all 163 comments

[–]Aquagoat 48 points49 points ago

I'd love to hear his explanation if the cops ever picked him up, with 10 baggies of dried cum powder.

[–]Sublime7870 27 points28 points ago

Holy shit haha. I'd rather be caught with cocaine than dried cum powder

[–]ZexCo 57 points58 points ago

I think I'd still rather be caught with dried cum powder.

Possibly one of the weirdest things I've ever typed

[–]8biticon 8 points9 points ago

[–]freeogy 11 points12 points ago

Really? Because one is just embarrassing and one is a felony.

[–]JohnMcGurk 5 points6 points ago

Pretty sure if you told the cops you were trying to get people to unknowingly snort your dried up knuckle children it would be more than just embarrassing.

[–]gentlemandinosaur 1 point2 points ago

Doesn't matter. Where is there the coercion? Dropping them on the ground without implicit instruction or proof of coercion?

I would love to see this law.

[–]Alexxandros -1 points0 points ago

Just because there is no coercion involved doesn't mean government won't make it illegal. Cocaine for instance...

[–]freeogy 0 points1 point ago

As a former cocaine addict, I can say without hesitation that cocaine most definitely deserves to be a controlled substance.

[–]Alexxandros 0 points1 point ago

No it doesn't. Putting people in jail for taking a substance on their own is totally immoral. Is cocaine a distractive and terrible drug? Yes. But we aren't going to be saving lives by turning addicts into criminals. Once people become criminals it becomes significantly harder for them to enter into society again. Thus, even after leaving prison, people are forced back into the criminal world.

[–]freeogy 0 points1 point ago

I'm not going to argue what is and isn't good for cocaine addicts with somebody who has never been addicted to cocaine.

[–]Alexxandros 0 points1 point ago

I believe cocaine is a personal choice and its none of the governments business what you do with your life. Besides everything I said is true. Criminals find it much tougher to re-enter the workplace. The drug crime is on their record forever. Even if they attend rehab and clean themselves up they are still stuck with their past mistakes. All the statistics show the drug war is more destructive than the drug itself.

But ultimately its about whether or not people get to make choices for themselves. I believe cocaine, while a terrible drug, is one of those choices.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Actually they could both be felonious.

[–]BuckeyeBentley 4 points5 points ago

Only if you admit to what you're doing with them.

[–]gentlemandinosaur 3 points4 points ago

NO.

Well, unless littering is a felony in your state. Dropping them on the ground is not selling drugs. So, I would like to see the state that could charge someone for a felony for dropping them on the ground with no instruction to pick them up and snort them. There is NO coercion in anyway.

Please. I would love to be wrong.

[–]ArbitraryIndigo 1 point2 points ago

Some places have laws against having things that look like drugs.

[–]aJarofDirt 1 point2 points ago

Do they have cops stationed outside every shop that sells flour?

[–]ArbitraryIndigo 1 point2 points ago

It's alright if it's packaged as flour, but you could get in trouble if it's in a plastic bag.

Here's South Carolina's law (it's the first one I found on Google):

SECTION 44-53-390. Prohibited acts C; penalties.

(a) It is unlawful for a person knowingly or intentionally to:

...

(6) distribute or deliver a noncontrolled substance or an imitation controlled substance:

(A) with the expressed or implied representation that the substance is a narcotic or nonnarcotic controlled substance, or with the expressed or implied representation that the substance is of such nature or appearance that the recipient of the distribution or delivery will be able to dispose of the substance as a controlled substance;

(B) when the physical appearance of the finished product is substantially similar to a specific controlled substance, or if in a tablet or capsule dosage form as a finished product it is similar in color, shape, and size to any controlled substances' dosage form, or its finished dosage form has similar, but not necessarily identical, markings on each dosage unit as any controlled substances' dosage form, or if its finished dosage form container bears similar, but not necessarily identical, markings or printed material as any controlled substances which is commercially manufactured and commercially packaged by a manufacturer or repackager registered under the provisions of Title 21, Section 823 of the United States Code. In any prosecution for unlawful delivery of a noncontrolled substance, it is no defense that the accused believed the noncontrolled substance to actually be a controlled substance.

