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1140

What's the one thing you need in a bear attack? (imgur.com)

submitted ago by HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYA

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[–]Cozmo23 95 points96 points ago

Remind me of when I was taking SCUBA diving lessons someone asked the instructor why divers had knives and it seemed they were two small to kill a shark. He replied that they were not for killing the shark they were for cutting your dive buddy and swimming away.

[–]kepaa 56 points57 points ago

This is actually real. Source:I am a scuba instructor. You can also use it on somebody trying to steal your reg because they were too stupid to check their air

[–]iamkokonutz 83 points84 points ago

I was at 70 feet, and a few minutes into a dive when an o-ring blew and my tank rapidly emptied. My dive partner handed me his alternate air source and we started to make a plan for our assent.

He still had over 2500lbs of air, so we sitting calmly sitting on the bottom, waiting for another diver to catch the 4th in our group and bring him back so we could decide who was continuing the dive, and who was escorting me to the surface.

Well, jack@ss who's backup I was using had a spear-gun, and spotted a fish. I was just looking around, and didn't notice him take off after it. He totally forgot I was relying on him, and ripped the reg from my mouth as he left. I'll never forget thinking, "drop my weight belt? or catch that mother#$%'er?!?"

Well, I decided to try and catch him, and after what seemed the longest 20 seconds of my life, I managed to catch him. I grabbed his ankle, knee, tank as I climbed him, then ripped his reg from his mouth since it was the only air source I knew exactly where it would be...

That, was my closest call and a horrible experience.

[–]Thameus 106 points107 points ago

So I was helping this dude that had lost his tank and SQUIRREL!

[–]Atomic_elephant 59 points60 points ago

I feel like someone with severe ADHD should not be allowed to dive.

[–]Happylime 6 points7 points ago

But if he wasn't there at all then iamkokonutz would be decomposed fish shit right now.

[–]Atomic_elephant -1 points0 points ago

If iamkokanoutz was not a good swimmer then he would have died really pissed off, or maybe someone else who wasn't dumb would have gave him their alternante air source and not swam away. But that first comment was mainly a joke. I don't discriminate dawg.

[–]iamkokonutz 0 points1 point ago

Ha. I've never actually been accused of being a strong or swift swimmer, but watching him moving away from me, turned me into the next Michael Phelps. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug...

[–]Comrde 0 points1 point ago

If you dropped all of you'r weight and rose to the surface at 70ft, would you'r lungs pop?

[–]mont94 2 points3 points ago

you'd get something called the bends i think.

[–]iamkokonutz 1 point2 points ago

about 33 feet will double the volume of air, so a full breath at that depth would expand to 2x that volume. More than enough to blow your lungs.

However, you can safely ascend from depth by keeping your airway open. either humming or speaking will allow expanding air to escape and prevent blowing your lungs.

You can also get "The bends" by ascending too quickly, but since we were only down for about 10 minutes when it all kicked sideways, there wasn't enough nitrogen in my blood stream to cause that.

[–]WillBlaze 2 points3 points ago

I remember seeing an episode of 1000 ways to die where someone had to sit in some special room to fix the pressure (or something) or she would die.

The details are vague but apparently it is pretty serious.

[–]electriczap4 1 point2 points ago

You're trained to exhale slowely, so as the air in your lungs expands, you exhale the same amount. In this way, you never "run out" of air, because it keeps expanding.

The thing you have to worry about is the nitrogen bubbles that are trapped in your body expanding, which is known as the Bends. Extremely painful, and the reason divers take a 3 minute rest stop at 15 feet before continuing all the way up.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]Actually_Doesnt_Care 0 points1 point ago

    That is incredibly terrifying.

    [–]I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA 1 point2 points ago

    I feel suffocated from just reading that.

    [–]Sheogorath_ 15 points16 points ago

    If someone was trying to steal my equipment underwater they would be dead in a hurry

    [–]kepaa 3 points4 points ago

    A panicked diver will grab your reg in a heartbeat. That is why really advanced divers wear a 6 foot hose as their primary and put their backup around their neck

    [–]Sheogorath_ 7 points8 points ago

    I've only dived with a select group of people from around the area and my mother and they always told me to beat the ass who grabs my air

    It's their fault for not signaling low oxygen

    it's their fault for not checking before they enter the water

    It's their fault for not checking every few minutes and looking around to make sure they aren't leaking

    They deserved it and I won't die because of their stupidity

    [–]kepaa 9 points10 points ago

    You are a smart diver. I ran out of air once. Once. I fell back on my training and signaled. Once I was able to reach a place where there was air. I put the backup reg in and held it in a death grip. There were extenuating circumstances to why I ran out. That is a story for another day though

    [–]Sheogorath_ 7 points8 points ago

    please do go on, hair raising tales of action are fun to read!

