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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 464 points465 points ago

My username comes from Vice Admiral W.H.R. Blandy, Commander of the Bikini Test.

"The bomb will not start a chain-reaction in the water converting it all to gas and letting all the ships on all the oceans drop down to the bottom. It will not blow out the bottom of the sea and let all the water run down the hole. It will not destroy gravity. I am not an atomic playboy, as one of my critics labeled me, exploding these bombs to satisfy my personal whim."

[–]Nefarious_Lobster 191 points192 points ago

This is a pretty freaking cool backstory to your username. Mine? I picked a random adjective and stuck it with a random animal. And I don't even like seafood...

[–]Skylarity 130 points131 points ago

Correct Horse Battery Staple

[–]littlelimesauce 51 points52 points ago

Despite being touted as a secure password, I'm willing to bet enough XKCD readers use this to invalidate any security benefits it may have had.

[–]MyPasswordIs_Taco 62 points63 points ago

Yup, I'm all about security, and would never use a publicly displayed password!

[–]Skylarity 40 points41 points ago

"My password is 1... 2... 3... 4... 5."

[–]RoyallyTenenbaumed 58 points59 points ago

hey! That's my luggage combination!

[–]F-Stop 31 points32 points ago

Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so huge?

[–]RoyallyTenenbaumed 11 points12 points ago

They've gone...plaid!

[–]tophergz 7 points8 points ago

LUDICROUS SPEED!

[–]Scarletfapper 2 points3 points ago

Someone change the combination on my luggage!

[–]lovesdogz 17 points18 points ago

[–]silentkill144 3 points4 points ago

hunter2

[–]deftlydexterous 2 points3 points ago

I wonder how popular OneTwo3FourFive is?

[–]CodyCarlile 4 points5 points ago

Hmmm a part of me thinks its a trap and another just has to find out...

[–]BlazeOrangeDeer 10 points11 points ago

hunter2

[–]raptor1677 1 point2 points ago

i don't understand why does it show up like that? Can you read it?

[–]Talran 5 points6 points ago

Other words are secure though, just don't use the example, same reason you don't have a password of 1111 or 1234 on your luggage xD

[–]crispylego 1 point2 points ago

shit

[–]TwoDickSteve 19 points20 points ago

I based mine off my rare condition.

[–]bamfie 12 points13 points ago

Hemorrhoids?

[–]cuntarsetits 2 points3 points ago

Promiscuous homosexuality isn't really that rare.

[–]shlomo_baggins 18 points19 points ago

I'm a Jewish hobbit.

[–]Zen1 6 points7 points ago

My parents were going to name me Zen'ichi after my great-grandfather, the first of my mom's ancestors to emigrate to the USA, 善一 and ichi/一 means "one" so I fashioned it after KRS-1

[–]romneyeatsspinach 4 points5 points ago

Won't someone eat him before he does something nefarious?!!!

[–]TITTIES_AND_ASS 5 points6 points ago

Better than the story behind mine.. I was just horny.

[–]Darth_Hobbes 7 points8 points ago

Hobbes was taken, and I enjoy the mental picture of him having a saber duel with Calvin.

[–]VoraciousTofu 13 points14 points ago

What kind of idiot would use a system like that to pick their name?

[–]FuriousBanana 2 points3 points ago

No idea.

[–]n1c0_ds 1 point2 points ago

Ny name is Nicolas, and a few years ago, I really wanted a Nintendo DS

[–]Buhandi 0 points1 point ago

So you people do exist...

[–]patefacio 2 points3 points ago

Patefacio means "open" in Latin, and that was my password I used to grant access to my laptop. It became an online name after that.

[–]fancypenguin 2 points3 points ago

You indirectly rang?

[–]scared2mosh 2 points3 points ago

I just used to be fucking terrified of mosh pits.

[–]sourlemur 1 point2 points ago

I did the same

[–]ShrimpGangster 2 points3 points ago

Same

[–]insanelyloudclapper 3 points4 points ago

I just clap loudly.

[–]SupermanV2 72 points73 points ago

I just like Superman.

