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top 200 commentsshow all 216

[–]Evownz 212 points213 points ago

Everyone here to post Total Recall comments? Yep? Ok good.

[–]patientbearr 80 points81 points ago

"Honey, let's do it." "Do what?" "Move to Mahs!"

[–]Sugreev2001 18 points19 points ago

"Come on Cohagen,you got what you want.Give This Peepul Aeyur !"

[–]upboatderp 14 points15 points ago

QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID!

[–]Good_Housekeeping 10 points11 points ago

get to the reactor!

[–]Mochman21 1 point2 points ago

....start the reactor....

[–]greenyellowbird 21 points22 points ago

Two weeks.....twoooo weeeeks

[–]DwightKashrut 6 points7 points ago

TWO WEEKS! tow werkrss... trwrew flsdfl!

[–]peener 1 point2 points ago

If there isn't a "two weEeeEks" reference in the remake, I'll be very disappointed.

[–]DaftAss 2 points3 points ago

[–]solsethop 31 points32 points ago

YOU BLEW MY COVAARRR

[–]theKinkajou 7 points8 points ago

See you at dah party!

[–]misanthropy_pure 10 points11 points ago

As soon as I clicked the link, I thought to myself "QUAAAAAAIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDD"

[–]ElectronicChaos 9 points10 points ago

GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

Crap, that's the wrong movie.

[–]GiveMeMyNickelback 6 points7 points ago

It's not a tumah.

[–]Hosfac 1 point2 points ago

You're looking for: "Get yuhr ahss to Mahs!

[–]pspness 4 points5 points ago

I Sure was.

[–]CtrlShift7 2 points3 points ago

Ha ha ha...
You think this is the real Quaid?

It is.

[–]RandomHero13b 2 points3 points ago

OPEN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIND...

[–]back-in-black 1 point2 points ago

"Turn on the reactor.. free Mars!"

[–]unkyrona 1 point2 points ago

Quaidddddddd

[–]sjhill 339 points340 points ago

Start the reactor. Free Mars...

[–]retepeter 132 points133 points ago

Quaid....start the reactor!

[–]capitalhforhero 80 points81 points ago

Come on Cohaagen, you got what you want! Give these people air!

[–]solsethop 35 points36 points ago

ill be home in time for cornflakes

[–]deadjawa 40 points41 points ago

See you at the party, Richter!

[–]bkelly 21 points22 points ago

Looks like his fortune telling days are over.

[–]snarfy 22 points23 points ago

I've got five kids to feed.

[–]K011in 14 points15 points ago

You don't have any kids at all!

[–]ESLForLife 16 points17 points ago

Get ready for a SUUUURRRRPPPPPPRRRIIIISSSEEE!!!!!

[–]adaminc 18 points19 points ago

Hey Benny, screw youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

[–]YoureMyBoyBloo 15 points16 points ago

MELINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]HiImTed 2 points3 points ago

Thumbelina!

[–]scartol 13 points14 points ago

considerthatadivorce

[–]GodfartherPart2 4 points5 points ago

Sagat?

[–]sebaz 27 points28 points ago

Open your mind. O-pen your miiiiind.

[–]happycrabeatsthefish 11 points12 points ago

Open..... your... miiiiind.....

[–]HappyAssassin 6 points7 points ago

GIV DEEZ PEEPLE EHHHAHHH!

[–]KineticShampoo 12 points13 points ago

GIEF DYS PEYPOL AYER!

[–]KineticShampoo 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for reminding me! I keep putting it in the back of my mind since it's only 25$.

[–]RedMushtoom 0 points1 point ago

Aren't you a clever little internet stalker? Take this BS back to /r/Loans instead of hounding the man all over reddit. That's just fucking childish.

[–]gixxerk4 0 points1 point ago

Come on Cohaagen, you got what you want! Give these dis people air! FTFY

[–]Traherne 1 point2 points ago

Fuck 'em.

[–]ramo805 0 points1 point ago

EHRRR!

[–]PoisonMind 3 points4 points ago

[–]otlatnom 0 points1 point ago

Oh man, thank you for that.

[–]danowar 16 points17 points ago

came here for the total recall refs, thread delivers

[–]Mechanikore 14 points15 points ago

You knew it, I knew it, everyone on this thread knew it. You had to do the line. Like death and taxes.

[–]neohylanmay 6 points7 points ago

Makes me wish I had three hands.

[–]eleyeveyein 8 points9 points ago

DO IT NAAOWWW!!!! THESE PEOPLE NEED AIR!!!!