    [–]kepaa 5 points6 points ago

    I am on my phone. Short version: 240 foot dive. Missing diver. Finished pony bottle of nitrox. Gauge said I had 30 bar. Bottle was empty. 75-100 m swim to emergency air. Diver was found. I broke the first rule though. Never put yourself in danger in a rescue. You will just cut rescue resources in half.

    [–]Sheogorath_ 2 points3 points ago

    That's why i always said "rescue the other person first... I'll float to the top eventually

    It's my decision to help. If I don't have the resources I'm committing myself to death for them

    [–]kepaa 3 points4 points ago

    I just about did. I still had 20min of deco left. No chamber for 700 miles. It would have been a bad day if training hadn't kicked in

    [–]runujhkj 25 points26 points ago

    We got a badass over here

    Looking for a needlessly dramatic conversation? You've found it! Details inside.

    [–]ThatGuyRememberMe 11 points12 points ago

    No, we have another human trying to survive.

    [–]runujhkj -1 points0 points ago

    Looks like his badass friend has entered the fray.

    [–]MapleSyrupIsAwesome 7 points8 points ago

    What would you do? Surrender without a fight and die?

    Who is really trying to look like a badass here?

    load more comments (3 replies)

      [–]Keldrath 0 points1 point ago

      Why would you need to do that to be safe from a shark attack? Don't sharks only attack generally if they smell blood? if no ones bleeding you shouldn't have anything to worry about in the first place?

      [–]kepaa 2 points3 points ago

      Beginning is joke. Kind of like you don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than your friend. Whoosh

      [–]DSTFU 1 point2 points ago

      That sounds like some horror game contest where two of the closest of friends are placed in a cage with a shark and one has to kill the other but neither of them want to.

      [–]swordinthesound 0 points1 point ago

      They say if you and your friend are being chased by a dog, you don't have to outrun the dog, you just have to outrun your friend.

      [–]DuckHunter101 -1 points0 points ago

      Last time I went diving I took 4 grams of mushrooms and, needless to say, god dam glad I had that knife.

      [–]DolphinGirl1120 1 point2 points ago

      Are you shitting with me right now?

      load more comments (2 replies)

        [–]WolfKnifeLaserTorch 51 points52 points ago

        Okay, Shane.

        [–]MagicMoon 9 points10 points ago

        In all fairness 100+ zombies > 1 bear

        [–]Powerfury 6 points7 points ago

        I would pay to see it.

        [–]jnulynne 34 points35 points ago

        I live in Alaska and when tourists ask about bear bells or bear mace I tell them all they need to survive a brown bear/grizzly bear attack is to be able to outrun one person it their group. They laugh until they realize I'm serious. I spice things up once in a while by pointing out the most elderly person I can find or somebody who's being a tad obnoxious and suggest tripping them. For those of you not familiar with large, brown bears let me tell you that bells and sprays aren't going to stop an aggressive bear but they will irritate them.

        [–]farmthis 28 points29 points ago

        Lifelong Alaskan here... bear spray DOES work. You just need to know how to use it. it's not a squirt gun--it's not mace you carry on a keychain and try to get in a rapist's eyes--it's like atomic tear gas.

        You're supposed to make a cloud of it in the path of the charging bear. The bear runs in, it chokes, it can't breathe, it can't see... and best of all, it doesn't associate its discomfort with YOU. It's very likely to change its priorities from beating the shit out of you, to getting out of the bear spray.

        I like brown bears, anyway. Black bears creep me the fuck out.

        [–]SofaCommander 23 points24 points ago

        racist

        [–]farmthis 8 points9 points ago

        I don't like polar bears either.

        [–]Blazeinpain 3 points4 points ago

        Super racist

        [–]farmthis 2 points3 points ago

        I like brown bears.

        And panda bears.

        [–]Jaerdo 0 points1 point ago

        Polar bears are assholes. I lived in Nunavut for a couple months and they are all just jerks.

        [–]spinlocked 2 points3 points ago

        I'm just going to leave this here. Bears have an incredible sense of smell 2% capsaicin IS going to send them packing.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWnACum4SJs

        [–]Ting413 -1 points0 points ago

        Not trying to be a badass, but wouldn't just carrying an FN 5-7 rid you of the fear of bears? For people who don't know what a 5-7 is it is a pistol that shoots a shortened rifle bullet.

