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2020
2021

GTA dating logic (imgur.com)

submitted ago by CrazySumo

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[–]ditch_mouth 1000 points1001 points ago

This is Ted Kennedy dating logic.

[–]holyice7 366 points367 points ago

Oh it is far too early in the morning for shit this good. Take your upvote and go.

[–]WhipIash 98 points99 points ago

Damn, I didn't get it.

[–]MetalKev 104 points105 points ago

Here you are.

[–]lifeis 55 points56 points ago

errah, oops.

[–]apox64928 15 points16 points ago

more relevant

[–]LNMagic 12 points13 points ago

Mobile web is never more relevant.

load more comments (2 replies)

    [–]Boots2Asses 2 points3 points ago

    Thanks!

    [–]Anorhu 0 points1 point ago

    Thanks! Now I know the likely inspiration for this song.

    load more comments (2 replies)

      [–]jamurp 28 points29 points ago

      how did this man have a long career in politics? this event seems so sketchy. edit: seems like I answered my own question.

      [–]funkytaco 25 points26 points ago

      This is the right answer.

      I also have a theory that he was supposed to die, since he was a Kennedy and Death fucked up.

      [–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 9 points10 points ago

      You know, if all the killing hadn't happened -

      JFK 1960-1968
      RFK 1968-1976
      Ted 1976-1984

      [–]Iggapoo 9 points10 points ago

      Well, that was certainly Joe's plan. Not to say it would have worked that way, but that was the idea.

      Personally I have a hard time believing the American public would vote for 3 Kennedys in a row. I have a hard time believing they would vote for 2 in a row. It smacks too much of a dynasty or monarchy.

      Robert might only have gotten as far as he did on the strength of the nation's mourning of JFK. There's every possibility that if JFK had lived to serve the rest of his term or was even elected to a 2nd term that his policies alone would not have endeared himself or the Kennedy name to the American people as much.

      [–]foxh8er 4 points5 points ago

      Maybe not in a row...but certainly with buffer of a couple of incompetent Republicans.

      [–]andThenThereWas 8 points9 points ago

      That explains why he fled the scene and there were some discrepancies in his description. When you confront Azrael face-to-face and win, you can't put that in a police report.

      load more comments (15 replies)

        [–]BsFan 11 points12 points ago

        To be a politician in my state the minimum is a DUI. He took it further.

        [–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 36 points37 points ago

        At the visa checkpoint for entering Australia:

        "Sir, have you ever been convicted of a felony?"
        "Oh wow, no - is that still a requirement here?"

        [–]polysyllabist 5 points6 points ago

        nice, very nice!

        [–]Kalzion 0 points1 point ago

        Upvote for you good sir.

        [–]holyice7 1 point2 points ago

        That's a fight you can't win, Australia.

        Need to commit a felony to be admitted into the country? Enter the country illegally.

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            [–]n0signal 18 points19 points ago

            5:30am and i laughed so hard i think i woke my roommates up. Upvotes all around!

            [–]kurfu 0 points1 point ago

            There was no second date.

            load more comments (7 replies)

              [–]BlubberyGiraffe 102 points103 points ago

              I can confirm this does not happen in real life. They always run away, fast.

              [–]Unidan 48 points49 points ago

              That's why I pick up all my dates in the helicopter.

              Then, when I'm done, I just jump out.

              They always get back to their apartment, somehow.

              shrug

              [–]buttnutela 18 points19 points ago

              I can't seem to get through a date without beating them

              [–]SinatraFan77 2 points3 points ago

              Or get angry get angry and dive out of it while it go spiraling to the ground and explodes, and you fall from 50 stories up and hit the asphalt.

              Then you both wake up in the hospital and go on a second date.

              [–]DrAnalCucumber 0 points1 point ago

              Every time! I see you, and you're not being an excited biologist!

              Ya know what?

              I'm letting you off this one time.

              But don't make the same mistake in your next post! Otherwise I'll send my battle cock after you!

              [–]WhipIash 90 points91 points ago

              You need a stronger knot, my friend.

