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top 200 commentsshow all 424

[–]Jamricket 407 points408 points ago

I could see my pen rolling off the back of the desk and having to walk down the stairs with a sigh every 30 minutes.

[–]bannana 165 points166 points ago

Bic pens 10 pack.

[–]toekneebullard 233 points234 points ago

Fine. Every couple hours.

[–]Artemissister 87 points88 points ago

You're looking at it all wrong. Imagine the muscular, muscular thighs and buttocks you would build.

[–]Reesch 37 points38 points ago

Mmm, yes. Dem buttocks.

[–]_0x 36 points37 points ago

I could see myself rolling off and into that murder pit.

[–]kyzfrintin 34 points35 points ago

Pen cup? Or maybe a small barrier at the edge of the desk?

[–]Kandarian 24 points25 points ago

There's no call for logic and simple solutions here!

[–]warpus 43 points44 points ago

I could see my cum flying across the desk and down onto my dirty laundry below. That would suck because that's usually what I put on the next morning.

[–]metallink11 24 points25 points ago

You have a special masturbation room and you're using the desk?

[–]warpus 20 points21 points ago

Every room is a potential masturbation room

[–]specialk16 5 points6 points ago

I can see myself kicking the desk because I got shot in BF3 by the same asshole for the 13th time and then have my monitor all the way on the floor.

[–]havestronaut 26 points27 points ago

Who uses pens in 2012? I have one to sign my rent check. Otherwise, it's all pixels, son.

[–]mfcav123 38 points39 points ago

Oh well, I dropped my pixels off the desk. Only $200 lost.

[–]Jamricket 19 points20 points ago

Tactile people.

[–]ninjatthew 0 points1 point ago

Totally worth it.

[–]VileDevastation 123 points124 points ago

Fuck in my dorm. I want my actual room to look like this.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ratfink_is_awesome 33 points34 points ago

As married man who lives a 3 bedroom house, I also agree. Wife will understand. I hope. I'll say it is for our 7 month old.

[–]BlizzardZHusky 6 points7 points ago

I think I can see this coming: "Why yes dear, little Timmy does in fact need a queen size bed... and I'm building it in our bedroom for secrecy. You sure do ask a lot of simple questions."

[–]calvindog717 172 points173 points ago

it's pretty, but they forgot to include some way to hide the cords. Thats a poor design choice there.

[–]bannana 36 points37 points ago

Velcro is your friend in these situations.

[–]LeonTrotsky_on_speed 7 points8 points ago

ssssssccccrrrripppppppppp

[–]thermal_shock 17 points18 points ago

i looked for that. it looks like they run down the poles and into the storage under the desk. you can kind of see it on the far side, next to the wall.

[–]fonce 84 points85 points ago

My favorite feature is how your engorged junk is going to be directly at eye level when your roommate walks in on you fapping to pics of his sister on /r/gonewild.

[–]Ifriendzonecats 28 points29 points ago

My favorite part is how loud your roommate is going to be when he stomps on the mostly empty cabinet getting out of bed and stumbles nosily down the stairs.

[–]Baes2040 2 points3 points ago

my favorite feature is when you drunkenly stumble out of bed and trip shoving your entire desk and computer off the edge onto the floor.

[–]munge_me_not 21 points22 points ago

To the fap cave Robin!

[–]dishtowel 2 points3 points ago

You make it sound like you're planning to fap with a friend.ಠ_ಠ

[–]Perkinator 35 points36 points ago

Wheely chair on top of a ledge?

Can't go wrong.

[–]DougLance 201 points202 points ago

I like the hotbox room.

[–]SadTruth_HappyLies 167 points168 points ago

I like the hotbox fap room.

[–]Ecpie 190 points191 points ago

I prefer "fap cave", myself.

[–]Ihateyourdick 123 points124 points ago

Masturbation station.

[–]Default_blah 66 points67 points ago

They act like you're only going to use it to store clothes and shit but every guy here knows well that the room will be used as a wank chamber at least once.

You take the laptop off the weird above ground part and descend the spiral steps in shame as you retreat into the lonely hollow beneath your bed like some kind of monster that children are afraid of. You fasten the door shut out of paranoia. With your computer as the only source of light as you sit there on the floor immersed in the pale glow, you remember that you never brought in any furniture so as not to make it so blatant. And once you re-emerge, back into reality, you are dazzled by the intensity of the light, heart racing in the hope that you won't be noticed. Also, the door doesn't have a handle so your house mate will probably have to come get you when you eventually trap yourself in there.

