this post was submitted on
3,122 points (52% like it)
29,960 up votes 26,838 down votes

funny

subscribe2,501,605 readers

9,982 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Squalor- 985 points986 points ago

The Russians were not impressed with her dismantlemount.

[–]Birdie_Num_Num 219 points220 points ago

But her landstand more than made up for it

[–]thattallfellow 112 points113 points ago

I am... LandStander! I stand, on land!

[–]Considuous 22 points23 points ago

Not to be confused with StandLander, your greatest nemesis.

[–]megaman78978 8 points9 points ago

It was either him or the WaterDrowner, but you know...he drowned.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 2 points3 points ago

There can only be one.

[–]GoochMcScrotes 1 point2 points ago

Finally, someone else who gets this reference...

[–]MehNahMehNah 17 points18 points ago

next, she will pummel the horse!

[–]callmesuspect 24 points25 points ago

Ahaha Dismantlemount is genius.

[–]Rushm00re 894 points895 points ago

"Absolutely catastrophic" -Every gymnastics announcer this year

[–]twitter_your_yahoo 266 points267 points ago

Maybe because she stuck her leg out right before she landed.

[–]diredyre 153 points154 points ago

She actually made a slight corrective jump before standing up straight, so she didn't have the right balance when landing, that's a couple points deduction I'm afraid.

[–]ChrisCRISIS81 241 points242 points ago

Tenths of a point deduction*

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 248 points249 points ago

Gymnastics: where the points between the points really do matter.

[–]darthmunkeys 68 points69 points ago

It is the same for math. Therefore Math=Gymnastics.

[–]gigacrash 166 points167 points ago

Gymathtics?

[–]jimbo_akimbo 72 points73 points ago

Are you Mike Tyson?

[–]Whaotemysupper 46 points47 points ago

Regular math, just naked.

[–]Eracoy 26 points27 points ago

Baby, I'm gonna get tangent to your curves.

[–]Graphesium 5 points6 points ago

I felt like an idiot saying this out loud for some reason.

[–]imaginarypunctuation 4 points5 points ago

gymathtics... it's lisp-tastic!

[–]FountainsOfFluids 5 points6 points ago

*lithp

[–]SoSimPo1 48 points49 points ago

Mathnastics?

[–]FriesWithThat 64 points65 points ago

*That should still be enough to knock Romania out of medal contention and make half a dozen girls cry as they realize that the existential efforts of half their lives rest on a 30-second uneven bar performance.

[–]octopus_rex 58 points59 points ago

existential

I do not think it means what you think it means.

[–]Z0idberg_MD 54 points55 points ago

I was scratching my head, but still a solid post. He can make it up on the floor routine.

[–]WhyYouThinkThat[!] 4 points5 points ago

That slip up will be catastrophic to his overall karma score, however.

[–]dopplex 17 points18 points ago

My own existential efforts have been successful thus far.

I think.

[–]YesYouCannot 23 points24 points ago

Everyone on the internet is a gymnastics judge these days.

[–]uhmerikin 37 points38 points ago

Duh, that's our job on the internet... to judge.

[–]darthmunkeys 37 points38 points ago

She clearly destroyed that performance; she knew she was better than every one else, no need for her to look back.

[–]bzaks1424 16 points17 points ago

Cool Guys (Girls) don't look at explosions...

[–]bouchard 138 points139 points ago

Saluting the judges, she calmly walked off the podium without even turning around to look at the remains of the apparatus.

Like a boss.

[–]NugzChillinGrindage 47 points48 points ago

That apparatus was so shoddy. How did it stay standing until the very last move? Could have ended in disaster at any point.

[–]Piernitas 63 points64 points ago

Just like an action hero walking away from a massive fiery explosion.

[–]r3b3l10n 17 points18 points ago

Beautiful strategy for the person going first!

[–]Engineer3227 8 points9 points ago

USSR - For the motherland!!!

EDIT Damn! 20 gold medals in world competitions. A bunch more in Soviet Union competitions.

