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all 71 comments

[–]archimedes7 44 points45 points ago

Reddit lives by these words.

[–]iamleighanne 6 points7 points ago

It's why I'm pasty white!

[–]Harkonen_inc 0 points1 point ago

To put it in more Hiveminded lingo: Reddit approved!

[–]RamseyC 0 points1 point ago

from the 7334 downvotes... doesn't seem like there's a consensus among reddittors

[–]karmahameha 4 points5 points ago

I tried to think of a witty response, but instead I'm just going to begrudgingly agree and click another link

just one more...

[–]Fuck_Facebook_Caps 1 point2 points ago

just one more...

[–]classy_stegasaurus 0 points1 point ago

Have you ever seen someone with Irish skin sensitivity in the SUN? Arms turn to toast like mini marshmallows above a candle

[–]Axela619 1 point2 points ago

Ah yes I know too well what this is like. Have to slather on dat sunscreen everytime I'm in the sun for a long time. It's hard to find another person who has a lighter skin tone than me. Irish skin can be a hassle.

[–]Satans_pro_tips 0 points1 point ago

That was faked. No mention of bacon.

[–]bigrob1 0 points1 point ago

true story: I went to the doctor 2 months ago, said I couldnt focus on my school work like I used to. He had me do a bllod test. Turns out I had HALF the normal level of vitamin D. MFW I found out I could get more out of the internet if I was outside more, because my vitamin d levels were higher meaning I could focus on it more.

[–]Elmo226 0 points1 point ago

there's a pill for that you know

[–]bigrob1 0 points1 point ago

I know, im taking it

[–]FallenAngelShi 6 points7 points ago

Why is he so pale?

[–]HittingSmoke 4 points5 points ago

Why is he talking like that?

[–]FallenAngelShi 1 point2 points ago

He's already using the voice? It's gonna be a bad show.

[–]zrsmith3 25 points26 points ago

Jim Gaffigan is awesome.

[–]C3_Crane 4 points5 points ago

I saw him in Minneapolis, best act I've ever seen! You ever seen him live?

[–]thesneak155 2 points3 points ago

I saw him when he was in Memphis... My sides still hurt!

[–]C3_Crane 1 point2 points ago

Haha nice! A few years ago i bought all his albums on iTunes and can't get away from him since. I can repeat like every line. And it's funny because i can relate to him coming from a big catholic an pale family haha! Thanks for the chat!

[–]thesneak155 1 point2 points ago

Did you get Mr. Universe? It was about 60% of the content from the show that I saw.

[–]C3_Crane 1 point2 points ago

I think it's only on netflix, if not then i'll have to get it. But yeah, exactly i went last october and i watched the official "Mr. Universe" video and knew most of the content like you said. Still funny as hell...

[–]Umpy9 0 points1 point ago

I saw him in Minneapolis as well a couple of years ago.... I was literally crying!

[–]C3_Crane 1 point2 points ago

That's the kind of humor I like. That special kind that gets you laughing so hard you start to cry and then you do that awkward breathless seal clap, yeah, that's what I like about him.

[–]ExtraCheesed_Buddha 6 points7 points ago

That must be why he is so white, along with the thousands of redditors who live by this

[–]scotchirish 3 points4 points ago

As a ginger, this is my official summer policy

[–]cocohorse2007 7 points8 points ago

A redditor's motto.

[–]sytheman777 3 points4 points ago

It's funny because he's really pale.

[–]packerbacker1221 6 points7 points ago

You know what's easier than original content? Reposts.

[–]HittingSmoke 4 points5 points ago

You know what's easier than thinking of something original and witty to say? Whining about reposts when other's haven't seen it.

[–]Fuck_Facebook_Caps -2 points-1 points ago

Do you know what's easier than reposts? Reposts of tweets.

[–]weezecutioner 0 points1 point ago

you posted something by Jim Gaffigan?

Here's your upvote . . .

[–]I_dont_feel_tardy 1 point2 points ago

"You know what's easier than getting laid by a woman? Fapping"

-I_dont_feel_tardy

[–]CanIGetaHellYeah 1 point2 points ago

If you are familiar with this man you would have read it in the weird 'white whiney guy' thing he does. Awesome.

[–]Joeystew12 0 points1 point ago

This is me everyday because i open the door and reddit just pulls me back

[–]Rayezilla -1 points0 points ago

AMEN!