        [–]swohio 0 points1 point ago

        I'm going to opt for a S&W 500 if I'm carrying a handgun to defend myself from bears. It has about 8 times the energy of a 5.7mm round.

        [–]Ting413 -1 points0 points ago

        That's a little overkill. The 5-7 will pierce class 3 body armor, trauma plate and straight through the back. I think 5.7 is just enough.

        [–]farmthis 4 points5 points ago

        No, it's not. piercing body armor is one thing. It takes velocity, and bullet shape. Most pistol rounds are.. well... rounded. It spreads the force out across the kevlar whereas a rifle bullet is pointed, allowing it to pierce.

        A pocket knife will also pierce a kevlar vest for this reason.

        However, the 5.7 bullet is very small. It may pierce through a vest, but it won't piece deeply into a bear's muscle, fat, and bone. It has a velocity similar to .223, diameter similar to .223, but a bullet half the weight.

        Hunting bear with a .223 would be a mistake. It's even considered unethical to hunt deer with .223, though modern bullet design for the purpose of hunting is helping.

        FN 5.7 bullets weigh 25-30 grains. Same as a .22lr with double the velocity.

        That's not going to kill a bear.

        [–]faropsis 0 points1 point ago

        .223 unethical for deer hunting? I'd be interested in reading more on the subject. Sources?

        My first centerfire rifle was a break action .223 scout rifle and it made very fast, clean kills with one shot. It thoroughly mushified heart and lungs. Often deer I shot would fall sooner than the ones taken with my old man's 30-06 with similar bullet placement.

        Now avoiding .223 for bears is something I can agree with. I think most regulations require larger calibers for game bigger than white tails.

        [–]Sheogorath_ 1 point2 points ago

        But the heart is tasty :(

        [–]farmthis 1 point2 points ago

        I should say it's controversial. "considered" was the wrong word. Here's a link that was at the top of google.

        http://www.americanhunter.org/blogs/223-for-deer-hunting/

        [–]swohio 1 point2 points ago

        The 5-7 is a jacketed round, you're correct in that it will "pierce" through things. That's not the issue. Putting a hole through something will kill it eventually but you need a round with enough impact force to stop/disable a charging threat. In the case of a bear, you need a lot of force. Considering a bear can run over 30 mph and they are probably charging you from a distance of 100 feet or less, you don't have time for it to bleed out from 5.7 wounds.

        [–]ClassyAsACastle 1 point2 points ago

        Not particularly. The 5.7mm is a cartridge specialized in being very light, very fast, and very pointy: all key traits in penetrating a layer of soft body armor, but also ones which don't create particularly large or deep wound channels. Bears are big, with organs protected behind a lot of dense meat and bones. When they attack, it tends to be because you surprised them -- and that puts you within 10 meters. From alarm to charge, that's barely enough time to draw and fire. You'll only get a few shots off, so they need to count, and they need to not be dependent upon being a bad enough dude to hit the bear's head. For these purposes the Five-seveN is effectively the same deal as what you would get from any .45 ACP or 9mm autoloader.

        10mm, .40 S&W, and .357 mag all are better potential anti-bear rounds, if still not ones I'd like to rely on for that encounter (bear spray is probably a better choice). If you're set on carrying, this is the only reason besides "they're fun" for things like the .500 S&W to exist; if you have the spare $1,200 for a Five-seveN you can even afford one.

        [–]h4xesdenied -1 points0 points ago

        Some have killed bears with .22 LR. Some have killed bears with .44 lever-actions. Most would get hurt before being able to draw, aim, and fire. If i were to have a handgun for bear-killing purposes, i would use a Five-seveN only for its capacity and lack of recoil: any shot not to the head would never be a killing blow, and would only serve to annoy the bear. Even a .44 Magnum, .454 casull, or .500 S&W would do very little to a bear's thick hide and many inches of protective muscle and fat. A human has next to no flesh around its ribcage to protect vital organs and very few inches to protect arteries. It also has no protection at the neck area. A bear? You need to punch through half a foot or more of dense muscle to get anywhere near a vital area. Best go for the head and pray.

        [–]Ting413 -1 points0 points ago

        Exactly, a rifle round in a pistol can work wonders.