[–]BrothaJett 27 points28 points ago

Huge deduction

[–]capnpitz 15 points16 points ago

Her Olympics are over.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]thisfolderisuptodate 17 points18 points ago

Is she 18???

[–]shutyourgob 28 points29 points ago

I love how the guy above you deleted his comment. Not taking any chances.

Erase hard-drive. Lawyer up.

[–]englad 37 points38 points ago

they're all in England, where the age of consent is 16, so don't worry so much.

[–]Kaiosama 26 points27 points ago

Good portion of the states in the US is 16 as well.

[–]StuporCollider 38 points39 points ago

BEST portion

[–]pandacamp 25 points26 points ago

phew

[–]mistergookey 6 points7 points ago

Don't a lot of those states also have laws that say that if a 16 year old sleeps with someone over 18, it's still illegal? I'm from the UK so I don't know for sure, it's just something I heard.

[–]Kaiosama 15 points16 points ago

Here's a quick state by state list that clarifies everything.

[–]kinkychub 42 points43 points ago

i feel like going to that site has put me on some type of list.

[–]jlayla 2 points3 points ago

not in nj. 16 = good to go

[–]cockonmydick 1 point2 points ago

Age gap provision. Im not so sure thats true, but i hope it i....i mean no i have no opinion on the matter... i mean im against it? Just leave me alone!

[–]N0V0w3ls 20 points21 points ago

"She's 16? Then I think she will be hot."

[–]cygnus83 6 points7 points ago

"One of the more pedestrian efforts we've seen so far today."

[–]scottperezfox 29 points30 points ago

-Every American gymnastics announcer this year

FTFY. I watched a Canadian broadcast the other day and it was much more positive and less critical. Canadian optimism perhaps, but we Yanks really love picking people apart. Gymnastics is the ultimate sport for catty spectators who love to talk shit.

[–]JavaLSU 55 points56 points ago

I'm actually in the opposite boat. I watched a few of the Canadian broadcasts and I felt left out.

On NBC they tell you what you probably don't know.

Example

"And on this vault her legs separated just a little and you can see that she took two steps after landing. That'll be at least 3/10ths of a deduction to her max score of 15."

Canadian Broadcast

"What a beautiful vault!"

Then when the score comes I have no idea why it's so low.
I guess it depends on what you want to see. If you just want to see people doing cool shit and being impressed then Canadian is the way to go. I love competition, and I love to know what's going on, so that's probably why I enjoy the American broadcast.

I don't view it as negativity, and I don't believe it's meant that way. It's just a critique of the performance for the sake of competition.

[–]ltredbeard 2 points3 points ago

If I was a gymnast I'd be concerned that the bars fell down so easy...

[–]BranchDavidian 241 points242 points ago

I can't tell if that move was intentional or not. That could be because even though I've watched a lot of the gymnastic events, I still have no idea what's really going on.

[–]Malicious78 276 points277 points ago

Flipping your body off the lower bar was a pretty common move a couple decades ago, but it can't be done anymore since they've changed the distance between the bars (source: read it on reddit!).

Nadia Comaneci did similar moves, like her dismount in that clip. Pretty sure the move in the gif is intentional, minus the whole knocking-all-the-shit-down part.

[–]Craysh 38 points39 points ago

The reason for the increase in distance was because the routines had become so based on swing and release moves. The distance between bars increased even more as gymnasts developed difficult transition elements that required space, such as the Pak salto.

[–]DirtPile 69 points70 points ago

Knocking all the shit down is a catastrophic move.

[–]crkhobbit 57 points58 points ago

Catastrophically awesome.

[–]bouchard 9 points10 points ago

It was a failure of the apparatus, not of the Olympian.

[–]imoutofnameideas 20 points21 points ago

This kills the uneven bars

[–]Meshuggahn 2 points3 points ago

Pretty well true, but they could still be done. The bar settings are chosen by the gymnast so they could still use the close bars if they wanted. But then they would miss out on the difficulty earned by the bigger swinging/bar change elements.

[–]Nattfrosten 6 points7 points ago

That Nadia must be a hacker.

