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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 213

[–]viruskit 113 points114 points ago

Why would you do that? Why would anyone want to do that?

[–]relaxed_meme[S] 75 points76 points ago

CBT (Cock Ball Torture) Fetish.
This is pretty tame compared to the people that use knives/needles/flames etc

[–]OODanK 66 points67 points ago

Thanks for not backing that statement up with more mutilated penis pics!

[–]BulletBilll 19 points20 points ago

Can't tell if you're being sarcastic and are disappointed, or being sincere.

[–]OODanK 19 points20 points ago

Sincere for sure! Mangled cocks are not my favorite thing to see although it is truly WTF!

[–]BulletBilll 2 points3 points ago

Its just that exclamation point, made me read it with a sarcastic twist.

[–]seergod 5 points6 points ago

Upvote for "mangled cocks"

[–]machshadow 2 points3 points ago

feels good man.

[–]I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA 1 point2 points ago

My left just got a sharp pain and tried to retract into my stomach.

[–]Dueada 2 points3 points ago

I'm sure you have seen worse, I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA.

[–]daddys_lil_soldier 0 points1 point ago

I appreciate the lack of extra pics. Sincerely. Thank you.

[–]Kilsimiv 2 points3 points ago

Was that ... ironically sincere?

[–]CitizenPremier 5 points6 points ago

Uh, is it really that tame? Looks like he completely destroyed his cock. Having a worthless cock hanging between your legs isn't that different from cutting it off.

[–]IAmGoingToFuckThat 4 points5 points ago

Last time I saw this posted, someone said that he cut his penis off after it was flattened.

[–]NauticalReagan 12 points13 points ago

I can't, I just can't take your comment seriously with that name....

[–]throwyouridolsaway 1 point2 points ago

Since you seem to know about the subject, maybe you can explain this fetish to me. Once someone essentially destroys their genitals, what's left? How can you gain a fetish that's a one time use thing?

[–]aint_no_fag 0 points1 point ago

Sexuality does not take place in the penis, you do not even need a penis for autoerotic orgasms. For the latter, no physical stimulation is required.

[–]Canvasch -1 points0 points ago

But needles and flames seem less likely to cause permanent damage, like this.

[–]Toodlez 44 points45 points ago

I don't think you're terribly familiar with needles or flame... or fetishists.

[–]Canvasch 6 points7 points ago

Well do it right and you wont char your dick into a scabby mess, but flattening your dick this much looks like it might cause some serious damage.

[–]Funkhauzer 0 points1 point ago

Serious damage is what these guys go for.

[–]ineedateam1 1 point2 points ago

but how.... I have to see it withouyt the glass... is it really that thin? .... wtf... how

[–]warpus 28 points29 points ago

His wife has a very narrow vagina.

[–]FaultyTowerz 85 points86 points ago

She's a total slot.

[–]Funkhauzer 6 points7 points ago

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP.

[–]iLiketrains131 1 point2 points ago

[–]BulletBilll 24 points25 points ago

He could give a papercut with his dick.

[–]RequiemStorm 1 point2 points ago

Ugh, no, please refrain from using dick and papercut in the same sentence...made me cringe 1000 times

[–]EnigmaticBanana 0 points1 point ago

Fuck you fuck you fuck you putting my penis in a safe until I'm 60

[–]InVultusSolis 10 points11 points ago

Rule 34.

[–]OldCrankyBastard 20 points21 points ago

Dumb older guy asks: What is rule 34?

[–]demetersstar 35 points36 points ago

"If it exists, there must be porn of it"

[–]OldCrankyBastard 12 points13 points ago

Thanks!

[–]EnigmaticBanana 1 point2 points ago

I read every single rule, no exceptions

[–]Traumahawk 0 points1 point ago

Damn straight there aren't.

[–]Subject_69 4 points5 points ago

Link for the lazy.

[–]AScholarlyGentleman 0 points1 point ago

First example I've seen: http://xkcd.com/305/

[–]ZombieCancer1996 2 points3 points ago

I think I actually saw this in those BME Pain Olympics videos. I still don't see why they would do it.

[–]viruskit 0 points1 point ago

I think the answers here surprise me more than the pic.

[–]meat_wagon_man1 0 points1 point ago

You should check out the pain Olympics sometime

[–]viruskit 0 points1 point ago

watched it a lot when i was younger and it didn't get a reaction out of me besides what i said above .

[–]GreatBigPig 52 points53 points ago

Now he can open locked doors without messing up his credit cards.

[–]dhicks3 91 points92 points ago

I know! It's Pseudoceros luteus!

Oh, wait, this isn't /r/species at all!

[–]Tnuff 11 points12 points ago

there is no fucking way you will get me to click that

[–]Bruce_Bruce 23 points24 points ago

It was a risky click, but it's just a sea creature.

