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1151

I think I will start marketing this to creationists. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by shaman420

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[–]Naruen 24 points25 points ago

Just 90%? It's less effective than a condom! We need to work on Ear-Rubbers, but secretly also work on the legislation against them. We'll rake in their money by the canal-loads!

[–]HymenAnnihilator 9 points10 points ago

Thought the same thing. Also the condom reference seems very fitting.

[–]Tom_Aralli 2 points3 points ago

Was the pun intended?

[–]HymenAnnihilator 2 points3 points ago

Nope.

[–]ysun -5 points-4 points ago

the 10% is for bible/quoran/torah etc reading

[–]Haz_Matt 7 points8 points ago

That isn't science.

[–]5858butseriously 3 points4 points ago

Reading takes SOME science.

[–]Aninjaassassin 2 points3 points ago

No it doesn't it takes knowledge.

[–]5858butseriously 1 point2 points ago

I was being sarcastic. Plus in order to read a book you've gotta have eyes. SCIENCE!

[–]Aninjaassassin 1 point2 points ago

SCIENCE always wins!

[–]Glarfugus 2 points3 points ago

The 10% is noise-cancellation science.

[–]Jojhy 1 point2 points ago

A bullet is close to that 100% if you know how to use it!

[–]lorensingley 15 points16 points ago

From the author of "Na Na Na, I Can't Hear You", The Christian guide to modern life.

[–]topchief1 2 points3 points ago

Na na na na na na na na Jesus!

[–]WhatWouldJesusSay 1 point2 points ago

.... What?

[–]sideflanker 1 point2 points ago

This could've been the perfect chance to post something funny, relevant to your username and relevant to the thread.

but you missed it

[–]joxp 0 points1 point ago

Can't tell if joking or not, but he DID.

[–]jlking3 0 points1 point ago

No, it was exactly relevant to his username.

"What," would Jesus say.

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 6 points7 points ago

If you have true faith, you don't need man's help to block out reason.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 1 point2 points ago

http://imgur.com/GulCt

[–]Gaudeamus 1 point2 points ago

I would do you, Italian Barrel Roll.

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 0 points1 point ago

But that would be a sin and... ah, hell with it, I'm sure I can figure some way to retcon my way into heaven.

[–]wedderspoon 5 points6 points ago

You should develop a kit for smug assholes so you can cover both sides of the debate...

[–]TheLiberalSoup 0 points1 point ago

give credit to chattiestspike2

[–]MattioHimself16 2 points3 points ago

I myself am a Christian, but I'm more open to stuff like God using the big bang or even using evolution.

[–]theshiftypickle 1 point2 points ago

Don't worry kid I was an open christian once too. It won't be long now and you'll be one of us! Muahahahaha!

[–]MattioHimself16 -1 points0 points ago

Naw. I've seen some interesting things before.

[–]SQSing 2 points3 points ago

That cannot be explained through natural processes? Do share.

[–]MattioHimself16 0 points1 point ago

Ok. Well, I was at this jank church camp (go figure. It was jank cause it was like 400 degrees and the boys and girls swim was separated, which I don't care cause I'm super gay :D and easily distracted) there was this rather strange girl I had become friends with and she always said "Praise the mother" honestly I dunno what that was about. Anyway, about mid way through the week she tumbled down one of the hills surrounding the area and jacked her ankle up. It was all bruised and swollen and she couldn't put any pressure on it, so they wrapped it up and put her on crutches. That evening we, of course, had a service. Well there was this big prayer/worship/altar call type thingie. She ended up coming over to us and this counselor lady and asked us to heal her foot. So we prayed for a bit and she unwrapped it and tried to step on it, but couldn't really walk on it. The counselor lady was not having it, so we continued praying do a while and she ended up putting her foot down and she ran up on stage proclaiming what just happened. She never said praise the mother anymore though. Anyway, I've had some weird stud happen to me and my family, but nothing that proves anything too serious.

[–]SQSing -1 points0 points ago

This can easily be explained through natural cause and probably some placebo effects.

