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top 200 commentsshow all 359

[–]IAmThePaint 159 points160 points ago

That's the coolest thing since.. uh...well, you know...

[–]BrutallyEffective 64 points65 points ago

Personally I think it's a pretty crumby feature.

[–]Words_Myth 25 points26 points ago

You butter take that back you sonova...

[–]BrutallyEffective 26 points27 points ago

I decline. This is not a good way to use a pricey piece of equipment, no matter which way you slice it.

[–]AdrianDrake 25 points26 points ago

Why do you care? quit being a baguette.

[–]BrutallyEffective 24 points25 points ago

I care because that's the way I was born and bread.

[–]Mjolnirium 21 points22 points ago

It's not worth the arguement, he's just trying to get a rise out of you

[–]BrutallyEffective 13 points14 points ago

Just expressing an opinion; I don't knead a rise out of anyone!

[–]ddftd8 13 points14 points ago

I dough not see the point of this pun thread.

[–]BrutallyEffective 16 points17 points ago

Hey, as soon as society loses it's sense of humour, we're toast.

[–]lalabubble 3 points4 points ago

Well, I have muffin else to do

[–]8biticon 18 points19 points ago

Bread.

[–]sargent610 12 points13 points ago

Is it just me or does this thread seem half-baked?

[–]cmd_iii 5 points6 points ago

Hey, it's a pretty sharp computer, at the very yeast.

[–]inVizi0n 4 points5 points ago

Butter stop this shit now, my patience is spread thin.

[–]Beanswaggle 0 points1 point ago

I bet your parents made you get a summer job instead of getting to be lazy and loaf around.

[–]I_FIST_INSANITY_WOLF 37 points38 points ago

blow jobs?

[–]esoteric_enigma 4 points5 points ago

Nothing's cooler than blowjobs.

[–]Watches_FoxNews 0 points1 point ago

Slow-Blows, nuff said!

[–]PostsNothing 68 points69 points ago

[–]Icarus_01 41 points42 points ago

At least he's honest.

[–]Kongo204 11 points12 points ago

How do you even do that?

[–]Neebat 10 points11 points ago

Hit the "source" link right below his comment.

[–]Dr_cow 3 points4 points ago

[–]Dr_cow 4 points5 points ago

 HA! IT WORKS!

[–]gellatintastegood 4 points5 points ago

[–]gellatintastegood 3 points4 points ago

no FUCKING WAY!

[–]Dr_cow 3 points4 points ago

[–]roxxe 1 point2 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Wahrheit 4 points5 points ago

[–]vitumna 0 points1 point ago

Wow, who knew that the easiest way to get karma is to not even say a word. I'll remember this.

[–]smashedfinger 1 point2 points ago

like this "#"(see next post)

[–]N69sZelda 0 points1 point ago

or like this "|" (see next post)

[–]OoRI0T_P0LICEoO 0 points1 point ago

[–]OoRI0T_P0LICEoO 0 points1 point ago

oh i get it nvm :)

[–]CaNANDian 1 point2 points ago

[–]vw209 0 points1 point ago

Well, at least he didn't use the whole grapefruit.

[–]LaserGuidedPolarBear 99 points100 points ago

I prefer Asus for my compu-culinary needs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAoYWWZ_TyI

[–]TheBranleur 23 points24 points ago

Well shit, now my usb knife is useless!

[–]NakedJewBoy 26 points27 points ago

BRB returning my Air.

[–]noodlescb 8 points9 points ago

I bought one, and now my office owns 7. Love that little beast.

[–]LaserGuidedPolarBear 3 points4 points ago

Haha yeah, pretty much the same thing happened in my building. They are contagious like the flu.

[–]thehybridfrog 3 points4 points ago

Brb cutting a pineapple with my 31a.

[–]STEELGUARD 6 points7 points ago

"Spongebob, wait! We're NOT cavemen.

We have technology.."

[–]thedudeishere 2 points3 points ago

As an owner of many Asus devices, I concur. I pray, however, that you never have to deal with their support department. I love my router/monitor/motherboard/second and third laptop, but my dealings with them on my first laptop were absolutely terrible.