[–]rob_s_458 0 points1 point ago

How will I get my Vitamin D?

[–]rotodyne 0 points1 point ago

they make pills for that, and pills for anything else you may need to survive!

[–]0_0mg 0 points1 point ago

As a ginger I can confirm this.

[–]Singh100 1 point2 points ago

Or being born brown!

[–]iHavemyGreencard 1 point2 points ago

Amen

[–]crutch-touch 0 points1 point ago

i dont understand why you all think this is so revolutionary. we're all pasty skinned redditors aren't we?

[–]fourthferri 0 points1 point ago

"...I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John."

[–]xenostrife 0 points1 point ago

That's our specialty..

[–]mattv1 1 point2 points ago

Let's all make Hot Pocket references now.

[–]ForcedBeef 0 points1 point ago

Today, I woke up really late to the sun coming through a crack in my blinds. The rays landed directly on my resting eyelids. I thought to myself, "it's a beautiful day outside, I should do something." So, I shut the blinds.

[–]T87 1 point2 points ago

I can say with all honesty, I hate the sunlight. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I've tried tanning, but I just can't tan, as I'll burn if I'm out for more than 30 minutes in direct sunlight. Personally, I can't wait for winter where it's darker for the majority of the day.

I also wish I lived in an area where night activities were much more common, as there is nothing to do in the middle of nowhere expect drive around.

[–]Zachary938 1 point2 points ago

He must be a Redditor as well

[–]Maxtrix07 0 points1 point ago

Totally read his answer in a whisper...

[–]ms_emerika 0 points1 point ago

After I became a crispy critter from spending all day on the high seas today, I wish I would have stayed inside.

[–]Geronimo15 -1 points0 points ago

I watched his last stand up and it fucking sucked.

It's like an inevitable path most comedians go down if they get married or have children. Then all they want to fucking make jokes about is sex with their wife, and their and kids. Basing your routine on your kids or your sex life in the comedy industry is disgraceful.

[–]DragonRaptor 0 points1 point ago

... Or just put on a long sleeve and pants, and a hat, those work well as well.

Or just don't put on sunscreen :p I'm in canada, only time I use sunscreen is if I'm going to the beach/swimming outdoors.

[–]walk_in_the_null 1 point2 points ago

As someone who has never needed sunscreen because i don't burn, I feel for you guys that do...

[–]TheThrill85 0 points1 point ago

Abstinence only education.

[–]danin990 0 points1 point ago

Best part about this? You totally have to read it in his voice.

[–]tacossupreme 0 points1 point ago

yes!! i hate when my friends drag me out into the sun. (I'm mexican, I go dark easily)

[–]mavsman22 0 points1 point ago

Man moved inside for a reason, after all.

[–]P9J0S6 0 points1 point ago

You know what's easier than taking Tums? Not eating.

[–]Hyperzilean 1 point2 points ago

how would anybody will ever find this funny in any situation is beyond me.

[–]RedAppIe 1 point2 points ago

I fucking hate applying sunscreen, that's why I get burned every year....:(

[–]reputably26 0 points1 point ago

But a true redditor doesn't go outside.

[–]panlane 1 point2 points ago

I think this post proves that here on Reddit, as elsewhere, it's not what is said that matters, but who said it. Zach Braff, Jimmy Gaffigan and the like get the most mundane tweets upvoted to the high heavens. No insult to their talent but not everything they compose is funny. Honestly there is more wit in this comment thread than in the original tweet.

[–]huntewiden 0 points1 point ago

Did he patch things up with Bret and Jermaine?

[–]bigskykb 1 point2 points ago

If it's so great outside why are all the bugs trying to get in my house? Jim Gaffigan

[–]zephyr21 0 points1 point ago

You know what's easier than not going outside? Reddit

[–]DarthSatoris 1 point2 points ago

I live by these words every summer.

Saves me a lot of greasy skin. :)

[–]crank1000 -2 points-1 points ago

It's funny because he isn't referencing hot pockets at this particular point. Wait, still not funny.

[–]Krum_god_of_steel -2 points-1 points ago

Or fake sunscreen jizz on yourself, stay under the covers.

[–]brodiemann 0 points1 point ago

"I'm what you would call 'indoorsy'."

[–]atotalstranger -3 points-2 points ago

Or, we can go outside without sunscreen like real men.

[–]exoticlumps -1 points0 points ago

But a true redditor doesn't go outside