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1087
1088

The secret test to get into heaven (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by butteryT

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[–]dlr6481 19 points20 points ago

I hope heaven does not keep a history of all the websites we visit.

[–]Tangent_M 26 points27 points ago

Heaven doesn't keep track because it doesn't exist. Ohhhhhhhhh.

Also: Use 7zip like the rest of us heathens.

[–]DuckReconMajor 2 points3 points ago

But a guy in another thread said it made his computer crash that he builded HIMSELF!

[–]jarjarbinks77 0 points1 point ago

I used to use 7zip but I really like bandizip now.

[–]CanadianWizardess 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, like r/atheism. Heaven won't like that.

[–]Teal_skies 1 point2 points ago

Just visiting a site does nothing to your track record. Saying "god is a weiner" however...

[–]Geige 0 points1 point ago

But god IS a weiner.

[–]heb0 1 point2 points ago

You have been banned from posting to /r/heaven [Read sidebar for more info].

[–]OrderTeam 0 points1 point ago

Wut?

[–]Jeroknite 0 points1 point ago

What point does that subreddit serve?

[–]heb0 0 points1 point ago

Without the promise that me might one day attain membership there, reddit would devolve into a whirlwind of rape, murder and debauchery as its members succumb to their hedonistic impulses.

[–]oD3 0 points1 point ago

It's OK. I use Tor.

[–]-Hastis- 0 points1 point ago

"The movie of your life" will be shown to everyone, muhahahaha (that was in a Chick cartoon tract)

Edit : haha, found it : http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0001/0001_01.asp

[–]Plexit 14 points15 points ago

Wait, hold up. No one else bought it?...Guys? Guys?! No one?!!

[–]WhaleProbe 8 points9 points ago

I bought it about 10 years ago and my license is still good. The guy can't be making any money. Can he?

[–]Plexit 7 points8 points ago

I don't think he is, but I also don't think he does it for the money, which is a real rarity in this day and age, I bought it for that sole reason.

[–]thebrok3nsystm 9 points10 points ago

Nice try, Mr. Winrar...

[–]Plexit 2 points3 points ago

Pfft, this definitely isn't my subtle marketing attempt to get people to pay for my software!

[–]toende 0 points1 point ago

Well open source is not exactly rare and usually not made because the creators wanna get rich.

[–]a_stray_bullet 0 points1 point ago

Poppycock. 100% of the programs I own are free.

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

You forgot the "" around free.

[–]jonnyrobotnik 4 points5 points ago

I almost did once, but if I recall they were asking for my address and other info that they didn't need.

[–]garlicdeath 1 point2 points ago

Maybe they were asking for your address to correctly bill your credit card.

[–]jonnyrobotnik 0 points1 point ago

They shouldn't need it for Paypal.

[–]bongoman1000 54 points55 points ago

Why the hell does no one use 7-Zip?

[–]Mosrhun 26 points27 points ago

Downvotes for truth? 7zip is the way to go.

[–]Doomshock 11 points12 points ago

The one true zip.

[–]byuu 9 points10 points ago

The biggest annoyance with 7-zip is its handling of .tar.(gz,bz2,xz) files: it forces you to extract the compression container first, so you get a single .tar file. Then you have to decompress that to get to your files. WinRAR does both in one step, or you can just view the contents right away.

It also doesn't auto-associate the default action with your file types on a default install, so you have to use the context menu or manually set up the associations and file icons. And the context menu isn't root level, but a submenu, so it takes a little longer each time you do something.

I use 7-zip anyway, just pointing out what could be better.

[–]niknarcotic 0 points1 point ago

Setting up file associations is simple. Just start 7-zip as admin and then set up your associations in the options screen. Close it and you have everything set up.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

You fucked that up. Some how posting a Minecraft comment in Atheism. I'm actually kind of impressed.

[–]teraflux 0 points1 point ago

Rar extract frog anyone? It's so mindlessly simple.

[–]gaspah 0 points1 point ago

7zip is too slow archiving. It doesn't utilise multithreading anywhere near as well as winrar. i have a 2x hex-core xeon x5670 machine and something that takes me say 2-5 minutes to pack with 7zip takes me about 5-10 seconds with WinRAR (that's not exaggerating the difference is really that much).

(both programs using maximum compression settings).

