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top 200 commentsshow all 227

[–]LastRedCoat 690 points691 points ago

Ah you think reposts are your ally? You merely adopted the reposts. I was born in them, molded by them. I didn't see the OC until I was already a man, by then they were nothing to me.

[–]xrawfish 158 points159 points ago

The reposts betray you. They belong to me.

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 115 points116 points ago

I'm reading this all in his voice, and it is wonderful. I wanna see the movie again.

[–]UK_Reddit_User 89 points90 points ago

I'm not good at accents, even my inner monologue can't pull off a convincing Bane :(

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 61 points62 points ago

Being drunk helps.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 54 points55 points ago

Everything.

[–]ChemicalShenanigans 39 points40 points ago

Except driving.

[–]littlelimesauce 29 points30 points ago

Especially driving.

[–]goose90proof 40 points41 points ago

Particularly crashing.

[–]attentionwhore01 11 points12 points ago

No, drinking definitely helps in that regard.

[–]hihohannah 10 points11 points ago

Upvotes for all

[–]BuckeyeBentley 18 points19 points ago

Say "my cocaine" and you'll say "Michael Caine" like he would.

Tangentially related to Batman

[–]EmperorDPants 41 points42 points ago

You mean Sean Connery talking into a Vacuum hose

[–]Whyareyoufollowingme 19 points20 points ago

That was my first impression as well. Wasn't expecting the accent at all.

[–]freakball 4 points5 points ago

Get out of my head

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 0 points1 point ago

Woah, cannot unhear.

[–]ephellCL 2 points3 points ago

I heard your comment in his voice.

Now I'm hearing everything in his voice.

[–]ty23c 1 point2 points ago

i try so hard to mimic him, but I just dont got the voice :(

[–]WGMindless 1 point2 points ago

I know, right. His voice is so unique I can't even picture it in my head.

I mean, the Joker is pretty damn hard to do in real life, but at least you can imagine his voice easily in your head. Bane's voice is just too badass for even that.

[–]BravoJohnnyBravo 4 points5 points ago

Just don't hurt the damn kitty!

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 8 points9 points ago

MOTHAFUCKA I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE SAYING THIS!

I guess it's my own fault for choosing the name I did.

[–]MtHammer 4 points5 points ago

Okay, okay! We'll stop pointing out the name. Just stay nice and calm. There's no need do anything rash...

[–]BravoJohnnyBravo 1 point2 points ago

hehe time to follow you and post time and time again

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 1 point2 points ago

I expected this response. Don't worry, though - You'll be lost among the others. I get that comment multiple times a day.

[–]BravoJohnnyBravo 1 point2 points ago

Well fuck me and being predictable. I am a repost :( let me guess someone else has said that too

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 2 points3 points ago

Don't worry man. Reddit is one big repost.

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 1 point2 points ago

Speaking of reposts, I wanna see you comb your hair really fast.

[–]BravoJohnnyBravo 1 point2 points ago

only if you do the monkey with me

[–]HeyCarpy 0 points1 point ago

I've been thinking of that fight scene in the sewer for days.

[–]asleeplessmalice 21 points22 points ago

Calm down, user. Now is not the time for originality. That comes later.

[–]ColumnMissing 2 points3 points ago

I loved that line.

[–]asleeplessmalice 5 points6 points ago

It was one of my favorites as well. That, the speech about light/darkness, and "Do you feel...in charge?"

[–]Megawatts19 2 points3 points ago

"I payed you a small fortune."

"And this gives you power over me?"

[–]blasto_pete 83 points84 points ago

So much perfect.

[–]NarcissisticHedonism 15 points16 points ago

Looks like Snoo Snoo controls all. Seriously though, that was spot on.

Edit:spelling Edit2: Spoilers below, the whole movie summed up in 2 sentences

[–]listentohim 0 points1 point ago

See, this is why I didn't look at the comments on anything TDKR related until today. Just saw the movie yesterday.

Yeah, sure was tough to avoid spoilers on here!

[–]NarcissisticHedonism 0 points1 point ago

Movie was something else wasn't it? I'm going to go watch it again next week.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

Bane didn't know that Batman didn't know that Bane wasn't the child.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]tq92 2 points3 points ago

Yeah I had to read that four times and I still got lost

[–]mr_e_hunter 0 points1 point ago

I read that in Bane's voice

[–]alcakd 2 points3 points ago

You did, did you? And what? This gives you upvotes over me?

