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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Qzy 1394 points1395 points ago

TIL spine can be rearranged to penis

[–]ENKC 897 points898 points ago

So can the word, incidentally.

[–]PsychoM 592 points593 points ago

It took 2 minutes of trying to find the p in "incidentally" before I realized that I was an idiot.

[–]blueberrywine 316 points317 points ago

Note the, comma.

[–]HITMAN616 302 points303 points ago

A woman: without her, man is nothing.

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

[–]Shikogo 389 points390 points ago

Let's eat, grandma!

Let's eat grandma!

[–]houseofcoffeetables 151 points152 points ago

Yesterday, I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse.

Yesterday, I helped my uncle jack off a horse.

[–]Mingusfan101 33 points34 points ago

Did you hear about the prostitutes, Stalin, and Kennedy? Did you hear about the prostitutes, Stalin and Kennedy?

[–]iwan_w 43 points44 points ago

Ah, the Oxford comma.

[–]TheRoguePractitioner 24 points25 points ago

...finally justified.

[–]Grahmmer_Jew 5 points6 points ago

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

[–]ReddRawr 4 points5 points ago

Attack, my liege! Attack my liege!

[–]Oh_Zacharias 162 points163 points ago

Yes, lets

[–]HITMAN616 146 points147 points ago

But seriously guys, where the fuck is grandma?

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 375 points376 points ago

We ate her asshole

We ate her, asshole

[–]Redditastophe 128 points129 points ago

Neither of these are ok!

[–]mendicant1116 55 points56 points ago

She had a crack baby.

She had a crack, baby.

[–]ThrashingWhiplash 25 points26 points ago

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Edit: spelling.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

Well the dumb old crone shouldn't have been out in a deer storm.

edit: ... way to ruin the joke.

[–]crrrack 33 points34 points ago

Oh deer.

[–]monkey3 5 points6 points ago

*reindeer.

[–]freakflagflies 40 points41 points ago

Knowing your shit.

Knowing you're shit.

[–]bunjamins 5 points6 points ago

Am I the only one who's not ok with this correction? Let's is correct in his usage, lets is not.

edit: unless I'm an idiot and Oh_Zacharias is allowing Shikogo to do it, and it is not a correction.

[–]hextree 12 points13 points ago

Pretty sure people aren't making corrections here, they're just messing with grammar.

[–]ffn 43 points44 points ago

They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me!

[–]gurglechunks 32 points33 points ago

OHHHH MYYYY GODDDDDDDDDD!

[–]HITMAN616 18 points19 points ago

Best part about the movie:

no trolls are actually depicted in Troll 2

As an aside, I think The Room is better (worse?).

[–]avelertimetr 5 points6 points ago

Slow, children crossing.

Slow children crossing.

[–]SwineHerald 3 points4 points ago

Eat, Randy
Eat, Randy
Eat Randy.

[–]Happy_Harry 44 points45 points ago

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. 'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.' The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

Source

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

I helped my uncle jack off a horse.

[–]thataway 7 points8 points ago

A woman without... her man is nothing!

[–]kingoftown 14 points15 points ago

Ancient Dilly - Best I could come up with...

[–]Trolliverr 8 points9 points ago

I still don't get it :(

[–]8997 19 points20 points ago

Qzy's reply implies that you can rearrange the physical spine into a penis.

ENKC's response is that is also possible to rearrange the word spine into penis.

[–]TheOthin 6 points7 points ago

Or, rather, Qzy said that it was possible to rearrange the word "spine" into "penis", as demonstrated, but ENKC responded as if Qzy was referring to the physical spine.

[–]Ljungan 5 points6 points ago

Try picturing it and you'll see.

[–]ichae 5 points6 points ago

That's quite a stretch...

[–]blazhinga 7 points8 points ago

It's not so hard, if you try.

[–]hodor_annyong 3 points4 points ago

Just use your head.

[–]Waadap 64 points65 points ago

Pen 15 club

[–]Quadra_Slam 42 points43 points ago

Everyone in the University of Pennsylvania, Class of 2015, is a member of that lucky club.

[–]dickster12 9 points10 points ago

One of my best friends is in UPenn class of 15 and he wears his Penn15 shirt all the time.

