this post was submitted on
1,583 points (52% like it)
17,679 up votes 16,096 down votes

funny

subscribe2,445,839 readers

10,596 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

Added because /r/funny is viewed by users who may be underage, at work etc. Users Submitting Dick Pics etc and Racist submissions or comments and Inappropriate content will be BANNEDInstantly, No If's and or but's. - Those submissions belong in /r/nsfwfunny or elsewhere on reddit - Not here.

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 274

[–]ahotw 217 points218 points ago

For those using a screen reader (without OCR software), the ad reads:

Sponsored Links

The Braille Superstore

Thousands of Braille products, many

of which you've never seen before.

[–]gwarster 35 points36 points ago

I told one of my blind coworkers about this. He laughed and said that he was going to search for it when he gets home.

[–]valeriob 29 points30 points ago

According to Facebook, your coworker and approximately 3 billion other blind people have seen this ad.

[–]trixter192 25 points26 points ago

TIL there are approximately 3 billion blind people in the world.

[–]MentalOverload 17 points18 points ago

And they can see!

[–]penkap1 10 points11 points ago

Because Jesus.

[–]valeriob 3 points4 points ago

Did you say Abe Lincoln?

[–]mkdir 7 points8 points ago

No, I said "Hey Blinkin"!

[–]Gwath -1 points0 points ago

not a Jew...Ahchoo

[–]cellskey 61 points62 points ago

I don't see the joke here.

[–]langis_on 51 points52 points ago

It's right in front of your eyes!

[–]KushCub 3 points4 points ago

Don't leave me in the dark, what's the joke guys?

[–]ImPhone -1 points0 points ago

I can't see what's so funny about making fun of the disabled.

[–]aznricemaker 13 points14 points ago

But I see what you did there.

[–]niomosy 2 points3 points ago

The blind leading the blind?

[–]Shadax 83 points84 points ago

jksdlaw074t4=-aelvs

[–]Take42 40 points41 points ago

That's heartwarming. Thank you for brightening my day with that enlightening tale.

[–]zild3d 21 points22 points ago

my : is exploding

[–]kapncobs 3 points4 points ago

tilde can suck my vertical

what

[–]hj17 0 points1 point ago

Tilde can suck my vertical bar while I smoke some number sign through a slash comma I'm not no underscorer she'll want some dollar sign dollar sign dollar sign after she sucks my vertical bar while I take a slash and pound sign at her tits.

Uh...

[–]Fine_Structure 1 point2 points ago

smoking hash through a slash to the power of comma made even less sense

[–]flyinthesoup 3 points4 points ago

You should get that checked out.

[–]duBiYou 0 points1 point ago

It's ok it happened to me to. It like herpes. If you ignore it, it goes away

[–]PlayingWithCum 10 points11 points ago

..:::.:..::. . .. : . ;.

[–]whitewateractual 0 points1 point ago

Thanks, I couldn't see the image.

[–]whoopzzz 1 point2 points ago

never seen before.

Oh you.

[–]tolstoyleo 117 points118 points ago

I think you mean thanks Braillebookstore.com, it's not as if google creates those ads themselves, all they do is serve them.

[–]scarblah 5 points6 points ago

We wrote some creative AdWords ads for some clients and found that (sadly) they did not perform as the typical ones...here are my two favorites:

Your Mom Likes the [Chair Name]
It's Where She Sits
When She's Not in My Lap

[Chair Name] Is Ergonomic
Don't Know What That Means,
But Neither Do You

[–]Toymachinary 46 points47 points ago

perhaps "ALL of which you've never seen before" would have been more appropriate.

[–]Ultimate_Timmeh 10 points11 points ago

Well, I guess it all depends on whether or not you are born blind.

[–]petsounds94 9 points10 points ago

Those with sight do tend to dabble in braille products. You know, just in case.

[–]vteckickedin 5 points6 points ago

"It's not fair, I had time now. All the time in the world. It's not fair!"

Not happening to me, thanks Braille.

[–]You_butt_pirate 2 points3 points ago

Never before seen!

[–]PhantomPhun 0 points1 point ago

But the word "most" is funnier because it implies some degree of success for the visually impared. Which is even more insensitive and funny. "All" simply isn't as humorous, intentional or not.

[–]christballs 0 points1 point ago

Why do some people think that the blind don't have friends and relatives who shop for them?

[–]Topherborz 17 points18 points ago

that's Brailliant!

[–]bronymobile 5 points6 points ago

I thought it was a little hard to see

[–]GoAwayStupid 3 points4 points ago

See what??

[–]Ihadacow 16 points17 points ago

You've also never seen this ad...