[–]mr_e_hunter 0 points1 point ago

Do you feel.... the upvotes?

[–]zackychimchim 12 points13 points ago

I like to think that bane did grow up in prison and that's why he took it upon himself to protect another child raised in prison. He just wasn't the child that escaped from prison by climbing out

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Brilliant, this brings back the badassness he lost in that plot twist; also, that could be why he was able to take the entire prison when Talia escaped, a (longer than Talia's) life in the pit made him though as bricks.

I mean they broke his face but... he still took the entire prison

[–]johnlocke90 0 points1 point ago

Yes

[–]Then_Reality_Bites 6 points7 points ago

Age has robbed you of your karma! Victory has defeated you!

[–]DelphicLike 18 points19 points ago

I didn't see the light until I had to go to work, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ChemicalShenanigans 3 points4 points ago

Talos damn your reverse psychology.

[–]Tezerel -1 points0 points ago

bro if you want negative karma, post batman spoilers

[–]MetallicDragon 0 points1 point ago

You're gonna have to try harder than that.

[–]Stankykey 180 points181 points ago

What a lovely lovely meme.

[–]Mickster1267 101 points102 points ago

<blows up stadium>

[–]ANBU_Spectre 33 points34 points ago

Blows up /r/funny

FTFY

[–]Souperlizard 6 points7 points ago

We can only hope.

[–]Mystery_Hours 5 points6 points ago

C'MON MAN, we were winning!

[–]Bullshit_quotes 0 points1 point ago

"Pittsburg Sucks" -Leonardo DaVinci (he was a bengals fan)

[–]SuperMaxPower 2 points3 points ago

(no plot spoilers) I love how the player keeps running while everything explodes and scores a touchdown. He turns around and is like: "wat."

[–]kokoka 17 points18 points ago

That's a lovely, lovely meme.

FTFY

[–]lesser_panjandrum 59 points60 points ago

No one cared who I was until I hosted on imgur.

[–]Knoxie_89 7 points8 points ago

I can't say imgur in my head or out loud. How am I supposed to hear it in his voice?

[–]indefort 2 points3 points ago

Imager. One who makes images.

[–]Downvoted_Defender 9 points10 points ago

You mean 'IM grrrr.

[–]Downvoted_Defender 0 points1 point ago

IMG does not sound phonetically the same as IMAG.

The 'A' sound is very distinct.

[–]rattlemebones 57 points58 points ago

Ahhh! I was wondering what would break first... your will... or your F5 key!

[–]WastetimeViaReddit 96 points97 points ago

What are you? Reddit: I'm your work productivity's reckoning.

[–]Stanley0724 17 points18 points ago

Your name is so relevant to your comment!

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 12 points13 points ago

Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time!

[–]AshesEleven 8 points9 points ago

Spoken like a true time-waster!

[–]MollFlanders 55 points56 points ago

"No! They'll expect one of us in the wreckage, brother!"

"Have the upvotes started?"

"Yes... the post rises!"

[–]pheonixrelife 4 points5 points ago

Awesome.....

[–]NotaMethAddict 55 points56 points ago

But, but, neverending Reddit on RES!

[–]lesser_panjandrum 53 points54 points ago

Calm down NotaMethAddict, now's not the time to fear. That comes later, when you start clicking the random subreddit button.

[–]drunkdoc 22 points23 points ago

...there's a random subreddit button?

EDIT: Found it, first subreddit it took me to was /r/katyperry ...that button is okey dokey

[–]Steve_the_Scout 10 points11 points ago

It once took me to SpaceDicks...

I still love that button for boredom. I'll let that one time go.

[–]UK_Reddit_User 5 points6 points ago

Spacedicks? There are worse pits that button could have cast you into. picsofdeadkids springs to mind

[–]MPC45000 2 points3 points ago

Random wont bring you to NSFW subs. Grab your pitchforks, we have a big fat phony in aisle 3.

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 2 points3 points ago

Damn man, your account is less than 2 months old and you have over 150,000 karma. Plus, my RES says I have you at [+21].

