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1518
1519

Scumbag Tap (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Arcade_West

all 98 comments
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[–]Mattho 91 points92 points ago

I just sent this to my friend and he told me that you have to hold it down with your forehead. It now seems so obvious.

[–]Epsilon123 39 points40 points ago

Apply directly to the forehead.

[–]OrionFOTL 9 points10 points ago

Apple directly to the forehead.

[–]ferox1 4 points5 points ago

If you say so.

[–]ferox1 1 point2 points ago

HEADON

[–]GamerBum 0 points1 point ago

apply directly to the forhead

[–]IceOnFire97 0 points1 point ago

Apply directly to the forehead.

[–]Arcade_West[S] 6 points7 points ago

whoa

[–]ThatJanitor 10 points11 points ago

You hold it down, you don't make it explode.

[–]Hounmlayn 0 points1 point ago

I thought you wash each hand seperate. If more people did this I wouldn't be as pessimistic to try it.

[–]NotaMethAddict 36 points37 points ago

Personally I'm just happy when the tap doesn't come out at a million gallons per second.

[–]koolgoben 23 points24 points ago

Personally, I love it when those taps pressure wash my skin off. /s

[–]Solkre 11 points12 points ago

Amputees have the cleanest hands of all.

[–]pmayankees 26 points27 points ago

4 seconds? I would kill for 4 seconds. At my school the water would stop as soon as the button was released. And no, it is not possible to wash your hands like that.

[–]Tdaug1996 4 points5 points ago

push it down with your foot while you wash your hands.

[–]SunkSubmarines 8 points9 points ago

This is Seinfeld's comedy!

[–]barry_mccockinner 22 points23 points ago

Well we gotta save that water, ya know? I mean, what do you think it's just gonna fall out of the sky for free?

[–]Daliniues 7 points8 points ago

I hold it down with one hand while I wash the other and then switch

[–]cumfarts 14 points15 points ago

You just described my sex life

[–]bbs168 5 points6 points ago

That doesn't work, then you're just using a clean hand on a disgusting tap, might as well not wash at all then. I like the forehead idea, at least you don't eat with your forehead.

[–]chnops 3 points4 points ago

at least you don't eat with your forehead.

Speak for yourself, buddy.

[–]TimeZarg 1 point2 points ago

Wait, what if you grabbed a paper towel and used that to keep from touching the tap?

[–]bbs168 0 points1 point ago

I'd say anything is better than using your hands... unless you're the guy that eats with his forehead.

[–]petarduk 2 points3 points ago

how do you wash one hand without using the other?

[–]coolhwhip77 5 points6 points ago

The other scumbag tap (looks like this one is actually an example too), are the ones where there is a giant bowl, but the faucet comes out about 1 inch from the back of it, so you have to pile your hands up against the back of the bowl just to get under the water. Horrible design that you see everywhere. Make the fucking faucet spout longer!

[–]52150281 2 points3 points ago

Forever ago I read a comment by a contractor about this. If I remember correctly, that happens because whoever picked out (the client probably) the tap/basin combo never made sure they fit together properly, and probably just chose purely on looks/price. Then when its being installed, the actual worker who is doing it, easily realizes that the decision was stupid, but doesn't care because its not his fault the client is stupid/cheap.

I don't know why I felt I should get that off my chest.... I blame coffee.....

[–]Arcade_West[S] -1 points0 points ago

oh god, i hate those basins with a passion

[–]gerntoronto 7 points8 points ago

We're businessmen, we're gonna miss our plane. "Who cares! Water!"

[–]goldandguns 2 points3 points ago

came here to post this. Hilarious!

Hey! woah got a little water there!

Coincidentally, I walked into a bathroom with regular faucets the other day and one was running "full blast"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwd8xkD2xS0

[–]lamp37 16 points17 points ago

Dude, the first time someone taught me how to use this properly, it changed my life.

This is what you do:

Wet your hands with it. 4 seconds is enough. Then rub yours hands together vigorously, with the water not flowing. There is enough water on your hands to clean them. Apply soap, rub your hands together again. Squirt another four seconds worth of water on your hands. Then rub them together.