[–]Ihateyourdick 12 points13 points ago

That was... colorful.

[–]Default_blah 3 points4 points ago

I just like to make people laugh and this kind of humour appears to be my unfortunate niche.

[–]Ihateyourdick 1 point2 points ago

I like it, it's much wittier than just yelling "HE'S TALKIN' ABOUT FUCKIN'!" when people try to be subtle.

[–]zman0900 9 points10 points ago

When I lived in a dorm, we called a room lit only by the light of a laptop "masturbatorily dark".

[–]jdonabro 26 points27 points ago

Funny story about Masturbatoriums. In my friend's temporary house, he had a storage room that was only accessible through his closet, so basically it was a closet within a closet. When we discovered it we knew there was only one thing that we could call it, the Masturbatorium. Needless to say great times were had hot boxing the Masturbatorium.

[–]DCJodon 43 points44 points ago

You hung out in your friends Masturbatorium?

[–]jdonabro 24 points25 points ago

...Yes

[–]DCJodon 18 points19 points ago

............I'll just move along then.

[–]Fearlessleader85 4 points5 points ago

That term made watching that movie worthwhile.

[–]billiumgates 5 points6 points ago

"Girl came home with roommate from class today, I left for a time out of respect. Five minutes after I returned he emerged from the cave, alone."

[–]Throwmeawaywardson 5 points6 points ago

Don't disturb the FapMan.

[–]memeaddictedchick 17 points18 points ago

If you lock the door your whole room is you're fap room. You could Fap anywhere you wanted in there!

[–]SadTruth_HappyLies 22 points23 points ago

Dorms are usually two beds per room, aren't they?

[–]OneSilentE 14 points15 points ago

Yup, you'd have to be pretty lucky to get an entire dorm room to yourself. Some colleges even have 4 beds per room.

[–]rasterbee 24 points25 points ago

I had a single for half a semester.

Normal two person dorm room, room mate didn't show up on the first day. Maybe they died, I don't know. I pushed the beds together, threw down extra blankets to cover the crease and had a double bed for 4 months.

The following semester they moved someone into my room, someone who turned out to be my best friend for the next 4-5 years.

[–]Lo_Key 11 points12 points ago

d'awww

[–]swazy 9 points10 points ago

"Look you may be new here but the beds stay together"

[–]Airazz 10 points11 points ago

Not in UK. I have never seen a two-bed dorm room.

[–]LonelyNixon 22 points23 points ago

Lol you europeans and your cheap and practical universities.

I've seen 3 beds per tiny room in dorms before.

[–]Wombat23 3 points4 points ago

yep i am in that boat.... =( feels bad man.

[–]LonelyNixon 4 points5 points ago

You could always just get an apartment. Depending on where you are even living by yourself apartments are cheaper than dorms.

[–]Nausicaa13 4 points5 points ago

Usually two beds in the dorms in Wisconsin. Sometimes there are single rooms.

All they want is love.

[–]ChappyWagon[!] 2 points3 points ago

It does vary. My girlfriend had a one-bed dorm room a few semesters back.

[–]BananaSlim 2 points3 points ago

at my university it depended on what dorm you were in. I was in one where it was 100% single rooms

[–]slapdashbr 2 points3 points ago

Idk, I think I'd find it awkward sitting up on a raised platform masturbating. Not that I would let that stop me

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]lisabadcat 31 points32 points ago

Wanna kill all humans?

[–]the_fern386 15 points16 points ago

You need to hang out in /r/lego.

[–]Ihateyourdick 53 points54 points ago

Yay, now I can steal save flickr images.

[–]oracular_spectacular 8 points9 points ago

why could you not before..

[–]abbygirl 11 points12 points ago

You're one of my new favorite bots, right next to qkme_transcriber

[–]Mattsinger 7 points8 points ago

looks at comment history. Really, Really doubt you are a bot, but thanks for rehosting the images anyway.

[–]Their_Police 6 points7 points ago

I'd imagine that the owner of the bot has access to the account and is able to make comments under that name.

[–]panamaspace 6 points7 points ago

Correct. He was answering some questions on how it works, etc.

[–]joshbike 4 points5 points ago

how do bots work?

[–]hippogriffin 32 points33 points ago

magnets

[–]Fatbeerguy 11 points12 points ago

Does anyone have that in their dorm? Mine looked like a cinder block prison.

