When my husband suggest anal. . . : funny

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[+]chknh8r comment score below threshold (22 children)

[–]bobbieluvsya 9 points10 points11 points 1 day ago

Let's say I'm dating a guy and I suddenly realize I can only get off by masturbating while punching him in the balls. Is it unfair of him to say no? Of course not! It's uncomfortable and painful for him. If I continue to press the point, then I'm being a dick in that situation. Sex should be enjoyable for all participants, whether it's via actual physical pleasure or through the joy of pleasing your partner. When the discomfort or pain outweighs the want to make someone happy, there's a problem.

Also, it's not like OP completely cut off sexual activities or anything like that. It's just one thing, and having limits is fine. It doesn't make you any less of a good partner. And if having anal is so essential to a relationship for you, maybe you ought to see how your partner feels about it before settling down.

[–]Soup_bones 6 points7 points8 points 1 day ago

[–]bobbieluvsya 3 points4 points5 points 1 day ago

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[–]bobbieluvsya 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago

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[–]chknh8r -2 points-1 points0 points 1 day ago*

for your example given. everyone is different and there is man out there for you that enjoys having his nuts pounded so put on your black dress and get to the bars.

Women get hit on at a very early age. By the time they get married they have 100's if not 1000's of attempts by men to have sex with them. Women I am sure are over it. To enter into a legally binding agreement to only have sex with the 1 person the woman is comfortable with is a godsend for them because now they get a ring.

The ring itself is not important the ring acts as an outgoing message. I am taken leave me alone. Thats the message men(the good guys) see who actually respect her enough to not go hit on her because she is married. The men(the bad boys) who see that ring as a chance to get some sex from a woman who cannot pressure them into a commited relationship because she is on one.

The cliches being tossed around that women love men who are bad for them is only enforced by the idea of marriage because now at this point only an asshole of a man would continue to try and bed a woman with a ring on her finger.

Here is what i said earlier:

if that woman will not give up the butt or give a BJ or anything that some women say is something that is not their thing then the man will go out and find someone who will because she is not giving anything back sexually speaking towards the compromise of only having relations with her and her alone.

I was speaking of any kind of sex. Not just anal. If a man has never had anal sex his whole life and he gets married and he feels comfortable enough to ask his life partner and she denies him forever that is wrong because that man has 0% chance of enacting out his fantasy with the women he loves she just isn't into it and compromise is out of the question it seems with most women.

Ladies ask yourself seriously would you date/marry a man who NEVER bought you flowers, candy, cards that say I love you, or never let you emotionalyl vent to him, or take you out on a movie date, or rub your feet when they are sore because it's simply not his thing and if he won't do it that woman will go out and find someone else who will.

Compromise means to give up a little to gain a little. If I am good man whom you as a woman want to marry because I am such a good man for all the other things I as a man do right for you the woman and the only bad thing I wanna do is stick my dick in your ass from time to time I would count my blessings as a woman and bend over considering there are men out there that would rather get punched in the balls and ruin their chances at producing children in this great marriage we have.

edit*added link at the beginning

[–]bobbieluvsya 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago

... wow. Seriously. Wow.

The ball-punching? I know that there are some men who are into it, but not every man is, and it's unfair of me to ask for it them blame him when it's beyond his limits. That doesn't mean he's being a dick, especially if the question never came up before.

You have an interesting idea of how women view marriage. It's not about making a meaningful statement of lifelong commitment or anything, it's getting a big shiny to show off and advertising the fact that you belong to someone else! For your information, it's not illegal for women to buy rings. I bought a cheap one once so I could wear it when going to a club with my friends, since I really don't like getting hit on. You know what happened? I got hit on the same amount. It's not the good guys who hit on women in public places when they're just trying to live their life. Good guys tend to respect people. And furthermore, I have no idea what this point had to do with anything.

If I've never punched a guy in the balls for my whole life and I get married and I feel comfortable enough to ask my husband and he denies me forever, is he being unreasonable for not wanting to get punched in the balls? Hell no! Those are his boundaries. Respecting boundaries is incredibly important in a relationship. If you care enough about something to set a firm boundary for whatever the reason and your partner acts like that doesn't matter for no reason but his own personal pleasure, that sends this giant message of "I GIVE NO SHITS ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK." It's incredibly insulting and rather worrying. And yes, sometimes boundaries are incompatible. I'd argue that being emotionally available is a lot more important than getting anal, though.

And that last paragraph... wow. If someone has a boundary, it is important to respect it. For me, and for most of the women I know, not respecting me and my boundaries is a huge deal-breaker. There are a million reasons people would not want to have anal sex, all of which should be respected, not brushed off as "well it's not a big deal." If it's a big enough deal for someone to have it completely off-limits, then you should respect that.

