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What happens when a girl invites to hang out, then "slyly" adds the fact that she's having some problems with her computer. (i.imgur.com)
submitted 21 days ago by Gengar11
[–]Morghus 160 points161 points162 points 21 days ago
Do like me!
"Oh, that's great! I run a computer service so I can bring it with me and do it tomorrow. I'll send you a bill at the end of the month"
Edit: You'd be surprised at how many people responds positively at this
[–]coffinoff 49 points50 points51 points 21 days ago
Works for me as well. I started getting sick of the constant personal tech support requests I was getting from people in other departments at work and, kind of as a joke, I started saying "That's $40/hr, cash or check". And when the typical kind of issues I run into involve setting up deskjet printers and showing people how to copy pictures off of digital cameras, it's not a bad way to get some extra beer money.
[–]dmanww 38 points39 points40 points 21 days ago
No direct deposit? What is this, the 20th century?
[–]salgat 19 points20 points21 points 20 days ago
Who uses direct deposit for single transactions?
[–]dmanww 34 points35 points36 points 20 days ago
I do. because it's really easy where I live (not the US)
[–]salgat 17 points18 points19 points 20 days ago
Haha I was just thinking to myself how sad it is how in the US you can't easily transfer money via banks. Even transferring money between my dad and I through the same bank takes at least a day, and if it's on the weekend I have to wait until Monday. I have no idea why, ridiculous.
[–]logi 10 points11 points12 points 20 days ago
That's just awful. What is this, the 20th century?
Actually, I think bank transfers became instantaneous here as early as the late 80s, but obviously it wasn't done on the web.
[–]dmanww 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
Because they haven't figured out a way to make money out of it.
[–]MasterBirne 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
*my dad and me
[–]salgat 24 points25 points26 points 20 days ago
To be honest, I don't give a damn if we are the subject or the object of a sentence, people understand what me said.
I just wanted to help. Give a damn or not, but to some people you will seem less intelligent when you mess up your grammar.
[–]kael13 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
What do you use for direct deposit? Just your bank account details?
[–]ffn 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
Friend: thanks for all the work, what do I owe you?
coffinoff: oh it's nothing, I'll figure out the numbers and be in contact.
Coffinoff Industries 41 Prescott Rd. Redditville USA Dear Sir or Madam, Please see attached summary of services rendered and payment instructions. **** DESCRIPTION OF SERVICES RENDERED **** Time Rate Description 0.25 Hours 40.00 Scanning computer for viruses 0.25 Hours 40.00 Saving backups 0.50 Hours 40.00 Reformatting computer 0.50 Hours 40.00 Installing Operating System and programs TOTAL: 60.00 USD **** INSTRUCTIONS **** Please make payment via wire to the following institution Bank Name: Coffinoff Banking Intl. SWIFT Code: CFNFAQ10001 Account Number: 00000 000001 Thank you for your continued patronage of our services. Cindy McPearson Coffinoff Industries Junior Accounts Receivable Clerk 41 Prescott Rd. Redditville USA Coffinoff Tower, Floor 72 C_McPhearson4@Coffinoff.gov
[–]ttoyooka[] 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I thought he meant a direct deposit for a beer transaction.
[–]FlickingYourSwitch 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Direct transfer can be made on your mobile within a minute. Sounds like the best alternative. Of course cash is better if you want to go all old school.
[–]gifforc 18 points19 points20 points 20 days ago
I don't get out of bed in the morning for less than $80 an hour. With what best buy charges $80 is a blessing.
$40 is just underselling.
[–]ContiX 20 points21 points22 points 20 days ago
I always felt bad doing tech support for family and friends for $20/hr, but now I see that I was really underselling everyone else...
[–]gifforc 13 points14 points15 points 20 days ago
Yeesh. I don't charge family/CLOSE friends. That way if it fucks up theres not tension because they paid you.
[–]SpruceCaboose 8 points9 points10 points 20 days ago
Same. I do favors for favors now. Want your computer looked at? Ok, but I could use a hand moving a new couch in.
It's worked out well so far.
[–]Tiver 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
Agreed, I'm not friends with someone who doesn't reciprocate favors. Balance may not always be even but as long as we make the effort.
[–]zyedy 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
You're running me out of business!!
[–]Undercrown 4 points5 points6 points 20 days ago
GeekSquad charges a flat rate for everything. Nothing is hourly.
[–]gifforc 10 points11 points12 points 20 days ago
And just about all of their flat rates for things come out to 3 x what it would cost at an hourly rate of $80. Virus removal? Typically an hours work. $80. At best buy....lol.
[–]sleeplessone 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
$40 is the "we're good friends" discount.