        [–]h4xesdenied 0 points1 point ago

        Yeah, i could likely fire off 10 rounds from a low-caliber, low-kick weapon like the Five-seveN or even a Glock 17 in the same time i could land two from a hunting-caliber handgun. Deer-hunting, not bear-hunting, mind now. A headshot would stop the bear dead in its tracks, while a flesh wound (and you wont get too much more on a bear charging at you - its organs arent even exposed, all you can hit is head or legs, or get a poorly-angled shot at its back) would only serve to irritate it. The bear might die in the next hour, or day or week, but we need it dead PRONTO, so a headshot needs to happen regardless, and its easier to do with a low caliber weapon. The Five-seveN's rifle-like rounds also have a higher chance of penetrating the bear's skull, where typical pistol rounds might just ricochet.

        [–]Ting413 0 points1 point ago

        Yeah, given the low recoil and power of the bullet I think that you would be able to squeeze off 2-3 rounds into the head and it would be done for. If you used a s&w 500 you would get maybe 1 shot if you are lucky because of the sheer recoil. And if you miss you might as well just turn the gun on yourself.

        [–]farmthis 0 points1 point ago

        Regardless of what round it is, you do not aim for the head of a charging brown bear, you aim for the shoulder.

        [–]h4xesdenied 0 points1 point ago

        Im not following the logic here. I understand that a round to the shoulder has the ability to cripple the bear, but i figure you have the same odds of hitting the head as the shoulder (both are roughly the same size and moving at the same speed). Why not aim for the head and get the headshot, or if a miss, you hit the shoulder anyways? I have no experience of course, just speculation.

        [–]farmthis 0 points1 point ago

        Bears have extremely thick skulls in the front which can deflect shots, even from high-powered rifles. The odds of killing a bear by shooting it in the front of its head with a small pistol are woefully low.

        Though, shooting it anywhere else with a small pistol is equally hopeless. Don't think 9mm is going to destroy it's shoulder like 300 win mag would.

        [–]h4xesdenied 0 points1 point ago

        Ah, i just figured the round to the head from rifle-type rounds would penetrate while pistol-type rounds would ricochet. Wouldnt the amount of energy being transferred give the bear massive trauma, even if no penetration occured?

        [–]Ninjatertl 20 points21 points ago

        then you have an angry bear that wants revenge. not a good combination

        [–]Kaiju_Hamster 11 points12 points ago

        Well honestly, I would rather attack a bear's sense of smell and vision than his durability and resistance to pain.

        [–]Jaerdo 0 points1 point ago

        You spray it in a cloud in their path. They go through it and dont associate the discomfort with you.

        [–]parker214 11 points12 points ago

        tl;dr: if you're slow, don't go to Alaska

        [–]Acies 2 points3 points ago

        Since running triggers a chase response in bears, the slowest person in the group is probably the safest.

        [–]ThatCoolBlackGuy 10 points11 points ago

        i don't think that works like you think it does.

        [–]Acies 0 points1 point ago

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_bear_attacks_in_North_America

        Matayoshi and his wife were hiking the Wapiti Lake Trail, and came upon a mother grizzly bear in an open meadow. The couple began to walk away, and the bear charged. After attempting to run away, Matayoshi was fatally bitten and clawed. Matayoshi's wife hid behind a tree, was lifted from the ground by the bear, and dropped. She played dead, and the bear left the area. She was not injured.

        That pattern repeats itself pretty consistently in brown bear attacks on parties. And the bear will often go for the slowest person, but they usually don't kill them. Instead they get distracted by the others that are still running, and go for them. Running is the worst thing you can do if you encounter a bear, and being the fastest person just means you'll likely be the last one distracting the bear from everyone else.

        [–]ThatCoolBlackGuy 0 points1 point ago

        But in you first comment you suggested that the slowest RUNNER would be the safest.

        [–]Acies 0 points1 point ago

        Yes. Because they get caught first, and the bear then turns to the remaining runners.

        [–]ThatCoolBlackGuy 0 points1 point ago

        Now you're just trolling.

        [–]Acies 0 points1 point ago

        Nope. Bears are at least twice as fast as people and tend to switch targets, as this incident indicates. If you can find this book at a library or somewhere and read it, it's the best book currently on the market.

        http://books.google.com/books?id=gFlz6UKGqrcC&lpg=PP1&dq=bear+attacks&pg=PR13&hl=en#v=onepage&q&f=false

        [–]ThatCoolBlackGuy 0 points1 point ago

        I do know that you have a sense about what you are talking about. But are you serious? Their is a group of let's say 5 people attacked by a bear they all start running the slowest gets caught by the bear , according to what you are saying that person would be left unharmed or the least harmed of the whole group. That does not make sense what so ever. You are placing your bet on the fact that sometimes bears tend to change targets when they already caught one person... as if they where playing tag or something.

        [–]sandforthewin 1 point2 points ago

        Not of at least one person in the group runs.

