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When my parents tell me they looked through my internet history at the diner table. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Guardian_Jecht

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[–]orymashu 108 points109 points ago

Who the fuck actually isn't using incognito mode by now?

[–]cvtopher12 50 points51 points ago

I don't. The risk makes it more rewarding.

It's like fapping on the highest difficulty.

[–]Jisaw 47 points48 points ago

At grandparents' house, door unlocked, during a wake.

[–]cvtopher12 38 points39 points ago

Completely naked, no other tabs or programs open, desktop background is also porn

[–]manolox70 26 points27 points ago

With a sorround sound system at max volume.

[–]1qaz3edc5tgb 37 points38 points ago

skype auto-answer with video enabled.

[–]jgibson02 0 points1 point ago

With the webcam mounted to the front of your chair.

[–]reimandy 0 points1 point ago

that escalated quickly

[–]laddal 17 points18 points ago

That's like Battletoads difficulty.

[–]mindloss 0 points1 point ago

Battletoads takes longer.

[–]wizerd00 0 points1 point ago

More than one minute.

[–]ConstipatedNinja 16 points17 points ago

In the coffin.

[–]TheWhiteShadow42 5 points6 points ago

I actually fapped at my grandparents' house with the door unlocked and people just outside the door once. I was a horny 13 year old and I was wanting some pleasure, so I went on the computer and opened up redtube. Needless to say I got caught. That was the first and last time I got caught and the last time I looked at porn with people in the house or even fapped with people in the house.

[–]MrGreenBeanz 5 points6 points ago

You can't just end it like that! What happened next?

[–]TheWhiteShadow42 0 points1 point ago

My dad walked in on me fapping. Is that enough, or do you want details?

[–]MrGreenBeanz 0 points1 point ago

Details please.

[–]TheWhiteShadow42 1 point2 points ago

The porn video that I had open was a classic one where the lady still had a bush. I didn't have my pants down, just had my dick out the zipper and the hole of my boxers. Enough details? I can't really think of anything else other than that. My dad's reaction was, "Oh, jeez." He walked out and I zipped up. Then about 5 minutes later he came back and gave me a talk about when I should and shouldn't do that.

[–]eXtreme98 2 points3 points ago

While they watch.

[–]gigantepicante 1 point2 points ago

bullshit

[–]cvtopher12 4 points5 points ago

Come at me bro

[–]gigantepicante 0 points1 point ago

http://i.imgur.com/hDc6O.gif

[–]derekdanger 4 points5 points ago

me, cause i'm an adult and don't live with my parents.

[–]skakruk 1 point2 points ago

All guys that don't let other people use their laptops.

[–]shadyabhi 0 points1 point ago

Earlier when I used to live with parents, I used to use that.

Now, I use https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/historyblock/.

[–]samissleman17 0 points1 point ago

your logins aren't saved. i'm the only person who accesses my computer, so it's more convenient.

[–]sigtrap 0 points1 point ago

Who the fuck actually isn't using separate user accounts by now?

[–]TheTritium 1 point2 points ago

Dude, I have porn on my bookmarks toolbar...

[–]ObliviousIrrelevance[!] 61 points62 points ago

You guys have a diner? Cool.

[–]Astralize 21 points22 points ago

Actually, they were just visiting a diner.

[–]MutantNinjaSquirtle 7 points8 points ago

Talking to your child about his internet habits is always a special occasion!

[–]NickelFish 0 points1 point ago

Pretty freakin' tall diner!

[–]theboneycrony 46 points47 points ago

I'd like to introduce you to this guy I know.

[–]DM7000 47 points48 points ago

This guy has seen so many things....just think about it. He's witnessed the worst of the worst. All fetishes. All the weird kinky things people comes up with....yet he comes back every time. He is always there when we need him. He is a real hero.

Google Chrome Incognito Man....I salute you.

[–]failspy 14 points15 points ago

I've seen this comment before...

[–]DM7000 1 point2 points ago

Honestly you probably have. Knowing Reddit and knowing that I'm not a very creative person I've probably seen this before but I cannot remember when and where So I want to give credit to the soul that first thought of it.

[–]theboneycrony 4 points5 points ago

The hero this city needs.

[–]stbeecher 5 points6 points ago

But not the one we deserved.

I believe in Cognito.

