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870
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the French army knife (imgur.com)

submitted ago by arthemys

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[–]Lulu9999 40 points41 points ago

French here, this is a real french army knife http://collectioncouteau.free.fr/TATOO%202009%5B640x480%5D.JPG But guess it's less funny. Seeing the argument coming about world war 2 I Could mention stories my Grandmother told me about how it was to live during the german occupation but i guess I'll stick to the stereotype and just run away.

[–]CarlaSimian 4 points5 points ago

Not far from me the town of Nontron, in the Dordogne is having it's annual knife festival (next week I think)

The knives made in Nontron are beautiful and simple.

http://www.couteaux-nontron.fr/

And never forget Opinel knives: dirt cheap, sold everywhere and a carbon steel bleade, not stainless. Most frenchmen in the countryside have one in their pocket.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opinel_knife

[–]nodefect 0 points1 point ago

Yep, either an Opinel or a Laguiole which has some versions with a corkscrew.

[–]EnhancementShaman 1 point2 points ago

How can you not stick to the stereotype when your army knife has a corkscrew?

[–]ScanExam 0 points1 point ago

Where do you keep your mandatory speedo?

[–]Old-Ben-Kenobi -1 points0 points ago

It's just a joke man. We also laugh when people upvote pics like this.

[–]Eraser1024 -5 points-4 points ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupation_of_Poland

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warsaw_Uprising

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wola_massacre

etc.

I'm not saying that German occupation of France was a walk in the park.

edit: Why I'm getting downvoted? I really didn't want to be disrespectful for French victims of ww2. I'm sorry if my post sounded so.

Reddiquette says: "Consider posting constructive criticism / an explanation when you downvote something, but only if you really think it might help the poster improve."

[–]Jim808 24 points25 points ago

Name one country that would not have surrendered to the Germans in WWII if it were physically adjacent to Germany and under their direct attack? There are none.

[–]AhhhClem 4 points5 points ago

Freedonia.

[–]Cabbage_Vendor 2 points3 points ago

Not to mention that they had just recovered from terrible losses and focused on rebuilding their infrastructure, not their armies.

[–]scootypuffjr33 4 points5 points ago

None of their neighbors actually had a military.

[–]charest 5 points6 points ago

The french were said to have a bigger and a better army than the germans. Their strategies were outdated and, in their head, they were still fighting a conventionnal trench warfare.

[–]lambdaguy 0 points1 point ago

plus the lack of radio on the allied side didn't help

[–]WiseGuy1020 4 points5 points ago

Well just because the Germans didn't have the balls to invade Switzerland didn't mean the Swiss would have capitulated if they had. National Redoubt

And everyone expected France to hold out longer than just six weeks.

[–]mehitcanwait 0 points1 point ago

The Maginot Line actually did it's job. The Germans never assaulted it. Instead, they decided to bypass it and invaded Belgium and Netherlands. Most of the French forces were on the Maginot Line when war broke out.

I myself am American but feel as if the French are bashed way more than they should be. Look back on ALL of history and we see that many military geniuses came from France and that the French Army in general is very capable. The Germans simply overwhelmed them before France got a fighting chance.

Imagine if you will, that... say Mexico.... were to invent teleportation technology and use it against the US and quickly assumed control of major US strategic points and forced the US to surrender... Do you blame the US for not being able to respond quickly enough and handle the situation? Or do you think, "Hey, the Mexicans used their superior tactics and forced the US to surrender when they didn't want to give up the fight."

Let the downvotes commence for breaking the stereotype...

[–]WiseGuy1020 0 points1 point ago

Except the Germans had nothing that technically superior.

[–]Evedean1 0 points1 point ago

Actually it did fail, if the French wanted to stop Hitler from invading, they needed a more offensive approach, by using their defensive strategy, they pretty much invited them in.

[–]elbruce 1 point2 points ago

That's because everybody expected the Maginot Line to actually work.

[–]WiseGuy1020 1 point2 points ago

Cough, cough Ardennes cough, cough

The French assumed tanks and vehicles couldn't get through. They were wrong.

That's why they put up a six week fight. Most of their troops were in flanders and got cut off.

