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top 200 commentsshow all 274

[–]Tagard_McStone 99 points100 points ago

Mista Freeman, WHa If I Toud You....

[–]helicalhell 10 points11 points ago

Tha at this vary momen, thousans of Reddituss Ah...

[–]Ex_Digg_User 439 points440 points ago

You know how sometimes you fake laugh when someone tells a shitty joke? If I had been there, and the joke had been shitty, I would've fake laughed myself into a coma.

[–]NotaMethAddict 138 points139 points ago

If I was any of them I would walk around telling terrible jokes so I could watch all of the awkward forced laughs I get.

[–]Light-of-Aiur 53 points54 points ago

If you were any of those men, I wouldn't be able to laugh at your shitty joke: I'd be grinning like a loon the whole time.

[–]Random_pants 42 points43 points ago

[–]Mesthione 13 points14 points ago

This show and Louie make me squirm in my seat with awkwardness. Even though I know they are fake, the superb acting and sober, straight faces make it great/unbearable!

[–]dutch010 4 points5 points ago

His voice can ravage buildings.

[–]boozles 2 points3 points ago

Oh deer god.

[–]metalmusic 6 points7 points ago

Do you really think it's possible for any one of those men to utter anything that isn't the greatest thing ever spoken?

[–]IndooTime 3 points4 points ago

What if it was a "YO MAMA" joke?

[–]taybagg88 12 points13 points ago

Then it would be a classy "YO MAMA" joke

[–]TheLastBadger 12 points13 points ago

A YO YO MA joke?

[–]Viin 7 points8 points ago

Yo mama do classy she makes Morgan freeman look like a member of the jersey shore.

[–]Gary_the_Goatfucker 6 points7 points ago

Explosionhead.jpg

[–]Chrisv56 1 point2 points ago

Any ideas on how long that coma would last?

[–]CmndrSalamander 12 points13 points ago

Upwards of at least forever

[–]Chrisv56 1 point2 points ago

Oh my lanta

[–]falkes 131 points132 points ago

"...but you fuck ONE sheep..."

[–]Sariel007 14 points15 points ago

Oh, Séamus...

[–]Harkonen_inc 42 points43 points ago

This is not the greatest joke ever told, this is but a tribute.

[–]willthetroll1097 0 points1 point ago

YES

[–]FallopianRaider 8 points9 points ago

It was originally 'goat'...its always been 'goat'. I await downvotes for this Nazi comment.

[–]XanderWaterman 4 points5 points ago

I heard goat first. This is my favorite joke ever. Something like, "I built all those houses they don't call me Tony The House builder yada yada etc. etc. but you fuck one goat..."

[–]t_hab 0 points1 point ago

Source?

[–]DaddyDanceParty 28 points29 points ago

I keep forgetting that these men were all in the same movie once.

[–]Cphilli45 28 points29 points ago

Twice.

[–]timberwolfe 2 points3 points ago

I'll probably kick myself when I hear which ones, but I can't think of them. What two movies?

[–]ALL_CAPS 86 points87 points ago

"The Sandlot" and "Jurassic Park"

[–]myhandsarebananas 30 points31 points ago

I'm embarrassed to admit I believed you for about a tenth of a second.

[–]Boomer7491 30 points31 points ago

Batman Begins and TDKR.

[–]timberwolfe 6 points7 points ago

Ah fuck. I should've known that. Always forget that Neeson is in those.

[–]akakaze 15 points16 points ago

[–]Radical3 11 points12 points ago

I think the downvotes are for spoilers. Not that I agree, but you might want to black that out

"[text](/spoiler" with an end parenthesis after the word spoiler

[–]akakaze 7 points8 points ago

Ah, sorry, I'm usually the last one to see something and haven't had to worry about spoilers in a few years.

[–]BCP6J9YqYF6xDbB3 1 point2 points ago

I haven't seen it yet.

[–]downvotesarefunny 85 points86 points ago

Considering that they're actors I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually a really dirty joke

[–]JonBanes 16 points17 points ago

hopefully in limerick form

[–]rprebel 8 points9 points ago

As a former actor (no, really), I can confirm this.

[–]downvotesarefunny 4 points5 points ago

Theater folk of all design have all the best dirty jokes.

[–]wintron 14 points15 points ago

Im not sure I follow. do actors tell dirtier jokes?

