this post was submitted on
1,302 points (54% like it)
8,570 up votes 7,268 down votes

funny

subscribe2,451,396 readers

10,244 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

Added because /r/funny is viewed by users who may be underage, at work etc. Users Submitting Dick Pics etc and Racist submissions or comments and Inappropriate content will be BANNEDInstantly, No If's and or but's. - Those submissions belong in /r/nsfwfunny or elsewhere on reddit - Not here.

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 190 comments

[–]SelinaKyle 113 points114 points ago

Cats can also bring you back to life after you've been pushed out of a window by your shady, corrupted boss.

[–]DasGanon 40 points41 points ago

[–]Positronix 7 points8 points ago

Cats can also infect you with a parasite that has been shown to increase a rats attraction to cats, potentially hijacking your mind to make you love them.

[–]toThe9thPower 1 point2 points ago

You crazy!

 

But if Flegr is right, the “latent” parasite may be quietly tweaking the connections between our neurons, changing our response to frightening situations, our trust in others, how outgoing we are, and even our preference for certain scents.

[–]Sevren 0 points1 point ago

Grabs flamethrower Ok, let's start this then.

[–]BourbonAndBlues 0 points1 point ago

Important to note that cats are only very rarely carriers of this parasite: when they are newborn kittens and when a female is in heat. Not sure how spaying effects the latter.

[–]Stranded_In_A_Desert 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand how you can have that username right after The Dark Knight Rises has been released, and not be raking in the karma.

[–]SquishyFish 142 points143 points ago

Cats are alpha as fuck. Bitches love alpha.

[–]Skimmerlit 17 points18 points ago

Cats are winners, genetically fucking different bro!

[–]Spicy_Anis 8 points9 points ago

Alright Bruce, take it easy.

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant 63 points64 points ago

Agreed, replace 'cats´ with 'jerks' and the entire thing still makes sense.

[–]Alt_ 7 points8 points ago

Works with most nouns ಠ_ಠ.

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant 4 points5 points ago

Spatulas

[–]Coloneljesus 1 point2 points ago

Bass

[–]AssFromThePast 2 points3 points ago

Second-world peasant worker

[–]Coloneljesus 1 point2 points ago

Cards Against Humanity comes to mind.

"Pooping back and forth, forever."

and so on.

[–]Ausaria 1 point2 points ago

This is kinda true.

[–]CelebornX -5 points-4 points ago

No they aren't. Alpha refers to the highest ranking animal in a pack. Cats are loners. Alpha doesn't really apply to them. It implies a sort of leadership that doesn't make sense for a loner animal.

Canines and primates have alpha leaders, but not cats.

So dogs can be alpha. People can be alpha. But the term isn't really relevant when applied to a cat. So maybe where you're wrong is that bitches don't love alpha. And they probably don't like being called bitches either...

[–]mirrth 9 points10 points ago

Lions.

[–]BrBybee 9 points10 points ago

You are thinking way to much into this.

[–]CelebornX -3 points-2 points ago

Nope. I've just heard people refer to cats as Alpha before, so I'm just spreading a little information.

I realize the comment was a joke, but it's a joke that stemmed from misinformation.

But please, continue to censor my post for not submitting to the circlejerk that this website can be.

Can you imagine of OP had made a joke about an organized person being OCD? He'd be getting death threats already.

EDIT: Because I'm bored, let me explain how deeply I thought into this:

I read "cat's are alpha as fuck." I thought "cats aren't alpha." I took 14 seconds to type a response. Now I'm bored as fuck and responding to some comments.

[–]CaesarOrgasmus 5 points6 points ago

I don't think anyone believed that OP was suggesting that cats were pack animals.

[–]NottaGrammerNasi 0 points1 point ago

It's been my experience that guys tend to like cats and girls like dogs. At least, every guy I know prefers cats because of the ridiculous amount of low maintenance that goes into them. The only thing I have to do for my cats is refill their water bowl each day, change litter once a week and refill their dry food once a month. On the other hand, every girl I know (and every girlfriend I've had) always wants a dog. My personal theory is they like the unconditional love that a dog gives you. I just don't want to put in all that work, especially since I don't have a back yard to let it run around in or potty in. Plus I don't want to worry about having to get home by a certain time to let them out. I have nothing against dogs, they just don't fit my lifestyle.