[–]uioz 0 points1 point ago

A rather beautiful one, I think

[–]dhicks3 6 points7 points ago

What if I told you... it's just a hermaphrodite platyhelminth?

[–]dt74 1 point2 points ago

Was hoping I wasn't the only one whose first thought that was.

[–]justinm715 162 points163 points ago

This kills the penis.

[–]thugmonkey 50 points51 points ago

We've got a flat line over here.

[–]SquirtLikeABoss 12 points13 points ago

What is the source of this beautiful gif?

[–]Ironbird420 36 points37 points ago

Japan

[–]freetarh 2 points3 points ago

Here you go. http://www.efukt.com/2440_Oink_Oink_Suck_My_Dick_.html The gif starts around 3:40.

[–]stumpybubba 2 points3 points ago

Weirdest. Boner. Ever.

[–]freetarh 1 point2 points ago

I'm very glad you liked it!

[–]Funkhauzer 1 point2 points ago

It'd be weird if you didn't get one.

[–]Flantastic185 2 points3 points ago

Read his name...

[–]CaptainKrunch64 1 point2 points ago

Source?

[–]CatrickStrayze 27 points28 points ago

This man is clearly just trying his best to sympathize with his wife's flapjack titties.

[–]dyam 83 points84 points ago

Finally something that actually made me say "what the fuck" out loud.

[–]Thalaas 30 points31 points ago

I actually felt EVERY muscle in my body tense in fear.

[–]mortuusanima 1 point2 points ago

LOL This was the ONE WTF that I didn't say that out loud. I stared at it for like 10 mins! I'm fascinated!

[–]Livelifeloudly 46 points47 points ago

I am kinda curious as to what it will look like when he takes it out of this contraption....

[–]Don2k12 15 points16 points ago

He'll have one flat ol' willy, boy.

[–]billythepilgrim 0 points1 point ago

Tell ya' whut.

[–]CitizenPremier 2 points3 points ago

Ugh. Not much on /r/wtf makes me feel sick, but just thinking about that... I can't imagine what I would feel having a paper penis between my legs. So sad.

[–]elevatorbuttons 0 points1 point ago

Me too....

[–]bitcheslovedroids 1 point2 points ago

A flatworm

[–]Doctor_Candy 20 points21 points ago

Guess he got tired of having a dick.

[–]WhyNona 26 points27 points ago

I saw this and sat here cringing for about 3 minutes, and then I laughed at the thought of some kid proudly displaying a dick in his scrapbook. Ahahaha.

[–]momwithlupus 0 points1 point ago

aaaaaahahahahaha thanks. thank you. this was the soul bleach i needed.

[–]Funkhauzer 1 point2 points ago

You sir are gifted. Not many people would think about scrapbooking that.

[–]AdmiralQuackbar 64 points65 points ago

I absolutely 100% flat out refuse to believe that this is in real.

[–]OldCrankyBastard 103 points104 points ago

Heh heh. He said Flat out.

[–]Highlighter_Freedom 28 points29 points ago

I think you'd be hard pressed to find an alternate explanation.

[–]wolfincommand 1 point2 points ago

Well that puts me in a bit of a bind.

[–]Funkhauzer 0 points1 point ago

NO MORE PUNS ALLOWED.

[–]AVeryKindPerson 0 points1 point ago

You have to examine the evidence closely to get a real grip on the situation.

[–]wolfincommand 2 points3 points ago

BUT THERE IS NO TIME! THIS IS A PRESSING MATTER!

[–]sadperson90 7 points8 points ago

it looks like someone has never seen r/spacedicks

[–]sentient66 9 points10 points ago

As a botanist, I am offended. This is not a flower press, they would totally not dry well in a plastic press with no holes. pfft.

Also this was posted a few times before, but alright.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

Looks like a tasty, smoked brisket.

Fuck, what has the internet done to me???

[–]AngryFapkin 7 points8 points ago

WHY

[–]mermaidrampage 1 point2 points ago

He was too busy wondering whether or not he could and never thought to think whether he should.

[–]SaltyDuke 13 points14 points ago

No matter how many times I see this I still cringe.

Then I show it to my wife...

[–]Aenrichus 6 points7 points ago

He got sick of 3D so he made it 2D.

[–]doyduhdoh 7 points8 points ago

You ever look at a plexiglass window and think "How could I, a normal man of average girth and length, have casual sex with that plexiglass?"

Now you know.

[–]The_Big_Nasty 15 points16 points ago

That's enough internet for me today.

