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Oh Sweet Jesus... (i.imgur.com)
submitted 5 months ago by Hal_Nein_Thousand
[–]sneekywan 145 points146 points147 points 5 months ago
Sometimes ya got to squeeze.......
[–]nateisgreat999 80 points81 points82 points 5 months ago
Sometimes you gotta say please...
[–]sneekywan 74 points75 points76 points 5 months ago
Sometimes ya gotta say, hey...
[–]kitty_leap 78 points79 points80 points 5 months ago
I'm gonna fuck you...
[–]sneekywan 69 points70 points71 points 5 months ago
softly....
[–]mikupgirl 68 points69 points70 points 5 months ago
I'm gonna screw you gently...
[–]sneekywan 64 points65 points66 points 5 months ago
I'm gonna hump you , sweetly...
[–]React420 61 points62 points63 points 5 months ago
I'm gonna ball you, DISCREETLY-A...
[–]Tzakoh 53 points54 points55 points 5 months ago
And then you say hey I brought you flowers...
[–]Xqwz[] 56 points57 points58 points 5 months ago
And then you say wait a minute sally
[–]HawkXTracts -11 points-10 points-9 points 5 months ago
Sometimes you gotta say, say...
[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 55 points56 points57 points 5 months ago
Please add a "honk, honk" sound effect.
Then I will be able to die happy.
[–]markymark89 13 points14 points15 points 5 months ago
the last frame on this gif had me rollin, so wrong and yet so funny
[–]Whenyoucanhaveawank -13 points-12 points-11 points 5 months ago
It's a gif.
[–]JacksonHannan 9 points10 points11 points 5 months ago
/r/Gifsound dude.
[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 6 points7 points8 points 5 months ago
All I want is a gif with sound.
And some sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.
Is that so much to ask?
[–]Butterlegs 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago
Here you go, it's got both.
[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
Let us sing now a song of praise for Butterlegs.
For he hath taken up the gauntlet mighty and dispensed such wisdom and humour that shall be long remembered by the dwellers of this place, which is called Reddit.
Praise him indeed for the image of our Saviour rendered as it was meant to be by God Almighty - honkin' on a boobie.
And he has let run free the creatures of the ocean as augmented with the amplification of light through the stimulated emission of radiation.
Therefore, let mighty praise be to Butterlegs unto the end of the Internets.
And let us say -- amen!
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Did you say... Sharks with laser beams?
[–]unsweatened 22 points23 points24 points 5 months ago
Was not expecting this to be a gif at all
[–]JohnAbruzzi 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Timing was perfect.
[–]Tan7 54 points55 points56 points 5 months ago
It's like a bag of sand
[–]ValiantTurtle19 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
Nice try, 40 year-old virgin.
[–]Irrelevant-Statement 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Finally, I reference I understand!
[–][deleted] 95 points96 points97 points 5 months ago
I am very glad I clicked this.
[–]HyperionsChaos 12 points13 points14 points 5 months ago
Oh man, this was a great start to my unavoidable long work day.
[–]HetfieldJ 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
Can you mail me the HD version please.
[–]jyetie 25 points26 points27 points 5 months ago
Lysa Arryn?
[–]This_was_hard_to_do 7 points8 points9 points 5 months ago
and little sickly Robert: "I want to see the little man fly!"
[–]condoge 4 points5 points6 points 5 months ago
Lisa Ann?
[–]thegreatwhitemenace 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Oh Sweet Robin
[–]donttouchmyfeet 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Man, I hate her and her whiny bitch son.
[–]theriverrat 23 points24 points25 points 5 months ago
In the early renaissance, painting and sculpture become more humanized, less stiff and formal, and showing Jesus nursing was one way that artists made the subjects more human. There was also a subtext, encouraging wealthy women to nurse their own babies rather than hiring a wet nurse. "If it was good enough for Mary....."