TL;DR: Gave that bitch a bitch, bitches love unconditional love.

[–]amybexx93[S] 1 point2 points ago

I agree. Me and my bf want to move in together at some point, he said he'd love to have a cat, I said I'd love to have a dog. I love both cats and dogs, but I've grown up with my current dog since I was 5 years old so I have a bigger attachment to them rather than cats that are hardly ever around unless they want food...

[–]jk147 0 points1 point ago

I want to scream no, but reddit is 80% guys and they love cats here... must be true.

[–]Yunlokzi 1 point2 points ago

I've experienced the opposite. I have cats and dogs, but I definitely prefer dogs to cats. Cats are ass holes. Dogs require a little bit more maintenance and are more expensive, but their companionship more than makes up for it. My boyfriend, on the other hand, really likes cats. To each their own.

[–]NottaGrammerNasi 1 point2 points ago

I'm confused. It sounds like you've experienced the same. You said your boyfriend likes cats, and unless your a dude, then you're his girlfriend. And so you're a girl who likes dogs. Maybe you're referencing your friends likes?

[–]ryumast3r 0 points1 point ago

IAMA Dude who prefers dogs, AMA.

[–]NottaGrammerNasi 1 point2 points ago

Have you ever personally owned a cat? If so, how long? Do you own a dog now? How many? How old are they? Do they jump on people? Lick people? Bark loudly at everything? Have you spent the time training it? What commands does it know? Do you mind having to be home by a certain time because your dog might pee on something? What about a dog turns you on to them? Has your dog ever chewed, damaged or destroyed any thing you cared about? Could you date a girl who prefers cats? Could you live with that cat if so?... Is that enough AMAs?

[–]ryumast3r 0 points1 point ago

Have you ever personally owned a cat? If so, how long?

I have owned my current cat for about 2 years, taken care of my brothers before that when he was in an apartment, though this time is relatively negligible.

Do you own a dog now? How many?

I personally own one dog now, though 3 others live in my house (grandpa's who moved in with us about a year ago). The one I own is either 6 or 7 (pound puppy, they could only guess at the age), 1 of the grandpa dogs is about 5, and the two others are anyone's guess as my grandma adopted them, she's now dead and no one ever really asked/talked about their age.

Do they jump on people?

One of them does, and I'm currently working with her on that. She only does it occasionally but it's still a bad habit. I will admit though, they all tend to huddle around newcomers/visitors, though they're pretty good about staying at foot-level.

Lick people?

Only if you let them, one is overly-friendly and will try though, but she's easily avoidable (she's a tiny dog that comes up to ankle-level at the highest).

Bark loudly at everything?

We live near a bunch of farms with various animals, so right now the newest editions to our "family" (grandpa's dogs) are getting used to the animals and are barking, but they are calming down. The ones who have lived with us for more than a few months only bark when the bell rings or when commanded (we do prefer the barking for the bell because we don't hear it often).

Have you spent the time training it? What commands does it know?

Not nearly as much as I could, but I do a little here and there and train them in the things that I feel are necessary (bathroom habits, sitting, "heeling", laying down, being quiet, not running off, etc).

Do you mind having to be home by a certain time because your dog might pee on something?

This has only been a problem recently, with the new dogs (they moved from the caribbean to Utah so everything is totally new), but otherwise my personal dog I could leave alone all day and she'd never pee on anything. I wouldn't ever do that, and I'm generally home often enough that it's not a problem but that has less to do with my dog and more to do with my daily habits.

What about a dog turns you on to them?

