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all 139 comments

[–]Britty28 103 points104 points ago

As a straight woman, I know that feels bro

[–]zyzzogeton 54 points55 points ago

Letting Reddit know you are a straight woman? You've made a terrible mistake.

[–]sdtacoma 40 points41 points ago

As a straight man, I know tits feel too

[–]Pony_Stanza 56 points57 points ago

You're a redditor. No, you don't.

[–]GoodGuyAnusDestroyer 21 points22 points ago

I do, I'm pretty close with my family though.

[–]TheBranleur 9 points10 points ago

With your sister and your mom?

[–]walkingtheriver 0 points1 point ago

Not his sister. Just his mom.

[–]filladellfea 156 points157 points ago

[–]Reflextion 28 points29 points ago

I don't know what i expected

[–]stumanktm 20 points21 points ago

Tits

[–]sundowntg 11 points12 points ago

I figured they were going to post birds.

[–]sizeby 84 points85 points ago

As a straight female, thank you thank you thank you

[–]walterqxy 13 points14 points ago

Hey! My eyes are up here.

[–]Fullyscared 22 points23 points ago

You pig!

[–]EpicDonutsistaken 48 points49 points ago

As a straight male, fuck you fuck you fuck you.

[–]XavierMendel 14 points15 points ago

As an asexual male, I have a similar degree of facial hair right now, which reminds me to shave.

[–]MooseMoosington 1 point2 points ago

His abs are all weird and stuff.

[–]Confucius_says 1 point2 points ago

i wonder how many "straight" females click links that are labeled tits

[–]mike_birbiglia 20 points21 points ago

mmmmmmmmmm

[–]tonight__you 10 points11 points ago

Please god, be the real Mike Birbiglia.

[–]GoodGuyAnusDestroyer 24 points25 points ago

I would stick my meat into... well actually, I'm kind of shy.

[–]harmonicfoxy 31 points32 points ago

I don't believe I've ever met a shy anus destroyer before...

[–]manuel_robot_cleaner 5 points6 points ago

MIKE.

MIKE PLEASE BE YOU.

PLEASE

[–]mike_birbiglia 0 points1 point ago

:|

[–]Cyralea 9 points10 points ago

...Commander Sheppard?

[–]Zoids 9 points10 points ago

As a straight male, he is pretty good lookin.

[–]manuel_robot_cleaner -4 points-3 points ago

I don't enjoy these tits :(

[–]Vegaprime 10 points11 points ago

I seen a pierced scrot with a thousand needled anus today... Yet to see a pair of tits.

[–]manuel_robot_cleaner 2 points3 points ago

You aren't alone. That really needed a better tag than NSFW.

[–]Ting413 2 points3 points ago

I also saw that. Needed some eyebleach.

[–]manuel_robot_cleaner -2 points-1 points ago

r/gonewild is the place for you, mate.

[–]Tr1pla 53 points54 points ago

[–]daemon14 17 points18 points ago

Why did I keep that gif open until the end?

[–]ChristmasDeviant 10 points11 points ago

Why did I watch it twice.

[–]sadasasimile 57 points58 points ago

[–]cnostrand 24 points25 points ago

[–]PirateMug 13 points14 points ago

Aw man... I wanted to see more birds.

[–]dluksa -1 points0 points ago

[–]theboneycrony 19 points20 points ago

[–]Trickasaurus-Rex 8 points9 points ago

I actually said "Oh gross" out loud when I opened that. I am really gay.

[–]marshallprs 0 points1 point ago

thank you.

[–]B_S_O_D 0 points1 point ago

Finally!

[–]dluksa 0 points1 point ago

Sauce?

[–]elanmorintedronai 6 points7 points ago

That's some mighty fine MS-Paint work there son.

[–]mayonesa 25 points26 points ago

Most people here are so socially inept and self-hating that they'll upvote any bloated, herpetic, obese or mutated mammary that floats across their screens.

Even non-gay dudes tire of the endless sophomore-year-of-high-school stuff. I'd prefer we went back to elementary school, where it's all farts and firecrackers, that kind of stuff.

[–]Pony_Stanza 15 points16 points ago

Farts and firecrackers > everything.

Respek knuckles.

[–]BrahCJ 6 points7 points ago

Please excuse the ignorance, I'm genuinely interested. Are tits actually a major turn off for you? Do you rush to look the other way as I do when I see a ball sack on my screen?

I was under the impression that gay and straight men had a mutual, agreeable respect for a ladies norks!

[–]tarrox1992 18 points19 points ago

I actually have an aversion to the female mammary glands. And I always receive an avalanche of downvotes for my opinion. :(

[–]BrahCJ 2 points3 points ago

Get him! He's different!

