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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]RocketSwine 2074 points2075 points ago

So the physics engine is pretty good in Fifa but I guess the chemistry engine is better.

[–]WantToBeHaunted 659 points660 points ago

HEY-O!!!

[–]jacobbsny10 307 points308 points ago

http://www.hiyoooo.com/

Also, spam the button for a chorus of angels.

[–]gheost 54 points55 points ago

I will never stop hitting this button.

[–]Miyelsh 97 points98 points ago

I have a rapid fire button on my mouse and when I pressed it on that button I think my ears exploded.

[–]cuppincayk 259 points260 points ago

*cheater button

[–]Cendeu 82 points83 points ago

That reminds me of the old mario party games and out madcatz controllers.

Back when my family and I played Mario party all of the time, the person with the madcatz controller obviously hated it. Except there was this one minigame. You hit the A button as fast as possible to knock down Thwomps like Dominoes. You had 10 seconds, and for every time you hit A, one was knocked down.

Anyway, the person with the Madcatz originally loved it, since the controller had a turbo button. We tested it, and the Turbo could hit A 114 times in 10 seconds.

Well, I learned a trick to hitting buttons fast in my childhood, and I remember my brother and I playing that minigame. I was all ready, and he turned on turbo. He got 114. I got 131.

So that's how I learned to hit a button 13.1 times per second. I can still do it to this day, but it wears my arm out FAST.

[–]25or6tofour 63 points64 points ago

Jack off more.

[–]Cendeu 17 points18 points ago

Oh, I do. Minimum twice a day.

ninjaedit: I was about 10 years old when this happened, so my arm had less strength. I'm kind of curious about nowadays, being 8 years later.

[–]throwem456710 26 points27 points ago

HEY-O!!

[–]Keegan1 19 points20 points ago

What method do you use? I tense my forearm muscle up so tightly that it causes my fingers to tremor, its got about a 75% hit rate, with I'd say about 15 hits a second.

[–]Cendeu 5 points6 points ago

Yup, pretty much do that. The whole "Tense up your arms so much, that it shivers back and forth".

I have great accuracy, but not the best arm muscles.

[–]Diem480 4 points5 points ago

Wait...are we still talking about hitting buttons? o.0

[–]1000hipsterpoints 5 points6 points ago

I never had a madcatz controller but everyone seems to have hated them. What was so bad about them?

[–]lokisbane 4 points5 points ago

They were cheaply made, and things fell apart quickly.

[–]Cendeu 3 points4 points ago

It was quite a few things combined. First, the triggers sucked. They were stiff, and didn't have the "click" at the end, like the normal ones.

Second, the A button. My god, the A button. It was like a giant button that clicked up and down. You had to use the strength of your entire arm just to click the thing down, and half of the time it got stuck.

I exaggerate about the A button, but it was fucking terrible, let me tell you. It wasn't the nice gliding cushioned pillow that the normal controllers had. It was just clunky as hell.

The B button wasn't placed that greatly, and the grips of the controller were INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. They were ridged, and rubber.

Basically, it was uncomfortable and clunky. Every situation where the normal controller was smooth, the Madcatz wasn't.

Oh, also the joystick was smaller, and made of plastic, not rubber, so your hand slid on it a lot.

[–]Bruce_The_Triple 11 points12 points ago

That's honestly impressive.

If you were a girl and somehow related that to something about hitting your own button 13.1 times per second, this would get so much karma.

[–]charlesragland 3 points4 points ago

This is an important skill to have.

[–]DorfCakes 33 points34 points ago

For others, select the button with tab and hold down enter/return.

[–]DryvBy 11 points12 points ago

O-BEHAVE!

[–]stylushappenstance 2 points3 points ago

abedandtroy.gif

[–]not_aNinja 119 points120 points ago

[–]guitarhero23 22 points23 points ago

why cant i ever think of something this clever...

[–]CptArse 96 points97 points ago

I like where this is going...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJvEgNeU4kQ

[–]ntubaro 14 points15 points ago

That'll keep them out of the goalie's box.

[–]AQUA2 11 points12 points ago

My neighbour actually came over to see what I was laughing so hard at.