              [–]_Broseph 25 points26 points ago

              This is why you lock the car doors, silly.

              [–]sp00ks 6 points7 points ago

              Where is haiku generator?

              [–]ChunkyLaFunga 14 points15 points ago

              I beat him to death with a tire iron so he would stop wasting my time while I'm trying to read.

              [–]EffingTank 16 points17 points ago

              I beat him to death

              With an iron so he would

              stop wasting my time

              FTFY

              [–]ChunkyLaFunga 12 points13 points ago

              What kind of person
Finds line breaks entertaining
Self reflection time

              [–]Yabba_Abuse 6 points7 points ago

              A haiku is far more than entertaining line breaks, although, if you don't mind, the 5-7-5 syllabic structure may call for some creative use of the language which may lead to humorous, thoughtful or insightful (read: entertaining) words placed at the end of the line creating tension, humor or expectation. So, line breaks really aren't the entertaining part, but the act of barriers on your writing and trying to conform to that is where the joy and fun is.

              See also: oulipo

              load more comments (1 reply)

                [–]WorderOfWords 2 points3 points ago

                Yeah, in real life all gansters are forever alone.

                [–]Manbitesdonut 359 points360 points ago

                Your suit's a little dirty? No problem, just eat a hamburger.

                [–]boesse 262 points263 points ago

                Got eighteen gunshot wounds? Eat a hot dog!

                Or my favorite:

                Three stars and thirty cops trying to kill you as you run up to your apartment? Just take a nap!

                [–]Perforathor 248 points249 points ago

                "He just shot 15 of my coworkers, escaped 20 police cars, now his hideout is surrounded and he's just taking a nap ? He really doesn't give a fuck... Damn it, my pay is not worth it, i'm going home."

                [–][deleted] ago

                [deleted]

                [–]Tactful 160 points161 points ago

                Keep him at zero, lads.

                [–]Bloshbag 116 points117 points ago

                Why he's from the 9gag army. We shouldn't mess with him, he might faggot you to death.

                [–]Tactful 50 points51 points ago

                No, he's not. He's a troll account that gets off on people reacting to him. He's an attention seeker, so just keep him at zero and move on.

                [–]Bloshbag 33 points34 points ago

                Could you not tell I was joking?

                [–]hitlersshit 0 points1 point ago

                Keeping him at zero by upvoting/downvoting is still giving him attention. With Reddit Enhancement Suite you can tell how many upvotes/downvotes your comment get.

                [–]withmorten 3 points4 points ago

                It says 160/160, but he's at -10 points. Something smells fishy.

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                    [–]RandomTomato 29 points30 points ago

                    Dont bump the hotdog stand though, you could level an entire block.

                    [–]oer6000 5 points6 points ago

                    While we're on the subject just what the fuck is that?

                    I've never gotten why hotdog vendors are allowed to keep weapons grade explosives on their stand.

                    The less said about the questionable quality of the metal used in making lampposts, the better.

                    [–]Psirix 0 points1 point ago

                    Don't bump the swingset either. Or your ass is going to the moon.

                    [–]APeacefulWarrior 45 points46 points ago

                    You lack ambition. Lure them into the apartment, slaughter them, leave them festering in a pile on the floor, and then take a nap.

                    Then go get a burger and leave them as a present for Roman.

                    [–]dafragsta 25 points26 points ago

                    HEY COUSIN!

                    [–]SkyrimForTheDragons 20 points21 points ago

                    IF THESE BODIES PAID RENT I WOULDN'T MIND!

                    [–]ChemicalShenanigans 6 points7 points ago

                    THAT'S RIGHT! I'VE GOT THE BEST CORPSES, I'VE GOT THE BEST DIRT!

                    [–]DBECKK 29 points30 points ago

                    Five stars and the entire police force trying to kill you? Just chill out in the subway, for all they know it doesn't exist!

                    [–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 9 points10 points ago

                    But if you have one star and a single cop following you, switching cars has no effect.

