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all 200 comments

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 526 points527 points ago

Reminds me of this (probably old) joke:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

[–]BobTheJew[S] 134 points135 points ago

YEES!!!

[–]Kongo204 72 points73 points ago

Not sure if you are actually jewish, or your name is a really bad racist joke

[–]BobTheJew[S] 65 points66 points ago

Ex-Jew.

[–]HeyLisn 41 points42 points ago

Once a Jew, always a Jew. Unless you weren't born into it. Then, you were never a Jew, get off our religion!

[–]BobTheJew[S] 95 points96 points ago

Someone's a bit uninviting.

[–]orzof 57 points58 points ago

Are you surprised that it's a Jew?

[–]BobTheJew[S] 38 points39 points ago

Not in the slightest.

[–]polarlover 16 points17 points ago

What are 'Jew' guys talking about?

[–]Roaning 14 points15 points ago

See, now you just sound Mexican.

[–]JupitersClock 8 points9 points ago

Its okay they're not that special =D

[–]SuperShamou 27 points28 points ago

Is that a smiley or a circumcised penis?

[–]JupitersClock 0 points1 point ago

Well now that you bring it up I can no longer use it as a smiley face.

[–]ryankiefer 11 points12 points ago

"I have a suspicion that he's converted to Judaism purely for the jokes."

[–]mendicant1116 10 points11 points ago

You don't turn in your library card. You don't just STOP being Jewish.

[–]BobTheJew[S] 16 points17 points ago

That's like saying "You're a Republican. Once a Republican, always a Republican. You don't just STOP being a Republican."

[–]fotiphoto 0 points1 point ago

Well only if you lost all your money. Then you would be a tree hugging hippy democrat. That lived in a van down by the river.

[–]gijane480 4 points5 points ago

but that's for republicans... Jews don't just "lose money"

[–]Professional_Asshat 1 point2 points ago

[–]meangrampa 2 points3 points ago

The ones that voted republican still believe that it's just a temporary setback and that they'll be rich soon. So they don't want to take any chances with their future wealth by changing the way they vote. That's why some poor are republicans to begin with. Once a republican always a republican.

[–]Citizen_Snip -4 points-3 points ago

Except Republican is not an ethnicity. You can't stop being Chinese, just like you can't stop being Jewish, assuming you are of Jewish ethnicity.

[–]BobTheJew[S] 14 points15 points ago

Well, that was an assumption which you had to have made independently.

[–]Citizen_Snip 7 points8 points ago

Taking hints as well as your username, I did in fact assume you were born Jewish, much like the greater percentage of those practicing Judaism. It wasn't a terribly unreasonable assumption to make.

[–]UlyssesSKrunk 9 points10 points ago

Judaism isn't an ethnicity, it's a religion almost entirely represented by one particular ethnicity. You can stop being Jewish like you can stop being Christian. But you can't stop being Israeli just like you can't stop being Irish. Judaism is just such a small but widespread religion that the religious beliefs are very intertwined with the Israeli ethnicity, and in the eyes of most people in the world Israeli=Jew, which kind of causes two different ideas of a Jew in the eyes of the Jews themselves, even though the rest of the world combines them together. That said, you can convert from Judaism to any other religion or just stop believing in a god all together just like any other religion, but you can't escape the ethnicity and heritage of the Jewish people and may be seen as a Jew, culturally and religiously, by outsiders.

[–]sLIPper_ 2 points3 points ago

Born in israel, was israeli, moved to australia at age 6, got citizenship in aus at age 11, became australian. Was israeli, now australian. point and case.

[–]buzzkill_aldrin 4 points5 points ago

Actually, while Judaisim is not an ethnicity, it is possible to be of Jewish ethnicity.

[–]Alexxandros 3 points4 points ago

Jews aren't an ethnicity either. Semites are the ethnicity. Judaism is a religion.....