        [–]mikehayes 1 point2 points ago

        Or just use a large gun

        [–]nitefang 5 points6 points ago

        My favorite is when someone asks what caliber hand gun do you need to protect yourself from a grizzly. You respond with "It really doesn't matter what caliber you use, just make sure you file down the sight on the front of the barrel." They ask "Why?" You: "That way it won't hurt so much when the bear shoves it up your ass."

        I like that joke.

        [–]quickgold192 1 point2 points ago

        Well, apparently a Ruger Alaskan works.

        [–]irish56_ak 0 points1 point ago

        There is way too much evidence and testimony about real world encounters for you to say bear spray doesn't work. It does. For those without a sufficient caliber firearm and/or the proficiency to use it under duress, bear spray is better than a weapon.

        I carry it while fishing and have it sitting out where anyone can get to it quickly at camp. It doesn't replace the .44 Mag, but given the option I would probably use the spray first.

        [–]Jaerdo 0 points1 point ago

        Bear spray works if you use it properly. Dont spray at the bear, spray in the path of the bear. That way it doesn't associate it with you.

        That being said the best defense against bears is travelling in a group and making noise. Always carry bear bells.

        [–]McGinge 13 points14 points ago

        i gotta say thats one interresting name you got there

        [–]HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYA[S] 23 points24 points ago

        You are now forever engulfed.

        [–]NotaMethAddict 15 points16 points ago

        I know what that is and I'm not clicking it. I don't want that stuck in my head.

        [–]whathefuckisreddit 9 points10 points ago

        AND SO I CRY SOMETIMES WHEN I'M LYING IN BED

        [–]EnderBro11 1 point2 points ago

        JUST TO GET IT ALL OUT, WHAT'S IN MY HEAD

        [–]nwestnine 3 points4 points ago

        I clicked it. I've had an erection for a couple hours now and still going strong.

        [–]nwestnine 0 points1 point ago

        When it was over, I had to call my doctor.

        [–]deadbonbon 5 points6 points ago

        DAMN YOU HINDSIGHT!!!

        [–]Greflin 2 points3 points ago

        I love this song. When the normal version comes on the radio I can't help but sing this.

        [–]killer4u77 1 point2 points ago

        Heyyeyaaeyaaaeyaeyaa is my all time favorite video. Ever.

        [–]DagMT 11 points12 points ago

        This kind of reminds me of a story. A pair of hikers were talking to a ranger in Glacier Park about bears and safety in the woods. They were showing off their bear bells and their bear spray and they asked, "How do you tell the difference between black bear and grizzly poop?" The ranger answered, "Well, the black bear poop is smaller and has berries in it. The grizzly poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper."

        [–]wutanggrenade 3 points4 points ago

        A handgun is a restricted weapon in Canada, he would be breaking the law by carrying it around and by discharging it.

        Also, looking at the size of that barrel, it is probably prohibited.

        NO FUN ALLOWED!

        [–]socalnonsage 28 points29 points ago

        RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:

        [–]__TheLastDodo__ 2 points3 points ago

        OP, what's goin on?

        [–]epgenius 7 points8 points ago

        AND I SAY HEYYEYAAEYAAEYAEYA! I SAY HEY! STOP POSTING THIS!

        [–]littlemeekboy 3 points4 points ago

        I SAID HEY! WHAT'S GOIN OOOONNN! Nice username

        [–]HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYA[S] 4 points5 points ago

        Thanks friendo! Wanna jam for 10 hours?

        [–]littlemeekboy 1 point2 points ago

        Do I want to jam for 10 hours... FUCK YES I WANNA JAM FOR TEN HOURS

        [–]CervantesX 5 points6 points ago

        This is truth. Whenever I come across hikers carrying guns to protect themselves, I just laugh. It might work for an enraged squirrel, or maybe a slightly annoyed red fox, but trying to shoot a moose or a bear? Unless you're hiking with a large calibre shotgun on your back, you're better off throwing rocks, or better yet, cover yourself in ketchup and hope it means the bear eats you quick instead of slow. Mace/bear spray is the only thing that has a chance of saving your ass. After that, it's just trying to be the second slowest person in your group.

        [–]psyko_huh 8 points9 points ago

        I agree with this to an extent, but of person carrying said gun knows how to use it, I've seen someone take down a good sized bear with a .22 and my grandfather has hunted with a guy that killed a massive hog with a .22 in Africa. I imagine a shot to the soft part of skull right below ears with any caliber except pellet gun would kill a bear too.

        [–]ItsTheFeds 12 points13 points ago

        The problem is that there just isn't time to take a well placed shot when a bear is charging you.