[–]AlwaysDownvoted- 2 points3 points ago

Is it coincidental that the new Total Recall movie starts this weekend?

[–]Chicken-n-Waffles 5 points6 points ago

They have the three boobed lady but I don't think Quato is in the remake.

Plus, it appears that the Kate Beckinsale character is the Sharon Stone AND Michael Ironside character. Plus, it's all a dream.

[–]shipman 0 points1 point ago

The dream part was how the original story ended (kinda). It kept escalating into weirder things and you got to the point where think it's all the delusions of a crazy person.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Can_Remember_It_for_You_Wholesale

[–]HappyAssassin 1 point2 points ago

TWO WEEKS.

[–]GoLightLady 0 points1 point ago

Save Kuato first!

[–]e-wrecked 0 points1 point ago

Kuato sings Chocolate Rain. Because fuck you, why not.

[–]leahcim314 1 point2 points ago

Free Mars..

Looking at the guy he'll be disappointed when he discovers this isn't a chocolate bar giveaway...

[–]sjhill 0 points1 point ago

You bastard! You owe me a new monitor and keyboard!

[–]xTravis_Bicklex 39 points40 points ago

Open your mind.

[–]zitfarmer 49 points50 points ago

Its not a toomuh.

[–]manominous 16 points17 points ago

Who is your daddy? And what does he do?

[–]bhindblueiz 9 points10 points ago

Get to the choppah!

Wait, we aren't quoting Austrian Death Machine lyrics are we?

[–]Vodiodoh 8 points9 points ago

QUAID!!!!

[–]marathi_mulga 2 points3 points ago

I AM A COP YOU IDIOT

[–]DrPeavey 2 points3 points ago

THERE IS NO BATHROOM!

[–]NiceJobSkinny 0 points1 point ago

STOP IT!!

[–]zitfarmer 0 points1 point ago

"Im a baby" from Hell Boy 2 is also acceptable.

[–]UnicornTears 12 points13 points ago

I'm pregnant. This will be my Halloween costume.

[–]creepypaste 1 point2 points ago

I'm not pregnant. This will not be my Halloween costume.

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 30 points31 points ago

[–]iamleighanne 4 points5 points ago

Well that's just adorable!

[–]mr-peabody 5 points6 points ago

I like the apathetic pose. "Rawr, or something."

[–]MeowNeko 0 points1 point ago

Adorable indeed, yet I can't help but find the expression on the man's face a little disturbing.

[–]IkilledJarJar -1 points0 points ago

Fuck you dad.

[–]RebelWithoutAClue 15 points16 points ago

Go to a Star Trek convention and practice your Scottish accent:

"Bloody transporter's on the blink again!"

[–]BustahWoruff 13 points14 points ago

Why would someone glue a baby to Gabriel Iglesias?

[–]ScampAndFries 1 point2 points ago

Isn't it Hugo Reyes?

[–]online222222 1 point2 points ago

is it just me or does that look like the "y u no" guy

[–]ZippyKitty 20 points21 points ago

Get in my belly!

[–]WhatTheFoxtrout 0 points1 point ago

Get OUT of me belly! Edit: my=me for flair!

[–]Vtreka -1 points0 points ago

Baby, the other white meat!

[–]Bunnrey 4 points5 points ago

Its the abzorbaloff!

[–]Truthfull 3 points4 points ago

Another use for the head

[–]lotus2471 4 points5 points ago

Quaaaiiiid, start the reactor!

[–]bakklajohn 7 points8 points ago

[–]Mamsaac 12 points13 points ago

That is NSFL, not NSFW.

[–]LordApocalyptica 1 point2 points ago

Actually I'm pretty sure there's a penis sooo.....

[–]ROFLWOFFL[!] 4 points5 points ago

What the actual fuck.

[–]fluffy402 4 points5 points ago

That's not the kind of NSFW I was hoping for...

[–]PengooParty 2 points3 points ago

No, don't touch me, I've got eczema.

[–]Zenyth 0 points1 point ago

That baby has really long arms.

[–]Linus_Caldwell 0 points1 point ago

Stem Cells: Health Up

[–]Hoobleton 0 points1 point ago

That powerup is so horrifying I debate just not picking it up every time. I alway do though...

[–]GarenBushTerrorist 0 points1 point ago

That guy could pass for a boss in Binding of Isaac. Great job to him.

[–]duleewopper 2 points3 points ago

Quaiiiiiiid.

[–]gligoran 0 points1 point ago

Totally reminded me of this.

