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all 133 comments

[–]Wachna 292 points293 points ago

Am I the only person that has never masturbated into a sock?

[–]Sweatydoughnut 79 points80 points ago

I prefer the shoebox myself.

[–]styxman34 53 points54 points ago

Once again, my attempt at pushing the cum box out of my mind has proven to be unsuccessful.

[–]Mantup 12 points13 points ago

I can't imagine trying to push the cumbox. Seems like it would just sort of, collapse. :/

[–]iRottenEgg 0 points1 point ago

Ehhhhhhehehewwwwww.

[–]adventureman66 16 points17 points ago

I don't get it, is it a reference to something?

[–]singhzzz 22 points23 points ago

The reference. It will forever ruin you. You have been warned.

[–]Westykins 21 points22 points ago

You can't just put the link up there and be like "LOL DONT CLIK"

[–]Salva_Veritate 13 points14 points ago

Yeah he can, if his goal is to tempt you into clicking. It is. And it's working.

[–]shags3379 4 points5 points ago

I didn't click, now I'm going to run away before i lose the self control.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]shags3379 1 point2 points ago

Damnit! I had forgotten about this until i got a notification. Must resist!

[–]okmkz 4 points5 points ago

LOL CLIK

[–]jb2386 0 points1 point ago

And he can be all like "I warned you!" after.

[–]adventureman66 0 points1 point ago

Meh, wasn't THAT bad.

[–]chingyduster 7 points8 points ago

Don't ask, I did, I regret.

[–]sheriff_skullface 3 points4 points ago

It's exactly what it sounds like.

[–]RichardBehiel -1 points0 points ago

You're lucky if you just try to push the cum box out of your mind. My mind is filled with cum boxes galore.

[–]Greyletter 0 points1 point ago

FUCK YOU MAN, FUCK YOU

[–]u_drty_lout 12 points13 points ago

I just cum in my hand, then go wash my hands...

[–]aedoss 19 points20 points ago

I do the same...But with no washing

[–]recipefordisaster 13 points14 points ago

Same here, HIGH 5!

[–]Harrasshole 17 points18 points ago

I'm there with you...

[–]Exec_Tran 4 points5 points ago

It's not as efficient as the internet would have you believe, it always leaks out, just stick to tissues/the shower

[–]iLander99 4 points5 points ago

I expect the sock to be ruined, so, no.

[–]High_Born_Manitee 6 points7 points ago

I like to jerk off into those really fuzzy socks that girls like to give me.

[–]Xshredder01X 9 points10 points ago

Do you then give them back?

[–]High_Born_Manitee 37 points38 points ago

Of coarse I do. What kind of sick fuck borrows something and doesn't give it back

[–]chuckmescudi -1 points0 points ago

this made me laugh so hard

[–]Incongruity7 2 points3 points ago

Thanks for letting us know.

[–]chuckmescudi 0 points1 point ago

You're welcome. Now hurry, the sock is waiting for you!

[–]TomatoChicken 7 points8 points ago

I'm with you... Just beat it in the shower.

[–]Show-Me-Your-Moves 4 points5 points ago

All right I'm about to blow your mind. Ready?

Boom

[–]Thewhoracle 3 points4 points ago

It's just so convenient. Climb into bed - grab phone porn - use sock - toss sock at laundry. Minimal clean up and no need to get back up before sleeping.

[–]Incongruity7 2 points3 points ago

Go anywhere private- grab paper towel/tissue- use hand- finish in paper towel/tissue - toss it in trash.

Minimal clean up and no need to waste a sock.

FYFY

[–]TheSurgeonGeneral 0 points1 point ago

Considering every time this pic is re-posted and this becomes the top comment... no... odds are you're not the only one.

[–]okan931 0 points1 point ago

You´re not alone....

[–]Taketotherails 0 points1 point ago

Its not "masterbated into a sock." That would just be gross.

Its "Doing the Laundry."

