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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Folmz 296 points297 points ago

As a child of the 80s, I was beaten with a studded belt. Good times.

[–]magicbullets 208 points209 points ago

To a soundtrack of Mötley Crüe?

[–]Folmz 193 points194 points ago

Journey mostly.

[–]magicbullets 454 points455 points ago

Don't Stop The Beating...

[–]ryuza[S] 180 points181 points ago

Just a city belt...

[–]Valek27 71 points72 points ago

Cut and tanned in South Detroit!

[–]BaronVonKlotz 31 points32 points ago

Living in a belty world...

[–]N0V0w3ls 140 points141 points ago

Well this is going downhill fast...

[–]Verseratops 23 points24 points ago

I would have preferred leather, but I was late to the station.

[–]Verseratops 60 points61 points ago

He took a midnight beating, it went on, and on, and on, and o~on.

[–]dcaking 88 points89 points ago

Is it just me, or is this one of the worst pun threads ever written on Reddit?

[–]onelazykid 27 points28 points ago

Living in a belty world is just awful. I have to agree with you.

[–]NorwegianPearl 9 points10 points ago

I'm inclined to agree.

Belt.

[–]ahreckon 31 points32 points ago

My ass ain't got no feeelliinggg...

[–]Folmz 12 points13 points ago

Don't stop. The beating.

[–]Wardog1368 5 points6 points ago

oooooo ooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[–]ncm3t4l 31 points32 points ago

My blood is on the ceeeeeeeeeeei-ling.

[–]__TheLastDodo__ 18 points19 points ago

Hold on to your pleating...

[–]upstreamsalmon 5 points6 points ago

Was it because you stopped believing?

[–]StretchinAZ 22 points23 points ago

The belt of choice for my step father was his kidney belt.

[–]abagofdicks 14 points15 points ago

Seems like it would be harder to get a good whack out of that thing.

[–]ellipses1 6 points7 points ago

not if you swing it like a baseball bat

[–]alabap 6 points7 points ago

oh shit.

[–]ATownStomp 5 points6 points ago

Guess you shoulda done yer damn homework!

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

I can one up you I known people with the wooden paddle with holes drilled in the paddle.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

Ah yes - speed holes - they made the paddle go faster.

[–]kmart890 34 points35 points ago

Explainin' the paddle. That's a paddlin'.

[–]that-freakin-guy 12 points13 points ago

Go away, Flanders. You don't know anything about speed holes.

[–]beffyman 6 points7 points ago

[–]sindles 4 points5 points ago

Wow. Came here to say this... Born in the 80s and dad used a studded belt. Mom used a wooden spoon until she broke it on my brother.. then she just resorted to "wait until your father gets home"

[–]drajax 260 points261 points ago

Go cut me a switch!

[–]obillion 129 points130 points ago

that was the most real that experience got. you have done something bad. you feel bad but now you must fetch the item that shall tear into your ass. you cant go pick a small one because that just increases the duration of the beating.

TL;DR good times

[–]ddb1 34 points35 points ago

I once dragged in a giant branch that was 6 feet long and 4 inches thick, with leaves all over it still... they didn't appreciate the humor

[–]obillion 3 points4 points ago

your leaving out the best part

[–]Violoner 16 points17 points ago

They grabbed him by the ankles and beat the branch with him.

[–]PeanutsOfDoom 39 points40 points ago

My uncles tell me about a time the family was camping and the boys were acting up. My grandpa told them to go cut a switch. My dad being a smart ass told them to get a brittle one so it would break after a couple of hits. My grandpa didn't like that much, it sounds like my dad got a double dose from a grandpa cut switch after that one.

[–]obillion 51 points52 points ago

if you wanted to see how quickly things could escalate you would pick a brittle one. you almost had to become a switch connoisseur and pick one that was both substantial enough to give the illusion of long term staying power, was smooth enough not to dig in and menacing enough to show you got the point of the whole exercise. talk about a confusing predicament to be put in.