                    From 100m away "There he is! In that car over there driving away! Get him!"

                    load more comments (1 reply)

                      [–]funkytaco 10 points11 points ago

                      Five stars and the FBI after you? Just get a paint job!

                      [–]Lurker187 19 points20 points ago

                      TBH, that also includes new plates, a repaired car, and if we're talking about IV, a couple of hours of laying low. Granted, this shouldn't take the FBI off your case completely, but it should end the active pursuit. Which it does.

                      [–]IFaps2Crap 5 points6 points ago

                      The hot dog part isn't as bad as drinking an energy drink to restore HP...

                      [–]Yoyo8 6 points7 points ago

                      The perfect crime.

                      [–]AnotherTemplar 2 points3 points ago

                      Sleeping your problems away!

                      [–]baculumsucker 1 point2 points ago

                      Sure, I'll leave my door unlocked in what is essentially the Bronx! Especially when I have over half a million in cash I can't spend.

                      load more comments (18 replies)

                        [–]hey_suburbia 138 points139 points ago

                        “I play grand theft auto, grand theft auto is a really detail game, on this game you can buy clothes and go on dates with videogame girls, so I bought an outfit that I thought the videogame girl would love, I bought a shirt pants and shoes, then I picked her up and shes like “that shirt is ugly”, so I got out of the car and shot her in the face, DONT DISRESPECT ME, YOU VIDEOGAME BITCH! YOU VIRTUAL TWAT YOU JUST GOT SHOT IN THE FACE NOW THE DATE IS OVER, I don't need your criticism in HD”

                        — Hannibal Buress

                        http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/WhyILoveGrandTheftAuto

                        [–]rubypumps 57 points58 points ago

                        "You're being weird!" "I'm being weird? Nah, you're being weird. I just shot you in the face and you didn't die"

                        [–]Sr_Navarre 24 points25 points ago

                        "I think you should have been more forthcoming about your immortality."

                        [–]TheEllimist 6 points7 points ago

                        Damn, I love Hannibal Burress! I randomly found one of his videos when I was watching some Donald Glover stand up. "Why you want me to leave, so you can go and jack off?"

                        [–]mattroes 30 points31 points ago

                        Just don't even think about choosing the wrong restaurant to eat at.

                        [–]Nosferatu- 57 points58 points ago

                        Nothing impresses a hooker like killing a bit of the competition.

                        [–]calrogman 27 points28 points ago

                        That's not a hooker. That's a cop.

                        [–]Cheese_Bits 38 points39 points ago

                        Not true, she was working for U.L. Paper

                        [–]EffingTank 9 points10 points ago

                        really? really? man I thought she was FBI. That makes her entire storyline a tiny bit disappointing but I still enjoy GTAIV as an incredibly nuanced game.

                        [–]Lurker187 18 points19 points ago

                        Well, The GTA IV equivalent of FBI is apparently FIB and in your first U.L. Paper mission cutscene, the boss man says "What, the FIB? Do I look gay to you?" or something along those lines. So I think they're just the heterosexual version of FBI.

                        [–]latticusnon 6 points7 points ago

                        incredibly nuanced game

                        Did you play a different game than I did?

                        [–]EffingTank 2 points3 points ago

                        I admire it. It's one of the first games where I cared when a character died. I guess nuanced isn't the right word but I think it's a great game anyway.

                        load more comments (1 reply)

                          [–]Cpt_Kirks_Waffles 11 points12 points ago

                          There only called hookers once they're dead.

                          [–]Tronus 18 points19 points ago

                          Forget Michelle. It's all about Kiki. Kiki was that girl.

                          Three stars, cops on your ass?

                          "No problem, baby, let me talk to the DA."

                          Loved that bitch.

                          [–]AkronsFinest 4 points5 points ago

                          Random sexting AND gets rid of the cops? It's a damn shame she's insane. :(

                          [–]lydocia 20 points21 points ago

                          "Want to come up for some coffee?"

                          [–]RandomTomato 28 points29 points ago

                          hot coffee

                          [–]frader12 2 points3 points ago

                          Fuck, I just realized what the meaning was behind the name after all this time. Not that I or anyone my age drank coffee in the first place when the game was released.