[–]coffinoff 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
Well, the way I look at it, these are "friend" prices. I already have a day job anyway so it's not 100% about the money for me. I also reserve the right to decline any job that I don't think is worth the rate, or the hassle.
[–]fapficionado 6 points7 points8 points 20 days ago
Australian for "friends' prices" ="mates' rates". Much more fun to say.
[–]paganpan 4 points5 points6 points 20 days ago
Protip, use Square and take credit card payments on your phone. The send you one for free. They take 2.75% but it's worth it for how badass you feel.
[–]IConrad 1 point2 points3 points 20 days ago
Fifty per hour, two hour minimum. Exceptional cases may also utilize the CG/A remuneration policy. ( Cash, Grass, or Ass... Nobody rides for free. )
[–]scuff 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
I usually just ask for the beer directly, suggesting that they buy a 12-pack or pay for your drinks that night should work, also give you time to hang out, and make everyone happy. Then again, I only help out close friends.
[–]friedsushi87 7 points8 points9 points 20 days ago
This is when you "slyly" mention how you're having issues with your penis.
[–][deleted] 20 days ago
[deleted]
[–]Morghus 5 points6 points7 points 20 days ago
Yup! Used to have a three or four computers a week, billing for 3-4 hours for each, could be more, could be less. I'd add in the time I had to spend googling and such too, nothing charged for when shit was installing and I wasn't hands-on.
Some people paid extra for speed and sometimes I'd handle warranties and such. I was amazed at the variety of people that were willing to pay money.
edit: It took a long time to get to the point where it was that many computers, but when the rumour started spreading it was pretty neat
[–]Zamarok 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I do this :). It makes me money, and I do the opportunity for passive aggression.
[–]s0x 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
They have no choice but to.
[–]Ceramik 91 points92 points93 points 21 days ago
I usually get excited when she mentions computer issues. I tend to get along better with a malfunctioning computer than with a fully functional woman.
[–]evilhankventure 35 points36 points37 points 20 days ago
What you need is a malfunctioning woman.
[–]foreverinane 26 points27 points28 points 20 days ago
That's the only kind I know... :(
[–]LaughsTwice 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
:(
[–]JordanJO 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
Or any malfunctioning piece of equipment, really.
[–]Despotic 287 points288 points289 points 21 days ago
In my experience, the computer issues are just a way for her to get your introverted ass to hang out with her. Here's one particular scenario I still think back on and go "wtf were you thinking you dumb oblivious fucknut".
Her: "Hey I want to record some voice for a project I'm doing. Can I use your computer?".
Me: "You have a computer, right? Just use the microsoft voice recorder. It will be sufficient for what you are doing".
Her: "But I don't really have a good mic... I could come use yours".
Me: "Mine isn't really good either. Maybe you should go buy one".
Her: "But I could just come over and you could show me how to do it, maybe"
Me: "You can google whatever you want to learn. I'll give you keywords if you want"
Her: "k"
This girl had already expressed interest in me earlier in the week. I'm not really sure where my mind was. I have many of these stories that make me facepalm everytime.
[–]gifforc 334 points335 points336 points 20 days ago
Her: I think my ipod might be stuck in my vagina, could you check it out?
Me: You should call apple support, but the warranty is probably void because of their moisture sensor.
[–]staplesgowhere 53 points54 points55 points 20 days ago
"What do I look like, a genius?"
[–]thatusernameisal 19 points20 points21 points 20 days ago
Apple support would not find the vagina anyway.
[–]MartianMagnet 6 points7 points8 points 20 days ago
Your comment was the first thing in a long time that I've actually laughed out loud at on the net.
[–]rajvind 1 point2 points3 points 20 days ago
I laughed for a good 15 seconds!
[–]squigs 63 points64 points65 points 20 days ago
Been there myself.
Her: <rips clothes off> "Take me! Take anything you want"
Me: But they won't fit.
[–]Propolandante 97 points98 points99 points 21 days ago
You said it best:
What the fuck were you thinking, you dumb oblivious fucknut?
[–]wuzizname 16 points17 points18 points 20 days ago
First date she had a computer problem. She had a USB cable plugged into front port than ran along through a mess of cables and then plugged into the back port of her PC and not into the printer. Printer USB cable was loose and dangling on the floor. You can't plug the pc into itself, lol! Easy fix!
We're married now :D
[–]appropriate-username 9 points10 points11 points 20 days ago
I wish you could..."detected new hardware--PC"
[–]wuzizname 7 points8 points9 points 20 days ago
Doubled my processing power! successkid.jpg
[–]gensek 5 points6 points7 points 20 days ago
My wife, long before we were even dating: "My printer isn't working".