I've never had a problem with a dog biting me, personally (I know it happens), whereas many cats have attacked me. That probably stems from the one neighbor cat that was a jackass and me being a bit odd around them ever since. I'm generally O.K. with cats, but I am more comfortable around dogs (Also, I think I have an allergy to cats, not sure though... if I do it's really light) I also love their extreme loyalty and the fact that they'll go running, hiking, camping, etc with me and I can just let them wander and they always come back because, well, I have the bacon.

Has your dog ever chewed, damaged or destroyed any thing you cared about?

Our last dog that died a few years ago got into the habit. Luckily didn't destroy anything super precious, but he did chew up a few socks and things. We, relatively quickly, put an end to it. All about training in this case.

Could you date a girl who prefers cats?

Definitely. As I said above, I currently have a cat and so this wouldn't be much of a problem. The only thing I can think of is, as I said earlier, I think I have an allergy to cats... so I'd have to be more careful, but that's more of just an annoyance than a hindrance or a turn-off in any way.

Could you live with that cat if so?

I think I've answered this. :D

Is that enough AMAs?

THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH!

Haha, I know it was a joke, but I enjoyed filling this out like one of those quizlets you get from the old forwarded e-mails or something. Good time-waster, greatly appreciate your ability to make me waste a couple of minutes.

[–]Yunlokzi 0 points1 point ago

Oh shit, my bad. Long day, I probably was trying to reply to someone else. /rightovermyhead

[–]dainethemain 0 points1 point ago

true. although 9/10 girls don't really care about the dog after it grows out of puppy stage. most of the worst trained dogs were raised by post-college age females :/

[–]oniongasm 0 points1 point ago

TL;DR: Gave that bitch a bitch, bitches love bitches' unconditional love.

A quick fix't.

That said my experience has been the opposite. I know exactly zero men with cats, and every woman I know with a dog shares it with her boyfriend or brother.

I know for my part I generally dislike cats... though there was one girl who had a cat that would sit on the bathroom windowsill. The morning-after urination was actually very relaxing... still quite groggy, honestly still a little buzzed... gotta be at work in... fuck. an hour. Oh hey buddy! You look soft. You ARE soft! I'm glad we can share this moment. Thanks cat. You're good people.

As for dogs? I LOVE dogs. Basically because I'm still a little boy at heart and just want to run around and play. Cats don't so much do that. Dogs fucking love that shit. And so do I!

[–]SquishyPeas 0 points1 point ago

I disagree with everything you say

[–]brokendimension -1 points0 points ago

Bitches love respect.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Probydoby 4 points5 points ago

Uhm, not sure about the other guys. But I need a tranquil familiar environment to do my shitting. If I'm not then I mess up my whole pooping schedule.

[–]BossDulciJo 4 points5 points ago

Somewhere like a personal sand filled box? I'd imagine it would be like shitting in a zen garden.

[–]-Chillmode- 0 points1 point ago

Nice comment Thoraxe

[–]furbiesandbeans 1 point2 points ago

They're also covered in hair and aren't worried about shitting is weird places.... just like dudes.

I'm guessing thats the original comment

[–]-Chillmode- 0 points1 point ago

The deleted post was, quite literally, the exact same as Thoraxe's. Even down to same number of ellipses. It was like he wasnt even trying to hide the fact that he stole the comment from the previous thread. Sad really.

[–]azn_dude1 31 points32 points ago

FW: Fw: FW: FW: Fw

[–]stemgang -1 points0 points ago

I was gonna say

Fw: RE: Re: Re: FW: FW: Fw: Re:

but you were close enough.

[–]SirSandGoblin 13 points14 points ago

they're also shit at sex, trust me

[–]BlueTyphoid 1 point2 points ago

trust me

ಠ_ಠ

[–]SirSandGoblin 4 points5 points ago

there are two options here: trust me or try it yourself. which would you prefer?

[–]Sentential 30 points31 points ago

That last sentence is the least logical thing I've read all day. In no "other words" is it stated that every quality listed is one women love in cats. "Cats are hairy, and they pee in the living room. In other words, women love them for their urine. So why do they want men to shave?"

[–]AustinCorgiBart 0 points1 point ago

I have often pointed out these facts and conclusions about cats and men.