[–]OverloadedConstructo 1 point2 points ago

I though I'm the only one and this is mostly because support dept for any electronics in my country is very bad.

[–]cmd_iii 1 point2 points ago

Slicing an Apple...nice touch!!

[–]Nixhatter 0 points1 point ago

Which asus is it? I can't watch youtube at work :(

[–]LaserGuidedPolarBear 1 point2 points ago

Zenbook Prime, not sure which model they use there, but the form factor is the same : http://www.amazon.com/Zenbook-Prime-UX31A-DB51-13-3-Inch-Ultrabook/dp/B00863L2PK

[–]Pielikey 0 points1 point ago

it's kinda funny that he's cutting an apple

because macbook

[–]chillale66 215 points216 points ago

No one ever buys me a $1500 laptop that I can use to play with my food.

[–]Rainbowdash12007 11 points12 points ago

$999 is the real price

[–]pm079 2 points3 points ago

Not if you choose to upgrade the hardware at all. (More RAM, HD space, bigger screen, etc.)

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]methoxeta 16 points17 points ago

they're like $900 yo

edit: for the record I don't think they are worth that much, was just clarifying for this dude^

[–]chop_chop_boom 18 points19 points ago

That's also my knife's best feature.

[–]feilen 5 points6 points ago

I just use mine for web browsing.

[–]bronymobile 2 points3 points ago

I can do light gaming with mine, it'll run gta.

[–]mitchbrain 0 points1 point ago

Thank you.

[–]JanusMZeal11 38 points39 points ago

Does it toast the bread as it slices?

[–]memorulez 26 points27 points ago

[–]JanusMZeal11 12 points13 points ago

But the bread is sold separately. That makes me sad.

[–]memorulez 6 points7 points ago

No kidding, those cheap bastards.

[–]miseryisnotdead 9 points10 points ago

that webdesign looks like something I might have designed for my neopets all the way back to whenever neopets was a thing.

[–]memorulez 6 points7 points ago

Yeah, it's pretty bad. But the sheer awesomeness of having a toaster built into your computer pretty much cancels it out.

[–]miseryisnotdead 3 points4 points ago

That's pretty true. It's almost so convenient it's inconvenient... if that makes sense. Like, it's pretty awesome to be able to say your computer makes toast and to have something nearby to toast bread with but unless you keep a loaf of bread by your computer, you're going to have to go to the kitchen for it, where there will likely be a toaster anyway.

Still cool.

[–]memorulez 2 points3 points ago

I see what you're saying. Fortunately for me, I have a mini fridge within a foot of my computer which generally has bread atop it.. When I can afford bread.

[–]fish_tacoz 0 points1 point ago

You guys are idiots. You would get tons of crumbs in your computer. What the fuck who wants crumbs in their computer?

Not to mention its a fucking heater! Who the hell actively tries to heat up their computer?

[–]memorulez 4 points5 points ago

For many of us here in Canada, our computers are our sole source of heat in the freezing winter. Plus, the crumbs attract rodents into the case which then cooks them and presto, you've got a meal! No hunting required!

[–]thanks_for_the_fish 0 points1 point ago

I'd prefer this.

[–]memorulez 0 points1 point ago

I approve of this message. Next irresponsible purchase has been decided!

[–]misterxy89 0 points1 point ago

Except the toaster is 27$ and each toast is 24$ and you'll need four.. that's.. a little pricey for a USB gadget you think?

[–]SilverAg11 8 points9 points ago

If you so much as click on Minecraft it will.

[–]ThatJesterJeff 1 point2 points ago

Not sure if that's as much a fault with the machine, or Minecraft in general... With it's memory leaks and heavy reliance on Java, I know Minecraft can even get my gaming PC pretty toasty.

[–]SilverAg11 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I understand it overheating after playing for a while but the fan goes within a minute of starting the game!

[–]ThatJesterJeff 0 points1 point ago

Strange, never experienced that with my MBA.

[–]SilverAg11 0 points1 point ago

What model is yours? Mine is from 2010 (uses flash not SSD)

[–]ThatJesterJeff 0 points1 point ago

2012

[–]SilverAg11 0 points1 point ago

That's probably why, the new ones are a lot more powerful

[–]ggalitz 2 points3 points ago

Just run some TF2 on it while slicing the bread. That baby will get white hot.

