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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]VansAreOnlyForRape 337 points338 points ago

Coming in 2014: [Generic Story Name]

Synopsis: hey that's my life...

[–]Va1entine 47 points48 points ago

i'm thinking the exact same thing...

[–]MayorEmanuel 23 points24 points ago

Too bad, I already sent the script off to Hollywood.

[–]Almondcoconuts 22 points23 points ago

Jokes on you. My life story = reddit

[–]mlkshk 434 points435 points ago

So you just sit down and share with him, and he gives you a $1? Seems extremely nice. Where is this?

[–]Archmonoth 187 points188 points ago

Portland OR> during "Last Thursday". I have seen this guy a few times.

[–]Bruce_Bruce 153 points154 points ago

Yup, that's Portland.

[–]colwynmyself 128 points129 points ago

Love this place. There's also a guy (or at least used to be), that would write poems about you in a few minutes on his typewriter. Cool dude.

[–]IdoNtEvEnWaTz 461 points462 points ago

hipster as fuck

[–]TheYuppieWord 29 points30 points ago

The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland.

[–]tallwill514 0 points1 point ago

the 1890s

[–]JHole04 43 points44 points ago

Heard a story about him on NPR. The poems were pretentious as fuck; a small child asked him to write a poem about Lego (or something from a child's life) and he wrote in the style of Yeats/ Eliot.

[–]RandomPratt 262 points263 points ago

"Lego, A Poem in the Style of Yeats"

There, in the childhood,

Delights made all of the one material,

Tiny men upon bricks assembled,

Pressed together by insistent fingers,

gazed upon by eyes intent beneath knitted brow.

Proud builders and bearers of humble ideas;

Aye, for the child that builds with the Lego,

Before life's cruel insistence through time rends them twain,

and age cruels intention, dulls dreams and remains;

Sing on, youth. Sing on, and believe,

That creation is the art of the unbeheld presence,

The bricks require no mortar,

The imagination reigns free;

Just follow the instructions, and call 1-800-838-9647 if there's a bit missing.

[–]TheNecromancer 140 points141 points ago

I've always been a fan of more brutal poets. Here's Wilfred Owen's brief take on Lego.


Of jagged edge and rounded peak,

Shapes the peril of which none speak,

Yet by screeching cry and curséd word,

The bloody verdict too oft is heard.

Hidden, as a viper coiled for the strike,

Machine-born butcher, this plastic shrike,

It cares not for youth nor age,

Lego stood upon - bringer of rage.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

So fucking brilliant.

[–]Ifriendzonecats 19 points20 points ago

Could you do "The Old Man And the Lego Strewn Floor" in the style of Hemingway?

[–]RandomPratt 66 points67 points ago

I'm not nearly drunk enough for that.

[–]G0VERNMENT 11 points12 points ago

Take one jigger of absinthe and pour it into a champagne flute, slowly pour iced champagne in the glass. Drink 4-5 of these slowly. This drink is called Death in the Afternoon and was invented by Papa himself.

[–]elbenji 3 points4 points ago

and this response has made my night, thank you good poet!

[–]ilikepix 28 points29 points ago

Bricks In Their Place, by ERNEST HEMINGWAY      

It was very early and Jack took out the box because it was early and that was what Jack did. He took out the box and opened it and saw that it was full of bricks. The last time he had put away the box it had been full of bricks and now in the early day it was full of bricks just as it was before.

Jack reached into the box and removed a brick. The brick was blue with six interlocking studs placed evenly around the surface so the brick could connect tightly with the other bricks as Jack's father had done with his squadron in the war. Jack inspected the block and saw that it was true for it had none of the imperfections exhibited by many of the other bricks in the box, imperfections Jack had caused by biting or bending the bricks which he did because he was a child. Jack took the brick and reached into the box again and took out a second brick and inspected it and saw that it was true. Jack looked at the bricks and saw that there were true and good and he joined the bricks together and they joined together well and tightly.

Jack took out a third brick and inspected it and saw that the hollow base of the brick where it would interlock with the other bricks as Jack's father had done with his squadron in the war was full of red sand, dust which had blown in from the dry earth outside, blown in through the open french windows which Jack's mother had left open during the hot night so were open now even though it was very early. Jack held the brick to his mouth and blew out very hard, very hard as Jack's father had blown as he ran flat out through the dry sand to reach the man, the young man, as he lay and bled red into the red sand and the dry earth. Jack blew out the sand and interlocked the brick tightly with the other two bricks.