[–]pipii 17 points18 points ago

I LOVE DOG

[–]Trip_McNeely 16 points17 points ago

Nice try, dog.

[–]deeznutz12 5 points6 points ago

CAUSE CATS ARE CUTE.

[–]gradeahonky 36 points37 points ago

They certainly seem pretty attracted to those qualities in a man as well.

[–]aspiringvoiceactor 0 points1 point ago

Women are attracted to men who are confident, independent, good looking and wealthy.

Men like that also have lots of women after them, therefore they tend to do what they want independent of women because that isn't really a constrained area for them.

We may think of a man whose girlfriend is a bitch. He's not attracted to her bitchiness, its just what he's willing to put up with for the stuff about her that he is attracted to.

[–]gradeahonky 0 points1 point ago

You're exactly right, and to go in to more detail as I see it: Men and women are both attracted to people who are confident. Asserted self worth is one of the first signs of actual worth (fully accurate or not) and an assertive attitude will more-often-than not create worth.

The idea that women like assholes is only half right. Being an asshole is a short cut to confidence. Its not full-on, real, empathetic confidence, but it can do the trick. Same with bitchiness being a shortcut for women. (Bitch and asshole are almost the same word, only with specific gender overtones)

[–]aspiringvoiceactor 1 point2 points ago

Honky, you get a grade of b+, I would possibly grade you higher than that, but as that was my college gpa, o don't really feel capable of grading you higher than my own assessed ability.

[–]Mel_Melu 5 points6 points ago

Who says women love cats? I've only had one female friend who actually likes cats most of us prefer dogs.

[–]thuderroar 0 points1 point ago

I love punctuation. Obviously, we're incompatible.

[–]NotDeadJustSlob 26 points27 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Women and cats... 33coms 341pts 5mos funny
It's a valid arguement. 188coms 1170pts 5mos pics

source: karmadecay

[–]thematt924 11 points12 points ago

Wait so this is a 5 month old repost of someone taking a picture of their computer screen? Wow, we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel here...

[–]Arovmorin 5 points6 points ago

Maybe you'll take comfort in the fact that it was a display board, not a computer screen.

[–]SaKage96 -1 points0 points ago

Best way of saying repost ever.

[–]MonocleWearingCat -4 points-3 points ago

You sir, are fantastic

[–]heatherfeather8 17 points18 points ago

I hate cats. Much more of a dog person

[–]NottaGrammerNasi 2 points3 points ago

I always see posts like this then wonder if the person has ever had a pet cat before. I say this because what NON-cat owners don't understand is cats will typically attach themselves to one or two people and won't give two f@#k$ about anyone else. My cat Buddy is as loyal as a dog. Loves attention from me, comes running when I come home, sits in my lap and follows me around like a dog and he's 16yrs old. However, he won't pay any attention to anyone else. Side note: I do have two other cats (I'M NOT A CRAZY CAT MAN, I SWEAR!) and they're much more friendly. They want to sit in every ones lap and get pets from everyone. I think the difference was how they were raised. The second two were handled by a LOT of different/random people so I think they got used to it more than Buddy.

[–]Randomacts 0 points1 point ago

One of my cats pretty much loves everyone.. more loving then any dog I know.

[–]missmichellini 2 points3 points ago

I hate them too... I've met one or two nice, sweet ones, but the rest were unfriendly bitches. How is that lovable at all? Ugh.

[–]NottaGrammerNasi 0 points1 point ago

I don't want to copy/paste the same thing, so please see my response to someone else about a similar comment.

[–]missmichellini -1 points0 points ago

Everyone thinks their own cats are unique and different and wonderful. I'm sure you could say the same thing about dogs - "Buster only bites people he doesn't know very well!" But the thing is, well-trained, well-socialized dogs are friendly and easy for anyone to say hello to. There are a few exceptions to the rule, but that's the owner's fault, not the dogs'. The majority of cats I've met - and I've met quite a few - have been arrogant, violent little things, spurning physical affection and vomiting all over everything and being little brats. And their owners make up all the excuses in the world for them, but it won't make me like cats. Perhaps cats are lower-maintenance, but dogs will defend you to their last breath and listen to you when you say "sit."

