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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]unclejimmy 205 points206 points ago

[–]largerpenis 25 points26 points ago

Yep: that's our new president right here.

[–]Ben_Jahmin 2 points3 points ago

Fabulous.

[–]No_Farting_Monster 262 points263 points ago

[–]lethal_weapon_five 52 points53 points ago

Canada shares your pain....

[–]now_in3D 31 points32 points ago

at least we got one though... even if it was in synchronized diving :/

[–]jeffp 82 points83 points ago

Kazakhstan has more medals than Canada...

[–]now_in3D 102 points103 points ago

[–]aznscourge 34 points35 points ago

North Korea is 4th for gold medals...they can't even feed their population

[–]kyoutenshi 24 points25 points ago

GREAT LEADER IS BEST OLYMPIAD!

[–]Siverix 5 points6 points ago

How much grain can you buy for four gold medals?

[–]Laughin_Grass 5 points6 points ago

What do you expect, North Korea is Best Korea!

[–]alexander_the_grate 7 points8 points ago

Also better potassium.

[–]teknoire7 8 points9 points ago

Number one exporter of potassium!

[–]72512 8 points9 points ago

Other countries have inferior potassium.

[–]Iniquity77 15 points16 points ago

HA! HAHAHAHA!

[–]Kman778 4 points5 points ago

yea but it is the summer Olympics, Canada only does well in the water sports. once rowing is up, it'll be raining gold up here!

[–]samcobra 135 points136 points ago

Don't worry man, you have Thorzain!!!

[–]DJ_Epilepsy 69 points70 points ago

And dreamhack!

[–]A_Rolling_Baneling 39 points40 points ago

And Naniwa and hot women and Ibrahimovic and all of /r/circlejerk!

[–]EmperorSofa 3 points4 points ago

Man I wish I could go to Dreamhack.

The other place I want to go to even more badly is burning man.

[–]boxcarcar 33 points34 points ago

The King in the North!

[–]beefwich 10 points11 points ago

KINGA DA NARRRRR!

[–]EffeCt701 12 points13 points ago

i love when /r/starcraft leaks

[–]Luthe 13 points14 points ago

As long as the Americans still have Naniwa and Stephano, we're golden.

[–]noawesomenameneeded 2 points3 points ago

Now I feel bad for Swedes

[–]Luclinn 11 points12 points ago

We are ranked 2 in total medals per million inhabitants but i guess it doesn't help that finland is ranked 1, those damn finns...

[–]allday0212 25 points26 points ago

But at the end of the day whoever has the most medals total is all anyone cares about.

[–]Grezzz 21 points22 points ago

Well no, generally countries are ranked on whoever has the most gold medals, not total medals.

[–]Beefmotron 4 points5 points ago

sweet faulty generalization.

[–]JustSayNoToGov 2 points3 points ago

But you have all of that wonderful snus. All we have is horrible fake shit and General.

[–]CoffeeTeaMe 3 points4 points ago

[–]touchy610 5 points6 points ago

Hajabazjhoomireluka.... ಠ‿ಠ I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

[–]ProJoh 8 points9 points ago

in the arms of an anggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllll

[–]IIdsandsII 25 points26 points ago

the stress was on arms not angel

[–]fandette88 140 points141 points ago

Im Chinese, born in England and citizen of Canada and legal resident of America. So many people I can root for...I dont know what to do.

[–]anusface 233 points234 points ago

Wait until the end. Side with the victor.

[–]TheBananaMonkey 39 points40 points ago

Or just stick with China. They look pretty much untouchable at this stage.

I guess that could change when track and field start though...

[–]anseyoh 159 points160 points ago

How many black people does China have?

WE GOT THIS.

[–]mechahendrix 46 points47 points ago

Racist but correct.

[–]Dazing 29 points30 points ago

Not racist, athletes from African descent do, in fact, have an advantage over other races when it comes to running.

Edit: Source Black people are basically faster because their center of gravity is higher than other races.

[–]kantorekB14 7 points8 points ago

Do you have evidence for this claim, a source perhaps?

[–]PartyBusGaming 4 points5 points ago

[–]kantorekB14 6 points7 points ago

I've edited my original comment, to make my meaning more clear.

[–]todenyyrgoal 6 points7 points ago

That is correct. People of African descent have more short twitch muscle fibers making them more effective at quickly producing more powerful bursts of energy.

[–]Zosoer 2 points3 points ago

People of African descent have more short twitch muscle fibers

Citation please?

[–]AATroop 4 points5 points ago

God bless black people.

[–]Sloppy_Twat 9 points10 points ago

China and America are tied with 17 metals. What is untouchable about that?