Me: "I can drop by and check it out. What make and model is it?"
Her: "It's... grey."
[–]chneukirchen 1 point2 points3 points 20 days ago
You can't plug the pc into itself, lol!
How should that even work?
[–]Shnikes 25 points26 points27 points 20 days ago
In my case she told me about the computer problems first then I offered to head over there fix it and she then decides my reward for fixing it was to give me a blowjob. I should note we had previously had small hookups years prior. We then end up hanging out a lot more and things seemed to be moving towards relationship or so I thought. Few months later she tells me she didn't mean to give me the wrong idea. She ended up being a bitch anyway.
[–]nodule 8 points9 points10 points 20 days ago
What's a small hookup?
[–]mkosmo 53 points54 points55 points 20 days ago
Any hookup he's involved in.
*rim shot*
[–]G0pherB0y 8 points9 points10 points 20 days ago
Just the tip.
[–]JamesGray 9 points10 points11 points 21 days ago
I've never really had issues of people kind of fooling me into dealing with their computer issues, but there's definitely a huge difference between "can you help me fix X problem?" and the elaborate and oblivious situation you just described. Usually it's something more along the lines of "my wireless/printer/router/thingamabob isn't working anymore" when people solicit free computer help in my experience, so if it's a ruse to spend time with you, then they must be a lot more tech-savvy than they seem.
[–]iamyourdad 8 points9 points10 points 20 days ago
Her: "Hey, you want to come and give me a shoulder massage? My shoulders are still hurting from tennis yesterday."
Me: "Na, I need to go home and finish my video game."
Man, the dumb shits I used to do when I was young.
[–]cultured_banana_slug 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
Isn't it funny? When you're young you have girls throwing themselves at you and you've got no clue what's going on. Then later on, you're like "Okay! Totally ready!" and you're a real adult with little contact with large groups of unattached attractive girls. Middle-aged people. Middle-aged people everywhere. And suddenly it's, "Fuck, how do I meet people?" You can't meet them at work because they're married, divorced, morbidly obese, or crazy.
And you want to go back in time and kick yourself in the nuts. It's not like they were being used properly anyway.
[–]cultured_banana_slug 6 points7 points8 points 20 days ago
Girl: "Hey, want to come up to my room?"
Guy: "Sure."
(Goes up to room)
Guy: "I like your posters."
Girl: "So...um... wanna sit down?" (sits on bed)
Idiot: "Sure." (sits on floor)
Girl: "You don't have to sit on the floor if you don't want to."
Idiot: "Oh, okay." (Sits on computer chair) "So..."
Girl: "Want to look at the poster over my bed?"
Idiot: "I can see it from here. It's very nice."
[–]SpruceCaboose 6 points7 points8 points 20 days ago
Perhaps you taught her that a more direct style of communication is preferred in terms of clarity and efficiency.
In my experience, every "Hey, can you look at this problem on my computer" means exactly that, and it is always some form of major infection due to neglect.
[–]Ishtar3 5 points6 points7 points 20 days ago
This is true. When I was in college, I knew a guy who was very good with computers. I would ask for help all the time, even though I could have fixed it myself. We've been together for almost 13 years, have been married for 6, and have two beautiful kids. :) Geeks rock.
[–]FartingBob 8 points9 points10 points 20 days ago
You are such a dumb idiot. And so was i when i was 17, thinking back i had so many oppertunities with girls practically offering it on a plate and i was too dumb to realise. If i build a time travelling machine (ya never know), first thing im doing is going back to visit my 17 year old self, slapping him fucking hard and tell him to read between the fucking lines when girls talk to you.
[–]circusboy 7 points8 points9 points 20 days ago
Same here I had a "girlfriend" from 12 to about 15 we were great friends and I eventually asked her to a school dance. I was so nervous, now that I look back on it we could have been making out the whole time, but I was a tard. I didn't get my first kiss till I was a senior in high school and threw a party at my house. She had been rubbing up on me all night and asked me to show her my room, duh ok, she summarily threw me down on my bed jumped on me and started sucking off my face. I was stunned to say the least and was wondering what this girl could possibly like about me, while sucking face... Completely oblivious. Thank god I'm married now with kids but those first few weeks of dating were no better with her either; two SAPs, we had "dated" for a month before our first kiss. Then proceeded to screw like rabbits day and night.
[–]Gargilius 8 points9 points10 points 20 days ago
In my experience, the computer issues are just a way for her to get your introverted ass to hang out with her.
Dude, your experience is atypical IMHO.
[–]RepRap3d 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
Well then so are mine.
[–]Gargilius 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
...ok, so I am doing it wrong.