Jack carried on with a fourth, then fifth, then sixth brick, and they were all true and good and free of the imperfections of the other bricks Jack had bitten and mangled which lay at the bottom of the box. Jack inspected the column of bricks he had made and found that while it was straight and true it was too long, too long for the gun he had in his mind to make, the gun he had seen on his father's old belt which hung on the wooden hook in the dark hallway of their old house. So he took the top brick and tried to pry it free from the column he had made of the other bricks.

But the top brick of the column would not break free in the early day with the dust blowing in through the french windows. Jack braced his arm which was strong for the arm of a child against the hot leather chair of the large room as he pushed down on the top brick with his other arm. But the bricks were interlocked together and the top brick would not detach from the column of bricks.

Jack lifted the column of bricks and put the top brick of the column into his mouth and bit into the brick as his father had bitten into the hard pin of a grenade when he fought in the war. Jack bit into the brick and twisted, levering his head to force the brick off the column of bricks he had made. Jack held the detached brick in his mouth before taking it out with his small rough fingers and holding it up in the early light to inspect it. Where his teeth had held the brick the sides had buckled and the hollow base of the brick would no longer interlock tightly with the other bricks. Jack took the imperfect brick and reached into the box, forcing aside the other bricks. Jack left the brick carrying his teeth marks at the bottom of the box of bricks.

[–]snoozieboi 6 points7 points ago

And and "The beautiful lego" in the style of Brian Hugh Warner

[–]RandomPratt 7 points8 points ago

I've left all my make-up at home.

[–]alumniblues 21 points22 points ago

YOU should do this on the street.

[–]RandomPratt 89 points90 points ago

I don't own a beret.

[–]Zoccihedron 28 points29 points ago

Just take Boone's.

[–]elanmorintedronai 1 point2 points ago

Let's get this man a beret!

[–]triscuit312 2 points3 points ago

Nope. I understood that. Therefore it is not in the style of Yeats and Eliot.

[–]_Chantastic_ 7 points8 points ago

DM;HP?

[–]AquaNeito 10 points11 points ago

he is doing something creative he must be hipster!

[–]BishopAndWarlord 2 points3 points ago

Dude, it's Portland.

Portland.

[–]Assbadger 4 points5 points ago

That sounds awesome.

[–]SadlyIamJustaHead 4 points5 points ago

Still is, walked by him (them, girl was there as well) on the 4th by the waterfront.

[–]Mushyyy 5 points6 points ago

Obligatory Edit: spelling

[–]weyand1 2 points3 points ago

I'm from the middle bit of Oregon, specifically Redmond/Bend area, but I always love the trips to the big city, so to speak. Also, anyone who hasn't been there and is a fan of Portlandia, that is exactly how it is. The exaggeration is actually quite minor. Obviously, it can't speak for as whole city, but I was impressed by how well the Portland attitude was captured.

[–]Vinstud42 313 points314 points ago

I once went to a foo fighters concert and this old guy (probably around 95 year old )was jamming out to the music, It was amazing i asked him why he was here .he replied " Because my wife once said if you dont enjoy life then what's the point in life at all" I t was truly beautiful. and what happend next was also amazing, they started to finish there set and this old guy was so into it he pulled down his shorts took a shit in his hands and then clapped so hard and was so happy while all the people around him were getting covered in his own shit. I wont forget the day i met that man, what a beautiful day that was :)

[–]elricsfate 304 points305 points ago

What the fuck did I just read.

[–]RoscoeMG 99 points100 points ago

I think 4chan might be leaking onto Reddit.

[–]PriestmanX 23 points24 points ago

Well...considering most of reddit is just rehashed garbage from 4chan. I think this has always been here.

[–]myturnbaby 8 points9 points ago

tldr: man clapped with/in his own shit

[–]D1NKLEBERGGG 2 points3 points ago

tl;dr: old man is happy

[–]tballz3773 20 points21 points ago

Thanks brother for the story...sitting on the toilet trying to take a crap but constipated...started laughing out loud...shit came flushing out

[–]hallowedsouls 31 points32 points ago

Did you catch it and start clapping?

