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all 64 comments

[–]sacr3dc0wBeaverton 20 points21 points ago

A good night's sleep is difficult while laying in ball sweat stew.

[–]Desireei 19 points20 points ago

That's known as Swamp Ass in the South.

[–]maomoaArbor Lodge 2 points3 points ago

Baby powder....

[–]undergroundPOP 0 points1 point ago

It's known as duck butter actually.

[–]derp_patrol 2 points3 points ago

Made a fresh batch of ball soup.

[–]willsayswhatsup[S] 2 points3 points ago

Is that what I should put in the spray bottle?

[–]lydixSW 12 points13 points ago

I stopped procrastinating and bought an air conditioner yesterday. I am a big giant baby, and cannot do ANYTHING in the heat.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

I caved today after not sleeping a wink last night. all's well if I'm awake in the heat, but sleep depro sucks. (my work isn't air-conditioned much either. 85F all throughout this afternoon...)

But I could not find an AC unit to save my life. Home Depot cancelled my online order. Wal-Mart cancelled my online order. Target had one left...but it was a $300 model.

so whatever, I'm toughing it out.

or, in meme form:

one does not simply buy an airconditioner in portland when it hits 100F

[–]lydixSW 3 points4 points ago

Look on craigslist! I got a nice portable air conditioner, that sells for about $350 new, for $150. Just ask people if they'll run it for a minute when you come pick it up (just to make sure it works). I set mine up today and turned it on, and it's like the North-fucking-Pole in my apartment.

I went last summer entirely without an AC and it was terrible. I also lived in an apartment complex that had a pool in which nobody was allowed to swim (something about the city condemning the pool). Those bastards still put water in it though. I was like, "but it's right there, and it's so hot in here!" lol

I hope you find something to beat the heat though. Not being able to sleep because of the heat is especially terrible.

[–]agentofhellN Tabor 4 points5 points ago

I will say central AC is the only reason I have not shot anybody. Good for you for!

[–]Dirigibleduck 9 points10 points ago

A spray bottle and/or a cool wet towel are your friend.

[–]kieranmullen 2 points3 points ago

And or a cold shower on the coldest setting.

[–]feigndad 0 points1 point ago

In your clothes

[–]3x3Eyes 1 point2 points ago

Try that when the humidity is also at 80 to 90%.

[–]burritomadness 0 points1 point ago

Frozen peas are pretty great too.

[–]partyshirtCreston-Kenilworth 7 points8 points ago

Box fans are on sale at Lowe's for $15. Saved my marriage last night.

[–]pkulakRoseway 6 points7 points ago

This. Get a giant one and put it in any window in your house that doesn't have a screen, facing outside as an exhaust. Close the window on it and fill in any gaps with a custom cutout of cardboard (or plywood if you like carpentry). Then open any other windows in your house that do have screens. If you just open the window in your bedroom, you'll get a heck of a nice breeze flowing through and you can have the actual fan on the other side of the house, on high, making a huge racket where you can't hear it.

[–]ZogindaxFoster-Powell 6 points7 points ago

Cold showers are your friend. At one point last year I was up to 2-3 a night.

[–]Natural_QuestionSW 6 points7 points ago

I don't have a window screen in my room so I get the joys of annoying fucking moths flying around on top of that.

[–]jobotslashAlphabet District 8 points9 points ago

There exists retractable screen things. There are a few in my apartment complex that are getting passed around. They're like 7 -10 bucks I think at the hardware stores.

[–]Natural_QuestionSW 5 points6 points ago

That there is some useful information.

[–]masterminderSE 0 points1 point ago

There's also rolls of window screening at any hardware store for super cheap. My last landlords wouldn't install screens on my window so I said fuck it and just nailed the screening to the exterior of the window.

[–]ShotgunPaulLake Oswego 4 points5 points ago

For once I was happy to be sleeping in the basement.

[–]TheEmceeLadd's Addition 1 point2 points ago

Sleeping in the basement is always great! It's darker, too.

[–]necrojWoodstock 0 points1 point ago

I did this two nights ago. The next night, I slept in the bedroom in an all night dance of anything facing the bed was a sweat pool, and anything not was air conditioned sweat. Verdict: basement.

[–]takeitanrun 0 points1 point ago

Except for the radon levels - seriously - always check apartments before moving in. LOTS of radon in Portland

[–]lacheur42 3 points4 points ago

I live in an apartment building with all utilities included. Window AC is working overtime. Take that, The Man!

