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1191

Louie's parties must be great (imgur.com)

submitted ago by Flanimals

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[–]DIP_MY_BALLS_IN_IT 89 points90 points ago

You fuck in the shower. Or on a towel. Real simple.

Never let a little blood get in the way of sexing.

[–]local_redditor 9 points10 points ago

One time the Ex and I forgot the towel part...the Red Sea decided to relocate on my bed.

[–]Skyline969 19 points20 points ago

Have sex on white sheets... end up with Japanese flag.

[–]local_redditor 3 points4 points ago

They are yellow, whats that make it?

[–]Skyline969 12 points13 points ago

Faded Japanese flag from 50+ years ago?

[–]local_redditor 5 points6 points ago

Or maybe a really old letter with my ex's seal on it!? It was slap in the middle of my bed too, thank fucking science hydrogen peroxide will get fresh blood out.

[–]Skyline969 4 points5 points ago

And cold water, not hot. But I'm sure that your ex could tell you that considering she's got years of experience with blood stains.

EDIT: If it had clots, it could probably be represented as an old letter with her seal on it.

[–]local_redditor 2 points3 points ago

There were clots, she started during. But yeah, I was at a complete loss, my parents were in the next room and it was mid afternoon so they could have come in there for any reason at any time. She ordered me around like a drill sergeant and we got dat mess cleaned up just before dinner.

[–]bluefish211 4 points5 points ago

Perfectly said.

[–]chucka82 20 points21 points ago

AND relevant user name.

[–]whatbrighteyes 3 points4 points ago

You're my hero.

Nothing helps the cramping better than a good orgasm.

[–]FortBriggs 1 point2 points ago

Nothing like a good fucking. Period.

When mine happens, I finally understand how my cat feels when she's in heat.

[–]Meghan90 0 points1 point ago

Username certainly related

[–]4Chan_Plumber 58 points59 points ago

Louis CK is a fucking liar

[–]TAA420 26 points27 points ago

Like Louis CK is going to believe a user named "4Chan_Plumber" is a 40 year old woman.

[–]sarcaster632 8 points9 points ago

A lie about parties is a lie not soon forgotten.

[–]fluggelhorn 14 points15 points ago

I'm fine with all of this until the "I'll drink the blood" part. I don't mind getting a little grossness on my junk but there is no way I'm going to let it close to my mouth.

[–]d1rtfarm 31 points32 points ago

Tastes the same as a mouthful of pennies. No big deal.

[–]kentuckypill 42 points43 points ago

Read that as penises at first. Probably a different taste.

[–]headwrong 3 points4 points ago

Ok, it tastes likes bloody penises.

[–]Pykoh 1 point2 points ago

A bag of dicks?

[–]maniacal_paradox 0 points1 point ago

Do you take a bag of dicks and suck it... like, suck the side of the bag?

[–]stiverino 7 points8 points ago

Oh god.

[–]HyperSpaz 4 points5 points ago

With a chance of meatballs.

[–]bejfever 0 points1 point ago

just when you thought it couldn't get any worse :(

[–]Zandrel 4 points5 points ago

Jolly Rancher

[–]FortBriggs 1 point2 points ago

NNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOO!

Added: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iabC7-9YUG4

[–]connorblikre 2 points3 points ago

yeah it's not like a waterfall in there or something

[–]alcakd 0 points1 point ago

I CAN TASTE IT. AHHHHHHHHH.

[–]lurveloaveluff 1 point2 points ago

Even if a guy was willing to have sex during my period (yay!) I would never have the heart to ask to go down on me during my period. If I wouldn't do it, he shouldn't have to do it either.

That being said, period sex is very nicely lubricated at least...

[–]ace9213 7 points8 points ago

A little extra lubricant never hurt no one.

[–]Silver_Foxx 17 points18 points ago

Real men have their Red Wings!

[–]tlivingd 3 points4 points ago

A wise man once told me "You can swim in the bloody river; Just don't drink from it."

[–]youreawizardsam 5 points6 points ago

"Fuck yeah, you're a fucking faggot if you don't fuck her while she's on her period."

Scrolls to another article about a girl starting her period while she's getting eaten out

"Fuck that's disgusting."

[–]cvntagion 7 points8 points ago

He's coming to my town soon...I'll marry him if he lets me..

[–]bottom_of_the_well 0 points1 point ago

He's got shell shock from his last marriage. Don't think he's eager to head off to battle again...

[–]Mel-Syd 0 points1 point ago

Tell?

[–]cvntagion 0 points1 point ago

Let a girl have hopes! Dang!

[–]PixelPizza -1 points0 points ago

Unlocked! MEDAL: The Red Wang of Courage

[–]strawberrybetty 0 points1 point ago

Riding the red wave... Good on Louis.

[–]Sik_muse 0 points1 point ago

Lay a towel down and get to business. This was very relevant to my night.

[–]ifonlyeverybody 1 point2 points ago

Always a standup guy.

[–]calonto -2 points-1 points ago

is there a video?

[–]Dudemate 2 points3 points ago

All his shows are on Youtube. Watch them!

[–]Josher1959 1 point2 points ago

What show is this? I've seen quite a few of his shows but I don't remember this joke.

[–]calonto 4 points5 points ago

I've seen a few - never this joke though. Pretty. damn. funny. gross.

[–]seethesquirrel -1 points0 points ago

It think it is from from Louis' Hilarious stand-up album.

Note: His name is Louis but on his TV show his name is Louie which a fictional version of himself. It is confusing.

[–]Facepwner73 -1 points0 points ago

It's still pronounced the same, Louis can be pronounced as loo-e or loo-us. You are right that Louie is a fictional character, but try saying that irl and listen to how stupid you sound.

[–]Lindsaythe 0 points1 point ago

Generally, Louis is pronounced "loo-e", while Lewis is pronounced "Loo-us"

[–]Facepwner73 0 points1 point ago

And? His name is pronounced loo-e.

[–]dlawnro -1 points0 points ago

I always assumed it was a Led Zepplin type thing: deliberately spelling it wrong so that people will pronounce it right.

[–]agobayer -3 points-2 points ago

...wow

[–]george_nunny -4 points-3 points ago

That is disgusting.

[–]grisioco 3 points4 points ago

more sex for the rest of us, then!

[–]pulezan -1 points0 points ago

you have to understand that you'll get downvoted if you hate something other people don't mind. except if it's about spiders. then NOPE. even though they are not dangerous at all. i would personally hold a tarantula in my hand before eating out a girl with menstruation but that's just me.

[–]george_nunny 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand why I'm getting voted. Is this guy another one that Reddit arse-licks, and anything said against him is held as blasphemy, and thus will be downvoted into the pits of Hell?

[–]RzK -1 points0 points ago

You spelled Louis's name wrong, go suck a bag of dicks!

[–]pulezan -4 points-3 points ago

What's up with all these screenshots? yes, we've all seen the show, we know what he said. why do we need these?

[–]FortBriggs 10 points11 points ago

I haven't seen the show. I don't know what he said. I need these.

[–]TXDOGaming -2 points-1 points ago

Funny... but a lil messed up at the end o_O

[–]SamElliottsVoice -1 points0 points ago

He does make a pretty good point.

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