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top 200 commentsshow all 212

[–]PressureCereal 245 points246 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]neuromonkey 22 points23 points ago

It's expensive to ship.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago

Because it's imported inside the ass of a mother fucking rainbow lizard dragon.

[–]neuromonkey 15 points16 points ago

And heavy.

[–]Hellzing 2 points3 points ago

HEAVY LIKE ALL THE SEXY BODY'S YOUR GONNA HAVE TO BEAT OFF (with a stick) AFTER YOU GET THIS!

[–]neuromonkey 1 point2 points ago

Yes.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]spamfinder9000 10 points11 points ago

SPAM... Links don't go to imgur but rather linkbucks.

  • Well that got deleted quick

[–]PendingPhysics 2 points3 points ago

^ Note: these are not imgur links

[–]N_Dimensions 2 points3 points ago

Just buy some Pepto-Bismol.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Cory1750 12 points13 points ago

I know people want to click this, but it's spam.

[–]Mrkiruru 15 points16 points ago

now i don't get to see the comment, curse you curiosity!!!!!!!

[–]Cory1750 14 points15 points ago

It was basically the same as YouTube spam. It's just a bot.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]blarg_dino 0 points1 point ago

Fucking curiosity...

[–]Cory1750 0 points1 point ago

alrighty...

[–]ScumDogMillionaires 8 points9 points ago

This might be the beginning of something terrible.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Also spam.

[–]Sockpockets 5 points6 points ago

Spam, anything by this user is spam.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I like spam but only ina can.

[–]Owl_Time 0 points1 point ago

Really? I find that stuff to be disgusting.

[–]Sockpockets 0 points1 point ago

If i wasn't on mobile id find a spam ina can pic and post it under all spam

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Dude find one and go to imgur.com it works great on phones.

[–]Sockpockets 0 points1 point ago

Nook tablet..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Should still work.

[–]EwokLova 1 point2 points ago

Alien blue automatically converts submitted pics to imgur. If you're a redditor that leaves the house.. Alien blue is a must.

[–]BigCheese678 0 points1 point ago

Yes, but Alien Blue fucking needs ios fucking 5

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Want to hear a secret? I have never had it

[–]hery41 29 points30 points ago

[–]ScomberomorusCavalla 92 points93 points ago

[–]didntVoteObama 12 points13 points ago

It hurt to read "common as, bro" on the first line. Otherwise hilarious read.

[–]Sir_Jeremiah 23 points24 points ago

It's Australian slang. Saying something is "cool as" means it's really cool.

[–]didntVoteObama 6 points7 points ago

TIL.

[–]Schnoor 2 points3 points ago

Had Australian exchange students staying with my friend's family every year and every time I hung out with them, the Aussie would say "That's cool as" and it bugged the shit out of me because my mind need something to relate it to. It fucking hurt me. Every. Damn. Year.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]didntVoteObama 1 point2 points ago

lolwot

[–]totoro11 -1 points0 points ago

I fail to see the relevancy. Also that's pretty horrible I hope you at least shared the pizza.

[–]xenthum 2 points3 points ago

He thinks we're at r/4chan, because this meme came from 4chan probably.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

I started laughing so hard I started coughing when I got to "the bitchmeat in a hydrogen bond"

[–]ride_tx 2 points3 points ago

I can't help but read all of these in Jay's voice from Clerks, etc. So good.

[–]black19 12 points13 points ago

That lasagna does look delicious

[–]Fantasticfatcat 9 points10 points ago

I think that's actually a dead seal

[–]Jobumva 36 points37 points ago

Jesus Christ Marie, they're minerals.

[–]Void23 9 points10 points ago

"serious bismuth" chuckle

[–]Tedsville 51 points52 points ago

[–]Gooberpatrol66 20 points21 points ago

I COULD READ THESE ALL DAY.

[–]Ryan_Firecrotch 4 points5 points ago

Someone please make a subreddit for this, like /r/FUCKYEAHITEMS

[–]solmaster 8 points9 points ago

[–]binaryechoes 3 points4 points ago

This has potential. Total of 3 posts, I'm subscribing.

[–]bigheavyshoe 1 point2 points ago

I plan on it.

