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606
607

Seriously, I don't want to see your child. (imgur.com)

submitted ago by Taco_Gutierrez

top 200 commentsshow all 227
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[–]eeliahs 107 points108 points ago

I downvote all the babies I see in r/aww. There, I said it.

[–]Willyjwade 23 points24 points ago

/r/childfree Agrees with you completely.

[–]innosk8erAbu 35 points36 points ago

I support your endeavor. Know your downvotes will have backup.

[–]butterflypoon 24 points25 points ago

AND MY AXE!

er...downvotes.

[–]ZXfrigginC 9 points10 points ago

My war machine runs on the tears of children. Thank you for assisting in this year's harvest.

[–]Didi_Castle 1 point2 points ago

I seriously squealed when I read this! Lotr=my life :)

[–]baronvonpenguin 4 points5 points ago

You're a good man sir. Or a good woman madam. Or a good thing. Good anyway

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]probablynotaperv 32 points33 points ago

    Relevant.

    [–]Tkcatch 2 points3 points ago

    Damn, I was 8 minutes late... Took me about that long to find it in my history lol.

    [–]Mohdoo 29 points30 points ago

    They are extremely ugly and I don't understand how people can see them as cute. They are bald, have weird fat bodies and just..fuck. I hate babies.

    [–]Znuff 24 points25 points ago

    Here: http://unbaby.me/

    [–]ViolentViolett 7 points8 points ago

    Why isn't this higher? To the top with you!

    [–]cuppincayk 3 points4 points ago

    ಠ_ಠ why do I have to look at all of those creepy babies just to find out how to get rid of them?

    [–]Znuff 2 points3 points ago

    proof of concept, I guess? :-/

    [–]oldbrownshoe_ 0 points1 point ago

    But isn't this only for Facebook? My sister-in-law posting about her fourth baby non-stop is one of the many reasons (but definitely the last straw) why I deleted my account to begin with.

    [–]gabyfoxx 10 points11 points ago

    Every time I say that I think babies are ugly I get the worst death glares. Especially from girls I know who i didn't even know are pregnant that simply can't face the fact that the thing that shoots out of their vagina is ugly.

    [–]Taco_Gutierrez[S] 1 point2 points ago

    Truer words have been spoken, but these are still mighty fine. ;)

    [–]interflop 24 points25 points ago

    I have no desire to ever see or hold babies. I'm either afraid of dropping them or having them throw up on me.

    [–]WeLoveKanjimari 12 points13 points ago

    imagine them throwing up, as they fall to the ground

    [–]CallMeDak 2 points3 points ago

    As long as it doesn't get on my shoes..

    [–]mazesofstone 3 points4 points ago

    I'm imagining that happening in slow motion right now. I don't really want to picture it hitting the ground though.

    [–]viruskit 2 points3 points ago

    3 babies projectile vomited on me at 3 different times in my life. You want to throw them but they're babies and that'll make you look like a dick ._.

    [–]Brockbfball1563 12 points13 points ago

    Go to /r/aww. Do you see pages and pages of babies? Or do you see pictures of animals? Yeah. So no, you're not the only one around here.

    [–]fail_girl 13 points14 points ago

    I think you'd benefit from a plug to /r/childfree x)

    joinnnn usssssss

    [–]donburi_girl 10 points11 points ago

    you can sleep in late on week-ends...

    [–]butterflypoon 6 points7 points ago

    and you never have to clean up human feces...

    [–]sambeano 4 points5 points ago

    ... unless you're into that.

    [–]Princess_By_Day 6 points7 points ago

    One of us. One of us. One of us.

    [–]yeahokwhynot -4 points-3 points ago

    I don't really get /r/childfree. Is it supposed to be like /r/atheism, a circle jerk where contributors make fun of "the others"?

    [–]donburi_girl 6 points7 points ago

    Honestly, there is the rant factor. But there is also genuine inquiry into people's motives for why we want this lifestyle; individuals seeking perspective when family/doctors/friends are pressuring CFers to have children/think a different way about kids; humor about it; pertinent information/articles; and it's a safe place to laugh about our situation and celebrate it, since a lot of the world doesn't respect this choice or just "get it" period.

    :)

    [–]DesWillenMacht 2 points3 points ago

    Yes, except r/childfree keeps our hatred (for the most part) on our own subreddit, rather than picking fights everywhere on the site.

    [–]cpramos 17 points18 points ago

    This at work, all the fucking time.

    [–]EarhornJones 14 points15 points ago

    I keep a picture of my uncle Tony, an unremarkable, balding, middle-aged white man in my wallet for these occasions. After a coworker finishes gushing about their baby, and sticking pictures of the little troll in my face, I proceed to gush with equal intensity about my uncle Tony's exploits selling insurance and cutting his grass, and insist that they look at the picture and comment about how cute he is.