I'm sorry to hear that.... That you don't know the wonders of books, that is.... Poor bloke.

[–]tarrox1992 1 point2 points ago

I love books, but the way boobs jiggle just... unnerves me...

[–]t6393a 5 points6 points ago

I see them as gross sacks of fat. I don't understand the obsession with them. I don't scream and look away like straight guys do with dicks though. They just seem so totally useless to me.

Now vaginas on the other hand... oh god. Wet, disgusting meat caves.

[–]missiemarie 1 point2 points ago

no, hes saying he sees the NSFW and clicks all happy .. only for it to be boobies .. which most gay guys I know dont find disgusting but will eventually become ho-hum

[–]hombresincero 2 points3 points ago

I'm gay and I have zero feelings about boobs. I'm not repulsed when I see them (same with vaginas -- it's just a human body) but at the same time I don't understand the attraction.

[–]gayweed 1 point2 points ago

Exactly the same here.

[–]boyasunder 3 points4 points ago

Also legit question: do you, as a straight dude, have an agreeable respect for other dude's cocks? Like you're totally cool with them just showing up? Or are you kinda put off by random internet dickage?

[–]negasomething 1 point2 points ago

Some gay guys like boobs. I don't get it. I think it's more about the supposed boobie-power than any kind of sexuality. Boobs don't ruin a boner for me, but it sure is a waste of time to see.

Side story: This girl in one of my classes pressed her boobs into my arm trying to get me to help her cheat later. Like up on the tips of her toes making it very obvious. My flaming homosexuality deflected her boobie-power and I smited that bitch with a 99% on the test. Apparently she couldn't get any of the guys in an art class to succumb to titties so she dropped that class.

[–]defleppardsucks 16 points17 points ago

Glad i'm not gay. Tits are rad.

[–]ghost_victim 22 points23 points ago

I'm gay, but tits are still pretty rad imo.

[–]CoolUsernameMan 4 points5 points ago

Every gay friend whose opinion I've asked on tits have always voted in the positive.

[–]elcollin 4 points5 points ago

I know a gay dude who's totally neutral. No interest in them at all.

[–]ukiyoe -2 points-1 points ago

He may be asexual.

[–]elcollin 2 points3 points ago

He's not.

[–]Amain153 7 points8 points ago

My philosophy is that any and all sexual bits that dangle and/or jiggle make me happy

[–]zShwagg 14 points15 points ago

Dude, gay guys still like tits, just not in the way you straight guys do. Tits are rad no matter your gender or sexual orientation.

[–]andytronic 5 points6 points ago

Not all of us do.

[–]zShwagg 1 point2 points ago

Sorry. I addressed us as a whole when I should of said "most" or something.

[–]FVBAR 4 points5 points ago

I hope for tits and get gore.

[–]batfan20 7 points8 points ago

Plenty of cocks on chatroulette.

[–]firebat707 15 points16 points ago

too bad they are all bottom of the barrel

[–]MattieShoes 0 points1 point ago

Is there a gay-man equivalent to pictures of tits? Because if nekkid men are the same to gay men as nekkid women to a straight man, then what is the equivalent to pictures of tits? Shirtless men aren't as taboo.

Aww, now I'm feeling bad for gay men, they don't have the equivalent of tits pictures!

[–]jimb3rt 7 points8 points ago

We like da but.

[–]TheArtofPolitik 1 point2 points ago

As a gay man, I can confirm this.

[–]patmcdoughnut 1 point2 points ago

dicks

[–]whotoldbrecht 0 points1 point ago

Nice pecs are almost equivalent to boobies. :3

[–]twelvedogs 2 points3 points ago

[–]optoomal2 1 point2 points ago

Yep... Pretty much

[–]kenziigee13 0 points1 point ago

Atleast he has mini tacos in his fridge?

[–]ego-madness 0 points1 point ago

I have a gay friend that we (including his boyfriend) tease about not liking breasts. Stupendous Breasts.

All in good fun, though. XD

[–]averagewerewolf 0 points1 point ago

Yes. Me too.

[–]Goltork2 0 points1 point ago

Usually on Reddit a nsfw link is gross stuff.

[–]sounds84 1 point2 points ago

So in that oh so rare occurrence when I have to suffer the terror of an unexpected penis I know that somewhere someone else is getting a pleasant surprise. Good to know!

[–]whitevandal -1 points0 points ago

Debated that click for a full 40 seconds.

Was not disappointed.

[–]Draiko 0 points1 point ago

Tits in a bag... that's brilliant.

[–]dubhead669 0 points1 point ago

Lol thanks for the laugh

[–]teusz16 1 point2 points ago

Was expecting this: http://i.imgur.com/2zv3I.gif

[–]Shuyo 0 points1 point ago

Oh how I know that feel.