PS No, I haven't owned any cats, but I have several friends who own them and I visited them frequently, despite my cat allergy, hoping they could prove to me that their cats were indeed different and that I had some sort of unfair bias against cats. The odds that every single cat I have ever met accidentally being the exception to the "warm and friendly" rule is quite slim.

[–]NottaGrammerNasi 0 points1 point ago

I think you basically illustrated my point. The owners of the cats are the ones who get the love and attention from their cats. Strangers they don't care about. And I would say about 95% of the dogs I've met are pretty stupid. Not really their fault though. Most dog owners I know buy their puppies because they're cute, don't train them, treat them like people and do all sort of other wrong things raising a dog. And they don't "sit" until you've spent a couple hours repeatedly for them to learn that command. Those same 95% of dogs I've met are typically unruly, jump all over people, bark at squirrels and shadows, lick everything and eat your shoes. And yes, those owners make excuses for them too. And no, I haven't met a dog yet that would scare me off. Protector? Hahaha... If I know you have a dog, he might be a threat and I plan to burgle your house? I'll either I'll throw him a steak or hit him with a bat. Dog down and out. Besides, those same 95% of dogs would rather lick my face then protect anyone. Now... Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with dogs. My point here is most people don't know how to properly raise, train and take care of a dog. I picked up a few stray kittens and they're in my basement now. All I had to do is set them in the litter box once and POOF, they always go there. On a side note, there have been a few pretty awesome dogs I've met. My g/f's dog is pretty cool. It never barks, never jumps on anything or anyone and never licks anything. Probably the best trained dog I've met so far.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]missmichellini 1 point2 points ago

Someone on reddit using incorrect grammar? I think *you're in the wrong place...

[–]catdoctor 3 points4 points ago

Men are not independent. Taking care of a man is a heck of a lot more work than scooping the litter box and opening a can of Fancy Feast.

[–]eternalsap 0 points1 point ago

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat...? What a broad/subjective thing to say. If every man you met was like that, what bad luck you have.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Randomacts -1 points0 points ago

Good good..

Please make me a sandwich..

I remembered this time!

[–]astrae 3 points4 points ago

I’ve never understood why men love dogs.

Dogs are dependent, they always want to listen to you talk, they’re always there whether or not you call, they never go out at night, and they are always overly excited to see you and want constant attention.

In other words, every quality that men hate in a woman, they love in a dog.

[–]unlockable 0 points1 point ago

That's why I don't like cats.

[–]im_too_literal 2 points3 points ago

Cats, however, rarely disappoint you in the bedroom.

[–]kanashiro 0 points1 point ago

To the top my friend!

[–]t3hdoct0r 0 points1 point ago

I want to show this to my wife. I also like sleeping in the house.

[–]ceruleanfire 0 points1 point ago

"Independant"

I haven't met many guys like that.

Cats understand the important of keeping clean.

[–]shrapin 0 points1 point ago

How much can one REPOST?!

[–]cynicalsweetheart 2 points3 points ago

Actually, it has been studied, and afterwards, theorized, that women - especially single and/or childless women - love cats because their facial structure is, moreso than any other common pet, similar to that of a human infant's facial structure. It's basically their reproductive instinct coming into play. "I don't have any babies. I'm supposed to have babies! What to do, what to do... This look kind of like a baby. It must count."

This being said, I love cats... but mostly because they're basically retard and run into walls. Which, let's face it, is hilarious.

[–]xdividebyzerox 7 points8 points ago

this thread isn't going to be misogynist at all...

[–]nettles121 4 points5 points ago

i'd want an independent man. and who says cats don't listen? my cat will sit in my lap for hours while i talk. my cat is a house cat, and hates being outside. and he cuddles when he wants, but lets me know when he needs space. whoever wrote this must have a very limited experience of cats.

