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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]All_Your_Base 894 points895 points ago

There was an earlier thread on the definition of a true friend. Thank you for upgrading my answer.

Edit: Link to that thread

[–]subminute 101 points102 points ago

Now that's fucking team work!

[–]mamacrocker 41 points42 points ago

What's you're favorite dish?

[–]subminute 41 points42 points ago

Im not gonna make it but I'll order it from zanzabar!

[–]Ilikeskittlesss 2 points3 points ago

And then I'm gunna love you completely.

[–]JDawg2332 10 points11 points ago

What's your favorite posish?

[–]albino_ryno 7 points8 points ago

Whats your favorite posish, thats cool with me its not my favorite but ill do it for you

[–]mark_wooten 2 points3 points ago

Looks like there's lasagna in my teeth. Would you get it out for me?

[–]KABLAMO17 2 points3 points ago

That's fuckin' teamwork!

[–]boss1000 101 points102 points ago

As a kid, Louis CK laid himself on top of one of his male friends so his friend could get off on the pressure.

And you think you can even compare to that kind of dedication to friendship.

EDIT: Sorry, Louis. You'd think being such a fan that I'd not mess that up.

[–]fauxpunk 18 points19 points ago

Wait, what? Was this in his stand up or was it in an interview?

[–]JewChooTrain89 15 points16 points ago

It was in a round table type talk with him, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, and Rick Gervais. The video sir!

[–]PortlandoCalrissian 2 points3 points ago

That was good, but I don't recall him telling that story during it.

[–]drunkirish 14 points15 points ago

It's in one of his stand up shows.

[–]ueptvoovtpeu 33 points34 points ago

and considering most comedians stand up is based on truth.. it's probably a legit story

[–]Dalans 2 points3 points ago

My cat is sick right now, yeah, he has diarrhea. I took him to the vet and the vet is like "well what have you been feeding him?" and I said...Diarrhea.

EAT IT KITTY, EAT IT THE JOKE HAS TO BE REAL -Nick Swardson

[–]ueptvoovtpeu 2 points3 points ago

I said "most" shrugs

[–]ByteSizedBits 2 points3 points ago

[–]friedsushi87 12 points13 points ago

oh God...

When I was little my friend always asked me to put a blanket on top of him then bury him in heavy furniture and toys.

You're saying this was sexual?

[–]youstolemyname 2 points3 points ago

Nah. Pressure is nice though. Its calming.

Also this, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hug_machine

[–]spankymuffin 6 points7 points ago

As a kid, Louie CK laid himself on top of one of his male friends so his friend could get off on the pressure.

Wait... what?

How did he get off?

[–]Tactful 275 points276 points ago

Friendzone level: I smell like urine but it's okay because you noticed me.

[–]All_Your_Base 218 points219 points ago

Or future wingman.

[–]Tactful 250 points251 points ago

Yes, I fondly remember those nights where I had sex with the hot girl of the pair whilst my friend crouched on the floor propping me up for a better angle.

[–]All_Your_Base 65 points66 points ago

You too?

[–]Tactful 62 points63 points ago

Yes, that was the band we were listening to. Joshua Tree has some great sex-tracks.

[–]VancouverSucks 17 points18 points ago

One Tree Hill

[–]canuckfanatic 22 points23 points ago

I want to upvote you, but I don't like your username, so I'll leave you alone...for now.

[–]go_canucks_go 2 points3 points ago

I'll join you.

[–]sloaninator 3 points4 points ago

Now apologize you two.

[–]biskits1 2 points3 points ago

Still haven't found what I'm looking for.

[–]blindedbybears 2 points3 points ago

Yeah we had some great times but now I have to go to the chiropractor twice a month.

[–]coupdetat 7 points8 points ago

I got your back bro

[–]pastryarchitect 2 points3 points ago

I got some on your back bro.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Koshesha 2 points3 points ago

Bros before hose.

[–]Davaldo 5 points6 points ago

True friend level: piss stool

[–]Wingly 290 points291 points ago

The guy on the bottom...does he realize that is a piss splash zone?

