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1250
1251

Harden (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by eddyc411

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[–]thirt13n 40 points41 points ago

What's this? Metapod is evolving! Prematurely.

[–]scruffy01 18 points19 points ago

It's OK, it happens to all Metapods.

[–]ChrispyK 74 points75 points ago

But it shouldn't have to happen to yours! Introducing PP-UP, the once a day pill that makes sure your Metapod is always able to perform, whether it's in the blistering heat of battle or the seductive allure of the Daycare Center.

Discuss your Metapod's general health status at your PokeCanter to ensure that your Pocket Monster     
is healthy enough to engage in sexual activity. If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other 
discomforts during mating, seek immediate medical help.

In the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help to avoid 
long-term injury.

If your Pocket Monster is over level 65, or has serious liver or kidney problems, your doctor may 
start you at the lowest dose (25 mg) of PP-UP. If you are taking protease inhibitors, such as for 
the treatment of poison, your doctor may recommend a 25 mg dose and may limit you to a 
maximum single dose of 25 mg of PP-UP in a 48-hour period.

Do not use PP-UP if you take nitrates, often prescribed for chest pain, as this may cause a 
sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure.

PP-UP: When the moment is right, will your Pokemon be ready?

[–]taggedjc 6 points7 points ago

Actually, PP Up can never prevent Harden from failing. Harden can only fail if Metapod's defense is already boosted to the maximum; if he is out of PP he will be forced to use String Shot, Tackle, or Struggle.

/oblivious

[–]andy98725 3 points4 points ago

That's part of the parody.

[–]fail_girl -1 points0 points ago

Dammit! I thought I was the only one who thought this was hilarious. I had a shirt concept and everything :(

[–]The_Pony_Rapist 26 points27 points ago

False.

Harden is a defensive type move. Which cannot fail unless one has already hardened to the point of not being able to harden anymore. Which isn't the case. If you catch my drift.

[–]taggedjc 5 points6 points ago

So what you're saying is that once you use Harden so much that trying to Harden again is going to fail, you should use String Shot next instead?

[–]The_Pony_Rapist 0 points1 point ago

Yes. It's a good strategy. If you know what I mean.

[–]Drachri93 -3 points-2 points ago

I'm gonna tag you as "typical MLP fan" because of your username.

[–]yellowtag 4 points5 points ago

Oh yeah Mr. Smarty Pants Pony Rapist?! WHO'S THIS POKEMON? author

[–]The_Pony_Rapist 7 points8 points ago

Actually, I think it's a ditto. It changed into the background.

Sneaky sonovabitch.

[–]Gana0 2 points3 points ago

Kecleon

[–]The_Pony_Rapist 3 points4 points ago

False

That can't be possible. Kecleon does indeed disappear into its surroundings, but it's red zig-zagged line that it has on its belly does not. If it was a kecleon we would see its red zigzag line.

[–]yellowtag 0 points1 point ago

Dag nab bit!

[–]Sthr33 2 points3 points ago

I'm always Impressed by how much lift Team Rocket achieves. I think our Aeronautical Engineers should look into it.

[–]underground4550 3 points4 points ago

hmmm

[–]Tonytarium 0 points1 point ago

A young voltorb

[–]iBuzzKill 0 points1 point ago

it's pikachu...

in a pokeball.

[–]FuschiaKnight 1 point2 points ago

A Muk that used substitute with truly awful graphics?

[–]ShadowX22 -1 points0 points ago

Harden raises the user's Defense stat by one stage until the user is withdrawn, faints, or the battle is over.

These in-combat stat boosts can be stacked up to 6 stages (1.5x, 2x, 2.5x, 3x, 3.5x, 4x). So you can use Harden time 6 times before you are removed from the field of battle. You can pass these boosts in battle by using the move Baton Pass.

[–]The_Pony_Rapist -1 points0 points ago

Which unfortunately, Metapod cannot learn. But if metapod wants to harden and baton pass to an awaiting teammate to "Finish off" His lady friend...

[–]lydocia 0 points1 point ago

So he has hardened seven times already and now he can't harden anymore for this battle.

[–]PachoWumbo 10 points11 points ago

Eh, I just don't like how the artist drew both metapods' back as the front in this pic.

[–]being_inappropriate 1 point2 points ago

This bugged me as soon as I saw the pic and was surprised the top comments didn't mention it.

[–]pjocon4 5 points6 points ago

How many times is this going to be reposted?

[–]atperryman 5 points6 points ago

At least once every week or so. I've got dibs on next week

[–]new-socks 2 points3 points ago

However many times it's gonna get reposted is irrelevant. The question is how many times is it gonna get upvoted? As long as the majority likes it, whether or not it is reposted doesn't matter so stop bitching.

[–]pjocon4 0 points1 point ago

You are so wise

[–]new-socks 0 points1 point ago

I am too wise. I'm a wise ass!

[–]MathewMurdock 1 point2 points ago

I was expecting something about James Harden. I am disappoint.

[–]Collision21 2 points3 points ago

I came here expecting this to be about James Harden

[–]bmacnz 1 point2 points ago

Harden.

[–]RealBean 4 points5 points ago

I see what you did there..

[–]lnclincoln 4 points5 points ago

RELEVANT GIFS MAKE YOU A COMIC GENIUS!!!

[–]Jhas253 2 points3 points ago

Metapod used stringshot!

[–]The_Pony_Rapist 10 points11 points ago

Lol no he didn't.

[–]Timett_son_of_Timett 3 points4 points ago

later that night in the shower he sure as hell did.

[–]wawes 1 point2 points ago

This makes me sad

[–]mistermegusta69 1 point2 points ago

Metapod feels like a Betapod.

[–]InappropriatePanda 1 point2 points ago

This actually made me sad. Just look at the sadness in his eye :(

[–]Fancer 0 points1 point ago

/r/NoFap

[–]adoltswimmer 0 points1 point ago

I know that feel, bro.

[–]rx_8 0 points1 point ago

I saw this first on facebook... wtf

[–]SuperCath41st 0 points1 point ago

well, that was surprisingly sad. for some reason

[–]jpeace42 0 points1 point ago

Bahahahahaha. Classic.

[–]dan_v_ploeg 0 points1 point ago

i prol wouldnt be able to get hard if my wife already was either.

[–]AwesomeLlama 0 points1 point ago

Metapods are so misleading. Their backs always look like a face.

[–]bued07 0 points1 point ago

That's funny

[–]gregmolick 0 points1 point ago

I thought this was going to be about Jamres Harden

[–]Bcd_corey 0 points1 point ago

Now how is he going to use String shot on his girlfriend?

[–]Salsher7 0 points1 point ago

Funny pic but metapod actually is facing the other way. not the angry look but the chill look. Common mistake

[–]soulknight56 0 points1 point ago

He has ED. Evolution disfunction.

[–]phuphu 0 points1 point ago

You had one job!

[–]Garridy 0 points1 point ago

Was I the only one who thought this was a NBA post?

[–]stellachuu 0 points1 point ago

:( Metapod is part of the metamorphosis process. Technically he is still a kid...

[–]Rosie24601 1 point2 points ago

Stop judging him o wife of metapod.

[–]Fail_Panda -3 points-2 points ago

Metapod used charm, sleep powder, harden, then pound. Pokemon, date rape version

[–]climber588 -3 points-2 points ago

Metapod needs to evolve to use harden.

[–]tesnakeinurboot -4 points-3 points ago

This has to be the first time I've seen something on Facebook before Reddit.

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