[–]aboardthegravyboat 13 points14 points ago

The cat doesn't listen to shit. He's probably watching the game. You don't notice this because you don't expect the cat to talk back. Advantage: cat.

[–]Matt08642 4 points5 points ago

You talk to your cat for hours?

[–]nettles121 0 points1 point ago

not often. i have when i was upset before. i'm not proud of it.

[–]Matt08642 1 point2 points ago

It's ok, I love cats.

[–]amybexx93[S] 6 points7 points ago

I agree with you on that one, I have 2 cats. But to be honest, it's not meant to be a true statement, it's just a humorous little quote that someone made up.

[–]DasGanon 2 points3 points ago

Conversely, there's also a quote about men and dogs to similar effect. I can't find it, but I did find this hilariously stupid article.

Edit: Also, don't search "Men and dogs" there's a link that's not nightmare fuel, but very WTF worthy.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ApplesnPie 11 points12 points ago

She's definitely a woman

[–]Lies_About_Gender 1 point2 points ago

So, your cat, is a man in cat form.

[–]showyouagoodtime 2 points3 points ago

And... cats cant lie to you and they are so soft and fluffy!

[–]JeffertonAlive 0 points1 point ago

IRONY

[–]Space_Penguin 2 points3 points ago

Men and Dogs

I've never understood why men love dogs.

Dogs are dependent, they are always right next to you, they whine when you don't do what they want, and their idea of a "gift" is the worst thing imaginable.

In other words, every quality that men hate in a woman, they love in a dog.

[–]sillyparrot2102 0 points1 point ago

I'm a woman, and I hate cats.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]totallywontstabyou 1 point2 points ago

No, lesbians love pussy.

[–]Sevren 0 points1 point ago

Well isn't my face red.

[–]skillasaurus707 0 points1 point ago

I was thinking those qualities were in a woman... then it said man.

[–]QueenCole 0 points1 point ago

Every cat is different. My cat often acts like a dog (possibly because he was raised by them from a young age) so I sometime feel like I have both. Also, cats are (in general) less maintenance than dogs so...I don't know, the list makes it seem like a high maintenance guy so I don't get the argument.

[–]beluga_whales 0 points1 point ago

the reposts are so op....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Those are not the qualities they love in a man, but are generally qualities of men they are attracted to.

[–]Organs 1 point2 points ago

Most women I've met prefer dogs and hate cats. Maybe they caught on...?

[–]ElyBoBelly 0 points1 point ago

Disagree. I own cats. They're both hated equally.

[–]Squid11 1 point2 points ago

but cats are fluffy and cute :) men are not

[–]scrag45 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty fluffy...

[–]Relevant_jokes -1 points0 points ago

My son will soon be getting to that age where he acts like my cat. He'll start bringing birds home in such poor condition I'll have to take them into the backyard and kill them with a shovel.

[–]MrColdBalls 1 point2 points ago

Yeah well at least we can stick our dick in them in all kinds of positions and not just sit cute and quite on their lap. It's a trade off I'm willing to take. Take that cats!

I think why cats act so cute towards women is that the language barrier between cats and women is much greater than between men and women. I doubt they'd be as cute if they understood a word humans are saying.

[–]penguintheft 1 point2 points ago

Sent this to my girlfriend. Her exact response: "This overlooks one thing though:The fact that cats are ADORABLE!!"

[–]briirox 1 point2 points ago

Every cat I've ever owned has loved the shit out of me and has greeted me with purry, fuzzy, love every time I come near. I think that's what I find attractive in a mate as well.. >.>

[–]Apokalyps 0 points1 point ago

That's actually kinda what bitches want.

[–]Limarch88 0 points1 point ago

Thats why we can't live without men. We need you!

[–]alclarkey 0 points1 point ago

No they only say they hate those qualities in a mine, yet they all seem to gravitate towards men like that.

[–]stringerbell 0 points1 point ago

What??? Cats don't have money...

[–]LusciousDanielle 0 points1 point ago

This explains why I don't love cats.

