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all 51 comments

[–]bornagainredditor 61 points62 points ago

"Banana added for scale", lost it!

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 12 points13 points ago

What did you lose? Do you need help finding it?

[–]bornagainredditor 4 points5 points ago

My shit Sir, it is in fact my poop that I've lost

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 5 points6 points ago

My dog probably ate it.

[–]Alatorr 1 point2 points ago

And thus, another "Wiper" was brought into this world.

[–]TJ-sylar 2 points3 points ago

Today I heard my mother in law tell my neice... This is disgusting... you really need to learn to wipe your bum.

[–]joeshrimp11 9 points10 points ago

You know, I think this is the shittiest post on Reddit

[–]JoelLikesPigs 12 points13 points ago

/r/poop would say otherwise

[–]DanielLikesPie 10 points11 points ago

why is that even a subreddit

[–]Pirani 5 points6 points ago

why

[–]StabbityStabMcStab 5 points6 points ago

That's why you need to wipe thoroughly after a poop. Or don't wear white underwear.

[–]Jeffgoldbum 5 points6 points ago

Nah, Sometimes you think its a fart, then bam, you shit your pants.

Cause tacos fuck you thats why.

[–]themightymagikarp 23 points24 points ago

Sometimes I feel that I'm the only person here who hasn't pooped myself!

[–]sgtpppr 9 points10 points ago

Apparently a lot of redditors have bowel disorders and eating anything with more than a milligram of spice makes them shit their pants. It partially explains the smell in this subreddit.

[–]zoomdaddy 0 points1 point ago

Some of us have... <ahem>.. hairy buttocks. Wiping is pretty much useless. Like using a playing car to wipe peanut butter off the carpet. Yeah.

[–]EliteCorps 1 point2 points ago

I feel this belongs to /r/wtf..but I guess it's just me.

[–]wazza1459 3 points4 points ago

One of the best parts about being a Muslim is the obligatory toilet hygiene which means I've (happily) never experienced the skid marks phenomenon.

[–]sp00kyd00m 1 point2 points ago

TIL about the lota. touché, universe. touché.

edit: still makes more sense than 3 seashells.

[–]Ober7 1 point2 points ago

we have been reduced to poop jokes.

[–]trampus1 1 point2 points ago

What does this have to do with being a dad?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Uhhh...this is kid's underwear. The mark all the way up the t-shirt is an important clue.

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

I thought that, but the text suggests it's the dad's.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I hope this is a rhetorical question. Do a lot of adult males blast runny poop up their backs?

[–]trampus1 2 points3 points ago

You've never seen someone shit themselves on a bungee jump.

[–]zoomdaddy 0 points1 point ago

Well, to be fair, it IS an unsolved crime.

[–]stillonthecouch 0 points1 point ago

As someone who works in a hospital and someone who hates puns, that ain't shit on what I seen

[–]blackmatter615 0 points1 point ago

yeah, that slip and slide incident is at worst a 2, maybe 3 alarm shit show. 5 alarm shit shows require a decontamination unit and lots of fire...

[–]nekidasajaybird 1 point2 points ago

Code Brown!

[–]ChasingShad0ws 1 point2 points ago

Good god, even this gets reposted!

[–]Trolled1 1 point2 points ago

Posted to r/poop

[–]UncleDrunkle 1 point2 points ago

I never get how people have skid marks from not wiping their ass. Invest in some wet ones...

[–]electricfoxx 1 point2 points ago

[–]zoomdaddy 0 points1 point ago

Arby's horsey sauce! I should have known!

[–]manly_shade_of_pink 0 points1 point ago

It's amazing how the reading direction affects the perception of things. It took me a while to realize I wasn't looking at a shit-smeared front side of the undies.

[–]Bipedal 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only person here who's never found shit on his underwear?

How does this even happen?

[–]Rat_Bastard 0 points1 point ago

You neen a role model

[–]omnichronos 1 point2 points ago

When I was in elementary school, my younger brother threw his skid marked underwear at the high wall above the stair well of our home. To our fiendish delight they stuck and hung there for several minutes before dropping off and leaving a skid marked wall.

Thanks for the memories!

[–]twifofi 0 points1 point ago

I've seen the dry heave ho before. It was 2nd grade and some kid was allowed to go back into the classroom during recess to get something out of his desk. Somehow he stumbled across some other kids shitty drawers and immediately commenced to screaming and shouting. The teachers ran back into the school and couldn't find him, but instead he came running out of a sidedoor with the shitty underpants on one of those wood rulers. He screamed and chased all the kids around for a good two minutes before one of the teachers grabbed the super soiled undies from him. I never found out who's drawers they were but it was quite the sight seeing that kid chase both students and adults around.

[–]BritishBatman 0 points1 point ago

YAWN, surprised this has got so high, seeing as it's over a month old

[–]salemnov20 -1 points0 points ago

Now, to print this and post it in my school...

[–]Farigiss 0 points1 point ago

What do you have to eat so that your poop doesn't wash off?

[–]Thugaim2135 1 point2 points ago

congratulations kyle, not everybody can be born with a golden butthole.

[–]aphreshcarrot 1 point2 points ago

I actually remember my friend showing me this a week ago.

[–]They_Know -1 points0 points ago

What if it doesn't burn like the cum box?

[–]Roy141 0 points1 point ago

Its funny, because I'm riding in the car with my sister and she just shat herself.

[–]jiminihimini -2 points-1 points ago

reposting faggot

[–]ferjero989 0 points1 point ago

whats with americans not wiping their ass? is it normal for them to poop their underpants?

[–]Bipolarruledout -2 points-1 points ago

There's a reason why the bidet was invented.

[–]VoMONSTERoV -5 points-4 points ago

I laughed for a good 5 minutes strait!!!