[–]freeogy 0 points1 point ago

But they are not felonies. Having a law against something doesn't make it a felony. There are laws against loitering, but you won't go to prison.

EDIT: Also, the law you later reference specifically says "distribute or deliver". If you drop something on the ground, there is no proof of intent. It is all circumstantial. It is more likely you'd be charged with lewd conduct.

[–]SkaveRat 0 points1 point ago

why?

[–]mustfndnewname 0 points1 point ago

why?

[–]dontbthatguy 109 points110 points ago

Soon on yahoo: " I think I snorted cum, can I get pregnant??? "

[–]Kempiet 14 points15 points ago

YESS

[–]Kubaker1 43 points44 points ago

THEN WHO WAS BABBY?!

[–]guitartechie 7 points8 points ago

EL BEBE NO ES MIO

[–]c3llist9 5 points6 points ago

BEBÉ; MÍO

[–]Maester_Hodor 4 points5 points ago

HOW IS BABBY FORMED?

[–]mont94 1 point2 points ago

nothing yet.

[–]Hohenems 31 points32 points ago

Assuming this ever happens (ed)... Someone snorts or tastes it, then happens to get killed later that night. Dude has his DNA all up inside victim.

Good luck trying to explain your way out of that one.

[–]alcogeoholic 19 points20 points ago

Dear writers of Law & Order SVU...

[–]pope_fundy 11 points12 points ago

I never thought it would happen to me, but...

[–]b0w3n 4 points5 points ago

Sorry officer, he paid me to let me stick my dick up his nose... I don't know what happened after that.

[–]jacqs92 136 points137 points ago

What. The. Fuck.

[–]Kubaker1 44 points45 points ago

It's 4chan. "Nothing is to be believed."

EDIT: "The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

[–]GoogleTrypophobia 12 points13 points ago

You mean internet. Why do people take reddit stories seriously? I sure as hell don't know.

[–]Kubaker1 7 points8 points ago

Well, that particular site is 4Chan /b/, and that's the motto at the top of the page. (paraphrased, I think.) But yeah, People always want to believe the crazy stories, I still wonder about that jolly rancher story.

Edit: It auto-capitalized B, DARN IT!

[–]atrociousxcracka 3 points4 points ago

jolly rancher story?...link?

[–]laur3n 19 points20 points ago

no.

[–]atrociousxcracka 0 points1 point ago

sad :(

[–]laur3n 9 points10 points ago

It won't make you happier to read this... but here it goes.

[–]pwnyoudedinface 7 points8 points ago

That was one of the grossest things I've read. Ever.

[–]Tebasaki 1 point2 points ago

I had to stop. It ruined me forever ever.

[–]juddnasty 0 points1 point ago

I had just blocked this out of my mind! Dammit.

[–]Look_At_That_OMGWTF 0 points1 point ago

Reading that while eating a jolly rancher makes the whole experience worse.

[–]drawingdead0 0 points1 point ago

I've heard this story many a time. I've heard it with starburst, butterscotch, lemon drops. Herpes (not sure if that's science though).

[–]atrociousxcracka 0 points1 point ago

Wow ummm now I don't know if I want to click that link :/

[–]kevlo 10 points11 points ago

Don't be a puss, just do it.

[–]Rampant_Durandal 0 points1 point ago

How'd it go?

[–]skymanj 5 points6 points ago

You should be thankful. It's one of those things you can never un-read.

[–]zsupreme 0 points1 point ago

right before lunch

[–]A_Rolling_Baneling 1 point2 points ago

It's for your own good.

[–]IntenseGreatness 1 point2 points ago

Be glad noone wants to link it.

