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The guy who was supposed to be my roommate switched dorms to be closer to a church. I feel like this guy. (legacy-cdn.smosh.com)

submitted ago by dja0794

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[–]lefayad1991 46 points47 points ago

You know, I had 3 fairly religious roommates this past year whilst I personally am the president of the Atheist/Agnostic group on my campus. I must say they were above and beyond the best roommates I ever had. They were courteous, not very boisterous, they did their share of keeping the apartment clean, didn't smoke inside, fantastic. I understand this post is a joke, but when Christians see these kind of posts they may think we dislike Christians because of their faith when in reality we don't. We think their beliefs are silly, but we can still like them as people.

[–]uncletravellingmatt 8 points9 points ago

I had an orthodox Jewish roommate for two years when I was an undergraduate. No problems. I sometimes turned things on for him on Saturdays.

[–]804R 1 point2 points ago

I sometimes turned things on for him on Saturdays.

Erm... I'm not too accustomed with Jewish traditions/English idioms, explain, please?

[–]uncletravellingmatt 8 points9 points ago

You can't "do work" on the Sabbath (Saturday), and for some reason instead of defining what's work vs. what's recreation based on the purpose of the activity, it's by the kind of action itself, and one thing that's considered work is "making fire" and someone decided that turning on or using anything with electricity was considered work. That means that even listening to music or pressing a button to call an elevator or answering a phone is considered "work" you can't do when it's supposed to be your day of rest. Of course, if a non-Jew happens to turn on a CD player, you can still listen to it and enjoy it, you just can't press the button yourself. They have special inventions to work-around this, such as "Sabbath Elevators" that stop on every floor so you don't need to press a button.

Ironically, the prohibition to do "work" on the Sabbath often meant he had nothing to do but read his assigned reading, while everyone else would be listening to music, watching TV, using computers, etc. on their free time, so really he was the only one working. But I guess that's how God wanted it.

[–]Zexks 2 points3 points ago

They take "keep the sabbath day holy" and "on the seventh day god rested" to the extreme. They even make special elevators for them to use.

[–]804R 1 point2 points ago

So they can use stuff as long as they don't turn it on? The fuck?

[–]Flustered_Fox 1 point2 points ago

Not all things? I'm not sure. I had a Jewish friend who told me that they left the lights on all night Friday because they couldn't flip the switch on the sabbath.

[–]dlq84 1 point2 points ago

Makes perfect sense.

[–]804R 1 point2 points ago

The same way all relations make sense, I've noticed.

[–]Cynass 2 points3 points ago

"The fuck" is that they cannot "create a fire", therefore some conservative believe they can't use electricity. But even though they can't turn on/off a tv, they still can watch it.

[–]murthis 5 points6 points ago

Thank you lefayad. I'm Christian and my roommate was an atheist. We lived together for five years, hung out everyday, occasionally discussed our differing views. It was awesome.

Simply judging a person based on their religion is as close minded as a Christian telling a non religious person they're going to Hell.

[–]letstakecontrol 1 point2 points ago

Yes, but are you a christian that would choose where to live based on the proximity of church? Who would, but someone very dedicated to that, so in this case the OP is really just grouping christians that are that dedicated ( <--- i use this word to be polite) together. I hope.

[–]murthis 0 points1 point ago

Is it any different then finding a job that you like and moving to be really close to it? Solely for the reason that it's close. I picked the apartment I'm at mainly because it's close to work and there's a Taco Bell nearby.

[–]letstakecontrol 0 points1 point ago

only slightly, taco bell is a food vendor and you need food to live and I assume that you like it lot( I would rather go to church than eat Taco Bell, grade D meat but edible[really what it says on there meat]) , you have to work to pay the bills, and being close to work has its own fringe benefits. So, only slightly, but that slightly is enough that I would rather not have him for a roommate. You seem like a chill enough chrstian, would you move to be closer to a church?

[–]themcp 2 points3 points ago

I think there's a difference between not liking christian roommates, and not liking the sort of roommate who would change dorms to be closer to a church because they're sufficiently obsessed with religion that walking a bit further across campus to the church is going to make a significant difference in their life.