[–]flesh_crayon 37 points38 points ago

I feel like I would want to drag back the biggest branch I could find. Hopefully one big swing with a comically large branch would be enough.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

I went out into the woods and brought back a sapling tree that had fallen over. It took me awhile, but it did indeed get me out of a beating that time.

[–]onelazykid 54 points55 points ago

Combined age of these commenters: 1 billion years old.

[–]LaLaBKS 59 points60 points ago

By your user name, one can assume you've never had a proper ass-beating.

[–]spartican 20 points21 points ago

Even worst during spring. When the bushes and tree were just getting back to green. So no matter which one you picked. They all would be just as painful as the next. Fucking spring.

[–]obillion 7 points8 points ago

those green ones could keep going until it starts splitting and then its like your getting hit by more than one stick.

[–]spartican 6 points7 points ago

During winter though, You have those parents coming up with new ways to beat your ass. Those bastards can get creative in the art of ass whipping. I think they just enjoyed coming up with new ways.

[–]big_deal 2 points3 points ago

My uncles tell a similar story: Grandpa tells them to go pick out a switch. One uncle brings back the tiniest twig he could find - like matchstick size. The other uncle drags back a log almost as big as himself. My Grandpa and grandma crack up laughing at both of them and let them off with a warning.

Of course, from then on they were never given the option to pick out their own switch.

[–]TimeBeard 2 points3 points ago

Thankfully I never had to go through this experience as it sounds devastating. Instead my father just cut down and sanded a 2x4 to include a business end and a handle that was sturdy enough to last forever, but thin enough to apply a lot of power to a concentrated area. He then named it and burned the name "Attitude Adjuster" across the thing.

[–]sarais 26 points27 points ago

And the walk back ever so slowly.

[–]neon_kid 28 points29 points ago

[–]Patsson77 16 points17 points ago

As the baby of MANY older cousins, it was always my job to get the switch (but it was never used on me). I was the most powerful 5 year old in the neighborhood!

[–]yourpenisinmyhand 5 points6 points ago

"Patson77... this has huge thorns on it... you want daddy to hit your cousins with this?" "Yes pwease, can I watch? I like it when the red comes out." "...my God, what have I created!?!?"

[–]folgersclassicroast 18 points19 points ago

She would beat me with a switch.

[–]TheLastBoyScout 229 points230 points ago

Yes, i was one of the poor kids...

I too had the flip flop sail boat, spoony the talking spoon, and a leather belt I was led to believe was a flat snake.

[–]cuppincayk 74 points75 points ago

So innocent...

[–]JoshSN 3 points4 points ago

Was yours lefty or righty?

I've always wondered who had the other flip-flop to my beloved Righty, the best toy I could ever hope for.

[–]TheLastBoyScout 6 points7 points ago

Even worse. It was the kind that could go on either foot. I had to call my boat an it because i couldnt tell if it went left or right.

[–]alcakd 25 points26 points ago

What about the fat snake?

I'll see myself out.

[–]SoHurDurLulz 104 points105 points ago

Coat hanger anyone?

[–]Folmz 68 points69 points ago

NO WIRE HANGERS!

[–]sarais 28 points29 points ago

NO HANGING WIRES!!!

[–]pornmonger 41 points42 points ago

Abortion is the ultimate way to keep a child from breaking rules.

[–]phantomganonftw 11 points12 points ago

or hairbrushes

[–]noturtypicalredditor 5 points6 points ago

Plastic hangers! Sometimes they got broken.....on our butts.

[–]TX_TOAST 53 points54 points ago

Never a flip flop. But the spoon and belt... Whew!

[–]fakecandy 11 points12 points ago

I got the spoon more over the belt. My god, my mother knew how to leave some nasty welts with that spoon.

[–]DiscountPhil 8 points9 points ago

My mom broke a few wooden spoons over my ass. She wised up and got plastic spoons. They don't break...