[–]hoboto 23 points24 points ago

GOLD medals.

[–]TheBananaMonkey 11 points12 points ago

I figure that counting by total medals alone is silly so I weighted the medals.

3 = Gold, 2 = Silver, 1 = Bronze.

China: 40

USA: 34

Japan: 17

Italy: 16

France: 14

I guess it's not normally counted like that because it's not really supposed to be about which nation wins. Even though everybody reads it that way. At any rate, if you decided to read it this way, if the US had two more golds then it would be fair enough to say that they're tied. As it is, China is pretty dominant.

[–]mahoganywolf 1 point2 points ago

If you call gold 3, silver 2 and bronze 1 (though that probably undervalues gold a little) then it's China 40, USA 34. Not a huge gap, but you can't deny that China are winning at this stage.

[–]nobodynose 1 point2 points ago

I wish they would do that instead.

It's kind of absurd for Japan with the 3rd highest amount of medals (and the only other one besides the US and China with double digit) be relegated to behind Kazakhstan because they only have 1 gold.

On the other hand, 3 golds is worth way more than 3 bronzes.

[–]TheBananaMonkey 7 points8 points ago

And what is the makeup of the medals?

China: 9 Gold USA: 5 Gold

That's a pretty big difference.

[–]todenyyrgoal 12 points13 points ago

Really can never escape the old 9 to 5 can we?

[–]Mican 4 points5 points ago

Gold is what matters. You must be new to the Olympics.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points ago

I find myself cheering for not China haha.

[–]Mamamilk 14 points15 points ago

Lol at your comment being downvoted. Is it now not ok to pull against the winner of the last olympics and current leader?

[–]ramm 35 points36 points ago

Probably the most American thing to do.

[–]Beaver_HatGuy 81 points82 points ago

Probably the most American French thing to do.

FTFY

[–]MrBaldwick 32 points33 points ago

Italians more like huehue

[–]paradoksikal 7 points8 points ago

More like the Late Walder Frey

[–]wheatfields 1 point2 points ago

Probably the SMARTEST thing to do. If my family kept with the same team that was winning at the time I would typing this from Norway, or if later in my family history if they had kept with the winners I would be typing this from England. But instead I am typing this from America. I can only hope that my great great grandchildren will be living in the next dominate power.

[–]ProfoundlyDeaf 2 points3 points ago

I wasn't aware that France had a reputation for turning up at the latest possible moment and claiming victory.

[–]Megabert 29 points30 points ago

I wasn't aware that France had a reputation for claiming victory.

[–]ProxyKnoxy 3 points4 points ago

baguettes

[–]Diiiiirty 5 points6 points ago

I wasn't aware of France.

[–]DiegoXIV 3 points4 points ago

I wasn't aware that France could be in the same setance with victory.

[–]beeztrain 2 points3 points ago

cheer for Canada. it's much more fun when we win a summer olympic gold as they are so rare

[–]ProfoundlyDeaf 7 points8 points ago

Don't feel bad. A gold in the Winter Olympics is the equivilant at least a bronze in the the Real Olympics.

[–]payto360 0 points1 point ago

just do better than Italy did at picking sides.

[–]didshereallysaythat 19 points20 points ago

Independent Athletes.

I am actually waking up early on Thursday to watch the girl sail.

[–]FISH_MASTER 6 points7 points ago

Girl was smoking

[–]phoncible 6 points7 points ago

the had the best friggin' "intro" (not sure what to call it) during "Parade of nations". Shit was awesome

[–]monkeywithgunsz 6 points7 points ago

I felt weird , moved to US, is now watching US team only on the Olympic, 0 fuck given for my own country.. ಠ▃ಠ

[–]elfonzi 5 points6 points ago

Thats soccer, we care about it slightly less than beach volleyball.

[–]Tfish 0 points1 point ago

In the case we ever walk away without one I'll just start bragging about how we won the cold war.

[–]FranzKromer 97 points98 points ago

[–]slaminsammy 8 points9 points ago

Obama/Camacho '12!

[–]NotTheNews 86 points87 points ago

[–]white_eagle 16 points17 points ago

Team GB and Northern Ireland**

[–]stunts002 8 points9 points ago

I wouldn't say that around Belfast if I was you man...

[–]ProfoundlyDeaf 4 points5 points ago

Why not? That's what it's short for.

[–]BearBryant 7 points8 points ago

Does she ever smile? The entire opening ceremony, was fucking awesome and there was never a hint of any sort of amusement out of her.

[–]NotTheNews 0 points1 point ago

Decorum, dude.