[–]Guicastelhone 28 points29 points ago

I'm positive she said "bow before me, mortals" when she landed.

[–]DrColon 13 points14 points ago

[–]digiorknow 21 points22 points ago

I don't believe you're suppose to throw your body at the bar like that.

[–]loldudester 139 points140 points ago

Actually, back then when the bars were much closer together, moves like that were relatively common.

[–]smiling_lizard 106 points107 points ago

[–]complex_reduction 21 points22 points ago

That looks painful as hell.

[–]DirtPile 65 points66 points ago

In the end, though, it doesn't even matter.

[–]kilo4fun 22 points23 points ago

Fuck you Chester Bennington.

[–]SaikoGekido 30 points31 points ago

She tried so hard

[–]N64Fan 17 points18 points ago

And got so far

[–]mistergookey 14 points15 points ago

And got so far.

But in the end, a silver was all it got her.

[–]DTIcipher 14 points15 points ago

Why did they move them out farther? That was much more entertaining and easily more difficult than anything we saw this year.

[–]ElToroFuerte 23 points24 points ago

It's because after Korbut and Comenaci debuted their near perfect and perfect 10 routines, gymnasts and coaches started trying out new and more elaborate tricks. This involved widening the gap between the bars to accommodate, eventually, the giant swing, the full circle spin you'll see all gymnasts perform in their uneven routines. You can see the uneven bars start to widen in the 80s.

[–]bombardior 11 points12 points ago

these kind of moves were really popular back in the days but were ultimately banned i think due to it potentially hurting the stomaches of the atheletes. kinda like swimming banned staying under water for too long

[–]theodrixx 22 points23 points ago

swimming banned staying underwater for too long

In other news, shotputters are banned from braining themselves with heavy metal balls.

[–]xxpor 7 points8 points ago

It has more to do with you can go faster if you just butterfly kick the whole way across, rather than actually doing the stroke.

[–]xsailerx 2 points3 points ago

Iirc, this was banned due to spectators not being able to see the swimmers for 3/4 of the race. I've heard talk that they are considering a reversal to this rule because of underwater television cameras being much more popular.

[–]MHath 2 points3 points ago

If that's the case, say goodbye to every world record set before that rule change happens.

[–]letmeputmypoemsinyou 2 points3 points ago

I liked the uneven bars more when they were closer together. My favorite move ever on the bars isn't done any more because it's not possible with the bars being so far apart.

[–]WhyNoPlayOnMobile 3 points4 points ago

Why?!?

[–]killroy901 9 points10 points ago

It's gymnastics, where nothing is true and everything is permitted

[–]BranchDavidian 14 points15 points ago

Probably not, but I was impressed. Though as a 6'3", very non-limber man, everything I've seen in gymnastics impresses me.

[–]Victory33 5 points6 points ago

She got a perfect 10 for that right? Seems like you ARE supposed to throw your body at a bar like that.

[–]ohgodwhatthe 6 points7 points ago

It says at the end that she got a 9.8 and that the judges refused to change it even when the crowd booed them. Also apparently now that move is illegal because it involves standing on the bar.

[–]jesterkid01 5 points6 points ago

it is illegal now due to breaking up the rhythm or some such. also broken necks, i would imagine.

[–]blueskiesandaerosol 2 points3 points ago

I think she actually got 9.7- this video shows the board right after she preforms, unlike the slow-motion which cuts away.

[–]letmeputmypoemsinyou 4 points5 points ago

No, she got a 9.8, I want to say. There were no 10s given out until 1976 when Nadia hit the scene.

[–]Goddamlitre-o-cola 1 point2 points ago

I'm not very sure if she got a perfect 10 for this routine, although I believe she did receive one in her career. Nadia Comaneci was the first to get a perfect 10 in her beam in 1976

[–]FloppyCamelSphincter 40 points41 points ago

Is nobody else worried at how unstable the bars are?

[–]Attacus 3 points4 points ago

Agreed. What the fuck, how was this even remotely possible? Even unscathed, I would have been outraged in her position.