[–]CobraStallone 1 point2 points ago

Maybe just the USSR.

[–]iLuv3M3 -1 points0 points ago

Maginot Line

France just made poor decisions from the start following WWI. If I do recall though wasn't there a form of French Soldiers who fought for Germany? Besides that though, a previous poster a while back made a post of how the French Navy was fleeing. The Allies were worried that Germany would take the French Navy ships so ordered the French to either surrender their ships or fight..French were mostly stubborn causing an amount of unnecessary Casualties.

Honestly though there are weird things for all sides during WW2 such as Exercise Tiger

The French more so became a "joke" to everyone following their later events of backing out of things like Vietnam or Americas current conflicts. It is still a shame when people say America had no right to be in Vietnam without mentioning or really taking notice that the French were occupying it, failed and are an added factor to the war. Shame they don't really mention it much and America takes the wrap for the conflict.

[–]WiseGuy1020 1 point2 points ago

I think the thing that pissed everyone off was when DeGaulle left NATO and kicked out all the Americans out of France. SecState Dean Rusk reportedly replied "Does that include the dead Americans in military cemeteries as well?"

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]markevens 41 points42 points ago

    It still surprises me that people forget that without France's military help, the USofA would never have gained independence.

    [–]MK_Ultrex 6 points7 points ago

    French hate by Americans always surprises me too. The American constitution is based on French ideas, the French helped the American independence war and even gave them the fucking Statue of Liberty made by fucking Alec Eiffel (pioneer of aerodynamics). If anything France should be the buddy of the US and not the UK.

    [–]Crunktopus 0 points1 point ago

    More Italian (Renneseince) and Iroquois.

    [–]jedadkins 1 point2 points ago

    we dont hate the french

    [–]MK_Ultrex 1 point2 points ago

    I am not sure what you mean by "we". Surely there is a lot of Americans that make fun of the French and breed animosity when they don't kiss America's ass (Freedom Fries? WTF). At the same time I have not seen anything similar towards the UK despite having more historical reasons to mock them.

    [–]funkymoose 0 points1 point ago

    I am well aware of that, and bring it up all the time when people start to get mean about French bashing, however it's fun to have a good laugh about the French sometimes as long as your just joking around. Plus I've always heard they're a bit of dicks to us if you visit France, so I figure it's a fair trade.

    [–]JCCR90 2 points3 points ago

    Maybe because Americans are the worst tourists. I've had more than a couple facepalms after overhearing US tourists.

    [–]jedadkins 3 points4 points ago

    Tourists just seem universally stupid in my book, or maybe we both just remember the bad ones better

    [–]Ofthedoor 1 point2 points ago

    A Scottish friend in a bus on its way to Heathrow overheard an American tourist as she was looking at a castle visible from the freeway;" Oh wow! But why did they have to build it so close to the airport?".

    [–]Ponzer 1 point2 points ago

    To be honest, you are just purporting another stereotype. imo, all tourists are equally annoying and stupid.

    [–]WiseGuy1020 1 point2 points ago

    Maybe because Americans are the worst tourists

    Bullshit. As every European private bus driver knows, that title goes to the Japanese.

    [–]angryxpeh 1 point2 points ago

    You haven't seen Russians then.

    [–]greengopher5 0 points1 point ago

    ive been to france and i can confirm this

    [–]Evinn 66 points67 points ago

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_France I'll just leave this here.

    [–]Meezor 9 points10 points ago

    Interestingly enough, the plain white flag became a sign of surrender while it was the symbol of the French Kingdom ; except the French didn't used it as such, but their enemies did as a sign of acknowledgement of the military superiority of the French on the battlefield. And the symbol stuck.

    [–]commanderspoonface 6 points7 points ago

    Cannot confirm this through research. It looks like the White Flag as a form of surrender originated in Rome.

    [–]Evinn 9 points10 points ago

    TIL the French were so badass they forced others to invent the white flag of surrender.

    [–]SummerDays 3 points4 points ago

    Mhmm, interesting.... Anglo-Saxons, a Germanic tribe that built England, which built the British Empire. Franks a Germanic tribe that built France. Germany, no shit is full of Germanic people. German Americans is the largest ethnic group in the U.S. I think I see a trend with Germanic people here....