[–]SLO_growing 3 points4 points ago

Well someone who isn't blind has to set up stuff for those who are blind right? So wouldn't they have to purchase it too? However I don't think it would be through google adds, those things are hilarious sometimes.

[–]neoncp 2 points3 points ago

When dynamic insertion goes wrong.

[–]Sharrakor 5 points6 points ago

Reminds me of somebody who searched "black people" on Google, and got back a dynamic insertion ad "Buy black people on eBay."

[–]happy_khan 1 point2 points ago

Aldous Huxley, author of Brave New World, learned Braille so that he could rest his eyes and still read. Huxley's eyes pained him when he read too much and his eyesight was failing. One of the benefits of learning Braille, Huxley said, was being able to read in the bed in the dark.

[–]DarknessFallsOverUs 37 points38 points ago

People who are blind use text recognition software which reads out and describes the web pages along with various other things on their computers, for them. This isn't really funny if you've bothered to learn actual useful facts.

[–]burf 209 points210 points ago

I laughed at the "many of which you've never seen before" in the description. I assumed that's what the post was aboot, and thus it is funny/relevant.

[–]gulpeg 27 points28 points ago

"it is funny" said the blind man to his deaf wife

[–]Hotrootsoup 9 points10 points ago

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man after the mute made a profound statement.

[–]manifestiny 4 points5 points ago

"I see" said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw.

[–]Zondraxor 2 points3 points ago

"I see." said the blind man as he pissed in the wind. "It's all coming back to me, now."

[–]vteckickedin 0 points1 point ago

"I sea", said the young man to Earnest Hemingway.

[–]6Revolvers 2 points3 points ago

But he accidentally picked up a dildo and a puppy. And ...

[–]mowgley 1 point2 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]rabidsi 0 points1 point ago

then they both decided to open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

[–]Large_banana_hammock 4 points5 points ago

Such a polite comment from our canadian friend burf.

[–]Kvraj 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for pointing out, somehow that flew right over my head...

[–]chrismorin 30 points31 points ago

that wasn't the joke...

[–]Qxzkjp 5 points6 points ago

Wow, you deserve an award for missing the joke in what must be the most pompous and arrogant way possible.

Slow clap

[–]i_love_cake_day 18 points19 points ago

This isn't really funny if you've bothered to learn actual useful facts.

Hahah you didn't get the joke while calling other people stupid for not getting the joke.

[–]Its_Be_A_Spork 1 point2 points ago

[–]CharlieCharlie 3 points4 points ago

whoosh

[–]Wet_Walrus 0 points1 point ago

Hahah right over his head.

[–]Zabooni 24 points25 points ago

many of which you've never seen before.

This is still ironic nonetheless

[–]IAMnotMcKaylaMaroney 7 points8 points ago

True but does it also read/speak the nice little description too? I could see that being the funny part.

[–]Trollatio_Caine 2 points3 points ago

We sell many of life's little ironies here! Come take a look!

[–]hawkian 2 points3 points ago

Oh yeah, Buzz Killington?

"Deaf? Come listen in on our discussion of new lip-reading devices! Unheard-of prices!"

[–]potato1 9 points10 points ago

Not to mention people without visual impairment may have people in their lives who do have visual impairment. It's not like sighted people are incapable of buying braille materials as gifts for others.

[–]emperorOfTheUniverse 2 points3 points ago

I wonder if part of the suck of being blind is that anytime your birthday or Christmas rolls around, all you get is 'blind stuff' like braille books, canes, sunglasses, etc because the first thing people think of when shopping for you is 'oh he/she is blind. They need blind people things.' instead of something actually fun and new that doesn't pertain to their handicap.

[–]ShanduCanDo 1 point2 points ago

I love the mental image of somebody sitting at their computer and thinking "hmm, does [blind person] already own a cane? I better get them one, just in case."

Then, on Christmas, [blind person] just opens package after package of canes, and the family, getting increasingly uncomfortable, starts describiling them – "Oh, a golf club! That will come in handy. Ooh, I've never seen a pool cue like that! Haha, Uncle Henry, you goof  – he already owns a cane!"

[–]PhantomPhun -1 points0 points ago

If you've ever related to a blind person in real life, their surroundings are filled with all the regular stuff everyone has, so no - they rarely get "blind oriented" gifts as the default.

[–]lolcatrt 3 points4 points ago

I am a sighted person who buys products for people with disabilities, so it's almost guaranteed that I will someday buy a Braille product for someone with a visual impairment.

I still laughed at this joke, though.