[–]frostbite795 5 points6 points ago

As a recent Penn alum, I can guarantee they all get the joke.

[–]Tappen_Zee 25 points26 points ago

Can I join?

[–]HITMAN616 64 points65 points ago

Yes, but you'll need a pen. Just go here:

www.penisland.net

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

Oh pen island! Its my favorite island to buy pens!

[–]Dakar-A 7 points8 points ago

Risky click, but I was pleasantly surprised.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I'm sad they're out of sample pens, but years ago I got one from them when they were still in stock. I wish I still had it :(

[–]Happy_Harry 2 points3 points ago

Really not sure...sfw?

[–]HITMAN616 24 points25 points ago

Of course it's SFW; they sell pens! Why?

[–]newfag_tr0ll 7 points8 points ago

What do I have to do to become a member?

[–]kerupuk 7 points8 points ago

fill the form, just like the illuminati, no big deal

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 6 points7 points ago

go to WWW.penisland.com

sign up there to join pen island!!

[–]y_scro_serious 11 points12 points ago

Here newfag, let me see your hand

Edit: his username is newfag guys it's ok. Damn you, chic-fil-a

[–]sc2noob100 6 points7 points ago

You poor bastard. Have a pity upvote.

[–]y_scro_serious 4 points5 points ago

Appreciate it bro. I feel like no one understands me sob sob sob

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

But the penis mightier than the spine.

[–]gwhooligan 5 points6 points ago

I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier. Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen.

[–]TheVenetianMask 9 points10 points ago

Over here it was an old myth, that playing with your penis would dry your spine.

[–]kowalski71 14 points15 points ago

Over where?

[–]blore40 47 points48 points ago

Here.

[–]TheVenetianMask 11 points12 points ago

Spain.

[–]mjbstd17 10 points11 points ago

Does that only apply to the Spanish penis?

[–]irrelevantPseudonym 21 points22 points ago

The panis?

[–]BigDildo 6 points7 points ago

spenis

[–]RyVal 4 points5 points ago

also did you know that the word penis can be rearranged to make the word "spine"?

[–]Silversol99 7 points8 points ago

anagram. Also pines and snipe.

[–]PSBlake 202 points203 points ago

In Murfreesboro, TN, just a few blocks North of MTSU campus, another chiropractor's sign would occasionally read "If your spine was on your face, you'd take better care of it."

I say occasionally, because it rarely stayed that way for more than an hour.

[–]arksien 64 points65 points ago

If my penis was on my face, I sure hope the vagina isn't in the same place.

[–]Kar98_Byf42 37 points38 points ago

What's wrong with having vaginas in one's face?

[–]mrdelayer 49 points50 points ago

Seriously, it would make making out even more awesome.

[–]HITMAN616 12 points13 points ago

Or, you know, cunnilingus.

[–]jollyholliday 25 points26 points ago

[–]Odusei 4 points5 points ago

Plural vaginas? I'm not sure there's room.

[–]chickenmelon 21 points22 points ago

Sex would be reduced to a series of head-butts?

[–]jollyholliday 12 points13 points ago

Imagine the whiplash.

[–]Neebat 43 points44 points ago

You'd need a chiropractor.

[–]yxing 15 points16 points ago

Did some vigilante grammar Nazi keep changing "was" to "were"?

[–]bouchard 1 point2 points ago

The best way to take care of your spine is to avoid chiropractors.

[–]DrDWayneLove 251 points252 points ago

Oh my god. Penis is an anagram of spine. This changes everything.

[–]boojieboy 67 points68 points ago

The Spine Is Mightier

[–]BlueChilli 19 points20 points ago

The hammer is my spine

[–]HITMAN616 13 points14 points ago

I think you mean "The spine: mightier", if we're going true anagrams.

[–]boojieboy 4 points5 points ago

So's your mother, Trebek!

[–]Bismillah9 32 points33 points ago

the Pen Is mightier?

[–]I_CAPE_RUNTS 36 points37 points ago

Shuck it Trebek

[–]OurNameIsLegion 3 points4 points ago

Shut. Down. EVERYTHING!

[–]no_YOURE_sexy 57 points58 points ago

I imagined scoliosis of the penis and shivered.

[–]devskull 18 points19 points ago

Thanks for that mental image... thanks a lot. Asshole

[–]walruskingmike 42 points43 points ago

Most guys have a slight curve.