[–]silvergill 2 points3 points ago

bahaha the last bullet point is hilarious... like the guy adding the text doesn't have any idea of how he took the photo

[–]PimpMasterGrand 0 points1 point ago

That font is kind of relaxing. At least use impact.

[–]theanswerisgrapes 23 points24 points ago

WTF IS WITH ALL THOSE LOWER CASE WORDS

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Since everything is in all caps I actually read the lowercase words in the voice of a polite British man. And now you are too.

[–]theanswerisgrapes 6 points7 points ago

i ain't even mad. PLUS NOW I CAN HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF

[–]Yoyo8 8 points9 points ago

THE LOUDER YOU ARE, PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO AGREE TO YOUR CRAZY SHIT YOU SAY! I THINK CATS ARE POINTLESS!

[–]firecrotch59 4 points5 points ago

NEEDS MORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Oh- and a little more COW BELL.

[–]BisforBM -5 points-4 points ago

SO LOUD! SO BRAVE!

[–]yellowpride 3 points4 points ago

Seems a bit superliminal.

[–]raivahn 6 points7 points ago

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man!

[–]Timisaghost 0 points1 point ago

Please tell me there's a sub for these

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I read all these in the voice of the jabooody dubs guy.

[–]shibblywibbly 1 point2 points ago

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

My favorite by far is the sticky buddy

[–]thetarm 1 point2 points ago

God, it's working incredibly well on me.

[–]rick2882 8 points9 points ago

[–]hubnester 5 points6 points ago

[–]rick2882 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for this. TIL it wasn't originally a song.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points ago

LOOK AT THIS THING. HERE ARE SOME SWEAR WORDS. HERE IS A VULGAR THING IT WILL DO. (EVEN THOUGH IT REALLY JUST SITS ON ROCKS). HERE ARE MORE SWEAR WORDS.

[–]Tezerel 61 points62 points ago

I feel so pumped just reading this.

[–]ino_on_the_int 1 point2 points ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one

[–]admiraljohn 47 points48 points ago

Freejump's guide to breakfast sludge is one of my favorites.

[–]KakariBlue 14 points15 points ago

Thanks for that link, I'd lost it and was starting to get low on testosterone.

[–]ChimpsAhoy 12 points13 points ago

Wow, that sounds really unappetizing but I am gonna try it anyway for the hell of it.

[–]Neadim 13 points14 points ago

You better deliver or ill be forced to use that awfully unoriginal gift with the skeleton

[–]Cairbear 9 points10 points ago

[–]SleepingOnMoonshine 6 points7 points ago

Someone please tell me if this is good.

[–]Orca- 10 points11 points ago

Just based on the ingredients, it sounds absolutely vile.

You should try it, for science, and then report back your findings.

[–]Murkantilism -4 points-3 points ago

I second this, SleepingOnMoonshine go forth and conquer in the name of science. The council has spoken.

[–]stillnotking 2 points3 points ago

Nothing containing instant coffee is good. Fundamental law of existence.

[–]S1d3w4yZ 1 point2 points ago

I might have to try this.

[–]DrFreshtacular 1 point2 points ago

Can we get a mod verification on this

[–]Scott_The_Phallas 8 points9 points ago

Sure he has...

[–]cbCode 19 points20 points ago

Where do you work?

[–]TheFunNamesAreTaken 14 points15 points ago

[–]be_lifted 24 points25 points ago

He will fuck you up

while remaining FAAABBBUUULOUS

[–]oregonblazer420 -2 points-1 points ago

Is he still fabulous while shitting in your mouth?

[–]MrJAPoe 2 points3 points ago

Why, yes. Yes he is.

[–]Jrodkin 1 point2 points ago

ARE YOU DULL? THE LIZARD IS ALWAYS FABULOUS.

[–]admiraljohn 8 points9 points ago

2am Chili is another good one.

[–]Tonamo 25 points26 points ago

Your boss sounds amazing.

[–]Yoyo8 26 points27 points ago

Niiicee try, BOSS.

[–]Captainpatch -1 points0 points ago

He isn't a boss, he's just like a boss.

