9 ways.

PhiladelphiaIrish · 2 months

Missed "The Fireman", where shit gets stuck to the side of the bowl and you perform your sacred manly duty to piss it off.

Wholesaletrash · 2 months

They forgot the drunken one hand on the wall stance.

bossbrew · 2 months

You forgot the "Sneezer". It's when you sneeze midstream and the recoil causes a HUGE mess.

beeboppizzacat · 2 months

I am confused on the backward curve... am I the only one?

KungPowChicken · 2 months

Nothing makes you feel manlier than a nice sit down piss

vt_pete · 2 months

LOL #7, also the "middle of the night", or the "too drunk to stand."

PraetorianFury · 2 months

The pros do #2. I pee like a ninja.

lotr_legolas · 2 months

Forgot the "peeing while having a boner" one!

murdaface86 · 2 months

Forgot the Ghostbusters; where you and a friend try not to cross the streams!

TheUnknownFactor · 2 months

They forgot the morning wood. It's tough being a man.

NoPunOffended · 2 months

You also forgot "The Nonchalant" where you stand back as far as you can without holding it with either hand and pee while you look at your phone or lean back.

HOW TO (Just in case I'm the only one that does this)

It's starts out as the normal, then as you begin to let go, start taking steps back, once you are at full stream your hands should be released and the stream should be on target.

Good Luck.

iglooHotbox · 2 months

In addition, lets not forget the sit down pee where you lean forward slightly, and it comes out the front of the bottom lid and down your leg. Meanwhile your now depressed-for-life penis slides down the porcelain like butter on a frying pan while you finish up the stream.

Quatroking · 2 months

permanent #7 over here. I can't aim for shit.

PlayrHatrXtrordinair · 2 months

It's become a tradition for me to post this on this repost that has thus been reposted since it has first been posted.

And in the many times I have posted this repost it was been unsuccessful until I started complaining about how unsuccessful my repost has been.

The post is leaving out the I'm in a public restroom let's see how far I can back up piss.

preske · 2 months

7 is by far the superior choose of peeing (unless it it a public restroom).

No hassle with girlfriend about how you peed on the toiletseat
No hassle with girlfriend about how you left the toiletseat up.
You can read something while sitting
no splashback
a lot quiter
a lot faster

reddit_beats_college · 2 months

you forgot the "race the toilet flush."

Germino · 2 months

I play a game where I flush the toilet 5 seconds after pissing and see if I can finish before the water flushes down.....always win.

holyducttape · 2 months

Dem eyebrows.

MarkoSeke · 2 months

Thank God I'm not alone on #7.

ninjaman27 · 2 months

6 is the best feeling ever

Tomollins · 2 months

What about the "morning wood", where you have to bend over 90 degrees to hit the bowl.

Mr_Rivers · 2 months

Does no one else kneels down to pee? It's so much easier than trying to pull your trousers down when you're drunk

syncratio400 · 2 months

Also, the dreaded triple stream. Good luck keeping even two of those streams in the toilet bowl.

chemical_imbalance · 2 months

i just piss in the sink.

yadunkno · 2 months

2. The stealth piss.

The_Drummer · 2 months

Think you've got these all down? Time to play on expert.

Peeing AT NIGHT.

Hope you've practiced your echolocation.

Coloredditor · 2 months

Don't forget the "Pee in the Dark because you don't want to lose your night vision"

PatrickBateman1 · 2 months

Written by a woman it seems (Jamie) and she obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. Push too hard? No that's not how peeing works. The backwards curve? WTF?

TheDudeaBides96 · 2 months

What about the "I have to take a shit but I don't want to and the pressure from pissing is going to make me shit"?

PachoWumbo · 2 months

Fuck all those problems. I just do #7 all the time out of convenience, except in public places.

2 months

[deleted]

wormyrocks · 2 months

6 was beautiful.

paracog · 2 months

Upbolted

TexasWithADollarsign · 2 months

Also needs "The Drunk", where you're pissing into the sink, the litter box, the oven, and/or a random chair.

Freddytiptoes · 2 months

What about the airport toilet seat that always falls when you are mid stream? You need like one hand to hold it up and one for everything else.

alide · 2 months

If you have a short bat, stand closer to the plate.

supermonkey1313 · 2 months

As a female, I can safely say that we only have two ways; the normal (which is equal to your "just-woken-up") and the squatting-in-the-shower-while-the-water-gets-warm-because-if-you-do-it-standing-up-you'll-get-pee-all-over-your-legs.

JuggerButz67 · 2 months

Missed the most critical hand on the wall, hips out, bent at the waist boner piss.

OWSucks · 2 months

You forgot "The Long Range" aka "The Arc".

Stormdancer · 2 months

It's like a shower of pure comedy gold.

timm86 · 2 months

Lost my shit at [7]

thatoneguy1415 · 2 months

I think I'll make several more accounts just so I can upvote this again and again.

the_bill11 · 2 months

You forgot the "I'm fucking hammered, pee in the sink because it's a good idea."

thetravelers · 2 months

I don't believe that the "backward curve" is even possible unless you have a fan going full strength directly between your legs.

undead_dilemma · 2 months

"just woken up" is actually the posh pee. Best ever.

nolaresident · 2 months

According to these drawings, no matter how a guy pees, he leaves the toilet seat down to do it...