[–]captainf 9 points10 points ago

I remember I had this sandbox and I had just done something that I knew was going to get me the spoon. I fucking buried that thing as deep as I could in the sandbox and got off scott free for the day.

[–]brumbrum21 378 points379 points ago

to this day, the smell of whiskey makes me flinch

[–]Carlosknowsnothing 474 points475 points ago

That got real dark real quick

[–]alreadytakenusername 158 points159 points ago

It's all fun and games until someone begins to tell their real story.

[–]Offensive_Brute 49 points50 points ago

Its all fun and games when we're all telling stories of fondly remembered isolated whoopings we know we deserved in our youth and then some one starts talking about real physical abuse.

[–]utopianfiat 13 points14 points ago

I ain't fondly remember no whooping.

My parents almost never turned to corporal though. I remember being over at my nextdoor neighbor's house and his dad- out of fucking nowhere- charges into the room with his belt half off and starts going to town on the kid. His mom has to drag me out of the room while I'm just staring at the buckle land across this kid's back.

Kid's doing fine now. Smart dude. Making bank. Good guy. His dad's still an asshole and a chump though.

[–]flesh_crayon 71 points72 points ago

You got spanked with whiskey? Usually I have to pay for that kind of thing.

[–]bisp247 40 points41 points ago

I used to get hot sauce in my mouth when I was little, I got it so many times that now I love hot sauce. Your move Mom

[–]ryuza[S] 29 points30 points ago

I love belt.

[–]ginjal 4 points5 points ago

[–]internet_earplugs 39 points40 points ago

I was exclusively paddled, by my mother, with a wooden spoon as a child. It was old, worn and had a crack running down the left side. I hated that spoon. Fast forward 8-9 years, I was helping my Mom cook play dough for her preschool class. I was stirring the green dough with the very same spoon that used to leave my butt bright red. As I lifted the dough with the spoon, I heard a crack like the sound of spaghetti noodles being broken. I looked down, the end of the spoon submerged in the dough, the broken handle in my hand, the spoon was dead. The wooden spoon was dead.

To this day I maintain the spoon died of old age and overuse but my mother does not believe me. She insists I broke the spoon on purpose out of spite. She is welcome to believe what she wants to believe, but all I know is: on that day I beat the spoon, the spoon did NOT beat me.

[–]Null_Reference_ 71 points72 points ago

You forgot the hotwheels track.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

holy fucking shit, that sounds brutal.

[–]ezfrag 6 points7 points ago

Nothing would get your attention better than being beat with your own toy. The only thing worse was when mom kept that one piece that was so effective at beating my ass and I had to shorten the track after the loop and the car would overshoot the ramp on the other side.

[–]shitterplug 3 points4 points ago

My dad tried that once, it left really bloody lines... He was terrified I would show the wounds to a teacher, so he just switched back to the trusty fly swatter. Fuck that thing hurt...

[–]Taodyn 562 points563 points ago

Who the hell beats their child with a flip flop? If you're going to do it, do it right.

[–]ryuza[S] 301 points302 points ago

Welcome to Australia.

[–]Taodyn 232 points233 points ago

See, this is why Good Will Hunting wasn't made in Australia.

Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a flip flop on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."

Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.

Will: I used to go with the flip flop.

Sean: Why?

Will: Cause fuck him, that's why.

[–]Tiktaky 82 points83 points ago

Also because he said "flip flop" ... We call them "Thongs" just to confuse people who think we are talking about G-strings.

[–]Taodyn 145 points146 points ago

To Australians, Sisqo's "The Thong Song" must be a heartbreaking look at the horrors of child abuse.

[–]Tiktaky 70 points71 points ago

it makes Baby's booty go da na da na :(

[–]ordinaryrendition[!] 30 points31 points ago

Indians too. Chapals make a uniquely satisfying "thwack" sound for parents...

[–]imboss 5 points6 points ago

Over my years I became a pro at dodging chapals. I seriously used to bust out some Matrix-esque moves.