[–]CelebrationSpices 106 points107 points ago

[–]Trepper 9 points10 points ago

She doesn't even look behind her after it collapses.

[–]lool-g-lool 12 points13 points ago

Cool girls don't look at collapsing bars.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]smtmiz 3 points4 points ago

It's called "wrapping" the bar. Nowadays the bars are too far apart for the average gymnast to do so it's very rare.

[–]Managua_Green 5 points6 points ago

I thought she bent her legs in the wrong way and I cringed for a second. But then I kept watching.

[–]seagramsextradrygin 4 points5 points ago

Holy crap I've watched it like 15 times and am still trying to grasp how she did that

[–]Deracination 2 points3 points ago

She came down off the high bar facing the ground and hit the lower bar at hip-height. Her legs continued forward and then she brought them back, using the lower bar as a pivot point.

[–]scruffy01 1370 points1371 points ago

And the judges have made their decision.

IT'S AN UPVOTE, IT'S AN UPVOTE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

[–]major_redditor 498 points499 points ago

-clap clap clap-

[–]PuppyWhirl 458 points459 points ago

major_redditor was a simple man with simple needs. Just a chuckle-worthy repost with a formulaic title combined with a topical comment was enough to make him clap at his unresponsive computer monitor. But his friends and family liked him for this, as he was always the yes-man of the group. If someone needed a helping hand or a comforting hug, he was always willing and able. But one day, his life took a sudden turn for the worse.

He had been walking down the street in a rough part of town, when he noticed two tall men wearing pantyhose on their heads accosting a terrified young lady with knives. They were quietly murmuring to her in a threatening manner, and her pretty face was wracked with worry. She began handing over her purse, but in an act of defiance pulled out a can of pepper spray and unleashed a torrent of burning liquid in the eyes of her assailants. As they fell to the ground writhing in pain, major_redditor couldn't help but grin widely and clap at her success from across the street.

But within seconds, the criminals were clambering to their feet again, unbeknownst to the woman who had since turned and begun running away. major_redditor's smile turned to a fearful gape as the men turned their attention to him, shouting about reputation and revenge. He turned and tried to run, but tripped over a loose stone in the road and fell flat on his chest. The muggers were right at his heels as he tried to stand, but they swiftly stabbed him in both legs, incapacitating him from escape. They flipped him over, revealing his widened eyes filled with tears, and mocked him mercilessly in between blows to the head.

After minutes of this onslaught, the aggressors deemed their work fit for display, and hung major_redditor's limp body from a stop sign. He was no longer able to resist, and silently accepted his fate as they walked away. In his battered brain, time passed as slowly as a fish swimming in tar, until finally the police arrived. During the ride back to the station, he was filled with regret at his habit of unbridled enthusiasm, and made an oath to act more disciplined in the future, and to rid the streets of lowlife scum like his attackers. And a hero was born...

[–]fapswhiledriving 85 points86 points ago

Everytime I see your username I get excited for what I'm about to read.

[–]SporksRUs 93 points94 points ago

Just keep your eyes on the road!

[–]M002 57 points58 points ago

This was the greatest most irrelevant piece of fiction I have ever read.

[–]major_redditor 41 points42 points ago

Son, you deserve a medal.

[–]Greatwhiteturtle 16 points17 points ago

10/10 would read again.

[–]StupidLullabies 5 points6 points ago

Brilliant.

[–]mileylols 15 points16 points ago

[–]roobens 19 points20 points ago

I've never been able to figure out whether that guy won and is clapping himself, or if he's clapping the guy he's playing against. At first I thought it was the latter and he was a cool guy respecting his opponent, but I missed the "WIN" that flashes up next to him and now I think he might well be a d-bag who's clapping himself and shaking his head at his own perceived brilliance.

TL;DR Asian Justin Bieber is arrogant douche.

[–]mileylols 39 points40 points ago

yeah well :P

It's actually not really considered arrogant or disrespectful in the starcraft culture and minor victory ceremonies like this are pretty common. Keen has good ceremonies, they are fun and entertaining to watch. Firebathero takes it to a whole different level though, when after winning a match in the 2008 Proleague he threw a bowl of rice at his opponent, then took off his clothes, danced off the stage onto the beach and into the water.