[–]robbiedo[!] 4 points5 points ago

I have one of these

Chilipad

[–]DrEmilioLazardo 0 points1 point ago

$399....well I guess that's not gonna happen.

[–]maomoaArbor Lodge 8 points9 points ago

Obligatory post about living in the South.

[–]internetpersona11SE 5 points6 points ago

I haven't lived long term in Alabama for a decade and a half. I've acclimated, fuck the heat.

[–]cazart13Woodstock 4 points5 points ago

NC originally here. The difference is that almost every building has a/c in the South.

[–]detroitdoesntsuckbadDowntown 1 point2 points ago

For Raleigh resident here, now is supposed to be my time to laugh at my friends there. They get to laugh at me from November to April.

[–]OryxNE 2 points3 points ago

A window a/c is cheap as hell and takes about 5 minutes to install. No need to suffer, this being the 21st century and all. Treat yourself.

[–]OduseiHillsdale 8 points9 points ago

Only if you have the sort of windows that open vertically. If all your windows open horizontally, it's a big fucking nightmare.

[–]youhatemeandihateyouSE 5 points6 points ago

LG portable a/c is $297 @ Home Depot. Best $300 I have ever spent.

[–]kubrick66Woodstock 2 points3 points ago

Behold!

Those portable units are spendy and don't really work as well as window units. A little modification is all you need.

[–]necrojWoodstock 1 point2 points ago

We have the same problem, but got one of those "indoor" units for one room similar to this . I had to hacksaw the part that fits in the window sill a bit, but it works.

[–]ZogindaxFoster-Powell 2 points3 points ago

[–]Galaxyman0917 0 points1 point ago

Try working graveyards and having to sleep doing the day. It's even more hellish.

[–]Natural_QuestionSW 1 point2 points ago

Try being a welder during the day. Stepping outside feels like fall...

[–]dharmabum42 4 points5 points ago

I just moved here from Florida, you all are a bunch of liars...this is why I left Florida :(

[–]CAPCHECKSE 9 points10 points ago

In four weeks you will forget Florida and not remember it until August of 2013.

[–]CAPCHECKSE 0 points1 point ago

Melatonin and a fan.

Also, paper over the glass with aluminum foil. This is a different level of IR hatred.

[–]bunnyish 1 point2 points ago

AGREED.

[–]itchyburn 0 points1 point ago

I still haven't turned on the AC in my house or in my truck.

[–]dougTigard 1 point2 points ago

This is why I made /r/sleepy

[–]driver8 1 point2 points ago

Try setting up a fan to blow across the bed and laying a damp washcloth on your chest as you fall asleep.

[–]ohmanimstonedFoster-Powell 1 point2 points ago

I'm extremely thankful to a friend who showed up randomly at my house with a new box-fan for me and my daughter. Totally unexpected. Thank god.

[–]unastronaut 1 point2 points ago

Just moved up here from Phoenix, so I hope to never need this tactic but an extra fitted sheet with the fan placed at the end of it to sorta make a bubble feels pretty sensational.

[–]startingalawnmower 0 points1 point ago

Despite the window A/C in the kitchen and multiple fans in the house, I feel your pain. Every year I say, "If we had more hot days I could justify getting central air..."

Then this crap hits.

Not long ago I overdid it in the yard/back was killing me and ended up taking my frozen gel pack to bed with me. Bonus: kept me cool and I slept rather well. Bi-Mart sells 'em in various sizes and they're only a few bucks.

The next time we take our vintage (1963) camper out, I am seriously considering making the "redneck A/C unit" as described here on Reddit recently. I'm sure I'll mess up the link, but this was the post I made sure to save.

[–]Turboedtwo 1 point2 points ago

I was on the coast for a few days where it was cool and then got back into town and put my gold bond to work.

[–]ratlater 1 point2 points ago

Hammock.

[–]Revofev92Beaverton 0 points1 point ago

This is why I love my room. Dat basement.

[–]jordanlundSunnyside 0 points1 point ago

Sure you can! It's called "heat exhaustion".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

No one has fans? Pointing a box fan towards the bed helps A LOT. We have AC in our living room area but not in the bedroom. So we use the box fan to help us go to sleep.

[–]Entrarchy 0 points1 point ago

August 1st I bought a box fan. $20. Best 20 bucks I've ever spent.

[–]sirk511 -2 points-1 points ago

95 Sounds like a blessing right now i used to live in or but after being in the military i now live on post in north carolina it is average 105 here