[–]downvotesarefunny 34 points35 points ago

Yes, they do

[–]Nervette 28 points29 points ago

Not only that, but old men tell the dirtiest jokes. Older male actors? I can only assume it was filthy.

[–]Noobtsar 3 points4 points ago

Shot we cannot even fathom.

[–]VogeGandire 21 points22 points ago

"...THE ARISTOCRATS!"

[–]Satans_pro_tips 7 points8 points ago

I believe downvotesarefunny meant that playing classy characters doesn't make them classy people. But you would be better served consulting your local celebrity tabloid for more accurate information.

[–]downvotesarefunny 5 points6 points ago

Actually, I wasn't being that insightful at all. Although you do make a good observation.

[–]wintron 0 points1 point ago

Oh, I know this too well. I recently watched all 11 seasons of Frasier only to discover Kelsey Grammer has quite the sordid past. Of course, Frasier was a multiple divorcee and had a drinking problem so I guess it wasn't too far off the mark

[–]Shadax 2 points3 points ago

The Aristocrats!

/thread

[–]sniffles_snort 5 points6 points ago

An Irishman, a cockney east ender, and a black dude from the American south.

Not sure it needs to be classy.

[–]downvotesarefunny 1 point2 points ago

Heh. Heh heh. When you put it that way I want to have overheard that conversation even more now.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

I've seen this one years ago, and the punchlines associated with them were anything but classy.

[–]NotaMethAddict 210 points211 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
To be a fly on the wall in this bar 15coms 81pts 12dys movies
And then I told Christian "You'll win an Oscar for Batman". 1com 13pts 3mos pics
The most charisma I've ever seen in one place 281coms 1071pts 4mos pics
three gods sharing a drink 74coms 346pts 8mos pics
As much charisma as can be fit into one photo 192coms 709pts 11mos pics
Must've been a pretty good joke... 22coms 126pts 11mos pics
This might be the greatest picture ever taken inside a bar 5coms 11pts 1yr pics
The most charisma I've ever seen in one place [FIXED] 202coms 853pts 4mos funny
Probably the classiest joke ever told.. 327coms 994pts 1yr pics
Just some guys 8coms 41pts 5mos pics
The classiest joke 5coms 147pts 1hr funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Bryz_ 101 points102 points ago

The Great Wall of Reposts.

[–]Jrcrouch92 14 points15 points ago

my favorite was the one posted an hour before with an eerily similar title.

[–]I_dont_feel_tardy 24 points25 points ago

I think that's this one, fool!

[–]wackyninja 3 points4 points ago

The third from the bottom has a similar name too.

[–]Supertrinko 5 points6 points ago

Isn't it redundant to put " 15coms " when you've already titled the column "comnts"? Just seems you could make it a bit tidier.

[–]rellimnahtan 4 points5 points ago

Why not get onto him for doing the same in the "points" column? Are you just selectively critical?

[–]Supertrinko 2 points3 points ago

Because I have confidence he would think of that himself, just as you did.

[–]crustation 0 points1 point ago

More importantly, what is it sorted by?

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus -1 points0 points ago

Gets me every time.

[–]gregorfodrotski 20 points21 points ago

"So I fucked her in the shitter."

-Michael Caine

[–]eifersucht12a 31 points32 points ago

"The Aristocrats!"

[–]wiggen_tree 1 point2 points ago

"...But I thought 'Fuck it, dick or no dick I've paid 1000 baht' and I turned 'im over an dun im anyway..."

[–]Sariel007 3 points4 points ago

Told in Gilbert Gottfried's voice.

[–]tchiseen 38 points39 points ago

"so I farted in her mouth!"

[–]EminGH 24 points25 points ago

"...and that's how the horse gave me herpes."

[–]oSand 7 points8 points ago

Not a lot of people know that.

[–]misteranthrope 7 points8 points ago

But you know it sounded like this.

[–]skeptical_reticle -1 points0 points ago

Favorited.

[–]RenderedUnwhole 6 points7 points ago

After seeing this image many times over the years, it only now just hit me that all three of them are in Nolan's Batman series.

[–]FartingBob 0 points1 point ago

And yet we were never treated to a scene with all 3 of them together.

[–]bigman250 13 points14 points ago

So Alfred, God , and Liam Neeson walk into a bar....... I forget the rest but don't worry it's funny.

