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top 200 commentsshow all 232

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 736 points737 points ago

Clark: I CAN OPEN YOUR EYES

Bruce: I have sonar vision.

Clark: TAKE YOU WONDER BY WONDER

Bruce: I wonder why we're friends.

Clark: OVER, SIDEWAYS AND UNDER ON A MAGIC CARPET RIDE

Bruce: You're not a fucking carpet, Clark.

Clark: A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Bruce: Ra's al Ghul said that too.

Clark: A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEW

Bruce: Why don't you do this with Lois?

Clark: NO ONE TO TELL US NO

Bruce: No.

Clark: OR WHERE TO GO

Bruce: Back.

Clark: OR SAY WE'RE ONLY DREAMING

Bruce: I dream of my parents.

[–]spiffy20[S] 227 points228 points ago

Crap I read this and got the dang song stuck in my head haha

[–]WhyNotBarbershop 356 points357 points ago

Me too (WARNING: Not Barbershop)

[–]spiffy20[S] 59 points60 points ago

That....that was amazing

[–]WhyNotBarbershop 31 points32 points ago

and most likely buried :[

EDIT: Yay! Nevermind!

[–]theoneandonlyMrMars 15 points16 points ago

Good thing happen to good novelty accounts

[–]Forhavu 4 points5 points ago

You are one my favorite accounts.

Barbershops can do anything. Except I can't quite imagine a barbershop singing "Sometimes when I poop I look back at it and wish it a goodbye before flushing it and crying for two hours. Farewell my poop. Farewell."

hint hint

[–]shooter190 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, I can't either.

[–]gerrettheferrett 21 points22 points ago

I liked this one.

[–]sonics_fan 18 points19 points ago

Pretty awesome, although as you go on Batman sounds more and more like Cookie Monster

[–]Delaneyloes 5 points6 points ago

Pretty darn clever :)

[–]AdmiralSkippy 3 points4 points ago

So like Christian Bale's Batman?

Nah, I guess Christian Bale's Batman sounds more like he has massive constipation.

[–]gadios 0 points1 point ago

I thought he sounded like beast from beauty and the beast

[–]ucffool 4 points5 points ago

This one... this one was the one that finally earned an upvote from me.

[–]ThisGuyHisOpinion 2 points3 points ago

I like you for barbershop.

I love you for this.

Please sir, continue on your quest to make the internet magical.

[–]alsoodani 2 points3 points ago

All that's left is for someone to animate this using your voice clip and then we have full circle (text ---> song --> animation).

[–]Danteblade[!] 1 point2 points ago

I was just browsing the comments hoping someone would do this. You are a genius.

[–]Bomberman334 1 point2 points ago

Absolutely Amazing.

[–]vp2008 1 point2 points ago

I wish I had a truck load of upvotes for you!

[–]Zondraxor 1 point2 points ago

All I can say is: Why not barbershop?

[–]BFinger 1 point2 points ago

Yea, you're great. I'm tagging you as great.

[–]JoNahNuhNah 1 point2 points ago

Logged on to give an upvote... Now that's saying something.

[–]only_says_fuck_yeah 99 points100 points ago

fuck yeah

[–]Majoring_In_Vaginas 46 points47 points ago

You're back?

[–]only_says_fuck_yeah 89 points90 points ago

fuck yeah

[–]pip_johnson 31 points32 points ago

HE WAS JUST HERE. I still have his scent...

[–]only_says_fuck_yeah 48 points49 points ago

fuck yeah

[–]Schroedingers_gif 36 points37 points ago

Getting dangerously near to downvote territory son.

[–]only_says_fuck_yeah 43 points44 points ago

fuck yeah

[–]zombie_zebra 22 points23 points ago

you're gay right?

[–]only_posts_in_greek 4 points5 points ago

ναι σκατά

[–]LatchHandy 0 points1 point ago

Novelties!

[–]Im_more_ignorant 19 points20 points ago

Wait for it...

[–]only_says_fuck_yeah 26 points27 points ago

fuck yeah

[–]gemini86 11 points12 points ago

Fuck yeah...