[–]etrebug 25 points26 points ago

And to Brazil.

[–]No_Please_Continue 4 points5 points ago

Havainas to the ass.

[–]yevb 19 points20 points ago

Also popular in the middle-east.

[–]LilRach05 10 points11 points ago

or Puerto Rico

[–]ma5haga 137 points138 points ago

I can tell you first hand that this is a common form of punishment by Mexican mothers/grandmothers.

[–]klahaya 158 points159 points ago

The dreaded chanclas.

[–]HandsomeAssNigga 40 points41 points ago

And the bottom isn't made out of foam/sponge either.

[–]Kazaril 28 points29 points ago

You're made out of foam/sponge.

[–]pepito420 35 points36 points ago

the chancletas of doom. Still get PTSD at the beach, hispanic mothers do not play around.

[–]ssmilesandnods 21 points22 points ago

They never missed no matter where you ran or how your weaved.

[–]pearldrum1 3 points4 points ago

We just thought we were weaving. In reality we moved slightly from one side to the other while they held our left arm firmly in place.

We deluded ourselves.

[–]moyvinglayvin 69 points70 points ago

my mother could throw that shit around a corner

[–]puapsyche 26 points27 points ago

Same with Chinese mothers/grandmothers. Chinese folk wear slippers a lot, and I've had friends who have been punished via slippers.

source: first generation Chinese

[–]Bertylee 6 points7 points ago

You forget the feather duster

[–]whatainttaken 19 points20 points ago

My family is not Mexican, but we live in SoCal and boy howdy did my mom ever pick up on the slipper beat-down technique from the Mexican moms.

[–]lilit829 7 points8 points ago

I can vouch for Cubans.

[–]Offensive_Brute 4 points5 points ago

Puerto Rico too.

[–]tenderlegs 31 points32 points ago

Arabs

[–]flex0r 4 points5 points ago

This would probably be racist if it were't so true.

[–]Morushki 87 points88 points ago

Hispanics. It was always the chancleta..

[–]pepito420 36 points37 points ago

My abuela beat me and my dad/aunts when they were kids with a chicote , she hung it in the living room right under a cross in full view of all potential offenders as a warning for their indiscretions. Hispanic children have seen shit you people will never understand

[–]jarejay 3 points4 points ago

Worth the click; there were tits on that page

[–]TremendousPete 43 points44 points ago

Oh.. it's about beatings.

Wait that's sad.

[–]Taodyn 31 points32 points ago

Depends which side of the flip flop you're on.

[–]Slattz 13 points14 points ago

Oh.. it's about beatings.

What?

I thought... Flip flops = Beach

Wooden spoon = good home cooked food

Belt = food that's good but not fattening!

[–]Taodyn 38 points39 points ago

No.

Flip flops = beating apparently

Wooden spoon = beating definitely

Belt = dammit, I can't find the wooden spoon.

[–]AscentofDissent 24 points25 points ago

That is adorably naive.

[–]Balthanos 22 points23 points ago

They hurt like a son of a bitch if they are used properly.

[–]Bslugger360 5 points6 points ago

My mom had one fair that had hard plastic on the bottom, not rubber, and was textured like cleats. When you saw her taking it off, you ran like hell.

[–]Taodyn 24 points25 points ago

Maybe if you don't take them off first.

[–]eyecite 18 points19 points ago

Moms do. They don't have a portable beating apparatus like men do with their belts, so they use flip flops for quick pops.

[–]Taodyn 10 points11 points ago

You gotta admit, when a dad pulls out the belt in one pull like Indiana Jones with his bullwhip, that's pretty awesome.

The beating, not so much.

[–]VaginalAstronaut 14 points15 points ago

My dad would fold it in half and snap it really loud to raise the fear in me. Whenever I hear the jingly sound of someone taking off their belt, I feel like I'm in trouble.

[–]Taodyn 7 points8 points ago

Getting undressed at night must be traumatizing.