[–]stb14808 582 points583 points ago

There's no splash zone in the bro zone.

[–]HasFuckedYourMom 46 points47 points ago

I beg to differ.

[–]Quintuss 16 points17 points ago

Those in the front row, or underneath, will get wet.

[–]DomTheWrench 14 points15 points ago

He's about to learn a valuable lesson in gravity

[–]baculumsucker 16 points17 points ago

And why are they both barefoot!?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Poorly_Timed_Kormac 2 points3 points ago

Puddles of piss bar my path....

BUT THE WILL OF BEAR GRYLLS IS STRONGER!!!

[–]RudigherJones 277 points278 points ago

I cant believe I just upvoted a pic of two young boys in the bathroom.

[–]tedparkes 111 points112 points ago

That moment when you look a little boy taking a pee and smile.

[–]mainsoup 83 points84 points ago

it reminds me of this

[–]sltkr 44 points45 points ago

4chan. Full of normal people.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

Doesn't everyone put self imposed rules on their chars in games like Fallout? I remember I made a white supremacist one game, the obvious rules being I had kill every black person I saw. Also if a white fellow asked me to do anything I had to do it.

Another one where I was a girl. The constraints being I had to go to the bathroom at least 2 times a day, and always with at least 1 other girl in the bathroom (drinking the water qualified as peeing). I also had to dress sexier then any other girl in the room I was in (outdoors I could wear whatever). Last constraint was that if a male asked me to do something I had to do it, as I knew my place in the world.

My favourite was playing a black fellow. I had to rob people for everything. I had to take quests and never complete them. And lastly I had to drink liquor all day every day and take all the drugs I could.

[–]sltkr 7 points8 points ago

Allow me to direct you to this here board. I think you'll feel right at home.

[–]finalri0t 34 points35 points ago

Whatever Sandusky... We know you can't quit.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]masterwit 13 points14 points ago

Personally I believe we should not be setting our threshold of "bad" at that level: what you speak of far surpassed "bad" and went straight to "worst".

Rabble rabble rabble something about higher standards.

Have a nice day.

[–]i_cite_references 6 points7 points ago

This is a reference to an old Reddit thread in which someone admitted to keeping a shoebox of semen. Despite his efforts to stop and destroy the box, he is unable to. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4imcva

[–]navjot94 7 points8 points ago

Oh no, not that shit again

[–]jesus_swept 4 points5 points ago

Really, if they're handing out certificates for the secret santa, everyone who upvoted the cumbox should also get a certificate.

You were there man.

[–]wiffleball_lgnd 7 points8 points ago

Stay out of the PlayPenn

[–]Tactful 583 points584 points ago

So when children do it it's hilarious, but when I do it to help out other patrons suddenly we have to get security involved.

[–]SensibleMadness 314 points315 points ago

I think the problem was that you were face-up at the time.

[–]Tactful 196 points197 points ago

That may have been a part of the problem. I thought my erection provided a sort of step for them.

[–]finalri0t 93 points94 points ago

Stand on my penis.

[–]apox64928 60 points61 points ago

You know... For extra inches.

[–]Advantageous 127 points128 points ago

You know... For an extra inch.

FTFY

[–]Sixtyn9ne 42 points43 points ago

It's an inch? Lucky, thats huge!

[–]J_berrykins 1 point2 points ago

Inchimeter- unit of my penis.

[–]eldorann 28 points29 points ago

Four extra inches

[–]risingshadow0 6 points7 points ago

This kills the penis.

[–]not_a_goldfish 43 points44 points ago

Wasn't there a post some time ago where a guy had carved out the bottom of a urinal and then stuck his head through from the other side of the wall so dudes would pee in his mouth?

[–]PushThatFatKid 130 points131 points ago

I don't know, man. That doesn't really sound like the type of thing you'd find on the internet.

[–]IDontShareMyUsername 20 points21 points ago

Can you post the link in a reply to me? I need new masturbation material.

[–]aborted_cause 3 points4 points ago

And in the womens stall.

[–]ibeinthesea 2 points3 points ago

six feet tall lying down.

