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all 93 comments

[–]ViniTheHat 212 points213 points ago

i believe in the actual book it's a cactus and not a dildactite.

[–]stabbingtonbear 115 points116 points ago

geez don't get butt hurt about it.

[–]ViniTheHat 64 points65 points ago

why do you have to be a pain in the ass?

[–]OfThriceAndTen 23 points24 points ago

anus

[–]Gooberpatrol66 15 points16 points ago

There sure is a lot of anus in your comment history.

[–]CryoGuy 5 points6 points ago

Haha he said anus.

[–]ZombieParadigm 0 points1 point ago

This book was so tight butthole when I was a kid.

[–]pandapoi 23 points24 points ago

Don't you mean dildagmite?

[–]ViniTheHat 5 points6 points ago

it is obviously a fallen dildactite. dont be silly.

[–]pandapoi 14 points15 points ago

FallenDildactite.

New username.

[–]packer790 10 points11 points ago

C'mon now, don't be a dick

[–]ViniTheHat 12 points13 points ago

Damn! What a penetrating remark!

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 298 points299 points ago

[–]Kiassen 105 points106 points ago

God damn, Pat is an idiot.

[–]Englishfucker 41 points42 points ago

And what's with him wearing gloves, but no underwear?

[–]qazz 8 points9 points ago

Dressed to kill or rape maybe both?

[–]Scunner132 1 point2 points ago

It pays to be prepared for whatever might happen.

[–]sndwsn 1 point2 points ago

Nay, maybe it's a full body suit with no gloves

[–]Scorcho25 0 points1 point ago

Furry!

[–]Gabe_b 18 points19 points ago

At least in the edited version he had a believable motivation

[–]Chill33 108 points109 points ago

Thank you! You just save me from a deep depression caused by the thought that Dr. Seuss would do something like that.

[–]lirpawork 39 points40 points ago

Thanks!

[–]topical_storm 5 points6 points ago

Thank you. I was really struggling to get hard from the material OP provided.

[–]JeParle_AMERICAN 1 point2 points ago

I was expecting that cactus to be much smaller and much more dildo shaped.

[–]jaysun92 29 points30 points ago

Looks kinda like The Bruiser from Bad Dragon.

[–]thefreq 15 points16 points ago

So you just know that off-hand, I guess?

[–]locobanya 9 points10 points ago

You didn't?

[–]thefreq 4 points5 points ago

Well, I'm not really an animal/whateverthefuck dildo expert.

[–]werdna314 3 points4 points ago

[–]Arxl 5 points6 points ago

A lot of us do~

[–]TerrorBite 3 points4 points ago

Goodness, I'd never imagine! :3

[–]Mysicthrowaway 1 point2 points ago

High-five(!)

[–]Pulse761 5 points6 points ago

I read that as The Bruiser from Dragonball Z. I was unprepared.

[–]TerrorBite 4 points5 points ago

My first response was "Hah, that looks like a Bad Dragon toy." Though I was't able to pick which one.

Came to the comments to see if anyone else mentioned it, was not disappointed.

[–]GizTehCookieFox 0 points1 point ago

i believe a few people are going to click the comments just to see if anyone else recognizes it :P

[–]GizTehCookieFox 1 point2 points ago

i believe a few people are going to click the comments just to see if anyone else recognizes it :P

[–]cofeef 7 points8 points ago

Im glad im not the only one that recognized it

[–]THRlLLHOUSE 2 points3 points ago

You shouldn't be.

[–]Mysicthrowaway 0 points1 point ago

hahahaha exactly my thought as soon as I saw it..

Well, maybe I didn't know the name of it...

[–]Patrico-8 13 points14 points ago

That's poorly photoshopped. The orginal photo is of a guy sitting on a cactus. Don't fuck with Dr. Seuss.

[–]tomtom105 3 points4 points ago

[–]Aulritta 1 point2 points ago

No, Pat, no!

Don't sit on that!

First, you must

Wet your twat!

[–]lawngnome1 7 points8 points ago

And in the ass.

[–]lirpawork 7 points8 points ago

This must be from the alternative book "Hop on Top"

[–]revengeofrosencrantz 2 points3 points ago

Because "Hop on Pop" wasn't disturbing enough already.

[–]lirpawork 0 points1 point ago

Haha. True

[–]9erflr 2 points3 points ago

nope, dr. seuss couldn't do that, he was a great man, GREAT

[–]tripleplayj 0 points1 point ago

I hope that's not in the actual book.

[–]Mozen 0 points1 point ago

It's a cactus that is taller than Pat in the actual book.

[–]CoyoteStark 1 point2 points ago

Ima call potatoshopped on that one.

[–]kitkat1026 0 points1 point ago

Me reading this: what?! Did Dr. Seuss really—wait, it was a cactus. Well Photoshopped though. *upvote*

[–]boiledham 1 point2 points ago

You're missing a brazzers logo

[–]kmotiv 1 point2 points ago

They are standing on a giant, hairy, bent over ass. You're welcome.

[–]Urbanenore 0 points1 point ago

reviewing a couple of doctor seuss books makes me realize how dirty the stories really were, but how rhyming, and clever "substitutions" make it a childs book

[–]makemeastar 0 points1 point ago

I think you mean right in the...oh, well. never mind

[–]mokkat 1 point2 points ago

aww yiss... motha, fuckin, dragon dildos!

[–]a1blank 0 points1 point ago

Allow me to point you here

[–]chickenmelon 1 point2 points ago

Politically correct version: It's ok Pat, you can sit on that and I won't judge you. You were just born that way, and that's ok.

[–]explorer-jo 0 points1 point ago

Ha, Dr Seuss, was a bit of a dirty man. My mom got a book of his paintings because I loved his books so much as a kid. Let's just say the guy loved painting boobs.

[–]packer790 0 points1 point ago

Who doesn't?

[–]TROLL_HUNTER69 0 points1 point ago

YES..... yes pat. please sit down. let me enjoy the sight of the look of surprise that will no doubt be clearly evident on your face. oh yes pat. we will do horrible things to you. hahahahahahahahaha

[–]JMP1147 0 points1 point ago

WAT THE FUK

[–]wellmade 0 points1 point ago

You didn't.

[–]innuendo819 0 points1 point ago

I was expecting that cactus to be much smaller and much more dildo shaped.

[–]OEFvet 0 points1 point ago

Do it slow... Do it slow.

[–]Mr_Fignutz 0 points1 point ago

God damn it snl. Just tell us if pat's male or female already!

[–]Pit9 0 points1 point ago

LOL, I read this to my son all the time. 6 pages in a row of Pat sitting on random stuff. My son yells no when we turn to the cactus page now :D

[–]SpiritToes 0 points1 point ago

I love how the guy that was down to have cyber sex with a stranger pretending to be pokemon characters is calling YOU weird. LOL! Ass.

[–]iPwnUHarder 0 points1 point ago

Anyone notice the pages also look like Mexican buttcheeks?

[–]FFSrandy 1 point2 points ago

Can we work something out where if a post is proven bullshit we can delete it?

[–]Lhabs 5 points6 points ago

You must be so much fun at parties

[–]FFSrandy 0 points1 point ago

I do call bullshit on people at parties...

[–]debeauds 1 point2 points ago

but if it is deleted than we can't have fun pointing out the multitude of fails op does

[–]misterswarvey -2 points-1 points ago

Pat! No, Pat!

Don't sit on that!

ftfy