    He doesn't know that I do this, but I think that he would approve.

    [–]byleth 6 points7 points ago

    ...And this is me changing uncle Tony. Look at his cute little wee wee!

    [–]cpramos 2 points3 points ago

    That is genius!! I should start carrying around pictures of Jeff the Killer and just gush about how cute his smile is and how his eyes have a twinkle and then they'll see I'm psychotic and worry about their children's safety.

    [–]DSTFU 17 points18 points ago

    LOLZ LOOK AT MY LITTLE BILLY TAKE STEP NUMBER 43083453249820344309578

    [–]Ixilary 4 points5 points ago

    Seriously, I agree with you.

    [–]rachaek 12 points13 points ago

    My god yes! I know as a woman I'm supposed to be all maternal and find them adorable, but until they can talk I have no interest.

    [–]oldbrownshoe_ 0 points1 point ago

    They're only fleshy blobs to me until they start talking/have a personality.

    [–]jaimem 6 points7 points ago

    when they are fresh they make me cringe...

    [–]Taco_Gutierrez[S] 43 points44 points ago

    Also, I hate it when people say, "Aww, he/she looks just like his/her mother/father!" Sorry, I just don't see it.

    [–]Vicious_Violet 15 points16 points ago

    Me either. All I see is a screaming ham.

    [–]interflop 54 points55 points ago

    "I don't think so, it looks like all the other babies I've seen."

    [–]dietotaku 4 points5 points ago

    i think it's more apparent if you know the family well and/or have seen baby pictures of the parents. when she was just born, my daughter DID look a lot like me as a baby, and now that she's almost 8 months, the resemblance between her and her father at the same age is clear. i also see a difference between the way she looked as a newborn and the way other newborns look.

    but if some stranger in a walmart says something like that, i just assume they're being polite and saying what parents like to hear.

    [–]JoshAndArielle 2 points3 points ago

    Yes! I can confirm this.

    [–]Furthea 2 points3 points ago

    I've had coworkers say that kind of stuff about other coworkers (children/nieces/nephews/etc). Personally babies are kind of cute and all but they all look alike (respective to race.) Every time someone would bring a baby in and everyone would go coo over it, i'd just roll my eyes and keep on with my work, especially when they start exclaiming about 'it looks like'.

    Now bring a puppy (or full grown dog) in....XD

    [–]iLLiMiTaBLe -2 points-1 points ago

    To a degree, I agree with you. I wasn't sure there was any resemblance between my son and me/wife when he was born. Most other people said the same. People started to talk about resemblance about 1-2 months after he was born. But to say that children don't look like their parents ever is, honestly, stupid, and if you think this, you're just blind.

    Edit: Plus, my son IS adorable ;-)

    [–]CallMeDak -1 points0 points ago

    Well gee it's a good thing nobody said that then isn't it?

    [–]Lamp21291 1 point2 points ago

    Relevant-ish

    [–]brosenfeld 0 points1 point ago

    I sent you an email many an hour ago. Go to the link I have sent you. It is a better place.

    [–]Daroo425 1 point2 points ago

    People say that my baby had my nose. He has the same nose every fucking baby has. I really don't see how he looks anything like me so early on

    [–]Taco_Gutierrez[S] 0 points1 point ago

    Right?!

    [–]EpsilonSigma 3 points4 points ago

    too right, bro.

    [–]Bell_Biv_WillemDafoe -4 points-3 points ago

    "It's pure narcissism."

    [–]clearsimpleplain 0 points1 point ago

    You dont seem very sorry.

    [–]suddenlybadger 4 points5 points ago

    I feel like babies in the animal kingdom are much better than the babies we have to take care of as humans. They're cuter, they're more capable, they can walk faster and fend for themselves earlier.

    All a human baby knows is how to lay on its back and piss and shit all over itself for a year.

    They suck so bad. I don't know how we ever kept them alive pre-civilization.

    [–]clearsimpleplain 1 point2 points ago

    Apparently the longer period of helplessness allowed for better brain growth, and as a result, human intelligence.

    [–]TastyHemlockBev 8 points9 points ago

    Parents are programmed to see their child as the epitome of adorableness. And when they say there is no stronger love between a parent and child, they're not kidding.

    Other kids disgust me and because I can't personally discipline them, I don't like to be around them... but I could stare at my sons face all day and be satisfied. Same goes for everyone else I think.

    So I take photos but don't post the pictures on Facebook. For everyone else's sake.