[–]only_says_fuck_yeah 19 points20 points ago

fuck yeah

[–]AddisonH 4 points5 points ago

Like this?

[–]Baja_Ha 0 points1 point ago

Yeah! I forgot all about that guy. Thank You!

[–]sushihamburger 11 points12 points ago

With both parts of the out of sync duet? That's the worst.

[–]spiffy20[S] 13 points14 points ago

Its pretty bad.

[–]sushihamburger 2 points3 points ago

Haha, I know... it's happening to me... right now. I haven't seen that movie in at least 15 years either, and there it is. Probably over-writing precious childhood memories as we speak.

[–]GoodGuyAnusDestroyer 0 points1 point ago

Please describe what childhood memories you're over-writing....

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]LupoAS 1 point2 points ago

I read it as Clark doing all the singing and Bruce just sitting there with a bad attitude.

[–]alimookmu 0 points1 point ago

I sang it hell fck.

[–]Shoola 1 point2 points ago

It's a great song man, I can think worse things that could be stuck in there.

[–]BernzSed 1 point2 points ago

Here, try unhearit.com

[–]Comment_Condiment -2 points-1 points ago

Horse Radish.

[–]WezVC 0 points1 point ago

Let's just nip this one in the bud, shall we?

[–]Comment_Condiment -1 points0 points ago

Frozen Peas served along side revenge.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points ago

i find it hard to not read every line of this in Aladdin's voice to the tune of the song.

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 39 points40 points ago

Fun fact: Brad Kane, the singing voice of Aladdin, was a writer for Fringe and will be writing the script for the next Daredevil movie.

[–]JoanCrawford 30 points31 points ago

There's going to be another Daredevil movie? ಠ_ಠ

[–]LifeFailure 42 points43 points ago

Yeah, but it's written by ALADDIN!

[–]SvenHudson 10 points11 points ago

's singing voice

[–]Finger-Food 3 points4 points ago

I think its a remake, not a sequel. If that makes you feel better.

[–]Eat_Bacon_nomnomnom 5 points6 points ago

Only slightly. Not a comic geek, so I'm probably wrong, but.... The whole I'm blind so now I have super powers is pretty fucking weak.

[–]Threemor 2 points3 points ago

Not super powers, necessarily. His other senses are just heightened to an extraordinary level. And the sonar is nice.

[–]StewieTheThird 4 points5 points ago

We figured, if we can re-do Spiderman already and not to many people make a big deal. Why not Daredevil?

[–]Freshenstein 2 points3 points ago

Fantastic Four is getting rebooted as well.

Still love me that 90s Corman version though. Almost as good as The Star Wars Holiday Special.

[–]boblahblah101 1 point2 points ago

The Spiderman remake was more to secure the rights than anything. Part of the reason Spiderman didn't make an appearance in The Avengers.

[–]spartaninspace 1 point2 points ago

actually it was the old "I got hit by poison, chemicals, radiation, radioactive waste and developed powers based on where I was exposed" kinda deal. would never fly today.

[–]IgnosticZealot 0 points1 point ago

Aka, the voice of princess Jasmine

[–]FlyingPasta 24 points25 points ago

You are one of my favorite things.

[–]Charwinger21 15 points16 points ago

REDDIT VERSION:

PhiladelphiaIrish and whiskers on kittens

Paralympic athletes and warm woollen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favourite things

.

Cream coloured ponies and good looking guys

sopa and acta and scientists with noodles

Wild geese that fly with mars on their wings

These are a few of my favourite things

.

Civilization II with life ruining secrets

Snowflakes that stay on my cats and my CATs

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favourite things

.

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favourite things

And then I don't feel so bad

.

.

edit: I know SOPA and ACTA are supposed to be upper case, however it was breaking up the flow of the song for me (I'd start yelling in my head), so I've decided to change it.

[–]vetro 2 points3 points ago

I'll have you know they're pastel colored!

