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top 200 commentsshow all 400

[–]INGWR 126 points127 points ago

On the down-side, no one can help you take the armor off without getting Iron Maiden'd.

[–]TheClayroo 124 points125 points ago

Ruuuuuuuun tooooo thaaaaaa hiiiiiiiiiiills.....OMG you're totally right!

[–]Elemmakil 30 points31 points ago

run for your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!!!

[–]TheClayroo 4 points5 points ago

I missed them in my home town a couple weeks ago. Cottage trip, but still, would have been nice to see THE Bruce Dickinson.

[–]Elemmakil 5 points6 points ago

I watched them at Wacken in 2008, it was glorious!

[–]macgyverrda 3 points4 points ago

Awesome! Went there all the way from Australia - seeing Carcass, At The Gates, Kreator and heaps more was just an added super bonus! One of the best 4 day stretches of my life!

[–]Elemmakil 2 points3 points ago

Erm... just had to drive two and a half hour by car. But I admire your dedication and the dedication of all others travellers to Wacken.

[–]WannabeGroundhog 242 points243 points ago

Rob a bank with this and a ballistic vest on.

[–]ShhGoToSleep 221 points222 points ago

...covered in grease.

[–]FullMoon1108 173 points174 points ago

And running on all fours

[–]tysstang 285 points286 points ago

While singing 'Kiss from a Rose' by Seal.

[–]Sweetrolls 91 points92 points ago

Backwards and flawlessly

[–]djrender 116 points117 points ago

voldo?

[–]HyzerFlip 5 points6 points ago

If you know what you're doing with voldo... Everyone is fucked.

[–]IndieGamerRid 15 points16 points ago

Oh, god. Yes. Pretty much. I love SCII, but he was creepy and weird as fuck.

[–]Ishkatar 7 points8 points ago

upvotes for everyone, because i understood all those references

[–]raycollinsphoto 10 points11 points ago

i just wanted to ask if anyone had seen the movie 'Hellraiser'?

[–]Cadvin 4 points5 points ago

Having lit the grease on fire

[–]pieguyfry22 17 points18 points ago

Number them 1, 2, and 4. Takes a crane to get them out.

[–]spektre 3 points4 points ago

Crane meme. 'tis been a long time, but we meet again.

[–]dragonboltz 3 points4 points ago

And dual wielding huge flailing rubber dildos.

[–]Soryen 2 points3 points ago

Have you been watching me play Saint's Row the Third?

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 1 point2 points ago

Ok this is where shit just got creepy.

[–]ALL_MY_UPVOTES 0 points1 point ago

Creepy as man. UPVOTES MY ALL

[–]walruskingmike 4 points5 points ago

Wut.

[–]lordcorbran 6 points7 points ago

I can't tell whether you're making a deep and serious point about the nature of humanity or you forgot a word.

[–]NilesLaw 7 points8 points ago

You neva gonna caatch me!

[–]microblag 9 points10 points ago

I read this as "...covered in geese" which in my mind is more awesome.

[–]VillainTricks 92 points93 points ago

Guys

Guys listen.

I have the best ide

guys listen

I have the best idea ever

guys

I'll put SPIKES

guys

spikes

I'll put SPIKES

guys listen here

I'll put SPIKES...on my LEATHER suit.

[–]CHAINSAW_GUTSFUCK 24 points25 points ago

And thus Black Metal was born.

[–]fistfullaberries 9 points10 points ago

Reminds me of the guy from Lethal Weapon 4. http://i.imgur.com/dMvzW.jpg

[–]MrGrieves123 8 points9 points ago

I'm too old for this shit.

[–]wienermcpeters 19 points20 points ago

spoiler alert bro!

[–]intellos 3 points4 points ago

It's the first 45 seconds of the fucking movie!