[–]Nefarious_Lobster 14 points15 points ago

Sounds like he has a very... Colorful personality.

[–]Maxfunky 10 points11 points ago

I didn't come here for puns, but I suppose I should have expected to see the full spectrum of typical Reddit comments.

[–]Ed-alicious 1 point2 points ago

Come on guys, try not to bring down the tone of this thread.

[–]CowThing 3 points4 points ago

hue hue hue

[–]Steam_Powered_Rocket 13 points14 points ago

imgur album? :-)

[–]evolvolution 1 point2 points ago

its the fucking catalina wine mixer

[–]guineasomelove 0 points1 point ago

What kind of job do you have?

[–]HotDippedWaffles 0 points1 point ago

[–]phil8248 1 point2 points ago

Where I work that would get him fired.

[–]monom90 11 points12 points ago

I didn't know 13 year olds had jobs!

[–]no_special_snowflake 19 points20 points ago

Actually, it's more likely that he works for a boss that isn't a complete dick and likes to have fun.

Believe it or not, not all jobs are shit.

[–]gerbs 0 points1 point ago

No, it's just hard to believe that an adult would find this funny.

[–]The_One_Above_All 3 points4 points ago

Is your boss 12?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

I'm all for having fun at work... but if my boss sent me emails that said stuff like classy as fuck he will shit in your mouth. I would be uncomfortable and feel like I wasn't working for a very professional person.

[–]ineedausernameplease 0 points1 point ago

And you would be happy about that, right?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Not really no. I want a boss who will give me assignments. Accept my work when its done, and largely stay out of my way while I'm doing what I'm paid to do. I want a boss, not a drinking buddy.

[–]Hobo4Craft 3 points4 points ago

This is incredibly unfunny. Wow.

[–]joeyignorant -2 points-1 points ago

can i work where you work!

your boss obviously is a pretty laid back guy

[–]monom90 10 points11 points ago

Spoiler: He's lying.

[–]jzboston8 -1 points0 points ago

I bet he's also wearing them fancy boots.

[–]saumuribiz -1 points0 points ago

don't tell your boss attached a pic with the same size as this one!

[–]PickleDeer -1 points0 points ago

I kinda want to send this to my boss now. He'd love the shit out of it.

[–]fXellent -1 points0 points ago

For some reason I read this as "My boss has been attaching a bunch of these to the end of his nails the entire week."

[–]alienufosarereal -1 points0 points ago

I believe there is a line in "The Clouds" by Aristophanes that talks about a lizard pooping in an astronomers mouth while he is looking at the sky.

[–]downeysoft -1 points0 points ago

I read all these in vince the shamwow guys voice

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow -1 points0 points ago

Why is the alignment of the text so terrible? AAAHHHHGGGHHH!

[–]Valint -1 points0 points ago

I want to work with you...

[–]starktor -1 points0 points ago

I would buy and nurture that lizard till I die

[–]HIPSTigER -1 points0 points ago

Reminds me of the video "Here Comes Dr. Tran"

[–]THE_GR8_MIKE 1 point2 points ago

Hey may be getting fired at the end of the week.

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 0 points1 point ago

Your boss may be doing cocaine.

[–]Haat -1 points0 points ago

Your boss seems like a pretty laid-back guy.

[–]GargantuanGeek -1 points0 points ago

By any chance, is your boss named Michael? Michael Scott?

[–]unbalanced_checkbook 0 points1 point ago

Rainbow lizard?

Pretty sure it's just an iguana.

[–]Butthole_Scientist -1 points0 points ago

Iguanas can still fuck your shit up, though.

[–]KatiePrickett -1 points0 points ago

i had a boss like that once. except he was bipolar. you'd get an email like this on Tuesday, then he'd be threatening to fire you for something small on Wednesday. so this makes me think of him and i've got nothing but bad feelings for this post

[–]liahmruest -1 points0 points ago

This picture is my wallpaper...

[–]Mousefang -1 points0 points ago

Is it weird that I read that in Samuel L. Jackson's voice?

[–]ryansk17 -1 points0 points ago

Where the hell do you people work??

[–]ElvisDumbledore -1 points0 points ago

Does your boss know he's been attaching them to the end of his emails or did you replace his signature file for him?

