You see, it is a lesser known fact that once the human sub-species "Senioris Citizenius" reaches the prime age of Sixty-Five, they begin what is called a freedom dance. The females of the species gain weight and become more manly and fragile. Meanwhile, the males become more... Hands on shall we say? Eventually, both genders follow the migration path south, typically to humid and heat soaked climates such as Florida, Texas and Arizona. The heat from the air keeps their skin from getting loaded down with water molecules, this creating more and more wrinkles. The migration is a survival tactic if anything. Any who, once they have completed the migration, they will begin the mating dance of their species. It is typically hosted in areas where the sub-species "Younginus Whippersnapperitus" may be gathered. This is an act of the Senioris Citizenius to display dominance through their mating tactics. The Younginus Whippersnapperitus typically use secretive methods, sometimes including drinks of... certain chemical dispositions. The Senioris Citizenius have a much more forward mating ritual. They see what they want. They go get it.

We could all learn a lesson from the nearly extinct Senioris Citizenius.