[–]nopants55 6 points7 points8 points 21 days ago
Break the ice by taking off her (her's?) and your (your's? How the f does this work) pants.
[–]PANDAemic 29 points30 points31 points 21 days ago
Her and your are already possessive, ie. her pants, your pants. I'm not sure what her's pants means, nor your's pants.
However, "take of her and your pants" can imply that you (plural) are both wearing the same pair of pants, so it might be more clear to say:
Break the ice by taking off her pants and your pants.
Alternately, you don't necessarily need to take off her pants. The naked man works two times out of three, after all.
[–]TheBoredGuy 11 points12 points13 points 21 days ago
Take off the pants that belong to her as well as the pants that belong to yourself.
[–]dmanww 15 points16 points17 points 21 days ago
Why would she be wearing pants that belong to you.
[–]apsalarshade 7 points8 points9 points 20 days ago*
you have never had a girlfriend have you? any items of clothing that you think are your own, are in reality hers.
[–]dmanww 5 points6 points7 points 20 days ago
He wasn't talking about a girlfriend
[–]apsalarshade 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
yes, but i was.
[–]creaothceann 6 points7 points8 points 20 days ago
Nice try, girlfriend.
[–]amertune 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
Yet for some reason they don't seem to appreciate it when you wear their clothes.
i'd say it depends on the girlfriend. my GF wanted a pair of my boxers, and a pair of my pajama pants. I asked for a pair of her panties in return, which she happily supplied. If that is your fetish, maybe you you could bring it up. ;)
[–]buckX 4 points5 points6 points 21 days ago
Her and your pants.
Her pants and yours.
[–]DancingWithKafka 2 points3 points4 points 21 days ago
I believe that, because her and your are already possessive, there is no need for apostrophes. Same with its.
[–]LeSpatula 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Well, this is a completely different scenario.
[–]Antebios 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I'm sooooo guilty of the same fuck-tard face-palm idiotic things!!!
[–]Nextrix 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Been in the same boat myself. Then again there are times where the girl has just broken up with her boyfriend, and is pregnant but doesn't know it yet. Ya, then there are those times where I'm thankful I was an oblivious fucknut.
[–]Boredpotatoe2 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I know that feel bro
[–]Cerenex 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Dumb oblivious fucknut... I'm definitely using that one next time!
Upvote for you.
[–]SanityInAnarchy 0 points1 point2 points 19 days ago
To girls: Geeks are like this. Be more direct. It doesn't even have to be "Do you want to come over and have sex?" That works, but you could also do "Do you want to come over and hang out?"
Essentially, be blunt. If he doesn't pick up on your signals, it might be because he's not interested, or it might be because you're "sending signals" instead of just telling him.
To everyone: You miss out on so much fun by playing these games. You don't need to trick people into hanging out with you, and if you do, you weren't going to get anywhere anyway.
[–]FirstNoel 16 points17 points18 points 20 days ago
My wife got me over to her house to due computer support, that's how I got my first date.
Some times it can work out.
[–]BinaryGrind 0 points1 point2 points 19 days ago
She only married you for the free tech support!
[–]forgetfuljones 41 points42 points43 points 21 days ago
Take out 'girl' and insert 'anyone who can't\won't figure out how to fix it things themselves' and you have the generic case. Or, as dilbert put it, "somebody please explain to me why those can should be enslaved to those who can't?"
[–]JamesGray 14 points15 points16 points 20 days ago
So, does that mean Dilbert is John Galt?
[–]electricfistula 11 points12 points13 points 20 days ago
People (like you) who complain about this sort of stuff really just need to learn to say "No". Is it really that big a deal to turn down tech support requests? Whenever someone tells me about their computer problem, hinting that I should help, I react one of two ways.
I don't want to help
Someone: My router keeps dropping my laptop.
Me: Yeah, it'll do that.
Or, if I do feel like helping
Me: Oh really? Let me take a look.
It is easy either way in my opinion.
[–]wretcheddawn 20 points21 points22 points 20 days ago
Yesterday, I had a coworker put an "android tablet" on my desk. It was some type of knock-off chinese iphone-lookalike thing that she got for free. "I'm having trouble with this and I thought you could look at it."
Well, okay, I'm actually not busy right now, and this might be interesting. Play with it for 5 minutes, trying to see if I can calibrate the touchscreen or connect to the web, only to realize that this this is a piece of junk.
"Did you get anywhere? You can take it home if you need to."
No. I'm not going to dedicate an evening of my time trying to get your stuff to work for free.
[–]fuckYouKarmaWhores 40 points41 points42 points 21 days ago
0118-999-881-999-119-725..3
[–]squajbob 10 points11 points12 points 20 days ago
Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to?