[–]TrueSol 1 point2 points ago

My sophomore roommate came from an evangelical family and was super religious. He's a great kid and is super nice, but definitely passively tried to force his opinions on others. It wasn't like he was trying to be rude, that's just the culture he came from. Anyway, we're both extremely intellectual and had some great "pillow talk" while living together about the bible, god, etc. I was finally able to convince him that he was really OK with gay marriage is you didn't call it "marriage" which I thought was a pretty solid victory.

Long story short he's now gay, lives happily with his boyfriend and his family is totally cool with it (after a brief inquisition on their part). Basically not all christians are bigots, and sometimes it's fun to live with someone from the opposite end of the spectrum as long as you define the relationship and friendship with mutual respect.

[–]xoBehTkcuF 0 points1 point ago

What does one do in an atheist club?

[–]lefayad1991 1 point2 points ago

we have discussions amongst each other on different topics. We also interact with other religious groups on campus and also make it known to atheists/agnostics at our VERY conservative university that they aren't alone.

[–]nemry07 0 points1 point ago

I went to high school with lefayad1991. I feel important personally knowing the person with the highest rated comment on a reddit post

[–]ginger14 0 points1 point ago

I know this dude. I'm the Vice President of our Atheist/Agnostic Student Group. His roommates might have been lovely (I also had a lovely Christian roommate last year and have her again next year), but he's a jerk to most Christians on campus.

[–]lefayad1991 0 points1 point ago

you're a ginger and are therefore lacking a soul and are a liar!

[–]ginger14 1 point2 points ago

I'm an honest ginger who thinks you shouldn't brag about your comment karma on facebook.

[–]TheDamphair -3 points-2 points ago

These are people who follow a 2000 year old book that says it's okay to murder anyone who doesn't agree with you. Why should I "like" them?

[–]arandompurpose 18 points19 points ago

Do you know how much that wakes you up in the morning? Coffee, energy drink, shower, has nothing on near death experiences.

[–]drewbellflower 13 points14 points ago

My roommate went to church every Sunday. We got along fine.

[–]dja0794[S] 15 points16 points ago

Oh I know, I'm sure we would have been fine. He seemed like a nice enough guy and we were both runners. I really wasn't worried about it as almost all of my friends right now are pretty religious having been in catholic schools my whole life. I just found the situation funny and felt that it would a appeal to r/atheism's sense of humor.

[–]drewbellflower 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I figured. Just thought I'd put in my two cents.

[–]questdragon47 4 points5 points ago

My roommate was pretty religious when we moved in. Church every sunday for a few hours, bible study on Monday, bible classes on Friday.

I kept showing her hilarious stuff in /r/atheism since we both chuckle at the same thing (I kept forgetting she was christian). Eventually she read the bible, realized it was bullshit, then realized how cultish her group was and got the fuck out of there.

[–]Oprah_Pwnfrey 9 points10 points ago

As Bishop Lancelot Andrewes once said, "The nearer the Church, the further from God.

[–]Irrelevant_bible_use 4 points5 points ago

Closer to Church is always the best. My fellow Christians always say John 3:16 is their favorite verse, I always reply with.

"And he said, “Thus saith the Lord: ‘Make this valley full of ditches.’" 2 Kings 3:16

Go with Christ bro.

[–]Neonite 2 points3 points ago

Ditches and holes.

[–]drindustry 11 points12 points ago

I think you may have been just a hair luckier then that guy.

[–]madhouseonmadison -1 points0 points ago

yea, mazel tov

[–]gocanux 0 points1 point ago

that guy is a lucky bastard

[–]comineeyeaha 2 points3 points ago

I really want to know why that guy didn't just take a couple steps back. I mean, he definitely saw the danger.

[–]girlsaregoodatmath 3 points4 points ago

Because your body automatically moves skeletal muscles before your brain can make a decision.