[–]mhfc 6 points7 points8 points 5 months ago
There's also a whole subtext about the Nursing Mary ("Virgo Lactans")...without bogging everyone down with too much iconographic analysis, images of Mary nursing the Infant Christ often predominantly showed the breast, towards the direction of the viewer. The viewer then could imagine him/herself also being nurtured by the milk of the Virgin (there's all sorts of contemporary texts that expound on Mary's milk as a substance to "feed" one's soul). The period during late Middle Ages/early Renaissance focused on the Virgin as a kind, loving, tender and nurturing intercessor on behalf of mankind; this iconographic motif was one way that this "nurturing" aspect of the Virgin was manifested.
[–]rabbischmooleyishot 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago
Thanks for sharing. I just posted below that when I was in Peru I bought one of these paintings that I had personally dubbed 'The Lactating Virgin Mary' ... HA! without knowing that they are referred to as the Virgo Lactans. I frankly loved it because it was mildly tacky and something unusual. Yes mine has the little milk droplets. I have it framed and up on my wall and can admire from my sofa. But I love it for its uniqueness!
[–]fharion 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
I want to say with more than an upvote that this is my favorite thing about Reddit. I love stumbling onto learning like this.
[–]Notyourfaja 43 points44 points45 points 5 months ago
I was listening to Kids by MGMT when the GIF opened and the beat synched perfectly.
[–][deleted] 35 points36 points37 points 5 months ago
Control yourself, take only what you need from tit
[–]kinss 84 points85 points86 points 5 months ago
Thanks for not posting this to /r/atheism.
[–]gummyvitamins 12 points13 points14 points 5 months ago
relevant http://uglyrenaissancebabies.tumblr.com/
[–]E-Squid 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
I love this so much. I discovered it a few months back and wished I had bookmarked it before I moved on.
[–]wtfblue 31 points32 points33 points 5 months ago
Why the hell is her boob so flat?
[–]animevamp727 29 points30 points31 points 5 months ago
the time period... one women were getting married as young girls, around the age of 13 or 15 really and 2 they most likely didnt use a model.
[–]stompythebeast 7 points8 points9 points 5 months ago
Didn't they use boys or models? IIRC it's why women in some classical paintings have manly backs and torsos.
[–]animevamp727 12 points13 points14 points 5 months ago
they did during the high renaissance i know, not so much before then. this piece because of the amount of gold leaf used, the child like christ, the shading and on her dress but not the outer layer and the overlapping figures makes me think this was a transitional piece into the early renaissance and away from the byzantine era....but im not directly familiar with this painting so i could be entirely wrong on that...(rococo also used alot of gold leaf but not on paintings)
[–]Drawtaru -5 points-4 points-3 points 5 months ago
Yeah but she was supposed to be a young virgin girl. I don't know if you've ever seen young virgin girls' breasts, but even in women who don't wear bras, young women have very perky breasts. That image just makes no sense at all.
[–]animevamp727 15 points16 points17 points 5 months ago
um. i am a girl so i have been a young virgin girl... breasts can be rather weird shapes when they first appear...
[–]Drawtaru 8 points9 points10 points 5 months ago
Well mine appeared already gigantic, but I meant that THAT IMAGE makes no sense, meaning one of her breasts looks normal and the other looks like flattened bread dough.
[–]animevamp727 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
oh, yeah i didnt even look at the other one...i was to transfixed with devil jesus...yeah- i have no explanation.
[–]gypsywhisperer 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago
I'm a young virgin girl and my breasts weren't perky. Mary was said to be 14 when she had Jesus. That could be part of it.
[–]cualcrees 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago
'cause sweet baby lord Jesus keeps squeezing them!
[–]mhfc 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago
If you're going to complain about flat boobs....I present you Jean Fouquet's take on über-round (and out-of-place) boobs: http://www.artbible.info/art/large/601.html
[–]meeohmi 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
C'mon.. seriously? Breasts frequently look "floppy" after breastfeeding babies, especially multiple babies.