    [–]Evinn 6 points7 points ago

    Germanic people is a broad term, but you do have a point.

    [–]Cabbage_Vendor 2 points3 points ago

    To be fair, Germany doesn't have more to do with Germanic than other European countries, it's Deutschland. They don't just have Germanic origin but also Celtic, Slavic etc.

    [–]SummerDays -1 points0 points ago

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germanic_peoples

    [–]Cabbage_Vendor 0 points1 point ago

    Congrats, you linked a wikipedia page relevant to what I said... Atleast be less of a lazy bum by telling what point you're trying to get across.

    load more comments (22 replies)

      [–]stopmotionporn 99 points100 points ago

      Without clicking the link: let me guess, its a pocket knife with a load of white flags that you can pull out. Ho ho ho, how droll.

      edit: close enough.

      [–]Harkonen_inc 10 points11 points ago

      Figured on a cheese knife in there with the cork screws.

      [–]sp00kyd00m 4 points5 points ago

      and a cigarette lighter

      load more comments (4 replies)

        [–]wdejr 6 points7 points ago

        You sound quite expert in French antiques. Might I interest you in an antique French rifle I purchased in Paris? Never fired, dropped once.

        [–][deleted] ago

        [deleted]

        [–]myhandsarebananas 11 points12 points ago

        You realize that it would just be a Nobel Prize for humor, and not a Nobel Peace Prize for humor, right? I mean you don't win the Nobel Prize for Chemistry for poetry.

        [–]4347 0 points1 point ago

        Best i can do is 3 dollars ive gotta make a profit here look at the dust on it

        [–]jbalto 1 point2 points ago

        Thats very pawny of u

        [–]Peuned 2 points3 points ago

        Maybe our american knife can just be a burning blade that firebombs a civilian history, call it the Dresden.

        While we're picking and choosing.

        This is not very witty.

        Im familywise south indian, whenever (doesnt happen often) does some retarded Apu joke or bad accent to my face, i just mock them for being witless and unoriginal.

        Because they usually are just using simpsons jokes from the 90s.

        [–]TijuanaTacoMonster 6 points7 points ago

        please

        we were making 7-11 Punjab jokes long before Akpu

        [–]Ofthedoor 1 point2 points ago

        I don't disagree with you but know that the bombing of Dresden was a 100% British idea.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Dresden_in_World_War_II

        [–]charest 16 points17 points ago

        Not a single comment supporting the joke but 300+upvotes.

        [–]godless_communism 2 points3 points ago

        It's a little token rhetorical tool American conservatives pass around among themselves. It requires no actual thought, just innervation.

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]xXRaposaXx 5 points6 points ago

          I don't get the surrender shit,ever heard about Camerone or Bazeille etc...

          [–]jedadkins 1 point2 points ago

          its just a joke

          load more comments (29 replies)

            [–]godless_communism 10 points11 points ago

            Wow, this shit never gets old (apparently).

            851 up-votes. Wow.

            [–]n17ikh 8 points9 points ago

            Says you. There's no foil cutter! You can't open a bottle of wine without a foil cutter!

            [–]rumnscurvy 1 point2 points ago

            You can use the corkscrew tip to cut the foil. It's slow, but it works.

            [–]Ofthedoor 2 points3 points ago

            http://i.imgur.com/gwcgG.jpg

            [–]Danielcdo 18 points19 points ago

            HAHAHA , thats so le funny ... not

            [–]whiteboywasted99 4 points5 points ago

            No cigarette lighter?

            [–]Beau_Vine 2 points3 points ago

            Funny thing is, French army field-utensils actually include a wine cork.

            [–]Crprtmthrfckr 2 points3 points ago

            Damn french and their inability to wage war

            [–]ranger51 12 points13 points ago

            Mandatory War Nerd refute:

            "the notion that the French are cowards is total bullshit, and anybody who knows anything about European military history knows damn well that over the past thousand years, the French have the most glorious military history in Europe, maybe the world"

            http://www.exile.ru/articles/detail.php?ARTICLE_ID=7061&IBLOCK_ID=35

            [–]gnomishmidgets 4 points5 points ago

            Us british respectfully call this poppycock! poppycock i say!

