I got a good story about cops from there. I live in New Jersey, and for 2 years before moving to Norway I lived in a shitty, high crime area. As you know, living in such an area, the cops can be just as dangerous as the criminals. I'm scared of them, and where they are, I am not.

So I was living in Oslo for a while after this. I was in some nightclub with a bunch of Norwegian girls, having a good time, when all of a sudden I see cops inside while I'm trying to get a drink. Naturally, I leave and stand across the street smoking cigarettes waiting for the people I showed up with to get out. I'm there for about 10 minutes when my phone rings. It's one of the girls, lets call her Kari.

"Where did you go?" she asks.

"I left. There's like 15 cops in there," I say.

"What? Are they there because of you?"

"Kari, God no. But the cops showed up, and I left."

"I don't understand what's wrong. Just come back in."

"No way."

So Kari comes outside to talk to me, and I'm standing there watching this club being swarmed with cops. "Do you have drugs?"

"No, I'm clean. I'm just scared of cops and don't like to be around them."

"Scared?" she says, and starts laughing. "What is there to be scared of? They do not arrest you for no reason. The police are here to keep us safe."

Here, I just started laughing my ass off at her, which confused her even more. "What the fuck IS this country!?" After that I explained my relationship with cops in America, and it made more sense to her, but still! You may say that the cops there are assholes, but I can guarantee they are nothing compared to cops around here. I have so many stories there of when I'd get into fight or flight mode because someone was too close to me, or asking me weird questions when I was alone on the street, and every time my Norwegian friends would think I was totally nuts for being so anxious in these situations.

Then again, they all told me I'd get stabbed trying to buy hash in Gronland from the Africans, and they were never anything but kind and professional. One of them even looked at the amount he was gonna give me, went "no, that's too small hang on", called his dude, picked up more, and gave me a fair amount.

Ah, I do miss it there. Especially your women :)