[–]Draiko 2 points3 points ago

Yep. Just play a flash video...

[–]BigKahunaBurger 0 points1 point ago

Just run a flash video before you slice.

[–]GonzoHST 52 points53 points ago

Karma conspiracy title: - Redditor cuts bread roll with knife then places macbook air in the slot. All for that sweet karma.

[–]catsmakeweirdnoises 24 points25 points ago

Even better: redditor takes popular picture from last month, downloads and re uploads it, and posts to reddit

[–]Count-Mippipopolous 8 points9 points ago

It's the circle of life.

[–]misterxy89 0 points1 point ago

The classic circle jerk.

[–]norwegianatheist 0 points1 point ago

Last month? More like a few years ago..

[–]jacls0608 0 points1 point ago

Eh.. This joke has been around in one iteration or another since the air came out.

[–]Gorignak 1 point2 points ago

This is several years old now.

[–]russiangn 31 points32 points ago

Next post: my Mac broke and Apple was so cool they gave me a new one for free! They're the best!

[–]BreadHammer 50 points51 points ago

But it fits in a manila envelope!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]samlincoln 5 points6 points ago

Pencil wipes off easily too. Good for drawing molecules on while doing homework. The surface next to the trackpad is a great notepad.

[–]LeSouthAfricanSpy 9 points10 points ago

You have enough money to buy that computer but not enough to buy a notepad?

[–]BrutallyEffective 6 points7 points ago

Not enough after buying the computer. (Macs are expensive joke, etc) But seriously, the Airs are actually very well priced compared to their PC ultrabook counterparts. I wanted an ultrabook, but ended up getting an Air as the PC equivelent was $300 more (admittedly with a slightly better screen, and slightly longer battery time.) The Mac was was fiscally responsible option.

[–]thedudeishere 0 points1 point ago

Typical Macster. Spends so much on their laptop they can't afford a notepad.

[–]YaksOnFire 1 point2 points ago

Or he could just use whatever the macos equivalent of notepad is.

[–]caseyjhol 1 point2 points ago

Good luck drawing molecules using Notepad.

[–]YaksOnFire 0 points1 point ago

Mac-paint! or sticky notes. Like, actual sticky notes.
edit: besides, ascii art is fun.

[–]rabidferret 2 points3 points ago

It runs VIM appropriately from the Terminal. I'm no Mac fanboy, but if there's one thing I can do on my work machine that I can't do at home it's edit mother fucking text.

So back the fuck off on that one.

[–]AKShockwave 0 points1 point ago

You can only edit text using VIM?

That's the only thing I can't edit text with.

[–]rabidferret 0 points1 point ago

I can't only use vim edit text, but nothing else is nearly as efficient.

[–]YaksOnFire 0 points1 point ago

Real programmers use Emacs.

[–]rabidferret 1 point2 points ago

I've actually been exploring emacs quite a bit recently, as I've found that a few things I've tried to do in VIM through plugins feel hacky and are much better handled in emacs (debugger integration for example)

I personally decided not to switch. At the end of the day, for all of emacs capabilities, vim is a better dumb text editor, and at the end of the day I spend a lot more time doing that than the ancillary tasks that emacs improved for me.

That will probably change next time I do a major java program, however.

[–]YaksOnFire 0 points1 point ago

I'm not actually a programmer or anything, I just stole that line from xkcd. Sorry if I got your hopes up.

[–]rabidferret 1 point2 points ago

Oh. Well that comic is true. There Ctrl-x Meta-c Meta-butterfly is totally awesome.

[–]Superabsorbent_Cat 0 points1 point ago

why the fuck would you not use a piece of paper

[–]rabidferret 0 points1 point ago

He's running a unix based machine. Why the fuck would he not use vim?

[–]strikered 8 points9 points ago

Damn. I knew I fucked up when I got the new MacBook Pro. I suck at slicing bread!

[–]Modded_ToySol 7 points8 points ago

Ya, mine just crushes the bread, wtf.