[–]angelok91 23 points24 points ago

[–]zoahporre 0 points1 point ago

thank you, ive been searching for that gif :)

[–]WherelsMyMind 3 points4 points ago

[–]icomein3d 4 points5 points ago

Do you like the Pixies by any chance? (:

[–]WherelsMyMind 0 points1 point ago

yeah lol, was drawing a blank on a name, and was listening to this song lol

[–]HurricaneFan13 5 points6 points ago

What if he got aroused while he was like that?

[–]T0xicati0N 8 points9 points ago

Please, don't. Don't say something like this, okay? This is already terrible enough.

[–]HurricaneFan13 2 points3 points ago

You can't help but wonder though..

[–]T0xicati0N 3 points4 points ago

No, no, no! Stop doing that to my imagination!

[–]Lycist 6 points7 points ago

what if... he finished in there? ..... would it... spread out like liquid under those pieces of glass you use to observe things under a microscope?

[–]T0xicati0N 2 points3 points ago

Why are you guys doing this to me? This is torture. I will avoid reading any of your answers for eternity! But...I know...it will be like a train wreck... It's desastrous... But one can't stop looking at it...

[–]onlynameavailable 4 points5 points ago

I didn't even know this was possible to do 0.0

[–]Codeworks 1 point2 points ago

I actually sell these devices (or similar).

AMA.

[–]Funkhauzer 1 point2 points ago

How do you make money?

[–]Codeworks 1 point2 points ago

People love crushing their junk.

[–]quityosleanin 3 points4 points ago

WTF indeed.

[–]jnuts7 1 point2 points ago

[–]DauqsRetiol 2 points3 points ago

I remember reading a thread about this. Those who have done it say that it must be done very slowly. If it is done correctly, the penis should return to its original shape.

[–]linkinpark8474 2 points3 points ago

I enjoy the word 'should' in there

[–]McsTarget 1 point2 points ago

my penis shrank and hid from seeing that

[–]MrDoubleE 1 point2 points ago

WHY?!?!?!?!

[–]xDerivative 2 points3 points ago

[–]gwiz665 2 points3 points ago

He's preparing to fuck a flatfish.. it's not easy.

[–]poo-poo 1 point2 points ago

Does it hurt much?

[–]Ouizardus 11 points12 points ago

Buy a flowerpress and find out, for SCIENCE!

[–]eegit 0 points1 point ago

Dude? What the fuck?

[–]nicudeemus 0 points1 point ago

AAAAAAHHH

[–]isotretinon 1 point2 points ago

well, is there video of the process of this? just wondering if its real.

[–]IAmGoingToFuckThat 0 points1 point ago

I have heard that there is video of this, but nobody has ever been able to come up with said video.

[–]ThePizzadude -1 points0 points ago

Wow that must hurt like hell !

[–]DALAILAMADINGDONG 1 point2 points ago

ಠ_ಠ maybe I won't be so hasty to click in this subreddit

[–]Shiznips 0 points1 point ago

Love how theres a couple of holes drilled previous

[–]Cyndermissany 0 points1 point ago

Bit like a mammogram really, well except for the cock.

[–]Inktastic 0 points1 point ago

I've seen my share of CBT, but MOTHER OF GOD HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???

[–]fbikids123 1 point2 points ago

This belongs here and on r/spacedicks

[–]Trinexx56 1 point2 points ago

This has existed at flatdick.com for ages. Not complaining about it being old, just sharing.

[–]9555095 1 point2 points ago

suck this bookmark!

[–]chikinnmaltliqor 1 point2 points ago

...and all of Reddit cringed at once.

[–]salvu667 0 points1 point ago

NOPE

[–]ReetKever 1 point2 points ago

He just wants to be a beaver :(

[–]weaver2109 0 points1 point ago

Just stay calm and think about Renee Zelweger, we don't need that thing to break.

[–]one_for_my_husband 0 points1 point ago

[–]weaver2109 0 points1 point ago

Family Guy reference.

[–]one_for_my_husband 0 points1 point ago

Fair 'nough. I wouldn't know.

[–]HeyPatWhatsUp 0 points1 point ago

Why...WHY!

[–]remembername 0 points1 point ago

WHAT THE HELL MAN!

[–]Dinahmoe -1 points0 points ago

Repost whateva. But all I can think of is turning on the faucet, maybe a spritz of ice water.

[–]mithra62 -1 points0 points ago

No!

[–]WheresUrHeadAt 0 points1 point ago

WHY?!?!?!?! WHYYYYY????

[–]eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 0 points1 point ago

AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–]twoodymc 0 points1 point ago

i swear the guy that did this did an ama

[–]x75tiger75x 0 points1 point ago

enough internet for me today

[–]panicphan420 0 points1 point ago

wtf is wrong with people

[–]ricas77 0 points1 point ago

WHY????

[–]waraw 0 points1 point ago

WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHYYYYYY would someone do this to themselves

[–]PGH_Snake 1 point2 points ago

I'm so glad I'm normal.