[–]SunshineBlind 5 points6 points ago

If you can stop being the gender you were born into, you can god damn stop being Jewish as well. ;)

[–]Citizen_Snip 3 points4 points ago

You can't...

Unless you were to clone yourself, and remove all genetic material linking you to your Jewish ancestry and ethnicity, then change them, then create the clone, then kill yourself, and have the clone run around, you can't change your ethnicity.

[–]Achalemoipas 2 points3 points ago

Except Republican is not an ethnicity.

Neither is being jewish. There are jews of every ethnicity. In fact most of them aren't semites, they're caucasian europeans.

[–]anonymousMF 0 points1 point ago

Jewish is both an ethnicity as a religion. It are two seperate things with the same name. There are a lot of atheistic jews.

[–]xGrimReaperzZ 1 point2 points ago

Not sure if a mad Jewish person, or a really advanced joke..

[–]Zachary9 3 points4 points ago

Downvote for you, schylock. This post isnt nsfw you dip shit

[–]finallymadeanaccount 1 point2 points ago

You're not an ex-Jew until you grow back your foreskin.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]BobTheJew[S] 8 points9 points ago

Oh, wow. I didn't even notice. I guess there are some butthurt people out there?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]BobTheJew[S] 4 points5 points ago

Probably. But, to be honest, I did answer his question.

[–]Suttonian -1 points0 points ago

or a million downvotes.

[–]BobTheJew[S] 0 points1 point ago

Probably not.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]EltaninAntenna 0 points1 point ago

You could have gone the extra inch and photoshopped a foreskin between his fingers.

[–]nickboy98 -2 points-1 points ago

Of course... we're redditors... joining the site basically forces you to give up your religion!

[–]ABusFullaJewz 8 points9 points ago

Hey guys, what's going on in this thread?

[–]Bryz_ 5 points6 points ago

This joke reminds me of that one time I ate chocolate ice cream when I was little.

[–]XtReMeSaUcE 6 points7 points ago

This joke reminds me of that one time I ate chocolate ice cream when I was little.

Go on...

[–]collasta 19 points20 points ago

87 people died.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]UlyssesSKrunk 5 points6 points ago

[–]fastsauce 0 points1 point ago

That definitely seems like George W. Bush.

[–]supermandy 0 points1 point ago

Because one is a racist stereotype and one is a joke about the stupidity of Bush?

[–]alle0441 34 points35 points ago

There actually was something on the news not long ago like this. I believe it was a single car accident in AZ when a truck full of illegal immigrants hit a tree. Something like 14 dead and 3 injured. Sounded like an Onion article.

[–]zoidberg1339 24 points25 points ago

No, it was something like 22. Pickup chock full of people. It's a damn shame, but come on, that's the risk you take packing that many people in the back of a truck.

[–]Ihmhi 16 points17 points ago

I worked at a (now defunct, thank goodness) temp agency.

Our "free transportation" from the factory was a 14 passenger van.

For 18 people.

It was me, a black guy, the driver, and 16 Latinos who didn't speak English. The smell was godawful - not because of any stereotype, but because the factory wasn't air conditioned and was hot as balls. I showered that morning and took it easy and I still smelled like ass.

After telling the company about how the 14 passenger vans are already pretty unsafe and that overloading it just makes things worse, they just shrugged it off and offered to send me to another site under basically the same conditions. I worked there a grand total of one day and didn't even collect the lousy $40 I made.

Few months later, an asshole driver of one of those vans rolled it and killed a good few of the people in the overloaded van. The company shut down not long after that.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]zoidberg1339 0 points1 point ago

You've never heard the phrase "chock full of blank"?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]zoidberg1339 0 points1 point ago

To be honest, you lost me at the end there, alaskaman.

[–]Ronald_McFondlled 0 points1 point ago

hey, i laughed. that's all that's important is that somebody laughed.

[–]alaskaman42 0 points1 point ago

you just forever changed my view on life Ronald McFondled

[–]douggie2194 0 points1 point ago

Not really...