[–]goneroguebrb 770 points771 points ago

Siberians would often tie ropes under the arms of the outfitted bear hunter, and using thicker tree branches, hoist up the hunter to branch in the tree, and lay a primitive trap over the snow, where other armor-less hunters would wait. If they were unable to subdue the bear, or if the bear were to escape the trap, it would be the job of the armored hunter to drop and land on the bear. This was intended to give the armored hunter an advantage: because of the snow and terrain the bear would often outrun the Siberians, but the spikes in the armor would allow the hunter to attach himself like velcro to the beast, and armed with weapons in his free hand, would be able to take down the bear even though it was running away.

[–]Dont_be_koi_with_me 340 points341 points ago

Ahh, the rewards of fact-checking are few but sweet

[–]McNuggle 50 points51 points ago

I know look at the other comments, I don't think they have a clue..

[–]Barbarus623 46 points47 points ago

I don't know why, but I expected that link to send me to a magical video of someone mauling the shit out of a bear.

Well, I mean, I do know why...I was just...disappointed. and stuff.

[–]joshbike 3 points4 points ago

The internet has raised all of our expectations.

[–]Molecology 3 points4 points ago

And raised other things

[–]nateguy 144 points145 points ago

Reading these comments, I don't think anyone clicked on your link.

[–]sil0-aus 114 points115 points ago

Who the hell doesn't click

drop and land on the bear

[–]clickwhistle 34 points35 points ago

I guess this is where the Australian bears got their idea from.

[–]Aiken_Drumn 3 points4 points ago

Dropbears are bloody dangerous!

[–]never_knows_best 6 points7 points ago

I don't know who is backwards here, the Russians or the Australians.

Which takes priority, In Soviet Russia jokes or Australia is Upside-down jokes?

[–]kuroyaki 6 points7 points ago

Strap a Siberian bear hunter to the back of a dropbear.

[–]MacGyvered 8 points9 points ago

Basically got yourself an anti gravity device right there...

[–]M0rbs 2 points3 points ago

I'm so glad it was you who said this.

[–]netgod2002 2 points3 points ago

Why not me??......

Oh I get it.....

It's just a popularity contest with you people, isn't it?!.....

[–]SneakyPete27 2 points3 points ago

Or a perpetual motion generator.

[–]Richeh 2 points3 points ago

Also a furiously rotating ball of razor claws and iron death. Although the cat and toast method is certainly more sustainable, there's definitely a place for this on the battlefield.

[–]ZeekySantos 8 points9 points ago

Or even hovered over it to see where it'd go. Seriously people? I wish it were true too.

[–]Vakz 5 points6 points ago

It sounds too cool. People don't want it to be untrue.

[–]McCarthyism 4 points5 points ago

This is the guiltiest upvote I've ever given

[–]AlphaQRough 14 points15 points ago

Fuck the link this is hilarious material

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

I want to believe!

[–]flocosix 8 points9 points ago

Motherfucker.

[–]shenpen 12 points13 points ago

In Soviet Australia, you drop on bear.

[–]Chiiirpy 2 points3 points ago

Ive seen this artifact in person at the menil gallery in houston texas.

Its an interesting exhibit that displays items owned by surrealist painters.

These items gave inspiration to the artists.

[–]Laxsteve 4 points5 points ago

So THIS is what a drop-bear is!

[–]CR4ZY0WN3R 15 points16 points ago

yeh, if the man in the suit was a bear

[–]stfm 2 points3 points ago

No, drop bears are equally equipped

[–]CR4ZY0WN3R 1 point2 points ago

This should be called the Reverse Dropbear Method

[–]0SED4X 207 points208 points ago

THORNMAIL

[–]OxidizedBovine 90 points91 points ago

now I know how to beat volibear

[–]GethLegion 39 points40 points ago

"GG guys, this noob didn't even build thornmail."

[–]conglock 6 points7 points ago

Lol is so popular these days

[–]I_LOVE_DOG 14 points15 points ago

surely you meant to say BLADEMAIL

[–]Almost_Ascended 11 points12 points ago

To think I doubted the validity of that item.