[–]RisingBlackHole 0 points1 point ago

am I the only one who loves birds? Love dogs too and if it wasn't for some stupid cats that like to fuck and fight at around 3:00am, I would have the same level of love, respect, and appreciation for them.

[–]bohemianmichfestie 1 point2 points ago

Cats also don't rape/abuse. My favorite thing about cats is that they are sensitive to your feelings. My cat always comes running when I'm sad and keeps me company.

[–]Phoxey 0 points1 point ago

It's because they are exactly like women.

[–]motney 0 points1 point ago

It's what they secretly love. Sometimes my bf will actually ask me to repeat myself because he didn't hear what I said. I just tell him I'm just bitching it's not worth repeating, no worries. I feel like that is a sign of a good relationship, that he wants to know what I'm bitching about but I'm aware enough that he doesn't really need to hear it.

[–]hippostiptoes 1 point2 points ago

I think cats are a lot more like women honestly, and dogs are more like men.

[–]StarXSick 0 points1 point ago

Idk I'm a chick n I love dogs <333

[–]renotime 0 points1 point ago

Women really do look for those qualities in men, it's just subconscious.

[–]Rubbertramp 0 points1 point ago

You'll notice women don't normally let cats put their dick in them either.

[–]bigtaterman 0 points1 point ago

But I love cats and I'm a man.

[–]ViolatingUncle -1 points0 points ago

Repost

[–]lurveloaveluff 1 point2 points ago

I am a woman who doesn't like cats. I think they're assholes. Dogs are much better.

Also, it's flawed reasoning to connect that since women like cats they must like cats because all their bad traits.

[–]DaKuteCate 0 points1 point ago

I love cats cause of they're cute fuzzy little faces and they purr. They also spaz out and run around the house and end up smacking into a wall which is hilarious. But when I get my own place I'm getting a snake..less fur and snake skin is easier to clean up.

[–]DeerParkWaterbottle 0 points1 point ago

I've also wondered this about horses. They are smelly, dirty, gigantic, and can be very dangerous. Plus their stables often have big spiders hanging around.

Basically, I find the whole experience of going to see horses to be unpleasant and terrifying. Yet little girls think it's awesome.

[–]magicman419 -1 points0 points ago

I had to read it over again, and so did you

[–]BigTool 0 points1 point ago

It's like cats cats cats cats cats back in the day like cats cats cats?

[–]dressedseriously 0 points1 point ago

What kind of cats do you people own? My cat is loving and playful, but also likes to be independent. So, it's an animal I can pet and send away when I want to play video games or something.

We led separate lives, but live together and occasionally cuddle.

[–]MonocleWearingCat 3 points4 points ago

most women don't want to fuck their cats

[–]Offensive_Brute 4 points5 points ago

Freud would disagree.

[–]MonocleWearingCat 2 points3 points ago

Freud had a lot of thoughts I give no fucks about

[–]Offensive_Brute 4 points5 points ago

i feel the same way about most people ever.

[–]MonocleWearingCat 4 points5 points ago

A good policy to have, no doubt.

[–]anzie 1 point2 points ago

I think the best explanation to this, is that cats are pets and man is a human companion.

[–]paranode 0 points1 point ago

If you've ever seen the "I date douchebags" phenomenon that is so prevalent with women, the explanation becomes clear.

What turns them on and what they find conducive to good relationships are totally different things.

[–]skytiger859 -1 points0 points ago

Cats don't care if your thighs get a little chubby. It's a more comfy lap to sit in. Cats don't care of you hog the bed, they'll just climb on top of you and sleep on your chest. (at least, my cat does that. She thinks my boobs are comfortable, apparently.) Cats don't snore, cats kiss your face just for the hell of it (again, my cat does this) cats don't piss on the toilet seat, cats eat whatever you feed them and don't complain about your cooking, cats can't break up with you. Did I mention they're furry and adorable?

[–]Cerealcomma 0 points1 point ago

Ha, ha! It's so true! I hate men but I love cats! The truth makes it hilarious!