E: An ankle that was hurt, not diagnosed as anything, then stops hurting later in the day is no miracle. Why is it that miracles/divine intervention never happens to a broken bone? If it had been broken, would your prayers have mended it back to new? No, because "miracles" only happen from vague events and ignorance (in this case medical ignorance).

[–]MattioHimself16 1 point2 points ago

Ouch. That was kinda harsh. Meh, I'll keep on the path I'm on now.

[–]SQSing 0 points1 point ago

I didn't mean to sound rude although the natural truth can be very harsh at times depending on perspective. That which is true may not always be comforting, it can seem to be a cruel world at times.

[–]MattioHimself16 0 points1 point ago

Reality is a bitch. Ninja edit for spelling error.

[–]briang1339 0 points1 point ago

Do they come in children's sizes? Because oh man I am worried for my daughter going into this new biology class

[–]bro_digz 0 points1 point ago

Scientifically proven to block science.

[–]SimilarImage 5 points6 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
2 months kwaylub I found this to be pretty funny... here 18 555
8 months HollowBastion Who said that?! here 40 298

This is an automated response

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[–]TBS96 0 points1 point ago

well, he's only been a redditor in 27 days, so it might have been an accident.

[–]IsThisAboutAtheism 0 points1 point ago

No

[–]postguy2 0 points1 point ago

Wait a minute... you are apparently aware that the only thing that "does" have to do with atheism is the non-belief in gods.

What sorts of posts are "about atheism," then, except for 25 posts on the front page saying "We don't believe in God."?

[–]postguy2 -5 points-4 points ago

Wow, you really want us to stop hurting your precious feelings, don't you?

[–]IsThisAboutAtheism 3 points4 points ago

I would love it if you stopped hurting my feelings.

I'm an atheist, I'm pro-choice, I'm pro-gay marriage, and I think that the world would be a better place without a lot of organized religion.

Unfortunately, the constant inundation of childish, hateful, non-constructive horseshit that spews from this subreddit has made me embarrassed to identify myself as an atheist recently (to clarfiy. I don't mean embarrassing to others, I mean embarrassing to myself).

Logically, I know this is stupid. Just as I don't make incorrect snap judgements of anyone that calls themselves a Christan, or a Muslim, or a Buddhist, I know that most others wouldn't hear me say I'm an atheist and immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm a tyrannical bigot that can't espouse my beliefs in a constructive way. Unfortunately, I just can't get it out of my head that by calling myself an atheist, I implicitly endorse this type of thinking that's relevant on this subreddit.

This post in particular is a great example- of course I think creationists are wrong, but I would much rather keep a positive tone and try to open a dialog to change minds, instead of insulting them and having them shut down.

So yeah, I would love it if everyone would stop hurting my precious feelings, but until then this is my outlet.

[–]flipypy 1 point2 points ago

As a Christian, I give you an upvote, good sir.

To be honest, I've occasionally browsed this subreddit because I've heard people talk about it, and I could never help but think when I see most of the posts "Wow, I read comments on the internet all the time from non-Christians that a lot of Christians use the stupidest claims to support their beliefs... yet this is the kind of stuff that makes it to the top of r/Atheism? Their claims of using things like logic and tolerance for people is pretty much thrown out the window." (Fyi: I didn't make the assumption that all atheists are alike. I know, far too well, that some Christians, or more specifically self-proclaimed Christians, give the religion a bad rep.)

I was about to post something about this thread, but I think you said it greatly. Even though I don't see entirely eye to eye with you on religion, your adequate analysis of a lot of r/Atheism posts is spot on.

[–]mechanicalgod 0 points1 point ago

They should get themselves some Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses.

[–]MontgomeryB 0 points1 point ago

why not just follow Tommy

[–]Idonteven_ 0 points1 point ago

The background on this page is amazing, especially the Nietzsche-stache.

[–]El_Diablito 0 points1 point ago

You would be shocked to know that you could probably sell this if you had already established yourself amongst a Christian community. I have family that's "born-again" and they buy into anything with a Christian label. Recently I had an aunt and uncle pay for consultation with a Christian based nutritionist (I have no fucking idea what they means) who did give them solid nutrition advice and also sold them $500 worth of supplements.