[–]gsxr 12 points13 points ago

you ever gotten hit with a flip flop? Shit hurts man. Stings like crazy. It's got that same sting as being hit with a snap'd towel.

[–]ChiefBromden 21 points22 points ago

You've obviously never fucked around, like a turd, in the back seat while your mother was driving home from the shore, north, on the GSP in NJ, on a heavily trafficked Sunday afternoon. Mom could hit me with 100% accuracy while sitting in the front seat, with her flipflop. You work with whatchu got man.

[–]abegosum 3 points4 points ago

Well, that was... detailed.

[–]bubbafloyd 10 points11 points ago

my mom

[–]wankerschnitzel 9 points10 points ago

I got my bear bare ass smacked with my own Vann's slip on once. No fun.

[–]Taodyn 16 points17 points ago

I bet the bear didn't like it either.

[–]JeremyMethfield 5 points6 points ago

Some times "right" just happens to be whatever is with in arms reach.

[–]Taodyn 14 points15 points ago

See, this is why it is actually helpful when two children misbehave at the same time.

Then you hit a motherfucker with another motherfucker.

[–]Traniz 4 points5 points ago

Swedish cloggs then?

[–]Taodyn 19 points20 points ago

Now, those wood hurt.

[–]Kridder25 63 points64 points ago

Someone should add a flyswatter to this one.

[–]knowledgehungry 25 points26 points ago

The only time I did get punished, a flyswatter was used. I remember running around the house fleeing for my life.

[–]palebluedot0418 10 points11 points ago

Anybody who doubts how painful this one is, once that flappy, rubbery part breaks off you better hope they're done, otherwise it's just like "Mommy Dearest" and you're getting beaten with a wire coat hanger!

[–]jimmux 7 points8 points ago

Also hairbrush.

[–]bylebog 5 points6 points ago

Ah, shit. Totally forgot about that. Was left in the care of great-grandma back in 76-ish at age 2 or so. "Go play outside." Then come in and whipped for getting dirty.

[–]frozenfire 13 points14 points ago

Sounds like a terrible woman.

[–]InternetsSpokesman 74 points75 points ago

My mom tells this story of how I stole the spoon from her and she then realized I was bigger than her. She then started taking me to church MULTIPLE times a week... I wish I never stole that spoon

[–]wintremute 143 points144 points ago

Church. The ultimate punishment.

[–]pepito420 29 points30 points ago

No, sir. Church is manageable as you can just meditate until it's over. A church retreat is the ultimate punishment, it's not over in an hour.

[–]silverwolf761 14 points15 points ago

Religion: The Punishment that keeps on punishing

[–]flashingcurser 20 points21 points ago

My brother and I hatched a plan to hide mom's spoon. I was 5 and he was 6, we hid it behind our dresser. Mom found it.

edit terrible grammar

[–]evi1 11 points12 points ago

When I was like 5 I took the wooden spoon out of the kitchen and threw it in the fire place. My mom learned her lesson and only used non flammable items in the future.

I also cut up her belt. I was a bad kid.

[–]Rushm00re 90 points91 points ago

Warning: The following comments will be very sad and depressing, and a little funny.

[–]albequirky 35 points36 points ago

I feel left out because I seem to be the only one here that was beaten with TV cables =[

[–]OrigamiTrail 29 points30 points ago

Honestly, who throws a shoe

[–]dray96 3 points4 points ago

Beat me to it

[–]FreshFruitCup 4 points5 points ago

There is no throwing... Get a good handle on that flip flop like your going to smite a fly, pull down your little one's trousers, and make them regret hurling your chainsaw into a pool because they're sick of hauling wood and want their childhood back.

Edit: sadface I don't have kids...

[–]Congzilla 116 points117 points ago

I got the wood spoon, and my childhood was still awesome.

[–]RipVanVVinkle 42 points43 points ago

Except if the first time they use it on you, in an attempt to spare your ass from the beating you stuck your hand back there to try to block it and get the spoon across the knuckles and then get your ass busted too.