[–]pigmonkey2829 0 points1 point ago

Hmmm.... Thinking about it. I save it for r/politics but I might just for the sake of this

[–]therealjoekony 0 points1 point ago

Is the cum box story fake, too? Please say yes.

[–]PackmanKnight 0 points1 point ago

what the fuck is /B/?

[–]vertigo1083 0 points1 point ago

The baggies did it for me. I'm sold.

[–]BurntTheToast -1 points0 points ago

Timestamp or GTFO.

[–]bigskykb 12 points13 points ago

indeed... belongs in r/wtf

[–]jader1 1 point2 points ago

it really does not.

[–]riggsinator 9 points10 points ago

Not quite to the level of the cum box guy.

[–]Reygis 2 points3 points ago

Do elaborate.

[–]atafies 6 points7 points ago

DON'T---

Ahh, too late, it's been linked.

[–]thenightman99 5 points6 points ago

Hold on, let me grab a bag of Doritoes to munch on while I read this story.

[–]Shit_Tsunami 1 point2 points ago

No,no,no,and no.

[–]Wethequeens13 0 points1 point ago

Whelp, I'm going to go throw up. Thanks for bringing back the nightmares!

[–]ndgonz 0 points1 point ago

I remember reading that story months ago and was just like wtf, so curious me wondered if there was ever an update to that guy... His box now has mold

[–]Coney_Island_Hentai 0 points1 point ago

Was originally from 4chan, or there are two people out there with cum boxes.

I remember seeing on on 4chan before that ask reddit.

[–]mrmateo 48 points49 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Partiers beware. 26coms 259pts 1mo WTF
Why not to do drugs. 18coms 189pts 1mo WTF
THE [****]ITTY [*] [*]? 112coms 712pts 2mos WTF
Don't do drugs...[X-Post from r/4chan] 237coms 1282pts 2mos funny
Don't do drugs... 207coms 2143pts 2mos 4chan

[–]Cynikal818 14 points15 points ago

...you know...when I accidentally repost something I get cussed out and it gets buried.

when other people do it...upvote attack.

I guess I still don't understand this place.

[–]vulpiter1 34 points35 points ago

We just hate you specifically

[–]Cynikal818 19 points20 points ago

awwww just like Daddy

[–]apollo84 3 points4 points ago

same for me, i even had someone repost an original picture i put up my self and he got upvoted like a mad man while i had 10 or 20 upvotes.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Cynikal818 0 points1 point ago

That much Karma? Dude, I don't give a fuck about imaginary internet points. I like sharing shit I find (usually from Stumbledupon)

Who cussed me out? I'm guessing you haven't been on Reddit much. Go post an obvious repost...try a couple...see how quick you make friends.

Now calm the fuck down kid...it's too early for that hostility...especially some stranger on the internet.

(and the Karma you're even talking about is from comments dude, not posts. Chill the fuck out.)

[–]mrmateo -2 points-1 points ago

then why are complaining about not getting upvotes when other people are?

[–]Cynikal818 -1 points0 points ago

What? Making an observation and complaining are 2 different things.

"What the fuck reddit, le moi posted this gem last week and didn't get any upbotes...I'm so fuuuuwious" <---complaint

what I did was make an observation that I'm sure others have witnessed too.

Plus...aren't you the one notifying people that this is a repost? I'm not following your logic here. Thankfully, I'm over this and don't really give a fuck.

Now, as a matter of edicate...do I give you the crotch or the ass, while I make my way out of this thread...

[–]Torlen 1 point2 points ago

Etiquette. You're a bit of a douche. Just an observation I'm sure others have witnessed too.

[–]Cynikal818 -1 points0 points ago

I'm a douche for making an observation? Ok dude.

[–]Torlen 0 points1 point ago

Just the general attitude. Douche may be the wrong word. You seem like a very angry person.

[–]Cynikal818 -1 points0 points ago

Angry? Nah man...I was getting attacked, so I responded. I thought I was pretty civil. I tend to cuss when I talk. Oh well man, have a good day.