[–]cowboykillers 12 points13 points ago

this wouldn't fit in my freshman dorm room..

[–]LexSenthur 10 points11 points ago

You thought getting caught fapping to gonewild was awkward before...

walks into room

"OH JESUS! RIGHT AT EYE LEVEL!"

...think again.

[–]Reggaejunkiejew31 9 points10 points ago

take laptop into fapcave

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

Who faps to gonewild? I'm an adult, I'll watch HD porn on my television in the living room.

[–]LexSenthur 8 points9 points ago

The same person who'd have a twin bed in their room.

[–]alexrmay91 39 points40 points ago

Browsed all of the comments and not one that links to where I can BUY this!

[–]bathori 48 points49 points ago

[–]Troll-Catcher 8 points9 points ago

Never in my life have I wanted anything more than this...

[–]Throwmeawaywardson 16 points17 points ago

Hold on guys, I need to go inside the man-cave and take care of some "personal" business.

[–]munge_me_not 51 points52 points ago

I'll be below my bunk.

[–]ayers231 19 points20 points ago

This is what my girls have. They cost a little over $5k for the pair, but they can take them with they move out (third pic)...: http://www.bergfurniture.com/23_905.php

[–]tweakingforjesus 33 points34 points ago

Full Loft Bed

The frame on this furniture set is built to support a full sized bed. The lofted bed is manufactured with a solid board as the mattress support (no slats here!) and can hold up to 250 lbs.

I hope your daughter's boyfriend doesn't weigh much.

[–]ayers231 46 points47 points ago

they are 3 and 5, I think we'll be okay for a while... ;p

[–]tweakingforjesus 26 points27 points ago

Ah, shit. Sorry. I thought they were in college.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

But you said they can take them when they move out...

They'd better be under 5'5" when they're older, or a full size is going to be too small.

[–]just_one_thing 13 points14 points ago

Now children don't eat too many vegetables or you're gonna grow tall AND WASTE ALL THE FUCKING MONEY WE SPENT ON THOSE GODDAMN BEDS.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

And then you'll have to join the WNBA!

Do you want to have to join the WBNA?

ಠ_ಠ

That's what I thought.

[–]myles92 7 points8 points ago

my 6' 4" 220 lb brother sleeps on a full size.

[–]missachlys 3 points4 points ago

5'8", almost 5'9" and in a twin bed (parents don't want to shell out money since I'm moving out within a year).

It's not too bad, actually. But I stick my feet through the footboard and tend to sleep half off the bed. It's like the ultimate "one foot out of the blanket" effect.

[–]daidandyy 4 points5 points ago

Which one do they have?

[–]ayers231 4 points5 points ago

3rd pic, with the desk underneath. We almost did just the one, but my parents threw in some money to help for my youngest's 3rd birthday....

[–]John_Barleycorn 8 points9 points ago

Rolling chair + raised platform in my room = I would die within the first hour of sitting there. No question.

[–]Humdrum_Throne 8 points9 points ago

[–]andrewsmith1986 57 points58 points ago

I'm 6'4", I don't think I'd fit.

[–]Berkbelts 46 points47 points ago

Ahhh, the glories of being 5'5.

[–]enkideridu 25 points26 points ago

You don't hear that everyday

[–]Lillipout 36 points37 points ago

He was talking about his penis.

[–]-dikki 11 points12 points ago

4'11'' here. This place would be a castle for me.

[–]I_AM_SO_HUNGRY 4 points5 points ago

How's the weather down there! HAHAIAMONLYFIVEINCHESTALLER.

[–]Airazz 14 points15 points ago

That's why the foot-end is open. You can hang your feet through that gap. I always do that when I get to sleep in someone else's bed.

[–]imkirok 17 points18 points ago

Yeah but the workstation might be a bit of a squeeze. Also sleeping with your feet hanging off the bed is annoying.

[–]throwawayboner12345 5 points6 points ago

But someone/something might touch your feet.

[–]joshbike 10 points11 points ago

What is this? a dorm for ants?! It needs to be at least 3 times bigger!

[–]chivere 11 points12 points ago

As someone who is 5'3", I want this in MY room. It's me-sized!

[–]pdunson57 19 points20 points ago

So much more room for activities!!!

[–]jack_spankin 14 points15 points ago

Fails the drunk test.

Also, the bed should be on the bottom and storage on top. That way you and your roommie can get laid in relative privacy.