[–]AccountMadeToUpvote 48 points49 points ago

I feel awesome, but ya know, when they said during the opening ceremony that, as I recall, 80 or so countries were participating that had never even won a medal, I was kinda like, ...that sucks for those guys. Wish I could throw a bronze or something their way.

[–]1wiseguy 24 points25 points ago

They will have a bronze the day they earn a bronze. It's a mean world.

[–]Parasitic_Lord 55 points56 points ago

HA! I love how unintentionally American this sounds...

[–]xoxoUT 4 points5 points ago

They are the 99%

[–]P_Cal 13 points14 points ago

Wow the soviets won a lot of medals, still in second despite not competing since 1988.

[–]Looks_Good_In_Hats 21 points22 points ago

This makes me kinda feel bad for Iceland. They've been competing in Olympic games for a very long time and only have 4 medals. None of them Gold. At least their women are beautiful.

[–]lunacraz 9 points10 points ago

At least their women are beautiful.

Is this true?

I have heard differing accounts. Especially since there are only like... 300k of them

[–]TheJucheisLoose 7 points8 points ago

Do you find Bjork attractive? 'nuff said.

[–]tryonce 26 points27 points ago

I never realized how good the US is at the Olympics. More than double to total number of gold medals and total number of medals combined than the next country.

[–]Loopbot75 33 points34 points ago

The next country is USSR. I don't think they're gonna catch us anytime soon...

[–]trunky 3 points4 points ago

Is having a variety of sports (track, basketball, soccer, etc.) associated with high school/colleges a common practice outside of America?

[–]EagleBurn 2 points3 points ago

This is what I've been thinking. It seems like (compared to other countries) the US has a larger melting pot of sports than I thought...

[–]dollarww25 1 point2 points ago

I didn't look at the next 2 countries, but big population means more athletes to choose from etc. Same reason as china

[–]TheJucheisLoose 15 points16 points ago

Nah. Otherwise India, Brazil, Indonesia and DR Congo would be dominant, as well. Population alone has little to do with success.

[–]Siverix 8 points9 points ago

Can't forget proper training facilities.

[–]pyroweasel 6 points7 points ago

There are a number of advantages equally significant involving the wealth of a nation, population is a huge factor, as is health/food availability. Not a big deal to most first world nations but it certainly a limiting factor in many African nations and other poorer countries.

[–]mainsworth 5 points6 points ago

That explains India's medal count.

China wins a lot because the government sponsors the shit out of athletes from beginning to end.

[–]tedler 5 points6 points ago

I never realized that Norway was so dominant in the winter games. I know they have fucktons of snow, but that's still pretty impressive.

[–]Samwiseganja-OG 2 points3 points ago

Right!?! They absolutely dominate everyone! First in all categories. Norwegians must be very proud.

[–]Cheat2Lose 131 points132 points ago

I believe this is the image you were looking for.

Edit: Wow you all really seem not sure who Terry Crews is.

[–]sea_otter 70 points71 points ago

Huh, I didn't realize Obama was that muscular.

[–]beeztrain 34 points35 points ago

no no... that's Will Smith

[–]jeffp 24 points25 points ago

Not Denzel?

[–]ryumast3r 14 points15 points ago

Could have sworn that was Morgan Freeman in his younger years.

[–]xTheEffectx 12 points13 points ago

He had younger years?

[–]SirCorgi 6 points7 points ago

I thought they all the same person.

[–]Cheat2Lose 17 points18 points ago

[–]Diiiiirty 6 points7 points ago

That's clearly Forrest Whitaker.

[–]jcmc2112 50 points51 points ago

That's not Obama. That's Joseph Kony.

[–]case9 4 points5 points ago

That's Samuel L Jackson

[–]Blackcat008 4 points5 points ago

That's Denzel washington

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

He recently had a makeover to appeal to the conservatives.

[–]YourMasturbatingHand 3 points4 points ago

Nah, that's Wayne Brady... oh wait that guy is black. Obama it is!

[–]lolicats 4 points5 points ago

i know idiocracy when i see it, and terry crews is the best part of that movie

[–]Hockeythree_0 29 points30 points ago

You're fuckin out!!

[–]IIdsandsII 6 points7 points ago

Lay off the juice, Canseco.

[–]Nateomc 18 points19 points ago

When he comes out to that slow start version of "Real American", I was in literal comedy awe. Love that show*.

EDIT: Show, not how.

[–]athinnes 4 points5 points ago

and how!

[–]DraugrMurderboss 1 point2 points ago

Man, if Mexico would just merge with the U.S., you could vicariously feel the gold medals.

[–]GenKan 18 points19 points ago

Yeah FUCK Norway!

