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all 117 comments

[–]namfonos 26 points27 points ago

you don't need a period after versus unless you're abbreviating it as in "vs."

[–]beerdeer 7 points8 points ago

yeah. the. punctuation. in. the title. bothered. me. a. little.

[–]namfonos 15 points16 points ago

god damn man. I even read your sentence slower because of those things. They felt like a physical stopping force that I was powerless against.

[–]schoocher 1 point2 points ago

All sentences start with capital letters.

[–]suddenly_ponies 8 points9 points ago

[–]helgihermadur 1 point2 points ago

Those are excellent! Thanks.

[–]FaroutIGE 17 points18 points ago

CTRL-F "Dali" :'(

my favorite

[–]etrebug 31 points32 points ago

Why giraffes didn't evolve to that?

[–]HiImDan 83 points84 points ago

Taller legs are less stable. Think of the At-At's At St's in Star Wars. Teddy bears were able to take them out.

[–]Slanderous 22 points23 points ago

Would basically be impossible to drink from pools/rivers with this arrangement.

[–]Luxys_grey320 0 points1 point ago

Unless the water is deep enough for it to walk into and drink almost completely submerged

[–]apocalypso 0 points1 point ago

Good luck finding that on a regular basis in Africa though.

[–]obligatory_ 42 points43 points ago

It also makes no sense to be that tall in the first place without a flexible neck. The whole point of the (normal) giraffe being that tall is that it gives it access to food at a greater range of heights. The right giraffe is restricted to food at great heights and can't reach lower because it doesn't have the neck. Might as well be restricted to food at lower heights.

Source: I'm talking out of my ass.

[–]Rag3niv 10 points11 points ago

It could just kneel?

I'm not an animal expert and that may be difficult/impossible, but if they're able to adapt to 10 foot legs..

[–]poon-is-food 9 points10 points ago

The reason for the long necks is so you can eat leaves high up on trees, and bend the neck to drink from lakes.

For arguements sake, giraffe two has the exact same ability to eat and drink, except it has to kneel to get low food and to drink, rather than bend its neck.

Kneeling leaves the giraffe a target and easy prey, it would be much harder to get up and run quickly if on your knees, than if you just had your neck bent over.

The giraffes that were a bit like the one on the right and had to kneel to drink probably got eaten and so their genetics not passed on, so we dont see giraffes like that.

[–]k2cougar 1 point2 points ago

False, their long necks are for fighting for mates.

exhibit a

[–]SparkandFire 1 point2 points ago

First to break their neck loses

[–]Jaibyrd 0 points1 point ago

That's natural selection for you.

[–]zincake 0 points1 point ago

Actually, they don't eat the top leaves.

The long neck is more for a combination of increased sight for long distances and for the wimpiest looking dominance fighting ever.

Plus, they have to kneel anyway to drink, and are incredibly clumsy about it.

[–]Montuckian 3 points4 points ago

It's also a question of nutrient economy. It's much easier, nutrient wise, to extend one appendage, even with the complexities that come along with it being the neck, than to have four appendages taking up all of those additional nutrients.

There's a limit to how much calcium and other nutrients can be taken in and used by the body and using them for one thing can limit the supply for other body features that use the same nutrients (think teeth). All of convey an effect on the overall fitness of the animal which determines the chances of survival of the animal and the species as a whole, statistically speaking.

The other side of the coin is that the long limbs would likely be a detriment on the animal considering the pressures it has. Broken limbs and falling from a great height are both concerns for an animal that size and giraffes are already conditioned to fear that. If you ever get a chance to go to the San Diego zoo, you'll notice that the giraffe enclosure is simply a flat platform with a two foot drop on all sides, owing to the fact that giraffes will not willingly step down a drop that large.

[–]k2cougar 1 point2 points ago

You're actually wrong, giraffes fight for mates by whipping eachother with their necks. The longer neck whips harder, thus gets to mate and pass on its genes. The extended reach is just a byproduct of this.

Don't believe me? believe it

[–]Epilepep 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, the reason their necks aren't that short is because they wouldn't be able to bend down for water...

[–]zincake 0 points1 point ago

But, they already bend down for water? Their necks are way shorter than their legs. They go all woobly-kneely at the water's edge, and risk fainting due to their arteries not working or something every time they do so.

[–]Epilepep 0 points1 point ago

I know, but think about them trying that if their necks were shorter. It would be impossible for them to reach the water because their necks wouldn't let them get there. If you look at this, you can see the necks play as big a role in getting to water as the legs do.

[–]zincake 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, but as they are now, if they stayed in that position for more than a few moments they would die, as they wouldn't be able to pump blood out of their heads.

Perhaps, this imaginary parallel world also has trees that work as giant cup plants.

[–]Epilepep 0 points1 point ago

Perhaps... Then this parallel giraffe would make sense.

[–]Den0702 -1 points0 points ago

But it's a parallel universe. The gravity could be weaker, therefore allowing the legs to support the body. Or there could be a completely new set of physical laws, as it's an absolutely different universe, which somehow allows giraffes to grow like this.