            [–]AhhhClem 1 point2 points ago

            That is a kind of popcorn candy you know.

            [–]gnomishmidgets 1 point2 points ago

            Sounds delicious

            [–]cheapdrinks 3 points4 points ago

            Where's the cigarette?

            [–]UnluckyTamper -1 points0 points ago

            army knife: after ww2. napoleon did not have one

            [–]gnomishmidgets -2 points-1 points ago

            Napoleon wasn't french.

            [–]AhhhClem 0 points1 point ago

            He was a pastry.

            [–]generalchase 1 point2 points ago

            True but in the same way Hitler wasn't German.

            [–]frystes 0 points1 point ago

            Hey ! you forgot the cheese, bread, and the small Effeil tower just to ensure the total clichée !

            [–]goldenjuicebox 1 point2 points ago

            More like Italian.

            [–]kefen 1 point2 points ago

            French here, and it still made me laugh. Needs more cheese, though!

            [–]TeRRoR503 0 points1 point ago

            The cainadian one says "Sorry" on it

            [–]phantamines 1 point2 points ago

            You are SO funny. It's like France doesn't want a military to bully around the world. Weird.

            [–]talan123 6 points7 points ago

            Um, yeah. The whole colonization thing was a myth.

            [–]WiseGuy1020 -1 points0 points ago

            Actually France recently has had the balls to use their military when it sees fit.

            Ask the Somalians.

            [–]TijuanaTacoMonster 0 points1 point ago

            was hoping for a Sabatier

            [–]Mysterious_Stranger7 -1 points0 points ago

            As for the corkscrews, I figured those would fit Russia or Ireland more than France.

            [–]scootypuffjr33 1 point2 points ago

            France drinks wine. Russia, vodka. Ireland, beer. Only need a corkscrew for wine.

            [–]Mysterious_Stranger7 0 points1 point ago

            Hmm this is good to know. I had previously seen a similar post with a knife of all corkscrews and labeling it on Russia, so naturally I was curious.

            [–]AhhhClem 1 point2 points ago

            Vodka bottles have caps that cannot be replaced. Once open ...

            [–]Mysterious_Stranger7 0 points1 point ago

            As I am not a vodka drinker, I was unaware until I verified a little while ago. You learn something new everyday

            load more comments (11 replies)

              [–]Color_blinded 0 points1 point ago

              It's missing the bread knife.

              [–]keroro117 0 points1 point ago

              People seem to forget that napoleon spent the better part of a decade running up and down Europe kicking everybody's asses...

              [–]MealyDucard 0 points1 point ago

              All for wine, and wine for all!

              [–]Capps14e -1 points0 points ago

              They won't plunge their country into a pointless war thus contributing greatly to their economic ruin? What assholes!

              [–]Qwertyon 0 points1 point ago

              There should definetely be at least one cheese knife in there.

              [–]sirfeckoff 0 points1 point ago

              Looks just like Canada's! Must be why there are so many French Canadians...

              [–]toxinogen 1 point2 points ago

              Canada actually entered WWII way before America, and they pretty much raped Germany for most of the war.

              [–]probablyanorange 0 points1 point ago

              Hey, have you READ The Three Musketeers?

              Fuckers know how to fight. At least in books.

              [–]EAVBERBWF 1 point2 points ago

              the french have won more wars then they have lost

              [–]Huckorris 1 point2 points ago

              Yea, the swiss were way more involved in WW II. lol.

              [–]toxinogen 0 points1 point ago

              If by involved you mean they shot down any planes that flew over them whether they were Axis or Allied, then, yes, they were very involved.

              [–]sotech 0 points1 point ago

              Nevermind that during World War I the French civilian and military deaths were well over a million and a half people. You may also wish to consult a map to determine which countries were most immediately in the shit during both World Wars.

              source

              [–]archonmk 1 point2 points ago

              Seeing the downvotes on these post we now know the French lack a sense of humor.

              [–]tenkei 0 points1 point ago

              I haven't looked at the picture yet, but I am assuming that it includes wine opener and a white flag...