[–]xXRoflFalafelXx 15 points16 points ago

dont forget to get a buddy to gank the bear

[–]roodymagoo 23 points24 points ago

Have you seen my bear tibbers?

[–]kragmoor 4 points5 points ago

twitch

[–]imabigsofty 4 points5 points ago

No silly Annie says that not twitch.

[–]Ryu6912 5 points6 points ago

YES

[–]Zomonada 113 points114 points ago

So, gimps hunted bears back in the 1800's I guess.

[–]Jeroknite 68 points69 points ago

Something something gay joke.

EDIT: What monstrous tread have I spawned?

[–]dionysus6794 25 points26 points ago

Very creative

[–]PhilsGhost 94 points95 points ago

As a pansexual genderfluid gaytheist, this highly offends me. You should really consider adding a trigger warning, you cis privileged transphobe

[–]PulseAmplification 32 points33 points ago

I am offensive and I found that comment to be perfectly acceptable.

[–]kragmoor 47 points48 points ago

i am a fence and how am i typing this

[–]BipolarBear0 16 points17 points ago

The criminal kind or the wooden post kind?

[–]kragmoor 13 points14 points ago

...yes

[–]BipolarBear0 8 points9 points ago

In that case, I need you to buy this white paint I stole.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 7 points8 points ago

he'll picket up from you later..

[–]zinklesmesh 4 points5 points ago

you made me spit out my mint

[–]rashka9 17 points18 points ago

[–]MrTheodore 17 points18 points ago

are we circlejerking now? okay!

I approve of this gem good sir/madam. You are a gentleman/lady and a scholar. Upvote to help raise awareness for gay marijuana

[–]PhilsGhost 17 points18 points ago

TRIGGER WARNING! God, why are you cis privileged penises so ENTITLED!!!!!1!!

#Feministfrequency #I'mtryingtogetbannedfromSRSandnothingyoucandowillstopme!

[–]dsi1 2 points3 points ago

oh god #feministfrequency is a real tag isn't it

[–]MrTheodore 6 points7 points ago

edit: This

[–]kragmoor 5 points6 points ago

zomg that is so unoriginal you should literally be burned at the stake you ignorant cunt basket

edit: omg why downvotes?

[–]MrTheodore 6 points7 points ago

because you support romney. don't you know hilter when you see him theist! i also don't use capital letters because im no capitalist, you pig

[–]Lin_Beifong 4 points5 points ago

Pig? What's wrong with pigs? ARE YOU TRYING TO PERSECUTING US ATHEISTS, YOU MUSLIM?!

[–]MrTheodore 2 points3 points ago

of course a theist brings up religion, psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssslessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh

[–]NotoriousADD 2 points3 points ago

[le]terally hitler

[–]quotejester 2 points3 points ago

Something something lol bear back.

[–]Almost_Ascended 2 points3 points ago

Gimme a hug!

[–]DeepwaterJohn[!] 65 points66 points ago

put that shit in Amnesia O__O

[–]Miora 23 points24 points ago

That would be the most shit inducing thing ever. -Even though there are already a lot of those in Amnesia I think this would just make it worse-

[–]yuruku 14 points15 points ago

Yet these fucking crazy bastards did it in REAL LIFE! Simply fucked.

[–]Elemmakil 7 points8 points ago

...and call it Insomia!

[–]trish80s_4_life 22 points23 points ago

Hellraiser has nothing on that shit!!

[–]kelseysaurus 6 points7 points ago

Pinhead of the future. Apparently.

Also yay, the first thing I thought of when I saw this was Hellraiser :)

[–]Phyics_Son 45 points46 points ago

this is the perfect way to say, "I dont like being imtimate"

[–]vroger8 33 points34 points ago

as man from Russia i must to inform you the proper way to use that costume. Here is it: 1) put on that costume and find a bear; 2) hug a bear; 3) bear die of laughter; 4) PROFIT!