[–]Bartain 548 points549 points ago

So gentle.

[–]BrodyApproves 363 points364 points ago

So sensual.

[–]SupermanV2 544 points545 points ago

So gay.

[–]BPKilla 273 points274 points ago

Calvin Klein.

[–]AngryKittehPoo 127 points128 points ago

Yeah. They do seem pretty happy, don't they?

[–]FUCKED-WITH-A-KNIFE 306 points307 points ago

Shhhhh.... let the left hand do the talking.

[–]slightly_inaccurate 89 points90 points ago

Ah see now I knew I was doing it right in middle school

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 14 points15 points ago

Thanks, Uncle Frank!

[–]SupermanV2 16 points17 points ago

NSFC-F-A

[–]Krispyz 84 points85 points ago

Not Safe For Children - Ferret - Alliance.

[–]SupermanV2 20 points21 points ago

Close enough.

[–]Mileskitsune 27 points28 points ago

to r/gaymers i go! (swiper swipes what he wants :3)<the post i mean, im going to xpost it :|

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 1278 points1279 points ago

Carroll's best chance to get it in.

[–]DonGero 197 points198 points ago

Well played, playboy. Andy's scored 11 goals in all competitions for Liverpool, which comes out to about 3,200,000 pounds per goal. Its hard to be a Liverpool fan these days.

[–]SupermanV2 246 points247 points ago

I was trying to figure out how his goals converted to lbs for way too long.

[–]DonGero 138 points139 points ago

Chelsea's paid 4,170,000 for every Torres goal. I feel a little better.

[–]Krypt0night 146 points147 points ago

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[–]MR-CAPSLOCK 93 points94 points ago

What was with Wenger sending in Walcott that early?

[–]gen3ricD 105 points106 points ago

The thing about Arsenal is they always try and walk it in.

[–]bluejacket 4 points5 points ago

the thing about manchester city is that they have Kompany....ow wait...

[–]Nohomobutimgay 92 points93 points ago

That's really, really heavy.

/America

[–]trakam 13 points14 points ago

It's been a tough 20 years.

[–]ynwa1892 7 points8 points ago

This fact makes me sad every day :(

[–]ShartyMcPeePants 23 points24 points ago

Christ the lad is only what? 22?!?! Give him some damn time. Of course he will likely never be a 35 mil pound player, but he has potential to be a very good striker in this league. We saw what he did at Newcastle for half a season. He picked it up towards the end of last season and into Euros. Andy will be fine. I just hope Rodgers gives him a legit chance.

YNWA

[–]FUCKED-WITH-A-KNIFE 45 points46 points ago

He scored all right.

[–]TeBags 14 points15 points ago

I think it was more of a handball.

[–]SupermanV2 707 points708 points ago

[–]fedex09 318 points319 points ago

I love this gif for the mystery. It could be anything.

[–]NBAallstar 80 points81 points ago

It could even be a boat!

[–]enineci 3 points4 points ago

You know how I've always wanted a boat.

[–]delacook 105 points106 points ago

Kobe Bryant reacting to a slam dunk

[–]RunningWithBeer 251 points252 points ago

I think hes talking about the mystery of whats on the card. I've seen many different variations

[–]Zohmbi 110 points111 points ago

Wow, never waited until the end of that gif. I honestly didn't know Kobe help up a sign. I would see the "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," have a good chuckle, then click back.

[–]Canadian_Government 112 points113 points ago

Originally it was a 10, but then some genius bastard put a 6 on it and used it as a reply to mildly humorous things. Then 3, 9, 2, and now upvotes.

The upvote one kinda sucks though. 10 & 6 are best

[–]jack12354 30 points31 points ago

There are an entire 1-10, and they're all really well done.

[–]I_am_ME_ama 33 points34 points ago

why 6?

[–]Canadian_Government 44 points45 points ago

6 because it was so unexpected, and also because Kobe looks super enthusiastic about something that's only mildy amusing.

[–]CtrlAltDemolish 98 points99 points ago

The Canadian Government is really into mediocrity.

Source: Canadian

[–]Forhavu 24 points25 points ago

Oh, sorry.

[–]MikeTheSpike 4 points5 points ago

Think about it.

