This is how I imagine people that make violence threats from behind a computer. : funny

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[–]Sl1mchance 26 points27 points28 points 27 days ago

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little theist? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in community college, and I’ve been involved in numerous long debates on Facebook, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in debating theists and I’m the top student in my philosophy 101 class. You are nothing to me but just another theist cunt. I will wipe you the fuck out with logic the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of scientists across Amerikkka and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your religion. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can debate you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my God Delusion. Not only am I extensively trained in logical fallacies, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United Swedish Atheist Club and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable Christ off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit reason all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[–]DoctorPotatoe 46 points47 points48 points 27 days ago

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true.

You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist.

Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.

[–]SMUT_ADDICT 15 points16 points17 points 27 days ago

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little faggot? I'll have you know my name is John and I was the captain of a football team, and was the starter on my basketball team and have over 300 confirmed girlfriends. I am trained in Guido warfare and I hate every single one of you. You are nothing to me but just fat, retarded lowlifes. I will get straight A’s the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get pussy that easily? Think again, fucker. As we speak my girlfriend is blowing me (Shit is SO cash). You're everything bad in the world, faggot. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I am pretty much perfect in over 700 different ways. Not only do you jerk off to pictures on facebook, but you spend every single second of your day looking at stupid ass pictures. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "cash" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't stop being a stranger, you didn't hit me with your best shot, and now you're jerking off to naked drawn Japanese pictures. I will shit fury all over you and I will take it to a whole new level. You're a faggot who should just kill yourself. Thanks for listening.

[–]dreamel 36 points37 points38 points 27 days ago

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[–]Pxzib 15 points16 points17 points 27 days ago

[–]frugal_masturbater 4 points5 points6 points 27 days ago

[–]goblinpiledriver 2 points3 points4 points 27 days ago

continue this thread

[–]dreamel 1 point2 points3 points 27 days ago

[–]bennyboy0227 1 point2 points3 points 27 days ago

[–]SMUT_ADDICT 10 points11 points12 points 27 days ago

What in tarnation did you just say about me hombre? I'll have you reckon I learn't me real good in the old west, and I've been on more prairies hogtyin me heathens than you know bout buddy. I done wrastled me up 300 scoundrels, and I know how to use this here 6 shooter everwhich way! I'm sheriff in these here parts, Consarnit! You ain't nothin to me but another dagnum yellabelly. I'll clean your clock rightfast, and you won't reckon what hit ya. Now you listen good, you think you can come round here and tell me whatfer? Well you better think again damn it. Right as we speak my possie is closing in, tracking your there computer all across this here frontier. And you better git while the gittins good. Yesir, you better amscray compadre, fore were forced ta get mean, or you'll be six feet under by sunup. Yessir now we can duel like gentlemen or I can use ol' Betsy here to shoot the smile right off yer face 69 to 1 ways from sunday. Not only do i have with me here these pistols but being law and order round here I got me a whole heap o' guns and I'll use em if need be. I think if you only knew what snakes you were winding up, you'da came wearing gloves partner. But ya couldn't, ya didn't and now mister you're gonna pay the price dag-gumit. It's gona be raining bullets like cats and dogs all over here in a minute. You're a goner partner.