              [–]elbruce 1 point2 points ago

              France: kicks massive ass for many hundreds of years all over Europe, only ever loses two wars (Waterloo, WWII) and gets called pussies forever after.

              [–]secretvictory 0 points1 point ago

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBhyXkuQtD0

              [–]clunystationsweet 0 points1 point ago

              throughout history the French army has more victories then defeats so I always feel a little bad for them

              [–]Stukos 0 points1 point ago

              the French repost knife

              [–]DoctorChompa 0 points1 point ago

              Quoting Homer Simpson "Cheese-eating surrender monkeys". Downvote the fuck out of me you bitches. I went to Paris and their beer fucking sucked!

              [–][deleted] ago

              [deleted]

              [–]LincolnSt -1 points0 points ago

              So the country who saved America's ass when we needed it most is now considered wimpy and cowardly, because they wisely refused to join us in Iraq? Fuck this shit

              Now? The "France = cowards" stereotype has been around long before the Iraq war...

              [–]drmc_coy 1 point2 points ago

              That was easy. Now try to find a book with "Italian Tales of Heroism".

              [–]AhhhClem 1 point2 points ago

              Without the French we would still be part of the Empire here in the US. What happened in WW2 had more to do with their location right next to, you know, The Third Reich than a lack of will on the part of the people. Not extending the Maginot Line all the way was a huge mistake but as they say hindsight is 20/20.

              Je suis un homme-grenouille. Ribbit ribbit.

              [–]WiseGuy1020 1 point2 points ago

              Without the French we would still be part of the Empire here in the US

              I don't know about still. Canada, India, Australia, etc...

              France's WWII mistake was not defending the Ardennes.

              After overrunning Holland, Belgium, and Luxembourg, Germany turned against France, entering the country through the Ardennes on May 13—the French had made the fatal mistake of leaving this area almost totally undefended, believing its terrain to be impassable for tanks and other vehicles. Most Allied forces were in Flanders, anticipating a re-run of the World War I Schlieffen Plan, and were cut off from the French mainland. As a result of this, and also the superior German communications and tactics, the Battle of France was shorter than virtually all prewar Allied thought could have conceived. It lasted six weeks, including the Luftwaffe bombing of Paris June 3, after which France surrendered on June 22.

              [–]AhhhClem 0 points1 point ago

              It's the Commonwealth now but still under the influence. I would have a problem with seeing Charles's face on my coins, scary that.

              I live near an army base and occasionally see people reading commentaries of old battles with the maps with the symbols of mechanized, artillery, and whathaveyou divisions moving back and forth. Out on base along with all the helicopters and tanks rumbling about there is one old Russian missile launcher that needs a ring job that spews oil smoke still out there somewhere. I used to find fiberglass commies with AK47s out in the woods where I would ride my motorcycle. I wanted to move one to the bushes at the barracks but was afraid I would get caught. Abandoned in place is the nomenclature. The glory of war. Glad I didn't join; damn sand gets in everything.

              [–]lythandas 1 point2 points ago

              Fuck you ! Yes we like wine but fuck you anyways !

              [–]WillTrivium 0 points1 point ago

              Clicked on this hoping... "Please be a white flag, please be a white flag... YES! Called it! Haha, upvote!".

              [–]LpShyGuy -1 points0 points ago

              Does this mean french people like to screw around alot?

              [–]brootwarst 0 points1 point ago

              FWD:FWD:RE:FWD:RE:FWD:FWD:RE:RE:RE:FWD:RE:SO FUNNY XD

              [–]JavaMoose -2 points-1 points ago

              NEVER FORGET.

              [–]snowy247 -2 points-1 points ago

              It'll probably fall apart within a couple of uses aswell

              [–]betterpc -2 points-1 points ago

              Oh, I remember where I've seen this one! It was advertised in this magazine.

              [–]Ofthedoor 0 points1 point ago

              The magazine of choice for obese, uneducated and sexually frustrated Americans.

              [–]micfury11 -5 points-4 points ago

              So we can't say nigger this nigger that but when it comes to the french everyone be racist ?

              load more comments (16 replies)

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