[–]Unidan 88 points89 points ago

I just wish someone would call me "sir" without adding "you're making a scene."

[–]Mass_Appeal 31 points32 points ago

good thing you're on reddit, where you can be retardedly called "sir" ad nauseum

[–]Oxxide 15 points16 points ago

thank you sir.

[–]moparornocar 8 points9 points ago

You weren't suppose to try and hold it for them.

[–]Naphthos 98 points99 points ago

This could end badly.

[–]XLBentoBox 83 points84 points ago

Multiple ways: Piss everywhere. or OP having to explain to another why he was in the bathroom taking pictures of 2 young kids using a urinal.

But regardless.. this is pretty awesome teamwork hahah.

[–]AndyRooney 167 points168 points ago

[–]tedparkes 73 points74 points ago

NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS!

[–]packerbacker1221 5 points6 points ago

You cross because then you're MOTHER FUCKING PEE X-MEN!

[–]eldorann 1 point2 points ago

That would be bad.

[–]mastermike14 7 points8 points ago

Ive done this in elementary, 3rd grade. Ah, to young and innocent again.....

[–]AfterGloww 27 points28 points ago

I think you might want to look at the comic one more time.

[–]mastermike14 1 point2 points ago

we never crossed streams or pissed in each others mouths but we did see who could pee the farthest

[–]AfterGloww 6 points7 points ago

Alright just checking.

[–]AceVenturaPD 6 points7 points ago

Swordfight!

[–]floreal999 3 points4 points ago

That escalated quickly

[–]ParrotDrumStickBitch 21 points22 points ago

I have never laughed that much at a comic. Thank you!

[–]JBOSS_08 18 points19 points ago

I've never thrown up that much because comic

[–]Sixtyn9ne 12 points13 points ago

I kept it together until the me gusta troll at the end

[–]ihatethispart 65 points66 points ago

I never wanted children until I realized they were stackable. Must save on space.

[–]dawgiesman1 3 points4 points ago

Except you would save even more space if you didn't have children at all..

[–]JasonGD1982 269 points270 points ago

I really hope those are your cousins and not just two random children.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]jamintime 59 points60 points ago

...and sharing it with the internet. Don't forget that part!

[–]HasFuckedYourMom 16 points17 points ago

What else would he do with it?

[–]jamintime 36 points37 points ago

save it and give it to his cousins when they are finally old enough to do a "then and now" photo and post it themselves!

[–]Bunyungtung 10 points11 points ago

Stick around for10 years and you'll see it.

[–]patrickmurphyphoto 14 points15 points ago

I'm one of the cousins who pissed on eachother AMA

[–]divinesleeper 44 points45 points ago

He probably told them to do it too.

"Now pee. PEE FOR YOUR COUSIN'S DELICIOUS KARMA."

[–]leex0 0 points1 point ago

[–]DoTheEvolution 9 points10 points ago

Why do you hope thats the case?

Would it be felony or something if I would go in to public bathroom and took that pic if I saw it?

[–]SUMPDIDDLYUMP 68 points69 points ago

Second cousin was below the fold on my browser, so at first I thought, "Why is OP taking pictures of a young boy in a bathroom?"

Then I scrolled and chuckled.

[–]MaviMaji 7 points8 points ago

Interesting, similarly the second cousin was below the fold on my browser and my first thought was "Why is that kid feverishly masturbating into that urinal?"

[–]RanksUrLawls 0 points1 point ago

[–]alavanterx 5 points6 points ago

Wat.

[–]steamed__hams 40 points41 points ago

Oh god, they're touching everything.

[–]ayePALINDROMEeye 20 points21 points ago

FIRST thing that went through my mind. My son will tell you that my only rule in the public bathroom is "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

[–]finalri0t 40 points41 points ago

Please instruct me on how to hover around public restrooms like your son.

[–]redhousebythebog 13 points14 points ago

When they were smaller, my son and daughter would go to the bathroom together. I heard the toilet flush and hands being washed. no big deal. They were headed to the bathroom one day and I said "well, you can't go at the same time" and my daughter responded that one sits forward and the other backwards.