        [–]farmthis 0 points1 point ago

        Are you sure you don't mean .223? Or .22 magnum?

        [–]Wallgirl 7 points8 points ago

        i can tell by your phrasing ("large calibre shotgun") that you know a lot about guns and you know what you are talking about.

        [–]CervantesX 1 point2 points ago

        Actually, I had typed large calibre rifle, then changed it to shotgun and forgot to delete the rest of it. Because even with a decently sized rifle I wouldn't want to go up against a charging bear or moose. A heavy gauge shotgun would be my choice, if I had one. I still highly doubt that anything short of a military trained shot would have a snowballs chance in hell. It's easy to say "just shoot em in the x" when you're shooting targets or standing in the safety of a blind, but when a few thousand pounds of raging animal is twenty feet away and closing quick, there aren't many people who can unholster, aim and fire, and successfully hit a specific few inches on several square feet of moving animal, within the five or so seconds that you have between discovery and contact.

        load more comments (4 replies)

          [–]Rebootkid 4 points5 points ago

          I disagree. Camping in the Emigrant gap wilderness, one idiot in our group decided to take pictures of a bear cub. Momma was not happy about the interloper.

          The first 9mm shot went into the ground. Momma and baby both scattered.

          Granted, I had a 30-30 ready to go if it was needed. (Less than ideal, I know, but it's what I had) Also, these were California bear. Smaller, more skittish.

          [–]CervantesX 1 point2 points ago

          In this case, you're using the gun as a slightly heavier bear banger, not a gun.

          [–]hillesheim1992 0 points1 point ago

          They're versatile tools.

          [–]CervantesX 1 point2 points ago

          Tried opening a beer with one once. It technically worked. Just not efficiently.

          [–]hillesheim1992 0 points1 point ago

          You're supposed to aim it upwards and hit the edge of the cap with it.

          [–]Rebootkid 0 points1 point ago

          I was using the 9mm as a the bear banger. The 30-30 to drop her if things didn't got the way I hoped.

          I pulled the pistol, shot the ground, dropped it and brought the carbine up and chambered a round. All the while shouting, "you fucking idiot, get out of there!"

          [–]CrazyBoxLady 0 points1 point ago

          Im not the most knowledgeable on bear science, but things would probably have gone south if the cub hadn't been there. Mama will run to protect her baby instead of risking you hurting it.

          [–]Rebootkid 1 point2 points ago

          Maybe true, maybe not. However, if the cub wasn't there, then she wouldn't have gotten upset for the idiot getting in the middle.

          Side note, I really WANTED to shoot said idiot, but my sister was dating him at the time, and I didn't want to have to dig a shallow grave.

          [–]CrazyBoxLady 0 points1 point ago

          I'm picturing California bears being really chill and smoking a lot of weed.

          [–]ItsTheFeds 1 point2 points ago

          A Ruger Super Redhawk Alaskan chambered in 454 Casull will certainly stop a bear if it's hit in the central nervous system. Hell, loaded with a 360 grain hardcast lead bullet, it will pass through and through.

          [–]farmthis 1 point2 points ago

          For black bear, fine. Maybe typical brown bears if you like living on the wild side.

          But not for the coastal brown bears here in Alaska. There are three common gun choices that cut it for protecting oneself from ABC bears, and that's 3" slugs out of a 12 gauge, 300 win mag, modern 45-70. 30-06 if you want to skimp.

          Sure, a lucky shot in the... "central nervous system" will kill a bear... but you should know better than to aim for the head. If the bear is charging you, the head is down. The skull is extremely thick, and has a habit of deflecting bullets. Sure, it tears part of its face off, but it doesn't kill it.

          You're supposed to aim for the shoulders. Destroy the bear's shoulder joint, and it will tumble and fall, stopping it mid-charge. Then you kill it.

          [–]okeefm 0 points1 point ago

          Technically it will work better if it doesn't pass through, since that means it hasn't expended all its energy on the target.

          [–]irish56_ak 0 points1 point ago

          That works when you have time to place a shot. When shooting under duress at short range where time is a factor you want a large caliber, heavy bullet that won't fragment when hitting bone or expand much meeting resistance. As the guy who hand loaded my 'bear rounds' said, you want it to break whatever it hits and keep going to break something else. If it goes in his head you hope it comes out his ass.

          I carry a 12 ga. when hiking or camping (along with spray), but while fishing a long gun is not practicle- it'll end up leaning against a tree on the shore while you are fishing in knee deep water. For that I have a S&W .44 mag with hand loaded flat nose hard cast bullets loaded to max pressures the Smith with safely handle.