[–]Dringlenut 2 points3 points ago

OPEN YOUR MIND

[–]twonkythechicken 2 points3 points ago

Abzorbaloff! Yes!

[–]wtf_ffs 2 points3 points ago

he's got a nip ring, he's obviously doesn't afraid of anything.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]wtf_ffs 4 points5 points ago

you have 'bot' nipples? Like as in robot? that's so 22nd century, and so raven. I've never pierced anything major, but I did stick a safety pin through my ear when i was in 7th grade. I like to pretend I'm hardcore, even if I'm really not. It hurt almost as much as finding out santa wasn't real.

[–]aviator2 1 point2 points ago

FYI you can buy separate baby doll parts at a craft store which will be cheaper than buying a fully assembled doll, ya dingus.

For your health.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I guess it would be funnier with parts from babies of different races

[–]LyssaPearl 2 points3 points ago

The "dingus" bit in this comment really sells it. I like your style.

[–]Zakrah 3 points4 points ago

and the subreddit, and the post-time difference (in this case about 4 hours)

[–]USMCsniper 1 point2 points ago

what a sad story Mark

[–]waxmycrax -1 points0 points ago

Kuato

[–]jackwong5598 -1 points0 points ago

God,man or woman

[–]RileyWon 0 points1 point ago

I think God is probably a woman. If there is a God at all.

[–]123addictionrehab 1 point2 points ago

only downvoted because I was eating breakfast, and now I'm not.

[–]Dragon174 1 point2 points ago

Step 3: Meat hook

[–]oest 0 points1 point ago

Artie Lange has lost weight.

[–]8_cylinders_all_mine 1 point2 points ago

Hey man i got five kids to feed...

[–]bacardi4576 0 points1 point ago

Now he needs to grow one more tit and it would be perfect!

[–]DSTFU 0 points1 point ago

Will disassembled real babies work as well? Not that I have any...

[–]YourCrohnie 0 points1 point ago

Is he somehow related to a subject in the Philadelphia experiment?

[–]FlashByNature 0 points1 point ago

Is that Chris Moyles?

[–]iamwhispers 0 points1 point ago

KILL IT WITH FIRE.

[–]sAlander4 0 points1 point ago

....Is hilarious the right word?....

[–]This_is_done 0 points1 point ago

Is that... Hugo?!?

[–]jhelm 1 point2 points ago

Maybe wrong subreddit, as I didn't laugh, but did ask myself, "what the fuck?"

[–]K011in 0 points1 point ago

Step three: Profit

[–]ezmobee_work 0 points1 point ago

Been wondering what Artie Lange was up to.

[–]PinchiWonkaGrandpa 0 points1 point ago

You got r/funny in my r/wtf! You got r/wtf in my r/funny!

[–]E-Squid 0 points1 point ago

I remember seeing this in /r/wtf and people were bitching at it to go in r/funny... well look at it now.

[–]felixfelix -1 points0 points ago

I worked with some women once who threw a baby shower for a pot-bellied male co-worker. His belly was so big, they figured there must be a baby in there somewhere!

[–]C00L_STORY_BR0 0 points1 point ago

DAMN IT COHAAGEN, GIVE DA PEOPLE DA AYAH

[–]Dr_Zeuss 0 points1 point ago

Where is the chick with three boobs?

[–]fartloud 0 points1 point ago

yarahghhryaaarr

[–]Mannersarefree 1 point2 points ago

I ATE A BABEH

[–]vgarrett -1 points0 points ago

Now Zach Galifianakis just looks silly.

[–]criblo 0 points1 point ago

Will be reposted in /r/wtf in a month, and then every 2 months for the rest of Reddit's life.

[–]E-Squid 0 points1 point ago

It was just in r/wtf, people were telling the OP to get the fuck out and post it in r/funny. The quality of content in that subreddit has seriously degraded.

[–]Oct2006 0 points1 point ago

Looks like my friend Damien

[–]Electrorocket 0 points1 point ago

Dr. Bloodmoney

[–]PBRBeer 1 point2 points ago

The Martians love Kuato.

[–]2Dfail -1 points0 points ago

Austin Powers "get in my belly"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nixR6wVa4HY

[–]Lurking_Grue -1 points0 points ago

I could... but it would go: Step one: Gain 100 pounds Step Two: find a baby doll and disassemble it. Step two: Be this guy

[–]Iamadinocopter 0 points1 point ago

Step three, post it.

Step four, do it again!

REPOST REPOST REPOST (recall recall recall)!