    [–]butterflypoon 6 points7 points ago

    We need more parents like you.

    [–]nahumgald 2 points3 points ago

    this! had my first baby a week ago today and it boggles me that i find myself staring at pictures of him on my work breaks rather than browsing reddit.

    but I agree, I´ve only uploaded 2 to facebook for those wanting to know what he looked like...

    [–]TastyHemlockBev 1 point2 points ago

    Congrats on your child! Please don't mind me asking, but you're already at work a week postpartum? How are you feeling?

    Edit- That is assuming you are a woman like me! My apologies for any incorrect assumptions and congrats again!

    [–]nahumgald 1 point2 points ago

    thank you! and I'm the father, but my wife has a year leave (canada)..i feel rested just watching her sleep, poor thing

    [–]Longhorn_Lapis 9 points10 points ago

    Oh how cute she puked all over herself and smells like poop..

    [–]4LostSoulsinaBowl 33 points34 points ago

    Don't worry, none of you will ever have a chance to make babies anyways.

    [–]butterflypoon 18 points19 points ago

    Once I get my tubes tied you'll be 100% correct and not just 99% correct.

    [–]luigisfuckingpeach 30 points31 points ago

    Thank god!

    [–]DuckReconMajor 15 points16 points ago

    Can only hope this is true.

    [–]donburi_girl 8 points9 points ago

    Was this...trying to be an insult...? I can't even tell.

    Either way, doesn't apply to me! I took care of that function; never have to worry about that dreaded possibility again! Aww yeah.

    [–]butterflypoon 2 points3 points ago

    Luckyyyyy

    [–]yunlien 0 points1 point ago

    too late for me, I already have 2 '_____'

    [–]The_Fat_Man_In_Red 6 points7 points ago

    As a student nurse who just finished his maternity rotation I could not agree more.

    [–]baronvonpenguin 3 points4 points ago

    Babies are fucking idiots. Seriously, If you made an adult clone of yourself and it took a year to teach it to walk or talk you'd just cave its head in with a cricket bat and call it a bad idea. Fuck babies. Fuck them right in the ear. Little dribbly cunts

    [–]MicCheck123 1 point2 points ago

    Look at other species...baby giraffes can walk after a few minutes...why do humans take 19 months?

    [–]Daroo425 2 points3 points ago

    just to piss you off

    [–]annie8979 1 point2 points ago

    Because crawling on the floor teaches them more than just instinct unlike Giraffes who know almost noting about the ground far beneath their necks.

    [–]MindlessGenyes 8 points9 points ago

    I think babies and kids in general are ugly creatures. They don't look like people until their teenage years. Up until then they're like the movie Mimic... From far away they kind of look like people... but the closer you get the easier it is to see what kind of fucked up abomination they really are.

    [–]donburi_girl 4 points5 points ago

    The giant heads of babies frighten me, or more specifically at the point when they are in that pre-toddler phase and their big wobbly heads just seem freakin' HUGE, and the goggly eyeballs just kind of pudge out of it.

    And yes, I know they are supposed to be that way blah blah anatomy blah nature blah blah beautiful mother earth's creatures, so nobody lecture me. But they are fucking scary. The end.

    load more comments (3 replies)

      [–]mathgod 13 points14 points ago

      Nope, not just you.

      [–]themightymagikarp 18 points19 points ago

      When my mom was born, my grandma asked the doctor, "Isn't she the prettiest baby you've seen?"

      He flat out told her, "No."

      [–]EminGH 11 points12 points ago

      Signing up for med school now and becoming a doctor just so I can say this.

      [–]DSTFU 6 points7 points ago

      Asian dad can finally motivate his children.

      [–]frenchsheppard 2 points3 points ago

      My name is michel j. caboose,and i hate babies!

      [–]underthepeartree 2 points3 points ago

      I just don't see the cuteness about a smaller, developing human being. I'm especially annoyed by constant uploads on facebook of baby pictures. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BABY

      [–]butterflypoon 1 point2 points ago

      Get Unbaby. It's been linked here a few times.

      [–]Shniggles 2 points3 points ago

      I only like baby reptiles...

      [–]Weynard_Muldrake 2 points3 points ago

      They are like dry squids.

      [–]Brynecologist 2 points3 points ago

      I often get grief from people when I tell them I think puppies are way cuter than babies.

      [–]taylingling 2 points3 points ago

      I heard there's something you can download on your Facebook that changes all the baby pictures to pictures of kitten and puppies.

      [–]GentlemenQuinn 2 points3 points ago

      It depends on the individual baby for me. Some babies are cute other aren't. Most babies I see, especially boys, aren't especially cute. I hate to say it, because it makes me sound/feel like an asshole, but that's my honest opinion.

