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all 50 comments

[–]MsLogophile 35 points36 points ago

God dammit I hate seeing little kids eat for this exact reason. Chewing like that grosses me out.

[–]SettinBootyTraps 12 points13 points ago

Oh Christ, I can't stop laughing!!!

[–]Money-Treant -1 points0 points ago

Samezies! FUCK!

[–]Pickled_Pankake 12 points13 points ago

My own mother is like that and I can't stand it.

[–]ParakeetNipple 28 points29 points ago

I can hear the smacking...

[–]Oscar_Wilde_Ride 12 points13 points ago

In high school I had a group of friends and we'd go to Taco Bell basically every friggin day. One guy was an open-mouth-smacker type of chewer. The other was that closed mouth, jaw clicker-type, but it was a deep click. Not a tapping or knocking, but like two sizable bones were colliding and then displacing each other and sliding out of place for a centimeter or more.

The fourth guy, some friggin how, never noticed it. So it was just me sitting there steadily getting more and more annoyed.

[–]regsTHC 24 points25 points ago

I first read this as "trying to eat YOUR younger relatives"

[–]TheRandomDot 6 points7 points ago

I read 'tender and juicy'

[–]CannibalIowa 1 point2 points ago

I can get behind this

[–]squeeeeenis 5 points6 points ago

You've all been there

Actually one relative has to be the youngest. Not sure really why I just posted that information.

[–]dorky2 2 points3 points ago

But unless you're a twin, you've been the youngest relative for at least some length of time.

[–]TimonAndBumba 1 point2 points ago

I don't really have close relatives so I haven't been there.

[–]ThisIsHerp 14 points15 points ago

Every second that goes by i think of punching them square in the face. But i know i cant :(

[–]danielkuzmin 5 points6 points ago

After reminding the kid multiple times, I just stop eating and calmly leave the table. It's disgusting. It's the parent's fault. You should teach your fucking kids table manners. Goddammit. The first time I have sushi in months and the little fucker ruins it. Sorry I was mad.

[–]Weynard_Muldrake 0 points1 point ago

11 year old niece still eats like that. Every one has told her for years to chew with her mouth closed, but nope.

[–]ThisIsHerp 1 point2 points ago

Your not the only one mate i had a few times that ill mannered kids ruining my eating experiences trying new food or at a restaurant, But you know what's worse when you little cousins come with you to an restaurant and embarrass you by their horrible manners.

[–]danielkuzmin 0 points1 point ago

Good to know. My father was ridiculously intolerant of bad table manners, he would yell at ANYONE who would dare to chew with their mouth open, so I picked it up, an I get even more pissed than I should.

[–]ThisIsHerp 0 points1 point ago

Well i had a "friend" no not a friend more like a aquintance at my house my dads friends son, he chewed with his mouth open and my brother made a joke.. He laughed and spit on me and my moms food. God damn thinking back at that i wouldnt to murder him

[–]BB0214 4 points5 points ago

As a nanny of two, I shudder violently...

[–]chalklady0 8 points9 points ago

These two go together sooo well. Thanks for the giggle.

[–]Nomad9611 2 points3 points ago

Does anyone here happen to have a link to a .gif of the little guy on the bottom left by himself?

[–]TheSox3 5 points6 points ago

I've definitely been there! XD

[–]Delaneyloes 2 points3 points ago

HAHA i have a 6 year old nephew who does the exact same thing. All day... Every day...

[–]ZeraskGuilda 2 points3 points ago

Been there and fucking hate it.. Hell, my dad chews like a fucking cow.

[–]32Dog 2 points3 points ago

This is genuinely funny! not many funny things reach the front of /r/funny, but this really made me laugh!

[–]Flantastic185 0 points1 point ago

Ahem now look back at the head of the deer type thing.

[–]joeingo 1 point2 points ago

Well thank you for this. I will now think of the female reproductive system every time I see a deer; could have been worse.

[–]Flantastic185 0 points1 point ago

It always could be worse... that's how I get through anything

[–]AnimalDoctor88 1 point2 points ago

My grown-ass housemate does this. It drives me fucking batshit.

[–]chiggins89 2 points3 points ago

Same, I tell him to chew with his mouth closed and he's like "huh?...I am!" then carries on with his mouth closed, but now you can hear it through his fucking nose somehow?! This disgusting squelching-snorting mess, like he's inhaling it down like a fucking engine air intake...

Thank fuck I'm moving out...

[–]wyattshero 0 points1 point ago

I couldn't stop laughing, so true

[–]Batticon 0 points1 point ago

UGH. so gross.

[–]kearbearpoo 1 point2 points ago

[–]Gingerfeld 1 point2 points ago

Anyone else see his cheeks as little deformed arms?

[–]Pooploser-69 1 point2 points ago

You made me laugh out loud so hard !!!

[–]LTshrink 0 points1 point ago

Pet peeve...

[–]manfrmearth 0 points1 point ago

That awkward moment you realize you have younger relatives

[–]xenostrife 0 points1 point ago

younger relatives? you're damn lucky, my uncle still does this every time he eats..

[–]dorky2 0 points1 point ago

Or, in my case, trying to eat with my boyfriend.

[–]cycostinkoman 1 point2 points ago

The pain. I also have misophonia, which is a condition that causes me to hate/despise certain sounds, loud eating being one of them.

I may punch a child one day.

[–]Deculsion 0 points1 point ago

Bet you hate screeching noises like say.. METAL ON GLASS

[–]cheesefalcon 0 points1 point ago

What was the original worm thing from?

[–]Lacrez 0 points1 point ago

I'm sitting at my desk and people are looking at me because I'm laughing loudly. Well played Sir, well played!

[–]Exoseifer 0 points1 point ago

Oh god my heart!

[–]Bobbarkersmicrophone 0 points1 point ago

My 22 year-old best friend still eats like this. Annoys the hell out of me

[–]redweasel 0 points1 point ago

Semi-apropos: when my niece was two, she ate a slice of pizza by face-planting and munching away. It was hilarious and I got video. I don't know if I still have it, though; there've been a few hard-drive crashes since then.

[–]AwkwardInsomniac77 0 points1 point ago

My mother have me a crazy look when I started laughing hysterically at my phone. Well done, good sir.

[–]JGPH 0 points1 point ago

I have a cousin in his late 30s who still eats with his mouth open. Something so simple... :|

[–]edog316 0 points1 point ago

dude feel your pain my 7 year old cousion smucks really hard