          [–]CervantesX 0 points1 point ago

          If you can draw, aim, and hit the specific few square inches on the few square feet of charging thousand pounds of animal, within the five second window you usually have between discovery and contact, while trying not to piss yourself, yes, you might have a chance. The other 99% of the time you're a snack.

          [–]KincSoup 0 points1 point ago

          They actually do make large-caliber, compact revolvers for dealing with bears.

          [–]farmthis 0 points1 point ago

          I wouldn't trust one. "compact" means shortened barrel. The shorter the barrel, the more potential removed from the cartridge.

          .357 magnum and .44 magnum are acceptable for black bear, however.

          [–]coast_transplant 0 points1 point ago

          The .500 S&W has a "survival" 2-inch version with orange grips. It may be a bit slower, and with a demon of a muzzle flash, but still........

          [–]farmthis 0 points1 point ago

          It can't compare to a rifle, and a 2-inch barrel take away about 50% of the energy the bullet COULD have had with longer acceleration.

          For example, a ruger LCR double action revolver chambered in .357 magnum manages to put less energy into a slug than your average 9mm parabellum.

          Throwing .500 S&W into a severely chopped down "survival" pistol will bring down its effectiveness up to be comparable to a much weaker round out of a full-length barrel.

          [–]Hornell 0 points1 point ago

          Well, in Alberta the chances of you having a handgun are very slim so it's a moot point.

          [–]CervantesX 0 points1 point ago

          True, I personally don't have one, but there's a lot of tourists who hit the rockies who think it's just fine to bring theirs along. I no longer wear my bear bell for bears, I wear it for jumpy tourists.

          [–]amuhammed82393 1 point2 points ago

          /r/forwardsfromgrandma

          [–]blr6183 2 points3 points ago

          a gd repost. pay attention people stop upvoting the same stuff over and over.

          [–]homeless_man_jogging 1 point2 points ago

          Obviously a lot of people haven't seen it before.

          [–]francolol 0 points1 point ago

          FALSE YOU CANNOT BEAR FIREARMS IN ALBERTA.

          [–]eyereport 3 points4 points ago

          FALSE! Black Bear.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctTVcKNx8Rk

          [–]Sydviciouz 5 points6 points ago

          Bears. Beats. Battlestar Galactica.

          [–]electronicarms 5 points6 points ago

          Well that's Debatable.

          [–]xukano 1 point2 points ago

          Hi, have you been to the Stampede yet?

          [–]francolol 0 points1 point ago

          those are hunting guns/rifles which are allowed, having a hand gun is illegal in canada.

          [–]xukano 0 points1 point ago

          I was jokingly referencing this.

          [–]emann43 0 points1 point ago

          Remind me not to venture any further north of Edmonton for a hike.

          [–]schoocher 1 point2 points ago

          A friend that runs slower than you?

          [–]takiama 0 points1 point ago

          Well that didn't quite go where I was expecting

          [–]SquareBanks 1 point2 points ago

          I live in Alaska, and enjoy to hunt and fish whenever possible. Encountering bears is a natural part of living in Alaska. My dad always used to say "I don't need to be faster than the bear...just faster than you." Haha.

          [–][deleted] ago

          [deleted]

          [–]rasterbee 0 points1 point ago

          I was surprised when it was revealed there was a third person filming.

          Then surprised again to see the whole group at the end.

          Now I'm surprised she didn't give them all a go.

          Dogs included.

          [–]ooyads 1 point2 points ago

          This is me riding off on my dinosaur

          [–]bostonsoxandy 0 points1 point ago

          Forever Alone: I'm dead then.

          [–]icecoldmonkeys 0 points1 point ago

          what's one thing you need in a bear attack? A girlfriend.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

          A bear.

          [–]Treebiter 0 points1 point ago

          A slow friend.

          [–]adamantinefox 0 points1 point ago

          Is that what you want? invincible bears running around, raping your churches, burning your women.

          [–]snap_wilson 0 points1 point ago

          Wrong. The answer is you need a bear.

          [–]rednuck 0 points1 point ago

          You can't carry a pistol in Canada unless you have a trappers permit this is false!

          [–]dwightmoody 0 points1 point ago

          Tons of lube

          [–]hailasia 0 points1 point ago

          Lmao redditors don't have girlfriends!

          [–]tbucket94 1 point2 points ago

          How the fuck do you remember your user name?

          [–]Assistantshrimp -1 points0 points ago

          hmm, I feel like I've seen this before.... Oh right! When my grandpa emailed it to me..... Like a year ago.