[–]tballz3773 21 points22 points ago

Yeah bro...while listening to some foo fighters...YOLO

[–]TurKoise 50 points51 points ago

wat

[–]NorwegianPearl 36 points37 points ago

HE SAID THE OLD MAN CLAPPED SHIT IN HIS HANDS.

[–]Purdy14 22 points23 points ago

[–]nuworldblue 32 points33 points ago

I don't know if I'm just stoned or what, but this is the funniest comment that I have ever read on reddit.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]BoringUsername1 14 points15 points ago

You read it here on Reddit and lets not forget it. He read it on Reddit and then he said it was the funniest thing he ever read on Reddit.*

* I'm tired and working a graveyard shift. Please excuse my insanity and attempts at Dr. Seuss'ing.

For the sake of a good time, I will leave you an edit: I have nothing important to say and now I regret it...the edit...that you read on Reddit.

[–]everythingsweetnsour 3 points4 points ago

"You read it here on Reddit and lets not forget it. He read it on Reddit and then he said it was the funniest thing he ever read on Reddit"

I would love to see that quote tattooed on a basement dwelling neck-beard.

[–]mojowo11 4 points5 points ago

I don't know if I'm just stoned or what,

YES YOU DO

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

SOMETIMES IT'S JUST HARD TO TELL, YOU KNOW, LIKE

MAYBE I'M STONED

MAYBE I'M, YOU KNOW, NOT, MAN

[–]TheSecondLaw 25 points26 points ago

Shitty_Watercolour

Shitty_Watercolour

Shitty_Watercolour

[–]N3rdiByNatur3 10 points11 points ago

He isn't bettlejuice you know!

[–]weedsmokingscientist 1 point2 points ago

dafuq did i just read

[–]sosborn1021 5 points6 points ago

You're my boy Blue!

[–]NeedAWittyName 1 point2 points ago

:D

...

ಠ_ಠ

[–]1Ender 0 points1 point ago

I was at that concert as well. I remember seeing that man as well, i tried to take a photo but when i reached down into my pockets they were full of spaghetti, and then i started dropping spaghetti everywhere.

[–]jzstyles 29 points30 points ago

He's saving all your secrets in case any of them become famous then he will blackmail you and make all the money he gave away and more.

[–]slutsoup 28 points29 points ago

You're thinking of the Church of Scientology. Except you pay them for that service.

[–]BravoJohnnyBravo 4 points5 points ago

So they are like hookers. You pay, they service.

[–]I_Downvote_Cunts 3 points4 points ago

And they both fuck you.

[–]thehollowman84 8 points9 points ago

Oh no. It's far more insidious than that. He wants your stories so he can post them to reddit for the delicious karma.

[–]danielsmith46 2 points3 points ago

He goes to Portland Bible College. I really don't think that's his intent.

[–]Jumin 6 points7 points ago

Maybe he is a would-be writer and wants to use people's ideas for something. Giving them a $1 in exchange would count as a legal sale, would it not?

[–]Derkek 2 points3 points ago

It sounds like he seeks inspiration so go goes out and collects data.

[–]hiii 174 points175 points ago

I bought a homeless person a meal once adn asked for his story in return. he didnt say anything =\

[–]Assbadger 408 points409 points ago

I bought a group of homeless guys a bag of food once when I was around 22. They all said thanks and one guy asked, "Man, ain't nothing we can do for you?" I said, "Tell me a good story." The laughed and talked my ear off for an hour or so. Funny shit, sad shit it ran the gambit. I was about to leave and one of them passed me a bottle of booze they were sharing, I told them I didnt drink (I didn't have my first beer til 24) and he said, "That's why you don't have no stories of your own!" We all shared a great laugh at that one.

[–]Shebazz 62 points63 points ago

to paraphrase Jim Jeffries: If you don't drink, all your stories suck, because they all end with "and then we got home"

Edit: found a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUjPoyGPKtQ

[–]Conlaeb 12 points13 points ago

"If you don't drink you're a boring cunt, and all your stories suck. They all end the same way, "And then I got home."

[–]Assbadger 2 points3 points ago

Awesome! For the most part I would have to agree. Thanks for the link man.