I think I've seen to many episodes of Through the Wormhole.

[–]Ryndo 9 points10 points ago

Think of the At-At's AT-STs in Star Wars

[–]etrebug 2 points3 points ago

Good point.

[–]Axolotile 0 points1 point ago

So you're saying that At-Ats should have long necks...

[–]rahmspinat 1 point2 points ago

Also, much more material for 4 legs than for 1 neck.

[–]McMeanface 0 points1 point ago

This was the best analogy I've heard in quite some time. Well done.

[–]MissGingerAle 0 points1 point ago

break one leg, win fight. I'm not sure why that guy is scared...

[–]exxocet 13 points14 points ago

While you sift through all the bullshit answers I hope you find this one. They did not evolve to that because their necks were elongated not to reach high things (giraffes often bend down to eat the tops of lower bushes) but rather as a fighting tool, like the horns of an antelope. A longer neck gave them an advantage in fighting for mates. Females have also ended up with this trait (and fluffy horns) as a result of the developmental process as an embryo.

[–]mcpi 6 points7 points ago

This is supported because giraffes eat food from trees near shoulder height, not head height.

Edit: Textbook graph.

[–]smash790 0 points1 point ago

textbook :)

[–]quintessadragon 0 points1 point ago

Thank you!

[–]Deeger 0 points1 point ago

Also, their neck and legs have related heights-- they have to be able to bend down to drink water from a pond/water source. If they legitimately sat down to drink, they'd be significantly more vulnerable.

[–]whattothewhonow 5 points6 points ago

It would have to lie completely down to get its head close enough to the water to drink, making it very vulnerable to predators.

[–]Nulthrax 3 points4 points ago

Because they have to give birth, giraffe babies have to fall a couple of feet anyway when born, if they had legs as long as the giraffe in the parallel universe, the fall would probably kill them

[–]ralphpotato 2 points3 points ago

I thought about that, too. Natural selection tells us that line of giraffes wouldn't last long.

[–]Gorgyworgy 2 points3 points ago

retarded center of gravity, huge chance of injury with such scrawny long legs. impossible to rest properly. -> would die.

[–]THEREFOREiEXIST 1 point2 points ago

They're non-existent necks prevent them from reaching the ground for water. Also baby giraffes could die from falling out of the body at that height.

[–]Nachteule 2 points3 points ago

Because they would not be able to drink and when they give birth the baby would drop dead.

[–]AidanReddit 2 points3 points ago

Has anyone ever been so far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]etrebug -4 points-3 points ago

Yeah, because i knew i'd find you here.

[–]HelloHelloHiHello 0 points1 point ago

Dehydration.

[–]cl3ver 1 point2 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7HCIGFdBt8

Defense of territory and shit talking giraffes.

[–]adaminc 0 points1 point ago

Giraffes and Horses have a close common ancestor.

[–]Bean0 1 point2 points ago

Giraffes actually fight with their necks, they wouldn't be very strong with a stumpy neck. See here

[–]etrebug 0 points1 point ago

That's awesome! I've always seen giraffes as extremely pacific beings, now that image has changed a bit.

[–]Bean0 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, it looks really odd !

[–]wigglewigglepig 1 point2 points ago

because they need to drink from the ground

[–]cixelsyd 0 points1 point ago

Although at first glance I also thought, "Hey, that's cool, that could have happened...", I quickly realized that, provided the laws of physics are the same in this parallel universe, the first case is far more probable an evolutionary outcome.

This is because the buckling load of a column (in this case, a leg bone) is inversely proportional to the square of the length (euler buckling, keeping things elastic, I don't know much about the material properties of bone).

Basically, the latter giraffe's legs are twice as long as the formers, so they would theoretically only be able to support 1/4 of the weight.

[–]Daydu 5 points6 points ago

How does the one on the right drink water?

[–]wwarren 4 points5 points ago

A straw from a parallel universe of course

[–]aland323[S] 0 points1 point ago

kneels down i suppose

[–]Icanhazcarrot 1 point2 points ago

It gets on its knees. Heh.

[–]Veo_x 0 points1 point ago

Blowjobs. Heh.

[–]andycapp614 0 points1 point ago

Heh. Heh.

[–]ull90 0 points1 point ago

It lives near deep lakes.

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 4 points5 points ago

I have this strange urge to tip it.

[–]StewieBanana 3 points4 points ago

Gigantic neck sweep attack to the legs. Our universe wins.

[–]Quaytsar 4 points5 points ago

You don't put the period after "versus" unless it's shortened to "vs.".

[–]whyDoIneedtThis 1 point2 points ago

Landstriders from The dark crystal.

[–]martin_lomax 1 point2 points ago

Ug.. such ugly, poorly thought out creatures those were. Jim Henson's biggest disappointment.

[–]Hexode 0 points1 point ago

Makes me think of dali

[–]Sladix 2 points3 points ago

Wow, who did that painting ? I'd love to see more of his/her works !

[–]suddenly_ponies 4 points5 points ago

[–]fuckyeahrad 1 point2 points ago

those are some seriously wrinkly giraffes.