[–]G8r 13 points14 points ago

It's actually not really considered arrogant or disrespectful in the starcraft culture and minor victory ceremonies like this are pretty common.

This may well be true, but I just can't muster any respect for a guy who can't even handle the recoil of an imaginary rifle.

[–]Raxyn13 2 points3 points ago

I now have you tagged as The Bard of Reddit.

[–]NeverfailMode 7 points8 points ago

Major_redditor said "clap clap clap."

PuppyWhirl was like "I can make a story with that!"

NeverfailMode in turn thought "Why not a rap?"

This one's for the readers in the front and the back.

Now once a man saw a woman being jostled,

This is a good man, think Paul the Apostle,

Maybe someone less fictionally exaggerated,

You still get the point if I'm still first-rated

I'm never too jaded because if I get too faded,

My comments might not make sense so I might not make it.

Back to the story if you can imagine it though,

Major_redditor coming through with protagonist flow.

He claps at the bravery displayed by that young lady,

Too engaged by the action to see her run like crazy.

Things take a turn for the worse,

He's worried he might burn in a hearse,

However he remembers what he learned at first;

Heroes are celebrated at best and appreciated at worst.

There's always that asshole at the Daily Bugle,

Or the corrupt Gotham City PD concerned with what's frugal,

In any case, here on Reddit we find ourselves a new idol,

Major_redditor - but who is his rival?

[–]drunk_otter 14 points15 points ago

she really stuck that title and the intentional misspelling on the last giant swing makes that a flawless execution.

[–]Alex_S_Harris 10 points11 points ago

-fap-fap-fap-

[–]Thessilonius 2 points3 points ago

easy lad.

[–]Ruddiver 58 points59 points ago

if you will notice, her left eyelid twitches during the dismount. while you may think that was a perfect routine, that is a full point reduction.

[–]hngryhngryhippo 65 points66 points ago

A PERFECT FUCKING UPVOTE! THIS IS UNHEARD OF!

NEVER AGAIN WILL WE SEE SUCH TALENT!

[–]fatboi69 282 points283 points ago

A gymnast walks into a bar. bounce.

[–]Birdie_Num_Num 139 points140 points ago

The bouncers threw her out. She was underage.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 46 points47 points ago

Rolling around the bar on your stomach will get you kicked out.

[–]ShetlandJames 5 points6 points ago

That's a bit of a stretch.

[–]justin37013 12 points13 points ago

Easy there buddy... Don't flip out on us.

[–]Dr_Fetus 108 points109 points ago

I can do that, I just don't want to.

[–]Zoids 36 points37 points ago

Have you destroyed Meat Boy yet?

[–]Dysalot 41 points42 points ago

Is that a euphemism?

[–]Melancholia 18 points19 points ago

No, it's a video game.

[–]Dysalot 23 points24 points ago

I know, but it also sounds like a euphemism.

[–]BHSPitMonkey 20 points21 points ago

I know, but it also sounds like a video game.

[–]YouKnowThatGuyWeKnow 10 points11 points ago

I know, but it also sounds like a sandwich.

[–]The_Vork[S] 14 points15 points ago

You don't have to prove anything to me doctor.

[–]blahblahblahdkjdfgj 1 point2 points ago

I was doing that right before you came in the room, but now I just don't feel like it.

[–]StewieBanana 29 points30 points ago

Does anyone know what the deduction is for fucking the shit up?

[–]bagehi 21 points22 points ago

She got the gold, along with four other gold medals in gynmastics at that World Cup.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 18 points19 points ago

Perfect score.

[–]haiku_robot 83 points84 points ago

Does anyone know 
what the deduction is for 
fucking the shit up?

[–]reddasi 2 points3 points ago

Can anyone explain what this robot is doing?

[–]NoNotionOfTime 11 points12 points ago

Flawless.