[–]donkeylipswhenshaven 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
well, my day isn't going to get any better than this
[–]corazo909 5 points6 points7 points 5 months ago
What kid wouldn't want a pizza pocket?
[–]valiyum 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
MOTHER OF GOD
[–]HymenAnnihilator 24 points25 points26 points 5 months ago
My initial reaction: http://i.imgur.com/S9Am5.gif
My subsequent reaction: http://i.imgur.com/RIAoE.gif
[–]MONDARIZ 45 points46 points47 points 5 months ago
Is she the one that killed her child?
[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points 5 months ago
Is that the woman who everyone still assumes killed her child because of media hacks like Nancy Grace, despite being declared not guilty?
Yup
[–]sociomaladaptivist 7 points8 points9 points 5 months ago
This guy knows his shit
[–]lolita_the_craisin 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Technically, the jury believed she was guilty too. They acquitted her because there was not enough evidence to convict her.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
And that's exactly why we shouldn't assume she's guilty.
[–]mallybear69 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
There wasn't enough evidence against O.J. either.
And, for the sake of argument, what evidence do you have that he was guilty?
I mean he did kinda write a book about how he would have murdered them.
Has Casey Anthony done anything nearly as self-incriminating as that?
[–]mallybear69 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Does she have to? Our judicial system does everything in its power to protect criminals from being unjustly charged. Unfortunately this also means far too many criminals get off scot-free.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
You really don't think she is a murderer? Look her her laughing too. Is that not a dead give away?
That's a pretty intense accusation for such a minor action.
[–]HymenAnnihilator 21 points22 points23 points 5 months ago
[–]C8H10N4O2Rush 20 points21 points22 points 5 months ago
Shes crazy hot !
[–]Pwoshi 69 points70 points71 points 5 months ago
The best part is that if you get her pregnant, you only have to deal with the child for like 3 years, tops.
[–]cassidymccormick 13 points14 points15 points 5 months ago
I'm definitely going to hell for the amount of time I just spent laughing at that.
[–]Ugstuboy 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Relevant .gif is still relevant.
[–]Smartio 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
ಠ_ಠ
[–]el___diablo 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
I definately would. But, I'd feel like a male preying mantis while doing it.
[–]TheFlamingGit 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Crazy is the defining word in your statement.
[–]dkpowa16 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Story please?
[–]CarolineTurpentine 11 points12 points13 points 5 months ago
Casey Anthony
[–]tq92 12 points13 points14 points 5 months ago
Nice story.
[–]dkpowa16 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Thanks. I had heard of this but haven't seen the picture, wasn't quite sure!
[–]rwbombc 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
she killed her child because she got tired of taking care of her and got off.
[–]ThrowawayChamp 8 points9 points10 points 5 months ago
Alannis Morisette + Summer Glau
[–]TwentySteven 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
I actually thought it was Summer Glau until I saw the comment below it.
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 months ago
My reaction: aw yiss
[–]mcglauser -12 points-11 points-10 points 5 months ago
logged in so i could upvote, would upvote again
[–]whitenasty 9 points10 points11 points 5 months ago
every link should be this link.
[–]Soniccyanide 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
"Whatcha' doing?"
"Nothing"
[–]ksaj 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Happy cake day.
[–]Soniccyanide 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Thanks
[–]N3PHxx 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
hahaha ayoooooo!
[–]snehituralu 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Anyone else hear a squeaky toy at the end?
[–]Nerosabe 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
Jesus was a ginger? How did he get resurrected without a soul then?
[–]adw00t 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
I was not laughing...till the vigorous hand movement happened.
[–]chefboykid 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Never gets old. Comedy gold.
[–]avizzlen1nj4 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
I just laughed for 5 minutes straight
[–][deleted] 5 months ago
[deleted]
[–]DiggeryDave 7 points8 points9 points 5 months ago
But I bet Comedy Channels don't have titty squeezes like that.