[–]TastyMidgetElbowSex 57 points58 points ago

I just like

[–]the_red_phone 17 points18 points ago

personally, i think the first version is better.

[–]SupermanV2 34 points35 points ago

[–]the_red_phone 13 points14 points ago

[–]Fencehater 13 points14 points ago

Fuck fences.

[–]Thirdyearfreshmen 13 points14 points ago

I'm just terrible at math.

[–]Kubaker1 7 points8 points ago

Wow, that's a great name now that I see it like that. I thought it was just a name.

[–]soultronix 255 points256 points ago

In 1987, Bikini Atoll made their official flag a giant middle finger to the United States for displacing their people and/or poisoning their land.

The flag of Bikini Atoll

[–][deleted] 164 points165 points ago

Man, I was expecting a flag with this on it.

[–]usernameyunofunny 137 points138 points ago

I stared at the flag for like 10 minutes, asking myself, "Where the fuck is the middle finger?"

[–]grandpasjazztobacco 8 points9 points ago

Dude, it's basically a parody flag. Think about what a "flag" means and why we even value it. Now imagine a group of people saying "fuck you dude, we're taking your flag and staining it with what we think of you." It makes a joke of America's flag, a flag which most Americans would die for. It's a big challenge in that sense.

Hell, we shouldnt've detonated a nuclear device for fun., not around people, not without planning for those people. I'm with the Bikinians on this one.

[–]hechomierda 0 points1 point ago

Sad thing is, America managed to come up with an even greater FU by completely displacing their lands name with "boobs" in everyones head.

[–]rottbucket 22 points23 points ago

"...to ask the islanders to give up their islands for the 'good of all mankind' for nuclear weapons testing."

it's a good thing, we promise.

[–]dirice87 32 points33 points ago

wow, i didn't realize the atoll was inhabited. We fucked them over pretty bad, money does not replace a heritage...

[–]imakitty 50 points51 points ago

Wouldn't be the first time the United States has taken someone else's land and chased the original owner off. In fact, one might say that they've made quite the history of it.

Edit: There is a lot of upset people of over what was initally just a way for me to make a joke about "Making a history of it".

[–]edsq 45 points46 points ago

I agree with you, but nobody gets to play perfect here.

I'm talking to you, every single major power in existence ever.

[–]Hack0201 30 points31 points ago

and they would be the first nation to ever do that...

[–]deathbytray 4 points5 points ago

But it is the first time we forcibly displaced the indigenous population and set off a hydrogen bomb in their homeland so that they can never go back there.

[–]Vranak 7 points8 points ago

Practically all of human history is a case of one tribe, empire, or nation conquering, butchering, or enslaving another. It's been pretty grim stuff as a general thing until quite recently.

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." -- James Joyce, 1922, Ulysses

[–]Lorem_Ipsum 4 points5 points ago

Slightly less standard to then drop an H-bomb on it.

[–]Zaeyde 38 points39 points ago

Hey! I speak this language! The flag says "Every thing is in the hand of God" ..land there it is translated. Man, I speak a language I'll never use again!

[–]dan2737 71 points72 points ago

Or you just read the wikipedia article...

/r/karmaconspiracy

[–]Account_Eliminator 7 points8 points ago

No he clearly speaks Marshallese, and in no way a lonely teengage amateur troll.

[–]DiggletDig 12 points13 points ago

Regardless, I am impressed. Well done.

[–]likatu_ripalle 13 points14 points ago

Iakwe iakwe, kwaar ta ilo majol?

[–]eroq 12 points13 points ago

Why won't you use it again?

[–]maselsy 90 points91 points ago

[–]OriginalityIsDead 15 points16 points ago

Fair enough.

[–]deathbytray 9 points10 points ago

One of the side-effects of radiation poisoning is loss of language skills.

Source: I like to make up random facts.

[–]eroq 5 points6 points ago

Oh, that's right.

[–]what_mustache 2 points3 points ago

I cant get past your odd use of and/or. I'm pretty sure it's an and.

[–]Zaeyde 21 points22 points ago

I just spent a year in the Marshall Islands, which is what Bikini Atoll is part of. Man, we screwed that country so many ways it isn't funny. In about 15 years it'll be a devastated mess (again).