[–]PhantomPhun -1 points0 points ago

Well, yeah. Most jokes (intentional or not) rarely apply 100% to the public at large. A certain perspective is necessary.

[–]Pays4Porn 10 points11 points ago

Most jokes aren't funny if you think about them enough.

[–]Jonny_Watts 16 points17 points ago

Some aren't funny until you think about them too much.

[–]BeardsNBarley 2 points3 points ago

Some things are funny that aren't jokes at all.

enlightenment

[–]sh0ch 0 points1 point ago

Some just aren't really funny with or without thinking about them.

[–]benihana68 2 points3 points ago

Some jokes aren't funny if you don't understand the funny part.

[–]yargd 2 points3 points ago

I used to work with a blind and deaf man. These are also quite useful: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refreshable_Braille_display

[–]kon324[S] 4 points5 points ago

As an IT support professional, I know all about programs like JAWS and other screen readers. Its just Google's/the ad's wording that makes it sound silly/dickish.

[–]preske 39 points40 points ago

As an IT professional you should know google has zero to do with this.

[–]bcarle 11 points12 points ago

I feel like its intentionally phrased that way for the amusement of blind people. It's their eyes that don't work, not their sense of humor.

[–]bw1870 4 points5 points ago

Of course it is. This is so obviously to be taken as a joke by whoever wrote the ad, I'm not sure why this entire part of the thread even exists.

[–]bcarle 2 points3 points ago

I think the debate is whether it's a cruel joke at the expense of the blind, or a funny joke for the enjoyment of the blind. I'm going for the latter because I have faith in the decency of online copywriters.

[–]bw1870 6 points7 points ago

Also, why would a store catering to the blind intentionally try to offend them?

[–]bcarle 0 points1 point ago

Niche marketing to self-loathing blind people?

[–]PhantomPhun 0 points1 point ago

Not necessarily. Advertising, and particularly the less than stellar quality of adwords is often filled with non-sequitors that are totally not intended. The English language is complex and full of opportunity to get it wrong or twisted in intention.

[–]Katelyn89 0 points1 point ago

Some of the most hilarious people I know are blind.

[–]brettins 1 point2 points ago

I've said this elsewhere, but: Blind people use the verb "see" interchangeably with "experience". A blind watches / sees a movie and calls it that like everyone else. That said, for people not in the know, the joke is funny - so this post works! 1 upvote for you!

[–]akatherder 0 points1 point ago

thatsNOTthejoke.jpg

[–]Intrepid00 0 points1 point ago

Braille on drive thru ATMs still funny.

[–]carknerd 0 points1 point ago

I work with such software in my job, but I still laughed at this joke. It's still darkly funny, IMO.

[–]BobHope4477 1 point2 points ago

Cant you let a joke be funny? "A horse walks into a bar and says..." "um, actually if you've bothered to learn actual usefully facts you would know horses lack throat muscles capable of replicating human speech."

[–]Hadynosaurus_Rex 0 points1 point ago

Also, people forget that someone has to MAKE braille.

I work in a sign shop, and a large portion of my job is to make ADA-compliant braille signs. This ad shows up on our suppliers' sites sometimes, and is actually relevant and useful.

[–]Shadax -1 points0 points ago

Pretty sure they will still have a bit of trouble seeing the products.

[–]dontneedyourkarma 0 points1 point ago

I would be terrified of this many orange-reds

[–]andrewsmith1986 2 points3 points ago

How do blind people find where braille is, anyway?

[–]professorhazard 20 points21 points ago

I appreciate that the ATM has braille on it, but I'm terrified of the blind person that drives up to it.

[–]Thomsenite 9 points10 points ago

All ATMs have braille because it's easier to have one standard model for drive in and sidewalks rather than have two separate ones.

[–]professorhazard 5 points6 points ago

BONUS QUESTION: How do blind people see what the electronic screen is displaying?

[–]Rilnac 20 points21 points ago

Most ATMs have a headphone jack

[–]professorhazard 0 points1 point ago

You're a winner!

[–]Sharrakor 5 points6 points ago

Bonus bonus question: IS YOU IN L~O~V~E?!

[–]Its_Be_A_Spork 2 points3 points ago

allofmywat.jpg

[–]Sharrakor 1 point2 points ago

You can tag people with Reddit Enhancement Suite, and attach a link to that tag so you don't forget why you tagged them. I thought Professor Hazard's story was funny, so I tagged him about it.

And what better day to relive his past comments than Professor Hazard's reddit birthday?

[–]professorhazard 1 point2 points ago

AAOOO!!

[–]cbarone1 2 points3 points ago

This, and, you know, rear driver side windows.