          [–]drcazes 1 point2 points ago

          I touch my dick. Then i explode

          [–]HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYA[S] 2 points3 points ago

          Let's do this!

          [–]whodeyraider 0 points1 point ago

          Pretty sure this exact scenario played out on AMC's The Walking Dead.

          [–]Krysk_ 0 points1 point ago

          upvote for epic name.

          [–]SSaint 0 points1 point ago

          Yes but OP, What's goin on?

          [–][deleted] ago

          [deleted]

          [–]SSaint 1 point2 points ago

          SO I WAKE IN THE MORNING AND I STEP OUTSIDE, AND I TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND I GET REAL HIGH AND AYAYAYAYAY

          [–]Gate-Way-Drugs 0 points1 point ago

          Wow, this reminds me of when i got down voted to oblivion for saying hand guns should not be prohibited in ontario for this vary reason.

          [–]czoey11 0 points1 point ago

          Best. Username. Ever.

          [–]Racheltheredditor98 1 point2 points ago

          Dat username.

          [–]SHEePYTaGGeRNeP -1 points0 points ago

          OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

          [–]momster 0 points1 point ago

          We always say you just need to be faster than your friend, then it's all good.

          [–]futureisscrupulous 0 points1 point ago

          Fun fact: That's the gun Mr. Orange had in his ankle holster in Reservoir Dogs.

          [–]punwasintended 0 points1 point ago

          if you ever encounter a bear, all you need to do is make sure you have beets and battlestar galactica. everything should turn out fine.

          [–]darkain13 0 points1 point ago

          I used to be a hiker like you but then I took a bullet on... Oh f*ck it... I hate myself now.

          [–]sweetmercy 0 points1 point ago

          My dad used to always tell us kids, "You don't need to outrun the bear, just the guy next to you."

          [–]texasarena 0 points1 point ago

          I prefer drawing a circle in the sand ala spongebob

          [–]JeremyTheMVP 0 points1 point ago

          Thought the answer was an erection.

          [–]marcelix 0 points1 point ago

          reminds me of the time i was in a burning building, and i took the only working fire extinguisher on my floor and ate it.

          [–]RockinMouth 1 point2 points ago

          BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAH

          [–]SCOTTGIANT 1 point2 points ago

          I asked an old guy from Montana one time if my .45 would take down a grizzly.. he suggested that I should file my front sights down first.. so that it hurts less when the bear takes it from me and shoves it up my ass!

          [–]pwnzor4ever 1 point2 points ago

          DAT USERNAME

          [–]dan013 -1 points0 points ago

          You complain about reposts all the time Reddit, yet you still upvote them to the front page.

          [–]LETS_PLAY_SANDWICH -1 points0 points ago

          "two small"??

          [–]Stingerr 0 points1 point ago

          Repost

          [–]Vranak -2 points-1 points ago

          Misogyny, misanthropy, gallows humour... yup this should make it to front page.

          [–]bowlforthedude 2 points3 points ago

          How is this misogynistic?

          [–]blackedout -1 points0 points ago

          BECAUSE LORD VRANAK HAS A VAGINA AND HAS LABELED IT AS SUCH!

          Behold! The disenfranchised feminist: Always searching for a cause!

          [–]Vranak -1 points0 points ago

          The guy shot his 'girlfriend' to be eaten by a bear. Obviously not a fan of women as anything other than a sex partner.

          [–]Keldrath 3 points4 points ago

          I'm sure he valued her for her sandwich making capabilities as well.

          Now he's hungry and has no one to make him a sandwich, I bet he's mourning his loss.

          [–]voxxy 0 points1 point ago

          That...or it's a FUCKING BEAR!

          [–]eyereport 1 point2 points ago

          A cat would actually be pretty useful. Just throw the cat at the bear.

          Two birds, one stone.

          [–]Kinetik_Inferno 0 points1 point ago

          that looks a HELL of a lot like the pistol from tf2.

          [–]bloiscool1 0 points1 point ago

          Yay! The bear is safe!

          [–]Khoffman95 0 points1 point ago

          Thanks to your username I now have the most annoying song stuck in my head. I worked so hard to forget that and now... Its back.

          [–]yentlequible 2 points3 points ago

          Annoying? That song gives me eargasms.

          load more comments (7 replies)

            [–]drakmordis -1 points0 points ago

            Balls of steel

            [–]theywerehitting 0 points1 point ago

            Just handed the tablet around the circle and we all shared a giggle at this. Thanks :)

            load more comments (16 replies)

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