[–]Shebazz 2 points3 points ago

No problem. If you appreciate crass humour, be sure to check him out he is hilarious

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]swagcat 7 points8 points ago

You just bury the hookers, no problem

[–]MilkTaoist 25 points26 points ago

Ran the gamut. Not the gambit. Unless we're talking about some kind of risky maneuver to gain advantage over a foe.

[–]Assbadger 4 points5 points ago

Yes sir, my bad. Thanks.

[–]MilkTaoist 5 points6 points ago

Easy mistake to make if you've only ever heard it, and not seen it in writing.

[–]paradoxburn 31 points32 points ago

I offered a homeless man, with bandages around his face and hands from a fire he got caught in, food and he chose the cheapest place to go. But we sat down with our fish and chips and when I ask for a story he gets this huge grin.

He stumbled over he words and we do end up talking, but after half an hour he can only start the story before his mind wanders. He was only twenty-five, but even amid the humorous story he was trying to tell, he had to add that everyone he was talking about had died or gotten burned much worse than he in the fire. Sad, but it was a great experience.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Agasti 16 points17 points ago

I once was forced to spend the night listening to a homeless guy telling me his story. I had missed the last train to another city so I stayed in the train station because it was very cold outside. The guy was telling me how he was once a karate champion in France and how he went to China when he was young to train with Shaolin monks. Apparently he became an homeless alcoholic after he lost his wife and his daughter in a car accident.

He was certainly a disturbed fellow. But somehow I don't think he was lying.

PS: This was in Paris. And the police kicked us out of the station at 2:00 am because they don't allow people to stay in the station the whole night.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

I think homeless people have a higher chance of having a mental disorder, there's a shot he believed his story, whether or not it was true.

I don't know, I'm just making stuff up, but who cares

[–]LiterallyShitsWisdom 86 points87 points ago

Seems pretty cool. Reminds me of this.

[–]ImNotGoodInEnglish 125 points126 points ago

Probably a writer. He will stole your life story but argue he paid you 1$ for it...

[–]SHORTNAMEISNOWLONGGG 191 points192 points ago

Writer here. If you're smart you wouldn't take a whole life story, you'd take pieces. An exciting kayak trip. A marathon. Graduation. You then break these stories down to their nuts and bolts and put them back together. The dirty green of the wide river your friend paddled down becomes the green of an old western reservoir. The ache of a marathon becomes a symptom of a fictional plague. The ceremony of graduation translates nicely into a cultist anointing ritual.

While it would be best to experience it first-hand, you only have so much time on this planet. Friends, books, tv shows, movies, music, art; all provide invaluable ways to gain experience.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

I do see a certain elegance in your words, but here's a quote from a good movie about willpower and killing stuff in the woods:

"So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you.

But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief. "

[–]PiratesAreThieves 3 points4 points ago

That was some of the gayest shit ever.

Thanks.

[–]HighGuy92 1 point2 points ago

What is this from? Incredible quote.

Edit: Nvm, Good Will Hunting

[–]NealHatesMath 27 points28 points ago

That... that was beautiful.

[–]Kongo204 13 points14 points ago

He/she did claim to be a writer

Edit: spelling. Thanks 120hraef

[–]120hraef 10 points11 points ago

Yeah we heard them, calim down.

Edit: poster fixed typo. Thanks me

[–]Kongo204 1 point2 points ago

Fixed

[–]120hraef 1 point2 points ago

No problem.

[–]tuesdays_ 11 points12 points ago

I wonder what his story is.

[–]proud_to_be_a_merkin 10 points11 points ago

He's probably a writer looking for ideas.

[–]bartbart 25 points26 points ago

It probably goes something like, "So, my dad is a contractor and my mother is a real estate agent. They sent me to a private secondary school so that I could get into a good college. I did get a college education, and after college I moved to Portland, Oregon, and pretended to relate to impoverished people. I bought lots of dark clothing and pretended to be an artist. Although, I majored in Business, and have no background in any of the arts. Now I'm on the internet."

Edit: No, I do not think people from Portland, Oregon are poor. I think they are spoiled wieners that love to pretend to have it worse than they really do.

[–]mojowo11 23 points24 points ago

You are a presumptuous dick, but I'm upvoting this anyway because it contains a very dense concentration of spite that I find borderline impressive.