[–]Unit4 56 points57 points ago

It wasn't until I was about 13 and entering high school that I realized how important being spanked as a kid was. When I was little, I was a fairly well behaved kid, but at times I was a little shit like the rest of them. My parents didn't like spanking me, after some point they stopped spanking me because they knew I was old enough to understand other punishments. It wasn't until I got to high school and saw all the entitled shitheads running around being idiots that I really appreciated what my parents did when I was little. It wasn't that I was too scared of the authority at that age, and so I stayed in line, but instead that I was able to see where their actions were taking them and where my actions were taking me and I was glad that my parents cared enough to help set me straight before I understood, or was capable of understanding where I was headed.

Sure, when I was a kid I hated it, vowed I would never do it to my kids, but my parents made it clear they loved me, never did they take their anger out on me or whip me more than I deserved it. They didn't enjoy doing it, but they did it because it was a consequence, and I understood consequences. When I got older, they moved on to punishments that I could understand better without the physical pain. They grounded me from the computer or sent me to bed without dinner one night, but the worst was always just a hang of the head and a "We don't hate you, but we are disappointed."

I guess I should also add that my parents never drank or anything like that, I don't think it was abuse, they were always good to me.

[–]CptBread 26 points27 points ago

What makes you think that the lack of spanking is what created these "entitled shitheads"?

Myself I come from a country where spanking, or anything similar, have been illegal since 1979 making pretty much my whole generation spank free. So this whole notion of spanking being needed for good parenting just seams silly to me... I mean it's not like most people in my country are "entitled shitheads"...

[–]Kazang 5 points6 points ago

Maybe he just associates spanking with discipline, if spanking the was the main or only form of discipline then not getting that would have a pretty marked effect.

Where spanking is not the norm kids get disciplined in the other ways, standing in the corner, no TV or games for a week, no treats, etc. No discipline at all leads to entitled shitheads.

[–]AaronJ96 4 points5 points ago

I feel like if you need to resort to hitting to teach a child a lesson you are failing as a parent. There are plenty of ways to teach a kid a lesson not using violence. If you teach them good values instead of just hitting you when you do something wrong maybe you won't become an "entitled shithead". And feeling entitled knows no age, some people will always feel entitled.

[–]etrebug 17 points18 points ago

When i was 9 i skipped school and decided to ride a bus throughout the city (which is a big city). When i went home, my mom was desperate, and she sent me to the shower. I was there, all nakedy, happy because i thought nothing would happen when suddenly she grabs the hose from the shower and then slaps me in the back with the fucking hose.

[–]ryuza[S] 13 points14 points ago

Boy, that escalated quickly.

[–]RidiculousIncarnate 74 points75 points ago

Big family, 6 kids and Italian.

We knew the wooden spoon very well but it was never overused. Only when we deserved it and every one of us kids grew up understanding proper punishment and why it was administered.

So, while being punished sucked, our childhood was pretty awesome and not at all marred by a good swatting when we were being little shits.

[–]FWS02 31 points32 points ago

Well said. I could go on with tales of ass-whippings that sound heinous without perspective, but we were well loved and disciplined with spankings only when we had it coming.

[–]Timmytanks40 16 points17 points ago

Wait whats this? You were spanked for good reasons as a child? But you should be a serial killing-hooker-clan member by now. Thats the only possible outcome. I refuse to believe you learned from your experiences and grew into a healthy functioning adult in society.

[–]Gis_A_Maul 21 points22 points ago

[–]flooid 11 points12 points ago

Throw in a brush and I'm there!

[–]rawdikrik 14 points15 points ago

If you were hispanic, the sandal was wooden... But the idea is the same.

[–]JaySwell 10 points11 points ago

Being of hispanic decent, the very sight of a flip-flop (aka chancleta) strikes fear into my heart...

[–]ThatSpuds 23 points24 points ago

I kinda shuddered.