[–]zipzap21 -1 points0 points ago

Is that a baby hell-bent on escaping from your massive gut or are you just happy to see me?

[–]ilovetpb 0 points1 point ago

Very creepy and cool...I wonder how he attached the parts to his body?

[–]Stridsvagnen 0 points1 point ago

am gonnah eiiit yuuh, get in mah belleh!

[–]bilboballbagins77 1 point2 points ago

"Open your mind"

[–]CrypticPhantasma 0 points1 point ago

Quato lives!

[–]megaoka 0 points1 point ago

I'm having troubles with step two.

[–]HiImTed 0 points1 point ago

Open your mind to me

...open your mind

open your miiiind

[–]boydel1 0 points1 point ago

you misspelled "ridiculously creepy"

[–]Stalemate9 0 points1 point ago

This really fucking creeped me out.

[–]mo_dingo 0 points1 point ago

I am having massive Hellraiser flashbacks now, thanks.

[–]Artukk 0 points1 point ago

Totally reminded me of that episode of Doctor Who where that group of people trying to meet the Doctor get eaten by that absorbing goo monster guy.

[–]jpiglet 0 points1 point ago

Apparently you've never seen Total Recall.

[–]psion0027 0 points1 point ago

I can't help but think of this guy

[–]mightyneek 0 points1 point ago

Upvote all of the Quuuaaaaiiiddss!!

[–]nukepaste 0 points1 point ago

Artie Lange?

[–]drizzt240 0 points1 point ago

Start the reactor.....

[–]ozzkozz 0 points1 point ago

HURLEY!

[–]GhostlyGirl 0 points1 point ago

Tiny Attorney. This picture demands a white suit.

[–]Inlakeshh 0 points1 point ago

Just found my Halloween idea

[–]dillyo516 0 points1 point ago

Kwatto lives!

[–]nubbled21 0 points1 point ago

I think /r/funny and /r/wtf are getting confused... Anyone?

[–]poofacedlemur 0 points1 point ago

That baby really Go' in his bellleh!

[–]NotTheDude 0 points1 point ago

Step: 3 show up at an abortion protest!

[–]jbd1986 0 points1 point ago

QUUUAAAIIIIIDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]aleczapka 0 points1 point ago

The funniest part about the picture is that he looks like he means it :p

[–]wdr1 0 points1 point ago

Well, I know what I'm doing for halloween.

[–]frazier6567 0 points1 point ago

Step 3: be funny

[–]TED_666 0 points1 point ago

I am watching total recall for the first time and hit this post and the correct scene at nearly exactly (3 minutes or so) the same time.

Such a co-incidence. Amazing how these things sometimes happen despite huge odds against them.

[–]tyr0ne 0 points1 point ago

No way. He looks like a super fat Dan Henderson!

[–]ASLF92 1 point2 points ago

That looks freaky as sin

[–]TomHardon 2 points3 points ago

Still a better love story then the new total recall movie... also dont trust that "baby"..

[–]ADAMBUNKER 0 points1 point ago

"SEE YOU AT THE PAAHDIY RICTAAA!"

[–]TheGrinch4815 1 point2 points ago

At first I was like....Hurley?!

[–]PengooParty 0 points1 point ago

Hurley ate baby. :(

[–]kerberosaurus 1 point2 points ago

Kuato lives!

[–]DeweyTheDecimal -1 points0 points ago

That's awful. He shouldn't be drinking that close to his kid.

[–]RockinZeBoat -1 points0 points ago

Get in mah belly!

[–]liveat60fps 0 points1 point ago

Mmmm, it's a bebeh ... the other, other white meat!

[–]Delvil -4 points-3 points ago

How to be hilarious:

Step one: Exist

Step two: Don't be OP

[–]reneepussman -3 points-2 points ago

So... Be fat?

[–]IhatePeople123 -1 points0 points ago

Hilarious? THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING

[–]logboy 0 points1 point ago

That is a grotesquely obese man.

[–]SubcommanderShran -4 points-3 points ago

This is actually coplay for the new Total Recall movie.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Hansarn 0 points1 point ago

No, we just eat them.

[–]Axem_Ranger -5 points-4 points ago

Alternative title: How to disgust your friends at parties.

[–]Thedockter -3 points-2 points ago

Aye ate a babay!

[–]AndJusticeForSome -3 points-2 points ago

Guy is an attention whore. Next time just take a picture of the doll, no reason to glue it to yourself so you can show off your body hair. Probably photoshopped as well.