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                            [–]unfortunatejordan 34 points35 points ago

                            By now most people have probably seen the GTA IV Carmageddon video. It's funny in how it makes all the boring sidequests of GTA IV really exciting. Getting to a date on time is a massive challenge (be sure to leave a few cars unaffected, so you can still drive), getting a drink with Roman becomes a suicide mission.

                            If you actually finish a mission, you sometimes get the best reward. During this little cutscene, cars will still fly around and potentially crash/explode on you while the scene plays out. "Sure, let's do this again some-"cccrrrRRRASH-BOOM.

                            [–]Loborin 12 points13 points ago

                            Ok, I need to know, If I turned it down a little (Lets say -7 instead of -9) Would it be slightly less insane?
                            I essentially want GTA as directed by Michael Bay

                            [–]unfortunatejordan 17 points18 points ago

                            I haven't been able to notice much difference, although I haven't tried many numbers closer to zero, maybe something around -1 would give you that effect.

                            As far as I can tell, the WBIAS value is the friction co-efficient for the wheels of that vehicle. The usual positive number would mean wheels experience drag, cars coast to a stop when not powered etc. A value of zero is 'perfect ice', the car will slide forever without slowing. A negative number means that wheels will gain speed rather than slow down. Imagine there are booster pads (ala Mario Kart) underneath each wheel, covering the ground (and walls, ceiling) in every direction.

                            [–]Loborin 9 points10 points ago

                            That. Is. Awesome.

                            [–]unfortunatejordan 14 points15 points ago

                            It really is!

                            I've been amazed how it actually strengthens immersion, at least for me. Vanilla GTA IV has a very videogamey feel to the action, drive here, kill guys, escort this, the usual problem open-world games have. Driving place to place is mostly uneventful, the world is pretty uniform.

                            With this alteration, everything changes. You have to pay close attention to what's happening around you, things are entirely unpredictable while travelling. You'll be driving, and suddenly a tanker flies off the highway overhead, Terminator 2 style, dropping onto a taxi behind you and exploding. You aren't safe, even on the roof of a two-story building. Losing your car is stressful at the least, being on foot is an exercise in paranoia.

                            Highly recommended to everyone!

                            [–]chrismikehunt 129 points130 points ago

                            Not the best date to chose for this pic, as she is working for the police and just trying to get close to you.

                            [–]matamou 119 points120 points ago

                            I've played GTA IV through many times but it still hurt to read that spoiler. I'm not alone, right?

                            [–]zaiats 36 points37 points ago

                            when i played gta 4 i was just grinding story missions and not bothering with the bullshit dating minigames. so when teh big reveal came i was like "oh... meh...." same for when that thing happens to that chick at the end with the stuff and the bullets. i was a bit let down becasue the game assumed that i was dating them the whole time and would grow attached or something.

                            [–]Kass1207 24 points25 points ago

                            I was attached to Kate... I finished the game a year ago and was at the part where Kate died... A year ago and it still hurts :'(

                            [–]lancerevo98 39 points40 points ago

                            i was kinda mad that nico never banged her

                            [–]LostUser_2600 6 points7 points ago

                            I was a little bit. But it was also pretty much told to you before you even got her number that she doesn't put out.

                            I still almost cried like a bitch when she died, I always lived packie and Kate, The other brothers were all okay. (except the junkie didn't like him that much.) but I really spent a lotta time with Kate and packie

                            [–]lancerevo98 5 points6 points ago

                            Haha I agree, I love packie, I still have a save where the game is beat, I still go bowling and or drinking with packie when I'm bored

                            [–]xneurocentric 1 point2 points ago

                            I actually was more upset if you choose the other way and you see Roman's fate. My boyfriend recently went through the game again, and I was like, "Let Kate bite the bullet. You haven't been dating her that long, and besides, you don't even get to bang her."

                            [–]LostUser_2600 5 points6 points ago

                            Yeah. I always ended up letting Kate die, simply because of roman dies Kate leaves you anyway, so just let her die so you can still use Romans taxis.