When I was a kid, and you got in trouble... (which could have been for anything with my mother) -- you got a choice... 10 lashes with the cord from the iron (which hurt like a motherfucker) or she would hit you with that wooden spoon until it broke.

Talk about a goddamn choice.

[–]ryuza[S] 36 points37 points ago

:( They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

[–]DSSCRA 21 points22 points ago

Pretty sure that is just crossing some sort of arbitrary line into the realm of child abuse

[–]ragemaker2012 9 points10 points ago

my ass remembers the belt and the spoon, but what the fuck is with the flip flop

[–]cuppincayk 23 points24 points ago

It's when you were in so much trouble that your mother grabbed the nearest thing to beat you with, which was her shoe.

[–]fate3 28 points29 points ago

apparently the flip flop was not for white children

[–]bubbafloyd 9 points10 points ago

white american. flip flop was mom's weapon of choice.

[–]Timmytanks40 8 points9 points ago

Weapon Unlocked: Long Spoon

Attack: +15 - downward swing is now 90% critical hit.

Range: +5 - enemies fleeing house can now be ranged from porch steps.

Magic: + 50 - chores now done in half the time. House become 70% quieter when wielding.

Special Bonus: cook with it.

[–]Tiktaky 9 points10 points ago

No, But a thong is for white Australians.

[–]puzzleia 16 points17 points ago

Did anyone notice the link name thing to this? Best one yet.

[–]Ka1ser 5 points6 points ago

Ah yeah I remember them: my mom used the item in the middle to cook and my dad wore the thing on the right. And because we are German, we all constantly wear flipflops while wearing socks

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Rushm00re 16 points17 points ago

Going to the beach, cooking with my mom, Quailman from Doug... Ah childhood!

[–]JWL1092 9 points10 points ago

oh god no..... not the wooden spoon!

[–]lannielan 8 points9 points ago

Being from an Asian family, I used to get beat with a bunch of chopsticks. I still get made fun of from my non-Asian friends.

[–]Sergeant_Walrus 6 points7 points ago

Only ever got hit with the belt once. After that Dad only had to reach for it and you stopped whatever the fuck you were doing.

[–]klahaya 5 points6 points ago

Chanclas... the horror of my childhood.

[–]intoon 7 points8 points ago

That spoon is missing some holes.... -My Ass.

[–]L0stInthevoid 6 points7 points ago

Oooo, the wooden spoon.. How you broke over my ass.. Checks of steel right here ladys!

[–]invisibleman4884 3 points4 points ago

yup, yup, and yup. I regret nothing.

[–]apocal7964 5 points6 points ago

some kids need those my mom told me of how she was at the store and saw a 7 or 8 year of saying very loudly to his mom "Fck You, You Fcking C*nt I want this Cereal If you touch me I will call 911 on You" the mother just looked sad and put the cereal in the cart and kept going.

[–]captainblammo 6 points7 points ago

I got the wooden spoon all the time and I had an awesome childhood. Eat that internets.

[–]Basstissimo 4 points5 points ago

My grandfather would either use a belt or if he didn't have one he would just hit the shit out of them.

My dad told me a story about him and his brothers climbing around on their front porch. My dad tripped off the porch and landed on his face, so his face was red and there were tears in his eyes. At this time, my grandpa comes out, wearing his overalls (so he didn't have a belt I guess?).

"Which one of you did this to him?" my grandpa asks. Everybody runs but my dad's eldest brother, so he said it was an accident; but my grandpa cut him off there and hopped down off the porch then punched him in the face.

"AIN'T SO NICE WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU, HUH?!" He had my dad fetch his belt for him so he could belt him too.

When my dad told me that story for the first time, his eyes teared up. This is a man that's been poisoned by insurgents, has chemical burns on his back and is numbed to violence from being shelled by mortars every day in the Gulf War.

[–]CatchThisDrift 3 points4 points ago

Never a flip flop; it was always my own shoe, and I always felt like I had the most solidly soled shoes in the world. And, of course, the wooden spoon. But if the wooden spoon was not available, a plastic spatula was also an option.