[–]tsenniche 0 points1 point ago

My family and I once fit 21 members of our family in our suv on an 3 hour drive in Baja California. It stopped being funny when cousins started loosening their gas valves.

[–]astrothug 3 points4 points ago

[–]Solsavage 1 point2 points ago

13 dead with like 22-28 people in the pickup truck.

[–]ThatGirl_Tasha 0 points1 point ago

And with that comment, I now get it.

[–]Magnesus 0 points1 point ago

The same thing happened in Poland with Polish people. One car, 11 people or sth, driving to work. Accident and a massacre at the same time.

[–]TheDude66 11 points12 points ago

how is this nsfw?

[–]TigerWylde 77 points78 points ago

wait... someone tells an ancient racist joke on FB - FB'rs friend screenshots it, posts it on Reddit - ....and THIS is what makes it to the front page..??

[–]sturmeh 37 points38 points ago

Don't forget the epic spraycan/mspaint job.

[–]Mmm_Creepers 40 points41 points ago

Don't forget how it's improperly flagged as NSFW.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Personally I put it into GIMP and use the blur tool but I guess people have different ways of doing things

[–]TigerWylde 0 points1 point ago

Photo tagging - by bart simpson?

[–]ExAmerican 10 points11 points ago

also it is incredibly NSFW

[–]Vranak 4 points5 points ago

If you click this, you WILL lose your job.

[–]Fuck_Facebook_Caps 15 points16 points ago

Anyone else think facebook captures belong in a separate subreddit?

They're not funny.

Who upvotes this crap?

[–]CobraStallone 11 points12 points ago

The Eternal Septembrists.

[–]Fuck_Facebook_Caps 1 point2 points ago

I think you're right Sly.

[–]HomerJunior 1 point2 points ago

THEY DO. Trying very hard not to go MrOhHai on OP.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

You created an account specifically for this. You must be pretty angry.

[–]Fuck_Facebook_Caps 0 points1 point ago

Not angry, disappointed that people are dragging this site down. It will become the next 9gag.

[–]TigerWylde 0 points1 point ago

I fully agree with you masked man! To a separate sub reddit with them!

Fuck_Facebook_Caps is the hero /Funny deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector.

[–]Lethalgeek 1 point2 points ago

Racists. aka a significant number of people on reddit.

[–]carlosi1 2 points3 points ago

yeah this is pretty much it.

[–]C_T_C_C 0 points1 point ago

Even more ironic, check out OP's name...

[–]Lampmonster1 0 points1 point ago

I don't think you get it. Some people don't have as much as we do and are forced to share, so when they die it's hilarious!

[–]AXVDF 10 points11 points ago

as a mexican, it's funny but I heard this joke 10 years ago... come on white people, keep up with the racism!

[–]metalizedblood 2 points3 points ago

no shit . i heard it on a tv show.bizare , the skit was called the bigot family. something about a family of 18 dying in mexico, the bed broke , early 80s maybe

[–]paranode 1 point2 points ago

It's not really even racism. It's like saying 'White people can't dance' or something. Just because it mentions a race/ethnicity/group doesn't mean it is inherently racist.

[–]Cejdej 28 points29 points ago

NSFW? Downvote...

[–]bstampl1 1 point2 points ago

Not Safe for Work because you'll get hit with extensive fines for employing 87 undocumented workers

[–]C_T_C_C 0 points1 point ago

Why the fuck is this NSFW?

I showed a Mexican priest this and he laughed his ass off.

[–]CreekDK 4 points5 points ago

As with PhiladelphiaIrish this reminded me of a bad danish joke (haven't heard it in english).

Last week a helicopter crashed in a cemetery nearby. So far 287 bodies have been found at the crash site..

[–]C_T_C_C 0 points1 point ago

What stereotype is this playing on?

[–]douggie2194 1 point2 points ago

None, it's just an old Danish joke. No stereotype.