[–]idgogayforthat -1 points0 points ago

amen, brother!

[–]TardisMechanic 1 point2 points ago

I was thinking about this today. Us straight dudes have gotten pretty complacent, every now and then I see dick and it use to shock me but Reddit fixed that...

[–]MissingRectum 0 points1 point ago

As a hetrosexual male, this is funny as fuck

[–]foolinthezoo 0 points1 point ago

As a straight male, I still kinda know how that feels

[–]amnah 0 points1 point ago

[–]4nonymo 0 points1 point ago

If it's any consolation, since the advent of the internet my rate of seeing dicks has skyrocketed beyond tolerable levels. I'd say I've seen more dicks than a midget in a gay bar over the last decade, and I'm not including the incidental dicks in porn.

[–]SpaceManAndy 0 points1 point ago

Wholeheartedly feel for ya. Every time I go oooh, NSFW, I'm gonna hit save and look at it on my phone later. Ok, pull it up on my phone, go to reddit, hit saved... and it's tits. Damn.

[–]kartoffeln514 -2 points-1 points ago

That's exactly how I feel when I see a FB post of a gay friend of mine.

[–]Basteh -2 points-1 points ago

genuine question of curiosity here, does it ruin the 'mood' for you if you see a womans breasts, like for instance myself being straight if i see a guy with a sick pack and a raging hard on it kind of ruins the mood for me greatly and i feel as if i will have to look at porn later, is it the same for you and female breasts ?

[–]TheArtofPolitik 1 point2 points ago

Genuine question of curiosity here, wat?

Do you have random muscled guys walking in on you during sex? When the heck would that happen?

I've never had boobs, disembodied or otherwise appear while I've been having sex with my boyfriend.

[–]Basteh -1 points0 points ago

/facepalm i meant whilst looking at porn did you not read my comment

[–]TheArtofPolitik 1 point2 points ago

You said

if i see a guy with a sick pack and a raging hard on it kind of ruins the mood for me greatly and i feel as if i will have to look at porn later

Which translates to "If i see a hot guy, it ruins the mood, and so i feel as if i'll have to look at porn later to make up for it". Maybe try better phrasing.

In any case, no, my boyfriend and I don't tend to watch porn which has women in it, but it's not something that is a complete turn off. It's quite easy to ignore the woman and just watch the guy fuck.

What we're attracted to is masculinity, the same way straight guys can watch straight porn even with men with elite bodies. You're watching it because you're attracted to femininity, and because you enjoy watching the act.

[–]Abezilla116 -1 points0 points ago

I regret to inform you that some men, do indeed have tits. They're just not as perky or nice to look at.

[–]alpineswirl -2 points-1 points ago

You're so off base here. I am a straight man, and recently I've clicked on NSFW posts with my semi-cocked penis in my hand only to see gory shit. You don't know NSFW disappointment like I do.

[–]Antares_ -2 points-1 points ago

So, you try to say, you're disappointed when you see tits? OMG WTF?! You don't belong here.

[–]ghast66000 -3 points-2 points ago

lol as a straight man I WANT BOOBIES

[–]MrTorres -2 points-1 points ago

Shut up faggot, go hang yourself.

[–]Darth2132 -5 points-4 points ago

I feel the urge to tell a gay joke coming over me.

[–]Roo1kat -5 points-4 points ago

I understand that you're gay, but how does one not-like boobies?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]delofan 21 points22 points ago

Such a stupid novelty account.

[–]Pony_Stanza 21 points22 points ago

Chick-fil-a CEO Dan Cathy account discovered.

[–]I_STAB_HIPSTER_FILTH 5 points6 points ago

HEY GUYS I'M EDGY ON THE INTERNET! U^

[–]Jaguartactics 4 points5 points ago

You don't really belong on reddit then. For the most part we're very accepting of everyone. Except if your name is swagmonsteryolo

[–]strobexp 0 points1 point ago

I care what he thinks.

[–]NonPlayableCunt -3 points-2 points ago

I enjoyed this because it is wildly inappropriate and in direct conflict with the reddit hivemind.

Bigots have opinions too, guys!

[–]delofan 1 point2 points ago

So would you enjoy a neo-nazi barfing antisemitism on the screen because it is "wildly inappropriate" and "in direct conflict with hivemind"? Yes, bigots have opinions too, and I think we can all agree that while they have the right to voice them, we have the right to find them repugnant.

[–]NonPlayableCunt 0 points1 point ago

I have a right to be amused by their small-mindedness. My reaction is different, but no more incorrect than yours.

Good day sir!

[–]lynxman89 1 point2 points ago

I find that you wont discover many like minded individuals here on reddit when you disagree with the hivemind. Your point of view here is really a breath of fresh air.