                            [–]xneurocentric 2 points3 points ago

                            This is true. To be honest, she isn't too much of an asset, even in reality. Niko thinks she's hot, but she constantly shoots down the way he does things, and who he is. She doesn't put out, and he dates her, for what? A few days/weeks in game time? Doesn't make sense that he would be that heartbroken.

                            I really only loved GTA IV for the Russian aspect. Vladivostok FM, the Russian conversations, Hove Beach resembling Brighton Beach, etc.

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                              [–]SkyrimForTheDragons 6 points7 points ago

                              Oh man but the other person to die would be Roman, and that would have upset me more

                              [–]kissapuu 4 points5 points ago

                              Well, even if you didn't actively date her she's rather obviously shown as... at least a possible love interest for Nico, thus an appropriate source for drama.

                              Nevertheless, I think Roman dying was more powerful and I think the bullets fit in his flesh much better.

                              [–]SkeeverTail 3 points4 points ago

                              i was a bit let down becasue the game assumed that i was dating them the whole time and would grow attached or something

                              I thought it was pretty obvious that your not going to enjoy a game to a full if you "grind" it as you say you did.

                              [–]Kevindeuxieme 11 points12 points ago

                              Playing the story a second time while knowing this made the conversations feel completely different...

                              [–]EffingTank 18 points19 points ago

                              I know, right. The very first time you meet her Niko comments on how all of her stuff is new, Some of it even with tags on. It takes the second playthrough to appreciate why that's worth noting.

                              It also explains some of her reactions like when Niko offers to go to the funfair and she replies "Yeah, Great! I LOVE the funfair."

                              [–]Tactful 47 points48 points ago

                              Yeah, Rockstar are fucking amazing.

                              [–]Korvar 16 points17 points ago

                              I knew what was going on from the first date. All-new furniture? All the questions she was asking? Totally an undercover cop. Well, okay, agent, but anyway...

                              Edit: rogue punctuation.

                              [–]TehSantos 8 points9 points ago

                              It seemed obvious to me as well. Apparently we are in the minority.

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                                [–]DaEvil1 0 points1 point ago

                                I don't get this. I mean everytime she talked, she would come off with a certain vibe that just meant me go "oh yeah, NEVER saw that coming." when the reveal happened.

                                [–]flamingspinach_ 42 points43 points ago

                                Actually, she's working for a secret government organization, not the police.

                                [–]ThatJanitor 19 points20 points ago

                                I was actually really invested in Michelle the first time I played. I went fucking miles to avoid crashing into pedestrians, knocking over lamp-posts and driving in an orderly fashion.

                                Yeah, I should have seen it coming. There's so many clues and the way she speaks and asks questions.

                                But fuck, man. When she confronts you and Jacob. I felt emotionally betrayed.

                                [–]Magicaltrevorman 11 points12 points ago

                                Might want to spoiler tag that for those that havn't played it.

                                [–]EffingTank 21 points22 points ago

                                how long ago was that game? 5 years? and we still have to spoiler it?

                                Damn this community is dedicated to letting new players experience things.

                                [–]tylo 2 points3 points ago

                                Well I haven't beaten it yet. I'm not too upset about this game. A small conspiracy theory movie played it my head. It all makes sense now...

                                "That bar doesn't have any criminals, does it!?"

                                Well played, Michelle...you aren't just an ultra conservative lady that sleeps with people begging them to tell them interesting things after the 2nd date after all...

                                [–]Wigglepugs 16 points17 points ago

                                ...god dammit. The spoiler tag doesn't hide anything on Alien Blue and I'm currently playing through that game for the first time. Now I'm sad :(

                                [–]dreminemike 31 points32 points ago

                                SNITCHES GET STITCHES

                                [–]Kon-chezz 2 points3 points ago

                                STOP SNITCHIN'!