[–]adzug 0 points1 point ago

theyre just the right size though

[–]jngrow 0 points1 point ago

I have no idea how people even do it.. how does dry cloth feel good

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]electromagnetic_ice 1 point2 points ago

So, that's it? Finally some explained it in clear and concise terms. Thanks

[–]shaggietv4 0 points1 point ago

Cover the inside of the sock with Vaseline, Fap and finish

[–]mrwool 31 points32 points ago

The link has "Jjzz" in it.

[–]vaclavhavelsmustache 37 points38 points ago

So does the sock.

[–]Salva_Veritate 3 points4 points ago

That's actually kind of amazing.

[–]wazoheat 38 points39 points ago

What a dick.

[–]ldane 22 points23 points ago

[–]Bommenkop 8 points9 points ago

Risky click

[–]leex0 15 points16 points ago

Poor Sock, he's just trying to earn an honest living and provide for his family and he has to deal with shit like this.

[–]iwantpi 15 points16 points ago

This is clearly fake. Socks can't talk.

[–]aryaf 10 points11 points ago

It's not talking dummy, it's text-bubbling.

[–]kyerussell 1 point2 points ago

And we all know that if any sock is able to do any kind of 'bubbling', it'd be this one.

[–]chingyduster 2 points3 points ago

Thats because they know better

[–]planepizza 18 points19 points ago

He doesn't look too fappy.

[–]thatpaxguy 8 points9 points ago

Something is afoot.

[–]aryaf 5 points6 points ago

Is it a penis? It's a penis.

[–]lilmil 29 points30 points ago

[–]parksuck 15 points16 points ago

Then you would be gay, and incidentally never go back.

[–]beefybear 4 points5 points ago

[–]8ball96 0 points1 point ago

I love that show :D it is great

[–]Greyletter 0 points1 point ago

What show?

[–]eaglefan25 2 points3 points ago

How I met your mother

[–]broly171 5 points6 points ago

I GET IT!

[–]atom_storm 8 points9 points ago

Obligatory cumbox reminder.

[–]chingyduster 0 points1 point ago

Reddit the reminder of nightmares.

[–]youregonnaloveme 5 points6 points ago

Who would use grey?

[–]Devon302 2 points3 points ago

eh, about a foot, foot and a half.

[–]octalpus 2 points3 points ago

Anyone see "foot" in that text and completely think it wasn't a word for a moment?

[–]joshjje 1 point2 points ago

wut

[–]octalpus 0 points1 point ago

Idk something weird. I saw "foot" and thought... is that spelled wrong? I knew it was right it just felt so wrong.

[–]Nightblade 2 points3 points ago

11" is close enough.

[–]rockerode 2 points3 points ago

Anyone else notice the URL is really close to being "jizz"? I mean Jjzz is pretty close at a glance.

[–]recipefordisaster 2 points3 points ago

You people are fucking disgusting.

[–]Atario 3 points4 points ago

Ahem.

USE A FUCKING PAPER TOWEL, YOU ANIMALS

That is all.

[–]NOT_BUYIN_IT 6 points7 points ago

Wasteful

[–]Atario -3 points-2 points ago

Paper towels are fully compostable

[–]NOT_BUYIN_IT 2 points3 points ago

Although some are made from recycled materials, some are from chopped down trees, shipped in gas burning trucks, and they are pretty expensive

[–]calamormine 2 points3 points ago

Huh, now I feel like a rapist. Thanks, OP.

[–]condor216 3 points4 points ago

I leave this journal to you young one. I must tell you my story before I am gone. In fabled times, before the drumbeats of war set the dresser ablaze with aimless aggression, we socks were a peace full and nomadic people moving from laundry pile to laundry pile, just as the great god trousers intended... but then trouser receded into deep lunacy. The mad god opened his mighty maw and reached forth with the serpent tongue vandalizing and corrupting our people. I... I was not the first, many comrades have fallen into the insanity pits beyond bed, now my time on this plane is almost finished. I go ahead of you with our fallen brethren. Now you must carry my courage with you in your stitches. YOU will lead our people out of these dark times and into the wash. Loom be with you. your uncle, Crusty

[–]Dandin 1 point2 points ago

If I ever decide to fap into a sock, I will only be able to think of this wonderful tale.

[–]_winter_is_coming_ 0 points1 point ago

SOMEONE'S been reading too much Game of Thrones.