[–]Whyarentyoumadbro 0 points1 point ago

Classic Wtf

[–]dsldrummer1 0 points1 point ago

Mother of god. Why?

[–]lurxxor 0 points1 point ago

Why did i have to click on that?!?

[–]HaroldEarles 0 points1 point ago

Shouldn't it just pop like a zit eventually?

[–]jcrna 0 points1 point ago

I think there's a screw loose.

[–]ExplodingUnicorns 0 points1 point ago

... Do you put something like that on display afterward?

[–]dno_bot -1 points0 points ago

how many times is this going to make it to the front page?

[–]RydotGuy 0 points1 point ago

NoooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!

[–]snarkdiva 1 point2 points ago

And now you all know what a mammogram feels like! Carry on...

[–]titations -1 points0 points ago

damn it...how many more times am I going to see this pic? It seems like it just pops up every other day

[–]Mr_Mimiseku 0 points1 point ago

This made me inhale loudly, and exhale loudly.

[–]normalboy 0 points1 point ago

This is how you escape 3dpd. He can finally mate with his waifu.

[–]Funkhauzer 0 points1 point ago

IT CAN DO THAT????????????????????

[–]Tacticalchutney 0 points1 point ago

Die....

[–]jk01 0 points1 point ago

Ok so my testicles just retracted into my stomach, what do?

[–]CatoDarpa -1 points0 points ago

downvoted for being posted 657 times in the last few weeks.

[–]sobeach 0 points1 point ago

How is this even possible?

[–]lemonhead0607 -1 points0 points ago

This has been posted to WTF like 10 fucking times...

[–]SekondaH 2 points3 points ago

Daily browser for 14 months, seen it never.

[–]asminapira -1 points0 points ago

The repost is strong with this one.

[–]PNut_Buttr_Panda -1 points0 points ago

Why do people keep posting this?! God damnit!!

[–]asushiroll -1 points0 points ago

seen this so many times but it still makes me cringe

[–]Might_Feel_a_Pinch 0 points1 point ago

Since the BME Pain Olympics, I thought I had seen everything you could do to mutilate a dick.

Congratulations.

[–]makin_teh_bacons 0 points1 point ago

Saw that on space dicks when I first went there. Also saw it the last time I went there.

[–]DrGentlemanPhD 0 points1 point ago

I like some powdered sugar and maple syrup when I have pancocks.

[–]Toke_On_420 1 point2 points ago

I think that I'm through with /r/WTF for a while.....

[–]captainfluffybunny 0 points1 point ago

Have there been any origami penis jokes yet?

[–]skullbeats 0 points1 point ago

Took me a while to figure out what was happening...

[–]cccpmachacker 0 points1 point ago

Might I ask HOW?! Seriously I don't even

[–]Pinkiepylon 0 points1 point ago

No. No. No. No*G6

[–]n_reineke 0 points1 point ago

I hope it died and he had to have his surgically removed afterwards. Fucks like that don't deserve a penis....

[–]Hason_ 0 points1 point ago

this is some bme pain olympics shit.

[–]I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA 0 points1 point ago

Hey guys.

Think his urethra crunched?

cringe

[–]flinncheez 0 points1 point ago

Mushroom stamp.

[–]Raymond_Carver -1 points0 points ago

Enough with the /r/spacedicks in /r/wtf already.

[–]pumpmar -1 points0 points ago

oh god why. he is like going to have to use a catheter or something for the rest of his life

[–]osta2501 -1 points0 points ago

Shopped. Thanks for playing.

[–]kstormy 0 points1 point ago

If only it would stay like that I wouldn't need to have a credit card on me to open locked doors anymore.

[–]TheRubberHoudini 0 points1 point ago

Does this hurt? I would assume so i kind of want to try it just out of curiosity.

[–]IBorderHop 0 points1 point ago

This is actually quite cool

[–]Genjima 0 points1 point ago

Well that's an interesting approach to... getting your dick fucked?

[–]majorcusack 0 points1 point ago

You've been here for at least six months and you repost this? R/wtf deserves better than you.

[–]Sircumalot89 0 points1 point ago

WHY!?

[–]kcinaz 0 points1 point ago

Jeez! That seriously "IS" WTF!

[–]Kilsimiv 0 points1 point ago

This kills the penis.

[–]blueblondebob 0 points1 point ago

I don't see why you'd be needing my finger.

[–]FlufyMufinz 0 points1 point ago

that would suck if he got a boner

[–]derpderpherpderp 0 points1 point ago

thats enough internet for today

[–]ninjaTIMEjumper 0 points1 point ago

My respons " Na Na A, why?"

[–]Wiitard 2 points3 points ago

Get your spacedicks off my WTF.

[–]chunck55 1 point2 points ago

You sick bastard!