[–]Swampfoot 7 points8 points ago

Momentum. Takes more time to slow down, stop (and possibly slip & fall), turn round, accelerate in the other direction.

[–]comineeyeaha 1 point2 points ago

But if you look at the gif, he sees the terror before he's actually in front of the first car. I could understand if he was right in front of them, but it looks to me like he thought "I am NOT going to be late to work because of this guy's bull shit".

[–]dumnezero 1 point2 points ago

Pigeons do the same thing, which really annoys me when I'm on my bike... They see me and start to react, but instead of moving away, they just move faster on the path, almost running into my wheel.

[–]tommy755 3 points4 points ago

I'd think that the experience to live with someone of different beliefs would be inviting. Spending a year with someone exactly like you would get real boring real fast.

[–]Jilly33 1 point2 points ago

I laughed out loud when I saw this combined with your comment. Good post.

[–]Ryo95 1 point2 points ago

This is hypnotizing.

[–]GridLocks 0 points1 point ago

Y U NO JUMP?

[–]telaranrhiod 0 points1 point ago

I feel like just because that guy ran out of the shot doesn't mean he got out of the way of the bus...

[–]CharlesDingus 1 point2 points ago

I lived on a floor with a bunch of guys who all knew each other from church and they were extremely friendly and fun to hang out with. Sometimes they'd ask me "what do you believe in" and I'd say "nothing, really" and they'd say "cool." They did all sorts of community shit and seemed very genuine about their faith.

[–]Onanymous 0 points1 point ago

3 of my closest friends in uni were Orthodox Christians. They had icons, these little pocket books with prayers and all that jazz. We had foam-at-mouth arguments about the faith, but loved each other to bits. One became a monk, two upgraded to atheist, I call it a win.

[–]techno-toast 0 points1 point ago

"la la la la la......oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck FUUUCK!!"

[–]ToxicInsanity4 0 points1 point ago

That guy was clicking left stick so hard.

[–]BigFishMcNish 0 points1 point ago

Keanu Reeves was probably driving.

[–]SoulSilver 0 points1 point ago

Lucky and very awesome?

[–]Roadronner 0 points1 point ago

nice

[–]Lyndbergh -1 points0 points ago

Congrats bro. That could have been a disaster.

[–]cagg333 0 points1 point ago

Yes, because everyone who wants to go to church are people you don't want to associate with.

[–]Lemmiwinks0141 2 points3 points ago

Oh you didn't know that atheists and religious folk are completely incompatible? Especially at a college level when folks are at their most open minded and willing to make friends.

[–]cagg333 0 points1 point ago

No, I didn't, considering I'm Catholic, a close friend of mine is an atheist, and another is a jew. We get along swimmingly, even if religion comes up. We don't act like four year olds.

[–]Kamigami 15 points16 points ago

You sound surprised.

If someone is willing to go through all the trouble to switch dorms just for that, then yes, I wouldn't want to associate with them.

Going to church is okay, but when it sounds like you would f*ck the church if it had a vagina, then we've got a problem.

[–]cagg333 0 points1 point ago

Imagine this. X is OPs dorm. Y is dorm OP's almost-roommate moved to. Z is the church.

X.......................Y...Z.

Now, odds are Op's almost roommate would like to go to church every sunday, if not other days for functions. Imagine each period is 50 feet or so. Now, it's not going to be sunny every sunday. Imagine it's snowing. Imagine it's raining. How far would you like to walk?

[–]Kamigami 0 points1 point ago

What I've been trying to say is that X and Y will always be closer to each other than Y and Z or X and Z, because the church might not be a part of the school, whereas the dorms are, so they will always try to keep the students close together to protect them. Even if it's a private, religious college, the dorms will be closer to each other than some religious building.

So most likely, it would visually look like this:

X.Y...............................................................................................................Z

The extra distance from Y to X doesn't make much of a difference when trying to get to Z.

[–]Oldchap226 -1 points0 points ago

So by your logic...

Being at a more convenient living space to go to something they like to do = fuck the church if it had a vagina?