[–]runujhkj 4 points5 points ago

MacBook pro is better as a rolling pin, for cooking the bread.

[–]Modded_ToySol 0 points1 point ago

Ah, I use mine as a cutting board.

[–]Heidenreich12 7 points8 points ago

Is there a reason the keyboard doesn't look like an Air's keyboard? Is this an international model layout?

[–]biiaru 10 points11 points ago

it's a non-US keyboard, yes.

[–]photoknut 0 points1 point ago

Yes, the return/enter key looks like that on international keyboards.

[–]YendorianMarmalade 13 points14 points ago

Man, you sure are on the cutting edge of humour these days.

[–]Mr_Walter_Sobchak 3 points4 points ago

You laid that pun on so thick I could cut it with a knife

[–]BrutallyEffective 6 points7 points ago

Pun threads are quickly becoming Reddit's bread-and-butter, but sometimes you just have to roll with them.

[–]wanderlvst -1 points0 points ago

I seriously wish RES had a pun blocking feature. Puns are not funny. When will you guys learn?

[–]Bipedal -1 points0 points ago

Agreed, these are really crumby.

[–]BrutallyEffective 1 point2 points ago

Not funny... to you. Likewise, not everyone appreciates the finest wines, the nuances of an elite chess game, or snorting pure South American cocaine from the backside of a model desperately struggling for a foot hold in a cut-cutthroat industry.

[–]jekstarr 0 points1 point ago

Or a macbook air

[–]Words_Myth 2 points3 points ago

At yeast keep the pun going ya loaf!

[–]DarkFox08 1 point2 points ago

Don't cut yourself. That thing is dangerous.

[–]Ryanjoseph89 0 points1 point ago

It's the best thing since sliced bread

[–]dancepanda 1 point2 points ago

STOP BEING RETARDED

[–]STOP_BEING_RETARDED[S] 64 points65 points ago

Hah! It's funny because that's my username!

[–]sweetpotatosaurus -1 points0 points ago

I do not believe it.

[–]dma1965 -1 points0 points ago

I often wonder how long it will be until the TSA catches into this

[–]LoveReddit2Bits -1 points0 points ago

I prefer to smash pumpkins with my sammy

[–]GenkiElite 0 points1 point ago

AOTS cut cheese with one when it was first introduced to the market but thanks anyway.

[–]heroman44 0 points1 point ago

Didn't Microsoft cut a cake with the Air's when they came out.

[–]shadow321337 0 points1 point ago

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

The Macbook Air is not only highly rated, it's serrated.

[–]VoRicebowl 0 points1 point ago

Don't forget the frisbee function!

[–]bikebikeartart -1 points0 points ago

Oh god, I haven't laughed out loud in the past few days.

[–]pan0ramic 0 points1 point ago

I sure hope you washed the mac before you did this. Laptops get really gross.

[–]in3b 0 points1 point ago

I have yet to use mine for this, never again will i need a knife.

[–]Ryuuken1127 -1 points0 points ago

Your username caused me to upvote

[–]luddy420 0 points1 point ago

That's an expensive knife.

[–]Damasticator 0 points1 point ago

We need a picture of a Macbook Air being used to cut an apple.

[–]Hitchhiking_Moose 0 points1 point ago

There's an app for that...

[–]timetowastetime 0 points1 point ago

FWP: My laptop doesn't cut bread.

[–]WhalePIMP 1 point2 points ago

Seems dangerous for MacBook air owners...

[–]pokeman7452 0 points1 point ago

The feature is not only being incredibly thin, but having no HDD means it cannot be damaged by rapid acceleration (dropping, shaking, jerking.)

[–]gormster 0 points1 point ago

Except that's the old MBA, so it might still have a spinning disk in it

[–]Domodude17 -1 points0 points ago

you should probably stop being retarded with you laptop

[–]MusicMedic 0 points1 point ago

My friend used to sell Apple computers at Best Buy. He once sold an Air by cutting a cake with it.

[–]Anon123212321 1 point2 points ago

Snackbook air?

I'll leave now.

[–]platonic_sheep -1 points0 points ago

Or worst feature, depending...

