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all 112 comments

[–]scruffy01 126 points127 points ago

My face when sitting on top of the washing machine.

[–]Im_sick_and_tired 71 points72 points ago

There's one huge problem that reddit suffers, which I think is the cause of almost all the problems it's facing, and that's the fluff principle, which I've also heard called "the conveyor belt problem". Basically it is reddit's root of all terrible.

Here's reddit's ranking algorithm. I only want you to notice two things about it: submission time matters hugely (new threads push old threads off the page aggressively), and upvotes are counted logarithmically (the first ten matter as much as the next 100). So, new threads get a boost, and new threads that have received 10 upvotes quickly get a massive boost. The effect of this is that anything that is easily judged and quickly voted on stands a much better chance of rising than something that takes a long time to judge and decide whether it's worth your vote. Reddit's algorithm is objectively and hugely biased towards fluff, content easily consumed and speedily voted on. And it's biased towards the votes of people who vote on fluff.

When I submit a long, good, thought provoking article to one of the defaults, I don't get downvoted. I just don't get voted on at all. I'll get two or three upvotes, but it won't matter, because by the time someone's read through the article and thought about it and whether it was worth their time and voted on it, the thread has fallen off the first page of /new/ and there's no saving it, while in the same amount of time an image macro has received hundreds of votes, not all upvotes but that doesn't matter, what matters is getting the first 10 while it's still got that youth juice.

This single problem explains so much of reddit's culture:

  • It's why image macros are huge here, and why those which can be read from the thumbnail are even more popular.

  • It's why /r/politics and /r/worldnews and /r/science are suffocated by articles which people have judged entirely from their titles, because an article that was so interesting that people actually read it would be disadvantaged on reddit, and the votes of people who actually read the articles count less.

  • It's a large part of why small subreddits are better than big ones. More submissions means old submissions get pushed under the fold faster, shortening the time that voting on them matters.

  • Reposts also have an advantage- people already having seen them, can vote on them that much quicker.

It's really shitty! And it's hard to reverse now, because this fluff-biased algorithm has attracted people who like fluff and driven away those that don't.

But changing the algorithm would give long, deep content at least a fighting chance.

edit: one good suggestion I've seen

e2: tl;dr counter: 12

[–]Dickfore 8 points9 points ago

Yes that's very interesting, but why did you decide to copypasta that on this thread?

[–]Visulth 16 points17 points ago

Thanks for posting this. I certainly didn't expect it but it is fascinating to read about.

[–]OgGorrilaKing 10 points11 points ago

There must be better places for this than r/funny.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 4 points5 points ago

DepthHub or TheoryofReddit

[–]MostlyIronicLatinGuy 2 points3 points ago

I think he's just posting it everywhere that it's relevant.

[–]hereaminuteago 8 points9 points ago

Did you just directly copy and paste this? I'm about 95% sure I've seen this exact comment in /r/bestof

Edit: yeah it turns out this is the number one comment of all time in bestof, word for word

[–]justAfad 2 points3 points ago

[–]BuildingBlocks 5 points6 points ago

Complains about people ignoring long comments,

In a long comment

With a failed TLDR

[–]ThatsSciencetastic 2 points3 points ago

He never even mentioned comments.

[–]abnerjames 1 point2 points ago

That's why reddit has dropped in IQ steadily, and has nearly driven me out! Now I can leave forever! Goodbye, Reddit!

[–]MadCervantes 1 point2 points ago

See ya later.

[–]tablevschair 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like you have a idea for a website, good luck.

Wrong place to post this though.

[–]jediwu 0 points1 point ago

Well, at least this might get a some views here in the comments.

[–]GoneAPeSh1t 0 points1 point ago

I read this entire comment and upvoted it.

[–]SilverSick 1 point2 points ago

By the time I read your post, it was already too late.

Seriously, i just figured out why some of the things I post which I think are great end up with no traction and why other things I post which are stupid get the most votes.

[–]MadCervantes 0 points1 point ago

Yes, this is true, and it's been said before a million times. So are you just posting this here as a statement or to karmawhore?

[–]MonkeyLuven 1 point2 points ago

No one should be forced to see their own O face.

[–]FecalFunBunny 0 points1 point ago

That one still looked pre O to me.

[–]Mr122 22 points23 points ago

Holy shit, imgur was slow to load, so I closed my phone then forgot what I was looking at. Just unlocked it to call someone and crapped my pants when this came up filling the screen.