Xylaar · 2 months

You forgot the legendary "mortar".

apostate_of_Poincare · 2 months

missing: the just had sex last night

milamber_ · 2 months

As a penis, I can confirm this

ExtraDip · 2 months

When I first had the double stream, I was a little scared. I thought something was wrong with me

Falias · 2 months

Gets me everytime i see it

devia_anima · 2 months

The one way girls pee: NOT STANDING UP.

patdap · 2 months

What about the long piss? I can't be the only one with a full tank that has tried walking backwards to see how far back I could go.

fingerBANGwithWANG · 2 months

I pee at a constant "6"

Flavorful_Chunt · 2 months

We all know what caused that double stream...

jevmorgan · 2 months

The best one is definitely peeing off of a cliff. If it's a really high cliff, you hear nothing. It's just a beautiful silence. Tranquil. Pure.

I did this at the Grand Canyon once. It was one of my favorite achievements I have accomplished in my travels.

reddit_recruiter · 2 months

How could they forget the Wall Palm aka Hand on Wall? The 'No Hands' too. Best types of all!!!!

Sphenodonta · 2 months

Am I the only male who doesn't have issues with pissing? I mean jeez. I feel so alone. T-T

utroj7 · 2 months

right before going on reddit, i did the "shhh" method

itsallnipply · 2 months

The "pushed too hard" happened to me in between my junior and senior year of high school at side by side urinals with my varsity football coach.... got captaincy a few weeks later :)

WhiskeyMeteorite · 2 months

What about the boner piss?

tenaciousxtiff · 2 months

From the look of my toilet, I suspect my boyfriend does all 9 everything.

AadeeMoien · 2 months

I once peed to the side. True story, 80 degree angle, got everywhere.

Mytanksanokia · 2 months

You forgot "The Superman" where i pee standing with both hands on my hips, with my chin up as i pee directly into the center of the bowl to show everyone who's boss.

ImBacki · 2 months

You forgot "The Impossible", where you try and pee with a boner.

sweetie_poopsy_pants · 2 months

Opie from O&A revealed on the show once that he uses his socks to wipe up errant piss. He'll just wipe the bowl with the sock that he's wearing. Or the floor, the cabinet, whatever.

meh11 · 2 months

What about the post-poo pee!?!?!?!

TheTyGuy · 2 months

Sometimes if I've got a good stream going I start walking back and see how far away I can go.

tcdlord · 2 months

And he I was...ashamed of myself for sitting to piss in the mornings when there are more people out there like me!

drmchan · 2 months

So I'm not the only one who does that in the morning

Bencool · 2 months

the backward curve is physically impossible without a toilet made of polyethylene. Gravity don't do dat.

nightfan · 2 months

9 ways to repost.

fa_cube_itch · 2 months

I appreciate that in #9 he is cleaning up the mess. :)

CapWasRight · 2 months

As a male, I've never understood this. I sit down so I don't make a mess.

number676766 · 2 months

The sneeze piss! Where's the sneeze piss!?

nunnally · 2 months

What about the morning wood piss where you have to make a 120 degree angle with your body.

excommunicated · 2 months

Reminded me of a vgcats. (source)

Lilyo · 2 months

Morning edition.

Mallanaga · 2 months

you forgot the "just woke up with a boner" pee

iGinger101 · 2 months

I know that feel bro

everflow · 2 months

I thought I was the only one who occasionally gets #8.

JimmyFlimFlam · 2 months

What about The Butters?

uchi · 2 months

I like to call the two streams "The Double Dragon".

I3lackcell · 2 months

Missed the "No Hander".

Spicy_Poo · 2 months

Or you could just sit down and not piss everywhere.

C-Dub1980 · 2 months

I just pissed myself reading that!

Boring_Machine · 2 months

Forgot the " leave the door open but pee from the side of the toilet so your backs to the opening"

Quenchiest · 2 months

Golden Arch or "McDonalds" piss.

Where you have an erection and have to arc the piss into the toilet from the hallway

hooya1 · 2 months

Why dont guys use #7 all the time and avoid the mishaps?

jpellett251 · 2 months

From reddit I've learned that I'm apparently the only man who doesn't make a mess while peeing.

VI0LENTjoe · 2 months

Don't forget "the boner"

Khiraji · 2 months

Scatterpiss is the worst. Always comes when you least expect it, too. Or sometimes when you do but refuse to accept it.

CaptainSmartass · 2 months

Original source.

CLIV2721 · 2 months

NUMBER 6 HURTS LIKE SHIT

Devon64327 · 2 months

I use number 3 when I'm trying to make a point about AM radio's superiority.

MrZarter · 2 months

I have never experienced the "backward curve" piss stream. -guy for 24 years

leftofmarx · 2 months

I always sit down to pee so I don't have to worry about any of these other things. I don't know why other guys are so obsessed with standing up to pee, unless you're out in the woods or in a dirty bar bathroom.

By the way, sitting down is the only way you can really fully empty your bladder and it's far better for men's health as well as far, far more sanitary.

QuietNiceGuy · 2 months

2, 2 all the time.

jon2kx · 2 months

I totally have the wake up sit down groggy piss.

jal0001 · 2 months

You forgot the Twist and Shout^TM

When you get a cold shiver and it sprays side to side and you yell "Fuck!"

confusedcactus420 · 2 months

-__________-

funny

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

MODERATORS

7's unite!

2. The stealth piss.

6 was beautiful.

funny

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

MODERATORS

7's unite!

2. The stealth piss.

6 was beautiful.

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