[–]warox 16 points17 points ago

[–]MCDEV777 136 points137 points ago

[–]SupermanV2 78 points79 points ago

First rule of gif club.

[–]FoxBattalion79 59 points60 points ago

my favorite. I love how degrading it is.

[–]MikeTheSpike 49 points50 points ago

I like the idea that some redditor was looking through hours of stock footage, came upon this, and said to himself, "Hmm.... I could stick an upvote in there."

[–]Alphaeno 17 points18 points ago

I make my own

[–]Replies_With_GIFs 85 points86 points ago

[–]Plaisantin 10 points11 points ago

horrifying

[–]SupermanV2 18 points19 points ago

On the internet.

[–]HelloJapan 72 points73 points ago

[–]Gomezaki 96 points97 points ago

So Andy Carroll can score?

[–]reese_ridley 914 points915 points ago

[–]SupermanV2 117 points118 points ago

I'm going to have nightmares about this gif.

[–]gnarlyRG 246 points247 points ago

[–]spankymuffin 58 points59 points ago

Well take a look at a pleasant, non-disturbing gif, for a change!

You're welcome!

[–]RelaxRelapse 42 points43 points ago

I don't know what's worse.. The fact I'm not bothered by this, or that I've seen the video it's from in its entirety.

[–]Lawlmylife 6 points7 points ago

You mean this clip or the whole movie?

[–]Mandena 20 points21 points ago

wat

[–]swrdswllngwhr 18 points19 points ago

[–]GreenTeam 14 points15 points ago

but that was really disturbing.

[–]SupermanV2 61 points62 points ago

I hate you.

[–]mightyenano 17 points18 points ago

Here, this will calm you down.

[–]lesser_panjandrum 44 points45 points ago

[–]Zalkareos 51 points52 points ago

I kept waiting for a creepy-ass face to pop out

[–]hakushonan 86 points87 points ago

[–]GamerKat 69 points70 points ago

For those who need a palate cleanser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8

[–]Bucky_Ohare 83 points84 points ago

Ok, this far into this game, I'm not opening a youtube link.

[–]s4md4130 25 points26 points ago

Don't worry, I checked it out. It's clean.

[–]GamerKat 17 points18 points ago

Mine is surprise kitty :)

[–]dandeeznugs 8 points9 points ago

boy do I feel bad for you. I'm gonna have the best dreams ever!!

[–]NovaMouser 22 points23 points ago

There's a special place in hell for people like you. Hopefully that jump rope girl is there too.

[–]Huge_Jackmen 18 points19 points ago

god damn it.

[–]rvm4488 61 points62 points ago

My reaction if I ever saw that shit IRL

[–]thisisnotmyrealsnyo 50 points51 points ago

IRL you should start the running part sooner.

[–]cfuse 32 points33 points ago

[–]StockPhotosOfFruit 4 points5 points ago

3/10. Would seem fitting in place of the Snow White one.

[–]caseycour 12 points13 points ago

what is this from?

[–]delsombra 16 points17 points ago

Well... I didn't need to sleep tonight.

[–]voyaging 16 points17 points ago

fake and not scary and lame and im not scared and fake

[–]Fatally_Flawed 10 points11 points ago

Ronaldo is nightmare inducing as it is, but this takes the cake.

[–]WATUP_BRAH 235 points236 points ago

[–]CornyCotton 42 points43 points ago

Oh my god my stomach hurts.....shit

[–]timothygruich 14 points15 points ago

Fun fact: your stomach can't actually digest semen. So all that cum is just floating around inside of you.

[–]swicken 12 points13 points ago

I hate you, you made the funny stop.

[–]Olpainless 16 points17 points ago

I could only read this as the moon from The Mighty Boosh.

[–]speedpop 17 points18 points ago

You owe me a new keyboard.

[–]pineyfusion 38 points39 points ago

Good ol' Soccer QWOP

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]USMutantNinjaTurtles 62 points63 points ago

For anyone wondering, this was after Portugal lost against Spain on penalties at Euro 2012 semi-final, and Ronaldo was the #5 penalty shooter but did not get a chance to take it.