How do you do it??

[–]grim_city 0 points1 point ago

Because people upvote him just because.

[–]xXNickelbackRulezXx 0 points1 point ago

It's a blessing and a curse.

[–]Megasean99 55 points56 points ago

If by sleep, you mean repeatedly click refresh, then okay.

[–]thelegalalien 13 points14 points ago

this is what is currently happening

[–]JUSTCALLmeY 115 points116 points ago

[–]feureau 10 points11 points ago

I've been looking for a good reproduction of that mask. So far I've only found cheap shit on ebay and some dude who charges $300 for something that looks like my Aunt build.

[–]vijrox 13 points14 points ago

When you get one, don't wear it around. People will think you're gonna shoot up a theater.

[–]feureau 9 points10 points ago

What?

I was talking about a cat-bane mask.

[–]captainondeck 5 points6 points ago

Cat and TDKR a valuable karma combination.

[–]hansip 0 points1 point ago

This meme is going places.

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points ago

Death or exile?

[–]k-volare 90 points91 points ago

ImHereForTheCookies, if you think we're going out into /r/spacedicks willingly, you have another thing coming.

[–]barnosaur 83 points84 points ago

So you choose death... by r/spacedicks

[–]The_Renegabe 36 points37 points ago

rebel cheer

[–]AbasementPark 16 points17 points ago

Bring in the dancin' mercenaries!!!

[–]DarkDefiance 10 points11 points ago

If you think we'll willingly walk the ice of 9gag, you've got another thing coming. Death.

[–]hansip 5 points6 points ago

Death ? Death by reposts it is !

[–]iGodzilla_x -1 points0 points ago

"if you think we're going out onto that frozen lake willingly, you have another thing coming."

"Ok... so DEATH.. BY EXILE!"

EDIT: Why are people thinking it goes, "you have another think coming."? That doesn't make sense.

[–]theoriginalbrick 1 point2 points ago

"If you think we'll walk on that ice willingly, you've got another thing coming."

"Death, then... By exile!"

[–]BrodyApproves 0 points1 point ago

Dr. Crane says that, not Bane...

[–]GFandango 0 points1 point ago

Death by exile to /r/spacedicks

[–]Mickster1267 15 points16 points ago

"But I paid you to stay off reddit! And you think that gives you power over me?"

[–]Inamanlyfashion 10 points11 points ago

Shit. I use hoverzoom.

[–]radicalporotta 14 points15 points ago

And this gives you power over me?

[–]meatwad75892 16 points17 points ago

I for one wouldn't mind if putting a Bane mask on everything was the next Reddit "thing".

[–]CrackInTheSky 4 points5 points ago

Until Reddit runs it into the ground.

[–]Megawatts19 0 points1 point ago

Yeah I could see this blowing up into the next "arrow to the knee" fad. Sadly, if it reaches that status, it will make me hate that mask.

[–]Bencool 10 points11 points ago

Find me the source and then I will downvote YOU.

[–]Archers_bane 11 points12 points ago

After recently getting Reddit Enhancement Suite, I don't think I have slept the past 2 weeks. I think I am actually dead right now.

[–]OMGitsJohnny 18 points19 points ago

Dibs on your organs.

[–]bultonic 5 points6 points ago

I want his heart at least, so I can gain his strength.

[–]HeyCarpy 4 points5 points ago

I call the liver.

Mmmmm, liver.

[–]Shardwing -1 points0 points ago

Did someone say Reddit Enhancement Suite?

[–]MiketGuy 4 points5 points ago

No.

[–]Rosy895 1 point2 points ago

That's what I promise myself... But then I just lay awake thinking about the funny posts I saw...

[–]BoonTobias 0 points1 point ago

Then later i see posts in my fucking dream, i actually had arguments with people on posts that don't exist

[–]angelfoof 3 points4 points ago

Then in that dream I go to sleep, proud after my argument, and have another dream within that dream. Then I realise I'm in the wrong movie.

[–]SgtFailure 4 points5 points ago

No one cared who I was, until I got an amazing username.

[–]CoyoteStark 1 point2 points ago

Did anyone else read this as ggrgrgr grgrg purple gfrrgrgrgr?