[–]Iconicnorwegian 15 points16 points ago

HEY, Watch your mouth!

[–]GenKan 10 points11 points ago

Im from Sweden, I can say what I want about Norway and vice versa!

[–]ryumast3r 3 points4 points ago

Sweden eh? Well, when you try to walk across to Denmark I'll be sure to find someone to hit you with a stick. >_>

[–]GenKan 2 points3 points ago

I wouldnt ever travel past the south of Sweden, Denmark is untouchable to me. You will have to come here to kick my ass!

Edit: also I like Denmark!

[–]lenush 1 point2 points ago

Oh, then it's OK. Especially since I am feeling particularly good that we beat you just an hour ago in handball!

[–]Karl_Marx_ 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, FUCK North Korea!

FTFY

[–]Jakio 8 points9 points ago

You have been banned from /r/pyongyang

[–]emale27 15 points16 points ago

I'm not even American and I would love to see this happen at every medal ceremony

[–]Judg3Smails 3 points4 points ago

Kenny Fuckin' Powers!

[–]I_Key_Cars 8 points9 points ago

This is why we have nice things.

[–]Shitty_Waterbottle 9 points10 points ago

I'm a dual citizen of France and the U.S does this mean I get to combine the medals of France and the U.S to become numero uno ?

[–]anusface 30 points31 points ago

I'm sure that's what Chinese-Americans are doing.

"THIRTY TWO MEDALS COMBINED MUTHAFUCKA!!!" - Jackie Chan

[–]Citizen_Snip 3 points4 points ago

Pretty sure Jackie Chan is just a Chinese citizen. In fact, for the most part, pretty sure PRC doesn't allow dual citizenship. So you are either Chinese or American. Unless you are just referring to the link culturally/ethnically.

[–]LordMaestro 7 points8 points ago

Not forgetting its still the summer Olympics as a Canadian

[–]jack104 4 points5 points ago

"Kenny, where are you going?" "I'M GOING TO SHHBOOMS!!"

[–]MsDemonKitty 0 points1 point ago

USA! USA! USA!

[–]donthatemyface 9 points10 points ago

What is this from? I have to watch this.

[–]F_stop_cruz 24 points25 points ago

East Bound and Down. Specifically the clip is from season two.

[–]matt7259 17 points18 points ago

LA FLAMA BLANCA

[–]F_stop_cruz 16 points17 points ago

"How do you say the man in black?"
"Negro Hombre."
"Hey you said it. Not me."

[–]the_el 6 points7 points ago

Kenny Powders!

[–]wrongsideofthewire 4 points5 points ago

You'll probably like this too. Not from the show, East Bound and Down, but the same character.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/634f52e7d2/kenny-powers-the-k-swiss-mfceo-uncensored

[–]Novelt_Acct 6 points7 points ago

America is FUCKING IN and the other countries ARE FUCKING OUT!!!

[–]zeug666 14 points15 points ago

So you watched this 3 5 times?

UPDATE: 5 times - Team America has won 2 more since my initial posting.

[–]AdaAstra 6 points7 points ago

Oh yeah, well your mom is fat!!!

[–]elfonzi 1 point2 points ago

Wait for track my friend.

[–]pvtmichaeljcaboose 8 points9 points ago

I only know three letters, U, S, and A.

[–]KofOaks 2 points3 points ago

Well you DO have a very shitty education system after all...

[–]turtlemouse 6 points7 points ago

USA! USA! USA!

[–]Pistolsfiring09 2 points3 points ago

I get so excited and a little happy feeling inside when anything Kenny Powers related is on Reddit...

[–]bowei006 0 points1 point ago

Chinese here living in America... I'll side with the winner....hehehe. Currently going WOOO CHINA!....

[–]X-rays 2 points3 points ago

Every time Britain wins a gold medal...

Aww, fuck, we haven't won any.

[–]jasenlee 1 point2 points ago

Yeah... no one else ever does this. I think I could have filed all the nails on one hand while I waited for Sun Yang to stop flailing about and punching the water with a fuck you bitches look on his face after winning.

[–]abom420 0 points1 point ago

Canadians of this thread, fear not. It will be your time soon next winter olympics.

[–]penrose_exit 2 points3 points ago

I think La Flama Blanca sums it up quite well in Season 1:

"Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism."

[–]xteve 1 point2 points ago

As an American, I'm not even embarrassed anymore. I'm accustomed to being represented by assholes.

[–]andrewsmith1986 19 points20 points ago

The USA has all the medals and the Olympics games are the worlds chance to try to take them from us.

[–]PANDAemic 7 points8 points ago

China thanks you for your medal donation this year, among other contributions to its economy.