[–]superechidna 31 points32 points ago

Probably would be my reaction too (if I didn't use incognito)

Anyway, upvote for the IT Crowd reference

[–]naidiriv 22 points23 points ago

Also appropriate

[–]neuroghost 7 points8 points ago

Why does James Franco always have that stupid stoned look on his face?

[–]macness234 7 points8 points ago

Because he's high.

[–]nanomagnetic 1 point2 points ago

last i heard, he's not a smoker. that's just james franco.

[–]rathat 9 points10 points ago

Why do you let people look at your computer? Mine is such a private thing, it's like my space.

[–]skakruk 15 points16 points ago

Probably because he's a 15 year old.

[–]Guardian_Jecht[S] 2 points3 points ago

soph in college.

[–]puppymeat 6 points7 points ago

You just took away your only possible excuse.

[–]Daniellynet 0 points1 point ago

Lock your computer when you leave it for extended periods of time.

[–]JoeHazzers 10 points11 points ago

You don't just... lock your computer?

[–]TuriGuiliano 8 points9 points ago

Ctrl+H. Use it.

[–]AlienHook 16 points17 points ago

Ctrl+Shift+N. Hide it.

[–]TuriGuiliano 4 points5 points ago

I'm too lazy to open up a new tab, so I just clear the selected items from my history.

[–]Crazedgoalie56 15 points16 points ago

That seems more labor intensive...

[–]TuriGuiliano 3 points4 points ago

It's easier to do when I'm browsing reddit and I run across an NSFW link.

[–]ngmcs8203 3 points4 points ago

You're welcome.

[–]kolivere 1 point2 points ago

Doesn't it kind of defeat the purpose of going incognito if you have an add on in your extensions list?

[–]ngmcs8203 1 point2 points ago

I don't see why it would? Are you afraid someone is going to investigate your extension list for this extension?

[–]Joseph445 3 points4 points ago

If you use firefox, Ctrl+Shift+P

[–]naturalcauzes 4 points5 points ago

They probably saw you responded to a cannibal's craigslist ad when all you really wanted was a cookery class.

[–]kvdragonslayer 2 points3 points ago

I just watched that episode. Want to watch a film together? He is really a fine young cannibal.

[–]mongzords 2 points3 points ago

When I started this company I had nothing......and £6m.

[–]doot_doot 2 points3 points ago

Telling our son about catching him masturbating whilst out at a diner just seems odd and unusual to me.

[–]mongzords 0 points1 point ago

Karma dude.

[–]DingoBlaze 1 point2 points ago

You'd think your parents would have enough tact to not bring that up when you're out to eat with them.

[–]ServedwithoutShoes 0 points1 point ago

Can someone tell me what movie this is from?

It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember it.

[–]everyonegetsastar 6 points7 points ago

It's a show, called IT Crowd.

[–]Cadaverlanche 1 point2 points ago

Respecting someone's privacy is it's own reward. I have a teenaged son and I would pay good money to not have to see his internet history. That's the last thing I want to know about.

[–]ramp_tram 1 point2 points ago

Why the fuck are you sharing a computer with your parents?

[–]LastChanceAvalanche 0 points1 point ago

YAY I just started watching The IT Crowd so I get the context of this gif.....I get it guys...I get it

[–]shadalator 0 points1 point ago

What happened next?

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK -1 points0 points ago

Your parents know how to do that?

[–]BananNutCreampie 0 points1 point ago

I bet that was awkward for the waitress.

[–]PeanutNore 0 points1 point ago

Checking the Internet history is an odd thing to do while you are having dinner.

[–]SimilarImage 0 points1 point ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
3 weeks HiggyMcBoson As an Atheist with a PhD in Astrophysics and Theology, this is how I feel when talking to fundies. /r/atheism 127 512
3 weeks SaggyBallsHD My wife asked me to go see Magic Mike. /r/funny 232 1164
1 month Jayisonfire How I react when a frient tells me we're dry, with no dealer access for a day. /r/trees 21 201

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[–]EVILSUPERMUTANT 1 point2 points ago

Or ya know, just never keep a history of your searches and make backup of your porn links?

[–]kalennnnn 1 point2 points ago

so you live in a 70 story house?

[–]2joker1 1 point2 points ago

i giggled. idk why youre being downvoted.

[–]kalennnnn 0 points1 point ago

ha appreciate it.

[–]reid- 0 points1 point ago

If that actually happened, please tell the delightful tale of the proceeding events.

[–]AaronM09 0 points1 point ago

Silly OP, that's a company meeting.

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