He is saying "É injustiça" (it's unfair).

[–]carolzzzinha2 13 points14 points ago

wow, portuguese is my mother language and even I thought he was saying "the jews did this" lol. Cannot unsee O.O

[–]gormster 275 points276 points ago

oh my god can't breathe

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 436 points437 points ago

[–]NBAallstar 388 points389 points ago

It's like watching a man reevaluate his entire life.

[–]mparrish6001 215 points216 points ago

that is the face of a man battling with his inner monologue

[–]NBAallstar 191 points192 points ago

I did not like that one bit... right?

[–]Runemaker 102 points103 points ago

Or...do I?

[–]enjoytheshow 71 points72 points ago

[–]NBAallstar 26 points27 points ago

Hmmm, quite - nsfw

[–]donttaxmyfatstacks 15 points16 points ago

She looks oddly like a female version of him..

[–]fuckinDEAD 7 points8 points ago

god DAMN

[–]Jumin 3 points4 points ago

I imagine he'd have the conversation in a fashion similar to this guy's

[–]DrumZildjian71 35 points36 points ago

Sits up... Contemplates life.

[–]pomdecouer 63 points64 points ago

this gif had me laughing out loud. i love how he looks down afterwards, like "fuck, man..."

[–]SoobNauce 36 points37 points ago

[–]neTed 67 points68 points ago

[–]neTed 180 points181 points ago

[–]dnvsasm 48 points49 points ago

That version always gets me

[–]4z01235 6 points7 points ago

How have I never encountered this before!? This is great!

[–]AbanoMex 18 points19 points ago

wtf is that from

[–]thrwwyy 148 points149 points ago

soccer

[–]DrHenryPym 105 points106 points ago

It's pretty obvious because they're on the ground doing nothing.

[–]ChaosDesigned 1 point2 points ago

I've seen you around quiet a bit not only today but within the last week. For not being a novelty account, you sure do frequent the same subs as I. Take this upvote your your journey. See you around.

[–]kdpha 17 points18 points ago

Get to a doctor, man.

[–]timmmmmm 6 points7 points ago

Don't tell him his business, devil woman.

[–]RenderedInGooseFat 4 points5 points ago

Call the fire department. This ones out of control.

[–]MerkZuckerberg 25 points26 points ago

Holy crap that's one of the funniest GIFs I've ever seen and completely unexpected.

[–]Vranak 13 points14 points ago

uh wut... is going on there

[–]oobey 10 points11 points ago

It's a gif from one of the Silent Hill games. 2, I think?

[–]sheerheartattack 51 points52 points ago

[–]Agent00funk 60 points61 points ago

Although I have seen this before, it makes me laugh every time.

Just the way his facial expression changes from straining, to surprise, to shock, then disbelief, then inner reflection, and finally followed by sadness. Fuck soccer, this guy should go into acting with that kind of range.

[–]MikeTheSpike 10 points11 points ago

We're posting gifs, man, not youtube links. How long you think my attention span is?

[–]yodawgiherd 17 points18 points ago

i can't help but feel the same confusion as he would in that situation

every...single...time

[–]The_One_Above_All 242 points243 points ago

You have unlocked the Homosexuality Achievement

[–]CarnePopsicle 430 points431 points ago

Score on your own team.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 67 points68 points ago

Any hole is a goal.

[–]admiralgringo 40 points41 points ago

Make a pass for dat ass

[–]CUNTBERT_RAPINGTON 6 points7 points ago

if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit.

[–]Crixusiago 166 points167 points ago

Fuck you, I can't come up with clever shit like that.

[–]m0use44 87 points88 points ago

pity karma

[–]thatguydan01 123 points124 points ago

"I... I can't hold back my true feelings for you."

"But right here? On the field? Why now?"

"Now is a better time then ever, so shut up and kiss me."

[–]De-Ja-Poo 139 points140 points ago

As their testosterone fuelled bodies intertwined with one another, Lukasz carefully sweeps Andy's long dark locks behind his ears.

"JA będę numer sześć jeśli przez mój numer dziewięć " (I will be your number six, if you be my number 9) The Polish keeper whispered.