[–]walgman 3 points4 points ago

Pray tell.

[–]contrary_stereo 14 points15 points ago

Teh sea levels.

[–]zoidberg82 38 points39 points ago

Fun fact: the bikini swimsuits got their name from the Bikini Atoll. During that time period bathing suits were getiting smaller and smaller until the Atom swimsuit came out. Which at the time was the most revealing one piece swimsuit.

Shortly after, a design for a new two piece swimsuit was in the works but it needed a name. The atomic test at Bikini Atoll just happened so someone got the idea to call the two piece suit a bikini because the bikini split the atom. :-)

[–]myfapaccount_istaken 11 points12 points ago

It's hard to take a comment by Zoidberg as fact

Edit: '

[–]jf2 91 points92 points ago

Looks like I have a new background

[–]frprtz 26 points27 points ago

Also works well as a Facebook timeline photo.

[–]pedro_hustle 9 points10 points ago

just did that

[–]asharp45 11 points12 points ago

Watch a documentary called "Radio Bikini". It shows how all the native islanders were kicked off their land, their ancestral homes destroyed, in order to prepare for the big boom. It's on Netflix streaming last I checked.

[–]SharkBay 21 points22 points ago

All for the sake of a new background.

[–]Vranak 2 points3 points ago

I guess it's not the worst thing the US could have done -- they could just left them there to die in the blast, although having that on your conscience might be a little much for even the most hardened general.

[–]LeInterwebsFTW 4 points5 points ago

Adding it to the pile.

[–]pewing33 134 points135 points ago

Whats at the bottom of Bikini Atoll? Bikini Bottom. Spongebob Sqaurepants is actually a political commentary as to the effect of radiation on under water sea creatures.

[–]Jlillengreen 38 points39 points ago

You're right, because when it shows explosions from space on spongebob it's an atomic bomb that was tested at bikini atoll.

[–]Gen_McMuster 19 points20 points ago

Woah

[–]cyclura 7 points8 points ago

Not to be confused with No Bikini Atoll

[–]blackedout 13 points14 points ago

I can't believe I missed this, but my grandfather was there. He was witness to the test, and the United States Military used him as a test subject. His outfit was not only just outside the irradiated zone, but they were sent BACK IN to their ship to retrieve goods after the test. He said that one of the men in his unit picked up some rocks blown onto the ship's deck and put them in his pocket, eventually leading to his death some years later of cancer. My grandfather developed a mild form of lymphoma that the Navy was very interested in for several decades, offering him immediate care in his later years... He always talked of this test, and of how the Prinz Eugin destroyer was the ship lifted and vaporized. I know the official account stated otherwise, but he spoke so vividly about his commanding officers pointing out the German ship of that size, and being accustomed to US ships, he wasn't a stranger to identifying them. Regardless, his uniform has special pins on it signifying this test, as well as documentation.... He said that as long as he lived, he would see this image. He was fascinated by the original of this photo. At least he lived long enough for me to show it to him. He just stared, nodded, and said "Crossroads. That's crossroads."

[–]Crocain 37 points38 points ago

Is that a fakking BATTLESHIP being thrown up in the air??!

[–]notcaffeinefree 2 points3 points ago

This doesn't really answer the question. It even says in that cite not that confirmation must wait until analysis of the high speed images.

[–]yousedditreddit 20 points21 points ago

this is the internet, you're allowed to curse

[–]followsATFPIMA 16 points17 points ago

OMGosh i'll say whatever I darn please.

[–]Eraser1024 4 points5 points ago

jeez guys!

[–]SlugsOnToast 20 points21 points ago

EVERYBODY CALM THE FUCK DOWN

[–]blackedout 1 point2 points ago

My grandfather was there. Unfortunately, his Army uniform and confirmation are a few thousand miles away for proof. He went to his grave telling me tales of this test, and as he says it, that was the Prinz Eugen. He remembered the name of the ship, the sheer size of it, and the commanding officers pointing it out. I have no clue as to why the Navy would claim that it was the Arkansas, but notice in the wiki article, the Navy denied salvage rights, and claimed that it was irradiated... More possibly, at least according to my grandfather, it was virtually vaporized. "It lifted up, and then it was just gone" as he would relate flatly.