[–]WastetimeViaReddit 4 points5 points ago

Alfred: I never wanted you to come back to Reddit. I always knew that there was nothing for you here except pictures of cats and reposts.

[–]ANBU_Spectre 3 points4 points ago

" I gave you so much comment karma!"

"And this gives you power over me?"

[–]radicalporotta 5 points6 points ago

Do you feel worthy of an upvote?

[–]menwithrobots 1 point2 points ago

I can sleep any time I want to, but if I miss too much reddit I'll be out of the loop. My dreams will never obssess over somethong that happened in Dreamland while I was awake

[–]Pdotdot 2 points3 points ago

No one cared who I was, until i made the meme.

[–]magnumPI611 2 points3 points ago

Do you think your karma gives you power?

[–]photolove8 4 points5 points ago

But then there's r/new... oh god, it's infinite O__O

[–]wo0dstock 3 points4 points ago

[–]Trehnt 1 point2 points ago

He reminded me of sean connery when I heard him in dark knight rises.

[–]pajac -1 points0 points ago

Thanks!

[–]15r3Drzud123 1 point2 points ago

Mathematically, could someone tell me how long it would take to actually purple every single link on Reddit, with no exceptions?

[–]lesser_panjandrum 2 points3 points ago

I'm pretty sure that new (or "new," at any rate) posts are made at a higher rate than anyone could read, never mind getting stuck into the backlog of older posts.

[–]hansmartin1 0 points1 point ago

point taken, on my way to bed now!

[–]Blargame 0 points1 point ago

Ironic as this is the only link that wasnt purple...

[–]TangoOscarDD 0 points1 point ago

Unless browsing r/nosleep

[–]k4loyan 0 points1 point ago

Does that ever happen?

[–]ChayDaKidd 0 points1 point ago

"Also...peace out!"

[–]Kietus 0 points1 point ago

I very much approve you Bane Reddit

[–]Kattzalos 1 point2 points ago

Goatse

I'm sorry

[–]baby_lamont 1 point2 points ago

This is the first time I actually laughed out loud from an "advise animal" in a long time.

[–]Anchupom 0 points1 point ago

Considering my current sleep pattern is nigh-nocturnal due to the amount of time I spend on here (living in britain doesn't help, reddit's traffic increases when I start to feel sleepy), this image is very much representative of my relationship with reddit.

It's somewhere between a love/hate relationship and an abusive one.

[–]ShivaBowlShuffle 0 points1 point ago

Well, that picture certainly won't help my sleep problem.

[–]Oneskyonedestiny 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who clicks purple links?

[–]matsyes 0 points1 point ago

I have RES, I shall never sleep!

[–]RedditUser88 0 points1 point ago

[–]Screaming_Monkey 0 points1 point ago

But I use Hoverzoom. I guess I'll be up for a while.

[–]Shadrahk 0 points1 point ago

-goes to 'new' section- FFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

[–]GottaBeABoss 0 points1 point ago

The reposter should wear the mask and let him suffocate. LOL

[–]Gawdlike 0 points1 point ago

Damn it auto delete history

[–]noodlesfordaddy 0 points1 point ago

Original source?

[–]motorstorm 0 points1 point ago

hahaha. I love this. also, facehugger. cannot unsee

[–]prosty 1 point2 points ago

The Reddit alien used here was originally done by artist Mike Mitchell. Be sure to check him out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

How I feel since starting nofap: http://qkme.me/3qb0vh

[–]kasirabbas 0 points1 point ago

I wounder what Bane sounds like when he burps?

[–]imafugginunicorn -1 points0 points ago

BANE'S MOUTH IS GOATSE(NEVER TO BE UNSEEN)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

If this is original content, I'm extremely impressed.

[–]Mesilversurfsta -1 points0 points ago

I will make all the links purple

[–]Dolanduckaroo 0 points1 point ago

Unless they are youtube links.

[–]mrob2738 0 points1 point ago

You adopted r/spacedicks, I was born there

[–]Remedan 0 points1 point ago

But then there is /new!

[–]ImAzura 0 points1 point ago

When you look like that and sound like Sean Connery, it's hard to take you seriously.

[–]zyzzogeton 0 points1 point ago

javascript:(function f(){var u=$(".up");if(u.length-1){setTimeout(f,1000);u[1].onclick()} })()

Done MOTHERFUCKER.