[–]ihatethispart 36 points37 points ago

I'm concerned that they're both barefoot in a public restroom. o_O

[–]blackmetallic 7 points8 points ago

There are TWO guys on my floor in my office building that poop barefoot.

[–]teamherosquad 8 points9 points ago

they take their shoes off at their desk, walk into the bathroom barefoot, poop, and then come back out like they're not fucking weirdos?

[–]David_Coppafeel 10 points11 points ago

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” - Robert Bloch

[–]dotakiller 39 points40 points ago

That is the broest of bro moments.

[–]UncleTedGenneric 30 points31 points ago

Broments.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

Imagine the conversation they had to get this point. hehe...

[–]HereForTheBuffet 46 points47 points ago

So now, did you walk in the bathroom with your camera ready or did you just stand there and make them wait while you fiddled through your phone to take the photo? Either way seems pretty odd.

[–]ruvb00m 40 points41 points ago

He told them to stack like that and pretend to urinate for the camera, because it would be funny and get him lots of karma on the internet.

[–]Screaming_Monkey 5 points6 points ago

Thank you. Not to mention the kids apparently don't even notice him.

[–]bcs214 16 points17 points ago

This is quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen

[–]FlashRage 3 points4 points ago

You must be a woman. And not remotely afraid of germs.

[–]idk112345 7 points8 points ago

dude it's just pee, get over it

[–]hairysachs 26 points27 points ago

Teamwork. This is actually awesome haha.

[–]All_Your_Base 14 points15 points ago

"Teamwork"

Perfect caption for this as a new motivational poster.

[–]Wolfgang23 3 points4 points ago

"That's fuckin teaammmwoork!"

[–]LBK2013 5 points6 points ago

[–]jungl3j1m 12 points13 points ago

I've always wondered whether the lower public urinals were for short people or well-endowed people. Thanks for settling that.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]truth_hurts_lol 32 points33 points ago

Thanks for promising that you're not a pedophile, I was worried for a second.

[–]i_am_new_there 16 points17 points ago

I hung up on 911 when I saw his comment. they called me back to ask what the emergency was so I just said my local McDonald's is low on french fries.

[–]Equipmunk 8 points9 points ago

I was expecting to see something about them wrestling.

I'm glad I didn't

[–]SANAFABICH 6 points7 points ago

I believe we are all now in some kind of FBI watchlist.

[–]djramrod 5 points6 points ago

That kid on the bottom is a real bro. +10 man points

[–]teh_fearless_leader 5 points6 points ago

Clicked this link, expecting the worst. Turned out better than expected.

[–]hsn407 3 points4 points ago

Oh god, those hands will never be clean again.

[–]Ted_From_Accounting 6 points7 points ago

"now stand on his back just like that and pretend to use the uirinal, uncle needs karma"

[–]NapkinLD3 3 points4 points ago

"Okay just stand on your brother's back and pretend to pee. Cousin OP needs his daily dose of karma." oh, op

[–]Jigressa 2 points3 points ago

Oh man I thought they were going to be "wrestling"

[–]Wrinkled38 2 points3 points ago

Gives a whole new definition to "Helping out a brother" :D

[–]unireed 6 points7 points ago

his poor hands on the tile....FOR GOD'S SAKE WASH YOUR HANDS

[–]fokfok 6 points7 points ago

you know he won't

[–]Bordak 5 points6 points ago

Baby Jeffrey! FOREVER UNCLEAN

[–]horse_n1pples 6 points7 points ago

True homies

[–]ubomw 8 points9 points ago

Stay silent, otherwise...

[–]tedparkes 1 point2 points ago

I hope he doesn't Dribble at the end :/

[–]Random-Miser 2 points3 points ago

Experiencing trickle down economics first hand.

[–]extra_silence 2 points3 points ago

At least they're not wrestling.

[–]daisypusher 1 point2 points ago

[–]balathustrius 2 points3 points ago

"Trust."

[–]xiandrii 2 points3 points ago

"Now that's fuckin' teamwork"

[–]Barren23 0 points1 point ago

No stall to use a real toilet at without having to stand on one another?

