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Breaking News !!! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by walczyk

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[–]tygrannas 117 points118 points ago

Fun fact, that was after several bombs were disguised and flashlights in Phoenix.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

As a Phoenix resident, this is true.. and it was scary as hell... because people thought it was funny to leave random flash lights ALL over the place.

T'was a scary time indeed.

[–]Kegplant 2 points3 points ago

Those are the kind of people that are wasting public resources and deserve to get their hand blown off by a firecracker.

Then when they want EMS, it's all tied up because the police were too busy investigating a fake flashlight.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Yea and the thing is, people were warned and still kept picking them up and moving them!

[–]tanu24 13 points14 points ago

I was thinking this, it is a weird place for a flashlight to be and people can make bombs out of almost anything why not a flashlight. I don't know how big an explosion could be from something this small but i'm sure its enough to take down whoever picks it up.

[–]nunyain 6 points7 points ago

I found a maglight laying in the street in Gilbert (outside of Phoenix). I assumed it fell off of a worker's truck. Lucky for me it wasn't a bomb because the first thing I did was turn it on. Still have it.

[–]Gjeesterphlunnie 16 points17 points ago

Hand grenades are smaller...

[–]tanu24 16 points17 points ago

Well now I feel stupid

[–]dudeguy2 8 points9 points ago

It's about the size of predators wristband...

[–]sarcasticsniper 0 points1 point ago

I bet if it was a Dolphin torch everyone would love it

[–]Aspel 2 points3 points ago

I was about to say, I'd be the one to pick a flashlight up off the ground, try it out, and then blow up.

[–]RITarded 1 point2 points ago

and flashlights? What about flashlights?

[–]aarghj 1 point2 points ago

Fun fact, they were not "disguised" as flashlights. They WERE flashlights that were modified into bombs.

[–]CogitoNM 36 points37 points ago

Hell yea. After those flashlight bombs in AZ those things are suspicious.

Soon we'll have to have ID to buy them.

[–]PhillyCheeseBlunt 1 point2 points ago

This is a shot of one of the first flashlight bombs found in Phoenix a few months ago. There was a small wave of these type of devices, but I haven't heard anything about them since. This is also a repost.

[–]hulkzilla 11 points12 points ago

BREAKING NEWS! It's a repost.

[–]chrismetalrock 9 points10 points ago

why is it always in Phoenix

[–]DOWNWTDASICKNESS 19 points20 points ago

because immigrants thats all they do you know just ride around in their low riders listening to raps and shooting all the jobs

[–]Minkatte 6 points7 points ago

And cramming their low-riders full of free health care and... snow.

[–]stancoffyn -1 points0 points ago

This is why we are racists you know? Cause we blame the immigrants.

[–]BIGJOESNUFFY 2 points3 points ago

Sheriff Joe Arpaio

[–]iamadogforreal 7 points8 points ago

Alex, I'd like to take 'Real life headlines that sound like Onion articles' for $500.

[–]imbrizzle 8 points9 points ago

/r/nottheonion

[–]Babyface_Jackson 4 points5 points ago

We should just get rid of /r/funny since all of its content just ends up here anyway.

[–]Shortys242 4 points5 points ago

this was posted several months ago... it even got to the facebook stage...

[–]sicnarfj 3 points4 points ago

Repost brosef

[–]ITS_ANOTHER_REPOST 4 points5 points ago

repost

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

repost

[–]Nolanoscopy 7 points8 points ago

OHEY NICE REPOST BRO!

[–]FamousRedditName 8 points9 points ago

This is a repost..

DOWNVOTERS, UNITE!

[–]Tristan357 18 points19 points ago

Breaking News. OP is fag that reposts.

[–]adrian_t45 5 points6 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/DXzah.png

[–]Ratajski 1 point2 points ago

I know that "LOL" is overused, but that one literally made me laugh out loud. Upvote for you, good sir!

[–]BHynes92 7 points8 points ago

Woo, a repost of a news story that happened over a month ago!

[–]ZAHANMA 11 points12 points ago

More like suspicious re-post.

[–]crabby1990 3 points4 points ago

Hell I am from Illinois and I have herd about all the bombs disguised as flashlights in Phoenix.

[–]DanInSF 3 points4 points ago

Did anyone else read "fleshlight"? I think the internet has ruined me.

[–]chimerauprising 1 point2 points ago

Better than being completely oblivious.

[–]iswearatkids -1 points0 points ago

It's suspicious because they are used to flesh lights being in the middle of the road.

[–]MattOnADinosaur 3 points4 points ago

They would refer to it as "suspicious". It's black.

[–]CasioKnight 1 point2 points ago

Just saying you don't often see a white flashlight on the news doing that type of stuff.

And before anyone starts hating me, some of the best flashlights I own are black. So there.

[–]DoctorBrian 2 points3 points ago

How is this remotely WTF worthy?

[–]chingyduster -2 points-1 points ago

It's not, my only regret is that I can only give this one down vote.

[–]DoctorBrian -1 points0 points ago

Eat my dick

[–]HorribleComments 0 points1 point ago

The detective going after the "Phoenix Flasher" was having a rough day.

[–]Shamrocker32 0 points1 point ago

Probably a fleshlight

[–]SpottyGiraffe 2 points3 points ago

i registered in my mind as "suspicious fleshlight"...

[–]BusRider 4 points5 points ago

Breaking News! Repost from weeks ago!

[–]walczyk[S] 0 points1 point ago

of course the black flashlight is suspicious, but the white pole gets to just stand there

[–]DontCallMeNeilSedaka -3 points-2 points ago

You're kinda a dick. There have been several bombs in Arizona disguised as flashlights.