[–]Charwinger21 0 points1 point ago

I know. I had to take a few liberties to keep as many of the words as possible though. :/

[–]FlyingPasta 1 point2 points ago

You just became another one of my favorite things...

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 6 points7 points ago

I'll take it that I come somewhere in between crisp apple streudels and schnitzel with noodles.

[–]FlyingPasta 1 point2 points ago

I hate those things. Somewhere in between nutella and a cold bottle of brew.

[–]jzstyles 8 points9 points ago

[–]peg10 10 points11 points ago

I love you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Someone please retype the original and add this in.

[–]userjoe9066 0 points1 point ago

10/10

[–]blackcat1010 2 points3 points ago

OVER, SIDEWAYS AND UNDER

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Enti_San 0 points1 point ago

I can read that with music in my ears ... wired part is that it has Batman and Superman voices instead now...spooky

[–]ItIsTimeToParty 4 points5 points ago

LOL, I had the music in my head too but I kept getting Aladdin for Superman and growling batman.

[–]Wowtrain 0 points1 point ago

Bruce's purpose is so much nobler than Mr. Kent's. Justice, or flying around complaining that no one loves you. Shape up superman.

[–]thrsblyt 0 points1 point ago

Amazing.

[–]microchenny 0 points1 point ago

hahaha nice

[–]cyclura 1 point2 points ago

I CAN SHOW YOU THE EARTH

I GUARANTEE THAT YOU'LL LACK WORDS

WHEN I MAKE IT SPIN BACKWARDS

AND REVERSE THE HANDS OF TIME...

[–]spiffy20[S] 229 points230 points ago

Didnt realize it was a repost. I saw it and wanted to share the laughs with Reddit. Forgive me

[–]kstiney18 207 points208 points ago

Eh I've been here for awhile and I've never seen it. Hilarious. Have an upvote.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 14 points15 points ago

Now this, this is a good attitude to have.

[–]kstiney18 7 points8 points ago

Simply being nice and honest :)

[–]thefarkinator 51 points52 points ago

Dude, one time, no points, and submitted almost simultaneously. Don't feel bad :)

[–]spiffy20[S] 31 points32 points ago

Thank you kind redditor!

[–]yostevo052 1 point2 points ago

I agree with him... id Upvote both of em.. and I read the last line as "I was eight. I decided on justice....... with a side of spaghetti". ..

[–]bobsroad 5 points6 points ago

I saw it on Facebook first. Is that... allowed?

[–]uranus86 12 points13 points ago

The importance of a good title vs a bland uninteresting one cannot be stressed enough. Enjoy your upvotes bud.

[–]KookyGuy 0 points1 point ago

I've seen the image before, but not the text. The text is why upvoted. Good stuff.

[–]generic_tastes -1 points0 points ago

fishnbacon is doing a bad job disproving that Batman is a pedophile. I welcome enlightening context.

[–]khold 0 points1 point ago

That image was pretty much plagiarized.

See this posted sept 2010.

[–]Pikachooo 16 points17 points ago

Looks a bit like my wallpaper: http://imgur.com/FLEEX

[–]Dheredia88 2 points3 points ago

I was hoping to find this in the comment. I have that same wallpaper on my phone! You know if the JLA movie falls through I think a Superman/Batman movie would still be great.

[–]dingofarmer2004 52 points53 points ago

You know, in retrospect, it is kinda retarded that Batman can't fly...like a fucking BAT.

Superman should be on the ground, just being super, and Batman should be in the air.

[–]revolvingdoor 28 points29 points ago

Part of what makes Batman Batman is that he doesn't have super powers.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 4 points5 points ago

He's just, like, a regular guy.

[–]timofo 9 points10 points ago

Yeah, if the regular guy had a high IQ, billions of dollars, a company that builds weapons and martial training.

[–]bluep3 3 points4 points ago

You're thinking of iron man. Oh wait...

[–]Tonytarium 2 points3 points ago

Iron man doesnt have martial arts training.

[–]tonyvee 1 point2 points ago

But if he did would he be better then Batman?

[–]Tonytarium 9 points10 points ago

No. No one is better than Batman.