I've also seen Christian Organic products that are labeled as grown without pesticides but instead with all natural processes and faith.

[–]postguy2 0 points1 point ago

Rather than a blindfold, many have their eyes open, but focused on their internet home page which is set on AnswersInGenesis or ICR.org to instantly undo whatever actual science they see. The ear plugs are still in, though.

[–]WarHymn 0 points1 point ago

Is there any chance of gravity failing while in use and the user floating to heaven?

[–]Irrelevant_bible_use 1 point2 points ago

One shouldn't block their ears and eyes from the ways of the Lord, it was as he said,

*"And the father of circumcision to those who are not of the Circumcision only, but who also walk in the steps of that faith of our father Abraham which he had, being yet uncircumcised." Romans 4:12 * Go with Christ.

[–]Pwillig -1 points0 points ago

Caution: merchandise most likely produced by science.

[–]Smith_Johnson 1 point2 points ago

-What's the other 10% of Science?

Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer aided enrichment centre.

-Oh. Well shit.

[–]WayneSchlegel 0 points1 point ago

What's the other 10% of Science?

I guess that may be gravity... You can't escape that!

[–]Smith_Johnson 1 point2 points ago

Even Christians should be able to understand the gravity of Gravity.

[–]WayneSchlegel 1 point2 points ago

Considering Bible Belt obesity it must be inevitable.

[–]Smith_Johnson 0 points1 point ago

BACON IS GUD FER MEH!

[–]FireAndSunshine -1 points0 points ago

The other 10%?

Computer science, geology, physics, mathematics, chemistry, what-have-you. Evolution literally makes up 90% of all science.

[–]Smith_Johnson 0 points1 point ago

I've met Catholics who denied Geology ('Earth is 6,000 years old'), Physics ('No man, you can create matter using energy, that's just dumb'), and once even Mathematics ('god could make 2+2=9 if he wanted to').

I submit to you that they're able to block 99.999% if science.

[–]FireAndSunshine -1 points0 points ago

The geology one, I'll give that to you. Physics wasn't a religious argument; it was a common mistake that many people of all religious creeds make. Mathematics? Where did he deny science? He never claimed that 2+2=9, did he? Just that the (alleged) "coder" of the universe could alter the code, no? I'm pretty sure an omnipresent, omnipowerful being would be able to alter the rules of a universe it constructed.

[–]WayneSchlegel 0 points1 point ago

I imagine people driving on the streets with this to avoid seeing Darwin-stickers on other cars.

[–]silloyd 0 points1 point ago

Source

[–]RainSnowHail -1 points0 points ago

This'll go great with my uberscarf!

[–]skruffey -1 points0 points ago

Lol. That is superb.

[–]eoliveri 0 points1 point ago

You know where to put the cork.

(It took 5 hours to get a "Tommy" reference?!)

[–]lamenta3 0 points1 point ago

I found this kit in a Marriott once: http://i.imgur.com/TD2bG.jpg

[–]TemplarOfNew 0 points1 point ago

Creationists don't believe in any science?

Or are we just talking about Amish people again?

[–]treasonistruth 0 points1 point ago

This gave me a good laugh!

And thanks for the ammo.

[–]boagshoags 0 points1 point ago

the eye cover looks like it's made of mixed fabrics...

[–]TheOssuary 0 points1 point ago

"Note: It blocks only 90% because the last 10% is being used to block your ears and eyes from common sense."

[–]Nyanthrax 0 points1 point ago

I'll take five!

[–]Rawtashk -1 points0 points ago

Let the circle jerk, BEGIN!!!

[–]postguy2 -4 points-3 points ago

Does saying things like that make you feel better about holding an absolutely asinine religious belief?

[–]slightlyasleep 3 points4 points ago

Just because he's pointing out the circlejerk in this subreddit, doesn't make him religious, bro. The shit that gets upvoted in r/atheism is always stupid shit like this.

[–]Rawtashk -1 points0 points ago

Does being a close-minded bigot make you feel better about holding onto your beliefs?

[–]postguy2 -2 points-1 points ago

Pointing out that theism is the celebration of ignorance and belief in outlandish, unsupported claims is bigotry?