[–]Battlesmit 0 points1 point ago

Im interested. Will this actually work? if so, please explain (If you have time or patience) this line.

[–]zyzzogeton 0 points1 point ago

Yep, paste it in chrome, make sure you have "hide if upvoted or downvoted" on in your options, go through and downvote the losers, then hit refresh. Lather rinse repeat.

You are a power Knight of New now

[–]AcesCharles2 1 point2 points ago

You do not fear downvotes. You welcome it. Your punishment must be more severe.

[–]DrOne5hotk111 1 point2 points ago

XD

[–]BoldAsLove1 1 point2 points ago

This picture is a little too close to the truth.

[–]dreezyforsheezy 0 points1 point ago

Why don't you just edit your settings to not show up or down voted links? Problem solved. Sleep ensues.

[–]bluedevil355 -1 points0 points ago

I DONT HAVE ENOUGH UPVOTES TO GIVE

[–]NICKFUCKFACE 0 points1 point ago

Calm down, Reddit. Now is not the time to downvote. That comes later.

[–]HumanVelocipede 0 points1 point ago

Not even. Links on reddit usually always send me on some adventure through the interwebs. Stuck for hours more on some other site. It's worth it, though. Thank you, reddit.

[–]ggoodie12 0 points1 point ago

I am your free-time's reckoning.

[–]whiterungaurd 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only person who would pay money to sound like bane? Just think he has a bad ass voice.

[–]h1079436 0 points1 point ago

[–]shankems2000 0 points1 point ago

Remember, you merely adopted Reddit, I was born in it!

[–]FudgeKickstands 0 points1 point ago

Your punishment must be more Sev-Ere!

[–]Humboldt79 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone have a link they could share that gives us more information on the technology behind Bane's mask?

[–]weyand1 0 points1 point ago

No! I'm in control here!

[–]SegamanXero 0 points1 point ago

But... But... But... Reddit is endless!?!?!

[–]SmartShark 0 points1 point ago

Wasn't it Batman who said the quote that this post is derived from? Somebody correct me if I'm wrong.

[–]Big_Vigilante 0 points1 point ago

You are wrong. Bane said it to Bruce in the prison cell.

[–]ryanskeff 0 points1 point ago

Let the games begin!

[–]MaggieBeccckss 0 points1 point ago

Nudist is just a lifestyle. I have been 24 years old, and I just find it is wonderful and I fall in love with a great man who is also a nudist via -- ~~【naturistpassion.℃om 】is a nice place for nudists and naturists, to interact with each other,love it,maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends..

[–]chrill 0 points1 point ago

"If I give you blue links, will you read all of them?"

"It would be very painful."

"You could skip the dull ones."

"For you."

[–]UBPancake 0 points1 point ago

This is when I thought to myself.... "Shit..."

[–]Battlesmit 0 points1 point ago

My links dont turn purple after i click them. So......i think im fucked.

[–]manuman109 0 points1 point ago

Somebody has the detonator! If you do not click all the links yourself without outside help, the bomb will go off and you will die.

[–]Mrmib 0 points1 point ago

"If I make a small typo, will you be able to read it?" "It will be extremely painful..." "You're a smart guy-" "...For you."

[–]acarlrpi12 0 points1 point ago

Well, darn it. Guess I'm not sleeping tonight. I neglected Reddit for a Digimon and LoL marathon.

[–]bowiz2 0 points1 point ago

No links go purple on the iPod app... Damn it I'll be up all night...

[–]Raymond890 0 points1 point ago

If I log off, will you die?

It will be very boring...

You're a fun website

...for you

[–]dirtbkb 0 points1 point ago

the links are never purple with hover zoom... ultimate torture... :(

[–]optipodelociraptor 0 points1 point ago

reddit.com/r/bane

[–]bonbonelan 0 points1 point ago

HAHAHAhahahhahahahahahahahhahahhahaa..... My eyes hurt so much.

[–]SuSp3cT333 0 points1 point ago

RES night mode.... I guess I'm stuck here forever..

[–]Buff_N_Sexy 0 points1 point ago

I use night mode. None of my links are purple

[–]jmatrix 0 points1 point ago

Single most truthful picture of reddit.