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all 78 comments

[–]Koolaidstory 173 points174 points ago

this is some Facebook level shit right here.

[–]jrocboi 32 points33 points ago

jrocboi likes this

[–]thediffrence 1 point2 points ago

know what I'm sayin'

[–]2_cents 11 points12 points ago

[–]Marsdreamer 0 points1 point ago

Shut up, Leonard!

[–]HickoryDickoryDank 14 points15 points ago

Lyk dis if u cry evrytim

[–]smokeybearsb 5 points6 points ago

And he says... NOOOOO

[–]blore40 2 points3 points ago

Not the test tube babies. A single sperm is inserted into the egg.

[–]paul2520 0 points1 point ago

Really?

[–]Splep 68 points69 points ago

The first sperm to reach the egg usually doesn't actually manage to fertilise it. The first few sperm break down the wall of the ovum and one of the "slower" ones makes it through.

[–]I_Want_Answers 32 points33 points ago

The gap between him and the rest of the sperms(?) was so big, he was not only the first to arrive but also the first to get in.

[–]adaminc 20 points21 points ago

Except the sperm that break down the wall of the ovum die in the process.

[–]ruskmatthew 29 points30 points ago

He was such a great swimmer he swam through space and time to reach the goal 3 seconds before the sex even started.

[–]I_am_not_a_black_guy 5 points6 points ago

Nice mental image of his parents right there.

[–]Bassoonapus 1 point2 points ago

Are you black?

[–]blore40 2 points3 points ago

He is the black guy.

[–]Bassoonapus -1 points0 points ago

I wasn't asking you

[–]blore40 0 points1 point ago

If you want private conversations go to Omegle or PM the users.

[–]tonterias 0 points1 point ago

That's tragic. Sounds as Russians in WW2.

[–]Null_Reference_ 3 points4 points ago

So the very first thing all of us do is take credit for someone else's work? This explains much.

[–]DexterKillsMrWhite 0 points1 point ago

Reddits the ovum op gets here first but reposters get the karma.

[–]SpringInJapan 1 point2 points ago

To expand, the first few million break down the ovum.

[–]blore40 2 points3 points ago

It is like the Normandy beach landings.

[–]ryumast3r 0 points1 point ago

Stalingrad.

[–]cockdragon -4 points-3 points ago

TIL

[–]chimpfunkz -5 points-4 points ago

Dwight needs to be saying this

[–]HickoryDickoryDank 87 points88 points ago

Technically that is the first known picture of everyone.

[–]bigbobo33 47 points48 points ago

Technically, that isn't a picture.

[–]hitlersshit 30 points31 points ago

Technically it is...

[–]Ree81 17 points18 points ago

Technically, it's only a picture of half of everyone, as the other half of the persons DNA is located in the egg.

[–]Bass_Drop 1 point2 points ago

Technically it's not a photograph.

...Or are those still the same thing?

[–]HickoryDickoryDank -1 points0 points ago

Touché

[–]SomeFokkerTookMyName 5 points6 points ago

No, that's Fencing you're thinking of.

[–]Godtiermasturbator 1 point2 points ago

Cmon let him have this, man

[–]blore40 1 point2 points ago

Who is selling stolen sperm?

[–]thehammerofdemacia 0 points1 point ago

Not me... *whistles and walks away trying to act normal.

[–]Mcflexington 1 point2 points ago

Yes it is.

[–]Thadenvy 4 points5 points ago

Except for fraternal twins...

[–]tonterias 0 points1 point ago

[–]wiithepiiple 17 points18 points ago

"OH YES OH YE...I think I'm pregnant."

[–]Raziel66 1 point2 points ago

This kills the boner.

[–]xMrChuckles 13 points14 points ago

[–]Scrubtanic 8 points9 points ago

TIL Michael Phelps evolved from a tilda and a bullet point

  • ~

[–]mark_wooten 0 points1 point ago

That's the first time that I've ever seen in it writing. I vaguely recall that we pronounced it as "tildy" in school so I assumed that the spelling followed suit.

Of course, I'm Texan, and we generally tend to butcher pronunciations.

[–]Scrubtanic 1 point2 points ago

Pretty sure I've heard it called either/or, don't know if one is more correct. You could be right.

[–]NextName 0 points1 point ago

It's pronounced "TILL-day."

[–]liberalis 0 points1 point ago

Tilde correct, Tilda not correct, Tildy not correct.

[–]vote4petro -2 points-1 points ago

IS THAT WHAT ~ IS CALLED WHAT

[–]Chaytup 0 points1 point ago

yes

[–]Gorignak 0 points1 point ago

It's a tilde.

[–]GrayStudios 9 points10 points ago

HA. IT'S TOPICAL. BECAUSE OLYMPICS. HA HA HA.

[–]gheost 2 points3 points ago

~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~•

[–]penultimator 1 point2 points ago

That's a race we all win.

[–]cypressious 3 points4 points ago

For a brief moment I thought this was the first photo of me.

[–]Crossthebreeze 2 points3 points ago

I thought it was morse code at first.

[–]Annatto 1 point2 points ago

I say his father's balls deserve some sort of award as well

[–]rAtheismSelfPostOnly 0 points1 point ago

Good to see same jokes

[–]galvana 0 points1 point ago

I dont think I had seen this before phelps' first Olympics. Of course, that was eight years ago.

[–]thatscentaurtainment 1 point2 points ago

If you look closely you can see sperm Michael Phelps giving the finger to the losing sperm.

[–]artisticchipmunk 2 points3 points ago

Actually, ALL of the mitochondria, the cell organelles that produce energy, come the the egg, as the mitochondria in the sperm reside in the tall and don't become apart of the zygote.

[–]aleatorictelevision -1 points0 points ago

does instagram have a 16mm filter now?

[–]mugmykarma[S] -1 points0 points ago

As a matter of fact I did get this off of instagram. Thought it belonged here.

[–]modeltq 0 points1 point ago

Well it takes thousands of sperm to break down the walls of the egg until one can fertilize it.

[–]blore40 0 points1 point ago

He must have kicked very hard between swimming laps in the womb.

[–]IWantYourGuitar 0 points1 point ago

Can't it be the first known picture of anybody ever born?

[–]Louis_CKs_Dick_in_my 0 points1 point ago

[–]yaten_ko 0 points1 point ago

Which one? the one in second place? 8D

[–]RiceRemix 0 points1 point ago

Well I hate to be the one, but it's usually not the first sperm that wins but the one that waits in the back while the ones ahead do the work

[–]slyth3r0wl 0 points1 point ago

All I'm seeing is morse code.

N N N

N N N N

N N N

[–]Iamalsoadeer 0 points1 point ago

Actually the first known picture of everyone who has ever lived. We were all the best swimmers.

[–]Onelife11 0 points1 point ago

Technically, this is the first picture known of all of us...

[–]policies94 0 points1 point ago

For a brief moment I thought this was the first photo of me.

[–]chemicalbro13 0 points1 point ago

This is retarded because everyone that was born of natural causes was the front runner in the sperm race of life....so we were all the strongest of millions.

[–]Typlo 1 point2 points ago

For any person alive it's basically the first known picture.

[–]SveNss0N -4 points-3 points ago

[–]Le_cookie -2 points-1 points ago

that race, looks familiar :O

[–]doctor_why 0 points1 point ago

Is he the one cumming in fourth?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]jcmc2112 4 points5 points ago

It's kind of difficult not to...