[–]_Spider-man_ 2 points3 points ago

I am.

[–]greytor 2 points3 points ago

at least batman hasn't made a deal with the devil

[–]Maeglom 1 point2 points ago

Actually he has trained, just not to a batmanesque degree. Also Spider Man knows Kung-fu now.

[–]kilo4fun 0 points1 point ago

Even with all that martial arts training, the bats couldn't take on Iron Man. Sucks. Iron man is basically like super man, not quite as strong but no glaring weakness either. If it wasn't for that glaring weakness the bats would never have taken down Super Man.

[–]Tonytarium 1 point2 points ago

Well Batman is a master tactician, unless Ironman ambushes Batman, bats would probably go for Ironman's Arc reactor. If he gets a good strike or batarang hit on it he could defeat Ironman, but it is an uphill battle for batman.

[–]PretendImGoku 1 point2 points ago

I thought he boxed

[–]Tonytarium 1 point2 points ago

A little bit but no where close to Batmans level

[–]Sember 2 points3 points ago

Being rich is a super power today

[–]McSofa 1 point2 points ago

Don't forgot questionable mental health!

[–]mormontroll 0 points1 point ago

I always thought that Daredevil would make a better Batman.

[–]Freshenstein 7 points8 points ago

Originally Superman couldn't fly. He could only jump REALLY REALLY high, kinda like The Hulk, hence that "Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound" line in the old Superman theme.

[–]popsalock 17 points18 points ago

I feel there is a more comfortable way to fly with superman.

[–]ccolover 37 points38 points ago

On his dick? Oops, sorry, just a fantasy passing through.

[–]brianbrianbrian 29 points30 points ago

There's a joke about Superman flying around banging chicks sunbathing nude on the rooftops, and then the last one he bangs, she's like "what was that?" and the invisible man says "I don't know but my asshole hurts."

[–]popsalock 11 points12 points ago

Superman sees wonder women naked on a rooftop. He thinks about it, "im faster then a speeding bullet. I can go and do her and be back in the blink of an eye." So superman quickly and sneakly does the dead as fast as he can, then flies away. Women women exclaims, "what the hell was that?" And the invisible man replies, "I have no idea, but my ass is killing me."

Version i heard.

[–]brianbrianbrian 7 points8 points ago

Much better. Short, simple, and only one rape.

[–]vadergeek 1 point2 points ago

Ha, it's funny because the most prominent version of the Invisible Man in comics is a serial rapist.

[–]blackcat1010 6 points7 points ago

fifty shades of justice

[–]meltedlaundry 9 points10 points ago

Like this?

[–]popsalock 1 point2 points ago

you get a very lazy rimshot. very lazy. good one lol. +1

[–]ColonelPanic1000 11 points12 points ago

I thought it was 'Shining, Shimmering Splendor'.

E: I admit that I am wrong.

[–]supergai 14 points15 points ago

nope, it's "splendid"

source: i've done this musical so many fucking times it's unbelievable. but hey, i know someone who thought it was "splenda"

[–]unicyclejase 1 point2 points ago

Man, you can basically see your reflection in this artificial sweetener!

Splenda puns rock.

[–]Rather_Dashing 0 points1 point ago

Source: the damn song

Clearly splendid

[–]supergai 0 points1 point ago

strange, every "book" we've had for the musical always said "splendor". plus, i do just hear splendor, that's what i've heard since i read the book.

[–]MintClassic 4 points5 points ago

Rhymes with "when did."

[–]EdgeWhirl 0 points1 point ago

Dane Cook does a bit where he sings this song and he says "Splendor" instead. That's why I thought it was "Splendor" at least.

[–]Downhilldude 5 points6 points ago

I used to sing this song as a duet with a buddy of mine when we were living/working at a japanese resort. We were glorious.

[–]Spiffy912 6 points7 points ago

Clark: So... What do you want for breakfast? Bruce: Justice!

Also, you have quite a spiffy name.

[–]albrano -1 points0 points ago

This guy knows

[–]StagPartyGames 2 points3 points ago

[–]gamemasterty 2 points3 points ago

Batman owling on superman planking. Your argument is invalid.