[–]leahyrain 0 points1 point ago

Read reddiquitte people... It says dont call out reposts, not everyone has seen this, like me, and to just downvote it.

[–]JakeCameraAction -2 points-1 points ago

You censor the word Fuck?

[–]DownvotingRoman_ -2 points-1 points ago

Same thing happens when I post original content. Reddit is a crapshoot.

[–]boyann 14 points15 points ago

My god that is both genius and fucking horrible at the same time.

[–]frotc914 2 points3 points ago

my first thought: Tyler Durden lives.

[–]frontpagechecker 21 points22 points ago

From 4chan

About masturbation

95% likelihood that it's fake

About Ron Paul

I'm thinking... Front page.

[–]whaIe 6 points7 points ago

You forgot the most important one

Repost

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]viper9172 17 points18 points ago

Well, you were wrong.

[–]etree -4 points-3 points ago

From 4chan

About masturbation

95% likelihood that it's fake

About Ron Paul

I'm thinking... Front page.

[–]cahollow 5 points6 points ago

Not to mention it doesn't usually dry white

[–]opaque22 2 points3 points ago

better than developing a coke addiction.

[–]ethereal_one 6 points7 points ago

That would smell absolutely foul. I call bullshit.

[–]villvin 11 points12 points ago

So your dried cum smells that bad? Better go eat a pineapple!

[–]ethereal_one 11 points12 points ago

Only if you'll be my semen-scent judge after I purchase said pineapple!

[–]villvin 0 points1 point ago

I'd rather eat vegetables than tasting your cum, thank you.

[–]ethereal_one 0 points1 point ago

Woah, baby. Don't move so fast. I only said sniff it, not taste it. I ain't no trollop!

[–]Berty_Strange 2 points3 points ago

Yeah but what if you get searched at the club? "Oh don't worry guys, it's not drugs, it's just powdered cum."

[–]LeNordique 2 points3 points ago

Best anti-drug campaign, ever!

[–]Ghostwolf765 1 point2 points ago

This belongs in WTF so badly...lol

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Kubaker1 0 points1 point ago

Bamford?

[–]Scraw 0 points1 point ago

Don't remember her name, but Dee from IASiP.

[–]Mishap89 1 point2 points ago

REPOST. GO AWAAAAAY.

[–]DivineMadness 1 point2 points ago

I really don't get why someone would do this, they wouldn't even be able to see the reaction on the peoples face. So either this guy is a first class asshole or its fake.

[–]Scraw 4 points5 points ago

I would also refer you to the asspennies sketch from Upright Citizens Brigade.

[–]gigakain 1 point2 points ago

I would taste it first...

[–]Scraw 0 points1 point ago

Better yet: Avoid Nightclubs.

[–]Pykoh 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of the cumbox.

[–]southdubify -1 points0 points ago

This a repost i saw this 2 weeks ago

[–]RickyHitler 0 points1 point ago

I knew this would happen one day. As soon as I started picking up random baggies in clubs, I said to myself "one day you're gonna do this, and it's gonna be cum instead of drugs".

[–]Devon302 0 points1 point ago

Cumbox on the go!

[–]Dovesongz 0 points1 point ago

I ALMOST FORGOT THAT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

[–]DarkKnight77 0 points1 point ago

First cum box....now cum bags....where does it end???

[–]wiithepiiple 0 points1 point ago

Honestly, if I snorted a random bag of white powder, there's much worse things that could happen then getting dried cum in my nose.

[–]SietchTabr 1 point2 points ago

That's not funny. That is WTF. Stop getting them reversed.

[–]Illah 0 points1 point ago

If you're picking up random bags and snorting/smoking the contents, odds are dried cum is far from the worst thing you've put inside yourself.

[–]Jolu- 0 points1 point ago

What does MFW stand for?

[–]jebubu 0 points1 point ago

[–]nauticus1 0 points1 point ago

mfw I have no face.