[–]Clownsheuz 1 point2 points ago

It's pretty funny, and your boss sounds like a cool dude. I hope he owns the place though, cuz you can get into trouble for that kinda stuff.

[–]Masklin -2 points-1 points ago

Laugh of the week from this. Yes I'm immature, sorry.

[–]TheFundleBunny 0 points1 point ago

Same here, I've got no idea why it's so hilarious but damn, it is.

[–]LittleGiraffe3 -2 points-1 points ago

Your boss sounds strange...but kind of awesome

[–]haibanegatsu 1 point2 points ago

why?

[–]nukerman 0 points1 point ago

At least your Boss likes animals >.>

[–]bshamaym 0 points1 point ago

Is your boss 12 years old or does he just act like one?

[–]BrokenSea -3 points-2 points ago

I have two problems with this.

  1. It's not a fucking LIZARD. It's a Tuatara. http://www.kcc.org.nz/tuatara

  2. They are not rainbow coloured naturally. So it's photoshopped.

[–]PickleDeer 1 point2 points ago

Maybe I'm just crazy, but it looks like an iguana to me.

As for the coloring, I have no idea. I know iguanas can be a variety of colors, but I'm not sure if they can be a variety of colors at the same time.

[–]lego_racer 0 points1 point ago

Yeah it's just a boring old iguana D:

[–]madmars 1 point2 points ago

it's an iguana, not a tuatara. You can tell by the little round bubble near its neck, as well as the scales under the neck. Also, iguanas can be very colorful and the scales sort of shimmer in light. I know this because my sister had one. They are also evil, but that's another story.

[–]MFchimichanga -5 points-4 points ago

Sure

[–]kushari -3 points-2 points ago

That is my background!

[–]gnudarve -2 points-1 points ago

Vistaprint that shit on a t-shirt.

[–]Trppmdm -2 points-1 points ago

Czech this guy out!

[–]catjuggler -2 points-1 points ago

And now your mailbox is full

[–]Darierl 0 points1 point ago

you work in a crackhouse?

[–]EarlobeAnalProbe -2 points-1 points ago

Congrats your boss is a hipster.

[–]punkrocksnoopy23 -2 points-1 points ago

I wish I worked there...

[–]PimpMasterGrand 0 points1 point ago

Where can I find more of these?

[–]kittypillar -2 points-1 points ago

I dig your boss.

[–]bvarner28 0 points1 point ago

As a fooled we chameleon owner FUCK YES

[–]cortisolic -1 points0 points ago

This classy motherfucker has been my wallpaper for the last month.

[–]redragon11 -1 points0 points ago

Best. Boss. Ever.

[–]SawdustAndDiamonds90 0 points1 point ago

[–]PullOutBoy -5 points-4 points ago

LOL ITS FUNNY CAUSE CUSS WORDS LULZ! FOR TEH LULZ! LULZ!! LAWWLL!!

[–]I-Red-It 0 points1 point ago

Can you say... Blackmail?

[–]Garciae -1 points0 points ago

Now that's the most interesting lizard in the world

[–]Burf-_- -3 points-2 points ago

your boss is cool !

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

Reminds me of Packt Publishing

Edit: Apparently some people haven't seen the books from Packt... Well, if any IT people who use F/OSS read this, check out PacktPub.com. They've got a great selection, and the authors are great too.

[–]you_sir_are_wrong -4 points-3 points ago

I'm still trying to figure out the correct way of reading it...

[–]Febrifuge -2 points-1 points ago

Bain Capital execs have not learned a goddamn thing, have they?

[–]adrian_elliot -3 points-2 points ago

Impact... Arial... VERDANA!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FuschiaKnight 8 points9 points ago

Dude, seriously just shut the fuck up. No one cares about you or your stupid meme that has absolutely nothing to do with this post.

[–]Veyf -4 points-3 points ago

Twilight is a love story?

[–]SanguineHaze -3 points-2 points ago

If you're into the age old debate of necrophilia vs. beastiality.

[–]bobaf -2 points-1 points ago

Why not both?

[–]SanguineHaze -2 points-1 points ago

I like the way you roll, sir.