[–]timberwolfe 5 points6 points ago

Neeson has played god too

[–]bigman250 4 points5 points ago

I know that but you can't have two gods in the same joke

[–]myhandsarebananas 6 points7 points ago

So Osiris and Thor walk into a bar...

[–]Kalontas 2 points3 points ago

Ancient Greeks disagree.

[–]timberwolfe 1 point2 points ago

Good point. I just thought it was noteworthy. I still would've picked another epic role for him, since you didn't use the actors names for the other two. Too bad his character in taken doesn't have a well known/remembered name, that was badass.

[–]bigman250 4 points5 points ago

I know but when I see a movie with him in it, I don't care about the characters name, I go " Holy shit that's Liam fucking Neeson" gotta watch it now

[–]Bear_Masta 1 point2 points ago

Qui-gon Jinn? many people dislike the movie, but it's hardly little-known.

[–]ussbaney 1 point2 points ago

No No, it's: Alfred, God, and Qui-Gon Jinn walk into a bar......

[–]get_out_of_town 4 points5 points ago

You dont GET to hear the joke.

[–]CthulhuMessiah 2 points3 points ago

You are not worthy.

[–]Cash5YR 5 points6 points ago

It was totally a dick joke.

[–]CPKsJimboslice 4 points5 points ago

Ra's Al Ghul had finally begun to turn Batman's own allies against him

[–]Nukemarine 6 points7 points ago

Oh, I know this joke:

Michael Cain, Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson were seated at the bar in a tavern. Anne Hathaway sat at the table near them.

Michael Cain said, "I think it's WOOMB." Morgan Freeman corrects him and says, "No, it must be WOOOOMBH." Liam Neeson is an expert and says, "No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB."

At this, Anne Hathaway could stand it no longer. She got up, walked over to the men and said, "Look, you jerks, it's WOMB. That's it, that's all there is to it." Then she left.

Eventually, Liam Neeson broke the silence by saying, "Well, I don't know. A slip of a girl like that, I'll bet she's never even heard an elephant fart!"

[–]picsoritneverhappend 0 points1 point ago

hilarious!

[–]RichardManuel 26 points27 points ago

Titty sprinkles?

[–]timberwolfe 7 points8 points ago

Huh, I guess this joke still gets upvotes.

[–]treefox 10 points11 points ago

[–]BunnyPenny 4 points5 points ago

Classiest or the dirtiest. Can't you imagine a baaaaaad joke in that accent?

[–]wdejr 2 points3 points ago

The Joke: "What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with dysentery?

One shucks between its fits

[–]Mehworth 7 points8 points ago

Since Michael Caine is clearly the one telling the joke, I'd imagine it went something like this:

"So 'eer I yam, summin' up the apples and pears and I say 'Wuf's this, the tea and dribble?'"

[–]dailybean2012 1 point2 points ago

Ashamed to say that I actually read that in his voice.

[–]Shadax 2 points3 points ago

"The Aristocrats!

[–]TheAmishSpaceCadet 1 point2 points ago

"...So i say, 'sure I'll make sure your son doesn't get into any trouble Mr. Wayne' "

[–]Eyshld21sn 2 points3 points ago

" So I said to them ' if you take his daughter I swear Liam will lose his shit"

[–]I_Gargled_Jarate 1 point2 points ago

Two butlers and a jedi walk into a bar...

[–]wizsplat 1 point2 points ago

Having seen this photograph uncountable times, I have finally brought myself to ask: is there any way we can discover what comedic gem these gentlemen are sharing at this exact moment?

[–]myhandsarebananas 2 points3 points ago

I'm willing to bet my left nut that this picture was staged and there is no joke.

[–]therealdealbro 0 points1 point ago

That's a badass picture.

[–]aza9999 0 points1 point ago

I don't always listen to classy jokes, but when i do....

[–]White_Luigi 0 points1 point ago

Or the dirtiest.

[–]benjaminius 0 points1 point ago

Or the dirtiest.

[–]lilteacup 1 point2 points ago

All I can think of is, "You've just ruined the punchline of my Japanese golfer joke!"

[–]maverickaz 1 point2 points ago

This picture is only missing one thing; Christopher Walken

[–]xyroclast 1 point2 points ago

"Seriously guys, which one of you kidnapped my daughter?"

[–]elbruce 0 points1 point ago

With those three? I'm positive it's absolutely filthy.

[–]OnboardDevices 0 points1 point ago

[–]CheifWelington 1 point2 points ago

Wait wait wait, thats not Phil Jackson?