[–]judehoffman 0 points1 point ago

This is really going to me me rethink doing drugs I found off the street.

[–]reputably26 0 points1 point ago

I'm thinking... Front page.

[–]Dubbys 0 points1 point ago

what is snorting cum powder gets you high?

[–]LexicalFap 0 points1 point ago

Only on 4chan.

[–]BlackSheep47 0 points1 point ago

I believe this belongs in r/WTF. Also, what the fuck!?

[–]B_S_O_D 0 points1 point ago

I'll never understand 4chan's sense of humor.

[–]darling1045 0 points1 point ago

Ugh I feel so sick now.

[–]ScramDammity 0 points1 point ago

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

[–]joyco66 0 points1 point ago

anyone who picks up a bag of powder in a bar and snorts it without knowing what it is deserves everything they get. could be fucking Ajax or Borax or who the fuck knows.

[–]Black_Books 0 points1 point ago

maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I don't think I've ever had cum turn into a white powder.

[–]athehelm 0 points1 point ago

i get it now.. when i first joined reddit i thought "what reposts?!?" now:"fuck. repost. down vote for you"

that whole asking for porn thing in a call of duty post thing is really old now.. down vote me and all you'll be proving is you know its true.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

LPT:

[–]FullmetalAthiest 0 points1 point ago

Hahahahahaha.

[–]best_policy -2 points-1 points ago

Why?

No honestly, why...?

[–]Ilovewub 0 points1 point ago

Suprised nobody saw that this is a repost.

[–]badgarok725 1 point2 points ago

I guess people are dumb enough to pick up random drugs at a club and snort them

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

[–]simlew86 -1 points0 points ago

Some men just want to watch the world burn

[–]I_am_THE_GRAPIST 6 points7 points ago

Nah, anyone dumb enough to snort random shit they find on the ground deserve a nose full of powdered semen.

[–]Scraw 0 points1 point ago

They would be fortunate if that's all it was.

Seen Pulp Fiction lately?

[–]simlew86 0 points1 point ago

Very true...I don't see why anyone would make the effort to evenly distribute their crusty man juice into little baggies though.

[–]Dave_Vai -2 points-1 points ago

UK redditor, what the fuck is glad wrap?

[–]Dave_Vai -1 points0 points ago

I like when people do this because you know it's taken them longer than typing, it's plastic wrap, yet, you know they have that smug smile on their face as if they've got one over on you. (Chuck, only you will end up seeing this and I'll get down voted I know, but, that's life, thanks for making googling easy for me today).

[–]jChuck 0 points1 point ago

No problem buddy. Only took me a few keystrokes ;)

[–]Hoho607 0 points1 point ago

I saw this too...

Explaining something that is easy to google is like letting a stranger jump in front of you in the que. It's really no big deal, it's not much of a hassle to you, but you need to tell these people that they're bad, what they're doing is wrong.

TL;DR: BAD PUPPY!

[–]Dave_Vai 1 point2 points ago

Let me defend my actions then. If I google that and read about it on wiki I will no doubt start clicking blue links and will get side tracked for half an hour. If someone just tells me it is plastic wrap, my curiosity is settled and I've not procrastinated when I be proactive.

[–]Hoho607 1 point2 points ago

Ahh, so you're a very very very bad puppy.

[–]ThaMortal -1 points0 points ago

R-R-R-R-R-R-R-REPOST.

[–]jschnipko -4 points-3 points ago

i cant finish eating my food... you sick bastard

[–]Stick314 -1 points0 points ago

Gotta love 4chan. I'd go there more if often if I wasn't afraid of all the child porn.

[–]clockworkgirl21 1 point2 points ago

I've never encountered child porn on 4chan, personally.

[–]Stick314 0 points1 point ago

Well that's good, it's been a while since I've been to 4chan, perhaps I'll head back and check it out.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

[–]hfdjklhsdkjlhfs -4 points-3 points ago

why is this not r/wtf??