[–]brendanmint 4 points5 points ago

I think they used decommissioned US ships and captured Japanese ships from WWII in testing.

[–]zzorga 3 points4 points ago

Yes, it's this) ship getting flipped by the blast.

[–]imakitty 5 points6 points ago

[–]dleidig 0 points1 point ago

The Wilson cloud lifts, revealing a vertical black object, larger than ships in the foreground, which most observers believed was the upended battleship Arkansas. Admiral Blandy said it was smoke

[–]RegnaroL 8 points9 points ago

[–]Hayes92 45 points46 points ago

Hasn't this picture been posted like 50 times usually under "Famous black and white pictures with color" wasn't there a post like a few hours ago with exactly this photo?

[–]fojji 5 points6 points ago

This is the original resolution, that's the point of this post. The OP is the author of the colorized version.

[–]BagOnuts 8 points9 points ago

Yeah, I remember seeing this pic months ago.

[–]justsomenut 5 points6 points ago

...I love it. It's like, vacation meets apocalypse.

[–]rfranke727 7 points8 points ago

those ships are awful close..

[–]psychoticdream 4 points5 points ago

Dummy ships

[–]buzzkill_aldrin 17 points18 points ago

Real ships, decommissioned.

[–]crusher958427 30 points31 points ago

Who asked?

[–]23fuck 22 points23 points ago

I did

[–]ENTertain_Me 21 points22 points ago

Well cut it out.

[–]blowfisch 2 points3 points ago

[–]chiburaska 5 points6 points ago

who took this photo and are they alive, how far away from the blast was the person?

[–]Canadave 18 points19 points ago

Congratulations, you just sent me on an hour-long Wikipedia journey, which began with nuclear testing, moved on to atolls, and ended with The Bahamas.

[–]bruthaman 3 points4 points ago

One study showed that the life expectancy of participants was reduced by an average of three months

3 months?? how the hell do you suppose they figured that one out.

[–]Mako18 8 points9 points ago

OP, would you explain how the colorizing process works, please?

[–]adamraco 6 points7 points ago

In Photoshop, you add layers of different colours. You then make this layer have a "Colour" blending mode. It kind of multiply's the colours into the black and white image, but keeping the original images tones.

Its a very simple process, especially if you have a graphics tablet.

[–]ForgottenPhoenix 13 points14 points ago

We muggles won't understand.

[–]ganonthesage 3 points4 points ago

OP is a Time Lord. Do not ask him questions.

[–]FSMCA 4 points5 points ago

Water paint on a black and white photo, if you are not sure what color something was, make it up.

[–]keystothemoon 3 points4 points ago

That is astonishingly beautiful, horrifyingly abominable, and my new facebook banner

[–]Zilker23 6 points7 points ago

Here it is in black and white.

[–]bluntmasterflash 1 point2 points ago

This shall be my new desktop background forever more.

[–]Carhugger 2 points3 points ago

it is like "Oh Sorry I didn't knew my old large nanny jumped off the high dive."

[–]Jean_Paul_Shartre 2 points3 points ago

something's off about the juxtaposition of this picture and "Enjoy! :)"

[–]Foxtrot56 1 point2 points ago

My Grandpa witnessed that from an aircraft. They had aircraft at difference distances and elevations to observe the effects of the atom bomb.

[–]_TheDrizzle 1 point2 points ago

This is amazing. This is going to be my cover page in my timeline in facebook. Thanks mygrapefruit!

[–]Ethosia 1 point2 points ago

"Akiko Takakura survived the effects of a 16 kt atomic bomb at a distance of just 300 meters from the hypocenter, with only minor injuries, due in most part to her position of residing in the lobby of the bank of Japan, a reinforced concrete building, at the time of the Nuclear explosion. In contrast, the unknown person sitting outside, fully exposed, on the steps of the Sumitomo bank, next door to the bank of Japan, received lethal third degree burns and was then likely killed by the blast, in that order, within 2 seconds."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_nuclear_explosions

[–]TheEmbernova 0 points1 point ago

Fuck humanity, man.