[–]themightypierre 1 point2 points ago

Freakonomics ? Sure I've heard that somewhere.

[–]lolcatrt 1 point2 points ago

My previous supervisor was blind, and he would back up the car for his wife.

[–]Fangs78 1 point2 points ago

TIL americans have drive in atms also...

[–]carknerd 0 points1 point ago

Depends on what they are using it for, perhaps they get it from a library or academic institution, or delivered to them by a national organization for the blind. There is a certain amount of assistance involved by other people in any case but the internet has made blind people a lot more independent.

[–]Hadynosaurus_Rex 0 points1 point ago

On signs it's almost always near the bottom, below the text, which must also be raised according to ADA standards. The same applies to suite numbers as well.

4.30.4 Raised and Brailled Characters and Pictorial Symbol Signs (Pictograms). Letters and numerals shall be raised 1/32 in (0.8 mm) minimum, upper case, sans serif or simple serif type and shall be accompanied with Grade 2 Braille. Raised characters shall be at least 5/8 in (16 mm) high, but no higher than 2 in (50 mm). Pictograms shall be accompanied by the equivalent verbal description placed directly below the pictogram. The border dimension of the pictogram shall be 6 in (152 mm) minimum in height.

The Braille itself is actually standardized:

Dot diameter: .059 in. Inter-dot spacing: .090 in. Horizontal separation between cells: .241 in. Vertical separation between cells: .395 in.

So it's pretty easy to find.

There's some extremely dry and boring reading available, if you're interested.

[–]savior6 2 points3 points ago

that's brailley nice of them

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 3 points4 points ago

.. . .. . .. . .
. . .
. .. . .. . ..

[–]Uncoolio 14 points15 points ago

I don't see what you did there.

[–]JordanBelcher 0 points1 point ago

From what I just looked up, that says: "PÉÖÂKMÒ". Am I just really bad at reading braille?

[–]itsroryBbellows 0 points1 point ago

Ha, I see what you did there..oh wait..

[–]igotfudged 1 point2 points ago

[–]Its_Be_A_Spork 0 points1 point ago

Too bad the blind didn't.

[–]nismomonkey 2 points3 points ago

of which I haven't seen before? Well of course... I am blind. Fuck you Google.

[–]BackOff_ImAScientist 0 points1 point ago

"many of which you've never seen before." Braille books is trolling...

[–]Vasilik 1 point2 points ago

A gif? Really

[–]vteckickedin 0 points1 point ago

I didn't even see that.

[–]BostonSxE 1 point2 points ago

As a heads up ads on Google are written by someone who works in Pay-Per-Click (PPC) marketing, not Google.

[–]spartanburger91 -1 points0 points ago

I don't see what's so funny here.

[–]vitorizzo 1 point2 points ago

i havent seen internet ads in years

[–]no_heroes 0 points1 point ago

i think they need a new copywriter.

[–]Temporaryy -1 points0 points ago

Google, Upvote

[–]jobs-ca 1 point2 points ago

Not everyone will see the funny side..Ha Ha.

[–]Okhranka -1 points0 points ago

I'm on my iPod right now. I thought it was a real ad, and waited 10 seconds for the page to load...

[–]kuiper3 0 points1 point ago

What if you're buying a surprise gift for someone blind and use incognito?

[–]Face_4_Radio 0 points1 point ago

Many of which you've never seen before.

[–]Jesus-TF-Christ 0 points1 point ago

Its not that stupid. If a blind person asks for a book as an xmas/birthday where are you going to look? Google.

[–]w00tski -1 points0 points ago

Lmao that's actually jokes

[–]KoalaDancin22 1 point2 points ago

I don't get it.

[–]cyborgsoup -1 points0 points ago

Our vast selection can't be beat, come and see for yourself.

[–]fr1ck 1 point2 points ago

"which you've never seen before"

I lol'd.

[–]UltimateKarmaWhore 0 points1 point ago

Hopefully not all blind people are that narrow-minded.

[–]spiral_in_the_sky 0 points1 point ago

FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: FW: RE: RE: FW: LOL GOOGLE

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Uh... what if you know someone who's blind and want to give them a gift?

[–]austinrks 0 points1 point ago

"That you've never seen before" this has to be a joke, right?

[–]karmaceutical 0 points1 point ago

ad us for caregivers friends and family of blind

[–]fuckfuckbuttnectar 0 points1 point ago

Blind people do have friends and relatives you know.

[–]Manimal33 0 points1 point ago

Feels flat...

[–]mowgley 1 point2 points ago

As a blind man I approve this.

[–]editthis7 1 point2 points ago

not like they'd be able to see that ad anyway.