[–]Dirge37 4 points5 points6 points 20 days ago
No need for alarm, I've sent an email!
[–]nyannacat 4 points5 points6 points 20 days ago
That's easy enough to remember!
[–]just_trees 7 points8 points9 points 20 days ago
You will never get help. You have to pause longer before the 3. Like so...........................3
[–]NoozeHound 5 points6 points7 points 20 days ago
"Oi'm sorry fer yer loss. Now move on." Endless Lulz, - frequently at funerals.
[–]jakemates 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
"Would you like a pen?"
[–]jeffbell 32 points33 points34 points 21 days ago
"I just want to make sure your photo collection and browser history are not corrupted"
[–]mneptok 30 points31 points32 points 21 days ago
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
[–]jeffbell 12 points13 points14 points 21 days ago
From the same show even
[–]middaylatte 14 points15 points16 points 20 days ago
Seconding a high chance of obliviousness. Plus a similar story to Despotic's from the female perspective, during a Christmas party where my co-worker brought a full Rock Band kit:
"This is insanely fun. How much does all this stuff cost?"
"Hundreds."
"Oh, man. Can I come over and play with you some time?"
"Nah. It's set up in my bedroom. You don't want to play in there."
"Are you sure? I don't mind."
"There's not enough room for two people to play."
"Oh."
"Yeah. I play alone."
I actually did want to play the game, but also other things! So rejected on both counts. I reminded him about this conversation a couple years later and he finally, regretfully, got it.
[–]IMGONNAFUCKYOURMOUTH 6 points7 points8 points 20 days ago
And did he tell you what he would have said if you'd straight out asked for "other things"?
[–]chriswu 45 points46 points47 points 21 days ago*
D = Demonstrate value
E = Engage Physically
N = Nurture Dependence
N = Neglect Emotionally
I = Inspire Hope
S = Separate Completely
You just need to get on step E
[–]hyperhopper 11 points12 points13 points 21 days ago
wtf is this
[–]Propolandante 39 points40 points41 points 21 days ago
Forget the D.E.N.N.I.S. system. Next time you're near her, just "accidentally" drop a MONSTER CONDOM you use for your MAGNUM DONG.
[–]treenaks 2 points3 points4 points 21 days ago
Magnum dong?
[–]Propolandante 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
Magnum dong.
[–]nubbinator 8 points9 points10 points 21 days ago
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System.
[–]thieving_magpie 5 points6 points7 points 21 days ago
Reminds me of the Crimson Permanent Insurance from Monty Python's Meaning of Life.
[–]chieflbm 68 points69 points70 points 21 days ago
slyly unzip your pants and add the fact you have problems too ...
[–]Gengar11[S] 20 points21 points22 points 21 days ago*
<insert eyes macro with smile here>.
(on my phone.)
Edit: To anyone who didn't figure it out, I meant this.
ಠ‿ಠ
[–]Subintro 11 points12 points13 points 21 days ago
ಠ_ಠ?
[–]randomb0y 55 points56 points57 points 21 days ago
(ʘ‿ʘ)
[–]Subintro 42 points43 points44 points 21 days ago
Oh christ, what the fuck is that
[–]Gengar11[S] 6 points7 points8 points 21 days ago
That, but with a smile in the middle of the eyes.
[–]spif 82 points83 points84 points 21 days ago
ಠ☺ಠ
[–]phreakymonkey 10 points11 points12 points 21 days ago
I'd like to buy you a beer some time.
[–]markgraydk 24 points25 points26 points 21 days ago
"while we're here, can I get you to look at my computer?"
[–]MysticKirby[] 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
oh, you! ◔‿◔
[–]Ephemeros 3 points4 points5 points 21 days ago
"This computer isn't going to fix itself!" "Yeah, and this dick isn't going to suck itself, either."
[–]DeliriousZeus 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
"Looks like that ass could use some more..."
puts on sunglasses
"RAM."
YEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
[–]lankira 74 points75 points76 points 21 days ago
As a female geek, I hate it when guys do that.
[–]udelblue 23 points24 points25 points 21 days ago
Hate it when a guy slyly unzips his pants and mentions he is having issues with his hard drive.
[–]IMGONNAFUCKYOURMOUTH 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
Because that just happens all the time.
[–]biggerx 170 points171 points172 points 21 days ago
Said no one ever.
[–]CarpeNivem 55 points56 points57 points 21 days ago
Except her, just now. Did you miss it?
[–]Veracity01 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
She does not exist, really.
[–]Lystrodom 35 points36 points37 points 21 days ago
HAHA YEAH THOSE FEMALES SURE ARE DUMB AND MANIPULATIVE AND NO MAN IS, AMIRITE OR WHAT!?