Just... Fuck.

[–]lowercasejames 2 points3 points ago

Yea. Fuck humanity. Stupid humans... Because science is stupid. You realize that this explosion was a test, and the resulting radiation and general fucked uppedness of the atoll was a mistake right? Tests can be performed in a controlled environment and sometimes people - HUMANITY - errs. Fuck humanity, who, since realizing the destructive nature of the bomb, has worked to stop governments from using it, humanity who protests its very existence.... humanity, who gets on the Internet with hands shaking from guilt, upon seeing the photo of Bikini Atoll's destruction types: Fuck humanity. Just... Fuck.

[–]teslas_notepad 1 point2 points ago

If anyone is interested in this topic and wants to see how these bombs were viewed in their time, watch the documentary The Atomic Cafe. It doesn't contain expert interviews and whatnot, just a bunch of military, news, and civilian footage from the time. This includes a large section on this test at Bikini with video of the explosion.

It's up on Netflix Instant.

[–]Draconic 2 points3 points ago

thanks for the new desktop background :)

[–]olblueeyes937 3 points4 points ago

My best friends Dad was there and watched live

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]perverse_imp 74 points75 points ago

Yeah, I saw that copypasta too.

[–]om_nom_nom 4 points5 points ago

Actually it's real. Wiki.

[–]f141998 4 points5 points ago

You know this is the area above bikini bottom right?

[–]latticusnon 5 points6 points ago

I was confused by the other two posters who posted exactly that, but now I do, thanks to you.

[–]Ethosia 1 point2 points ago

That explains all the mutated marine life.

[–]GeneralBS 1 point2 points ago

new desktop wallpaper!

[–]KosherNazi 2 points3 points ago

And without a watermark! Thanks, Grapefruit!

[–]Krohnos 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit

[–]FalconOne 0 points1 point ago

I bet that guy walking on the beach had a bad day...

[–]DRTsorak 0 points1 point ago

Desktop background cheers

[–]Stuarrt 0 points1 point ago

thank you so much!

[–]BeardedSinceBirth 0 points1 point ago

Hello new desktop background.

[–]spartan4333 0 points1 point ago

New desktop wallpaper

[–]ketc89 1 point2 points ago

That really fucked up some fish's day I bet.

[–]omegaaf 1 point2 points ago

If I am not mistaken, this is the Baker shot, right?

[–]enthos 0 points1 point ago

I wonder how loud that was.

[–]thetealchic 0 points1 point ago

Only word to explain it from me is wow

[–]EOTWAWKI 1 point2 points ago

I've seen this picture and video many times over many decades but never noticed the landing craft in the foreground. I wonder if they were leftover from the invasion in WW2 just a few years before?

Great picture then, great interpretation of it now.

[–]meursalt95 0 points1 point ago

How the fuck did you do it! Great job the way

[–]PleaseEnd 0 points1 point ago

HOW?

[–]oceantone 0 points1 point ago

This is going as my Desktop Background

[–]what_mustache 1 point2 points ago

Bikini Atoll...What a lovely sounding place. A shame we had to to nuke it.

[–]NapolianDino 0 points1 point ago

something about the smiley face and Atom bomb in the title just seem to throw me off haha

[–]DJ_GiantMidget 0 points1 point ago

wh-why... why would people ask you for this? i don't understand

[–]CuteBabyBowser 0 points1 point ago

I thought I was the only one who chose that picture in particular out of all the other ones.

[–]aqkp 0 points1 point ago

my new wallpaper :)

[–]Ken123103 0 points1 point ago

Is it me or does it look like the giant tree in the lost woods from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time?

[–]Porkenstein 0 points1 point ago

o_o

[–]DJ-Mikaze 0 points1 point ago

I have the black and white version of this hanging above my monitor. Tis glorious.

[–]docdig12 0 points1 point ago

Am I a bad person if I make this my background?

[–]Tonytarium 0 points1 point ago

There is a theory that Spongebob and friends can talk because of nuclear radiation from the bombings at Bikini Atoll, make sense but never confirmed

[–]ull90 0 points1 point ago

You can see the ships being obliterated by the blast. Very cool.