[–]lance-a-little 0 points1 point ago

Or the dirtiest

[–]kleban10 0 points1 point ago

"...why the long face?"

[–]ChocolateMunkay 1 point2 points ago

"And then, and then-- She shat on a turtle!"

[–]Trunkington 0 points1 point ago

a long time ago I was in Burma..

[–]SokkasInstincts 0 points1 point ago

But I want to...

[–]opus1one1 1 point2 points ago

Liam Neeson was sharing some of his sketch comedy.

[–]RebelWithoutAClue -1 points0 points ago

The punch line was: Jablowme

[–]Mustardtigerjack 0 points1 point ago

im getting a puppy in september and naming it morgan freeman..

[–]rebeccalwoods -1 points0 points ago

Love all of these guys <3

[–]CowboyNinjaD 0 points1 point ago

Alfie tells God and Zeus how to pick up women.

[–]supasuit3 0 points1 point ago

What would batman have to say about this gathering?!

[–]Radioacid 0 points1 point ago

"It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it."

[–]hivemind6 0 points1 point ago

I guarantee it was a penis joke.

[–]smokecat20 0 points1 point ago

"Because caca poopoo!"

[–]fiplefip 0 points1 point ago

"So here we are in the bar, free drinks!' "Heh heh heh...heee...wow!" "Ha ha hm!"

[–]psychoticapes 0 points1 point ago

Or the dirtiest joke. You never know with celebrities.

[–]porkchameleon -1 points0 points ago

A black guy will laugh to anything to get accepted by white guys he's among.

Josephinne 13:6

[–]porkchameleon 0 points1 point ago

...this is the most racist picture I've ever seen...

[–]ichigo2862 -1 points0 points ago

it was probably a dick joke.

[–]CGord 0 points1 point ago

"...so the bartender says to the bear, 'Oh, yeah? What about that bar bitch you ate?'"

[–]CoyoteStark 0 points1 point ago

So I saw a tangerine playing with a child the size of a tangerine...

[–]TheKonyInTheRye 0 points1 point ago

I read that in Michael Caine's voice.

[–]arkanis50 0 points1 point ago

"... but he was only meant to blow the bloody doors off!!!!"

[–]AccidentalPedant 0 points1 point ago

"So I said, Rectum?!? Damn near killed him!"

[–]beeztrain 1 point2 points ago

Can someone tell me a classy joke?

[–]UnamedGuardian 0 points1 point ago

"Hey! Freeman! Guess what? You can't say class without... gigglesnickerchuckle ass!"

[–]gaffegiraffe 0 points1 point ago

dang

[–]Vromrig 0 points1 point ago

It's funny because Reddit is on such the nut riding frenzy for some people, that they don't understand that at least two of these three actors would see that as insulting.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

There's so much celebrity-worship on reddit, it's almost funny.

[–]goodwithcomputr 0 points1 point ago

[–]WW4O 1 point2 points ago

The "Classiest men in the world" are not actors, sorry.

[–]nomorejunks 0 points1 point ago

How do you make a hormone?

[–]markycapone 1 point2 points ago

And it's called...the aristocrats

[–]plugsocketpoker 1 point2 points ago

Given that an Englishman, an Irishman and a black man just walked into a bar I imagine it has something to do with that.

[–]stale_cracker 1 point2 points ago

Michael Caine is known for telling REALLY dirty jokes.

[–]AfricanAmericany 0 points1 point ago

...Apparently, today was the day that Michael Caine said some things that I was ready to hear.

[–]adolar 0 points1 point ago

It ends with: "...and she had an orgasm the size of a tangerine"

[–]Rmccar21 0 points1 point ago

Sorry but these are not 3 classy men, simply 3 wealthy actors.

[–]PsychSuffix 0 points1 point ago

Whenever I see this picture, I imagine that guy in the background is Christian Bale.

Depressing Shot.

[–]sugarray31 0 points1 point ago

"... so I says, right, you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

[–]FuckingColdInCanada 0 points1 point ago

I get the feeling that Michael Caine probably knows some hilarious fucking jokes and it probably takes a lot to make Freeman and Neeson laugh that hard.

[–]Whitetrash2387 0 points1 point ago

"and then I said I don't know Bruce, go ask your parents"

[–]TomSelleckPI 0 points1 point ago

".... No, I said 'my cocaine!'"