And we have also another secret in bear hunting... all you need is metal cable,bolt, washer, nut, a piece of meat. Who wants to know next step?

[–]vroger8 23 points24 points ago

1) tie one end of the metal cable to a tree, and another to bolt; 2) insert the bolt in to the meat; 3) hide and wait for bear; 4) wait for the screw-bolt from bear's ass. 5) BE QUICK: washer, nut. 6) profit!

Applicable to ducks also, just replace meat with bread. Oh wait! Just first time use bread on the bolt, then use duck to get a bear!

[–]superatheist95 4 points5 points ago

The old double comment trick. Gets double karma.

I'm watching you......mate.

[–]vroger8 7 points8 points ago

better check your back... is there any bolt on a wire behind ?

[–]Blarggin 12 points13 points ago

The Shrike?

[–]Miklonario 2 points3 points ago

This person has the right idea.

[–]xpoonx 9 points10 points ago

But does it work?

[–]Catmand0 30 points31 points ago

Imagine a bear trying to bite you and instead getting a mouthful of spikes.

[–]StupidlyClever 12 points13 points ago

but does it work?

[–]thatdudeus 3 points4 points ago

I would think it would work, since nature doesn't mess with porcupines much.

On the other hand, you do see bears fighting each other, or lion on lion violence with teeth and claws ripping through meat and the animals hardly seem to care. They will often fight to the death.

I think that if the bear felt its life was in danger (or it needed food, needed to mate, needed to protect cubs, etc), the it would likely not give a shit about non life threatening injuries and proceed to maul the shit out of you. A couple of enraged swats to the head and you are dead.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]thatdudeus 5 points6 points ago

I hate how fucking smug and confident

Never have I seen greater irony, you sanctimonious and ignorant cunt

My comment is clearly idle speculation from a non expert, and worded exactly that way.

(1) You are NOT an expert.
(2) You are dead fucking wrong

The definition of rare assumes a lot. We're talking about life or death here. It's a goddamn good assumption this thing isn't the best thing since sliced bread since I don't see anyone using it. Car accidents are rare or we would not drive them. I'm still wearing my seatbelt though.

Male Lions exist mainly to fight and protect the pride. They can fight to the death for access to mating. They will kill other male cubs when taking over a pride. They will usually die when scarred up and kicked out of a pride.

Most deaths of male european robins are from fighting one another.

My point is that animals do enter physical combat at times, that ignores physical injury for all of the reasons I indicated - when life and reproduction are threatened, then it is adaptive, you fucking CUNT.

But if you want to bicker about the word often, let me be clearer: there are species that always fight to the death. For example, in several species of ants, multiple queens can cooperate to found a colony. Once the colony is strong however, they kill each other because that fucking makes sense.

[–]Tovora 20 points21 points ago

Don't be so confident that you're right, smug bastard.

[–]DamThatRiver 4 points5 points ago

From the Menil collection in Houston

[–]uss_john_e_badass 4 points5 points ago

Yeah I'm 90% sure this has nothing to do with... bear hunting. It's been a while since I saw the collection this is in but it if memory serves it had nothing to do with that.

[–]appletart 11 points12 points ago

That's actually just for the mosquitoes....

[–]happytreefriends67 5 points6 points ago

Kinky

[–]Kilzar 0 points1 point ago

I didn't know Ber Hunting was a fetish...

[–]mingamongo 15 points16 points ago

Getting one for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

[–]Corporal_Sissypants 28 points29 points ago

Except for the fact that the spikes would be useless. Zombies feel no pain, and would continue attacking you regardless of the spikes. You are better off with some sort of tick woven material, which will be lighter and still resist the living dead chewing on your mortal flesh.

I have done some tests, and two layers of duct tape seems to work excellent. Although you do trade away some mobility due to it's rigidness.

[–]CR4ZY0WN3R 18 points19 points ago

tagged as Duct Tape Zombie for future reference

[–]Elemmakil 5 points6 points ago

They will stop to attack you once their muscles are attached to the armor and not to their bones.