[–]Wait_What_Happened 4 points5 points ago

That was a long definition for "Im part of the Hipster Trend" Or the more popular "I'm 20~ and I recently moved to portland."

[–]neomicron 3 points4 points ago

Not sure if arrogant.

Or correct.

[–]Mrdirtypantis 34 points35 points ago

I think this image is beautiful because of the way she is sitting in front of him. Just partially comfortably on the ground. She is so into the idea of sharing that sitting on a dirty street has no bearing.

[–]rebelboy1 18 points19 points ago

i think she is just cute as a mutherfucking button

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 23 points24 points ago

"My story? I used to give out dollar bills to people who would tell me their story. After a while I went broke."

[–]iDangleSnipe43 31 points32 points ago

Steve-O?

[–]NeverEverClever 31 points32 points ago

I would be so tempted to rap him the theme song of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

[–]Rydium 3 points4 points ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one that had this thought, was singing the theme in my head as I scrolled down and read this.

[–]She-wolfe99 21 points22 points ago

I will tell him the Tales of Ba Sing Se..

[–]cp710 17 points18 points ago

Leaves from the vine Falling so slow Like fragile, tiny shells Drifting in the foam

[–]silmeheryn 6 points7 points ago

Q.Q

[–]atafies 2 points3 points ago

And my day was starting out happy too. :(

[–]eisen_drachen 5 points6 points ago

I love when /r/TheLastAirbender leaks.

[–]Crimgan 8 points9 points ago

Listen to my story. This may be our last chance

[–]damnit_bobby 21 points22 points ago

Is that Dennis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

[–]tanlin2021 4 points5 points ago

yes.

[–]thinklauren 26 points27 points ago

Cheapest therapy session ever. My parents could have saved thousands on me.

[–]eddyeddy3 14 points15 points ago

if that's all it takes, then you obviously did not need therapy.

[–]sobriquet_ 1 point2 points ago

Actually there is a branch of psychology that stresses the 'therapist' only listen to their client. It is actually seen as one of the most successful forms of psychology. I would like to provide your a source but it is lost in my notes and textbooks and professor's lectures. But don't worry, I got an A on that exam.

[–]wispmother 28 points29 points ago

Something like this is always really enchanting to me. It's just surreal...the compassion and interest. That people still want to be with other people. A exit from the cliques and tricks of life, I suppose.

[–]Anaract 5 points6 points ago

This is major first world problem I have. I have no story.

"Um, yeah. I just... kinda do normal stuff. Got a job, you know. It's boring. I wanna travel I guess, that would be cool. Probably do that some day. Get some.. story going on for once.."

[–]CryptoPunk 4 points5 points ago

What's stopping you? You're only getting older.

[–]SixBiscuit 2 points3 points ago

You're going to die.

[–]ethanderson 9 points10 points ago

It all stated when I fell asleep at my keyboard, long story short take the blue pill.

[–]givemesnow 2 points3 points ago

I've yet to be able to pinpoint why but in the past couple years I've had an intense desire to connect with strangers on this level. Never could come up with a way without being a "creep", but this.. This is amazing

Don't know when but one of these days I will be found on Venice boardwalk with that sign. Thanks for posting good sir

[–]Un-needed_Edit 33 points34 points ago

[–]ubernuke 41 points42 points ago

I like the idea of this account. I would personally like it if you could put the original image next to your edited version.

[–]Un-needed_Edit 50 points51 points ago

Thank you for the feedback. i really appreciate hearing everyone's views and will see what i can do about putting them side by side.

[–]nfsnobody 5 points6 points ago

Side-by-side would be amazing!

[–]fsufitch 1 point2 points ago

Yep, do this, and make sure to have the edited image on the right, not the left. Don't make it easy to cheat by switching between tabs (I'm guilty).

[–]Ringmaster187 15 points16 points ago

too easy...just open up the two images and switch between the tabs. But...

  • zipper on khaki guys sweatshirt
  • logo (?) of thing on table
  • Thingie slightly in the shot in the lower right

[–]Blackultra 2 points3 points ago

Either you are a cruel cruel man, or I'm blind for not being able to find the third difference....

[–]plasticzealot 4 points5 points ago

I have no story.

My life is so bland and boring.