      [–]ouchmyback 2 points3 points ago

      Bald babies creep me out. Babies with hair tend to be cuter.

      [–]short-arm-of-the-law 2 points3 points ago

      Unbaby me

      I think it's only for Facebook but it's a start.

      [–]MisterxRager 2 points3 points ago

      newborn babies look awful i'm sorry

      [–]Petninja 2 points3 points ago

      They all look like Phil Collins.

      [–]syntaxeater 6 points7 points ago

      There's an extension for that. Unbaby Me

      [–]momwithlupus 1 point2 points ago

      Posted before I read comments. Noice.

      [–]flooded 2 points3 points ago

      Thank you...thank you so much.

      [–]ApseyCakes 1 point2 points ago

      Damn. Got to it before I did.

      [–]hal0n 3 points4 points ago

      My brother just had a baby and insists on showing me pictures all the time. I'm just like, dude, I can just look at the baby... its right there.

      [–]Mehow88 5 points6 points ago

      To me babies look like aliens.

      [–]formerlylurkinlurker 8 points9 points ago

      I know the feeling. That being said, babies are precious in the parents eyes, because its theirs and they love them. They just want to share them with everyone else. If you haven't had kids yet, you'll understand the baby deal when you do. Then youll be shoving pics of it down our throats.

      [–]diaperboy19 27 points28 points ago

      If you haven't had kids yet, you'll understand the baby deal IF you do.

      FTFY. Not all of us intend to have children.

      [–]bubblerapper 9 points10 points ago

      They're precious in a lot of people's eyes. I think they're cute straight out of the vagina!

      It's fine with me if others don't like babies, just remember that people post their baby pics to Facebook because others do care, not just because they want to show off. That's why Facebook gives you control of which "friends" you subscribe to.

      [–]E11i0t 0 points1 point ago

      This. Don't bitch and moan about people putting up baby pictures, just unsubscribe. I hate when people do that.

      [–]Madlydecent 4 points5 points ago

      No, I do too.

      [–]dargay0764 2 points3 points ago

      thank you! i hate when people are like "omg he/she's soo cuuuuteee! :D" no...its still fucking purple, and weird looking...you can't even tell if it's gonna be a cute kid yet...geeees.

      [–]PeacefulCamisado 6 points7 points ago

      New born babies (and the weeks that follow) are always ugly. No exceptions.

      Around the one year mark, though, plenty of babies are pretty cute, though it depends on the baby. Some just stay ugly forever. Some start to get cute after a few months. Some are just, y'know, babies. They're there.

      [–]TastyHemlockBev 2 points3 points ago

      Maybe not exceptions, but there is a scale of how creepy they come out. Cesarean babies don't have that cone shape to their heads and don't come out so... squished.

      [–]zuizide 3 points4 points ago

      They all look like aliens to me (even my own).

      [–]HybridEmblem 5 points6 points ago

      where you think ugly adults come from?

      [–]riffmaster50 4 points5 points ago

      I've said this and have been brutally ostracized for it.

      [–]bacon_please 2 points3 points ago

      Thank you so much! I've always said that human babies are thee ugliest of all babies. I have yet to find a baby animal uglier than a human baby.

      [–]mcwillit6 0 points1 point ago

      Panda. Like, just born, 5 minutes old. I love panda's so much, but come on. these things haunt my nightmares

      [–]bacon_please 1 point2 points ago

      hmmm idk i still think they're cuter than human babies

      [–]mcwillit6 0 points1 point ago

      I don't o.o

      [–]bacon_please 0 points1 point ago

      haha well that's all right

      [–]classicjuice 6 points7 points ago

      Not alone bro.

      [–]KincSoup 3 points4 points ago

      Hideous creatures.

      [–]Riederbirk 3 points4 points ago

      So true. I don't care about your baby, and I definitely do not want to hold it or talk to it in a imaginative fucking stupid language.

      [–]Taco_Gutierrez[S] -1 points0 points ago

      Haha, you hit the nail right on the head with that one!

      [–]mathSciNERD 3 points4 points ago

      They look like aliens to me.

      [–]Stephen_foster 3 points4 points ago

      nope, they all look like weird old men

      [–]ObeyTheCreed1331 2 points3 points ago

      My dad always says babies look like Yoda.

      [–]DSTFU 3 points4 points ago

      But live 900 years, they will not.

      [–]DuckReconMajor 2 points3 points ago

      Yoda should Force choke his ass for that one.

      [–]Blancer 1 point2 points ago

      no. no you are not

      [–]beanso 0 points1 point ago

      You're never the only one.