[–]Gengar11[S] 20 points21 points22 points 21 days ago
Yes.
[–]NegativeK 8 points9 points10 points 21 days ago
What the fuck?
[–]modnar 12 points13 points14 points 21 days ago
I hate it when guys jump out the window too. :(
[–]MartianMagnet 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
...That happens?
[–]accountII 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
In my experience, it's more often other females. But the guys I hang out with are mostly other geeks so that isn't a fair sample
[–]gospelwut 4 points5 points6 points 20 days ago
YUM Multiboot Linux USB - Allows to easily setup a multi-boot USB of various Linux distros including FreeDOS IMG/DBAN/AV distros/etc. Can also partition (if you know what you're doing with GParted or my personal choice Parted Magic) it to have a regular FAT32/NTFS part for your files.
http://www.pendrivelinux.com/yumi-multiboot-usb-creator/
example distros:
If the disk is suffering from I/O problems learn how to use ddrescue.
If for whatever reason you need to make something that might have to stand up in court (lol?) use DEFT linux. They have a GUI tool, but you should also learn how to use dcfldd (if you can't figure it out, I wouldn't try this route at all).
If you ever need to image a whole HDD, it's a lot easier to bring a SATA/ATA cable with you and plug directly into the board for your dest drive.
Securina PSI - A psuedo-package manager for updating programs somewhat automatically (Flash, FireFox, etc). http://secunia.com/vulnerability_scanning/personal/
Teamviewer - Remote desktop into their computer (make sure that you change the password and/or change the default password strength) http://teamviewer.com
Backup software or scheduled task robocopy - backup http://social.technet.microsoft.com/wiki/contents/articles/1073.robocopy-and-a-few-examples.aspx http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows7/schedule-a-task http://support.microsoft.com/kb/313565
SugarSync -- like dropbox except you don't have to use "hard links" for folders like their My Documents folder. https://www.sugarsync.com/
[–]notjawn 7 points8 points9 points 20 days ago
Yeah fo reals even if the girl isn't interested in you, get some food or baked goods out of it. My friend used to fix a girl's (who had a boyfriend) computer and she would bake him cookies, make lemonade, make him dinner if it took too long. YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE BENEFITS HERE!
[–]doomrabbit 9 points10 points11 points 21 days ago
When performing any service, get payment up front.
[–]noizes 10 points11 points12 points 21 days ago
This includes consulting.
[–]forgetfuljones 8 points9 points10 points 21 days ago
I agree. Here at work, we have a minimum fee applied as soon as you leave your machine with us, which is why we call the prelim stuff 'diagnostic' and not 'estimate' - because estimates are typically free, and diagnosing a computer's actual problem takes time. "Free" is synonymous with "worthless" to most people, in that if you don't charge for your time, they will not consider it as having any value.
Where I can, I turn people away at our counter: if a laptop won't turn on because it ran out of battery while in sleep mode, if it just needs a chkdsk run, if there is likely no hope, etc. I would rather NOT get the min charge than have the hassle. But if it crosses to my side of the counter, the minimum gets applied, even if we eventually can't fix anything because it's hopeless. It took time, that time isn't free.
[–]noizes 2 points3 points4 points 21 days ago
Yeah, when I worked at a shop we had a $30 bench fee. If we put it on the bench and turn it on, that's $30.
Anymore I'm going to start charging the people that ask me about websites. I really hate wasting an hour of my time explaining to someone what it all entails and then them saying they'll be in touch. Nope, not any more. You will be getting in touch and paying me or at least buying me a nice meal for my time as so few people seem to actually want websites after they find out they are work and cost some money.
[–]forgetfuljones 3 points4 points5 points 21 days ago
My current fav is when people call me asking how to remove malware. I suggest a few programs, knowing that they will ask 'and that will work?', to which I reply "who know? I haven't seen the machine or the malware." They usually bring the machine in at that point, when the light dawns that only with some experience do you get any assurances.
[–]noizes 6 points7 points8 points 20 days ago
Malware is an automatic "I hope that's a laptop, because I'm going to need it over night." Granted this doesn't normally need to happen. But if it's one that is easy to pull out I really don't want you to see it only took me 30 minutes. This means that it was fast and simple so you don't need to pay me much, as you could have done it yourself. If it happens to be a pain in the ass one and takes me some time I don't want to be stuck at your house bored off my ass while I babysit scans for hours to make sure it's clean. No, nuke and reload isn't a faster option because you don't have any disks and you might have the right key and the only thing I'm backing up is non-hidden files in your user folder. I don't want to spend the next 3 days with calls about missing programs and missing this or that.