[–]sirprizes 152 points153 points ago

Every time I watch gymnastics I think "wow that was really good", which is followed by the announcers saying "she won't be happy with that performance due to that horrible mistake."

[–]The_Magnificent 76 points77 points ago

If you watch them enough you will find yourself picking out the mistakes. No straight backs, feet positioned wrong, unstable landings, etc.

/has mom that is a gymnastics instructor

[–]jsttsee 2 points3 points ago

I'm not sure that's true for someone who just watches on tv because you'd constantly be exposed to the idiocy of the commentators.

[–]The_Magnificent 5 points6 points ago

It's much easier on tv than from a distance in the audience. TV tends to give you a far better view of what is going on.

[–]jsttsee 1 point2 points ago

True, but but that was not my point. Some of the things that judges deduct for aren't intuitive or apparent, so unless you have some other resource from which to learn, and you're not going to be able to figure it out on your own or learn it from listening to the commentators. In fact, it's probably best not to listen to the commentators.

[–]The_Magnificent 8 points9 points ago

Well, of course I learned some things from my mom. However, in many competitions you'll find the commentators mentioning errors. So, that will teach you quite a lot.

Granted, it's more pleasurable to watch without the commentators.

[–]thatthatguy 30 points31 points ago

Even casual viewers like us can recognize that when they fall off, that's a deduction.

[–]el_Maripoes 7 points8 points ago

Are you saying that she fell off? She didn't, this sort of move used to be common, before it was banned, and the bars were moved further apart.

[–]thatthatguy 5 points6 points ago

No, the gymnast in that gif totally stuck the landing. It was amazing. I was commenting on gymnastics when the commentators say "oh, that's a big deduction" even I see what they're talking about when she falls off the balance beam.

[–]Molestinyocookies 4 points5 points ago

No she didn't. She made a little hop in the end, that would cost her points.

I don't know much about gymnastics otherwise, but when you land, you're supposed to be balanced.

[–]Birdie_Num_Num 21 points22 points ago

"Sorry, you'll have to leave, the bar is closing"

[–]mrbooze 3 points4 points ago

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

[–]xxsmokealotxx 4 points5 points ago

I know who I want to take me home!

[–]0x2 11 points12 points ago

She really razed the bar with that one!

[–]Theropissed 5 points6 points ago

Anyone else see the two guys in front go like "oh shi- oh."

[–]Cozmo23 44 points45 points ago

Cool guys girls don't look at explosions.

[–]Quatroking 35 points36 points ago

Note: there are no explosions

[–]sexgott 117 points118 points ago

[–]Quatroking 11 points12 points ago

you are a god amongst men

[–]dtanker 0 points1 point ago

I came to the comments specifically for this.

[–]weedmonkey 36 points37 points ago

but there should be explosions

[–]CJGibson 25 points26 points ago

I feel like reddit has enough collective photoshop skills to fix this.

[–]CP_DaBeast 5 points6 points ago

Well....anyone?

[–]Knutrh 49 points50 points ago

[–]Kratzyyy 22 points23 points ago

Nailed it. Couldn't even tell it was Photoshop.

[–]Downvotes_please_ 4 points5 points ago

Im pretty sure this is the original, and OP just edited out the explosion

[–]MaxGhost 7 points8 points ago

Fuck you, I'm at work. I laughed so hard I made a ridiculous elephant sound cause I was trying to hold it in.

[–]shelldog 2 points3 points ago

This looks like a job for Michael Bay.

[–]hngryhngryhippo 4 points5 points ago

...IN MY PANTS

edit: I don't know why I was yelling.

[–]radioactive_seagull 5 points6 points ago

Not with that attitude!

[–]Legotoadeto 52 points53 points ago

This kills the bars.

[–]PikaBlue 7 points8 points ago

Read this as 'this kills the bear' and was wondering whether I was looking at the wrong GIF. I'm guessing it COULD kill a bear, perhaps she hit with more force than realised.

We just don't know.

[–]tiania 18 points19 points ago

My buddy was talking about how some moves are banned in the uneven bars because it's too dangerous. Is this the deal he might have been talking about?