We're just in the habit of having the water continually run over our hands while we wash them. Really, it's unnecessary.

[–]avxera 19 points20 points ago

I call bullshit!

[–]sisleyek 11 points12 points ago

So what do you do if you encounter one of these shit models where you have to keep the button pressed to get any water out?! It always pisses me off, I feel like one of my hands ends up cleaner than the other because I run out of patience... I guess there's the forehead option, I shall try it.. ;_;

[–]Solkre 7 points8 points ago

Then you have to wash your forehead. The best option is to kill someone else in the room, and hold the button down with the corpse.

It's like a survivor horror puzzle.

[–]sisleyek 0 points1 point ago

Saw VII, ftw!

[–]lostmygravitas 8 points9 points ago

So you have to keep pushing the dirty button with your semi cleaned hands until you get all the soap off of your hands that are now dirty again from touching everyone else's crotch and poop contamination on the button then?

[–]steel93 1 point2 points ago

This is how I shower as well.

[–]AMERICAFUCKYEAH1 2 points3 points ago

I forgot about these, I've been spoiled by the automatic hand detection ones.

[–]plasmatic 2 points3 points ago

Do you want cold or extra hot?

[–]lmw1985 1 point2 points ago

I used to work at a very crappy retail store with motion detector sinks. The store also had really crappy customers. A customer knocked over some jars and there was broken glass on the floor. I'm trying to clean it up and end up cutting my finger. I have a piece of hanging skin and there is blood everywhere. I go to the bathroom to try to wash the blood off my hand and the water would flow for about 2 seconds and stop. I'm not sure if it was the loss of blood or the sight of the blood, but while I was standing there trying to get the stupid sink to work I felt like I was going to faint. If the majority of the population actually knew how to turn off faucets after use then these stupid sinks wouldn't be such an inconveniece to everyone else.

[–]meatwad75892 2 points3 points ago

This faucet is a saint compared to some others. Like the one that defaults to "off" on some kind of spring-held handle unless you're holding it at all times, therefore you can only use one hand at a time.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 4 points5 points ago

You get hosed at these things.

[–]Arcade_West[S] 1 point2 points ago

there's a few in the uni bathrooms i usually go to. 2 of them nearly rip my skin off and the other just drips out

[–]redditfan15 0 points1 point ago

By the time Ive put some soap on my hands the tap has turned off already so I have to turn it on again and make the tap all soapy.....-_-

[–]HeyHowdyHeyImOnAYoyo 1 point2 points ago

I'm just waiting for that smartass fuck to comment saying how these are really saving the environment! and you shouldnt need more than 4 seconds to wash your hands anyways!

[–]WidelyRecycled 0 points1 point ago

Put chin on tap for infinite water.

[–]lefalafel 0 points1 point ago

Nothing compared to the infamous Scumbag Shower.

[–]saffir 0 points1 point ago

I can't remember the last time I used one of these... maybe at a public park?

[–]goldandguns 1 point2 points ago

relevant

[–]Kinetic_Waffle 0 points1 point ago

Scumbag tap: Electrifies my fingers for some weird fucking reason that makes it unbearably painful to touch them. I'm a science student, and I don't know why this happens. Does it form some kind of galvanic cell with the copper, tin and O-Ring as the electrolytes that fries my hand? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

[–]ismoketabacco 0 points1 point ago

Hahaha, what? 4 seconds? I'd be lucky if I got 2.

[–]Kangar0oster 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else read this in Mitch Hedbergs voice?

[–]fr33state 0 points1 point ago

It helps if you use the plug.

[–]Arcade_West[S] 0 points1 point ago

your public restrooms have plugs?

[–]HiddenIdentities 0 points1 point ago

relevent

[–]bbs168 1 point2 points ago

You could always bring a tap buddy. You hold mine and I'll hold yours.

[–]Arcade_West[S] 1 point2 points ago

you mean to hold the tap right? cause i already have a guy for the other thing

[–]bbs168 1 point2 points ago

As long as the guy is familiar with the shake and squeeze then I don't see why he can't do both.

[–]me-tan 1 point2 points ago

If you curl your hand under your arm you can wash your hands while using the top of your forearm to hold the button down on the tap.