[–]supermonkey1313 1 point2 points ago

But cats are adorable!

[–]PlanningParty -1 points0 points ago

Women can have those qualities too. All men don't have those qualities. You're just stupid.

[–]thebigdonkey 1 point2 points ago

Wat.

I wish I could downvote you twice: Once for bringing a serious argument into a Funny thread and once for that argument being a blatant straw man.

[–]amybexx93[S] 0 points1 point ago

I did not write it. Apparently it's been reposted several times, so find the guy who did write it and call him stupid.

[–]MinotaurusRex -1 points0 points ago

I think this is a jay leno joke. yuck.

[–]matt_will 0 points1 point ago

They like cats because they can't argue back.

[–]grospoliner -3 points-2 points ago

This is just patently untrue. I've had independent cats and I've had cats that need to be pet constantly.

[–]ruthlesscanuk -1 points0 points ago

And you could sort of say the same generalization for men and their love of dogs, right?

[–]digitalchaos 3 points4 points ago

Men love bitches?

[–]ruthlesscanuk 0 points1 point ago

haha That's good.

[–]dragonsroc 2 points3 points ago

dogs don't ask for your money, only your love

[–]QueenCole 0 points1 point ago

And your food. And your bed. And your time. And your shoes (if they are so inclined).

[–]asldkfououhe -2 points-1 points ago

bwahaha women am i right guys. women

[–]DoorLord 0 points1 point ago

It's because cats are cute. Don't play dumb, you know it.

[–]xtian11 0 points1 point ago

Someone doesn't know cats too well.

[–]tommietee -2 points-1 points ago

women like giving cats fish

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Bigd988 1 point2 points ago

Male replacement?

[–]hfbrown1 -1 points0 points ago

If I had a plastic ball pit full of upvotes, I would let you have it.

[–]OfTheFields -1 points0 points ago

"Please no: Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead." - sidebar

[–]RFGuy -3 points-2 points ago

SNAP!! Motherf***ing snap!!!

[–]thebutcherswife -2 points-1 points ago

Cats tend to appeal to submissive people, dogs to dominant people.

Look inside yourself, you know this to be true - accept it, embrace it.

[–]muddzm 0 points1 point ago

I've observed that most people who like pets tend to like both cats and dogs without limiting themselves to being a "dog/cat person". And even if they don't, you should still stop making up shitty kindergarten-level theories.

[–]thebutcherswife -1 points0 points ago

In my observation (just check out the comments on this thread), people DO tend to identify as a dog OR cat person. Dogs are very submissive creatures (to their owners), while cats are often referred to as "jerks": the cat will do what it pleases. Try not to blindfold yourself because you don't like what it says about you - the hypothesis may be valid.

[–]dolorsit 0 points1 point ago

Dogs are very submissive creatures

If you're taking your theory seriously, wouldn't that just mean that all dog people are control freaks, while cat people are more inclined to be independent and accepting of others. (Just FYI - I don't actually believe this.)

[–]thebutcherswife -1 points0 points ago

No of course not. If you read my original post, is said dog people TEND to be dominant, and cat people TEND to be submissive. And even then dominant does NOT mean control freak, just as submissive does NOT mean independent and accepting of others. I'd wager most of the downvotes came from cat people.

[–]dolorsit 0 points1 point ago

Uh, that was a sarcastic post making fun of your initial logic. I think the downvotes probably came about because you insist on making ridiculous assumptions about dog and cat people.

[–]muddzm 0 points1 point ago

You assume everyone who doesn't agree with you is just closing their eyes to what they deep inside know is the ultimate truth? Uh-huh...

Honestly, neither of us have statistics to back up anything we say. However here's some cool random information about people with dogs/cats, maybe you will find it interesting, I sure did.

Btw, I think you see that most people in this thread have taken a side because it's only worth saying something if you "support" either one or the other. A comment like "cats and dogs are awesome!" is just not interesting to anyone.

[–]thebutcherswife 0 points1 point ago

Shhhhhhh.... learn to like it