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                                  [–]DONTUPVOTEPLZ 2 points3 points ago

                                  can you remind me of what happens between Niko and her afterwards? I honestly can't remember

                                  [–]HausOfTony 0 points1 point ago

                                  awwhh ]:

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                                    [–]WhimsicalJape 14 points15 points ago

                                    All the way back there.

                                    http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/05/04

                                    [–]AnotherDumbQuestion 13 points14 points ago

                                    I just love the fact that she will help you jack another person's ride like it aint no thang

                                    [–]ADHamilton91 9 points10 points ago

                                    Even Niko seems perplexed.

                                    [–]Prozn 40 points41 points ago

                                    God dammit, now I'm going to spend the next 5 hours driving aimlessly round liberty city!

                                    [–]APeacefulWarrior 59 points60 points ago

                                    It is just so strangely compelling, isn't it? It's like having your own little living pet city that you can do whatever you want in.

                                    GTA IV has taught me that I would be a bad, bad person if I were immortal.

                                    [–]Tronus 29 points30 points ago

                                    Are you sure? There was a Twilight Zone of the same principle. The immortal ended up getting life in prison. Forever.

                                    [–]APeacefulWarrior 12 points13 points ago

                                    I've never seen that one, actually. Sounds interesting. Either way, unless he was imprisoned by fellow immortals, that's really just a minor setback. He can out-wait any society which imprisons him.

                                    [–]TheD33Man 14 points15 points ago

                                    Well theres a short story that I've been writing for the past 10 seconds, and it mostly revolves around a person who is granted immortality. But they're also retarded. Haven't come up with a title yet.

                                    [–]Squeaky_Lobster 12 points13 points ago

                                    A Retarded Eternity

                                    [–]Balougahfitz 2 points3 points ago

                                    The first thing he does is play with a cup-and-ball for decades until it deteriorates to dust in his hands.

                                    [–]APeacefulWarrior 4 points5 points ago

                                    Well theres a short story that I've been writing for the past 10 seconds,

                                    I like you.

                                    I'd imagine its tard rages would be terrifying.

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                                          [–]AdamDeVine 9 points10 points ago

                                          That'll buff right out

                                          [–]Dorfidiot 10 points11 points ago

                                          any date where she doesnt ragdoll is a good date.

                                          [–]zomg_pwn 14 points15 points ago

                                          "I played GTA once. I accidentally killed someone, and got upset and quit."

                                          -My girlfriend just now

                                          [–]DeathbatMaggot 4 points5 points ago

                                          Well, at least she's morally conscious.

                                          [–]raping_horsefucker66 105 points106 points ago

                                          http://i.imgur.com/Wasyr.gif

                                          [–]Cheimon 82 points83 points ago

                                          wat

                                          [–]Stebbieranch 50 points51 points ago

                                          It's a neti pot. Crazy people use them to clean their noses.

                                          [–]birdnerd 15 points16 points ago

                                          It's a neti pot. Crazy people use them to clean their noses get brain-eating amoeba.

                                          Sauce.

                                          [–]LeonTrotsky_on_speed 3 points4 points ago

                                          This is why you're supposed to boil the water, and then wait for it to cool to room temperature before use.

                                          [–]Cheimon 18 points19 points ago

                                          It looks like a gravy boat. I honestly thought she was pouring gravy into her nose before it came out.

                                          [–]VonBrewskie 16 points17 points ago

                                          I thought I was watching a Tim and Eric sketch. This is a REAL thing?

                                          [–]Captain_LargePoop 2 points3 points ago

                                          Say what you want but that shit works

                                          [–]dlq84 5 points6 points ago

                                          smart people... Regular nasal spray can damage the mucous membrane, while neti pot with salt water will not.

                                          [–]derdep 8 points9 points ago

                                          Crazy people can be smart.

                                          [–]sparton192 12 points13 points ago

                                          It's a neti-pot (spelling?) that cleans out your sinuses using gravity/salt water. I've used it and actually works wonders.

                                          [–]flamingspinach_ 9 points10 points ago

                                          Just make sure not to use tap water in it without boiling it first!

                                          [–]the_cereal_killer 30 points31 points ago

                                          boiling water to clean my sinuses. got it.