[–]DonJunbar 15 points16 points ago

I thought posts are supposed to be funny.

[–]justabrickinthewall -3 points-2 points ago

I got a chuckle out of it.

[–]EsteemedGentleman 1 point2 points ago

No juan survived.

[–]TayCharles 8 points9 points ago

-What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

-Roberto.

[–]thejam15 -1 points0 points ago

Ba dum, tshhhh

[–]02blood 11 points12 points ago

Why not both?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]gz17 0 points1 point ago

At least it wasn't a van crash

[–]hooplah 7 points8 points ago

I'm thankful none of my friends are stupid enough to post drivel like this on Facebook, but then I come here and am exposed to it anyway.

[–]wut3v3r 1 point2 points ago

after purging my fb of "friends" who post this kind of drivel, reddit is sadly the most often place i see stuff like this...

[–]Ravenhaft 2 points3 points ago

God you seem like you must be a fucking blast at parties.

[–]wut3v3r 0 points1 point ago

THIS JUST IN: racism is the only way to have fun! those kool klan kidz throw da raddest parties, amirite??

[–]flyersfan018 1 point2 points ago

This joke is older than the internet. Congrats.

[–]I_WILL_VIOLATE 0 points1 point ago

This joke was posted on /r/imgoingtohellforthis not too long ago.

Faggot posts it on Facebook and everyone goes all OOH UPBOAT PLIS UPBOARRTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[–]Jedditor 2 points3 points ago

HAHAHAHAH racism and stereotypes are funny!

[–]so_many_squids -1 points0 points ago

Mexican is a nationality, not a race.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]flere 1 point2 points ago

I saw a car catch on fire and turn into a flaming fireball on the side of the highway. Smoke rose from the crash, filling the sky with a darkness that caused everyone to stop and look. I have no idea what caused it, but between the searing heat eminating from the flames, and the clouds of smoke that continued to tower over the scene, I could only stare.

Cars may not explode as in the movies, but that day, that wreck, those flames entombing anyone who was within in it to nothing but searing flames and ashes made me rethink just how quickly our lives could vanish without so much of a second thought. To this day I have no idea what could have caused it to burn that badly and suddenly, but it scared the hell out of me, and now I maintain my car quite regularly.

[–]C_T_C_C 0 points1 point ago

One of the cars could've spun off and hit a propane tank... causing and explosion

[–]orniver 0 points1 point ago

So... there are no buses in the US?

[–]fdtc_skolar 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of the LeMans crash of 1955 which involved one car with 83 people dying and 120 injured. The Mercedes left the track and plowed through a crowd.

Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1955_Le_Mans_disaster

[–]ajc3691 0 points1 point ago

quite certain i looked at this a few hours ago and it wasnt tagged as NSFW, so i clicked it expecting tits to be photoshopped into it

[–]BoojiBoy 0 points1 point ago

I can't tell if I should upvote because I get the joke or add redundant commentary in the form of a sarcastic questioning.

[–]shadymcnugget 0 points1 point ago

Played out long ago

[–]ImmortalImitator 1 point2 points ago

Hey, clowns are people, too.

[–]0r10z 0 points1 point ago

On the OP comment: 22 people per car? Not sure if joke, not sure if still jewish. I say we take a standing vote to vote Bob back into Judaism!

[–]frescaboof 0 points1 point ago

Why did the person that posted to imgur use Paint's smallest size dot paintbrush to block the FB user? One pixel at a time...

[–]incendiarypoop 0 points1 point ago

The same phenomena happens in India, which on account of its enormously high urban population density, gets suitably-enormous body counts for pretty much any major accident that would otherwise kill 1 or 2 people elsewhere.

[–]bigmeech 0 points1 point ago

It's neither, Bob.

[–]cl3v3rus3rname 1 point2 points ago

How is this nsfw?

[–]alec1310 -1 points0 points ago

so....nobody cares about the NSFW tag.......?

[–]Herpy_McDerp 0 points1 point ago

Why is this marked NSFW?