Now I'm having flashbacks and just want to get shitface drunk.
[–]forgetfuljones 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
I feel your pain. Actually, I'm living your pain, this is my current job. (er, not getting shitface drunk, but dealing the stuff giving you flashbacks. OTJ drinking would be a definite perk.)
But if it's one that is easy to pull out
Most of the obvious Fake AV programs now easy themselves to disable, but they are always accompanied by some re-enabling rootkit, so you can't trust it.
Nuke and Reload always looks unappealing too, like you say, because they never have all their info, and it'll be 4-5 hours labour replacing programs & data, after doing drivers & updates. Catch-22, really.
[–]Munkii 7 points8 points9 points 20 days ago
You do not need a reason to help someone
-Zidane Tribal
[–]MosTheBoss 3 points4 points5 points 20 days ago
Man what a weird place to make that reference. I'm into it though.
[–]bobbieluvsya 15 points16 points17 points 21 days ago
A friend asked a friend for help with something she knows he's proficient in? Can't have that, now, can we?
[–]ChineseDeathBus 21 points22 points23 points 20 days ago
Weaseling and manipulating your friends into doing something theyre proficient in isn't cool. Being straight up with them and saying "hey, my computer is hosed. Can you take a look at it when you have some time please?" is better.
[–]shawnaroo 5 points6 points7 points 20 days ago
That's spot on. If you don't know me well enough that you feel comfortable flat out asking me for help, then I don't know you well enough that I'll feel obliged to help.
And if I feel like you're trying to trick me or emotionally manipulate me into helping, then I'm going to be much less inclined to spend make your problem my problem.
Unless you're my mom, in which case I am compelled to spend hours on the phone with you, futilely trying to troubleshoot your 8 year old laptop from a thousand miles away, over a crappy cellphone connection.
[–]wretcheddawn 2 points3 points4 points 21 days ago
"Hey, /me Hows it going? We haven't talked in a while, we need to catch up! Also my computer is slow."
Sigh.
Also get this occasionally:
"Hey, /me Hows it going? We haven't talked in a while, we need to catch up! Call me sometime."
I call.
Hey, I've got a business oppurtunity for you!
Is this amway?
Click.
[–]RedditBlueit 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Hmm, this looks serious. I'd estimate it's at least a two six-pack problem. Might even climb into the bottle of Scotch range!
[–]32BitWhore 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
No WAY dude, I've gotten laid SO MANY TIMES by chicks who ask me to "fix my computer." And by so many, I mean twice. But still, pretty good track record.
[–]RedditBlueit 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
Oddly enough, "having female issues" is not a good secret codeword for "come over and give me sex".
[–]sobamushi 4 points5 points6 points 21 days ago
I married the man that came and fixed my laptop for me...so have some faith xD?
[–]NoozeHound 3 points4 points5 points 21 days ago
How can you expect anything but upvotes including a Renholm gif? You may as well have said Upvote if you like the IT Crowd.
Shouldn't there be a rule about this?
[–]Gash77 4 points5 points6 points 21 days ago
Okay, what film is that from?
[–]HiImDan 22 points23 points24 points 21 days ago
It's from the British show IT Crowd
[–]kinnu 21 points22 points23 points 21 days ago
And in case he clip doesn't make it clear, the show is marvelous
[–]jeffbell 5 points6 points7 points 21 days ago
And extremely relevant!
[–]sweepernosweeping 7 points8 points9 points 21 days ago
S2E2 - Return of the Golden Child.
[–]Douglas-Reynholm 14 points15 points16 points 21 days ago
clears throat
\o.
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR
[–]kentrel 4 points5 points6 points 21 days ago
Just a heads up, this show is incompatible with Windows Vista.
[–]lurker69 3 points4 points5 points 21 days ago
Have you tried turning it on and off again?
[–]loego 2 points3 points4 points 21 days ago
mention that you're heavily under the influence of some intoxicant whose use she agrees with or at least isn't offended by, and that fixes could go horribly wrong
[–]rabidcow 4 points5 points6 points 21 days ago
"Sorry, too much testosterone today."
[–]Xyenon 3 points4 points5 points 21 days ago
"Testosterone is the great equalizer, Buffy. It turns all men into morons."
[–]Clauderoughly 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
"Your Jedi boob tricks only work on the weak minded"
[–]kyle2143 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
You could have at least mentioned that it was a crosspost from foreveralone.