Not believing that outlandish, unsupported claims are true is close-minded?

These are really thoughts that process inside of your brain and make sense to you?

[–]Rawtashk 0 points1 point ago

Yes, it is bigotry. Do you not know what bigotry is? Let me drop some knowledge on you!

big·ot·ry [big-uh-tree] noun, plural big·ot·ries.

1. stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own.

Therefore, by definition, you are being a bigot. This is a fact, and you can not argue or debate it. Facts are 100% correct, 100% of the time.

[–]postguy2 1 point2 points ago

Yes, it is bigotry. Do you not know what bigotry is? Let me drop some knowledge on you!

big·ot·ry [big-uh-tree] noun, plural big·ot·ries.

  1. stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own

So you would say that somebody who is staunchly against communism, or racism, is a bigot, since they do not tolerate racists or communist philosophy?

[–]Rawtashk -1 points0 points ago

If communism or racism is a "creed, belief, or opinion", then yes. However, there is a difference between disagreeing with something and "stubborn and complete intolerance". I don't agree with you, but I'm perfectly happy to let you believe what you want to believe. You, on the other hand, are not, and are bigoted.

I'm sorry that you are so butthurt :-/

[–]postguy2 1 point2 points ago

If communism or racism is a "creed, belief, or opinion", then yes

They are. So by your logic, both being racist and being against racists are both bigotry. So, the word "bigotry" is meaningless, so you calling somebody a "bigot" is just pointless.

there is a difference between disagreeing with something and "stubborn and complete intolerance".

I'm stubbornly against racists. If that makes me a bigot, then fine.

I'm perfectly happy to let you believe what you want to believe.

I want to believe things that are true. Why don't you?

I'm sorry that you are so butthurt :-/

You're the one coming into this subreddit just to call us circlejerkers, because you want us to stop hurting your feelings. We won't. Your beliefs are aboslutely asinine and if you weren't raised into them you'd realize how absurd they are.

[–]Rawtashk -1 points0 points ago

I find it somewhat amusing that you pretend to know what my beliefs are. And, as far as bigotry goes.....by your example the word bigot shouldn't even exist, right? Seems pretty good circular logic to me....

Also, I'm not the only one calling this subreddit a giant circle jerk. It's a well known fact that it is.

[–]Hooin_Kyoma -2 points-1 points ago

They must.

[–]jabedude 0 points1 point ago

Fundies just love to block out Logic and Reason!so-brave

[–]Quoonit 0 points1 point ago

Probably shouldn't have a made up statistic. What is the methodology used to determine 90%?

[–]guardgirlx3 -3 points-2 points ago

Even the most fundie-fundies follow most of what's considered "known science." Evolution is not 90% of known science, and I don't think anyone's trying to argue cell theory, gravity, or food webs.

[–]reply_w_moviequote 0 points1 point ago

Wow . . circlejerk in the highest order

[–]iworkwithgraphene 1 point2 points ago

Blocks out science... using science!

[–]Taodeist -1 points0 points ago

So it doesn't block out the ecological energy pyramid?

[–]ImBuzzed 0 points1 point ago

hey that's what I use but for opposite reasons

[–]inked-up 0 points1 point ago

I dream of a world where religion and science can live in perfect harmony

[–]JonWood007 -2 points-1 points ago

Sad thing is it relies on the science of vision and hearing to work.

[–]ILikeChaos 0 points1 point ago

Wow you guys are idiots

[–]uvelify -2 points-1 points ago

Blocks out science with science.

[–]Spongetoe -1 points0 points ago

Does it come in children's sizes? That's what I really need it for.

[–]barntobebad -3 points-2 points ago

Nice work, I can feel the hate. I can't believe spiteful garbage like this gets on the reddit front page (or was it page 2?) for people who aren't logged in. I was on a laptop I'm fixing, so I wasn't logged in, and bam there's good old r/atheism looking as disgusting and hateful as always. On the other hand two co-workers have created reddit accounts solely to unsubscribe from this hate-fest, so maybe it's a stealth marketing strategy by reddit...

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