Guy could offer me $100, I couldn't tell him a story about my life to save my life.

[–]GoDawgs34 17 points18 points ago

I guarantee you that your life is interesting to someone.

[–]OverKillv7 7 points8 points ago

And in the next stunning installment of plasticzealot's life, he read reddit, for 12 hours. Stay tuned tomorrow for more exciting adventures!

[–]I_STAB_HIPSTER_FILTH 3 points4 points ago

I would tell him, but that requires about two full garbage bags. For show-and-tell.

[–]Questions-Answered 2 points3 points ago

That's Dennis Reynolds demonstrating his value by being a good listener.

[–]RobToastie 6 points7 points ago

I would so do this. I love listening to people's stories

[–]sonofeevil 1 point2 points ago

Me too actually... There's something special about two strangers connecting in such a way.

Your never as honest as you are with a stranger both giving and receiving. You'll never meet again what does it matter?

[–]brandenmg 3 points4 points ago

I actually went to high school with this guy. It is a kind of ministry that he is serving in Portland. He is an interesting fella.

(We are originally from a small town near Seattle. I now live in Bellingham, Wash.)

[–]kitywompus 5 points6 points ago

It's a scam. He writes a book about YOUR story and makes millions.

[–]west0883 2 points3 points ago

I would definitely do this if I got the chance. I wonder how he ended up there.

[–]rojlewis 3 points4 points ago

I can already smell the dirty indie funk.

[–]judehoffman 2 points3 points ago

Steve-O is doing good things these days.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air

[–]Foley1 1 point2 points ago

"Hey, this is my story" Fuck off Tidus.

[–]maniac_man50 1 point2 points ago

I wanna tell him 100 of my stories!

[–]FlashByNature 2 points3 points ago

Glenn Howerton?

[–]gloomdoom 1 point2 points ago

Just go to r/askreddit like every other redditor who talks about himself incessantly for hours on end.

That's literally what the subreddit has become. It's a total support group for lonely people who want to feel like they're being interviewed. Go over there sometime...I dare you.

Then again, I forget how acceptable it's become in this day and age to make yourself the center of all conversation. The problem over there is that 90% of the stories are false. Everyone knows it, they just enable one another because if I don't believe your blown-up, fabricated stories then you won't believe my blown-up, fabricated stories.

And that would break the entire chain of enablement.

[–]MagicMurderBean 1 point2 points ago

"I woke up, jerked off to some pics of a "friend" on facebook, had a bowl of cereal and realized how much I hate my life and that's about it"

[–]JustHereToDerp 1 point2 points ago

I must find this man.

[–]SensesEnd 1 point2 points ago

A friend of mine from college back in the late 1980's did a variation on this. When a homeless person would approach him looking for a handout, he told them "Well, I can give you the change in my pocket and we can both be on our way. But I'll give you a dollar...which is more than the change I have...if you tell me a story."

He said he didn't get many good stories, but almost everyone tried. Wish he'd shared a few, anyway.

[–]The_Unreal 1 point2 points ago

I've always wanted to do this. Be curious to see what you learn.

[–]solipcyst 1 point2 points ago

I wanna tell this guy two stories.

[–]evanhoh94 0 points1 point ago

I'll bet he wades through some shitty stories

[–]flamingflipflop 1 point2 points ago

Lucky for me I have lots of storeys. Get rich quick scheme here I come!!

[–]w4nd3rlu5t -1 points0 points ago

uh, no one else thinks it's ridiculous that HE's the one talking? He asks for a story but is vehemently speaking... looks like a blowhard to me.

[–]Gen_Lee 1 point2 points ago

Holy fuck this is great. I want to do this. I honestly love hearing people tell me their stories.

[–]umheywaitdude 0 points1 point ago

AKA: Trollbait McFlag. Welcome to Portland.

[–]tweezyb 0 points1 point ago

I like how seriously Yoko Ono is taking this idiot.

[–]TachyonFarticles -1 points0 points ago

It looks a lot like The Oatmeal.

[–]chaoticflanagan 0 points1 point ago

When I saw what his sign said, I tried to think of a story and I can't think of anything at all...not a single story...

[–]dreamsplease 1 point2 points ago

Looks like Glen Howerton from it's always sunny

[–]orsr 1 point2 points ago

With a life as boring as mine, I'm pretty sure he'd expect a reimbursement.