On the other hand duct tape had the incredible advatage that you won't be sprayed with infectious blood once you get attacked.

[–]kuroyaki 7 points8 points ago

So: spikes on a frogsuit; wait for a sufficient layer of zombie; then shake, shake, shake like a puppy experiencing his first lawn sprinkler.

[–]keanus 12 points13 points ago

No slipknot references?

[–]WindmillMan 15 points16 points ago

no.

[–]Nathan_Explosion- 9 points10 points ago

I played this guy in DnD once, basically. In addition to the spiked armor, I paid a necromancer to lop off my hands and replace them with skeleton hands (giving me a bonus to strength and a claw attack.) I then paid a mage to enchant them to light on fire whenever I snapped.

I would wear gloves and walk into a place, drawing stares. Snap, the hands ignite, burning off the gloves. Tackle someone, with bonuses to my grapple, the spiked armor dealing damage every round, my firey hands dealing damage every round, and raking at their eyes, he was a formidable opponent.

I did have to carry around a bag of holding with an awful lot of pairs of gloves in it though...

[–]wee_little_puppetman 7 points8 points ago

But how can you snap with gloves on? Or with skeleton fingers, for that matter?

[–]popathroner 2 points3 points ago

Roll 20s like a baws.

[–]Dimestoresaint 1 point2 points ago

Looks like pinhead

[–]Opee23 1 point2 points ago

so....I could see this coming back into style especially in bdsm clubs and/or extreme sports.....

[–]Jazz_Cub 1 point2 points ago

What is it made of?

[–]Bigtoneism 1 point2 points ago

Try to rape me now balloon monster!

[–]xDividedByZer0 1 point2 points ago

Blademail!

[–]Kdansky1 5 points6 points ago

Can't touch this.

Naa-nanana.

[–]anthrocide 1 point2 points ago

And you can be almost certain that at some point in time, another man was killed with that suit.

[–]Waitokkie 0 points1 point ago

FOOK YEA we killed the bear!! chest bump.... oops...

[–]austinlecuyer 1 point2 points ago

"Now after a long hard day of hunting, all I have to do is pick up some balloons for my son's birthday..... Fuck..."

[–]wtfOP -1 points0 points ago

This is like a reverse iron maiden.

[–]Not_My_Idea 1 point2 points ago

Hellraiser is pissed about being one upped.

[–]Devarot 3 points4 points ago

So, that's what a Thornmail looks like.

[–]blackstrat 2 points3 points ago

Looks like something you'd see at a Rammstein concert!

[–]once_in_a_greenmoon 1 point2 points ago

Hellraiser!

[–]jesusisjustalright 1 point2 points ago

You don't have to like all that technology has given us, but it would be futile to stand in the way of it.

[–]ThaneLines 1 point2 points ago

hey if works use it i think that would work fine today

[–]Phoenix_Fury7 1 point2 points ago

Uh oh... my nose itches

[–]desenagrator 1 point2 points ago

This is actually smart.

[–]redbeetpee 1 point2 points ago

cooooooool

[–]Stazmaster 1 point2 points ago

Trick is putting this on without killing yourself.

[–]ZiggyBOP155 1 point2 points ago

Where can I buy one?

[–]Jewbot69 1 point2 points ago

more like zombie apocalypse armour

[–]IamIUrU 1 point2 points ago

I would happily wear this around

[–]Skizmanic -1 points0 points ago

Sibearian.

[–]whtrbt 1 point2 points ago

Will not help you if you fall in a hole while bear hunting and need your friends to pull you out.

[–]icearrowx 1 point2 points ago

Its Thibbledorf Pwent's armor!

[–]wtfomgjohnny 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of Thibbledorf Pwent from the Forgotten Realms universe.

[–]Marowak 1 point2 points ago

"Bannakaffalatta, cyborg!"

[–]sandiegonow 1 point2 points ago

Note to self, resist all urges to hug Siberian hunters.