[–]learntofart 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago
pretty relevant reaction
[–]ancvz 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
NSFW!!
[–]EtherBoo 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Seriously, this needs to be flagged.
[–]vaelon 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
This is my new favorite gif......the squeezing at the end made it
[–]RockinOutCockOut 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Turn those jugs into wine and suckle away, Baby Jesus!
[–]Thatswhatshesaid3909 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Someone really took the time
[–]floatmachine 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
come on tittie!
[–]Moskra 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
haven't outburst lol'd in a while, very nice.
[–]Blaze_Kick 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
The first picture was enough to get me laughing. Then I just lost it. hahaha
[–]And_Everything 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Funniest thing Ive seen all day
[–]FiveBombs 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
I watched this with The Dark Knight Rises Bane's Theme on in the background and it synced perfectly. This feel is forever burnt into my cerebral cortex.
[–]Charles_K 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
BASARA BASARA HONK HONK
[–]643263623 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
The last time this painting showed up on reddit, the userbase took it as a chance to call the artist a virgin neckbeard. No joke.
[–]3LAU 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Even he's getting more than me
[–]Mikestheman2be 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Wait, since when was Jesus a ginger? Am I missing something..?
[–]BEREAVERATOR 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
This is why I come to Reddit.
[–]smeaglelovesmaster 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Baby Jesus, "I know you want this, Mom. You're a virgin."
[–]TBS96 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
I swear, reddit has fucked up my internet log.
Well I have a new favorite GIF.
[–]leo_neutrino 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
just...like....that...yeah
[–]Cerblu -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Soon... no wait, NOW! (honk honk)
[–]SirCharlesworth -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
I'm enjoying the casual 'yeah, I'm enjoying this' face
[–]dudSpudson -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
I lost it when Jesus started squeezing the titty
[–]ROFLance -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
And he walked on down the hall....
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Yummy sacrilege.
[–]ddo405 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Great, now I have no idea how to explain my laughing to my coworkers...
[–]ksaj 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Tell them you just saw how much your salary raise is.
[–]LeeshDawn -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
This is NSFW
[–]interruptedgirl77 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
That is so wrong, yet oh so right...
[–]redyellowand -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
I have so many pictures of baby Jesus coming on to Mary it's ridiculous
[–]Giantgreaseball -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
I cannot watch that without hearing a honking noise in my mind.
Oh sweet baby Sagan.
[–]monkeyproony -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Sweet. Baby. Jesus.
[–]rabbischmooleyishot -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
So when I was in Peru, I found a painting like this as well that I absolutely had to have because it was so tacky! I call mine The Lactating Virgin Mary because in my painting there's the nekkid boobie with little milk droplets coming out with little baby Jesus.
But I love this GIF ... totally cracked me up!
inter time? Doesn't that mean only part of the time?
[–]bhz10 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Wincest?
[–]thelordofcheese -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
mmm... sweet Jesus... drool
[–]playswithknives -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
I wish I knew where my old art history professor was - he'd absolutely love this.
[–]1mike1000 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Dear God. I let that play waaay too long.
[–]frezzo 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
I find this mildly disturbing.
[–]taysam 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
This makes me wanna cry. It's like he's violating his mother...
[–]GingerJesus89 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Ginger jesus? Perposterous!
[–]Sexylisk 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
This is fucking hilarious!
[–]Ozymandiazzz -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
That actually made me say "what the fuck"....
[–]Eoiny 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago*
The way children are depicted in paintings of the Middle Ages is very unsettling. It's as though the artists never saw children in real life, so they just paint them as tiny adults. Creepy.
It was actually midget porn.
[–]mbinder 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
I think this one is even better
[–]VitaminSea -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Why is this in /r/WTF?
[–]Alascar 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Because it is Jesus.