[–]uradholl 0 points1 point ago

No, no. He's batting, owling is a whole nother guy.

[–]Littlebark1 0 points1 point ago

Owlman?

[–]uradholl 0 points1 point ago

Exactly.

[–]SayNo2Kryptonite 2 points3 points ago

someone please request Kevin Conroy and Tim Daly to read this on youtube or something.

[–]all_In_KhakisButJeff 1 point2 points ago

batman > superman

[–]Aregular89 2 points3 points ago

I fucking saw this with 0 comments and missed out on the karma train of a lifetime, can I have some upvotes?

[–]divorso 1 point2 points ago

made me laugh out loud

[–]bluemax13 -1 points0 points ago

This has to be a first. I shared this to friends on FB yesterday and now it's on Reddit, not vice versa.

BIZZZAAAROOOOOOOOOO

[–]spartaninspace 0 points1 point ago

Bizzaro hate you!

[–]MrUseL3tter 0 points1 point ago

Why the fuck did I have to sing that one aloud?

[–]FerociousImbecile 0 points1 point ago

Appropriate user name.

sigh

[–]JetRobotArmor 0 points1 point ago

This is absolutely beautiful... It just makes me so happy.

[–]ProCrastin8 -1 points0 points ago

I almost downvoted this solely because Batman's awkwardness actually made me feel awkward.

[–]SamReidn 0 points1 point ago

OH MY GOD THE JPEG IT BURNS

[–]vadergeek 1 point2 points ago

Ha, it's funny because Batman's a better singer than Supes.

[–]Octosteel 0 points1 point ago

This should have been in Lego Batman 2.

[–]CaptainPolarBear 0 points1 point ago

I saw this on facebook before reddit

[–]Darkencypher 0 points1 point ago

Batman is a fun killer.

[–]blonderain 1 point2 points ago

This is the first time I've actually laughed at something on this sub. Thanks for sharing.

[–]Aikarus 1 point2 points ago

This is officially the best thing ever

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Clark better show Bruce the circus.

...Batman loves the circus.

[–]MathewMurdock -1 points0 points ago

This is soooo wrong. 1. Batman would never ride on Superman like that. He would fall off. 2. Batman would either be in his Bat-plane or use his glider and lets Sups hold on to it.

[–]black19 1 point2 points ago

Supes could fly faster than the glider

[–]MathewMurdock 0 points1 point ago

Yeah I know that's why I said he can hold on to it. Although if Supes goes at like full speed I don't think Batman or his glider would hold up at all.

[–]aazav 0 points1 point ago

Princess? Fuck that shit.

[–]EverElusive 0 points1 point ago

For once, I actually saw this on fb before reddit.

[–]stackdatcheese 0 points1 point ago

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

[–]Yojimbra 0 points1 point ago

Holy crap something I saw on facebook before reddit? must be a really old repost.

[–]Luciner 1 point2 points ago

This is literally the best thing I've ever seen... Just saying...

[–]moolander 0 points1 point ago

I want to know what Clark promised Bruce.

[–]Zondraxor 1 point2 points ago

I started singing when I saw the title. I clicked the link and saw batman on superman. I'm going to need new lungs.

[–]TFJ 0 points1 point ago

Read that in the voices of Kevin Conroy and George Newbern.

[–]Milieunairess 0 points1 point ago

This one is just waiting for the trampoline competitor meme to hop in.

[–]umwellmaybe 1 point2 points ago

Oh im crying from laughing hard

[–]pcloadletter92 1 point2 points ago

[–]Athene_Wins -1 points0 points ago

Batman's name isn't bruce it's Christian Bale

[–]JahlmondJoy -1 points0 points ago

Why did you call him Clark? His real name is Superman and Clark is just his secret identity.

EDIT: I'll show myself out now.

[–]EvilPicnic 3 points4 points ago

Kal-El

[–]spartaninspace 5 points6 points ago

His real name is Kal'El.

Gah! Amateurs!