[–]Sick-Shepard 8 points9 points ago

I didn't until my friend punched me in the balls so hard that it altered the curvature of my penis.

[–]exdigguser147 1 point2 points ago

I don't think you've seen a severe scoliosis case... Think like if luke had tried to use his ass and his head to wedge that trash compactor from closing on them, but more fucked up than that.

[–]devskull 3 points4 points ago

exactly and that was what I was commenting on, the mental picture of a severely disfigured penis. Gives me nightmares.

[–]-sarge 4 points5 points ago

Ducks.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points ago

heh heh... Long's Chiropractic

[–]munge_me_not 18 points19 points ago

Get your penis straightened at Long's.

[–]brilliant_fungi 21 points22 points ago

It's those damn kids from the Captain Underpants books!

[–]naughtynuns69 4 points5 points ago

"george is the one with the tie and flat-top, harold is the one with the t-shirt and bad haircut. remember that now."

[–]landbeaver 37 points38 points ago

Apparently I'm pretty immature because that made me laugh out loud at work.

[–]korpsart 49 points50 points ago

You are mature, you have a job

[–]hervinc 26 points27 points ago

No he isn't, he's on Reddit!

[–]DefiantlyNotAnAlt 14 points15 points ago

False advertising. My penis is gay and I'm having the time of my life.

[–]X-Craft 8 points9 points ago

Still true, though.

[–]bewbsrkewl 6 points7 points ago

It's true, actually, because my penis is crooked as fuck and life is just "okay" for me, not "great".

[–]LeStab 80 points81 points ago

Still a bone, just different location.

[–]always_useful 138 points139 points ago

And girls pee out of their butts.

[–]droogsdontrun 43 points44 points ago

I thought babies came out of butts until the 4th grade.

[–]i_cry_evrytim_ 34 points35 points ago

Babies don't come out of butts?

[–]DeathToPennies 5 points6 points ago

I bet this realization made you cry.

[–]HITMAN616 47 points48 points ago

Am I the only one who didn't realize girls have three holes until I was like 18?

[–]DongBear 52 points53 points ago

Yes.

[–]azn_dude1 18 points19 points ago

Don't forget about their urethra.

[–]macetheface 23 points24 points ago

No way it's always flowers and sunshine.

[–]OhMaaGodAmSoFatttttt 20 points21 points ago

Penises don't have bones in them though, they're just muscle and blood flow.

[–]davisr 47 points48 points ago

Actually, most penises do. Humans are just weird.

[–]AvroChris 17 points18 points ago

" ...there is no specific term for it—nor for the penis itself—in Biblical Hebrew. This leads to one interpretation on the origin of Adam's rib, or his "bony part" as a direct translation from Hebrew, in the creation of Eve as told in the stories of Genesis."

So Eve was created from Adam's bone, not his rib. The question is, who was the mother?

[–]TheOthin 9 points10 points ago

God? It's Jesus, but in reverse!

[–]gingerkid1234 7 points8 points ago

That's actually not really correct. The term "rib" means "side" as well. Biblical Hebrew uses terms like "legs" and "thigh" to talk about the male genitalia.

[–]OhMaaGodAmSoFatttttt 10 points11 points ago

Damn... TIL. I was referring to human penises though, but I actually did not know that! :)

[–]ImNotGoodInEnglish 2 points3 points ago

Human penises uses both the Corpus cavernosum and Corpus spongiosum that are like sponges that gets hard when full of blood. Here a disgusting but fucking awesome drawing to show them (NSFW?).

Wikipedia in this motherfucker!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis (NSFW)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corpus_cavernosum_penis (NSFW)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corpus_spongiosum (NSFW)

[–]icertainlyhave 8 points9 points ago

I wanna make a joke about Scott Baculum but I just woke up and can't think of one

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 5 points6 points ago

i was thinking of Scott BAKULA .

[–]walruskingmike 7 points8 points ago

Erectile tissue, not muscle.

[–]stoopkid99 5 points6 points ago

I actually broke my penis. A penile fracture to be precise. But yeah it was a tissue fracture but still one of the most painful things I have ever experienced.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

You stuck your dick in crazy didnt you?