[–]petarduk 0 points1 point ago

seems there are a lot of people on reddit who wash their hands under the cold tap!

[–]Speaking-of-segues 0 points1 point ago

what is this "hand washing" thing you speak of?

[–]altometer 0 points1 point ago

I read that in Jon Voight's voice.

[–]ehizzo 0 points1 point ago

first world problems

[–]AnImpoliteCanadian 1 point2 points ago

Try 2.5 seconds

[–]armoire 1 point2 points ago

Are these hygienic?

[–]asshatnowhere 1 point2 points ago

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

[–]StupidHaiku 1 point2 points ago

I'm sorry. You want

EITHER cold OR hot water?

Well, too fucking bad.

[–]-Frog- 0 points1 point ago

These type of taps are balls but I have a trick that will keep the laser detection ones on:

Take a small piece of paper towel from beside the sink, wet it and stick it on the laser. Boom, the faucet will stay on until you remove the paper towel.

Alternatively if the laser pointer thingy can move then rotate so that it's facing a wall or the tap itself and it will stay on until you move it back.

[–]travisthetrain 0 points1 point ago

One does not simply become a scumbag without wearing Steve's hat.

[–]boyyouguysaredumb 1 point2 points ago

One of my favorite parts from Seinfeld on Broadway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZQMgYyyQkg&feature=player_detailpage#t=560s

[–]dclowd9901 0 points1 point ago

just moved to a new company. Their bathrooms have normal faucet handles. You turn them on to whatever flow you want, and turn them off when you're done. That's it. And for some reason, the level of trust and respect that goes into giving me that kind of power over my own hand washing is going to keep me here a long while.

[–]dankman38 0 points1 point ago

The goal when installing these things is to prevent people from wasting water.

Oh yeah, if you have the tools you can always adjust the timer to suit your needs.

[–]breadedcat 0 points1 point ago

This stupid thing is a hub for re-contamination. Disgusting.

[–]tablehop99 0 points1 point ago

not in Australia, mate.

[–]Cueball61 0 points1 point ago

4 seconds? Damn, you have generous taps.

[–]EdithKeelerMustDie 0 points1 point ago

I want an AMA from an autoamtic tap designer. Not testing that it stays on long enough to actually wash hands ought to be in violation of some engineering ethics code right?

[–]IHeartSoup 1 point2 points ago

Push it again.

[–]Arcade_West[S] 2 points3 points ago

but then you just touched the tap that you touched with the hand that touched your junk

[–]Antrikshy 2 points3 points ago

Do you actually use the whole palm and wrist to hold it? I mean, use your lower arm or the back of it. Jeez, this is first world problems.

[–]Mercury1600 -3 points-2 points ago

Is it really that much of a nuisance to press it again?

[–]Arcade_West[S] 4 points5 points ago

refer to my "junk-hands" post below

[–]Lolworth -2 points-1 points ago

We have approximately 1 hour until this thread gets trashed by an Ameritard asking why you haven't called it a "fawcett".

Brace yourselves.

[–]petarduk 4 points5 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/ym736/scumbag_tap/c5wzkwp

you were 30 minutes off =P

[–]Lolworth 2 points3 points ago

They got up early!

[–]theofficialposter 0 points1 point ago

As someone from America, I believe I will have to incorporate "ameritard" into my daily vocabulary. Thank you foreigner.

[–]ByTheGrammarOfThor 0 points1 point ago

butthurt much?

[–]nealbo 0 points1 point ago

Not to mention during those 4 seconds it lets out the same amount of water as the annual rainfall of the UK. Note: That's a lot of rainfall.

[–]longdrive95 -4 points-3 points ago

save water!

[–]borring 0 points1 point ago

At my college, we have sinks that you have to wave your hand in front of a sensor to start, then wave at it again to stop.. I like it.

[–]Im_honest_okay -1 points0 points ago

Hey maybe after seeing this video they'll increase it to FIVE seconds!

[–]Arcade_West[S] -1 points0 points ago

a boy can dream

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Lolworth 2 points3 points ago

Not in the rest of the world.

[–]Arcade_West[S] 1 point2 points ago

not in Australia, mate

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