[–]Eurysilas -2 points-1 points0 points 5 months ago
Not WTF.
[–]dbt4949 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
That is just annoying.
[–]ksaj -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
Probably only annoying to Mary.
[–]weinaynay -2 points-1 points0 points 5 months ago
I have the strangest boner.
[–]satur9 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
You, sir are going to hell in a handbasket.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 5 months ago
Haha, oh man good shit.
[–]mookstar1 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
This. This pleases me.
[–]WhiskeyMeteorite 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
That last part was most unexpected.
[–]ancientshoes -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
I laughed so hard at the end
His father apparently never did...
[–]Carlo_The_Magno -9 points-8 points-7 points 5 months ago
As an Orthodox Christian, I'd be really thankful if this didn't become a meme. These are a unique and treasured art style, and further they deserve reverence. Please?
[–]logangarvey 3 points4 points5 points 5 months ago
Your sacred cow is on the menu sir.
[–]Radico87 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Don't like it, don't watch it. Stop trying to force your nonsense onto others.
[–]Carlo_The_Magno 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
If you think I posted this for a religious reason, you're just an angry, cynical person.
[–]Radico87 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
As an Orthodox Christian
So, does this make you an imbecile?
[–]Carlo_The_Magno 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
As a member of that community, I would like to see the art explored in Reddit's positive ways. Anybody who has said "Why is this red square considered modern art when it has no real value" can probably appreciate the symbolism, tradition, and value in this art. It's fascinating how much goes into it. My religious beliefs have little to do with it; I could care less if Redditors care about my religious beliefs, only my community's contributions to the art world.
tl;dr It's about my community, not my religion.
[–]Radico87 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
You said "as an orthodox christian" and that you want people to stop doing x. That's idiotic of you.
You're saying it as an orthodox christian. Your rant means nothing in this context.
[–]Carlo_The_Magno -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
That phrase explained my association to icons. Nothing more. Now give up your angry rant.
[–]Radico87 1 point2 points3 points 5 months ago
Now give up your angry rant.
Unintelligent and unoriginal. Anyway, since you can't understand why what you said is wrong it's not fair on you that I keep interacting.
[–]Carlo_The_Magno -2 points-1 points0 points 5 months ago
I'm sorry, "wrong"? That's odd, here I thought disagreeing wasn't a reason for downvoting. You choose not to believe what I believe. I'm not asking you to believe what I believe. I'm asking you not to attack the artwork I revere. Also, insulting someone's intelligence because of religious belief is best saved for the /r/atheism circlejerk.
You were downvoted because nothing you said was not logical or consistent, ie, wrong. And FYI, it wasn't me.
If you don't like something, don't view it. Don't you dare force your religious bias on people who don't share it - that is precisely what you did. Coincidentally, that's called arrogance and as far as you believe (or should), that's a deadly sin.
What you said was you're a christian, are offended by this, and don't want others to see it, all the while proclaiming you're not speaking from a religious standpoint.
I'm sure the contradiction is lost on you, though. Pity.
[–]heb0 -1 points0 points1 point 5 months ago
as a practitioner of poor grammar, your proper use of commas, offends me, could you, please stop, doing that. my beliefs deserve respect,,,
I, apologize.
[–]Rahrahraccoon -6 points-5 points-4 points 5 months ago
Especially creepy since I was listening to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCh4oICt47g&feature=related
[–]Chaytup 2 points3 points4 points 5 months ago
ok, bye
[–]ialwayscommenthigh 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
Cya
[–]Smartio 0 points1 point2 points 5 months ago
http://i.imgur.com/EkA7G.gif
[–]Matthew1337 -2 points-1 points0 points 5 months ago
I love this GIF, I feel it was made to satisfy my sense of humour.
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
π Rendered by PID 17147 on app-173 at 2013-01-22 10:19:29.833906+00:00 running f40af60.
[–]sneekywan 145 points146 points147 points ago
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