[–]AculticFly 1 point2 points ago

Except the spine is a column, not a single bone, and a penis is an organ.

[–]walruskingmike 20 points21 points ago

It's a joke.

[–]ZeroNihilist 2 points3 points ago

I demand factual accuracy in all jokes!

How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, as teachers are generally competent individuals who can figure out such a task.

[–]donpapillon 3 points4 points ago

Captain Obvious strikes again!

[–]digitalchris 7 points8 points ago

I like your clever use of the look of disapproval and neither confirming nor denying that YOU rearranged the letters.

[–]Giving_In 6 points7 points ago

Thank you for not posting this to /wtf

[–]dudas91 15 points16 points ago

But life would be terrible if your spine was straight. It's naturally curvy! Darned chiropractor should take an anatomy class.

[–]Bosticles 5 points6 points ago

False. My curve allows me to get at places that others can't.

[–]DarkwingDoug 4 points5 points ago

Holy shit I pass this sign on my way to work everyday...should have payed closer attention today

[–]Anarchophobia 17 points18 points ago

After a painstaking effort, Dr. Alan Harper opened a new clinic, only to be ruined by his brother Charlie.

[–]chaotic_phoenix 7 points8 points ago

Their just mad because their not part of the C.C.C. Crooked Cock Club.

[–]georgegsmithjr 8 points9 points ago

They're

[–]ktappe 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, it was an unfortunate time for haiku robot to make an appearance...

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 18 points19 points ago

A chiropractor with a boner better do some whackin before he gets crackin.

[–]Seishen 5 points6 points ago

Maybe he does the crackin while there's whackin.

[–]RuDreading 1 point2 points ago

If not, then he'd be crackin-lackin-whackin.

[–]youreembarrassing 4 points5 points ago

Lancaster represent, that's Columbia ave.

[–]BlandUserName 2 points3 points ago

Now that's my kind of chiropractor!

[–]vinegarstrokes420 2 points3 points ago

happy endings go a long way in making a profitable chiropractic clinic

[–]UOmeall 0 points1 point ago

Both are very true

[–]fraiditaintso 1 point2 points ago

Doc', can you help me work out the kinks?

[–]thelehmanlip 2 points3 points ago

Hey I live in the 717! :)

[–]etm124[S] 4 points5 points ago

This was in Lancaster off of Columbia Ave.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

This reminds me of the time I rearranged an ice cream shop sign so that they had "porknuts" on special.

[–]SuperKlydeFrog 2 points3 points ago

especially in the morning!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

my wang is shaped like a banana :[

[–]RyVal 2 points3 points ago

about 15 years ago there was a bowling alley that had a big sign and always had a huge message (too long to ever read while driving by). My friend and I changed it to: Watch Our Big Cock Explode all over Sally's Tits on the TV"

It stayed like that for a week before it got changed. I snickered twice a day (to and from work) for an entire week. Good Times. Good Times.

It was impressive because we did it without the use of an annagrammer, no such thing existed (internet early days).

[–]Ruddiver 2 points3 points ago

I believe that is also Chick-Fil-A's tagline.

[–]Stevenator1 2 points3 points ago

I wish I could upvote you more! Man people have gotten really imaginative with this. I used to have a hell of a lot of fun going around my neighborhood doing this. I would sit for an hour in front of these signs to come up with really complex anagrams. That was my childhood entertainment right there.

[–]Krail 1 point2 points ago

I dunno, it's pretty good with a little bit of curve to it, too.

[–]Private_Stock 2 points3 points ago

My friends and I drunkenly rearranged the letters on a sign in front of a sports bar. They were having some sort of event soon and it originally said (amongst other things) something like "Free Stuff and Dunk Tank"

We drove by the next morning hungover as shit and it still read "eat muff and cunt dank"

poetry.

[–]EjaculateEvacuator 2 points3 points ago

Great, now I can't get the phrase "herniated dick" out of my head.

[–]The_Cooler_King 0 points1 point ago

The works of George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

[–]flytaggart1 2 points3 points ago

Harold Hutchins and George Beard?

[–]Neuro_Prime 1 point2 points ago

Wait...shouldn't a chiropractor know that a straight spine is actually a bad thing?

[–]2_EASY_2_REGISTER 1 point2 points ago

And this is why I told the Chiropractor I work for, "You don't want a marquis board in this town, this world."