[–]el___diablo 0 points1 point ago

It's a terrorch !

[–]Upgrade18 0 points1 point ago

The last couple of people to approach the flashlight were never heard or seen from again.

[–]SitAndRelax -1 points0 points ago

America can't seem to process that news can also be about non-violent and suspicious things

[–]freaky_nightmare -1 points0 points ago

slow news day? what's next? the chicken actually crossed the street?!

[–]CucurbitaeCaput 0 points1 point ago

A curious rover on mars, a suspicious flashlight on the street... What comes next? Maybe a generous torch at the mall?

[–]RealityChickCheck 1 point2 points ago

Must be watching FOX

[–]squeeeeenis -1 points0 points ago

wait a second.... Phoenix isn't in Canada.

[–]Xxmidnightstar -1 points0 points ago

I love how I'm looking at this when I'm on 3rd and Jefferson in another town

[–]Atopanunderwood 1 point2 points ago

What, because it is black?

[–]sweetpotatosaurus 1 point2 points ago

r/funny

[–]azhockeyfan 1 point2 points ago

A few people were hurt when 2 flashlight previous to this one exploded when they were turned on.

[–]alexohno -1 points0 points ago

The court house a few blocks from my office was evacuated for a "suspicious coconut". Turns out it fell out of a shopping bag and the owner didn't notice...

[–]idonotcollectstamps 0 points1 point ago

They are trying to make it sound like there is a serious IED problem in the United States.

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Military/2012/0717/Pentagon-warns-that-US-faces-IED-threat-at-home

Brace yourself

Martial law is coming.

[–]whatumeanbyliterally 0 points1 point ago

Did someone say fleshlight?

no?

Oh, ok then.

[–]zombi3mak3r 0 points1 point ago

this just end!!!

[–]broiled -1 points0 points ago

Quick, it's not white! Check it's papers!

[–]shapirog 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of this Onion video: http://www.theonion.com/video/perfectly-good-tire-just-sitting-there-behind-the,19120/

[–]mydadsbirdy 0 points1 point ago

Actually, like someone said, teenagers are putting bombs in flashlights. I know one of young kids in my neighborhood saw a yellow industrial flashlight near the bustop. :/

[–]fourknotsnowhere 0 points1 point ago

someone should start leaving fleshlights laying around

[–]ThatOneGuyInTX 0 points1 point ago

I feel like this is gonna be a new thing where everyone is just going to leave flashlights on the middle of the street.

[–]AmishTaters 0 points1 point ago

Flashlight...? Or fleshlight?

[–]xSangoMiroku 1 point2 points ago

This makes me proud of my city.

[–]CBass32001 0 points1 point ago

If you had any brains at all and everything wasn't a sociopathic joke you people would realize it could easily be a pipe bomb. Why would a flash light just be chilling out in the middle of nowhere?

[–]FlattestOfAllTires 1 point2 points ago

REPOST!!!

[–]BatmansNygma 0 points1 point ago

Cool, it's live

[–]thlayli_x -1 points0 points ago

Wow. I submit it a month ago and it gets 0 upvotes. :p http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/vsy3f/wait_theres_a_suspicious_what_in_the_street/

[–]OrangeMonkeyee 0 points1 point ago

genius free advertising. Get a big box. I mean a fucking gigantic box. Like the biggest box you can shove on a truck. Then in a busy city have it "fall off". Now you have national TV and shit and then have it open with your companies slogan or whatver. Oh wait, chickfila did that with a giant gay box, never mind.

[–]BitterNAlone 0 points1 point ago

Oh, My. God! Not a FLASHLIGHT! Run like your ass is on FIRE'!

[–]Kushie1 0 points1 point ago

Phoenix has had 3 bombs made out of flashlights. That is why it is suspicious.

[–]drillpill 0 points1 point ago

Oh Jack....

[–]terminal_velocity 1 point2 points ago

that was a BIG deal, really. There were bombs stuffed into flashlights being found all over the city

[–]Ash29k -1 points0 points ago

'Merica...

[–]Ryanestrasz 0 points1 point ago

Two guys having fun with eachother? enjoying eachothers company? O.o

[–]Magolor 0 points1 point ago

The girl from Slender must have been there...

[–]Cogeno 0 points1 point ago

In Ottawa a couple of months ago, we had a Suspicious Pop Can

[–]adorabull -1 points0 points ago

Not a very bright idea for a story

[–]liveitup278 -2 points-1 points ago

Thought this was a fleshlight. Reddit is changing me.

[–]BishopKingOfTheWSV -2 points-1 points ago

Look at that flashlight sittin there so... Suspiciously... ( i have a dirty mind i thought it said fleshlight at first)

[–]ChasingShad0ws -2 points-1 points ago

The Onion?

[–]Kushie1 0 points1 point ago

No. We have had flashlight bombs lately in Phoenix. All Goodwills will no longer accept flashlights as donations.

[–]ChasingShad0ws 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for clarifying.

[–]OhhTyler -1 points0 points ago

Fleshlight*

[–]robotortoise -2 points-1 points ago

It's always Phoenix, isn't it?

Why are we filled with weirder headlines than L.A. sometimes? :0

[–]LifeInGreenLetters -4 points-3 points ago

Boss: Hey Bill, did you find that story I asked for? Reporter: Uh, Boss: Great! You're on in 10 minutes! Reporter: (quickly grabs flash light from van and tosses it onto the road) Good Afternoon, this is (name) reporting live from 3rd Ave. and Jefferson about the sudden appearance of a mysterious flashlight. Reporter2: (over phone) Could you tell us more about this flashlight? Is is possibly an alien flashlight? Reporter:Uh, no. It's just a flashlight. Now back to Bill with the weather...

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