[–]zombieaynrand 59 points60 points ago

The gymnastics committee wants to keep the "ideal" women's gymnast body type a shape that approximates a 13 year old girl. There's, quite frankly, no other explanation for the events that are emphasized and the moves that girls are told are "too dangerous."

You probably saw in the men's high bar that one-handed swinging around the bar is now a move lots of guys do. When a woman did it, they didn't even have the guts to just outright ban it. Instead, they gave it the lowest possible difficulty rating, as if it was actually an EASIER skill than going around with two hands.

The gymnastics federation has been making sure that only very, very short, very very undeveloped girls can win an all-around title. Anything that encourages developing a ton of upper body strength is considered not demure enough, and just gets shut down.

If women's gymnastics were to be set up with events that showcased the skills of grown, developed women, you'd see the apparatuses change significantly. Is it any wonder that countries like China are faking birth certificates and that there has to be a minimum age limit for the Olympics, when the two "women's only" apparatus (beam and bars) are designed to award only the tiniest and most fragile?

[–]JewboiTellem 15 points16 points ago

No, they don't promote feats of strength that the men do, and outright ban a lot of them, because women used to do them but it resulted in a ton of injuries because their shoulders weren't built for the forces that men's shoulders are.

It seems fair to not allow "top tier moves" if women have to injure themselves to complete them, as opposed to the men, whose shoulders can handle it.

It'd be the same if there was some dive which was incredible but which also required you to nearly dislocate your shoulders or something. They'd do the exact same thing in that scenario also -- ban the move.

[–]zombieaynrand 11 points12 points ago

The reason women's shoulders can't do it is because the other activities you need to do for women's gymnastics require you to be very, very tiny. The more top-heavy you are, especially if you're top-heavy because of big-ass shoulders, you will fail hard at beam.

Beam's really the activity where it becomes very clear that it's PREPUBESCENT CHILDREN who are wanted for gymnastics: when you look at the very very young, very tiny Chinese gymnasts, they can actually put both their feet on the balance beam side by side with no problem. While some older and (for gymnastics) taller women can still do beam routines that are good, it's a whole different (and much harder!) event when your feet absolutely can't fit side by side on the beam.

The primary reason women's gymnasts are at such a huge risk for injury when they do the same moves as the men is that they simply aren't allowed by the sport to have a similar BODY TYPE to the men. There ARE women with compact, muscular bodies out there, just like male gymnasts have. They'd be spectacular at some of these events, but they'd be utter failures at others. The only body type that can perform on all four events is a child's body.

[–]hillke 17 points18 points ago

Yep, this is no longer legal. But I think the bars are farther apart now so it might not be possible at all anyway.

[–]wowko 9 points10 points ago

It is banned. Not sure why though. Safety seems like a legitimate cause.

[–]kaylakaylakayla 20 points21 points ago

Intestinal damage

[–]Alanoyes 4 points5 points ago

You just have to flex your abs before. Too bad they banned it though, I liked the way it looks.

[–]Shonuff8 3 points4 points ago

That's a one-tenths point deduction. That'll take her out of medal contention.

[–]passivelyaggressiver 2 points3 points ago

This kills the uterus.

[–]cory_foy 2 points3 points ago

Can someone explain what those two guys in the front row are doing as she dismounts?

[–]danieljr1992 2 points3 points ago

Good to see the bars sticking that landing. 10/10

[–]yemd 2 points3 points ago

taking out the other opponents ability to perform means that she automatically wins. i like the way she thinks.

[–]machpe 0 points1 point ago

I feel like that would cause some damage...

[–]SHITBEARDTHEPIRATE 2 points3 points ago

She really brought the house down

[–]Rosalee 2 points3 points ago

the tragedies of gymnastics -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjQCAIhxQqY

[–]Peconz -1 points0 points ago

Uneven bars can't handle that bitch

[–]TheM0joD0jo 1 point2 points ago

She must be awesome at Angry Birds.

[–]flypaper1001 0 points1 point ago

I laughed so damn hard. Thank you!