[–]Irishman_reddit 4 points5 points ago

My mom had to upgrade to plastic after too many broke on my ass and don't forget the shoes or cleats.

[–]Dat_Wizard 4 points5 points ago

My mom called her wooden spoon "Mr. Manners"

[–]el3kt2ik 6 points7 points ago

Ah the "love paddle".

[–]Johnny_Hooker 10 points11 points ago

My mom used to immediately confiscate these from my sister and I when we got home from a birthday party.

She'd hold it up with the ball dangling from the paddle, and just cut the string right at the base of the paddle, then place it on top of the fridge and give us that telling "now you know you're getting beat if I walk towards the fridge" stare.

I hated getting those in birthday party gift bags. I don't know if all the parents had reached a secret agreement to help arm each other against their children, or if everyone else's parents didn't take joy in psychological warfare with their children.

[–]Fallingdamage 3 points4 points ago

If you remember these, your childhood was probably not that awesome.

...and you also probably didnt throw a tantrum when your parents wouldn't buy you an iPhone.

[–]MathewMurdock 2 points3 points ago

Don't forget about the bare hand. That shit hurts. Especially when your dad was a boxer.

[–]StarChow 3 points4 points ago

[–]tracklete95 3 points4 points ago

God forbid if you tried grabbing the belt

[–]SaffaLad 2 points3 points ago

Grew up in South Africa in the '80s. Mom never hit me, but used the "when your dad gets home..." trick. Then after dinner I'd have to go wait in the "buitekamer" (outside store room) and my dad would belt my arse where my mom couldn't hear it. This probably started when I was about 7 or 8 (just one or two light licks), and continued right up to me leaving for university when I was 18, by which time it would be 20 or 30 on the bare (when I was about 15 I tried wearing about 5 sets of underwear and lied about it when asked, a lie I regretted that night (spanking of my LIFE) and for 3 years after due to the newly-instituted bare-arse rule). Didn't happen often, but it sure kept me in line!

"Lyfstraf" (corporal punishment) was just part of life for boys back then and we all got it, and never thought to complain. I think it only became illegal in schools in the late '90s! So, in my youth, I was spanked with

  • belt (by my dad)

  • wooden paddle (by various teachers)

  • wooden paddle with holes in (by one or two teachers including the rugby coach whom I will run over with my car if I encounter him today -that man was a sadist)

  • a cane by two teachers, but the traditional "six of the best" was reserved for repeat offenders and I never experienced that although it looked absolutely hellish. Boys where always very proud of their "cuts" ;-)

  • a cricket bat as part of an initiation ceremony at university that left me so bruised I had to sleep on my stomach for a week and couldn't go to class.

  • regular beatings with shoes and flip-flops in "koshuis" (a dorm) at university in what was called a "tekkiepartie" (sneaker party) or "bakoond" (baking oven) which was basically all the seniors lined up holding flip-flops or sneakers (some with a bar of soap stuffed in front) and then you had to crawl on your hands and knees under their legs while the swats rain down. It was a favourite to punish first years for wrongdoing or just generally being "slapgat" (no direct translation but in context meant not being a team player). If you were lucky you could keep your clothes on, but more often than not we were instructed to take our shirts off (they got in the way) lower our trousers and pants (SA used to be British colony - trousers!) to our knees which I used to think was to make it more painful and difficult to crawl fast. When I became a senior I learned the real reason was to keep an eye on how bruised the poor guys were getting so you could ease off on anyone who looked too raw. It was brutal but there was an honour code and everyone got the same - if a senior beat a first year too bad he could suffer a disciplinary from the "HK" (house committee) which often included the indignity of having to take part in the next tekkieparty like a first-year, which was the ultimate humiliation for a senior.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I got the flyswatter or hairbrush on bare cheeks.

[–]DIRTY_CRAPPED_BRIEFS 2 points3 points ago

belt ;(