[–]chknh8r -2 points-1 points0 points 1 day ago*

I bought a cheap one once so I could wear it when going to a club with my friends, since I really don't like getting hit on. You know what happened? I got hit on the same amount. It's not the good guys who hit on women in public places when they're just trying to live their life. Good guys tend to respect people. And furthermore, I have no idea what this point had to do with anything

you bought a ring to be left alone. again I never said the ring itself was important the ring is a symbol. In swinger clubs single people where wristbands and married people do not. It's an outgoing message displayed the same way single hawiaan women wear a flower on their ear and taken women do not. A good man will see that message and not even bother starting a conversation because he knows the woman is spoken for.

if you think asking your wife for buttsex is crossing a line and I emphasize the word ASK. then you are gonna be a bad wife that will never compromise. If you never say yes then do not be alarmed when your husband does not want to go out of his way to do things he isn't comfortable with like buying tampons at a store or not getting sex at least once a week minimum.

I have seen women not want to give blowjobs. it's the same concept. her line has been drawn and the man better respect that or he gets nothing. in this regard the OP posted an image of tracy morgan saying NO, NO, NO HELL NO, NO NO. but her 1st response to a comment is

i do it sometimes

talk about mixed signals. how would a female react if they dated a man for a year or a few years and the anal sex topic never came up because that is one of those bridges that gets crossed when the comfort level of the relationship reaches a certain point. If the man did the right thing and just wanted to "talk" about having anal sex to see where the girls opinion was on the subject and she said "i will never ever try that, it's not my thing" would the man have the right to walk away from the relationship of a few years because he knows she will never make a compromise for his feelings and sexual desires? how many women would be blown away for him ending a deep relationship over sex? I would imagine it's the same feeling when a man is dumped for not buying her enough trinkets to show his affection or being dumped for not eating pussy the right way.

compromise is a tough thing to do for some people and the compromise for a woman to have a good man who stays home with her on the couch cuddling and taking care of all her needs whatever they may be then if that man wants a BJ, buttsex, punched in the balls, whatever will make him happy then his wife should be he 1st one offering. the same way if that wife wants a backrub and candlelight dinner her man better be the 1st one getting all that together for her because if the man is not emotional involved in the women you better believe she will not be a happy wife and will seek emotional connections elsewhere.

[–]bobbieluvsya 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago

[–]chknh8r -2 points-1 points0 points 1 day ago*

My idea of marriage back to the 50's? I never said women belong in the kitchen. I said a wife should be 1st woman ready to please her man the same way a man should be the 1st one to please his wife. thats equal, fair, and the opposite of 1950's marriage.

If anything you are propegating 1950's stereotype because you aren't listening to what the other person is actually saying and you happen to be a woman. If you think buying a box of tampons is no big deal then I would say buying a tube of lube for your asshole is also no big deal.

asking a woman for any kind of sex is not "pressuring" it's fucking asking. Most people ready for a compromise will accept a no when asking a question just as easy as accepting a yes with a condition attached to it. on the same token the person being asked the question should accept a response like "ok well i guess this is not going to work out between us because our opinions differ."

women want men who are honest and honesty comes with a price, you might not hear what you want to hear. here is some honesty for ya. a man makes sperm every day of his life. a woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have. Since the man is making new sperm everyday and if none of the old sperm is moved from the balls then we have a classic hoarder house. to much sperm and not enough balls. it can be very painful for men who do move old sperm from their balls in a timely manner because more is being every day against our will, it just happens. SO lets say your my wife and you give me sex once a week and when you have your period you just do not feel like giving anything up but i am not allowed to ask for a handjob, blowjob, anal sex, and i am not supposed to masturbate because some women also think that is wrong for married man to do because he has a wife now and most men look at porn to masturbate and porn will have other women besides their wife in teh video so this man because he compromised and got married to you now has to put himself thru discomfort because you are to good to take one up the butt, in the mouth, or whatever your sexual issues are and whatever is may be you just do not feel like doing because it's not your thing. there is no compromise there on your part and the man is left wanting.

[–]GracieAngel 26 points27 points28 points 2 days ago

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[–]Xabster 3 points4 points5 points 1 day ago

I don't see it so black and white honestly, but I agree on some level. Let's say a couple was married for 5 years and then one of them said "no more sex at all, ever". Now read chknh8r's post again and ignore the BJ/Butt part. You and I probably agree that trying to force/"convince against their own judgement" to do anal is wrong, but some people have strong urges for their fetishes and some people can't even get aroused by anything else than that fetish. chknh8r is saying that a guy will most likely move to a different relationship if he's not satisfied enough during sexy-times and for some people that means they gotta have some ass-sex.

I'm not that guy, but I understand that a lack of sexual satisfaction in a relationship is very destructive and that some people have very specific needs when it comes to sexual satisfaction.