[–]jameskpork 0 points1 point ago

It was that one that Alfred knew.

[–]Netzaj 0 points1 point ago

It's about Liam penis.

[–]AlisonCreates 0 points1 point ago

Except for the douche that played Kinsey. Fuck him.

[–]Lwsrocks 0 points1 point ago

"Guess what? Chicken butt."

[–]Coffeebeanfacespoon 0 points1 point ago

Considering they are drinking and have average to above-average intelligence, the joke probably is not that great.

[–]dngu00 0 points1 point ago

Attention everyone -- Liam Neeson is rolling a blunt -- THAT IS ALL

[–]draivaden 0 points1 point ago

no.

[–]reposter_ 0 points1 point ago

Always nice to see some good OC

[–]nbrennan 0 points1 point ago

Cockney class.

[–]ManateeAssassin 0 points1 point ago

An Englishman, an American and an Irishman walk into a bar....

[–]Acurus_Cow 1 point2 points ago

[–]spaargo 0 points1 point ago

why is it that i read this in Michael Caine's voice?

[–]newmansg 0 points1 point ago

It's incredible the amount of unconditional respect defered to celebrities.

Not captains of industry.

Not men of valor.

Actors--what we aspire towards.

[–]Tampaaa -1 points0 points ago

why is Morgan i fucked my cousin and married her Freemen in a picture about class

[–]rage-quit 0 points1 point ago

I'd like to think that Christian Bale sees this photo and gets really depressed because he knows all three and he wasn't invited.

[–]fastjeff 1 point2 points ago

"You guys want to hear the perfect scene for Alfred? Okay, first, it starts off with....

*ten minutes later*

"What do you call that scene?"

"The Aristocrats!"

[–]morr1321 0 points1 point ago

Worlds greatest detective? He can't even find missing socks!

[–]Raffles_Dad 1 point2 points ago

The aristocrats?

[–]ChickenWithAChainsaw 0 points1 point ago

"So I told him, you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

[–]Rofl_Troll 0 points1 point ago

I can't stop reading reddit comments in Michael Cane's voice now. I am pleased , though.

[–]BSMitchell 0 points1 point ago

I only recognize Morgan Freeman. Who are the other two?

[–]sturg1dj -1 points0 points ago

One grew up in Northern Ireland, one as a black man in the deep south, and the other in England during the blitz. They may just be telling fucked up true stories and laughing to cope.

[–]slater912 0 points1 point ago

titty sprinkles

[–]cynicalwriter 0 points1 point ago

This makes Liam Neeson the left hand of god

[–]gtmech 0 points1 point ago

This is not the classiest joke in the world, no. This is just a tribute

[–]Alexxandria 0 points1 point ago

I almost came when I saw this picture. So much epicness.

[–]Mr_Monster 0 points1 point ago

It must be a UDP joke. Those are the best.

[–]m4tthew 0 points1 point ago

read it in morgan freeman's voice

[–]Absylum 0 points1 point ago

My dream is to have these gentleman (and some other choice chaps as well...Patrick Stewart, Sean Connery, James Earl Jones, etc.) sit in a semi-circle in high-backed leather chairs and talk about stuff. Anything really. Think about how amazing that would be to listen to. Just imagine it. It would be like The View. Only awesome instead of utter garbage. With more Scotch.

[–]Eddyoshi 0 points1 point ago

Morgan freeman in the pic gets me everytime

[–]lYossarian 0 points1 point ago

You know these guys just told a filthy joke.

These guys are fucking ACTORS not saints.

[–]AtTheLeftThere 0 points1 point ago

$20 says it was a black joke

[–]kmreid 0 points1 point ago

I never get tired of this pic of them.

[–]PandaBearShenyu 0 points1 point ago

Raz al gull, fox and alfred walk into a bar

[–]ravin187 0 points1 point ago

[–]Topbong 0 points1 point ago

...and I said to her,

"No, you were only supposed to blow The bloody Doors off!"

[–]ScratchBomb 0 points1 point ago

Morgan Freeman bangs his grand daughter.

[–]larsbrunsvold 0 points1 point ago

I would buy a this picture and frame it

[–]halfkidding 0 points1 point ago

While everyone else is thinking this is some classy joke, I like to think it is much more simple than that. I say Michael let one rip and Morgan and Liam are rightfully finding amusement in this.

[–]tellurian 0 points1 point ago

An Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar.....so where's the Scotsman?