[–]Kamigami 0 points1 point ago

Not much logic there (churches will NEVER grow vaginas); merely an opinion. It really depends on what this "something they like to do" is. If someone switches to a more convenient living space because they....for example...want to be closer to the person that they want to stalk, then yes, it's creepy and I wouldn't want to associate with them. There are plenty of things that I would like to be closer to, but I still wouldn't switch dorms just for that. I would have to really, REALLY love doing this "something" in order for me to go through a lot of effort to be closer to it.

Really, REALLY loving church is kinda creepy. Many people go to church because it's a tradition or a routine that they're used to. Many people like it; others find it boring but still go. But switching dorms (which is something that takes a while and requires paperwork) just to be a couple of feet closer to church is weird. And really, REALLY loving church is also pretty weird to many atheists, especially to the ones that are not just indifferent to religion but actively oppose it.

I honestly don't find this "logic" very confusing.

[–]Oldchap226 0 points1 point ago

Switching dorms is not a be a big deal.

want to be closer to the person that they want to stalk, then yes, it's creepy and I wouldn't want to associate with them

The only creepy part here is the stalking, not the switching dorms. If you replace stalk with... perhaps, being closer to their family, it does not sound creepy at all.

[–]eikons 0 points1 point ago

Really, REALLY loving church is kinda creepy.

What makes you think this guy loves church so much? If I'm in a chess club and I have a choice of living 3 miles or 0.5 miles from it, I'd choose the one that's .5 miles from it. Why? Because I'm lazy and don't feel like traveling 3 miles every time I go to the damn place.

How much paperwork are we talking about anyways? Sounds like something that is a slight bother for one afternoon, which is compensated for a bunch of afternoon's worth of traveling time.

[–]Kamigami 1 point2 points ago

Most dorms are grouped closely together. If they're really that big and span 2.5 miles, as you say (which I doubt) then I'm pretty sure there would be churches on both sides to cater to all interested students if it was on such a big campus. Also, there are buses available for students wanting to get from one side to the other.

Why? Because I'm lazy and don't feel like traveling 3 miles every time I go to the damn place.

Pretty sure Jesus traveled more than that on foot.

It requires a lot of paperwork. You are paying for your stay. You are going to live there for 8 months. It's almost as tedious as leasing an apartment. You have to transport your personal belongings and you have to decide which meal plan to get and which cafeteria is closer. You might go looking for a job. Many of these things you have to have planned ahead before you confirm that you will be staying at the dorm that you chose. Many times you don't get a choice, so the paperwork comes after the dorm selection. Switching dorms requires you to do most of these things again. Some rooms are bigger and more expensive, some are smaller. If there is a price change, that alone requires paperwork and credit cards and checks and shit.

My point is, dorms are almost always grouped closely together to keep students safe, so it really won't make much difference where you live. However, switching rooms ends up requiring more effort than walking a couple of extra feet.

[–]Oldchap226 0 points1 point ago

because all universities are built the same... right?

inconvenience for him for one afternoon could save him a ton of time in the future.

[–]fegd 0 points1 point ago

Someone who goes as far as changing dorms to be near a church? Hell to the no.

[–]HebrewHammerTN -2 points-1 points ago

Seriously!?!? 5 hours?!?!

Obligatory

[–]dja0794[S] 3 points4 points ago

what do you mean?

[–]ZephyrWestWind 0 points1 point ago

5 hour video of that maybe?

[–]donandino -2 points-1 points ago

This gif has always looked fake to me. At the end when the bus passes by him he moves kind of weird like it was photoshopped.

[–]lgarza12 -1 points0 points ago

I see it too.. If this was real he would have been hit. He just slides away when the bus was supposed to turn him into a waffle

[–]Purgatory_Dog -2 points-1 points ago

not all religious people are bad, fyi

[–]funkydo -2 points-1 points ago

Martin Luther King Jr. was a Christian.

[–]thenorthwinddothblow 2 points3 points ago

... and?

[–]HydrogenxPi -3 points-2 points ago

You can't actually tell if he makes it or not

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