[–]chicagogam 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
it reminds me of that frasier episode where frasier is happy seeing someone until (his brother?) suggests that maybe she's interested in him just because she wants free psychological advice. then every time she asks him about that topic, he grows more suspicious...when it might be that she likes him and thinks his work is interesting...but the seed of doubt is hard to overcome. and i guess in real life things can always be a little bit of column A and a little bit from column B..at what point is it bad..? can be a gray area especially when love might be blind on both sides (then usually there's no problem while that lasts)
[–]esdraelon 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
In my experience, it leads to two years of reliable hook-ups.
[–]GreatBigPig 1 point2 points3 points 20 days ago
I guess it depends on whether you are a girl too.
[–]MisterNixon 1 point2 points3 points 20 days ago
Replace the dog with her computer.
[–]Ehran 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I miss that show with the Ooboontwo log-oh on Moss' workspace.
[–]chris-martin 1 point2 points3 points 20 days ago
"I know this is difficult for you to understand, but being a programmer does not mean that I know how to use Windows."
[–]kog 2 points3 points4 points 20 days ago
As a programmer, every other programmer I've met who doesn't know how to use Windows has fallen into one of two categories:
Nearing retirement, only really uses computers at work
Crappy programmers
[–]kordless 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I don't even have to wait for that to load. I know what happens. Get out. All the fucking way out.
[–]ginekologs 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago*
This happens with me at least once a year.
Once one girl skyped me. We hadn't talked for more than a year, so I was happy that she remembered about me. Long story short, 10 minutes in conversation she mentions that her laptop broke and if I couldn't go to her (20 min walk) and check it out. At that time I couldn't and said that I could go next day. She told that next day is OK and basically with that our conversation ended. Just one small remark from her at the end: "you are the best, love you". Of course it was in a brother kind of way which sucked for me because I liked her.
[–]lmc211 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
[–]ElDubardo 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
it's not that bad, but i'm just glad to know i created a meme with this gif :)
[–]daileyjd 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
This is the plot to like 9 million adult films.
[–]CostlierClover 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Nah, mate. Just tell her to turn it off and on again.
[–]StabbyStabStab 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Yeah... The only times I've ever asked a guy to help me with my computer, it was an excuse to hang out. Generally, I don't need the help, I just want an excuse to hang out.
(There are exceptions... like setting up my modem since the ethernet port in my laptop is broken... though I got to hang out with an awesome dude friend anyway)
[–]InvalidArguement 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
The only manly way out. SUICIDE!
[–]AliveInTheFuture 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
FATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[–]aetheradept 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Well I don't do it for free...
[–]bigp3rm 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Attention girls. Invite me please.
/foreveralone
[–]superjimmyplus 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Dude... if you're fixing her computer you're in her house/bedroom/whereverthefuckshekeepshercomputer. Guys, seriously, this is how you get laid.
What is -- BAH!
[–]machzel08 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Not gonna lie, there have been a few times where I'm more excited about the computer issue.
[–]IMJGalt[] 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Tell her that your computer analysis circuits need to be suck started
[–]BreatheLikeADog 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
You know how many times computer problems have gotten me laid?
...more than a couple times bitches.
[–]Blackops606 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
Back in high school I had girls ask me what I was doing over the weekend. Then I got "slyly" asked to help with their Chemistry lab which was on the computer. We got 95's which was nice for her (and her friend she gave the answers to) because she was playing with my dog the whole time (my actual dog, not what you might be thinking).
We were friends for a while after that but then I dropped out of HS because of my agoraphobia and haven't really talked to her since.
[–]darthnuri 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I make them buy me beer.
[–]lazylion_ca 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
That's when I "slyly" add the fact that I like home-made dinner.
[–]AliasUndercover 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
I don't get you people. There was a time when knowing something about computers would get you a shot to the nuts faster than being asked to hang out.
Can't people be honest? I might do A if she asks. Or B. But I'm not going to factor in that A really means Z. Because it doesn't.
Also, girl computer geeks are more interesting anyway.
[–]VanEck 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
While normally I would agree with this gif, I happened to lucky once in this situation. Was at a goth club haning with my buddy and two other girls. THe one girl invited us to come to her palce and drink some absinthe. I don't drink, but I'll be damned if I decline an invite to go to a girls house, so we go. SHortly there after, she starts mentioning to me that her computer is all jacked up,a nd since I work with computers, can I take a look at it. I am ready to stand up and jump out the window like in the gif, but I unwillingly agree to go check it. We get upstairs and she slams her bedroom door shut, turns and smiles. I smile back and start walking toward the computer. She steps in front of it and says "you didn't really think I wanted you to look at my computer did you"? Umm, no? 5 minutes later I am getting my first BJ from a girl with a pierced tongue. Good times.
TLDR; Check the computer anyway.
[–]Nesilwoof 0 points1 point2 points 20 days ago
So did you make it to second base?
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
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