[–]scu 1 point2 points ago

"Water's cold."

"Deep too."

[–]1007519 1 point2 points ago

I read the title as "Walked on my little cousins" and was hoping to see a picture of somebody stepping on small children. Was disappoint.

[–]kitchen_clinton 0 points1 point ago

What's with urinals being placed almost at ceiling level?

[–]Moidah 1 point2 points ago

And you had your camera ready???????

[–]GoodTimesDadIsland 2 points3 points ago

I don't know if taking pictures of kids peeing is such a good idea

[–]Ralinda4 0 points1 point ago

I didn't scroll down far enough to see he was standing on the other kid, so I thought it was a picture of a kid masturbating into a urinal. This is reddit though, so I wasn't surprised.

[–]absinthe-minded 2 points3 points ago

creative little guys. I hate to go into a bathroom with my son and they don't have any lower urinals.

[–]Blizzard01 1 point2 points ago

I hope the one on the top didn't accidentally dribble on the one at the bottom :)

[–]jooose 2 points3 points ago

eww why are they barefoot?

[–]ILovePopPunk 2 points3 points ago

You just took a picture of a little boy peeing

[–]brobythelake 0 points1 point ago

child ingenuity at its finest.

[–]juicewaffle 4 points5 points ago

Not to go all Howie Mandel on this thread, but the kid giving the boost needs to be washed from head to toe IMMEDIATELY

[–]AndyRooney 1 point2 points ago

[–]formerlylurkinlurker 3 points4 points ago

Why are they barefoot in a public urinal?

[–]pmar 3 points4 points ago

You're not posting the pic with the look of disgust and ensuing fight after the shake and drips?

[–]MauiWowieOwie 3 points4 points ago

You should see how they poop.

[–]ThatsMisterDickToYou 5 points6 points ago

"Where have you been?".

"Oh you know. In the toilet. Taking pictures. Of my cousins".

[–]spark_dragon 4 points5 points ago

  1. OP walks into restroom with camera in hand.
  2. OP takes pictures of kids going to the restroom.

SMH

[–]crocboss 0 points1 point ago

hmm... I wonder who is the younger brother?

[–]Dunmor 1 point2 points ago

eww. Hands on the floor, that's just disgusting

[–]I_Worship_Science 1 point2 points ago

That needs to be a movie poster

[–]branded 0 points1 point ago

Kids aren't known for good aiming!

[–]RealBean 0 points1 point ago

Welp I guess I figured out another motivation for wanting to get rich.

[–]MentalMutiny 1 point2 points ago

Purell

[–]griffith12 0 points1 point ago

Fucking genius.

[–]Goremageddon 0 points1 point ago

Fucking teamwork.

[–]JFrey 1 point2 points ago

That is one brave little man right there.

[–]lifeisastupidpoohead 1 point2 points ago

I would not get dribbled on for anyone.

[–]houstonUA6 0 points1 point ago

Awesome while absolutely disgusting. Went to wash my hands.

[–]Hustle77 1 point2 points ago

This is really going to help them when they are at a job interview and they are asked about their problem solving skills..

[–]thelandofnarnia 0 points1 point ago

A new version of leapfrog?

[–]reallynoname 0 points1 point ago

best budy....'a friend in need is a friend indeed'

[–]Ormusn2o 1 point2 points ago

You were fast with that photo.

[–]_Epidemic_ 0 points1 point ago

True team work.

[–]ObidiahWTFJerwalk 1 point2 points ago

He ain't heavy, he's just urinating.*

*Failed to break into the top 40 charts until they reworked the lyrics.

[–]Tubthumping 1 point2 points ago

Add 10 years to them and this would be in a different subreddit.

[–]JustFucked 1 point2 points ago

Revolutionaries.... One day, these 2 shall rule the world

[–]hcollins91 0 points1 point ago

yeahhh, tell the one on the bottom not to put his hands there in the future.

[–]ashtonanne 0 points1 point ago

ingenuity and team work they will rule the world someday

[–]strawberryflvr 1 point2 points ago

That's fucking team work.