[–]JMile69 0 points1 point ago

Note the upended ship on the right hand side of the water column.

[–]SteveTheDude 0 points1 point ago

That's closer than I would ever want to be to an atomic bomb

[–]redbuurd 1 point2 points ago

right click > set desktop picture

[–]wetkarl 1 point2 points ago

E7... You sunk my fleet of battleships

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

My grandpa was in the navy in the Bikini Atoll during the testing. In a National Geographic article for June of '92, there is supposedly a picture of him on deck with his shipmates. He died a few years ago (edit: now that I think of it, actually its been almost 10 years) of cancer. Not sure if it could be related.

[–]blackedout 1 point2 points ago

My grandpa was there too! He had lymphoma. Did your's talk about getting sent back onto the ships to retrieve gear? They were given 5 minutes or something, told to grab whatever they could.

My grandpa told me a few times of the men that picked up rocks and perished because of the radiation/cancer.

Small world.

[–]CosbyComet 0 points1 point ago

who lived in a pineapple under the sea....

[–]DesiccatedDogDicks 0 points1 point ago

Are there any pics of the resulting waves on the shore? That would be interesting.

[–]Nilla_Wafers 0 points1 point ago

Who else has read The Bomb by Theodore Taylor?

[–]ElephantRefrigerator 0 points1 point ago

That's an over saturated picture you have there. Actually, that could be how everyone else sees the world except for me because my eyes are weird or something. I dunno man, I dunno.

[–]GreenMonsterMSU 0 points1 point ago

Coming back to this

[–]CoyoteStark 0 points1 point ago

Was the force of the blast weakened at all by the water?

[–]Shippoyasha 0 points1 point ago

It's almost comical knowing how those bombs were considered low in payload compared to modern day bombs. I can't even fathom what modern bombs would be able to do.

[–]2Mobile 1 point2 points ago

I've always wondered: That dark spot on the right side of the bottom of the mushroom cloud- is that a ship being launched skyward?

[–]bluerain159 0 points1 point ago

Very Cool!

[–]Kenster180 1 point2 points ago

My dad was in the Marshall islands cleaning up after the testing. Many people died of radiation exposure and my dad was even exposed to massive amounts of radiation. There are birth defects to this day in the Marshall islands, and I'm sure many other Micronesian nations.

Another fun fact, after the Chernobyl disaster, birth defects were attributed as far away as Turkey.

[–]cndman 0 points1 point ago

While he might have gotten $10000, by activating this edict he permanently lost respect with the environmentalist faction.

[–]deathbytray 0 points1 point ago

Well, there goes the neighborhood.

[–]macblastoff 1 point2 points ago

I was with you, right up to the "Enjoy! :)"

[–]moza13 1 point2 points ago

Awesome, just made this my facebook timeline cover thing. I hate facebook, so an A-bomb going off just makes it that much better

[–]Vranak 1 point2 points ago

If you do this (detonate nuclear devices on a tropical island paradise), fuck you!

[–]setinblewaway -1 points0 points ago

Only on Reddit can you put atom bomb and a Smiley on the same post, not to mention on the front page of all places

[–]r1ckyh1mself 0 points1 point ago

That is just amazing. I can't imagine seeing something like that in real life.

[–]pad33 0 points1 point ago

thx !

[–]OneMemeMofo -1 points0 points ago

Its funny how this bomb was so small compared to what the soviets were using, i guess they had to compensate for their shit caveman like computers and targeting systems... now had they created nuclear armed warhead guided missiles the likes of which the Czar Bomba was made up of the US would have totally been fucked. They would have never occupied and set up nuclear grounds in cuba and the US and the USSR would probably blown each other away some other point in time...

[–]gadnium 0 points1 point ago

Awesome!

[–]bprudent 0 points1 point ago

Don't look at it - you'll get radiation sickness!

[–]suspectlamb 1 point2 points ago

how the fuck do you that ?

[–]Gleethor 0 points1 point ago

What hath man wrought

[–]lenchmob 1 point2 points ago

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?