You should avoid putting mac book airs in bags with energy drinks. They try and get too close to each other. And that level of PDA doesn't end well...

[–]candystripes 0 points1 point ago

LIES!

[–]StuffAndWords 0 points1 point ago

I get it. First world problems.

[–]JohnnyVNCR -1 points0 points ago

Slowpoke.jpg

[–]photoknut 1 point2 points ago

Yes, its a repost from a long time ago. This is still a better repost...

http://www.engadget.com/2008/06/01/hp-exec-cuts-birthday-cake-with-macbook-air/

[–]Miss_Cracker 0 points1 point ago

Wow it's like a computer that can do anything!

[–]elderberry86 0 points1 point ago

Do you need an app for that?

[–]madoog 0 points1 point ago

...but wait, there's more!

[–]ne0nbl00d 0 points1 point ago

I call bullshit. That looks like quality crusty bread. Only a fine-toothed serrated knife will cut crusty bread such as that without squashing it. Maybe if it was a muffin, but that doesn't look like a muffin.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!?! 😱

[–]jeffneezi 0 points1 point ago

Things to look for when buying a faptop. 1. can i slice bread with it? 2. its not a bread knife

[–]brokendimension -1 points0 points ago

Why not a Dell Adamo?

[–]NickTheHalfling 0 points1 point ago

HEY, STOP_BEING_RETARDED!

[–]roadhand 0 points1 point ago

But wait ! There's more ! Order in the next 10 minutes and receive ...

[–]w1ll1amz 0 points1 point ago

When I use my Air while in bed I get deep lines on my hands from resting them on the edge :( first world problems

[–]markman71122 0 points1 point ago

I forgot to laugh.

[–]XxRaceBoy24xX 0 points1 point ago

Although I have a MacBook Pro, I too think that is a pretty cool feature.

[–]aysurfer 0 points1 point ago

What's up with that keyboard??

[–]aikoneco 0 points1 point ago

that's .... that's not a macbook air.

[–]christophla 0 points1 point ago

Warm's the bagel too!

[–]frankneuro 0 points1 point ago

Thats the original Mac Book Air. The newer models are even thinner.

[–]jedi22 0 points1 point ago

That's not a macbook air.

[–]Keiserwillhelm 0 points1 point ago

and the best thing is, once you've sliced your bread, you can toast it on the back of the case

[–]pujuma 0 points1 point ago

Love my MBA 1st Gen

[–]Blackboxeq 0 points1 point ago

Toasts the Bread while it cuts huh?

[–]donkey_on_the_moon 0 points1 point ago

And now you have given Apple a "new" idea that they could also put their logo on a $20 knife and sell it for $200....and instead of just starting out making the knife as sharp and light as possible they will slowly sharpen and thin it every year a resell it.

[–]Ullnotthink 0 points1 point ago

repost from 9gag... sad sad day

[–]lost_and_crowned 1 point2 points ago

I have the cheaper 13 inch air. I fucking love it. I game out on it too. I play swtor running parallels. My fps struggles in some scenarios, but I know I could get a higher fps if I installed boot camp.

MacBook air has been great for me.

[–]gloube -3 points-2 points ago

I love when people buy a Mac to run bootcamp on it. They buy a product with overpriced hardware and useless software, but they tell everyone that macs are great. How retarded can you be?

[–]lost_and_crowned 2 points3 points ago

You should learn how to read. It might make you seem less stupid. Nowhere in my post did I say I bought a Mac to run boot camp. It's merely a feature I'm considering.

And I like Mac's OS more than Windows. Deal with it.

[–]STOP_BEING_RETARDED[S] 3 points4 points ago

Bootcamp allows you to run both OS X and Windows. What's so bad about having both installed?

[–]xandan 1 point2 points ago

I guess that's some cutting edge technology you got there.

[–]Thepoopsniff -1 points0 points ago

its the ONLY useful feature

[–]fence300 -2 points-1 points ago

Dude, is that sourdough? I'll be really impressed if it is. Those things are harder than rocks.

[–]speedyjohn 6 points7 points ago

Also much much more delicious than rocks.

[–]vstaros -1 points0 points ago

At least it's not a re-post from forever ago...