Also WinRAR as much nicer sfx options. I like to rebundle a lot of software i download so that its a single-click install. I make them so that they patch .dll files insert the serial key, silent install etc, nice icons or even make portable apps. I do this firstly so its easier for me to install as I fix a lot of PCs for friends/randoms etc and also so if I give software to someone I don't have to field phonecalls from them asking how to install it.

WinRAR >>>>>>> 7Zip

[–]ucecatcher 0 points1 point ago

Because 7zip chokes on some archives that open just fine in winrar.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Because: https://www.google.com/search?q=rar

[–]Wwwi7891 0 points1 point ago

Because it can't actually create RAR files.

[–]cass1o 0 points1 point ago

maybe stop making rar files.

[–]Mosrhun 25 points26 points ago

WinRar?... 7zip, nubs.

[–]butteryT[S] 19 points20 points ago

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GET INTO HEAVEN!

[–]Godssheep 4 points5 points ago

Someone people were on the interweb before 7zip came to replace Winrar.

get off my lawn!

[–]Mosrhun 0 points1 point ago

Well, so was I. Adapt with the times.

[–]Godssheep 1 point2 points ago

But it's too late for me to go in heaven...

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

You don't want in there anyway. God keeps bragging about all the people he killed. Hell is where it's at. Hang out with all the free thinkers.

[–]aDarkerKnight 3 points4 points ago

7-zip. Fuck yeah!

[–]henrik_se 3 points4 points ago

I've paid for WinRAR. Enjoy hell, bitches.

[–]king_of_the_universe 2 points3 points ago

No, see it's not that you go to Hell. You get a SECOND life on Earth (during which you can pay for WinRAR). Well, you did want to keep trying it out, no? It's not really a test, it's a secret button you can use to tell Heaven what you want.

[–]tangerinelemons 0 points1 point ago

This all sounds like a devilish plan to make us buy WinRAR twice...

[–]GophaKyorselv 4 points5 points ago

I bought PKZIP in like 1994. I was the one.

[–]Acurus_Cow 0 points1 point ago

Did you get it with bundled with PKUNZIP, or did you have to buy that to?

[–]GophaKyorselv 0 points1 point ago

Now that I think about it, they may have been sold separately... I think I needed to unzip something, bought the program, found out it wasn't what I needed, then bought the unzip.

[–]Plexit -1 points0 points ago

you get hell.

[–]caretaker82 11 points12 points ago

As a Linux user, I do not know this "WinRAR" of which you speak!

[–]Ray57 6 points7 points ago

I tried:

$ sudo apt-get install winrar
[sudo] password for ray57: 
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree       
Reading state information... Done
E: Unable to locate package winrar

Looks like I'm toasting my toes for the big downtime.

[–]im_only_kidding 1 point2 points ago

Well that's what you get, you heathen!

[–]monkat 1 point2 points ago

yum install unrar

...if you have non-free repos enabled. The difference is that we surrender our freedom for unrar, they sacrifice their freedom and their money.

[–]AFRUITPIE -1 points0 points ago

I knew what it was... but those dark times of paid archivers and 20 minute boot times are all over now.

[–]skringas 1 point2 points ago

What? I thought I was the only one!

[–]saxmanb 1 point2 points ago

is copyright infringement considered a sin by Christians?

[–]lexter89 0 points1 point ago

I don't know, but Jesus sure did look and act communist so I bet he be cool with it

[–]nermid 0 points1 point ago

Considering how much of Revelation is just Isaiah copy/pasted, I hope not.

[–]LvL87BalloonWizard 2 points3 points ago

Wait, what? Am I the only one who actually bought WinRAR on purpose?

Oh, well. More heaven for me!

[–]djdais 2 points3 points ago

I did one better.

I bought mIRC.

[–]Softice4 1 point2 points ago

I thought winrar is all about to extract pirate software. Who's buying a software to use it for pirating? I smell trap here

[–]burntham77 0 points1 point ago

I paid for an image viewing program once. Viewsomething? It had a great slide-show feature before the internet had video.

[–]porscheguy19 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of one of my favorite "god-comics".. about the Westboro baptist people making it to heaven!

[–]Firelink 0 points1 point ago

There is also that guy who got winrar for his birthday.

[–]prayerheals 0 points1 point ago

Nice try, Rarlab.

[–]digitlworld 0 points1 point ago

Nice try, Alexander Roshal.

[–]overcast23 0 points1 point ago

But....but, I bought Getright! Doesn't That count for anything!