[–]ChappyWagon[!] 4 points5 points ago

I would just live the closet portion and make a desk out of blankets and books. Silently I'd sit and fondle m'self.

[–]CompIetely 9 points10 points ago

Harry Potter's going to live in the space under the bed, I presume?

[–]mygawd 5 points6 points ago

No he'll be living in those cabinets.

[–]goddamntraffic 3 points4 points ago

All I can imagine is the OH SHIT moment when you knock your desk or something and the monitor falls off the back of the table.

[–]shandelion 4 points5 points ago

I love the way dorms are portrayed in design catalogs and tv shows and stuff. It's so unrealistic.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]BloodFarts 3 points4 points ago

Looks like he just googled "cool houses"

[–]MagiesNoms 3 points4 points ago

Looks like he just looked at what made the front page a year ago and reposted: http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/gqhym/now_this_is_one_bedroom_i_wouldnt_mind_living_in/

[–]MeMyselForWho 11 points12 points ago

This was taken at my college 2 years ago IIRC. That's when they first started doing rooms like this anyway.

[–]azrhei 23 points24 points ago

I somehow doubt it was this exact brand set that was being photographed. Perhaps something similar looking, but what is shown in the photo is made by an Italian Art/Design studio called Tumidei - very high end. The nearest I could track down is that their sets are only sold at high end import boutique stores here in the states, and rumors pegged some of the prices in the $7k range.

[–]redditor-for-2-hours 14 points15 points ago

Man, I could probably build my own version of that for less than $500.

[–]MadeWithRealApes 38 points39 points ago

Do it, asshole.

[–]Vraie 8 points9 points ago

Which school?

[–]MeMyselForWho 99 points100 points ago

The Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

Ahem, as the original creator of /r/TDZCFKWCRGAWLTDOSGT/, I'd like to clarify that it's The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSTEqHxh3fI

[–]MeMyselForWho 1 point2 points ago

That's a successful subreddit!

[–]jd111 13 points14 points ago

It needs to be at least THREE times bigger!

[–]fortysevens 2 points3 points ago

This would only end badly for me.

[–]OliverClozov 2 points3 points ago

What is this? a desk for ants?

[–]JJinVenice 1 point2 points ago

No clothes would EVER make it back into the Fap Cave. Hangers, pffft!

[–]EthicalReasoning 0 points1 point ago

why is the fap room downstairs

[–]nibiz878 0 points1 point ago

What is this thing called?

[–]57Chevy 1 point2 points ago

As a drinker, I can only see the impending doom in this picture.

[–]publius4 1 point2 points ago

It's pretty, but I'm pretty sure this thing would never fit in most dorm rooms.

[–]saltnotsugar 1 point2 points ago

A spank tank!

[–]jacobwolfefisher 0 points1 point ago

To the Bat Cave!

[–]Ishnoe 0 points1 point ago

That would be cool till you're too drunk to climb the stairs.

[–]andy1413 1 point2 points ago

Drop pencil = fuck.

[–]Negative_Luck 0 points1 point ago

I could due without that bookshelf.

[–]HelmsDeep 0 points1 point ago

this would pretty much take up 75% of the dorm room i lived in (for 2 people).

[–]justsuckmybutt 1 point2 points ago

Wish this fit in my dorm room

[–]Gentleman_Jack 1 point2 points ago

It's only good if you're 4 feet tall.

[–]Xani 1 point2 points ago

I really wanted a loft bed, up until 6 months of actually having one. It's a bitch to climb a ladder to get into bed, especially when you're drunk.

[–]ajw827 0 points1 point ago

Considering how drunk most of us were in college, this is probably not a good idea.

[–]Wateriswide 0 points1 point ago

I'm such a spaz - I definitely would have ridden the chair off the platform at some point

[–]leif777 -1 points0 points ago

Looks like its a bitch to clean.

[–]leif777 -1 points0 points ago

Looks like its a bitch to clean.

[–]drumcowski 0 points1 point ago

I'm 6'7" and this made me cringe.

[–]nycthbris 0 points1 point ago

I don't, because I'm tall.

[–]mickey_kneecaps 0 points1 point ago

Unless that ceiling is very high, this would be extremely frustrating to me, like living in a Hobbit house.

[–]thankgod4atheists 0 points1 point ago

Do these come in adult sizes?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]leif777 -1 points0 points ago

Looks like its a bitch to clean.