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                                            [–]Duck_Jerky 8 points9 points ago

                                            D:

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                                              [–]Firepower01 14 points15 points ago

                                              God damnit why didn't this work for ME!

                                              [–]MesterMajer 5 points6 points ago

                                              The biggest problem with this game are the other drivers, damn they suck at driving.

                                              [–]Nyrb 3 points4 points ago

                                              She's a keeper.

                                              [–]imnotabus 2 points3 points ago

                                              Talking with her girlfriends later on,

                                              "Yeah he's a really great guy. He doesn't hit me as much as my last boyfriend did."

                                              [–]MadHezz 2 points3 points ago

                                              The look on Niko's face makes it for me. He looks like he's thinking 'No way bitch, u serious?'

                                              [–]thebigguru 0 points1 point ago

                                              I was so mad when my real gf killed her on purpose

                                              [–]PieterPlopplop 4 points5 points ago

                                              Oh, I thought this was about The Greater Toronto area's dating scene.

                                              [–]Gimme_ADD 2 points3 points ago

                                              60% of the time, it works every time.

                                              [–]suicidemachine 0 points1 point ago

                                              Niko doesn't look amused.

                                              [–]Groots 1 point2 points ago

                                              I really dislike having to go on man dates with roman etc. You're a dude relax on the thumbs down.

                                              [–]ryanstills -1 points0 points ago

                                              As soon as you kill someone when on a date with her she will end the date.

                                              [–]Im-M-A-Reyes 1 point2 points ago

                                              Either she's a keeper or you need to learn how to drive...

                                              [–]jesse5 1 point2 points ago

                                              Perhaps that's just the aftermath of some ...dangerous sex?

                                              [–]thatusernameisal 0 points1 point ago

                                              I don't think logic means what you think it means.

                                              [–]TjeuV 0 points1 point ago

                                              It's an awesome game. Logic isn't part of it's awesome'ness, the absence of it, is

                                              [–]somegirlfromsask 0 points1 point ago

                                              ive been on a few of those dates

                                              [–]TheAgnosticAtheist 0 points1 point ago

                                              Too fast. Too slow. I don't like this area.

                                              [–]CGord 0 points1 point ago

                                              I picked up the GTA pack during this year's Steam sale, and I was checking out IV for the first time. Moving and driving felt really, really wonky to me, and I had to google how to use the cell phone. I only did the first mission, driving the guy to and from the card game. I'll have to check it out some more.

                                              [–]banhutt22 1 point2 points ago

                                              anyone else just staring at that shitty color palette?

                                              [–]3rdLevelRogue 0 points1 point ago

                                              Girls like a dangerous man in a brown coat. Logic is sound.

                                              [–]wrongbuton 0 points1 point ago

                                              well she was an undercover cop so maybe she let it slide

                                              [–]admiralis 0 points1 point ago

                                              Wouldn't want to say no to a man who gives that many fucks. (zero)

                                              [–]Chunga_the_Great 1 point2 points ago

                                              And then you learn the real reason why she keeps coming back....

                                              [–]PeteTNT 0 points1 point ago

                                              My kind of girl!

                                              [–]k12314 0 points1 point ago

                                              Sometimes, I wish dating was like this in real life.

                                              I'm a terrible fucking driver.

                                              [–]TravtheCoach 0 points1 point ago

                                              When your girl enjoys running over pedestrians and shootouts with the police, you know you have a winner.

                                              [–]Inovlid 1 point2 points ago

                                              I wish cops were like that in real life.

                                              [–]Fast_Lane 0 points1 point ago

                                              But nooooooooooo, when I barely bump some dude with my motorcycle she's all scared and shit and doesn't want to talk to me.

                                              [–]Clockwork757 1 point2 points ago

                                              Sleeping Dogs is worse. If you already have a girlfriend and you do the start of another girlfriend quest, in this case hacking a camera together, your first girlfriend will break up with you.

                                              [–]retro-naut 0 points1 point ago

                                              Even his face is like "what the fuck!? You REALLY want to see me again? After that?"