[–]dat_ish 16 points17 points ago

i keep waiting for it to finish

[–]KonaCoiler 33 points34 points ago

Oh, it's about to finish alright

[–]brygy24 4 points5 points ago

Right out that blowhole. Ejaculation we're talking about ejaculation right?

[–]readyno 12 points13 points ago

[–]destiny24 4 points5 points ago

But more le karma in r/funny.

[–]Humble_Link_Guy 2 points3 points ago

[–]readyno 1 point2 points ago

a whoring at its finest

[–]Poops_Everywhere 15 points16 points ago

The word 'rape' needs to flash at the bottom.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 2 points3 points ago

Why do dolphins get such a bad rap as being the sexual aggressors of the sea?

[–]360walkaway 14 points15 points ago

Because they are.

[–]foreverbabybutt 0 points1 point ago

... Asked SQUID_FUCKER. Squids are obviously the most sexual sea creatures of all!

[–]austinready96 1 point2 points ago

Or Brazzers logo

[–]Solkre 5 points6 points ago

My face when I just leave 15 minutes early because I'm salary and I can. I hated on-the-clock jobs.

[–]crazye2ek1el[S] 8 points9 points ago

I'm salary too, but my work frowns upon leaving early.

[–]Solkre 2 points3 points ago

How low is the frown? I'm 99% self managed, except for a meeting every 2 weeks to discuss projects.

[–]sombrerolad 6 points7 points ago

I laughed more than I probably should have.

[–]whatthedrunk 1 point2 points ago

Oh man I am still laughing.

[–]professorfox 4 points5 points ago

We meet again dolphin face. FOR THE LAST TIME!

[–]techmaster242 2 points3 points ago

You're a dolphin.

[–]OrangeTux 3 points4 points ago

I read it as, "before I can leave FOR work."

Thinking, just go when you want to, man.

[–]JakeTheGunslinger 4 points5 points ago

Is the repeated shaking indicating that you're masturbating?

[–]MiCrOz 4 points5 points ago

You mean you don't beat off to complete the work day?

[–]JakeTheGunslinger 4 points5 points ago

I work from home. There is literally no point during the day at which I'm NOT beating off.

[–]MiCrOz 4 points5 points ago

I wish I worked at home, then people wouldn't give me such dirty looks when I'm beating off at work

[–]mikersh 1 point2 points ago

All I could think of was this.

[–]MrClean75 1 point2 points ago

My favorite scene from that movie.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth. I don't like that."

[–]blahsauce 0 points1 point ago

Why the long face?

[–]TearTea 1 point2 points ago

Must be a VERY attractive clock . . .

[–]pocketMagician 0 points1 point ago

I too, could not stop reading it as "My face when I'm staring at the cock 5 minutes before I can leave work."

[–]leledacooka 1 point2 points ago

Aaaaaaand I'm gonna need you to stay a few hours tonight and wrap up that paperwork. Mmmkay?

[–]QuaereVerumm 0 points1 point ago

I'll just leave whenever...it's nice to have a boss in a different time zone than you :)

[–]zake001 -1 points0 points ago

So I am listening to the new Animal Collective album and I just stared at this gif for way too long. So cliche.

[–]Taylor1021 0 points1 point ago

Only 3.5 hours to go :(

[–]Article48 1 point2 points ago

How coincidental, that's what my face looks like when I see a fantastic pair of titties.

[–]locotxwork 0 points1 point ago

Can't . .stop . .smiling

[–]Eyger 1 point2 points ago

Me thinks this dolphin is masturbating.

[–]FenrirIII 0 points1 point ago

Literally flogging the dolphin.

[–]lifewithtofu 0 points1 point ago

I bet you make this face doing other things.

Almost to the front page my friend! You know who this is....

[–]IanTheLion 0 points1 point ago

i did not read the title, i thought that it was something completely different...

[–]IcedcoffeeForever 1 point2 points ago

That is my face from 8:30 to 4:59 Monday to Friday

[–]fofo13 0 points1 point ago

So you are jacking off at work?? I haven't done it in a long time.

[–]deathbytray -1 points0 points ago

I swear I thought that dolphin is masturbating. Looking at me in the eye and finishing off.

[–]kielyourbossa 0 points1 point ago

Watching this makes me really nervous.

[–]kezeran 0 points1 point ago

i stared at that for 5 minutes expecting it to burst out dancing

[–]Shadownhero 0 points1 point ago

I work in a kitchen. There is no set time to when I'm out. It's always different every day

[–]DarkXlll 0 points1 point ago

You seriously need to cut back on the caffeine.