[–]azhockeyfan 0 points1 point ago

I want to tell him a million stories.

[–]playpianoking 0 points1 point ago

Tell me your story and you can give me $1.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Free hugs weren't enough. Now we have to pay to meet new people..

[–]DJUrsus 0 points1 point ago

Bullshit, you just want a dollar.

[–]okgothen224 1 point2 points ago

I'll do this over AIM and you pay ME a dollar through paypal, the "yep" "ohhh" "uh huh" responses aren't an automated script, just empathy in the 21st century.

[–]guyver_dio 0 points1 point ago

I wanna tell him my story 500 times a day

[–]krispwnsu 0 points1 point ago

I would tell him the story of Goldylocks and the three bears.

[–]pj3044 0 points1 point ago

This guy is the ultimate karma whore.

[–]orzof 0 points1 point ago

A young Steve Hartman?

[–]Plopcorn 1 point2 points ago

I'd introduce myself as Ash, and tell him all the wild adventures in the most realistic way possible.

[–]Noweightsatthegym 0 points1 point ago

Wow. I've always dreamed about doing something like this. I'm gonna do it this weekend.

[–]JonathanUnicorn 0 points1 point ago

I don't really need the dollar... But I guess if nobody was around and he was looking lonely I'd go and chat with him.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I wouldn't share my story. It's not particularly interesting, but it's my business.

[–]OxCockbone 0 points1 point ago

Huh, I went to high school with this guy.

[–]msoccerdude2 0 points1 point ago

this got me thinking, what is my story?

[–]calle30 0 points1 point ago

Consider his idea stolen.

[–]perverted_piglet 0 points1 point ago

I'm afraid I'm going to bankrupt him.

[–]DarksideoftheIsland 1 point2 points ago

Fake psychologist, real scumbag writer

[–]TheNecromancer 0 points1 point ago

Has to be a good way to meet girls.

[–]Uono 0 points1 point ago

This asshole stole my idea. Granted I exclusively paid homeless people for their stories, and I wasn't a cheap fuck about it. I did it as a win/win when I lived in a city that had a large homeless population. I enjoyed hearing their stories (most of the time) and they needed money.

[–]grayrobot 0 points1 point ago

Robert Fulghum sat in a cafe with a sign on the table that said "Tell me your love story and I will buy you coffee and make it famous" - he compiled his favorite stories and embellished them a little and put them in a book called "True Love" - it's really good.

Maybe that's what this guy is doing?

[–]WhosWhosWho 1 point2 points ago

I suddenly want to do this now.

[–]Admiral_Sunshine 0 points1 point ago

It's really nice that this guy listens to people's problems, and even gives them $1. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to.

[–]cuppincayk 0 points1 point ago

Sometimes I just randomly feel so encompassed with loneliness. I'd tell him my story in a heartbeat.

[–]gluxcogknocker 0 points1 point ago

This sounds like something I would want to do. There's very few ways to attract people to you and try to connect with them in a pure way other than sharing your story.

[–]GaZZuM 0 points1 point ago

"So there's this ring right, turns people invisible and shit..."

[–]iKaka 1 point2 points ago

I need a dollar, a dollar, a dollar is all I need

[–]oldguardisdead 0 points1 point ago

I have at least 5,000 stories I can think of off the top of my head.

[–]WMurphy96 0 points1 point ago

I'd like to do something like this.

[–]dangeraardvark 0 points1 point ago

Don't do it. He's just going to pitch them as reality show plotlines.

[–]Tuturu 0 points1 point ago

Hey I also saw that guy when I went to Last Thursday

[–]Cousie_G 0 points1 point ago

My best friend asks the teacher "Wanna hear a joke", he replies with "I don't want to hear about your life"

[–]duckspunk 0 points1 point ago

He's like askreddit except that he pays you.

[–]yohansen5b 1 point2 points ago

I see Lyra and Will have been through here.

[–]Nazfera2 1 point2 points ago

Maybe he has writhers block. And needs inspiration.

[–]TittyStabber 0 points1 point ago

The guy kinda looks like James Dean.

[–]HolaPinchePuto 0 points1 point ago

Wow, this is such a beautiful picture.