[–]im_only_kidding 0 points1 point ago

I bought a hundred copies! #HEAVEN4LYFE

[–]pittooth 0 points1 point ago

By using 7zip you should high-five satan every time you pass him skiing on the lake of fire while Hitler drives.

[–]Sphinctuss 0 points1 point ago

This post is viral marketing done by winrar to increase their license sales!

[–]DemosthenesDR 1 point2 points ago

Good try Winrar, still not buying a license.

[–]SamuelBiggs 0 points1 point ago

Little did you all know, Winrar made this comic.

[–]11112222333334444 0 points1 point ago

Yay! I'm going to heaven! It doesn't exist, though... Fuck!

[–]12barney -1 points0 points ago

Comment 100 trololololol

[–]n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3 1 point2 points ago

i swear i would buy it if i had money in the wallet. that and winamp. but probably winamp first. god i love both of those programs. forget food and shelter, i need a job so i can buy this software ive been using for free for 15+ years!

[–]eXePyrowolf 0 points1 point ago

Rofl its funny because it's true.

[–]kornty 0 points1 point ago

I tried to buy it once. But it honestly didn't work. The website was down, I took it as a sign from the internet that I didn't actually need to buy it.

[–]sock_rapist 0 points1 point ago

7zip is free so I don't know what your god is offering me

[–]ben876 0 points1 point ago

what about mac users?

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

You were damned when you bought a mac.

[–]ben876 0 points1 point ago

I wasn't asking for people to hate on me for having a personal preference in computers, I was just pointing out a huge hole in the story

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

And I was filling it. I truthfully don't give a damn what computer you use, but apparently god does.

[–]ben876 0 points1 point ago

touché

[–]tangerinelemons 0 points1 point ago

Jokes on them. I use 7-Zip.

[–]gaspah 0 points1 point ago

This kinda makes me feel bad for never buying winrar despite using rar since before winrar was out.

but wait a second.. why the fuck is this in r/atheism?

[–]Kidge 1 point2 points ago

this should be in r/funny as it has nothing to do with athiesm

[–]tigranater 0 points1 point ago

Yeah this was a genuinely funny comic, but really had nothing to do with atheism - just a cheap way to extract karma.

[–]billywitchdrdotcom 2 points3 points ago

I always thought, if god exists, the secret test goes something like this....

God: okay, I'm gonna get these humans to right this book about me. It's gonna be filled with contradictions and depict me as a horribly self-centered bigoted tyrant. Anyone who follows this book to the fucking letter or is just a generally horrible person is going straight to Hell. Anyone who sorta follows this book and is a decent person can ride heaven coach. Anyone who doesn't believe in me because of my obvious lack of evidence/interference and is a good person simply for the sake of being a good person is going straight to heaven 1st class.

Lucifer: that's a great idea father, I'm certain that no human will follow such a blasphemous book. Heaven will be filled to the brim with genuinely good people.

[–]Lots42 -2 points-1 points ago

And you couldn't link to the source why? Are you a jerk or just stupid?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

The comic has the URL on it.

Imgur is better for people with RES.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

So...we're going with stupid. Got it.

Edit: Fuck RES.

[–]butteryT[S] 0 points1 point ago

forlackofabettercomic.com

right on the image, man.

[–]Lots42 -2 points-1 points ago

So...again, stupid.

[–]butteryT[S] 0 points1 point ago

How so? I posted to Imgur because most people use Reddit Enhancement Suite. If the source hadn't been included on the image, as well as the author's signature, I wouldn't have posted it without posting the source in the comments.

[–]Lots42 -1 points0 points ago

Because it's rude to rehost on Imgur.

How about you go with what the webcomic creator wants?

[–]butteryT[S] -1 points0 points ago

If the creator added the source and his signature, I'm pretty sure it's safe to say he doesn't give a shit where it's re-hosted as long as we don't crop his info.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

Oh dear sweet monkey vomit, the stupid just keeps getting deeper.

[–]fjdsfy4893fd -1 points0 points ago

I know Jacob, the artist. If he had the choice, he would rather you linked to his site, even though it says it at the bottom. It's just better for the artist.

[–]NHFTHR -2 points-1 points ago

i know i dont pay for winrar but is it really that big of a deal that nobody pays for it? is it really so rare that someone pays for winrar that it makes the front page?

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