      [–]momwithlupus 1 point2 points ago

      There is an extension you can download called unbaby me... turns children pictures into pictures of bacon and hotrods and such... you know. The important stuff.

      [–]Whats_It_To_Ya 0 points1 point ago

      Babies are gross, but toddlers are fucking adorable. They wear little shoes and walk like penguins!

      [–]sonQUAALUDE 0 points1 point ago

      ugly-ass man grubs. reddit is swarming with them recently.

      [–]_Baboo 2 points3 points ago

      Not sure if insulting babies or insulting baby haters.

      [–]D4rkH4wk 1 point2 points ago

      Note to self: Hating babies is cool on Reddit.

      [–]ToMakeYouMad 2 points3 points ago

      Using John Goodman who looks like a fat baby with facial hair is probably not the best way to convey your idea.

      [–]MoogyOne 3 points4 points ago

      I once made a guilde break up after saying the guild leaders baby wasn't that cute, so I kinda get your point.

      [–]oshitsuperciberg 3 points4 points ago

      Wat

      [–][deleted] ago

      [deleted]

      [–]MoogyOne 0 points1 point ago

      Nope, Rappelz

      [–]LandSharkLandShark 0 points1 point ago

      Nope. Babies are gross looking. They're fat and wrinkly. But, they're precious in the eyes of their parents, so, who are we to judge?

      [–]Billy_Bob_BoJangles 4 points5 points ago

      They look like gaint pink boogers.

      [–]Octopusbread 1 point2 points ago

      I don't care if your kid is ugly or not, i really just don't give a fuck about them either way

      [–]Wathen1990 2 points3 points ago

      I don't think they're cute until they're like 2

      [–]butterflypoon 3 points4 points ago

      Even then it depends...

      [–]asshatnowhere 1 point2 points ago

      i think newborns are hideous but once they become toddlers and they bobble about saying gibberish.... i turn into a gay man.

      [–]ZXfrigginC 1 point2 points ago

      When baby's start crying, they become a dissenting voice, and mommy told me that dissenting voices are merely hindrances that I need patience T4 to deal with.

      [–]anxious_angler12 1 point2 points ago

      The Guards view on babies

      [–]airvvic 1 point2 points ago

      It gets harder as more of your friends have babies.

      [–]butterflypoon 3 points4 points ago

      That's usually when they stop being my friends because they're boring as shit then.

      [–]archaeas -2 points-1 points ago

      In most cases, I agree with you. However, there is one exception. White babies? Ugly. Latin babies? Ugly. Asian babies? Meh. Black babies? Well, I'll just leave this here.

      [–]CauseItsTrue 6 points7 points ago

      can't tell if archaeas thinks black babies are cute or ugly

      [–]archaeas 0 points1 point ago

      D: cute!

      [–]butterflypoon 1 point2 points ago

      They are just as ugly as all the rest.

      [–]ElizaIsEpic 3 points4 points ago

      That kid. That face. I laughed.

      He'ssocute!

      [–]Dr-Assplay 1 point2 points ago

      This is what I use

      It's quite nice.

      EDIT: syntaxeater had this up before I did. I should have searched.

      [–]reddeath27 -1 points0 points ago

      Yes.

      [–]EightBitTrip -1 points0 points ago

      Damn straight!

      [–]elligre -2 points-1 points ago

      Didn't know there were so many baby haters. I'm a dude and I can't wait to have kids. I like them and they like me for some reason.

      [–]Wolligepoes -5 points-4 points ago

      Succes kid is the only cute infant I can think of.

      [–]DSTFU 4 points5 points ago

      He's like 3. Not really really a baby

      [–]Slamboni12 -4 points-3 points ago

      People put pictures of their baby on fb for their families. Grandparents call and text and freak out If you don't post pics every day. Having children teaches you it's not all about you, so it's easier not to personalize everything. Like people putting baby pics on fb. This has nothing to do with you. Don't hurt your hand scrolling down. No one cares if you saw the baby pics or not.

      [–]stumbles27 -3 points-2 points ago

      Like what most people say " you won't understand until you have kids"

      [–]butterflypoon 2 points3 points ago

      Not everyone wants to have them.

      [–]_Baboo -2 points-1 points ago

      wut fuk

      [–]drewdie1st 0 points1 point ago

      yes.

      [–]Probatus -4 points-3 points ago

      So I should reply to this thread with baby pics? Or as r/parenting to PM you baby pics.

      [–]clearsimpleplain -3 points-2 points ago

      Things are different when you care about them. There was a time when all hip hop sounded the same to me, and I didnt like any of it. But the problem wasn't hip hop, the problem was me.

      load more comments (15 replies)

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