[–]trolli_baba 0 points1 point ago

find random porno online

girl is smoking hot

watch the same video constantly

look for more videos by the chick

can never find any

post on /r/tipofmypenis

GGG identifies the chick

posts link to more videos by the chick

MFW

[–]PoopChuteMcGoo 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only person who really likes their job and is a little sad when it's time to go? It's always popular to hate your job. I get it, I've had bad jobs. But surely SOME people like their jobs right? Anybody...

[–]zurkyburky 0 points1 point ago

it's vibrating faster and faster!

[–]cottonballz 0 points1 point ago

Class* for me haha

[–]Humble_Link_Guy -1 points0 points ago

[–]Norse_Ginger 0 points1 point ago

Can? Just go to work 5 min early. Have a cup of fucking coffee and relax for 5 min when you're there.

[–]LordOfGummies 0 points1 point ago

Was a gif really needed?

[–]thermocoffee 0 points1 point ago

Who are all these people leaving work at 5pm? People still work 9 to 5?

[–]thelittlewhitebird 0 points1 point ago

that kind of startled me :D

[–]ToSnoopy-NotToSnoopy 0 points1 point ago

I can honestly say that fucking scared me.. SOLELY and ONLY, because I was so damn close to my phone.... Lol

[–]root88 1 point2 points ago

That does not seem like the appropriate time to start fapping.

[–]thatawesomedude 0 points1 point ago

Oh god. This gif wouldn't open in RES, so I opened it in a new tab and promptly forgot about it. Came back 5 minutes later and nearly shat myself.

[–]JoeSvo 0 points1 point ago

Funny. That's the same face I make when I'm doing work. KA-CHOW.

[–]Qurse 0 points1 point ago

I literally watched this 5 minutes before I can leave and laughed so hard I filled out my time card and left 4 minutes early. BOOM!

[–]sgtmattkind 0 points1 point ago

My screen was dirty when I read this...very interesting reading it as 'cock' not 'clock'

[–]mindsfa 0 points1 point ago

I waited the whole five minutes, nothing happened!

[–]BromoErectus 0 points1 point ago

Yep

[–]M1A1TOMMY 0 points1 point ago

Is there a dog humping this off screan?

[–]Only_One_Left_Foot 0 points1 point ago

This would be better suited in /r/WTF than in here. That thing's just plain creepy.

[–]IAMATurdAMAA 0 points1 point ago

Haha upvote.. it's 4 mins before I can leave and I'm shaking 20% more :D

[–]bibiog 0 points1 point ago

Misread clocks for cocks. Made me scared to click it.

[–]FISHinaGlass 0 points1 point ago

My Face when i saw my first pair of tits...

[–]Megusta97987 0 points1 point ago

Well there's 5 minutes left, guess I better do something productive today. Logs into reddit.

[–]if-loop 0 points1 point ago

Why seem all you to hate their jobs?

[–]Gamer_Stix 0 points1 point ago

Bitch please, at my job there's no set end time.

[–]beachjustice 0 points1 point ago

this is kinda what being way_too_high is like. the shaking is your heartbeat.

[–]mcrufus 0 points1 point ago

Dude, tell me about it. It sucks when you're pressed for time jerking off.

[–]nacho93 0 points1 point ago

That's not a real dolphin! OP you sure are one CRAZY fella!

[–]triv94 0 points1 point ago

My face if I were a masturbating dolphin.

[–]Im-postle-able 0 points1 point ago

My face when you clearly stumbled upon a gif and made up a description you thought was appropriate for sweet sweet imaginary internet points ಠ_ಠ

[–]johnturkey 0 points1 point ago

lol thats the nice part about working at a professional place.. just fucking leave and come in early the next day.

[–]blooblahguy 0 points1 point ago

This nigga a dolphin

[–]cholesterol11 0 points1 point ago

Why don't you just... leave.

[–]darockerj 0 points1 point ago

This is the face that haunts my nightmares.

[–]doyduhdoh 0 points1 point ago

TIL How aquarium dolphins feel 5 minutes before their show is done

[–]king_pickles 0 points1 point ago

Was not expecting that. lol!

[–]trevor_from_the_bank 1 point2 points ago

AAADOLPHFAN

[–]beghead 1 point2 points ago

dolphins chat bitch

free pop dog

[–]OatStraw 0 points1 point ago

Why don't you just... leave?