" well aye man " Andy grunted, his poor northern education wasn't about to stop him from unleashing his frustration in front of a shocked unsuspecting crowd of 60,000.

[–]ToasterforHire 41 points42 points ago

go on ...

[–]De-Ja-Poo 78 points79 points ago

Lukasz slowly peels his gloves off "I want to know what 35 Million pound feels like" He purrs, Andy smiles as if being presented with a bottle of Newcastle brown.

As his hands glide up Andy's body with more grace than when he flaps at crosses, Andy pulls his shirt up over his head.

His ponytail rippling in the collective gasp from the crowd as they kiss passionately, Andy pulls Lukasz's hands down his shorts "Try not to drop these balls"

[–]brake_for_pie 21 points22 points ago

Dear lord, I almost spit alcohol all over my phone. Thank you so much for making me laugh; it's been a shit day for me thus far.

*and to add to this, my first thought at the op was "damn, lukasz really puts the fab in fabulous"

[–]Olpainless 4 points5 points ago

his poor northern education

Back off, southerner ಠ_ಠ

[–]theupdown 6 points7 points ago

alright, you've really got my inner fangirl excited

[–]Asiansensationz 80 points81 points ago

This is fake. Goalie doesn't get laid

[–]unlimited2k 42 points43 points ago

They get scored on.

[–]GuantanaMo 45 points46 points ago

X-post this to /r/gaymers. They'll appreciate it.

[–]quirkyblah38 59 points60 points ago

Fifa-ty shades of grey.

[–]pdpbeethoven 47 points48 points ago

Fifa-ty shades of gay.

[–]RadioactiveHam 59 points60 points ago

Damn it, I tripped.
Welp, while I'm here...

[–]spydergtx 134 points135 points ago

impact engine at it's finest...

[–]SweetNeo85 192 points193 points ago

its

[–]staringispolite 119 points120 points ago

reddit at its finest :)

[–]Cygnus_X1 8 points9 points ago

Impact engine, it's the finest...

[–]alexdelpiero 7 points8 points ago

its... oh wait.

[–]Ldreamer 26 points27 points ago

LOL at the end the guy even looks like he's wiping his mouth like "Wtf just happened...."

Edit: He also looks like he grabs his junk and gives him a quick PASSION TUG

[–]TrustyGuy 18 points19 points ago

Cut, print, gay.

[–]TryingToFindAnExit 9 points10 points ago

They're faking it

[–]junzafra 6 points7 points ago

Still a better love story than Twilight

[–]savethebs 14 points15 points ago

Take this over to /r/LadyBoners they'll get a kick out of it.

[–]Zingodaddy69 5 points6 points ago

I would upvote this but I can't stop jerking off

[–]dafootballer 99 points100 points ago

[–]Slick1 18 points19 points ago

[–]LeazZ 28 points29 points ago

Notice the hunk in the back touching the other hunks prenis?

[–]Windex007 6 points7 points ago

Is this a reference to this Sigur Ros video?

[–]isfacat 8 points9 points ago

I love how his crotch jumps with joy at the end.

[–]wcstcomic 5 points6 points ago

The best part is when the goalkeeper goes to wipe his mouth/chin at the very end. Looks like it was a very unexpected and a very sloppy smooch.

[–]crazyfingers619 3 points4 points ago

Hands... touching hands... Reaching out... touching me... touching you

Sweeeet CAaaaarol Niiiiinne!

Buuuuh Buh nuhhhhhhhHHHHHH!

[–]svenhoek86 4 points5 points ago

It's the thrill of being caught.

"The cameras aren't focused on us, let's make out real quick, no one will see it."

"I don't know it feels so wrong."

"But doesn't it also feel so right?"

[–]Putspooza 2 points3 points ago

'hot' tab finally lives up to its name.

[–]PororoXPn 1 point2 points ago

I found this easy to masturbate to

[–]gypsyjoe 17 points18 points ago

Go Liverpool!

[–]wobblytopp 23 points24 points ago

still a better love story than twilight.

[–]TycraneVG 7 points8 points ago

Be gentle with me sweet pony tail man...

HNNNGGGGHHHH

Oh, go send this to KSI. He'll surely love it.