[–]ThatIndianGuy7116 0 points1 point ago

That was my exact reaction when I first heard that joke.

I apologized to the guy for ruining it

[–]Farlcoth 0 points1 point ago

I laughed, and it seemed the more I laughed the more racist it became.

[–]brucemanhero 0 points1 point ago

All I want was to read the comments to understand the joke better, instead I learned a lot about Jews.

[–]Master_Z 1 point2 points ago

Stereotypical Joke, not racist

The more you know

[–]TheWhovianCalculus 0 points1 point ago

Fun fact: just racist!

[–]jw2x 0 points1 point ago

why the FUCK NSFW?!

[–]MidIslandToker 0 points1 point ago

Only juan survivor..

[–]JTyler82 0 points1 point ago

After reading this a few times, I finally get it. Lol

[–]deidru -1 points0 points ago

This is just dumb... A bus can be involved in an accident with car and it's still called a car accident. This isn't funny, you're just a.racist fuck.

[–]Ruined534 0 points1 point ago

One of the oldest jokes of all time.

[–]roninzzz 0 points1 point ago

neither

[–]pikacz 0 points1 point ago

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [C-Note lays down a full house] A full house. That's a concept a Mexican should be quite familiar with, hey Jesus?

[–]SamWiseTheHobbit -1 points0 points ago

Your username makes this post better.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 1 point2 points ago

obligatory, "who said anything about a tragedy?"

[–]DoctorAlzheimers -1 points0 points ago

Insert "that'sracist.gif"

[–]BobTheJew[S] 6 points7 points ago

You mean this?

[–]octalpus 65 points66 points ago

I think he wants this.

[–]Atario 2 points3 points ago

Holy shit. How have I never seen this version before?

[–]BobTheJew[S] 2 points3 points ago

Just... have an upvote. xD

[–]DoctorAlzheimers 3 points4 points ago

Insert "that'sracist.gif" with KFC, watermelon, and basketball

[–]corananlime 0 points1 point ago

I feel as though I've seen this before.... Maybe different numbers.

[–]n5corp 2 points3 points ago

It's an incredibly old joke; much older than Facebook, and it certainly hasn't aged well.

[–]Probably_Insane 2 points3 points ago

Racist jokes in general don't age well. They're funny once, twice if they're really clever.

[–]CACKENBOOLS 1 point2 points ago

Fools be clownin'

[–]yankeezfan7777 0 points1 point ago

How many times can this joke be told....

[–]finallymadeanaccount 0 points1 point ago

"Why not both?"

[–]Miss_Cracker -1 points0 points ago

Hey that reminds me of a news report from a while back... Their was a wreck on the border of Mexico, ... Rose Gonzalez, Marie Gonzalez, Javier Gonzalez, Rodrigo Gonzalez, and Rose Marie Gonzalez were all on that scooter. But don't you worry cause all they had were scrapes and bruises, and the ran over armadillo isn't rotting on the ground, it's being eaten by the Gonzalez family now!:) back to you Harvey! Yah I know Mexicans have long names I just didn't want to write it out.

[–]Vranak 0 points1 point ago

Well, I will give you one thing, you chose an appropriate reddit handle.

[–]Vranak -1 points0 points ago

Heaven forbid they get around with really low fuel consumption per person.

[–]porarte -5 points-4 points ago

That's not funny it's just racist.

[–]mike413 -1 points0 points ago

A single engine plane crashed into a cemetery just outside town. So far, 200 bodies have been recovered.

[–]Mac_OS_X_Kitteh -1 points0 points ago

This should be in /r/ImGoingToHellForThis

[–]penultimator -2 points-1 points ago

A plane crashed in a Mexican cemetery. So far authorities have recovered 1,500 bodies.

[–]TigerWylde 0 points1 point ago

you're doing it wrong, post it on FB - take a Screen shot - THEN post it on Reddit. I hear it gets to the front page.