[–]anton645 1 point2 points ago

all i could think of is these guys

[–]CptQuestionMark 1 point2 points ago

Cpt underpants?

[–]endercoaster -1 points0 points ago

Actually has better rhythm in my opinion.

[–]Smaktat 0 points1 point ago

That doesn't seem so hard to do.

[–]StewieBanana 1 point2 points ago

As a former sufferer of Peyronie's disease, I can vouch for this.

[–]PankyFlamingos 0 points1 point ago

Can't say I don't disagree

[–]Squalor- 0 points1 point ago

Calling someone spineless is pretty synonymous for penisless, anyway.

[–]tetrasyzygy 0 points1 point ago

I read "Spline" at first

I thought this was going to be a sim city thing.

[–]zipzap21 0 points1 point ago

How do you straighten a penis?
Very carefully!

[–]sirprizes 0 points1 point ago

Well they're not wrong. Also, whenever you're naked it's generally a good thing because great things happen when you're naked. Sex, showers, sleep... what's not to love?

[–]Saronix 1 point2 points ago

And all this time I thought the curvature was normal. :(

[–]VerseChorusV 2 points3 points ago

It is, actually.

[–]bookon 0 points1 point ago

Steve Martins Spinal Beauty Cream... New Formula.

[–]jwlagina 0 points1 point ago

I thought that's why everyone went to the chiro

[–]jamesfordsawyer -1 points0 points ago

Long's Chiropractic. Heh.

[–]HiImTed 1 point2 points ago

Life can still be pretty good with a bent penis too, don't discount the bent penises.

[–]frist_psot 1 point2 points ago

If your spine is straight, something is wrong. It's supposed to be curved.

[–]Flying_Robo_Waffle 0 points1 point ago

I have scoliosis, so I used to make this joke all the time to people. That I would never have a straight penis.

[–]tbandit 1 point2 points ago

What kind of message are you trying to send here? I don't think penis curvature has anything to do with how great or not great your life can be. So far we only have the opinion of one out of an unspecified number of chiropractors. In fact, I've heard more evidence for people upward curving penises having great lives.

[–]dirtyjersey84 0 points1 point ago

This didn't need disapproving eyes, truer words have never been said!

[–]glubert 1 point2 points ago

While we're on the subject, I'm currently looking for a chiropractor to crack my penis.

[–]mjbstd17 1 point2 points ago

Bet they won't make that boner again

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

So I was going to be all like /u/found_you but then I found that the street view image is old and the sign doesn't seem to be put up yet.

Well, for what it's worth:

found you

[–]korpsart 0 points1 point ago

Life is great when your penis is spine? I don't get it

[–]Madonkadonk 0 points1 point ago

This sounds like a new anti-gay slogan

[–]cstock53 0 points1 point ago

You live in the 717 too?! :O

[–]sexi_squidward 0 points1 point ago

(In response to it being spine before

Well my life must be terrible since I have mild scoliosis lol

[–]wadjet_ki 0 points1 point ago

I'm going to be tearing around rearranging all the spines from now on.

[–]pabstcity 0 points1 point ago

I mean, he's not wrong...

[–]gonz0 0 points1 point ago

Thanks to this pic, when I look at "spine" i see only "penis".

[–]allforoneoneforall 0 points1 point ago

As someone working in a scoliosis research lab, my research just became 10x more meaningful

[–]BigStank 0 points1 point ago

So .. life can't be great if my penis is crooked? I have been living a lie all this time ... F me.

[–]SULLYvin 1 point2 points ago

And suddenly, the nostalgia of Captain Underpants comes rushing in.

[–]wellhushmypuppies 1 point2 points ago

they may want to invest in a locked cover for that board.

[–]Minerva89 -1 points0 points ago

Actually, if your spine was straight, it'd warp your other anatomy too. Your spine should have 2 x primary and 2 x secondary curvatures to them in the sagittal plane... just not excessively and not in the coronal plane.

[–]Coffeebeanfacespoon -1 points0 points ago

My penis is bent to the left thanks to excessive masturbation. Spongy and soft on one side and hard on the other lol.

[–]sfguy1977 1 point2 points ago

Life is also great when your penis is gay too.