[–]dime5150 0 points1 point ago

How weird. Just the other day I was wondering if Braille is a lost language since now we have computers that do all the work (reading books outloud etc).

[–]themightypierre 1 point2 points ago

So blind people can't use the internet ?

[–]kabomlamma 1 point2 points ago

google doesn't write these, they merely approve them

[–]nuxeon 0 points1 point ago

Braillebookstore.com had better the most fucking accessible site on the internet.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DeuceSevin 0 points1 point ago

In this case I think OP write the ad.

[–]Cemetary 0 points1 point ago

Oh dude... are you implying people who are blind don't have friends/family that would use the internet? Blind mate presents is a HUGE market you know :p

[–]CaptainSpauIding 0 points1 point ago

This is older than time itself.

[–]DjKaiserCharles444 0 points1 point ago

Too bad I can't see the savings I will make.

[–]jonynas1 0 points1 point ago

They just wanted you to be more hands on.

[–]bromination 1 point2 points ago

Text to speech....

[–]DeuceSevin 1 point2 points ago

Exactly. Plus it's not real.

[–]NahumGardner 0 points1 point ago

. . . is not the same as reading to yourself.

[–]zombizle1 0 points1 point ago

this ad could also be for people who want to buy braille products for their friends/family

[–]Ancience 1 point2 points ago

These are made by businesses who buy ad space. Google doesn't make these...

[–]tikidreq 0 points1 point ago

Haha, I love how Google is including dark humor in their search now.

[–]pyroteknick 0 points1 point ago

Did you guys see that ad? Oh...wait...

[–]JayGold 0 points1 point ago

After opening the picture, I almost ignored it. It's weird how instantly I disregard ads.

[–]ImAVampiahImAVampiah 0 points1 point ago

"Many of which you've never SEEN before"... You don't say...

[–]DeuceSevin 0 points1 point ago

"I see", said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

[–]SkeeverTail 0 points1 point ago

Because only blind people are in the market for braille products...

[–]Lupinefiasco 0 points1 point ago

No one can say the ad didn't deliver what it promised.

[–]Noreasonsforthis 0 points1 point ago

Brilliant

[–]RevClamJuice 1 point2 points ago

Sadly this is a repost. Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Touché Google... 235coms 1889pts 1yr funny
Seemed fine at first, then I read it. Google can be a bastard... 44coms 431pts 1yr funny

source: karmadecay

[–]worldent16 0 points1 point ago

[–]Mzambrzuski 0 points1 point ago

Braillient!

[–]mpfredrick 0 points1 point ago

haha

[–]Krispyz 0 points1 point ago

'Cause blind people don't have friends and family.

[–]christiaanmeyer 0 points1 point ago

Excellent hahaha!

[–]tnerbusas 0 points1 point ago

Google doesn't write ads for companies.

[–]12LetterName 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, have you seen Stevie Wonders' new piano?

[–]itsbraille 0 points1 point ago

Relevant Screen Name.

[–]TreSRo3 0 points1 point ago

why .gif ?!?!?! some men just want to watch the world burn

[–]MetalDragon6666 0 points1 point ago

I speak fluent braille.

[–]fe3o4 0 points1 point ago

Don't worry, a blind person will never see that ad.

[–]QuaereVerumm 0 points1 point ago

Well, it is true.

[–]zergling50 0 points1 point ago

Oh irony, how i love thee.

[–]xTreeLine 0 points1 point ago

Ha! Never seen before!

[–]Kennyclone 0 points1 point ago

Wow that's a old photo. Still pretty funny though

[–]UnitedWeFail 0 points1 point ago

I can't see what you did there!

[–]giannini1222 0 points1 point ago

We didn't see anything.

Ever.

[–]randal2k 0 points1 point ago

LOL

[–]ExxL 0 points1 point ago

How would I be able to know what I'm ordering on that site if I'm blind anyway? What the fuck

[–]Wendallpie 0 points1 point ago

What I wonder is why they put braille on drive up ATMs, that scares me.

[–]NahumGardner 0 points1 point ago

1) So they don't have to make two different styles of ATM fronts. 2) Blind people can be passengers in cars.

[–]XNixk 0 points1 point ago

So you were searching the word Braille? Those damn Regis…

[–]RedundancyCheck 0 points1 point ago

Computers do have a text read-out option you know.

[–]itsroryBbellows 0 points1 point ago

I don't see your point.

[–]OllieWillie 0 points1 point ago

Yeahhhhh, Google host the ads, they dont make them.....

[–]serosis 0 points1 point ago

I can not stop laughing...