                                              [–]xneurocentric 0 points1 point ago

                                              To be fair, that looks like Michelle, and she has to date you for the story line to keep going. I always used to fuck around while dating her, because it didn't matter who I killed while driving, or where I took her. She would still use her wonderful "acting" to say she wanted to date me again.

                                              I personally enjoyed her sex voice. "Oh, Niko, tell me more! You're SO interesting! You're great, Niko, YOU'RE GREAT!"

                                              [–]damien5314 1 point2 points ago

                                              apparently cars are pretty goddamn bulletproof, too (took this from my own screenshot folder, haha)

                                              [–]fluffy402 0 points1 point ago

                                              Runs over multiple people. She doesn't care.

                                              Accidentally backs into cop car. She runs for her life.

                                              [–]Aznb01p 0 points1 point ago

                                              Chicks dig bad boys brah.

                                              [–]He_who_frontflips 0 points1 point ago

                                              I guess you could say that date was, KILLER. YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

                                              [–]kingknut5 0 points1 point ago

                                              Every year someone puts this exact image on this board.

                                              [–]Shinwaokami 0 points1 point ago

                                              Leland loves his blood on the windshield

                                              [–]wildhamsterman 1 point2 points ago

                                              Thats the type of girl Heisenberg needs.

                                              [–]acdcfreak 0 points1 point ago

                                              guys r/gta is an awesome subreddit, check it out!

                                              [–]bobsagetfullhouse 0 points1 point ago

                                              Bob saget approves

                                              [–]URBANNIGHTMARE 0 points1 point ago

                                              Michelle shoulda died.

                                              [–]dopeboyhero 0 points1 point ago

                                              It's not that bad.

                                              [–]tofunoodle 0 points1 point ago

                                              hello, michelle. do you want to hang out?

                                              [–]VivaLaCuba 1 point2 points ago

                                              I could never resist the urge to assault my date. Why are you being like this, Niko?

                                              [–]bigbrentos 0 points1 point ago

                                              Relevant

                                              [–]SinatraFan77 -1 points0 points ago

                                              First Date: Go bowling, go home.

                                              Second Date: Go out, get in a fist fight, run from the police, get shot in the back several times, and make her run half the way home.

                                              And the sex is guaranteed.

                                              [–]HumpDeeBump 0 points1 point ago

                                              That look on Niko's face. He's just thinking "Dear god is there no way I can get her to leave me alone?"

                                              [–]slavid 0 points1 point ago

                                              That's her menstral blood on the hood. And he's cool with it. I say let them have their love

                                              [–]lord_dude 0 points1 point ago

                                              maybe she liked it?!

                                              [–]redditchao999 0 points1 point ago

                                              Wasn't there a Penny Arcade comic that addressed this?

                                              [–]AnaBackwards 0 points1 point ago

                                              A girl's gotta eat.

                                              [–]AimlessAbyss 0 points1 point ago

                                              What a crazy game! Can't wait for the next one to come out!

                                              [–]Bellstrom 0 points1 point ago

                                              The best part about this screenshot is that even Niko seems to be thinking "Why the fuck are you still interested?"

                                              [–]bloodfist 0 points1 point ago

                                              Argh! I just started playing GTAIV, and on my first date with this chick, we get almost back to her place after I flipped the car I stole about 15 times down the highway, and she's still like "Good date, yay!" Then, right before I pull up to her place, some truck out of NOWHERE backs into my car. That was apparently the final straw. She got out and ran away screaming. Fuck that girl. Next time I see her, she ends up in a river.

                                              [–]HNW 0 points1 point ago

                                              Now that I know who Michelle is, every time I replay GTA 4 I am the biggest asshole in the world to her.

                                              [–]Laurikens 0 points1 point ago

                                              Wasn't she payed by the fed's or some other higher ups to date Nico in order to investigate him?

                                              [–]Kuzzo 0 points1 point ago

                                              For a second I was thinking, "you can pick up hookers in GTA IV?"

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