[–]neonraisin 1 point2 points ago

This is an awesome idea!

[–]Christinadruck 1 point2 points ago

I need to invest in one of these for the upcoming zombie apocalypse

[–]thecyclopsRell 1 point2 points ago

Surely putting it on and taking it off was a bit problematic?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

did they fight bears with hand to hand combat they seem fatally spikey

[–]kragmoor 1 point2 points ago

!!! i am going to put a zombie in that

[–]andiW 1 point2 points ago

bear: "mmmmm, Durian fruit".

[–]Legitsu 1 point2 points ago

Even wearing this I'm certain a bear would demolish a man in a melee. I hope they remembered their musketoon!

[–]RPrevolution 0 points1 point ago

Now I feel bad for the bear

[–]EpicFishFingers 0 points1 point ago

Do want

[–]jusu 1 point2 points ago

That would be awesome in public transportation. Personal space guaranteed.

[–]tweemo 1 point2 points ago

Picture made me think of this...

Butch: So we cool? Marsellus: Yeah, we cool. Two things. Don't tell nobody about this. This shit is between me, you, and Mr. Soon-To-Be-Living-The-Rest-of-His-Short-Ass-Life-In-Agonizing-Pain Rapist here. It ain't nobody else's business. Two: you leave town tonight, right now. And when you're gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. You lost all your L.A. privileges. Deal? Butch: Deal. Marsellus: Get your ass out of here.

[–]fearfeaster 0 points1 point ago

Pinhead was real?!

[–]Say_what_you_see 1 point2 points ago

No one ever wants to hug a siberian bear hunter...

[–]eetMOARcatz 1 point2 points ago

Also doubles as a porcupine mating suit.

[–]ghodaz 1 point2 points ago

I've had some interesting times at S&M parties in this baby...

[–]zitfarmer 1 point2 points ago

I want to sleep in one of those. It would be harder for my wife to take over the bed.

[–]QuickKill 1 point2 points ago

21st century Black Metal stage costume.

[–]anon8661 0 points1 point ago

What kind of 'bear' are we talking?

[–]ForgottenFork 1 point2 points ago

Hellraiser used to hunt bears? Huh, TIL.

[–]realdiez 0 points1 point ago

Unless you meet some of those Fakir bears...then you're fucked.

[–]drawthellama 0 points1 point ago

Looking sharp!

[–]LeKevbo 1 point2 points ago

How the hell would they get the hunting bear to wear this?

[–]its_raining_scotch 0 points1 point ago

What if you leaned against a log too hard? You'd be stuck to it...in cold-ass Siberia...with bears around... bad times.

[–]DrDebG 0 points1 point ago

In soviet Russia, porcupines scream "Ouch! Cut that out! Prickly bastard!"

[–]Hal_Nein_Thousand 1 point2 points ago

How awesome would it be to crouch into a ball and roll down a hill in that? Possibly with terrified onlookers running and screaming for their lives.

[–]Decency 0 points1 point ago

Thibbledorf Pwent?

[–]Der_Nailer 0 points1 point ago

Pinhead would like to talk with you...

[–]mightyjake 0 points1 point ago

That would make an awesome slasher movie antagonist.

[–]Eriamjh1138 0 points1 point ago

Looks like somebody needs a hug.

[–]GhastDagger 0 points1 point ago

but his hands aren't covered! a simple mistake might make him lose a hand

[–]badmonk 0 points1 point ago

Yeah because that's what you want, a rampaging angry bear that's now stuck to your spikes and clawing you to pieces

[–]nicudeemus 0 points1 point ago

now this... Is kinky

[–]ThatDudeWithoutKarma 0 points1 point ago

Chest bump!

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 0 points1 point ago

man this hellraiser remake looks like its gunna suck.

[–]onyxyth 0 points1 point ago

This guy is 100% kvlt black metal

[–]Subsinuous 0 points1 point ago

Hellraiser 2.0!