[–]Bickfordbritt333 1 point2 points ago

Tries to run...breaks legs.

[–]TrollingKevi 0 points1 point ago

I wonder what elephants would look like in the parallel universe..

[–]Adidos 0 points1 point ago

Kinda looks like a moose doesn't it?

[–]Hurricane_Michael 0 points1 point ago

Seeing how giraffes in our universe have legs that average 6 feet long, shouldn't the giraffe in the parallel universe have really short legs?

[–]Happy_Lobsters 0 points1 point ago

Thats just what giraffes look like when they get too much protein

[–]McGravin 0 points1 point ago

Parallel universe giraffes would die of thirst, apparently.

[–]Griff_Steeltower 0 points1 point ago

And the way better center of gravity leads to Universe A's overwhelming victory.

HOORAY, UNIVERSE A

[–]supermonkey1313 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure the longer neck poses more of an evolutionary advantage. So, probably not.

Edit: Unless, of course, the parallel universe had different laws of physics than ours. Then who knows what kind of crazy shit would go down... or in this case, up.

[–]roblevmil 0 points1 point ago

"you can be crappy universe A we'll be universe 1" "or the mongooses, the fighting mongooses that's a cool team name"

[–]Ostylee 0 points1 point ago

I wonder how fast it could run

[–]pingthepong 0 points1 point ago

It is well known that giraffes in the parallel universe are white on top with a spotted underbelly.

[–]barton100 1 point2 points ago

its clear as day why then didn't evolve like that, How would they drink water if they looked like that?

[–]stasakas 0 points1 point ago

His shit must drop a long ways.

[–]ull90 -1 points0 points ago

Wouldn't parallel universes be exactly the same as ours?

Edit: No? Ok, thanks for explaining the difference.

[–]BallsackTBaghard 0 points1 point ago

The right one is top-heavy. He would get stomped hard.

[–]bedhead_numbah3 0 points1 point ago

Let's get a lion from a parallel universe. Would probably be the size of a pug...

[–]equestrian123123 0 points1 point ago

The long legged one looks like an Italian Greyhound. http://www.dogfamily.org/images/italian-greyhound-3.jpg

[–]wheresmyhouse 1 point2 points ago

Zebras are weird.

[–]MrColdBalls 0 points1 point ago

There must be some really short trees trying to eat their balls

[–]flyinpat 0 points1 point ago

Only one example? Boo

[–]TacosDeCabeza 0 points1 point ago

Looks like an organic version of the alien ships from War of the Worlds.

(Parallel universe spoiler - Does Tom Cruise get killed in that universe? Cause I might like to move there.)

[–]martin_lomax 0 points1 point ago

Who cares how and why.. I just wanna know who would win in a fight.

[–]Athene_Wins 0 points1 point ago

That thing's penis would have to be 3.5 feet long to reproduce.

Source: I'm an animal penis length expert.

[–]henrythorough 0 points1 point ago

I love that giraffes are the closing living relative to the pronghorn antelope of the western US. This image at least bears some family resemblance

[–]Fartsmell 0 points1 point ago

Would be a long fall for the baby!

[–]BladePhoenix 0 points1 point ago

silt strider?

[–]Zailmeister 0 points1 point ago

Second giraffe cannot drink water.

[–]itsjeffreywayne 0 points1 point ago

SWEEP THE LEG JOHNNY!!!

[–]Relmnight 0 points1 point ago

i can just imagine the second giraffe just raising on of his feat and say "fuck you"

Just me?

[–]totalbudforever 0 points1 point ago

But in a parallel universe wouldn't it mean that giraffes don't exist at all because they exist in this one? lol I like this pic upvote yo.

[–]uhobi 0 points1 point ago

[–]Brettshock 0 points1 point ago

Wrong way. Giraffes have very small necks compared to their legs. The legs should be very short, and the neck stupidly long.

[–]blondoosh 0 points1 point ago

Wouldn't a parallel universe be the same? I would describe this as a perpendicular universe.

[–]Thydamine 0 points1 point ago

Clop 2

[–]gb1035 1 point2 points ago

anyone else immediately think of this?

[–]xXxTommy316xXx 0 points1 point ago

FALSE: Male giraffes have longer necks so they can fight with other male giraffes, the long neck idea for food is a myth.

Example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7HCIGFdBt8

edit: Also to attract females

[–]quintessadragon 1 point2 points ago

Don't know why you're getting down-voted

[–]xXxTommy316xXx 0 points1 point ago

..because that parallel universe giraffe looks epic, biologically ridiculous but still awesome lol

[–]dlawnro -3 points-2 points ago

Obligatory "geraffes are dumb"

[–]hot_skillet 4 points5 points ago

nobody would have said that

[–]A_Cylon_Raider 0 points1 point ago

Clearly it should be long horses.

[–]Raider17 0 points1 point ago

Came here for this. Leaving satisfied.

[–]ender4999 1 point2 points ago

Is this funny? This just doesn't strike me as the right subreddit for something like that.

[–]polaroid -3 points-2 points ago

Sauce?