[–]CallMeAnEngineer 1 point2 points ago

"Ahh, finally done with that term paper. Now to just lean back and relax. chair rolls toward stairs "OH HOLY SHIT GOD DAMN MOTHER OF FUCK!"

[–]xTheOOBx 0 points1 point ago

Ugh, I'm 6'2" and I get cramped just looking at this.

[–]bambusaoldhamii 0 points1 point ago

You want a toddler bed in your dorm room?

[–]tardis2464 0 points1 point ago

Does anybody know where I could find this? Please answer!

[–]Metatron_1 0 points1 point ago

Really nice but what if you are drunk?

[–]zublits 0 points1 point ago

Sadly this would only work if your dorm has extremely high ceilings.

[–]agile52 0 points1 point ago

I wish my dorm room was even half the size of that room.

[–]cass_gig 0 points1 point ago

Except when you're stoned and your Twix falls.

[–]Dibo55 0 points1 point ago

I'd roll off the platform with my roll chair and break my dick off.

[–]Pseudophobic 0 points1 point ago

Ceiling is too low.

[–]RDashIsMyDovahkiin 0 points1 point ago

Where do I get one!?!?!?!

[–]inedible_hulk 0 points1 point ago

Dat storage room

[–]MikeyBoldballs 0 points1 point ago

A great way to save space and cock block yourself all at the same time.

[–]Reflextion 0 points1 point ago

Anything i place on the desk will fall.

[–]cheatonus 0 points1 point ago

I can see this causing many injuries while intoxicated.

[–]jpeace42 0 points1 point ago

That's awesome

[–]Solobear -1 points0 points ago

That chair looks bloody uncomfortable.

[–]Proclaim_the_Name 0 points1 point ago

Is that the masturbation room under the bed?

[–]La_Chochacabra 0 points1 point ago

Still takes up 2/3's of my dorm room...

[–]WhosHandIsThis 1 point2 points ago

The hell kind of dorms you live in?

[–]Lopsidedbuilder 1 point2 points ago

The makers of this product don't understand how drunk people work

[–]darthscorn 0 points1 point ago

that masturbation station

[–]boundone -1 points0 points ago

All I see is a grow room and a hotbox...

[–]Zohwithpie 1 point2 points ago

Drake and Josh? anyone?...

[–]YaDamnSkippy 0 points1 point ago

I don't remember dorm rooms being that big

[–]la_capitana 0 points1 point ago

Good luck if there's an earthquake while you're studying

[–]multichrome 0 points1 point ago

Until you run that chair right off the ledge.

[–]spaceymacey 0 points1 point ago

Dropping coffee of your desk would be a bitch to clean up.

[–]greg4242 1 point2 points ago

[–]IllegalToast 0 points1 point ago

The fap room underneath

[–]wendigo-go 0 points1 point ago

Dorm you say? Turn that fucking closet space into a full-on masturbatory/shagcave.

[–]thelegitpat 0 points1 point ago

A friend of mine has a bed set like this it's really cool and the bottom part is great to hotbox in.

[–]VETTE_50_TH 0 points1 point ago

For a smurf maybe.

[–]Jblazed110 0 points1 point ago

Fap fortress... I like it!

[–]Irony_ 0 points1 point ago

You wish for this now but just wait until a MOTHERFUCKING EARTHQUAKE comes along and fucks your shit up.

[–]Artemissister 0 points1 point ago

Am I weird that I'd prefer sleeping in the little room under the bed?

[–]BLANK23 0 points1 point ago

I'd fall off that damn chair drunk.

[–]I_WANT_TO_RAPE_YOU 1 point2 points ago

How do you have sex on that bed? It looks very small and if anyone falls, they will be in a world of hurt.

[–]Blitz55 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, if I was in college when I was 8 years old id want that too. It looks tiny as hell. And uncomfortable to sleep on. And it looks to high, you would have to get a really short girl to ride you.

[–]skilas 0 points1 point ago

This was basically my dream bed when I was a kid. Love it.

[–]dixons1 1 point2 points ago

I'd live under the stairs like Harry Potter.

[–]AlecMittens 0 points1 point ago

Your bedroom would need vaulted ceilings or something.

[–]jtv13 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like a slight problem if you come back like most college kids do on friday and saturday nights

[–]dillydemo 0 points1 point ago

i would never fit in that tiny ass bed

[–]chytri 0 points1 point ago

It's like a golden fap pedestal...