[–]AdaAstra 4 points5 points ago

Well...we ain't paying, so there.

[–]hero_this_city_needs 2 points3 points ago

When the Unites Kingdom wins a gold me...oh wait.

[–]stayunknown 3 points4 points ago

What the hell is OP doing? Compiling that animation from a JPEG? Motherfucker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. His face looks all computery and damn pixelated.

[–]Chunga_the_Great 2 points3 points ago

AMERICA FUCK YEAH

[–]KofOaks 2 points3 points ago

And that's why the world unanimously loves you so much.

[–]alexanderfsu -4 points-3 points ago

How are you going to feel when China wins most of the gold medals? America, we're number 2!

Edit: Apparently what I meant to say was "How are you going to feel when China wins most of the gold medals "again".

[–]Hedonopoly 30 points31 points ago

We'll still brag about how we did it with less than half the population.

I do find nationalism pretty silly though.

[–]ClampingNomads 15 points16 points ago

Completely concur about nationalism, but medals per head is pretty interesting, so I looked it up

At the time of writing, in the London olympics "per capita" golds, US is in 13th place and China in 15th. In first place is Georgia (yes, y'all, it's a country) followed by Kazakhstan and Hungary.

In the Beijing olympics, total gold medals per capita, the winners were (1st to 3rd) Jamaica, Bahrain, Estonia. US came 31st; China came 47th. GB was 15th.

quick edit: and if that website's population stats are accurate, you have a little over a fifth of the population of China.

[–]raskolnikov- 8 points9 points ago

I think there are some qualifying mechanics of the olympics that give smaller countries a distinct advantage in per capita counts.

[–]Hedonopoly 2 points3 points ago

Interesting, thanks for the link. I was kinda doing a couple off googling population stats myself. It really skews around countries that get one medal, or countries who have a guy like Bolt pulling in tons of medals in a place. Cool to look at the statistics in a different light.

[–]alexanderfsu 7 points8 points ago

I'm just sayin, ya gotta pick or choose. With that said, I'm just bitter because I'm Canadian and to us there is really only 1 Olympic games, and it does not involve this much heat.

[–]Dented 0 points1 point ago

National pride is far from silly if you're from Europe.

[–]mddie 3 points4 points ago

Seriously, determining how many medals a country has by population is stupid. India has nearly the same population as China but won 1 gold medal last year.

[–]anseyoh 5 points6 points ago

We will count in whatever way makes us the winner (total or golds) as is tradition.

Do you pay much attention to the American election process?

[–]Remnants 6 points7 points ago

China already won the most gold medals in 2008. The US won more total medals though.

[–]AuRinBei 2 points3 points ago

We'll just pretend Bronze and Silver actually matter like we did in 2008.

[–]ryumast3r 3 points4 points ago

I would say they matter, in general, but not as much as Gold. Because getting a medal, at all, is huge. Hell, placing 4th is huge just not recognized. I typically think of it as a risk-type scale where Gold is 10, Silver is 5 and Bronze is 1. I feel like this doesn't shaft the participants who did a great job overall while still putting emphasis on gold.

Edit: Just to clarify, this method still puts China in 1st in 2008, with the U.S. still in 2nd.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]bossferatu 0 points1 point ago

obvious repost (4.th Juli) but dang if I didn't just see this today.

Same topic but slightly different headline

[–]Sp4rtaN25 1 point2 points ago

What movie is this from? I saw this posted in r/gaming for something about assassins creed and I wanted to know the movie but I love this gif lol

[–]charros 0 points1 point ago

we dun good

[–]Umpa 1 point2 points ago

I still like the Hulkster

[–]explosivo563 1 point2 points ago

Kenny Fuckin Powers

[–]bijida 0 points1 point ago

Undaunted, I knew the game was mine to win. Just like in life, all of my successes depend on me. I'm the man who has the ball; I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So, that is why I'm better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick, everyone

[–]dragon144 1 point2 points ago

along with singing this.

[–]ktoth05 1 point2 points ago

Hell, thats me whenever the U.S wins ANY medal.

[–]Crapaholic 1 point2 points ago

I'd like to see Kenny Powers in the olympics

edit: that is Kenny Powers right?

[–]masanian 0 points1 point ago

AMURICA!

[–]StoneDeaf -1 points0 points ago

Yea, everytime the US actually gets a medal we think 'Good goin' little one!' and then we remember the fucking paralymics haven't even started yet. You're welcome

[–]PandaCow 0 points1 point ago

Epic!!!.

[–]Konrad90 0 points1 point ago

And then they stand on a podium while the Brits play us an old beer drinking song that now the tune of our national anthem.