[–]condor216 0 points1 point ago

Your user name is relevant here.

[–]_winter_is_coming_ 0 points1 point ago

It is known.

[–]SgtSama 0 points1 point ago

I need to do laundry...

[–]Gnarberry 0 points1 point ago

Hah Semen! Classic!

[–]xzzz -1 points0 points ago

He didn't ask for this.

[–]ProphecyPwns 0 points1 point ago

It's a hand. I'm making a sock-puppet.... I swear!

[–]Jondayz -1 points0 points ago

Poop socking is the real use (when you play a game for so long that you shit in a sock instead of leaving your PC).

[–]PicardBaneTerriers 1 point2 points ago

"LOWER fifth? We'll be like turkeys on thanksgiving down there!"

"That's not good, that's definitely not good!"

[–]Jebus_Baconator_Man 0 points1 point ago

Wait, it isn't supposed to look like a foot?

Crap.

[–]FrankCashio 1 point2 points ago

Now that's what I call a "sticky situation". AH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA..

[–]Beanzii 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone think that the imgur link said Jizzc instead of Jjzzc?

[–]ThatGirl_Tasha 0 points1 point ago

But the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, you'll be famous

[–]reasondoubt -1 points0 points ago

is this related to cat facts? <click>. Um, nope.

[–]mitchk95 0 points1 point ago

The best part is the url of the photo: Jjzzc.jpg

[–]UniqueNameGoddamnit 0 points1 point ago

Something is afoot!

[–]IDidntChooseUsername 0 points1 point ago

The Imgur link. imgur.com/Jjzzc

[–]Grimlyn 0 points1 point ago

Upvotes for being original and not a Facebook repost.

[–]Desmerr 0 points1 point ago

I didn't get it at first... :s

[–]polopidowxus 0 points1 point ago

boys wash their own socks then?

[–]groucho_marxist 0 points1 point ago

When I was a kid and mom did all the laundry, she kept all the kids' underwear separate based on size but my older brother and I shared tube socks because there aren't that many different sizes. A lot of the socks I got back were kind of yellow and crusty and I didn't like how they felt. I asked my brother about it and he seemed a little evasive but told me he kept walking through some liquid on the floor in the locker room. So why not just stop doing that or put your socks on later? Whatever, I let it go.

Years later, courtesy of Reddit, I learned that whacking off into socks was a thing...

[–]sock_rapist 0 points1 point ago

I've got some candy in my trunk, wanna take a look ?

[–]adzug 0 points1 point ago

i wonder how long it takes women to get this?

[–]thugmonkey 0 points1 point ago

You are right but it's a good eight inches.

[–]doctorbusch 0 points1 point ago

I feel like this is something only guys understand :p hahaha

[–]Crustulum 0 points1 point ago

I find the pictures name on imgur is quite fitting.

[–]Scottybocksy -1 points0 points ago

[–]zerocaloriecola 0 points1 point ago

9/10, would bang

vid source for this pic? has this sock done any hardcore?

[–]OstensiblyEsoteric -4 points-3 points ago

HEY, I'M 14 AND DAE MASTURBATE HAHA???!!?!?!!!

[–]Fgame 0 points1 point ago

Must not be my sock, I have a foot for it.

-.^

[–]mltronic 1 point2 points ago

Wait wait there was recently post where some bloke received knitted penis warmer. So relevant.

[–]Witnessed -4 points-3 points ago

You didn't sign up to do anything, sock. You're an inanimate object.

[–]Tasgallxx -2 points-1 points ago

Has nobody heard of tissues?

[–]ZDubson_MD -2 points-1 points ago

[–]teeelo -4 points-3 points ago

Tissues/vagina/mouth > sock

TRUST ME IVE USED MOST

[–]stringdom 5 points6 points ago

So you buy lots of tissue and must be really flexible. Amazing.

[–]teeelo 0 points1 point ago

...I see what you did there...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mahaugher 4 points5 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]billebob2 1 point2 points ago

No, that other guy who used "person" instead of "one," "has never" instead of "hasn't," "masturbated" instead of "jerked off," and a question mark instead of a period hasn't, either.